Volume 7 Clarissa

7/31/2019 Volume 7 Clarissa

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CLARISSAHARLOWE

orthe

HISTORYOFAYOUNGLADY

NineVolumesVolumeVII.

CONTENTSOFVOLUMEVII

LETTERI.MissHowetoClarissa.--Beseecheshertotakecomfort,andnotdespair.IsdreadfullyapprehensiveofherownsafetyfromMr.Lovelace.Aninstructiontomothers.

LETTERII.ClarissaToMissHowe.--AverseassheistoappearinacourtofjusticeagainstLovelace,shewillconsenttoprosecutehim,ratherthanMissHoweshallliveinterror.Hopessheshallnotdespair:butdoubtsnot,fromsomanyconcurrentcircumstances,thattheblowisgiven.

LETTERIII.IV.LovelacetoBelford.--HasnosubjectworthwritinguponnowhehaslosthisClarissa.Halfinjest,halfinearnest,[asusualwithhimwhenvexedordisappointed,]hedeploresthelossofher.--HumourousaccountofLordM.,ofhimself,andofhistwocousinsMontague.HisClarissahasmadehimeyelessandsenselesstoeveryotherbeauty.

LETTERV.VI.VII.VIII.Fromthesame.--LadySarahSadleirandLadyBettyLawrancearrive,andengageLordM.andhistwocousinsMontagueagainsthim,onaccountofhistreatmentofthelady.Histrial,ashecallsit.Aftermanyaltercations,theyobtainhisconsentthathistwocousinsshouldendeavourtoengageMissHoweto

prevailuponClarissatoacceptofhim,onhisunfeignedrepentance.Itissomepleasuretohim,hehoweverrakishlyreflects,toobservehowplacabletheladiesofhisfamilywouldhavebeen,hadtheymetwithaLovelace.MARRIAGE,sayshe,withthesewomen,isanatonementfortheworstwecandotothem;atruedramaticrecompense.Hemakesseveralotherwhimsical,butcharacteristicobservations,someofwhichmayserveascautionsandwarningstothesex.

LETTERIX.MissHowetoClarissa.--HashadavisitfromthetwoMissMontague's.Theirerrand.AdviseshertomarryLovelace.Reasonsforheradvice.

LETTERX.MissHowetoClarissa.--

Chidesherwithfriendlyimpatiencefornotansweringherletter.Re-urgeshertomarryLovelace,andinstantlytoputherselfunderLadyBetty'sprotection.

LETTERXI.MissHowetoMissMontague.--Inaphrensyofhersoul,writestohertodemandnewsofherbelovedfriend,spiritedaway,assheapprehends,bythebaseartsoftheblackestofmen.

LETTERXII.LovelacetoBelford.--



Thesufferinginnocentarrestedandconfined,bytheexecrablewoman,inashamaction.Hecurseshimself,andallhisplotsandcontrivances.Conjureshimtoflytoher,andclearhimofthislow,thisdirtyvillany;tosetherfreewithoutconditions;andassureher,thathewillnevermolesthermore.Horriblyexecratesthediabolicalwomen,whothoughttomakethemselvesameritwithhimbythisabominableinsult.

LETTERXIII.XIV.MissMontaguetoMissHowe,withtheparticularsofallthathashappenedtothelady.--Mr.Lovelacethemostmiserableofmen.Reflectionsonlibertines.She,hersister,LadyBetty,LadySarah,LordM.,andLovelacehimself,allsignletterstoMissHowe,assertinghisinnocenceofthishorridinsult,andimploringhercontinuedinterestinhisandtheirfavourwithClarissa.

LETTERXV.BelfordtoLovelace.--Particularsofthevilearrest.Insolentvisitsofthewickedwomentoher.Herunexampledmeeknessandpatience.Herfortitude.Headmiresit,andprefersittothefalsecourageofmenoftheirclass.

LETTERXVI.Fromthesame.--Goestotheofficer'shouse.Adescriptionofthehorridprison-room,andofthesufferingladyonherkneesinonecornerofit.Hergreatandmovingbehaviour.Breaksoff,andsendsawayhisletter,onpurposetoharasshimbysuspense.

LETTERXVII.LovelacetoBelford.--Curseshimforhistormentingabruption.Clarissaneversufferedhalfwhathesuffers.Thatsexmadetobearpain.Conjureshimtohastentohimtherestofhissoul-harrowingintelligence.

LETTERXVIII.BelfordtoLovelace.--Hisfartherproceedings.TheladyreturnstoherlodgingsatSmith's.Distinctionbetweenrevengeandresentmentinhercharacter.Sendsher,fromthevilewomen,allherapparel,asLovelacehaddesired.

LETTERXIX.BelfordtoLovelace.--Rejoicestofindhecanfeel.Willendeavourfromtimetotimetoaddto

hisremorse.Insistsuponhispromisenottomolestthelady.

LETTERXX.Fromthesame.--Describesherlodgings,andgivesacharacterofthepeople,andofthegoodwidowLovick.Sheissoill,thattheyprovideheranhonestnurse,andsendforMr.Goddard,aworthyapothecary.SubstanceofalettertoMissHowe,dictatedbythelady.

LETTERXXI.Fromthesame.--Admittedtothelady'spresence.Whatpassedontheoccasion.Reallybelievesthatshestillloveshim.Hasareverence,andevenaholyloveforher.AstonishedthatLovelacecouldholdhispurposesagainstsuchanangelofawoman.Condemnshimfornottimelyexertinghimselfto

saveher.

LETTERXXII.Fromthesame.--Dr.H.calledin.Nothavingasingleguineatogivehim,sheacceptsofthreefromMrs.Lovickonadiamondring.Herdutifulreasonsforadmittingthedoctor'svisit.Hisengagingandgentlemanlybehaviour.Sheresolvestopartwithsomeofherrichestapparel.Herreasons.

LETTERXXIII.LovelacetoBelford.--Ravesathim.Forwhat.Rallieshim,withhisusualgayety,onseveral



passagesinhisletters.ReasonswhyClarissa'sheartcannotbebrokenbywhatshehassuffered.Passionategirlseasilysubdued.Sedateoneshardlyeverpardon.Hehassomeretrogrademotions:yetisinearnesttomarryClarissa.Gravelyconcludes,thatapersonintendingtomarryshouldneverbearake.Hisgayresolutions.Renews,however,hispromisesnottomolesther.Acharmingencouragementforamanofintrigue,whenawomanisknownnottoloveherhusband.Advantageswhichmenhaveoverwomen,whendisappointedinlove.Heknowsshewillpermithimtomakeheramends,aftershehasplaguedhimheartily.

LETTERXXIV.MissHowetoClarissa.--Isshockedatreceivingaletterfromherwrittenbyanotherhand.Tenderlyconsolesher,andinveighsagainstLovelace.Re-urgesher,however,tomarryhim.Hermotherabsolutelyofheropinion.PraisesMr.Hickman'ssister,who,withherLord,hadpaidheravisit.

LETTERXXV.ClarissatoMissHowe.--Herconditiongreatlymended.Inwhatparticulars.Hermindbeginstostrengthen;andshefindsherselfattimessuperiortohercalamities.Inwhatlightshewisheshertothinkofher.Desireshertoloveherstill,butwithaweaninglove.Sheisnotnowwhatshewaswhentheywereinseparablelovers.Theirviewsmustnowbedifferent.

LETTERXXVI.BelfordtoLovelace.--

Aconsumingmalady,andaconsumingmistress,asinBelton'scase,dreadfulthingstostrugglewith.Fartherreflectionsonthelifeofkeeping.Thepoormanafraidtoenterintohisownhouse.Belfordundertakeshiscause.Instinctinbrutesequivalenttonaturalaffectioninmen.StoryoftheancientSarmatians,andtheirslaves.Reflectsonthelivesofrakes,andfree-livers;andhowreadytheyareinsicknesstorunawayfromoneanother.Pictureofarakeonasickbed.Willmarryanddesertthemall.

LETTERXXVII.Fromthesame.--Theladypartswithsomeofherlaces.InstancesoftheworthinessofDr.H.andMr.Goddard.HeseverelyreflectsuponLovelace.

LETTERXXVIII.LovelacetoBelford.--HasaninterviewwithMr.Hickman.Onwhatoccasion.Heendeavourstodisconcerthim,byassuranceandridicule;butfindshimtobehavewithspirit.

LETTERXXIX.Fromthesame.--Rallieshimonhisintentionalreformation.Ascribesthelady'sillhealthentirelytothearrest,(inwhich,hesays,hehadnohand,)andtoherrelations'cruelty.Makeslightofhersellingherclothesandlaces.TouchesuponBelton'scase.Distinguishesbetweencompanionshipandfriendship.HowhepurposestoridBeltonofhisThomasineandhercubs.

LETTERXXX.BelfordtoLovelace.--Theladyhaswrittentohersister,toobtainarevocationofherfather'smalediction.Defendsherparents.Hepleadswiththeutmostearnestnesstoherforhisfriend.

LETTERXXXI.Fromthesame.--Canhardlyforbearprostrationtoher.Tendershimselfasherbanker.Conversationonthissubject.Admireshermagnanimity.Nowonderthatavirtuesosolidlybasedcouldbaffleallhisarts.Otherinstancesofhergreatnessofmind.Mr.Smithandhiswifeinvitehim,andbegofher



todinewiththem,itbeingtheirweddingday.Heraffectingbehaviourontheoccasion.Shebriefly,andwithherusualnoblesimplicity,relatestothemtheparticularsofherlifeandmisfortunes.

LETTERXXXII.LovelacetoBelford.--Ridiculeshimonhisaddresstotheladyasherbanker,andonhisaspirationsandprostrations.Wantstocomeatlettersshehaswritten.PutshimuponengagingMrs.Lovicktobringthisabout.Weightthatproselyteshavewiththegoodpeoplethatconvertthem.Reasonsforit.Hehashopesstillofthelady'sfavour;andwhy.Neveradoredhersomuchasnow.IsabouttogotoaballatColonelAmbrose's.Whotobethere.Censuresaffectationandfineryinthedressofmen;andparticularlywithaviewtoexalthimself,ridiculesBelfordonthissubject.

LETTERXXXIII.XXXIV.XXXV.XXXVI.XXXVII.SharplettersthatpassbetweenMissHoweandArabellaHarlowe.

LETTERXXXVIII.Mrs.HarlowetoMrs.Howe.--Sentwithcopiesofthefiveforegoingletters.

LETTERXXXIX.Mrs.HowetoMrs.Harlowe.Inanswer.

LETTERXL.MissHowetoClarissa.--

DesiresananswertoherformerlettersforhertocommunicatetoMissMontague.Fartherenforcesherownandhermother'sopinion,thatsheshouldmarryLovelace.IsobligedbyhermothertogotoaballatColonelAmbrose's.Ferventprofessionsofherfriendlylove.

LETTERXLI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--HernoblereasonsforrefusingLovelace.DesireshertocommunicateextractsfromthislettertotheLadiesofhisfamily.

LETTERXLII.Fromthesame.--Begs,forhersake,thatshewillforbeartreatingherrelationswithfreedomandasperity.Endeavours,inherusualdutifulmanner,todefendtheirconducttowardsher.PresseshertomakeMr.Hickmanhappy.

LETTERXLIII.Mrs.NortontoClarissa.--Excusesherlongsilence.Herfamily,whowereintendingtofavourher,incensedagainstherbymeansofMissHowe'swarmletterstohersister.

LETTERXLIV.ClarissatoMrs.Norton.--IsconcernedthatMissHoweshouldwriteabouthertoherfriends.Givesheranarrativeofallthathasbefallenhersinceherlast.Hertrulychristianframeofmind.Makesreflectionsworthyofherself,uponherpresentsituation,anduponherhopes,withregardtoahappyfuturity.

LETTERXLV.CopyofClarissa'shumblelettertohersister,imploringtherevocation

ofherfather'sheavymalediction.

LETTERXLVI.BelfordtoLovelace.--Defendstheladyfromtheperversenesshe(Lovelace)imputestoheronpartingwithsomeofherapparel.PoorBelton'smiserablestatebothofbodyandmind.Observationsonthefriendshipoflibertines.Admiresthenoblesimplicity,andnaturaleaseanddignityofstyle,ofthesacredbooks.Expatiatesuponthepragmaticalfollyofman.Thosewhoknowleast,thegreatestscoffers.



LETTERXLVII.Fromthesame.--Theladypartswithoneofherbestsuitsofclothes.Reflectionsuponsuchpurchasersastakeadvantageofthenecessitiesoftheirfellow-creatures.Selfanodiousdevil.Avisiblealterationintheladyfortheworse.ShegiveshimallMr.Lovelace'sletters.He(Belford)takesthisopportunitytopleadforhim.Mr.Hickmancomestovisither.

LETTERXLVIII.Fromthesame.--BreakfastsnextmorningwiththeladyandMr.Hickman.Hisadvantageousopinionofthatgentleman.Censurestheconceitedprideandnarrow-mindednessofrakesandlibertines.TenderandaffectingpartingbetweenMr.Hickmanandthelady.Observationsinpraiseofintellectualfriendship.

LETTERXLIX.MissHowetoClarissa.--Hasnonotionofcoldnessinfriendship.Isnotadaughterofthosewhomshesofreelytreats.DelaysgivingthedesirednegativetothesolicitationoftheladiesofLovelace'sfamily;andwhy.HasbeenexceedinglyflutteredbytheappearanceofLovelaceattheballgivenbyColonelAmbrose.Whatpassedonthatoccasion.Hermotherandalltheladiesoftheirselectacquaintanceofopinionthatsheshouldacceptofhim.

LETTERL.Clarissa.Inanswer.--Chidesherforsuspendingthedecisivenegative.Wereshesuresheshouldlivemanyyears,shewouldnothaveMr.Lovelace.Censuresoftheworldtobebutofsecondregardwithanybody.Methodastodevotionandexerciseshewasinwhensocruellyarrested.

LETTERLI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--DesignedtobecommunicatedtoMr.Lovelace'srelations.

LETTERLII.LIII.LovelacetoBelford.--Twolettersentirelycharacteristicyetintermingledwithlessonsandobservationsnotunworthyofabettercharacter.HehasgreathopesfromMissHowe'smediationinhisfavour.Pictureoftworakesturned

Hermits,intheirpenitentials.

LETTERLIV.MissHowetoClarissa.--ShenowgreatlyapprovesofherrejectionofLovelace.Admiresthenobleexampleshehasgivenhersexofapassionconquered.IssorryshewrotetoArabella:butcannotimitateherinherself-accusations,andacquittalsofotherswhoareallinfault.Hernotionsofahusband'sprerogative.Hopessheisemployingherselfinpenningdowntheparticularsofhertragicalstory.Usetobemadeofittotheadvantageofhersex.Hermotherearnestaboutit.

LETTERLV.MissHowetoMissMontague.--WithClarissa'sLetter,No.XLI.ofthisvolume.Herownsentimentsof

thevillanoustreatmentherbelovedfriendhadmetwithfromtheirkinsman.Praysforvengeanceuponhim,ifshedonotrecover.

LETTERLVI.Mrs.NortontoClarissa.--AcquaintsherwithsomeoftheirmovementsatHarlowe-place.Almostwishesshewouldmarrythewickedman;andwhy.Usefulreflectionsonwhathasbefallenayoungladysouniversallybeloved.Musttrytomovehermotherinherfavour.Butbywhatmeans,willnottellher,unlessshesucceed.



LETTERLVII.Mrs.NortontoMrs.Harlowe.

LETTERLVIII.Mrs.Harlowe'saffectinganswer.

LETTERLIX.ClarissatoMrs.Norton.--Earnestlybegs,forreasonsequallygenerousanddutiful,thatshemaybelefttoherownwayofworkingwithherrelations.Hasreceivedhersister'sanswertoherletter,No.XLV.ofthisvolume.Shetriestofindanexcusefortheseverityofit,thoughgreatlyaffectedbyit.Otheraffectinganddutifulreflections.

LETTERLX.Hersister'scruelletter,mentionedinthepreceding.

LETTERLXI.ClarissatoMissHowe.--IspleasedthatshenowatlastapprovedofherrejectingLovelace.Desireshertobecomfortedastoher.Promisesthatshewillnotrunawayfromlife.HopesshehasalreadygotabovetheshockgivenherbytheilltreatmentshehasmetwithfromLovelace.Hashadanescape,ratherthanaloss.Impossible,wereitnotfortheoutrage,thatshecouldhavebeenhappywithhim;andwhy.Setsinthemostaffecting,themostdutifulandgenerouslights,thegriefofherfather,mother,andotherrelations,onheraccount.Hadbeguntheparticularsofhertragicalstory;butwouldfainavoidproceedingwithit;andwhy.OpensherdesigntomakeMr.Belfordherexecutor,andgivesherreasonsfor

it.Herfatherhavingwithdrawnhismalediction,shenowhasonlyalastblessingtosupplicatefor.

LETTERLXII.Clarissatohersister.--Beseechingher,inthemosthumbleandearnestmanner,toprocureheralastblessing.

LETTERLXIII.Mrs.NortontoClarissa.--Mr.Brandtobesentuptoinquireafterherwayoflifeandhealth.Hispedanticcharacter.Believestheywillwithholdanyfavourtilltheyhearhisreport.Doubtsnotthatmatterswillsoontakeahappyturn.

LETTERLXIV.Clarissa.Inanswer.--

Thegracesheasksforisonlyablessingtodiewith,nottolivewith.Theirfavour,iftheydesignherany,maycometoolate.Doubtshermothercandonothingforherofherself.Astrongconfederacyagainstapoorgirl,theirdaughter,sister,niece.HerbrotherperhapsgotitrenewedbeforehewenttoEdinburgh.Heneedednot,saysshe:hisworkisdone,andmorethandone.

LETTERLXV.LovelacetoBelford.--Ismortifiedatreceivinglettersofrejection.Charlottewritestotheladyinhisfavour,inthenameofallthefamily.Everybodyapprovesofwhatshehaswritten;andhehasgreathopesfromit.

LETTERLXVI.CopyofMissMontague'slettertoClarissa.--

Beseechingher,inthenamesofalltheirnoblefamily,toreceiveLovelacetofavour.

LETTERLXVII.BelfordtoLovelace.--ProposestoputBelton'ssisterintopossessionofBelton'shouseforhim.Theladyvisiblyalteredfortheworse.Againinsistsuponhispromisenottomolesther.

LETTERLXVIII.ClarissatoMissMontague.--Inanswertoher's,No.LXVI.



LETTERLXIX.BelfordtoLovelace.--Hasjustnowreceivedaletterfromthelady,whichheencloses,requestingextractsformtheletterswrittentohimbyMr.Lovelacewithinaparticularperiod.Thereasonswhichdeterminehimtoobligeher.

LETTERLXX.BelfordtoClarissa.--Withtherequestedextracts;andapleainhisfriend'sfavour.

LETTERLXXI.ClarissatoBelford.--Thankshimforhiscommunications.Requeststhathewillbeherexecutor;andgivesherreasonsforherchoiceofhimforthatsolemnoffice.

LETTERLXXII.BelfordtoClarissa.--Hischeerfulacceptanceofthetrust.

LETTERLXXIII.BelfordtoLovelace.--Briefaccountoftheextractsdeliveredtothelady.Tellshimofherappointinghimherexecutor.Themelancholypleasureheshallhaveintheperusalofherpapers.Muchmorelivelyandaffecting,sayshe,mustbethestyleofthosewhowriteintheheightofapresentdistressthanthedry,narrative,unanimatedstyleofapersonrelatingdifficulties

surmounted,canbe.LETTERLXXIV.ArabellatoClarissa.--Inanswertoherletter,No.LXII.,requestingalastblessing.

LETTERLXXV.Clarissatohermother.--Writteninthefervourofherspirit,yetwiththedeepesthumility,andonherknees,imploringherblessing,andherfather's,aswhatwillsprinklecomfortthroughherlasthours.

LETTERLXXVI.MissMontaguetoClarissa.--Inreplytoher's,No.LXVIII.--Alltheirfamilyloveandadmireher.Theirkinsmanhasnotonefriendamongthem.Beseechhertoobligethem

withtheacceptanceofanannuity,andthefirstpaymentnowsenther,atleasttillshecanbeputinpossessionofherownestate.ThislettersignedbyLordM.,LadySarah,LadyBetty,andhersisterandself.

LETTERLXXVII.LovelacetoBelford.--Ravesagainsttheladyforrejectinghim;yetadoresherthemoreforit.Hasonehalfofthehousetohimself,andthatthebest;havingforbidLordM.andtheladiestoseehim,inreturnfortheirforbiddinghimtoseethem.IncensedagainstBelfordfortheextractshehaspromisedfromhisletters.Ispiquedtodeathatherproudrefusalofhim.Cursesthevilewomen,andtheirpotions.Butfortheselatter,themajestyofhervirtue,hesays,wouldhavesavedher,asitdidoncebefore.

LETTERLXXVIII.LovelacetoBelford.--Heshallnot,hetellshim,beherexecutor.Nobodyshallbeanythingtoherbuthimself.Whatareprobationofaman,whowasoncesodeartoher!Fartherinstancesofhisravingimpatience.

LETTERLXXIX.LovelacetoClarissa.--Aletterfullofpenitence,promises,praises,andadmirationofhervirtue.Hasnohopesofescapingfromperditionbutbyherpreceptsandexample.Allhebegsforthepresentisafewlinestoencouragehimtohopeforforgiveness,ifhecanjustifyhisvowsbyhisfutureconduct.



LETTERLXXX.ClarissatoLordM.andtheladiesofthehouse.--Thankfullydeclinesacceptingoftheirofferedbounty.Pleadsfortheirbeingreconciledtotheirkinsman,forreasonsrespectingherownpeace.Hopesthattheymaybeenabledtorejoiceintheeffectsofhisreformationmanyyearsaftersheislaidlowandforgotten.

LETTERLXXXI.BelfordtoLovelace.--BriefaccountofhisexpellingThomasine,hersons,andhergallant.Fartherreflectionsonkeeping.Astatenotcalculatedforasickbed.Givesashortjournalofwhathadpassedrelatingtotheladysincehislast.Mr.BrandinquiresafterhercharacterandbehaviourofMrs.Smith.Hisstarchedness,conceit,andpedantry.

LETTERLXXXII.Fromthesame.--Fartherparticularsrelatingtothelady.Powerleftherbyhergrandfather'swill.

LETTERLXXXIII.ClarissatoLovelace.--Inanswertohisletter,No.LXXIX.

LETTERLXXXIV.HeruncleHarlowe'scruelanswer,inanswertoher'stohermother,No.LXXV.Meditationstitchedtoitwithblacksilk.

LETTERLXXXV.ClarissatoheruncleHarlowe.Inreply.

THEHISTORY

OF

CLARISSAHARLOWE

LETTERI

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEWED.NIGHT,JULY12.

Iwrite,mydearestcreature,Icannotbutwrite,toexpressmyconcernonyourdejection.Letmebeseechyou,mycharmingexcellence,letmebeseechyou,nottogivewaytoit.

Comfortyourself,onthecontrary,inthetriumphsofavirtueunsullied;awillwhollyfaultless.Whocouldhavewithstoodthetrialsyouhave

surmounted?--YourcousinMordenwillsooncome.Hewillseejusticedoneyou,Imakenodoubt,aswellwithregardtowhatconcernsyourpersonasyourestate.Andmanyhappydaysmayyouyetsee;andmuchgoodmayyoustilldo,ifyouwillnotheightenunavoidableaccidentsintoguiltydespondency.

Butwhy,why,mydear,thispiningsolicitudecontinuedafterareconciliationwithrelationsasunworthyasimplacable;whosewillsaregovernedbyanall-graspingbrother,whofindshisaccountinkeepingthebreachopen?Onthisover-solicitudeitisnowplaintome,thatthe



vilestofmenbuiltallhisschemes.Hesawthatyouthirstedafteritbeyondallreasonforhope.Theview,thehope,Iown,extremelydesirable,hadyourfamilybeenChristians:orevenhadtheybeenPaganswhohadhadbowels.

Ishallsendthisshortletter[Iamobligedtomakeitashortone]byyoungRogers,aswecallhim;thefellowIsenttoyoutoHampstead;aninnocent,thoughpragmaticalrustic.Admithim,Iprayyou,intoyoupresence,thathemayreporttomehowyoulook,andhowyouare.

Mr.Hickmanshouldattendyou;butIapprehend,thatallhismotions,andmineowntoo,arewatchedbytheexecrablewretch:andindeedhisarebyanagentofmine;forIown,thatIamsoapprehensiveofhisplotsandrevenge,nowIknowthathehasinterceptedmyvehementlettersagainsthim,thatheisthesubjectofmydreams,aswellasofmywakingfears.

***

Mymother,atmyearnestimportunity,hasjustgivenmeleavetowrite,andtoreceiveyourletters--butfastenedthisconditionupontheconcession,thatyour'smustbeundercovertoMr.Hickman,[thisisaview,Isuppose,togivehimconsiderationwithme];anduponthis

furtherconsideration,thatsheistoseeallwewrite.--'Whengirlsaresetuponapoint,'shetoldonewhotoldmeagain,'itisbetterforamother,ifpossible,tomakeherselfoftheirparty,thantoopposethem;sincetherewillbethenhopesthatshewillstillholdthereinsinherownhands.'

Prayletmeknowwhatthepeoplearewithwhomyoulodge?--ShallIsendMrs.Townsendtodirectyoutolodgingseithermoresafeormoreconvenientforyou?

BepleasedtowritetomebyRogers;whowillwaitonyouforyouranswer,atyourowntime.

Adieu,mydearestcreature.Comfortyourself,asyouwouldinthelikeunhappycircumstancescomfort

YourownANNAHOWE.

LETTERII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAY,JULY13.

Iamextremelyconcerned,mydearMissHowe,forbeingprimarilytheoccasionoftheapprehensionsyouhaveofthiswickedman'svindictiveattempts.Whatawide-spreadingerrorismine!----

IfIfindthathehassetfootonanymachinationagainstyou,oragainstMr.Hickman,IdoassureyouIwillconsenttoprosecutehim,althoughIweresureIcouldnotsurvivemyfirstappearanceatthebarheshouldbearraignedat.



Iownthejusticeofyourmother'sargumentsonthatsubject;butmustsay,thatIthinktherearecircumstancesinmyparticularcase,whichwillexcuseme,althoughonaslighteroccasionthanthatyouareapprehensiveofIshoulddeclinetoappearagainsthim.Ihavesaid,thatImayonedayentermoreparticularlyintothisargument.

Yourmessengerhasnowindeedseenme.ItalkedwithhimonthecheatputuponhimatHampstead:andamsorrytohavereasontosay,thathadnotthepooryoungmanbeenverysimple,andveryself-sufficient,hehadnotbeensogrosslydeluded.Mrs.Bevishasthesamepleatomakeforherself.Agood-natured,thoughtlesswoman;notusedtoconversewithsovileandsospeciousadeceiverashim,whomadehisadvantageofboththeseshallowcreatures.

IthinkIcannotbemoreprivatethanwhereIam.IhopeIamsafe.AlltherisqueIrun,isingoingout,andreturningfrommorning-prayers;whichIhavetwoorthreetimesventuredtodo;onceatLincoln's-innchapel,ateleven;onceatSt.Dunstan's,Fleet-street,atseveninthemorning,*inachairbothtimes;andtwice,atsixinthemorning,attheneighbouringchurchinCovent-garden.ThewickedwretchesIhaveescapedfrom,willnot,Ihope,cometochurchtolookforme;especiallyatsoearlyprayers;andIhavefixedupontheprivatestpewinthelatterchurchtohidemyselfin;andperhapsImaylayoutalittlematterinanordinarygown,bywayofdisguise;myfacehalfhidbymymob.--Iamvery

careless,mydear,ofmyappearancenow.Neatandcleantakesupthewholeofmyattention.

*Theseven-o'clockprayersatSt.Dunstan'shavebeensincediscontinued.

Theman'snameatwhosehouseIbelong,isSmith--aglovemaker,aswellasseller.Hiswifeistheshop-keeper.Adealeralsoinstockings,ribbands,snuff,andperfumes.Amatron-likewoman,plain-hearted,andprudent.Thehusbandanhonest,industriousman.Andtheyliveingoodunderstandingwitheachother:aproofwithmethattheirheartsare

right;forwhereamarriedcouplelivetogetheruponillterms,itisasign,Ithink,thateachknowssomethingamissoftheother,eitherwithregardtotemperormorals,whichiftheworldknewaswellasthemselves,itwouldperhapsaslittlelikethemassuchpeoplelikeeachother.Happythemarriage,whereneithermannorwifehasanywilfulorpremeditatedevilintheirgeneralconducttoreproachtheotherwith!--forevenpersonswhohavebadheartswillhaveavenerationforthosewhohavegoodones.

Twoneatrooms,withplain,butcleanfurniture,onthefirstfloor,aremine;onetheycallthedining-room.

Thereis,upanotherpairofstairs,averyworthywidow-lodger,Mrs.

Lovickbyname;who,althoughoflowfortunes,ismuchrespected,asMrs.Smithassuresme,bypeopleofconditionofheracquaintance,forherpiety,prudence,andunderstanding.WithherIproposetobewellacquainted.

Ithankyou,mydear,foryourkind,yourseasonableadviceandconsolation.IhopeIshallhavemoregracegivenmethantodespond,inthereligioussenseoftheword:especiallyasIcanapplytomyselfthecomfortyougiveme,thatneithermywill,normyinconsiderateness,hascontributedtomycalamity.But,nevertheless,theirreconcilablenessof



myrelations,whomIlovewithanunabatedreverence;myapprehensionsoffreshviolences,[thiswickedman,Idoubt,willnotletmerest];mybeingdestituteofprotection;myyouth,mysex,myunacquaintednesswiththeworld,subjectingmetoinsults;myreflectionsonthescandalIhavegiven,addedtothesenseoftheindignitiesIhavereceivedfromaman,ofwhomIdeservednotill;alltogetherwillundoubtedlybringontheeffectthatcannotbeundesirabletome.--Thesituation;and,asIpresumetoimagine,fromprincipleswhichIhopewill,induetime,andbyduereflection,setmeabovethesenseofallworldlydisappointments.

Atpresent,myheadismuchdisordered.Ihavenotindeedenjoyeditwithanydegreeofclearness,sincetheviolencedonetothat,andtomyhearttoo,bythewickedartsoftheabandonedcreaturesIwascastamong.

Imusthavemoreconflicts.AttimesIfindmyselfnotsubduedenoughtomycondition.Iwillwelcomethoseconflictsastheycome,asprobationaryones.--Butyetmyfather'smalediction--thetemporarypartsostrangelyandsoliterallycompleted!--Icannot,however,think,whenmymindisstrongest--ButwhatisthestoryofIsaac,andJacob,andEsau,andofRebekah'scheatingthelatteroftheblessingdesignedforhim,(infavourofJacob,)givenusforinthe27thchapterofGenesis?Myfatherused,Iremember,toenforcethedoctrinededuciblefromit,onhischildren,bymanyarguments.Atleast,therefore,hemustbelieve

thereisgreatweightinthecursehehasannounced;andshallInotbesolicitoustogetitrevoked,thathemaynothereafterbegrieved,formysake,thathedidnotrevokeit?

AllIwillatpresentadd,aremythankstoyourmotherforherindulgencetous;duecomplimentstoMr.Hickman;andmyrequest,thatyouwillbelievemetobe,tomylasthour,andbeyondit,ifpossible,mybelovedfriend,andmydearerself(forwhatisnowmyself!)

YourobligedandaffectionateCLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAY,JULY7.

Ihavethreeofthylettersatoncebeforemetoanswer;ineachofwhichthoucomplainestofmysilence;andinoneofthemtallestme,thatthoucanstnotlivewithoutIscribbletotheeeveryday,oreveryotherdayatleast.

Why,then,die,Jack,ifthouwilt.Whatheart,thinkestthou,canI

havetowrite,whenIhavelosttheonlysubjectworthwritingupon?

Helpmeagaintomyangel,tomyCLARISSA;andthoushalthavealetterfromme,orwritingatleastpartofaletter,everyhour.Allthatthecharmerofmyheartshallsay,thatwillIputdown.Everymotion,everyairofherbelovedperson,everylook,willItrytodescribe;andwhensheissilent,Iwillendeavourtotelltheeherthoughts,eitherwhattheyare,orwhatIwouldhavethemtobe--sothat,havingher,Ishallneverwantasubject.Havinglosther,mywholesoulisablank:thewholecreationroundme,theelementsabove,beneath,andeverythingI



behold,(fornothingcanIenjoy,)areablankwithouther.

Oh!return,return,thouonlycharmerofmysoul!returntothyadoringLovelace!Whatisthelight,whattheair,whatthetown,whatthecountry,what'sanything,withoutthee?Light,air,joy,harmony,inmynotion,arebutpartsofthee;andcouldtheybeallexpressedinoneword,thatwordwouldbeCLARISSA.

OmybelovedCLARISSA,returnthouthen;oncemorereturntoblessthyLOVELACE,whonow,bythelossofthee,knowsthevalueofthejewelhehasslighted;andriseseverymorningbuttocursethesunthatshinesuponeverybodybuthim!

***

Well,but,Jack,'tisasurprisingthingtome,thatthedearfugitivecannotbemetwith;cannotbeheardof.Sheissopooraplotter,(forplottingisnothertalent,)thatIamconfident,hadIbeenatliberty,Ishouldhavefoundheroutbeforenow;althoughthedifferentemissariesIhaveemployedabouttown,roundtheadjacentvillages,andinMissHowe'svicinage,havehithertofailedofsuccess.ButmyLordcontinuessoweakandlow-spirited,thatthereisnogettingfromhim.Iwouldnot

disobligeamanwhomIthinkindangerstill:forwouldhisgout,nowithasgothimdown,butgivehim,likeafairboxer,therising-blow,allwouldbeoverwithhim.Andhere[poxofhisfondnessforme!ithappensataverybadtime]hemakesmesithourstogetherentertaininghimwithmyrogueries:(aprettyamusementforasickman!)andyet,wheneverhehasthegout,hepraysnightandmorningwithhischaplain.Butwhatmusthisnotionsofreligionbe,whoafterhehasnosedandmumbledoverhisresponses,cangiveasighorgroanofsatisfaction,asifhethoughthehadmadeupwithHeaven;andreturnwithanewappetitetomystories?--encouragingthem,byshakinghissideswithlaughingatthem,andcallingmeasadfellow,insuchanaccentasshowshetakesnosmalldelightinhiskinsman.

Theoldpeerhasbeenasinnerinhisday,andsuffersforitnow:asneakingsinner,sliding,ratherthanrushingintovices,forfearofhisreputation.--Payingforwhatheneverhad,andneverdaringtorisetothejoyofanenterpriseatfirsthand,whichcouldbringhimwithinviewofatilting,orofthehonourofbeingconsideredasaprincipalmaninacourtofjustice.

ToseesuchanoldTrojanasthis,justdroppingintothegrave,whichIhopederethiswouldhavebeendug,andfilledupwithhim;cryingoutwithpain,andgruntingwithweakness;yetinthesamemomentcrackhisleathernfaceintoanhorriblelaugh,andcallayoungsinnercharmingvarlet,encoreinghim,asformerlyheusedtodototheItalianeunuchs;whatapreposterous,whatanunnaturaladherencetooldhabits!

MytwocousinsaregenerallypresentwhenIentertain,astheoldpeercallsit.Thosestoriesmustdraghorribly,thathavenotmorehearersandapplaudersthanrelaters.

Applauders!

Ay,Belford,applauders,repeatI;foralthoughthesegirlspretendtoblamemesometimesforthefacts,theypraisemymanner,myinvention,myintrepidity.--Besides,whatotherpeoplecallblame,thatcallIpraise:



Ieverdid;andsoIveryearlydischargedshame,thatcold-waterdampertoanenterprisingspirit.

Thesearesmartgirls;theyhavelifeandwit;andyesterday,uponCharlotte'sravingagainstmeuponarelatedenterprise,Itoldher,thatIhadhadindebateseveraltimes,whethershewereorwerenottoonearofkintome:andthatitwasonceamootpointwithme,whetherIcouldnotloveherdearlyforamonthorso:andperhapsitwaswellforher,thatanotherprettylittlepussstartedup,anddivertedme,justasIwasenteringuponthecourse.

Theyallthreehelduptheirhandsandeyesatonce.ButIobservedthat,thoughthegirlsexclaimedagainstme,theywerenotsoangryatthisplainspeakingasIhavefoundmybeloveduponhintssodarkthatIhavewonderedatherquickapprehension.

ItoldCharlotte,that,graveasshepretendedtobeinhersmilingresentmentsonthisdeclaration,IwassureIshouldnothavebeenputtotheexpenseofabovetwoorthreestratagems,(fornobodyadmiredagoodinventionmorethanshe,)couldIbuthavedisentangledherconsciencefromtheembarrassesofconsanguinity.

Shepretendedtobehighlydispleased:sodidhersisterforher.Itoldher,sheseemedasmuchinearnestasifshehadthoughtmeso;anddared

thetrial.Plainwords,Isaid,inthesecases,weremoreshockingtotheirsexthangradatimactions.AndIbidPattynotbedispleasedatmydistinguishinghersister;sinceIhadagreatrespectforherlikewise.

AnItalianair,inmyusualcarelessway,ahalf-struggled-forkissfromme,andashrugoftheshoulder,bywayofadmiration,fromeachprettycousin,andsad,sadfellow,fromtheoldpeer,attendedwithaside-shakinglaugh,madeusallfriends.

There,Jack!--Wiltthou,orwiltthounot,takethisforaletter?there'squantity,Iamsure.--HowhaveIfilledasheet(notashort-handoneindeed)withoutasubject!Myfellowshalltakethis;forheisgoingtotown.Andifthoucanstthinktolerablyofsuchexecrable

stuff,Iwillsendtheeanother.

LETTERIV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SIX,SATURDAYMORNING,JULY8.

HaveInothingnew,nothingdiverting,inmywhimsicalway,thouaskest,inoneofthythreelettersbeforeme,toentertaintheewith?--Andthoutallestme,that,whenIhaveleasttonarrate,tospeak,intheScottish

phrase,Iammostdiverting.Aprettycompliment,eithertothyself,ortome.Tobothindeed!--asignthatthouhastasfrothyaheartasIahead.Butcanstthousupposethatthisadmirablewomanisnotall,isnoteverythingwithme?YetIdreadtothinkofhertoo;fordetectionofallmycontrivances,Idoubt,mustcomenext.

TheoldpeerisalsofullofMissHarlowe:andsoaremycousins.HehopesIwillnotbesuchadog[there'saspecimenofhispeer-likedialect]astothinkofdoingdishonourablybyawomanofsomuchmerit,beauty,andfortune;andhesaysofsogoodafamily.ButItellhim,



thatthisisastringhemustnottouch:thatitisaverytenderpoint:inshort,ismysoreplace;andthatIamafraidhewouldhandleittooroughly,wereItoputmyselfinthepowerofsoungentleanoperator.

Heshakeshiscrazyhead.Hethinksallisnotasitshouldbebetweenus;longstohavemepresenthertohimasmywife;andoftentellsmewhatgreatthingshewilldo,additionaltohisformerproposals;andwhatpresentshewillmakeonthebirthofthefirstchild.ButIhopethewholeofhisestatewillbeinmyhandsbeforesuchaneventtakesplace.Noharminhoping,Jack!LordM.says,wereitnotforhope,theheartwouldbreak.

***

Eighto'clockatMidsummer,andtheselazyvarletesses(infullhealth)notcomedownyettobreakfast!--Whataconfoundedindecencyinyoungladies,toletarakeknowthattheylovetheirbedssodearly,and,atthesametime,wheretohavethem!ButI'llpunishthem--theyshallbreakfastwiththeirolduncle,andyawnatoneanotherasifforawager;whileIdrivemyphaÃ«tontoColonelAmbroses's,whoyesterdaygavemeaninvitationbothtobreakfastanddine,onaccountoftwoYorkshirenieces,celebratedtoasts,whohavebeenwithhimthisfortnightpast;

andwho,hesays,wanttoseeme.So,Jack,allwomendonotrunawayfromme,thankHeaven!--IwishIcouldhaveleaveofmyheart,sincethedearfugitiveissoungrateful,todriveheroutofitwithanotherbeauty.Butwhocansupplanther?WhocanbeadmittedtoaplaceinitafterMissClarissaHarlowe?

Atmyreturn,ifIcanfindasubject,Iwillscribbleon,toobligethee.

MyphaÃ«ton'sready.Mycousinssendmewordtheyarejustcomingdown:soinspiteI'llbegone.

SATURDAYAFTERNOON.

IdidstaytodinewiththeColonel,andhislady,andnieces:butIcouldnotpasstheafternoonwiththem,fortheheartofme.Therewasenoughinthepersonsandfacesofthetwoyoungladiestosetmeuponcomparisons.Particularfeaturesheldmyattentionforafewmoments:buttheseservedbuttowhetmyimpatiencetofindthecharmerofmysoul;who,forperson,forair,formind,neverhadanyequal.Myheartrecoiledandsickeneduponcomparingmindsandconversation.Pertwit,atoo-studieddesiretoplease;eachinhighgoodhumourwithherself;anopen-mouthaffectationinboth,toshowwhiteteeth,asiftheprincipalexcellence;andtoinviteamorousfamiliarity,bythepromiseofasweetbreath;atthesametimereflectingtacitlyuponbreathsarrogantly

impliedtobelesspure.

OnceIcouldhavebornethem.

TheyseemedtobedisappointedthatIwassosoonabletoleavethem.YethaveInotatpresentsomuchvanity[myClarissahascuredmeofmyvanity]astoattributetheirdisappointmentsomuchtoparticularlikingofme,astotheirownself-admiration.Theylookeduponmeasaconnoisseurinbeauty.Theywouldhavebeenproudofengagingmyattention,assuch:butsoaffected,soflimsy-witted,mereskin-deep



beauties!--Theyhadlookednofartherintothemselvesthanwhattheirglasseswereflattering-glassestoo;forIthoughtthempassive-faced,andspiritless;witheyes,however,uponthehuntforconquests,andbespeakingtheattentionofothers,inordertocountenancetheirown.----IbelieveIcould,withalittlepains,havegiventhemlifeandsoul,andtoeveryfeatureoftheirfacessparklinginformation--butmyClarissa!--OBelford,myClarissahasmademeeyelessandsenselesstoeveryotherbeauty!--Dothoufindherforme,asasubjectworthyofmypen,orthisshallbethelastfrom

ThyLOVELACE.

LETTERV

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SUNDAYNIGHT,JULY9.

Now,Jack,haveIasubjectwithavengeance.Iamintheveryheightofmytrialforallmysinstomybelovedfugitive.Forhereto-day,at

aboutfiveo'clock,arrivedLadySarahSadleirandLadyBettyLawrance,eachinherchariot-and-six.Dowagersloveequipage;andthesecannottraveltenmileswithoutasett,andhalfadozenhorsemen.

Mytimehadhungheavyuponmyhands;andsoIwenttochurchafterdinner.Whymaynothandsomefellows,thoughtI,liketobelookedat,aswellashandsomewenches?Ifellin,whenservicewasover,withMajorWarneton;andsocamenothometillaftersix;andwassurprised,atenteringthecourt-yardhere,tofinditlitteredwithequipagesandservants.Iwassuretheownersofthemcamefornogoodtome.

LadySarah,Isoonfound,wasraisedtothisvisitbyLadyBetty;whohashealthenoughtoallowhertolookouttoherself,andoutofherown

affairs,forbusiness.YetcongratulationtoLordM.onhisamendment,[spitefuldevilsonbothaccounts!]wastheavowederrand.Butcominginmyabsence,Iwastheirprincipalsubject;andtheyhadopportunitytoseteachother'sheartagainstme.

SimonParsonshintedthistome,asIpassedbythesteward'soffice;foritseemstheytalkedloud;andhewasmakingupsomeaccountswitholdPritchard.

However,Ihastenedtopaymydutytothem--otherpeoplenotperformingtheirs,isnoexcusefortheneglectofourown,youknow.

AndnowIenteruponmyTRIAL.

WithhorriblegravefaceswasIreceived.Thetwoantiquitiesonlybowedtheirtabbyheads;makinglongerfacesthanordinary;andalltheoldlinesappearingstrongintheirfurrowedforeheadsandfallencheeks;Howdoyou,Cousin?Andhowdoyou,Mr.Lovelace?lookingallroundatoneanother,aswhoshouldsay,doyouspeakfirst:and,doyou:fortheyseemedresolvedtolosenotime.



Ihadnothingforit,butanairasmanly,astheirswaswomanly.Yourservant,Madam,toLadyBetty;and,Yourservant,Madam,Iamgladtoseeyouabroad,toLadySarah.

Itookmyseat.LordM.lookedhorriblyglum;hisfingersclaspt,andturningroundandround,underandover,hisbutjustdisgoutedthumb;hissallowface,andgogglingeyes,onhistwokinswomen,byturns;butnotoncedeigningtolookuponme.

ThenIbegantothinkofthelaudanum,andwetcloth,Itoldtheeoflongago;andtocallmyselfinquestionforatendernessofheartthatwillneverdomegood.

Atlast,Mr.Lovelace!----CousinLovelace!----Hem!--Hem!--Iamsorry,verysorry,hesitatedLadySarah,thatthereisnohopeofyourevertakingup----

What'sthematternow,Madam?

Thematternow!----WhyLadyBettyhastwolettersfromMissHarlowe,whichhavetolduswhat'sthematter----Areallwomenalikewithyou?

Yes;Icouldhaveanswered;'batingthedifferencewhichpridemakes.

Thentheyallchorus'duponme--SuchacharacterasMissHarlowe's!criedone----Aladyofsomuchgenerosityandgoodsense!Another--Howcharminglyshewrites!thetwomaidenmonkeys,lookingatherfindhandwriting:herperfectionsmycrimes.Whatcanyouexpectwillbetheendofthesethings!criedLadySarah--d----d,d----ddoings!vociferatedthePeer,shakinghisloose-fleshe'dwabblingchaps,whichhungonhisshoulderslikeanoldcow'sdewlap.

Formypart,IhardlyknewwhethertosingorsaywhatIhadtoreplytotheseall-at-onceattacksuponme!-Fairandsoftly,Ladies--oneatatime,Ibeseechyou.Iamnottobehunteddownwithoutbeingheard,Ihope.Prayletmeseetheseletters.Ibegyouwillletmeseethem.

Theretheyare:--that'sthefirst--readitout,ifyoucan.

Iopenedaletterfrommycharmer,datedThursday,June29,ourwedding-day,thatwastobe,andwrittentoLadyBettyLawrance.Bythecontents,tomygreatjoy,Ifindthedearcreatureisaliveandwell,andincharmingspirits.ButthedirectionwheretosendananswertowassoscratchedoutthatIcouldnotreadit;whichafflictedmemuch.

SheputsthreequestionsinittoLadyBetty.

1st.Aboutaletterofher's,datedJune7,congratulatingmeonmynuptials,andwhichIwassogoodastosaveLadyBettythetroubleofwriting----Averycivilthingofme,Ithink!

Again--'WhethersheandoneofherniecesMontagueweretogototown,onanoldchancerysuit?'--And,'Whethertheyactuallydidgototownaccordingly,andtoHampsteadafterwards?'and,'Whethertheybroughttotownfromthencetheyoungcreaturewhomtheyvisited?'wasthesubjectofthesecondandthirdquestions.

Alittleinquisitive,dearrogue!andwhatdidsheexpecttobethebetterforthesequestions?----Butcuriosity,d----dcuriosity,istheitchofthesex--yetwhendidstthouknowitturnedtotheirbenefit?--



Fortheyseldominquire,butwhattheyfear--andtheproverb,asmyLordhasit,says,Itcomeswithafear.Thatis,Isuppose,whattheyfeargenerallyhappens,becausethereisgenerallyoccasionforthefear.

Curiosityindeedsheavowstobeheronlymotivefortheseinterrogatories:for,thoughshesaysherLadyshipmaysupposethequestionsarenotaskedforgoodtome,yettheanswercandomenoharm,norhergood,onlytogivehertounderstand,whetherIhavetoldheraparcelofd----dlyes;that'stheplainEnglishofherinquiry.

Well,Madam,saidI,withasmuchphilosophyasIcouldassume;andmayIask--Pray,whatwasyourLadyship'sanswer?

There'sacopyofit,tossingittome,verydisrespectfully.

ThisanswerwasdatedJuly1.Averykindandcomplaisantonetothelady,butveryso-sotoherpoorkinsman--Thatpeoplecangiveuptheirownfleshandbloodwithsomuchease!--Shetellsher'howproudallourfamilywouldbeofanalliancewithsuchanexcellence.'ShedoesmejusticeinsayinghowmuchIadoreher,asanangelofawoman;andbegsofher,forIknownothowmanysakes,besidesmysoul'ssake,'thatshewillbesogoodastohavemeforahusband:'andanswers--thouwiltguesshow--tothelady'squestions.

Well,Madam;andpray,mayIbefavouredwiththelady'sotherletter?Ipresumeitisinreplytoyour's.

Itis,saidthePeer:but,Sir,letmeaskyouafewquestions,beforeyoureadit--givemetheletter,LadyBetty.

Thereitis,myLord.

Thenonwentthespectacles,andhisheadmovedtothelines--acharmingprettyhand!--Ihaveoftenheardthatthisladyisagenius.

Andso,Jack,repeatingmyLord'swisecommentsandquestionswilllettheeintothecontentsofthismercilessletter.

'Monday,July3,'[readsmyLord.]--Letmesee!--thatwaslastMonday;nolongerago!'Monday,Julythethird--Madam--Icannotexcusemyself'--um,um,um,um,um,um,[humminginarticulately,andskipping,]--'Imustowntoyou,Madam,thatthehonourofbeingrelated'----

Offwentthespectacles--Now,tellme,Sir-r,Hasnotthisladylostallthefriendsshehadintheworldforyoursake?

Shehasveryimplacablefriends,myLord:weallknowthat.

Buthasshenotlostthemallforyoursake?--Tellmethat.

Ibelieveso,myLord.

Wellthen!--Iamgladthouartnotsogracelessastodenythat.

Onwentthespectaclesagain--'Imustowntoyou,Madam,thatthehonourofbeingrelatedtoladiesaseminentfortheirvirtueasfortheirdescent.'--Verypretty,truly!saithmyLord,repeating,'aseminentfortheirvirtueasfortheirdescent,was,atfirst,nosmallinducementwithmetolendaneartoMr.Lovelace'saddress.'



Thereisdignity,born-dignity,inthislady,criedmyLord.

LadySarah.Shewouldhavebeenagracetoourfamily.

LadyBetty.Indeedshewould.

Lovel.Toaroyalfamily,Iwillventuretosay.

LordM.Thenwhatadevil---

Lovel.Pleasetoreadon,myLord.Itcannotbeherletter,ifitdoesnotmakeyouadmirehermoreandmoreasyouread.CousinCharlotte,CousinPatty,prayattend----Readon,myLord.

MissCharlotte.Amazingfortitude!

MissPattyonlyliftedupherdove'seyes.

LordM.[Reading.]'Andtherather,asIwasdetermined,haditcometoeffect,todoeverythinginmypowertodeserveyourfavourableopinion.'

Thenagaintheychorus'duponme!

Ablessedtimeofit,poorI!--Ihadnothingforitbutimpudence!Lovel.Prayreadon,myLord--Itoldyouhowyouwouldalladmireher----or,shallIread?

LordM.D----dassurance![Thenreading.]'Ihadanothermotive,whichIknewwouldofitselfgivememeritwithyourwholefamily:[theywereallear:]apresumptuousone;apunishably-presumptuousone,asithasproved:inthehopethatImightbeanhumblemean,inthehandofProvidence,toreclaimamanwhohad,asIthought,goodsenseenoughatbottomtobereclaimed;oratleastgratitudeenoughtoacknowledgetheintendedobligation,whetherthegeneroushopeweretosucceedornot.'--Excellentyoungcreature!--

Excellentyoungcreature!echoedtheLadies,withtheirhandkerchiefsattheireyes,attendedwithmusic.

Lovel.Bymysoul,MissPatty,youweepinthewrongplace:youshallnevergowithmetoatragedy.

LadyBetty.Hardenedwretch.

HisLordshiphadpulledoffhisspectaclestowipethem.Hiseyesweremisty;andhethoughtthefaultinhisspectacles.

Isawtheywereallcockedandprimed--tobesurethatisaverypretty

sentence,saidI----thatistheexcellencyofthislady,thatineveryline,asshewriteson,sheimprovesuponherself.Pray,myLord,proceed--Iknowherstyle;thenextsentencewillstillriseuponus.

LordM.D----dfellow![Againsaddling,andreading.]'ButIhavebeenmostegregiouslymistakeninMr.Lovelace!'[Thentheyallclamouredagain.]--'Theonlyman,Ipersuademyself'----

Lovel.Ladiesmaypersuadethemselvestoanything:buthowcansheanswerforwhatothermenwouldorwouldnothavedoneinthesame



circumstances?

Iwasforcedtosayanythingtostifletheiroutcries.Poxtakeyealtogether,thoughtI;asifIhadnotvexationenoughinlosingher!

LordM.[Reading.]'Theonlyman,Ipersuademyself,pretendingtobeagentleman,inwhomIcouldhavebeensomuchmistaken.'

Theywereallbeginningagain--Pray,myLord,proceed!--Hear,hear--pray,Ladies,hear!--Now,myLord,bepleasedtoproceed.TheLadiesaresilent.

Sotheywere;lostinadmirationofme,handsandeyesuplifted.

LordM.Iwill,tothyconfusion;forhehadlookedoverthenextsentence.

Whatwretches,Belford,whatspitefulwretches,arepoormortals!--Sorejoicedtostingoneanother!toseeeachotherstung!

LordM.[Reading.]'ForwhileIwasendeavouringtosaveadrowningwretch,Ihavebeen,notaccidentally,butpremeditatedly,andofsetpurpose,drawninafterhim.'--Whatsayyoutothat,Sir-r?

LadyS.|Ay,Sir,whatsayyoutothis?LadyB.|

Lovel.Say!WhyIsayitisaveryprettymetaphor,ifitwouldbuthold.--But,ifyouplease,myLord,readon.Letmehearwhatisfurthersaid,andIwillspeaktoitalltogether.

LordM.Iwill.'Andhehashadtheglorytoaddtothelistofthosehehasruined,anamethat,Iwillbeboldtosay,wouldnothavedisparagedhisown.'

Theyalllookedatme,asexpectingmetospeak.

Lovel.Bepleasedtoproceed,myLord:Iwillspeaktothisby-and-by--HowcameshetoknowIkeptalist?--Iwillspeaktothisby-and-by.

LordM.[Readingon.]'Andthis,Madam,bymeansthatwouldshockhumanitytobemadeacquaintedwith.'

Thenagain,inahurry,offwentthespectacles.

Thiswasaplaguystrokeuponme.Ithoughtmyselfanoakinimpudence;but,bymytroth,thisalmostfelledme.

LordM.Whatsayyoutothis,SIR-R!

Remember,Jack,toreadalltheirSirsinthisdialoguewithadoublerr,Sir-r!denotingindignationratherthanrespect.

TheyalllookedatmeasiftoseeifIcouldblush.

Lovel.Eyesoff,myLord!----Eyesoff,Ladies![Lookingbashfully,Ibelieve.]--WhatsayItothis,myLord!--Why,Isay,thatthisladyhasastrongmannerofexpressingherself!--That'sall.--Therearemanythingsthatpassamonglovers,whichamancannotexplainhimselfuponbeforegravepeople.



LadyBetty.Amonglovers,Sir-r!But,Mr.Lovelace,canyousaythatthisladybehavedeitherlikeaweak,oracredulousperson?--Canyousay--

Lovel.Iamreadytodotheladyallmannerofjustice.--But,praynow,Ladies,ifIamtobethusinterrogated,letmeknowthecontentsoftherestoftheletter,thatImaybepreparedformydefence,asyouareallformyarraignment.For,toberequiredtoanswerpiecemealthus,withoutknowingwhatistofollow,isacursedensnaringwayofproceeding.

Theygavemetheletter:Ireaditthroughtomyself:--andbytherepetitionofwhatIsaid,thouwiltguessattheremainingcontents.

Youshallfind,Ladies,youshallfind,myLord,thatIwillnotsparemyself.Thenholdingtheletterinmyhand,andlookinguponit,asalawyeruponhisbrief,

MissHarlowesays,'ThatwhenyourLadyship,'[turningtoLadyBetty,]'shallknow,that,intheprogresstoherruin,wilfulfalsehoods,repeatedforgeries,andnumberlessperjuries,werenottheleastofmycrimes,youwilljudgethatshecanhavenoprinciplesthatwillmakeherworthyofanalliancewithladiesofyour's,andyournoblesister'scharacter,ifshecouldnot,fromhersoul,declare,thatsuchan

alliancecannevernowtakeplace.'Surely,Ladies,thisispassion!Thisisnotreason.IfourfamilywouldnotthinkthemselvesdishonouredbymymarryingapersonwhomIhadsotreated;but,onthecontrary,wouldrejoicethatIdidherthisjustice:andifshehascomeoutpuregoldfromtheassay;andhasnothingtoreproachherselfwith;whyshoulditbeanimpeachmentofherprinciples,toconsentthatsuchanalliancetakeplace?

Shecannotthinkherselftheworse,justlyshecannot,forwhatwasdoneagainstherwill.

Theircountenancesmenacedageneraluproar--butIproceeded.

YourLordshipreadtous,thatshehadanhope,apresumptuousone:nay,apunishably-presumptuousone,shecallsit;'thatshemightbeamean,inthehandofProvidence,toreclaimme;andthatthis,sheknew,ifeffected,wouldgiveherameritwithyouall.'Butfromwhatwouldshereclaimme?--Shehadheard,you'llsay,(butshehadonlyheard,atthetimesheentertainedthathope,)that,toexpressmyselfinthewomen'sdialect,Iwasaverywickedfellow!--Well,andwhatthen?--Why,truly,theverymomentshewasconvinced,byherownexperience,thatthechargeagainstmewasmorethanhearsay;andthat,ofconsequence,Iwasafitsubjectforhergenerousendeavourstoworkupon;shewouldneedsgivemeup.Accordingly,shefliesout,anddeclares,thattheceremonywhichwouldrepairallshallnevertakeplace!--Canthisbefromanyother

motivethanfemaleresentment?

Thisbroughtthemalluponme,asIintendeditshould:itwasasatubtoawhale;andafterIhadletthemplaywithitawhile,Iclaimedtheirattention,and,knowingthattheyalwayslovedtohearmeprate,wenton.

Thelady,itisplain,thought,thatthereclaimingofamanfrombadhabitswasamucheasiertaskthan,inthenatureofthings,itcanbe.



Shewrites,asyourLordshiphasread,'That,inendeavouringtosaveadrowningwretch,shehadbeen,notaccidentally,butpremeditatedly,andofsetpurpose,drawninafterhim.'Buthowisthis,Ladies?--Youseebyherownwords,thatIamstillfarfrombeingoutofdangermyself.Hadshefoundme,inaquagmiresuppose,andIhadgotoutofitbyhermeans,andlefthertoperishinit;thatwouldhavebeenacrimeindeed.--Butisnotthefactquiteotherwise?Hasshenot,ifherallegoryprovewhatshewouldhaveitprove,gotoutherself,andleftmeflounderingstilldeeperanddeeperin?--Whatsheshouldhavedone,hadshebeeninearnesttosaveme,was,tojoinherhandwithmine,thatsowemightbyourunitedstrengthhelponeanotherout.--Iheldoutmyhandtoher,andbesoughthertogivemeher's:--But,notruly!shewasdeterminedtogetoutherselfasfastasshecould,letmesinkorswim:refusingherassistance(againstherownprinciples)becauseshesawIwantedit.--Yousee,Ladies,yousee,myLord,howprettytinklingwordsrunawaywithearsinclinedtobemusical.

Theywereallreadytoexclaimagain:butIwenton,proleptically,asarhetoricianwouldsay,beforetheirvoiceswouldbreakoutintowords.

Butmyfairaccusersays,that,'IhaveaddedtothelistofthoseIhaveruined,anamethatwouldnothavedisparagedmyown.'Itistrue,Ihavebeengayandenterprising.Itisinmyconstitutiontobeso.IknownothowIcamebysuchaconstitution:butIwasneveraccustomedto

checkorcontroul;thatyouallknow.Whenamanfindshimselfhurriedbypassionintoaslightoffence,which,howeverslight,willnotbeforgiven,hemaybemadedesperate:asathief,whoonlyintendsarobbery,isoftenbyresistance,andforself-preservation,drawnintocommitmurder.

Iwasastrange,ahorridwretch,witheveryone.Buthemustbeasillyfellowwhohasnotsomethingtosayforhimself,wheneverycausehasitsblackanditswhiteside.--Westminster-hall,Jack,affordseverydayasconfidentdefencesasmine.

Butwhatright,proceededI,hasthisladytocomplainofme,whensheasgoodassays--Here,Lovelace,youhaveactedthepartofavillainbyme!

--Youwouldrepairyourfault:butIwon'tletyou,thatImayhavethesatisfactionofexposingyou;andtheprideofrefusingyou.

But,wasthatthecase?Wasthatthecase?WouldIpretendtosay,Iwouldnowmarrythelady,ifshewouldhaveme?

Lovel.YoufindsherenouncesLadyBetty'smediation----

LordM.[Interruptingme.]Wordsarewind;butdeedsaremind:Whatsignifiesyourcursedquibbling,Bob?--Sayplainly,ifshewillhaveyou,willyouhaveher?Answerme,yesorno;andleadusnotawild-goosechaceafteryourmeaning.

Lovel.SheknowsIwould.Buthere,myLord,ifshethusgoesontoexposeherselfandme,shewillmakeitadishonourtousbothtomarry.

Charl.Buthowmustshehavebeentreated--

Lovel.[Interruptingher.]Whynow,CousinCharlotte,chuckingherunderthechin,wouldyouhavemetellyouallthathaspassedbetweentheladyandme?Wouldyoucare,hadyouaboldandenterprizinglover,thatproclamationshouldbemadeofeverylittlepieceofamorousroguery,thatheofferedtoyou?



Charlottereddened.Theyallbegantoexclaim.ButIproceeded.

Theladysays,'Shehasbeendishonoured'(deviltakeme,ifIsparemyself!)'bymeansthatwouldshockhumanitytobemadeacquaintedwiththem.'Sheisaveryinnocentlady,andmaynotbeajudgeofthemeansshehintsat.Over-nicenessmaybeunder-niceness:Haveyounotsuchaproverb,myLord?--tantamountto,Oneextremeproducesanother!----Suchaladyasthismaypossiblythinkhercasemoreextraordinarythanitis.ThisIwilltakeuponmetosay,thatifshehasmetwiththeonlymanintheworldwhowouldhavetreatedher,asshesaysIhavetreatedher,Ihavemetinherwiththeonlywomanintheworldwhowouldhavemadesucharoutaboutacasethatisuncommononlyfromthecircumstancesthatattendit.

Thisbroughtthemalluponme;hands,eyes,voices,allliftedatonce.ButmyLordM.whohasinhishead(thelastseatofretreatinglewdness)asmuchwickednessasIhaveinmyheart,wasforced(upontheairIspokethiswith,andCharlotte'sandalltherestreddening)tomakeamouththatwasbigenoughtoswallowuptheotherhalfofhisface;cryingout,toavoidlaughing,Oh!Oh!--asifunderthepowerofagoutytwinge.

Hadstthouseenhowthetwotabbiesandtheyounggrimalkinslookedat

oneanother,atmyLord,andatme,byturns,thouwouldhavebeenreadytosplitthyuglyfacejustinthemiddle.Thymouthhathalreadydonehalfthework.And,afterall,Ifoundnotseldominthisconversation,thatmyhumourousundauntedairsforcedasmileintomyservicefromtheprimmouthsoftheyoungladies.Theyperhaps,hadtheymetwithsuchanotherintrepidfellowasmyself,whohadfirstgainedupontheiraffections,wouldnothavemadesucharoutasmybelovedhasdone,aboutsuchanaffairasthatwewereassembledupon.Youngladies,asIhaveobservedonanhundredoccasions,fearnothalfsomuchforthemselvesastheirmothersdoforthem.Butherethegirlswereforcedtoputongraveairs,andtoseemangry,becausetheantiquesmadethematterofsuchhighimportance.Yetsolightlysatangerandfellow-feelingattheirhearts,thattheywereforcedtopurseintheirmouths,to

suppressthesmilesInow-and-thenlaidoutfor:whiletheeldershavinghadroses(thatistosay,daughters)oftheirown,andknowinghowfondmenareofatrifle,wouldhavebeenverylothtohavehadthemniptinthebud,withoutsayingtothemotherofthem,Byyourleave,Mrs.Rose-bush.

Thenextarticleofmyindictmentwasforforgery;andforpersonatingofLadyBettyandmycousinCharlotte.

Twoshockingcharges,thou'ltsay:andsotheywere!--ThePeerwasoutrageousupontheforgerycharge.TheLadiesvowednevertoforgivethepersonatingpart.

Notapeace-makeramongthem.Soweallturnedwomen,andscolded.

MyLordtoldme,thathebelievedinhisconsciencetherewasnotavilerfellowuponGod'searththanme.--Whatsignifiesmincingthematter?saidhe--andthatitwasnotthefirsttimeIhadforgedhishand.

TothisIanswered,thatIsupposed,whenthestatuteofScandalumMagnatumwasframed,therewereagoodmanyinthepeeragewhoknewtheydeservedhardnames;andthatthatlawthereforewasrathermade



toprivilegetheirqualities,thantowhitentheircharacters.

Hecalleduponmetoexplainmyself,withaSir-r,sopronounced,astoshowthatoneofthemostignominiouswordsinourlanguagewasinhishead.

People,Isaid,thatwerefencedinbytheirquality,andbytheiryears,shouldnottakefreedomsthatamanofspiritcouldnotputupwith,unlesshewereableheartilytodespisetheinsulter.

Thissethiminaviolentpassion.HewouldsendforPritchardinstantly.LetPritchardbecalled.Hewouldalterhiswill;andallhecouldleavefromme,hewould.

Do,do,myLord,saidI:Ialwaysvaluedmyownpleasureaboveyourestate.ButI'llletPritchardknow,thatifhedraws,heshallsignandseal.

Why,whatwouldIdotoPritchard?--shakinghiscrazyheadatme.

Only,whathe,oranymanelse,writeswithhispen,todespoilmeofwhatIthinkmyright,heshallsealwithhisears;that'sall,myLord.

ThenthetwoLadiesinterposed.LadySarahtoldme,thatIcarriedthingsagreatway;andthatneitherLordM.noranyofthem,deservedthetreatmentIgavethem.

Isaid,IcouldnotbeartobeusedillbymyLord,fortworeasons;first,becauseIrespectedhisLordshipaboveanymanliving;andnext,becauseitlookedasifIwereinducedbyselfishconsiderationstotakethatfromhim,whichnobodyelsewouldoffertome.

Andwhat,returnedhe,shallbemyinducementtotakewhatIdoatyourhands?--Hay,Sir?

Indeed,CousinLovelace,saidLadyBetty,withgreatgravity,wedonotanyofus,asLadySarahsays,deserveatyourhandsthetreatmentyougiveus:andletmetellyou,thatIdon'tthinkmycharacterandyourcousinCharlotte'soughttobeprostituted,inordertoruinaninnocentlady.Shemusthaveknownearlythegoodopinionweallhaveofher,andhowmuchwewishedhertobeyourwife.Thisgoodopinionofourshasbeenaninducementtoher(youseeshesaysso)tolistentoyouraddress.Andthis,withherfriends'folly,hashelpedtothrowherintoyourpower.Howyouhaverequitedheristooapparent.Itbecomesthecharacterweallbear,todisclaimyouractionsbyher.Andletmetellyou,thattohaveherabusedbywickedpeopleraiseduptopersonateus,oranyofus,makesadoublecalluponustodisclaimthem.

Lovel.Whythisistalkingsomewhatlike.Iwouldhaveyoualldisclaimmyactions.IownIhavedoneveryvilelybythislady.Onestepledtoanother.Iamcurstwithanenterprizingspirit.Ihatetobefoiled--

Foiled!interruptedLadySarah.Whatashametotalkatthisrate!--Didtheladysetupacontentionwithyou?Allnoblysincere,andplain-hearted,haveIheardMissClarissaHarloweis:aboveart,abovedisguise;neitherthecoquette,northeprude!--Poorlady!shedeservedabetterfarefromthemanforwhomshetookthestepwhich



shesofreelyblames!

Thisabovehalfaffectedme.--Hadthisdisputebeensohandledbyeveryone,Ihadbeenashamedtolookup.Ibegantobebashful.

CharlotteaskedifIdidnotstillseeminclinabletodotheladyjustice,ifshewouldacceptofme?Itwouldbe,shedaredtosay,thegreatestfelicitythefamilycouldknow(shewouldanswerforone)thatthisfineladywereofit.

Theyalldeclaredtothesameeffect;andLadySarahputthematterhometome.

ButmyLordMarplotwouldhaveitthatIcouldnotbeseriousforsixminutestogether.

ItoldhisLordshipthathewasmistaken;lightashethoughtImadeofhissubject,Ineverknewanythatwentsonearmyheart.

MissPattysaidshewasgladtohearthat:andhersofteyesglistenedwithpleasure.

LordM.calledhersweetsoul,andwasreadytocry.

Notfromhumanityneither,Jack.ThisPeerhasnobowels;asthoumayestobservebythistreatmentofme.Butwhenpeople'smindsareweakenedbyasenseoftheirowninfirmities,andwhentheyaredrawingontotheirlatterends,theywillbemovedontheslightestoccasions,whetherthoseofferfromwithinorwithoutthem.Andthis,frequently,theunpenetratingworld,callshumanity;whenallthetime,incompassionatingthemiseriesofhumannature,theyarebutpityingthemselves;andweretheyinstronghealthandspirits,wouldcareaslittleforanybodyelseasthouorIdo.

Herebroketheyoffmytrialforthissitting.LadySarahwasmuchfatigued.Itwasagreedtopursuethesubjectinthemorning.Theyall,however,retiredtogether,andwentintoprivateconference.

LETTERVI

MR.LOVELACE[INCONTINUATION.]

TheLadies,insteadoftakingupthesubjectwherewehadlaiditdown,mustneedstouchuponpassageinmyfairaccuser'sletter,whichIwasinhopestheywouldhaveletrest,aswewereinatolerableway.But,truly,theymusthearalltheycouldhearofourstory,andwhatIhadto

saytothosepassages,thattheymightbebetterenabledtomediatebetweenus,ifIwerereallyandindeedinclinedtodoherthehoped-forjustice.

Thesepassageswere,1st,'That,afterIhadcompulsorilytrickedherintotheactofgoingoffwithme,IcarriedhertooneoftheworsthousesinLondon.'

2nd,'ThatIhadmadeawickedattemptuponher;inresentmentofwhichshefledtoHampsteadprivately.'



3dly,Cametheforgery,andpersonatingchargesagain;andwewereuponthepointofrenewingoutquarrel,beforewecouldgettothenextcharge:whichwasstillworse.

Forthat(4thly)was'Thathavingbetrayedherbacktothevilehouse,Ifirstrobbedherofhersenses,andthenherhonour;detainingherafterwardsaprisonerthere.'

WereItotelltheetheglossesIputupontheseheavycharges,whatwoulditbe,butrepeatmanyoftheextenuatingargumentsIhaveusedinmyletterstothee?--Sufficeit,therefore,tosay,thatIinsistedmuch,bywayofpalliation,onthelady'sextremeniceness:onherdiffidenceinmyhonour:onMissHowe'scontrivingspirit;plotsontheirpartsbegettingplotsonmine:onthehighpassionsofthesex.Iasserted,thatmywholeview,ingentlyrestrainingher,wastoobligehertoforgiveme,andtomarryme;andthisforthehonourofbothfamilies.Iboastedofmyowngoodqualities;someofwhichnonethatknewmedeny;andtowhichfewlibertinescanlayclaim.

Theythenfellintowarmadmirationsandpraisesofthelady;allofthempreparatory,asIknew,tothegrandquestion:andthusitwasintroducedbyLadySarah.

WehavesaidasmuchasIthinkwecansayupontheselettersofthepoorlady.Todwelluponthemischiefsthatmayensuefromtheabuseofapersonofherrank,ifallthereparationbenotmadethatnowcanbemade,wouldperhapsbetolittlepurpose.Butyouseem,Sir,stilltohaveajustopinionofher,aswellasaffectionforher.Hervirtueisnotintheleastquestionable.Shecouldnotresentasshedoes,hadsheanythingtoreproachherselfwith.Sheis,byeverybody'saccount,afinewoman;hasagoodestateinherownright;isofnocontemptiblefamily;thoughIthink,withregardtoher,theyhaveactedasimprudentlyasunworthily.Fortheexcellencyofhermind,forgoodeconomy,thecommonspeechofher,astheworthyDr.Lewenoncetoldme,isthatherprudencewouldenrichapoorman,andherpietyreclaimalicentiousone.I,whohavenotbeenabroadtwicethistwelvemonth,came

hitherpurposely,sodidLadyBetty,toseeifjusticemaynotbedoneher;andalsowhetherwe,andmyLordM.(yournearestrelations,Sir,)have,orhavenot,anyinfluenceoveryou.And,formyownpart,asyourdeterminationshallbeinthisarticle,suchshallbemine,withregardtothedispositionofallthatiswithinmypower.

LadyBetty.Andmine.

Andmine,saidmyLord:andvaliantlyhesworetoit.

Lovel.FarbeitfrommetothinkslightlyoffavoursyoumayanyofyoubegladIwoulddeserve!butasfarbeitfrommetoenterintoconditionsagainstmyownliking,withsordidviews!--Astofuture

mischiefs,letthemcome.IhavenotdonewiththeHarlowesyet.Theyweretheaggressors;andIshouldbegladtheywouldletmehearfromthem,inthewaytheyshouldhearfrommeinthelikecase.PerhapsIshouldnotbesorrytobefound,ratherthanbeobligedtoseek,onthisoccasion.

MissCharlotte.[Reddening.]Spokelikeamanofviolence,ratherthanamanofreason!Ihopeyou'llallowthat,Cousin.

LadySarah.Well,butsincewhatisdone,andcannotbeundone,letus



thinkofthenextbest,HaveyouanyobjectionagainstmarryingMissHarlowe,ifshewillhaveyou?

Lovel.Therecanpossiblybebutone:Thatsheistoeverybody,nodoubt,aswellastoLadyBetty,pursuingthatmaximpeculiartoherself,(andletmetellyousoitoughttobe:)thatwhatshecannotconcealfromherself,shewillpublishtotheworld.

MissPatty.Thelady,tobesure,writesthisinthebitternessofhergrief,andindespair.----

Lovel.Andsowhenhergriefisallayed;whenherdespairingfitisover--andthisfromyou,CousinPatty!--Sweetgirl!Andwouldyou,mydear,inthelikecase[whisperingher]haveyieldedtoentreaty--wouldyouhavemeantnomorebythelikeexclamations?

Ihadarapwithherfan,andblush;andfromLordM.areflection,ThatIturn'dintojesteverythingtheysaid.

Iasked,iftheythoughttheHarlowesdeservedanyconsiderationfromme?Andwhetherthatfamilywouldnotexultoverme,wereItomarrytheirdaughter,asifIdarednottodootherwise?

LadySarah.OnceIwasangrywiththatfamily,asweallwere.Butnow

Ipitythem;andthink,thatyouhavebuttoowelljustifiedtheworsetreatmenttheygaveyou.

LordM.Theirfamilyisofstanding.Allgentlemenofit,andrich,andreputable.Letmetellyou,thatmanyofourcoronetswouldbegladtheycouldderivetheirdescentsfromnoworseastemthantheirs.

Lovel.TheHarlowesareanarrow-souledandimplacablefamily.Ihatethem:and,thoughIreverethelady,scornallrelationtothem.

LadyBetty.Iwishnoworsecouldbesaidofhim,whoissuchascornerofcommonfailingsinothers.

LordM.HowwouldmysisterLovelacehavereproachedherselfforallherindulgentfollytothisfavouriteboyofher's,hadshelivedtillnow,andbeenpresentonthisoccasion!

LadySarah.Well,but,beggingyourLordship'spardon,letusseeifanythingcanbedoneforthispoorlady.

MissCh.IfMr.Lovelacehasnothingtoobjectagainstthelady'scharacter,(andIpresumetothinkheisnotashamedtodoherjustice,thoughitmaymakeagainsthimself,)Icannotbutseeherhonourandgenerositywillcompelfromhimallthatweexpect.Iftherebeanylevities,anyweaknesses,tobechargeduponthelady,Ishouldnotopenmylipsinherfavour;thoughinprivateIwouldpityher,anddeplore

herhardhap.Andyet,eventhen,theremightnotwantarguments,fromhonourtogratitude,insoparticularacase,toengageyou,Sir,tomakegoodthevowsitisplainyouhavebroken.

LadyBetty.MynieceCharlottehascalleduponyousojustly,andhasputthequestiontoyousoproperly,thatIcannotbutwishyouwouldspeaktoitdirectly,andwithoutevasion.

Allinabreaththenbespokemyseriousness,andmyjustice:andinthismannerIdeliveredmyself,assuminganairsincerelysolemn.



'Iamverysensiblethattheperformanceofthetaskyouhaveputmeuponwillleavemewithoutexcuse:butIwillnothaverecourseeithertoevasionorpalliation.

'AsmycousinCharlottehasseverelyobserved,IamnotashamedtodojusticetoMissHarlowe'smerit.

'Iowntoyouall,and,whatismore,withhighregret,(ifnotwithshame,cousinCharlotte,)thatIhaveagreatdealtoanswerforinmyusageofthislady.Thesexhasnotanoblermind,noralovelierpersonofit.And,forvirtue,Icouldnothavebelieved(excuseme,Ladies)thatthereeverwasawomanwhogave,orcouldhavegiven,suchillustrious,suchuniformproofsofit:for,inherwholeconduct,shehasshownherselftobeequallyabovetemptationandart;and,Ihadalmostsaid,humanfrailty.

'Thestepshesofreelyblamesherselffortaking,wastrulywhatshecallscompulsatory:forthoughshewasprovokedtothinkofgoingoffwithme,sheintendeditnot,norwasprovidedtodoso:neitherwouldsheeverhavehadthethoughtofit,hadherrelationsleftherfree,uponherofferedcompositiontorenouncethemanshedidnothate,inordertoavoidthemanshedid.

'Itpiquedmypride,Iown,thatIcouldsolittledependupontheforceofthoseimpressionswhichIhadthevanitytohopeIhadmadeinaheartsodelicate;and,inmyworstdevicesagainsther,IencouragedmyselfthatIabusednoconfidence;fornonehadsheinmyhonour.

'Theevilsshehassuffered,itwouldhavebeenmorethanamiraclehadsheavoided.Herwatchfulnessrenderedmoreplotsabortivethanthosewhichcontributedtoherfall;andtheyweremanyandvarious.Andallhergreatertrialsandhardshipswereowingtohernobleresistanceandjustresentment.

'Iknow,proceededI,howmuchIcondemnmyselfinthejusticeIamdoingtothisexcellentcreature.ButyetIwilldoherjustice,andcannot

helpitifIwould.AndIhopethisshowsthatIamnotsototallyabandonedasIhavebeenthoughttobe.

'Indeed,withme,shehasdonemorehonourtohersexinherfall,ifitbetobecalledafall,(intruthitoughtnot,)thaneveranyothercoulddoinherstanding.

'When,atlength,Ihadgivenherwatchfulvirtuecauseofsuspicion,Iwasthenindeedobligedtomakeuseofpowerandarttopreventherescapingfromme.Shethenformedcontrivancestoeludemine;butallher'sweresuchasstricttruthandpunctilioushonourwouldjustify.Shecouldnotstooptodeceitandfalsehood,no,nottosaveherself.Morethanoncejustlydidshetellme,firedbyconsciousworthiness,

thathersoulwasmysoul'ssuperior!--Forgiveme,Ladies,forsaying,thattillIknewher,Iquestionedasoulinasex,created,asIwaswillingtosuppose,onlyfortemporarypurposes.--Itisnottobeimaginedintowhatabsurditiesmenoffreeprincipleruninordertojustifytothemselvestheirfreepractices;andtomakeareligiontotheirminds:andyet,inthisrespect,Ihavenotbeensofaultyassomeothers.

'Nowonderthatsuchanoblecreatureasthislookeduponeverystudiedartificeasadegreeofbasenessnottobeforgiven:nowonderthatshe



couldsoeasilybecomeaversetotheman(thoughonceshebeheldhimwithaneyenotwhollyindifferent)whomshethoughtcapableofpremeditatedguilt.Nor,givemeleave,ontheotherhand,tosay,isittobewonderedat,thatthemanwhofounditsodifficulttobeforgivenfortheslighteroffences,andwhohadnotthegracetorecedeorrepent,(madedesperate,)shouldbehurriedontothecommissionofthegreater.

'Inshort,Ladies,inaword,myLord,MissClarissaHarloweisanangel;ifevertherewasorcouldbeoneinhumannature:andis,andeverwas,aspureasanangelinherwill:andthisjusticeImustdoher,althoughthequestion,Iseebyeveryglisteningeye,isreadytobeasked,Whatthen,Lovelace,artthou?'--

LordM.Adevil!--ad----ddevil!Imustanswer.AndmaythecurseofGodfollowyouinallyouundertake,ifyoudonotmakeherthebestamendsnowinyourpowertomakeher!

Lovel.Fromyou,myLord,Icouldexpectnoother:butfromtheLadiesIhopeforlessviolencefromtheingenuousnessofmyconfession.

TheLadies,elderandyounger,hadtheirhandkerchiefstotheireyes,atthejusttestimonywhichIboretothemeritsofthisexaltedcreature;andwhichIwouldmakenoscrupletobearatthebarofacourtofjustice,wereItobecalledtoit.

LadyBetty.Well,Sir,thisisanoblecharacter.Ifyouthinkasyouspeak,surelyyoucannotrefusetodotheladyallthejusticenowinyourpowertodoher.

Theyalljoinedinthisdemand.

Ipleaded,thatIwassureshewouldnothaveme:that,whenshehadtakenaresolution,shewasnottobemoved.UnpersuadablenesswasanHarlowesin:that,andhername,Itoldthem,wereallshehadoftheirs.

Allwereofopinion,thatshemight,inherpresentdesolatecircumstances,bebroughttoforgiveme.LadySarahsaid,thatLady

Bettyandshewouldendeavourtofindoutthenoblesufferer,astheyjustlycalledher;andwouldtakeherintotheirprotection,andbeguaranteesofthejusticethatIwoulddoher;aswellaftermarriageasbefore.

Itwassomepleasuretome,toobservetheplacabilityoftheseladiesofmyownfamily,hadthey,anyoreitherofthem,metwithaLOVELACE.But'twouldbeharduponushonestfellows,Jack,ifallwomenwereCLARISSAS.

HereIamobligedtobreakoff.

LETTERVII

MR.LOVELACE[INCONTINUATION.]

Itismuchbetter,Jack,totellyourownstory,whenitmustbeknown,thantohaveanadversarytellitforyou.Consciousofthis,IgavethemaparticularaccounthowurgentIhadbeenwithhertofixuponthe



ThursdayafterIlefther(itbeingheruncleHarlowe'sanniversarybirth-day,andnamedtoobligeher)fortheprivatecelebration;havingsomedaysbeforeactuallyprocuredalicense,whichstillremainedwithher.

That,notbeingabletoprevailuponhertopromiseanything,whileunderasupposedrestraint!Iofferedtoleaveheratfullliberty,ifshewouldgivemetheleasthopeforthatday.Butneitherdidthisofferavailme.

Thatthisinflexiblenessmakingmedesperate,Iresolvedtoaddtomyformerfault,bygivingdirectionsthatsheshouldnoteithergoorcorrespondoutofthehouse,tillIreturnedfromM.Hall;wellknowing,thatifshewereatfullliberty,Imustforeverloseher.

Thatthisconstrainthadsomuchincensedher,thatalthoughIwrotenolessthanfourdifferentletters,Icouldnotprocureasinglewordinanswer;thoughIpressedherbutforfourwordstosignifythedayandthechurch.

IreferredtomytwocousinstovouchformetheextraordinarymethodsItooktosendmessengerstotown,thoughtheyknewnottheoccasion;whichnowItoldthemwasthis.

Iacquaintedthem,thatIevenhadwrotetoyou,Jack,andtoanothergentlemanofwhomIthoughtshehadagoodopinion,toattendher,inordertopressforhercompliance;holdingmyselfinreadinessthelastday,atSalt-hill,tomeetthemessengertheyshouldsend,andproceedtoLondon,ifhismessagewerefavourable.Butthat,beforetheycouldattendher,shehadfoundmeanstoflyawayoncemore:andisnow,saidI,perchedperhapssomewhereunderLadyBetty'swindowatGlenham-hall;andthere,likethesweetPhilomela,athorninherbreast,warblesforthhermelancholycomplaintsagainstherbarbarousTereus.

LadyBettydeclaredthatshewasnotwithher;nordidsheknowwhereshewas.Sheshouldbe,sheadded,themostwelcomeguesttoherthatsheeverreceived.

Intruth,Ihadasuspicionthatshewasalreadyintheirknowledge,andtakenintotheirprotection;forLadySarahIimaginedincapableofbeingrousedtothisspiritbyaletteronlyfromMissHarlowe,andthatnotdirectedtoherself;shebeingaveryindolentandmelancholywoman.Buthersister,Ifindhadwroughtheruptoit:forLadyBettyisasofficiousandmanagingawomanasMrs.Howe;butofamuchmoregenerousandnobledisposition--sheismyaunt,Jack.

Isupposed,Isaid,thatherLadyshipmighthaveaprivatedirectionwheretosendtoher.IspokeasIwished:Iwouldhavegiventheworldtohaveheardthatshewasinclinedtocultivatetheinterestofanyofmyfamily.

LadyBettyansweredthatshehadnodirectionbutwhatwasintheletter;whichshehadscratchedout,andwhich,itwasprobable,wasonlyatemporaryone,inordertoavoidme:otherwiseshewouldhardlyhavedirectedananswertobeleftataninn.Andshewasofopinion,thattoapplytoMissHowewouldbetheonlycertainwaytosucceedinanyapplicationforforgiveness,wouldIenablethatyoungladytointerestherselfinprocuringit.

MissCharlotte.Permitmetomakeaproposal.----Sinceweareallof



onemind,inrelationtothejusticeduetoMissHarlowe,ifMr.Lovelacewillobligehimselftomarryher,IwillmakeMissHoweavisit,littleasIamacquaintedwithher;andendeavourtoengageherinteresttoforwardthedesiredreconciliation.Andifthiscanbedone,Imakenoquestionbutallmaybehappilyaccommodated;foreverybodyknowsthelovethereisbetweenMissHarloweandMissHowe.

MARRIAGE,withthesewomen,thouseest,Jack,isanatonementforallwecandotothem.Atruedramaticrecompense!

Thismotionwashighlyapprovedof;andIgavemyhonour,asdesired,inthefullestmannertheycouldwish.

LadySarah.Wellthen,CousinCharlotte,beginyourtreatywithMissHowe,outofhand.

LadyBetty.Praydo.AndletMissHarlowebetold,thatIamreadytoreceiveherasthemostwelcomeofguests:andIwillnothaveheroutofmysighttilltheknotistied.

LadySarah.Tellherfromme,thatsheshallbemydaughter,insteadofmypoorBetsey!----Andshedatearinremembranceofherlostdaughter.

LordM.Whatsayyou,Sir,tothis?

Lovel.CONTENT,myLord,Ispeakinthelanguageofyourhouse.

LordM.Wearenottobefooled,Nephew.Noquibbling.Wewillhavenoslurputuponus.

Lovel.Youshallnot.Andyet,Ididnotintendtomarry,ifsheexceededtheappointedThursday.But,Ithink(accordingtoherownnotions)thatIhaveinjuredherbeyondreparation,althoughIweretomakeherthebestofhusbands;asIamresolvedtobe,ifshewillcondescend,asIwillcallit,tohaveme.Andbethis,CousinCharlotte,mypartofyourcommissiontosay.

Thispleasedthemall.

LordM.Givemethyhand,Bob!--Thoutalkestlikeamanofhonouratlast.Ihopewemaydependuponwhatthousayest!

TheLadieseyesputthesamequestiontome.

Lovel.Youmay,myLord--Youmay,Ladies--absolutelyyoumay.

Thenwasthepersonalcharacterofthelady,aswellashermoreextraordinarytalentsandendowmentsagainexpatiatedupon:andMissPatty,whohadonceseenher,launchedoutmorethanalltherestinherpraise.Thesewerefollowedbysuchinquiriesasareneverforgottento

bemadeinmarriage-treaties,andwhichgenerallyaretheprincipalmotiveswiththesagesofafamily,thoughtheleasttobementionedbythepartiesthemselves,andyetevenbythem,perhaps,thefirstthoughtof:thatistosay,inquisitionintothelady'sfortune;intotheparticularsofthegrandfather'sestate;andwhatherfather,andhersingle-souleduncles,willprobablydoforher,ifareconciliationbeeffected;as,bytheirmeans,theymakenodoubtbutitwillbebetweenbothfamilies,ifitbenotmyfault.Thetwovenerables[nolongertabbieswithmenow]hintedatrichpresentsontheirownparts;andmyLorddeclaredthathewouldmakesuchoverturesinmybehalf,asshould



rendermymarriagewithMissHarlowethebestday'sworkIevermade;andwhat,hedoubtednot,wouldbeasagreeabletothatfamilyastomyself.

Thus,atpresent,byasinglehair,hangsovermyheadthematrimonialsword.Andthusendedmytrial.Andthusareweallfriends,andCousinandCousin,andNephewandNephew,ateveryword.

Didevercomedyendmorehappilythanthislongtrial?

LETTERVIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.WEDN.JULY12.

So,Jack,theythinktheyhavegainedamightypoint.But,wereItochangemymind,wereItorepent,IfancyIamsafe.--Andyetthisverymomentitrisestomymind,that'tishardtrustingtoo;forsurelytheremustbesomeembers,wheretherewasfiresolately,thatmaybestirreduptogiveablazetocombustiblesstrewedlightlyuponthem.Love,likesomeself-propagatingplants,orroots,(whichhavetakenstrongholdin

theearth)whenoncegotdeepintotheheart,ishardlyevertotallyextirpated,exceptbymatrimonyindeed,whichisthegraveoflove,becauseitallowsoftheendoflove.Thentheseladies,alladvocatesforherself,withherself,MissHoweattheirhead,perhaps,----notinfavourtome--Idon'texpectthatfromMissHowe--butperhapsinfavourtoherself:forMissHowehasreasontoapprehendvengeancefromme,Iween.HerHickmanwillbesafetoo,asshemaythink,ifImarryherbelovedfriend:forhehasbeenabusyfellow,andIhavelongwishedtohaveaslapathim!--Thelady'scasedesperatewithherfriendstoo;andlikelytobeso,whilesingle,andhercharacterexposedtocensure.

Ahusbandisacharmingcloke,afig-leavedapronforawife:andforaladytobeprotectedinliberties,indiversions,whichherheartpants

after--andallherfaults,eventhemostcriminal,wereshetobedetected,tobethrownuponthehusband,andtheridiculetoo;acharmingprivilegeforawife!

ButIshallhaveonecomfort,ifImarry,whichpleasesmenotalittle.Ifaman'swifehasadearfriendofhersex,ahundredlibertiesmaybetakenwiththatfriend,whichcouldnotbetaken,ifthesinglelady(knowingwhatatitletofreedomsmarriagehadgivenhimwithherfriend)wasnotlessscrupulouswithhimthansheoughttobeastoherself.Thentherearebroadfreedoms(shallIcallthem?)thatmaybetakenbythehusbandwithhiswife,thatmaynotbequiteshocking,which,ifthewifebearsbeforeherfriends,willserveforalessontothatfriend;andifthatfriendbearstobepresentatthemwithoutcheckor

bashfulness,willshowasagaciousfellowthatshecanbearasmuchherself,atpropertimeandplace.

Chastity,Jack,likepiety,isanuniformthing.Ifinlook,ifinspeech,agirlgivewaytounduelevity,dependuponitthedevilhasgotoneofhisclovenfeetinherheartalready--so,Hickman,takecareofthyself,Iadvisethee,whetherImarryornot.

Thus,Jack,haveIatoncereconciledmyselftoallmyrelations--andiftheladyrefusesme,thrownthefaultuponher.This,Iknew,wouldbe



inmypowertodoatanytime:andIwasthemorearroganttothem,inordertoheightenthemeritofmycompliance.

But,afterall,itwouldbeverywhimsical,woulditnot,ifallmyplotsandcontrivancesshouldendinwedlock?Whatapunishmentshouldthiscomeouttobe,uponmyselftoo,thatallthiswhileIhavebeenplunderingmyowntreasury?

Andthen,cantherebesomuchharmdone,ifitcanbesoeasilyrepairedbyafewmagicalwords;asIRoberttakethee,Clarissa;andIClarissatakethee,Robert,withtherestofthefor-betterandfor-worselegerdemain,whichwillhocuspocusallthewrongs,thecryingwrongs,thatIhavedonetoMissHarlowe,intoactsofkindnessandbenevolencetoMrs.Lovelace?

But,Jack,twothingsImustinsistuponwiththee,ifthisistobethecase.--Havingputsecretsofsohighanaturebetweenmeandmyspouseintothypower,Imust,formyownhonour,andforthehonourofmywifeandillustriousprogeny,firstobligetheetogiveupthelettersIhavesoprofuselyscribbledtothee;andinthenextplace,dobythee,asIhaveheadwhisperedinFrancewasdonebythetruefatherofacertainmonarque;thatistosay,cutthythroat,topreventthytellingoftales.

Ihavefoundmeanstoheightenthekindopinionmyfriendsherehavebeguntohaveofme,bycommunicatingtothemthecontentsofthefourlastletterswhichIwrotetopressmyelectedspousetosolemnize.MyLordrepeatedoneofhisphrasesinmyfavour,thathehopesitwillcomeout,thatthedevilisnotquitesoblackasheispainted.

Nowpr'ythee,dearJack,sincesomanygoodconsequencesaretoflowfromtheseournuptials,(oneofwhichtothyself;sincethesoonerthoudiest,thelessthouwilthavetoanswerfor);andthatInow-and-thenamapttobelievetheremaybesomethingintheoldfellow'snotion,whooncetoldus,thathewhokillsaman,hasallthatman'ssinstoanswerfor,aswellashisown,becausehegavehimnotthetimetorepentofthemthatHeavendesignedtoallowhim,[afinethingforthee,ifthou

consentesttobeknockedofthehead;butacursedoneforthemanslayer!]andsincetheremayberoomtofearthatMissHowewillnotgiveusherhelp;Ipr'ytheenowexertthyselftofindoutmyClarissaHarlowe,thatImaymakeaLOVELACEofher.Setallthecitybellmen,andthecountrycriers,fortenmilesroundthemetropolis,atwork,withtheir'Oye's!andifanyman,woman,orchildcangivetaleortidings.'--Advertiseherinallthenews-papers;andletherknow,'ThatifshewillrepairtoLadyBettyLawrance,ortoMissCharlotteMontague,shemayhearofsomethinggreatlytoheradvantage.'

***

MytwocousinsMontagueareactuallytosetoutto-morrowtoMrs.Howe's,toengagehervixendaughter'sinterestwithherfriend.Theywillflauntitawayinachariot-and-six,forthegreaterstateandsignificance.

Confoundedmortificationtobereducedthislow!--Mypridehardlyknowshowtobrookit.

LordM.hasengagedthetwovenerablestostayheretoattendtheissue:



andI,standingveryhighatpresentintheirgoodgraces,amtogallantthemtoOxford,toBlenheim,andtoseveralotherplaces.

LETTERIX

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYNIGHT,JULY13.

Collinssetsnotoutto-morrow.Somedomesticoccasionhindershim.Rogersisbutnowreturnedfromyou,andcannotbewellspared.Mr.Hickmanisgoneuponanaffairofmymother's,andhastakenbothhisservantswithhim,todocredittohisemployer:soIamforcedtoventurethisbypost,directedbyyourassumedname.

Iamtoacquaintyou,thatIhavebeenfavouredwithavisitfromMissMontagueandhersister,inLordM.'schariot-and-six.MyLord'sgentlemanrodehereyesterday,witharequestthatIwouldreceiveavisitfromthetwoyoungladies,onaveryparticularoccasion;thegreaterfavourifitmightbethenextday.

AsIhadsolittlepersonalknowledgeofeither,Idoubtednotbutit

mustbeinrelationtotheinterestsofmydearfriend;andsoconsultingwithmymother,Isentthemaninvitationtofavourme(becauseofthedistance)withtheircompanyatdinner;whichtheykindlyaccepted.

Ihope,mydear,sincethingshavebeensoverybad,thattheirerrandtomewillbeasagreeabletoyou,asanythingthatcannowhappen.TheycameinthenameofLordM.andLadySarahandLadyBettyhistwosisters,todesiremyinteresttoengageyoutoputyourselfintotheprotectionofLadyBetty;whowillnotpartwithyoutillsheseesallthejusticedoneyouthatnowcanbedone.

LadySarahhadnotstirredoutforatwelve-monthbefore;neversinceshelostheragreeabledaughterwhomyouandIsawatMrs.Benson's:butwas

inducedtotakethisjourneybyLadyBetty,purelytoprocureyoureparation,ifpossible.Andtheirjointstrength,unitedwithLordM.'s,hassofarsucceeded,thatthewretchhasboundhimselftothem,andtotheseyoungladies,inthesolemnestmanner,towedyouintheirpresence,iftheycanprevailuponyoutogivehimyourhand.

Thisconsolationyoumaytaketoyourself,thatallthishonourablefamilyhaveadue(thatis,thehighest)senseofyourmerit,andgreatlyadmireyou.Thehorridcreaturehasnotsparedhimselfindoingjusticetoyourvirtue;andtheyoungladiesgaveussuchanaccountofhisconfessions,andself-condemnation,thatmymotherwasquitecharmedwithyou;andweallfourshedtearsofjoy,thatthereisoneofoursex[I,thatthatoneismydearestfriend,]whohasdonesomuchhonourtoit,

astodeservetheexaltedpraisesgivenyoubyawretchsoself-conceited;thoughpityfortheexcellentcreaturemixedwithourjoy.

Hepromisesbythemtomakethebestofhusbands;andmyLord,andLadySarah,andLadyBetty,areallthreetobeguaranteesthathewillbeso.Noblesettlements,noblepresents,theytalkedof:theysay,theyleftLordM.andhistwosisterstalkingofnothingelsebutofthosepresentsandsettlements,howmosttodoyouhonour,thegreaterinproportionfortheindignitiesyouhavesuffered;andofchangingofnamesbyactof



parliament,preparativetotheinteresttheywillalljointomaketogetthetitlestogowherethebulkoftheestatemustgo,atmyLord'sdeath,whichtheyapprehendtobenearerthantheywish.Nordoubttheyofathoroughreformationinhismorals,fromyourexampleandinfluenceoverhim.

Imadeagreatmanyobjectionsforyou--all,Ibelieve,thatyoucouldhavemadeyourself,hadyoubeenpresent.ButIhavenodoubttoadviseyou,mydear,(andsodoesmymother,)instantlytoputyourselfintoLadyBetty'sprotection,witharesolutiontotakethewretchforyourhusband.Allhisfuturegrandeur[hewantsnotpride]dependsuponhissinceritytoyou;andtheyoungladiesvouchforthedepthofhisconcernforthewrongshehasdoneyou.

Allhisapprehensionis,inyourreadinesstocommunicatetoeveryone,ashefears,theevilsyouhavesuffered;whichhethinkswillexposeyouboth.ButhadyounotrevealedthemtoLadyBetty,youhadnothadsowarmafriend;sinceitisowingtotwolettersyouwrotetoher,thatallthisgood,asIhopeitwillprove,wasbroughtabout.ButIadviseyoutobemoresparinginexposingwhatispast,whetheryouhavethoughtsofacceptinghimornot:forwhat,mydear,canthatavailnow,buttogiveahandletovilewretchestotriumphoveryourfriends;sinceeveryonewillnotknowhowmuchtoyourhonouryourverysufferingshavebeen?

YourmelancholyletterbroughtbyRogers,*withhisaccountofyourindifferenthealth,confirmedtohimbythewomanofthehouse,aswellasbyyourlooksandbyyourfaintnesswhileyoutalkedwithhim,wouldhavegivenmeinexpressibleaffliction,hadInotbeecheeredbythisagreeablevisitfromtheyoungladies.Ihopeyouwillbeequallysoonmyimpartingthesubjectofittoyou.

*SeeLetterII.ofthisvolume.

Indeed,mydear,youmustnothesitate.Youmustobligethem.The

allianceissplendidandhonourable.Veryfewwillknowanythingofhisbrutalbasenesstoyou.Allmustend,inalittlewhile,inageneralreconciliation;andyouwillbeabletoresumeyourcourseofdoingthegoodtoeverydeservingobject,whichprocuredyoublessingswhereveryousetyourfoot.

Iamconcernedtofind,thatyourfather'sinhumancurseaffectsyousomuchasitdoes.Yetyouareanoblecreaturetoputit,asyouputit--Ihopeyouareindeedmoresolicitoustogetitrevokedfortheirsakesthanforyourown.Itisforthemtobepenitent,whohurriedyouintoevilsyoucouldnotwellavoid.Youareapttojudgebytheunhappyevent,ratherthanuponthetruemeritsofyourcase.Uponmyhonour,Ithinkyoufaultlessalmostineverystepyouhavetaken.Whathasnot

thatvilely-insolentandambitious,yetstupid,brotherofyour'stoanswerfor?--thatspitefulthingyoursistertoo!

Butcome,sincewhatispastcannotbehelped,letuslookforward.Youhavenowhappyprospectsopeningtoyou:afamily,alreadynoble,preparedtoreceiveyouwithopenarmsandjoyfulheart;andwho,bytheirlovetoyou,willteachanotherfamily(whoknownotwhatanexcellencetheyhaveconfederatedtopersecute)howtovalueyou.Yourprudence,yourpiety,willcrownall.Youwillreclaimawretchthat,foranhundredsakesmorethanforhisown,onewouldwishtobe



reclaimed.

Likeatraveller,whohasbeenputoutofhisway,bytheoverflowingofsomerapidstream,youhaveonlyhadthefore-rightpathyouwereinoverwhelmed.Afewmilesabout,adayortwoonlylost,asImaysay,andyouareinawaytorecoverit;and,byquickeningyourspeed,willgetupthelosttime.Thehurryuponyourspirits,meantime,willbeallyourinconvenience;foritwasnotyourfaultyouwerestoppedinyourprogress.

Thinkofthis,mydear;andimproveupontheallegory,asyouknowhow.Ifyoucan,withoutimpedingyourprogress,bethemeansofassuagingtheinundation,ofboundingthewaterswithintheirnaturalchannel,andtherebyofrecoveringtheoverwhelmedpathforthesakeoffuturepassengerswhotravelthesameway,whatameritwillyour'sbe!

Ishallimpatientlyexpectyournextletter.Theyoungladiesproposedthatyoushouldputyourself,ifintown,ornearit,intotheReadingstage-coach,whichinnssomewhereinFleet-street:and,ifyougivenoticeoftheday,youwillbemetontheroad,andthatprettyearlyinyourjourney,bysomeofbothsexes;oneofwhomyouwon'tbesorrytosee.

Mr.HickmanshallattendyouatSlough;andLadyBettyherself,andone

oftheMissMontagues,withproperequipages,willbeatReadingtoreceiveyou;andcarryyoudirectlytotheseatoftheformer:forIhaveexpresslystipulated,thatthewretchhimselfshallnotcomeintoyourpresencetillyournuptialsaretobesolemnized,unlessyougiveleave.

Adieu,mydearestfriend.Behappy:andhundredswillthenbehappyofconsequence.Inexpressiblyso,Iamsure,willthenbe

YoureveraffectionateANNAHOWE.

LETTERX

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWESUNDAYNIGHT,JULY16.

MYDEARESTFRIEND,

Whyshouldyoupermitamind,somuchdevotedtoyourservice,tolabourundersuchanimpatienceasyoumustknowitwouldlabourunder,forwantofananswertoaletterofsuchconsequencetoyou,andthereforetome,aswasmineofThursdaynight?--Rogerstoldme,onThursday,youweresoill;yourlettersentbyhimwassomelancholy!--Yetyoumustbeill

indeed,ifyoucouldnotwritesomethingtosuchaletter;wereitbutaline,tosayyouwouldwriteassoonasyoucould.Sureyouhavereceivedit.Themasterofyournearestpost-officewillpawnhisreputationthatitwentsafe:Igavehimparticularchargeofit.

Godsendmegoodnewsofyourhealth,ofyourabilitytowrite;andthenIwillchideyou--indeedIwill--asIneveryetdidchideyou.

Isupposeyourexcusewillbe,thatthesubjectrequiredconsideration--Lord!mydear,soitmight;butyouhavesorightamind,andthematter



inquestionissoobvious,thatyoucouldnotwanthalfanhourtodetermine.--Thenyouintended,probably,towaitCollins'scallforyourletterasonto-morrow!--Supposesomethingweretohappen,asitdidonFriday,thatheshouldnotbeabletogototownto-morrow?--How,child,couldyouservemeso!--Iknownothowtoleaveoffscoldingyou!

Dear,honestCollins,makehaste:hewill:hewill.Hesetsout,andtravelsallnight:forIhavetoldhim,thatthedearestfriendIhaveintheworldhasitinherownchoicetobehappy,andtomakemeso;andthattheletterhewillbringfromherwillassureittome.

Ihaveorderedhimtogodirectly(withoutstoppingattheSaracen's-head-inn)toyouatyourlodgings.Mattersarenowinsogoodaway,thathesafelymay.

YourexpectedletterisreadywrittenIhope:ifitcanbenot,hewillcallforitatyourhour.

Youcan'tbesohappyasyoudeservetobe:butIdoubtnotthatyouwillbeashappyasyoucan;thatis,thatyouwillchoosetoputyourselfinstantlyintoLadyBetty'sprotection.Ifyouwouldnothavethewretchforyourownsake;havehimyoumust,formine,foryourfamily's,foryourhonour's,sake!--Dear,honestCollins,makehaste!makehaste!andrelievetheimpatientheartofmybeloved's

Everfaithful,everaffectionate,ANNAHOWE.

LETTERXI

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCHARLOTTEMONTAGUETUESDAYMORN.JULY18.

MADAM,

Itakethelibertytowritetoyou,bythisspecialmessenger.InthephrensyofmysoulIwritetoyou,todemandofyou,andofanyofyourfamilywhocantellnewsofmybelovedfriend,who,Idoubt,hasbeenspiritedawaybythebaseartsofoneoftheblackest--Ohelpmetoanameblackenoughtocallhimby!Herpietyisproofagainstself-attempts.Itmust,itmustbehe,theonlywretch,whocouldinjuresuchaninnocent;andnow--whoknowswhathehasdonewithher!

IfIhavepatience,Iwillgiveyoutheoccasionofthisdistractedvehemence.

Iwrotetohertheverymomentyouandyoursisterleftme.Butbeing

unabletoprocureaspecialmessenger,asIintended,wasforcedtosendbythepost.Iurgedher,[youknowIpromisedthatIwould:Iurgedher,]withearnestness,tocomplywiththedesiresofallyourfamily.Havingnoanswer,IwroteagainonSundaynight;andsentitbyaparticularhand,whotravelledallnight;chidingherforkeepingaheartsoimpatientasmineinsuchcruelsuspense,uponamatterofsomuchimportancetoher,andthereforetome.AndveryangryIwaswithherinmymind.

But,judgemyastonishment,mydistraction,whenlastnight,the



messenger,returningpost-haste,broughtmeword,thatshehadnotbeenheardofsinceFridaymorning!andthataletterlayforheratherlodgings,whichcamebythepost;andmustbemine!

Shewentoutaboutsixthatmorning;onlyintending,astheybelieve,togotomorning-prayersatCovent-Gardenchurch,justbyherlodgings,asshehaddonediverstimesbefore--Wentonfoot!--Leftwordsheshouldbebackinanhour!--Verypoorlyinhealth!

Lord,havemercyuponme!WhatshallIdo!--Iwasadistractedcreaturealllastnight!

OMadam!youknownothowIloveher!--Myownsoulisnotdearertome,thanmyClarissaHarlowe!--Nay!sheismysoul--forInowhavenone--onlyamiserableone,however--forshewasthejoy,thestay,thepropofmylife.Neverwomanlovedwomanasweloveoneanother.Itisimpossibletotellyouhalfherexcellencies.Itwasmygloryandmypride,thatIwascapableofsoferventaloveofsopureandmatchlessacreature.--Butnow--whoknows,whetherthedearinjuredhasnotallherwoes,herundeservedwoes,completedindeath;orisnotreservedforaworsefate!--ThisIleavetoyourinquiry--for--your--[shallIcalltheman----your?]relationIunderstandisstillwithyou.

Surely,mygoodLadies,youwerewellauthorizedintheproposalsyou

madeinpresenceofmymother!--Surelyhedarenotabuseyourconfidence,andtheconfidenceofyournoblerelations!Imakenoapologyforgivingyouthistrouble,norfordesiringyoutofavourwithaline,bythismessenger,

YouralmostdistractedANNAHOWE.

LETTERXII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.

M.HALL,SAT.NIGHT,JUNE15.

Allundone,undone,byJupiter!--Zounds,Jack,whatshallIdonow!acurseuponallmyplotsandcontrivances!--ButIhaveit----intheveryheartandsoulofmeIhaveit!

Thoutoldestme,thatmypunishmentswerebutbeginning--Canstthou,Ofatalprognosticator,cansthoutellme,wheretheywillend?

ThyassistanceIbespeak.Themomentthoureceivestthis,Ibespeakthyassistance.Thismessengerridesforlifeanddeath--andIhopehe'llfindyouatyourtown-lodgings;ifhemeetnotwithyouatEdgware;

where,beingSunday,hewillcallfirst.

Thiscursed,cursedwoman,onFridaydispatchedmanandhorsewiththejoyfulnews(asshethoughtitwouldbetome)inanexultingletterfromSallyMartin,thatshehadfoundoutmyangelasonWednesdaylast;andonFridaymorning,aftershehadbeenatprayersatCovent-Gardenchurch--prayingformyreformationperhaps--gotherarrestedbytwosheriff'sofficers,asshewasreturningtoherlodgings,who(villains!)putherintoachairtheyhadinreadiness,andcarriedhertooneofthecursedfellow'shouses.



Shehasarrestedherfor150Â£.pretendedlydueforboardandlodging:asum(besidesthelowvillanyoftheproceeding)whichthedearsoulcouldnotpossiblyraise:allherclothesandeffects,exceptwhatshehadonandwithherwhenshewentaway,beingattheolddevil's.

Andhere,foranaggravation,hasthedearcreaturelainalreadytwodays;forImustbegallantingmytwoauntsandmytwocousins,andgivingLordM.anairingafterhislying-in--poxuponthewholefamilyofus!andreturnednottillwithinthishour:andnowreturnedtomydistraction,onreceivingthecursedtidings,andtheexultingletter.

Hasten,hasten,dearJack;fortheloveofGod,hastentotheinjuredcharmer!myheartbleedsforher!--shedeservednotthis!--Idarenotstir.Itwillbethoughtdonebymycontrivance--andifIamabsentfromthisplace,thatwillconfirmthesuspicion.

Damnationseizequickthisaccursedwoman!--Yetshethinksshehasmadenosmallmeritwithme.Unhappy,thriceunhappycircumstances!--Atatimetoo,whenbetterprospectswereopeningforthesweetcreature!

Hastentoher!--Clearmeofthiscursedjob.Mostsincerely,byallthat'ssacred,Iswearyoumay!----YethaveIbeensuchavillanousplotter,thatthecharmingsuffererwillhardlybelieveit:althoughthe

proceedingbesodirtilylow.Setherfreethemomentyouseeher:withoutconditioning,free!--Onyourknees,forme,begherpardon:andassureher,that,wherevershegoes,Iwillnotmolesther:no,norcomenearherwithoutherleave:andbesureallownotanyofthed----dcrewtogonearher--onlyletherpermityoutoreceivehercommandsfromtimetotime.--Youhavealwaysbeenherfriendandadvocate.WhatwouldInowgive,hadIpermittedyoutohavebeenasuccessfulone!

Letherhaveallherclothesandeffectssentherinstantly,asasmallproofofmysincerity.Andforceuponthedearcreature,whomustbemoneyless,whatsumsyoucangethertotake.Letmeknowhowshehas

beentreated.Ifroughly,woebetotheguilty!

Takethywatchinthyhand,afterthouhastfreedher,andd--nthewholebrood,dragonandserpents,bythehour,tillthou'rttired;andtellthem,Ibidtheedosofortheircursedofficiousness.

Theyhadnothingtodowhentheyhadfoundher,buttowaitmyordershowtoproceed.

Thegreatdevilflyawaywiththemall,onebyone,throughtheroofoftheirowncursedhouse,anddashthemtopiecesagainstthetopsofchimneysasheflies;andletthelesserdevilscollectthescatteredscraps,andbagthemup,inordertoputthemtogetheragainintheir

allottedplace,intheelementoffire,withcementsofmoltenlead.

Aline!aline!akingdomforaline!withtolerablenews,thefirstmomentthoucanstwrite!--Thisfellowwaitstobringit.

LETTERXIII

MISSCHARLOTTEMONTAGUE,TOMISSHOWE



M.HALL,TUESDAYAFTERNOON.

DEARMISSHOWE,

Yourletterhasinfinitelydisturbedusall.

ThiswretchedmanhasbeenhalfdistractedeversinceSaturdaynight.

Weknewnotwhatailedhim,tillyourletterwasbrought.

Vilewretch,asheis,heishoweverinnocentofthisnewevil.

Indeedheis,hemustbe;asIshallmoreatlargeacquaintyou.

Butwillnotnowdetainyourmessenger.

Onlytosatisfyyourjustimpatience,bytellingyou,thatthedearyoungladyissafe,andwehopewell.

Ahorridmistakeofhisgeneralordershassubjectedhertotheterroranddisgraceofanarrest.

PoordearMissHarlowe!--Hersufferingshaveendearedhertous,almost

asmuchasherexcellenciescanhaveendearedhertoyou.Butshemustnowbequiteatliberty.

Hehasbeenadistractedman,eversincethenewswasbroughthim;andweknewnotwhatailedhim.

ButthatIsaidbefore.

MyLordM.myladySarahSadleir,andmyLadyBettyLawrance,willallwritetoyouthisveryafternoon.

Andsowillthewretchhimself.

Andsenditbyaservantoftheirown,nottodetainyour's.

IknownotwhatIwrite.

Butyoushallhavealltheparticulars,just,andtrue,andfair,from

DearMadam,Yourmostfaithfulandobedientservant,CH.MONTAGUE.

LETTERXIV

MISSMONTAGUE,TOMISSHOWEM.HALL,JULY18.

DEARMADAM,

Inpursuanceofmypromise,Iwillminutelyinformyouofeverythingweknowrelatingtothisshockingtransaction.



WhenwereturnedfromyouonThursdaynight,andmadeourreportofthekindreceptionbothweandourmessagemetwith,inthatyouhadbeensogoodastopromisetouseyourinterestwithyourdearfriend,itputusallintosuchgoodhumourwithoneanother,andwithmycousinLovelace,thatweresolveduponalittletouroftwodays,theFridayandSaturday,inordertogiveanairingtomyLord,andLadySarah,bothhavingbeenlongconfined,onebyillness,theotherbymelancholy.MyLord,LadySarah,LadyBetty,andmyself,wereinthecoach;andallourtalkwasofdearMissHarlowe,andofourfuturehappinesswithher:Mr.Lovelaceandmysister(whoishisfavourite,asheisher's)wereinhisphaÃ«ton:and,wheneverwejoinedcompany,thatwasstillthesubject.

Astohim,nevermanpraisedwomanashedidher:Nevermangavegreaterhopes,andmadebetterresolutions.Heisnoneofthosethataregovernedbyinterest.Heistooproudforthat.Butmostsincerelydelightedwasheintalkingofher;andofhishopesofherreturningfavour.Hesaid,however,morethanonce,thathefearedshewouldnotforgivehim;for,fromhisheart,hemustsay,hedeservednotherforgiveness:andoftenandoften,thattherewasnotsuchawomanintheworld.

ThisImentiontoshowyou,Madam,thathecouldnotatthistimebeprivytosuchabarbarousanddisgracefultreatmentofher.

WereturnednottillSaturdaynight,allinasgoodhumourwithoneanotheraswewentout.Weneverhadsuchpleasureinhiscompanybefore.Ifhewouldbegood,andasheoughttobe,nomanwouldbebetterbelovedbyrelationsthanhe.Butneverwasthereagreateralterationinmanwhenhecamehome,andreceivedaletterfromamessenger,who,itseems,hadbeenflatteringhimselfinhopesofareward,andhadbeenwaitingforhisreturnfromthenightbefore.Insuchafury!--Themanfaredbutbadly.Heinstantlyshuthimselfuptowrite,andorderedmanandhorsetobereadytosetoutbeforeday-lightthenextmorning,tocarrythelettertoafriendinLondon.

Hewouldnotseeusallthatnight;neitherbreakfastnordinewithus

nextday.Heought,hesaid,nevertoseethelight;andbidmysister,whomhecalledaninnocent,(andwhowasverydesiroustoknowtheoccasionofallthis,)shunhim,saying,hewasawretch,andmadesobyhisowninventions,andtheconsequencesofthem.

Noneofuscouldgetoutofhimwhatsodisturbedhim.Weshouldtoosoonhear,hesaid,totheutterdissipationofallhishopes,andofallours.

Wecouldeasilysupposethatallwasnotrightwithregardtotheworthyyoungladyandhim.

Hewentouteachday;andsaidhewantedtorunawayfromhimself.

LateonMondaynighthereceivedaletterfromMr.Belford,hismostfavouredfriend,byhisownmessenger;whocamebackinafoam,manandhorse.Whateverwerethecontents,hewasnoteasier,butlikeamadmanrather:butstillwouldnotletusknowtheoccasion.Buttomysisterhesaid,nobody,mydearPatsey,whocanthinkbutofhalftheplaguesthatpursueanintriguingspirit,wouldeverquitthefore-rightpath.

Hewasoutwhenyourmessengercame:butsooncamein;andbadenoughwashisreceptionfromusall.Andhesaid,thathisowntormentswere



greaterthanours,thanMissHarlowe's,oryour's,Madam,allputtogether.Hewouldseeyourletter.Healwayscarrieseverythingbeforehim:andsaid,whenhehadreadit,thathethankedGod,hewasnotsuchavillain,asyou,withtoogreatanappearanceofreason,thoughthim.

Thus,then,heownedthemattertobe.

Hehadleftgeneralinstructionstothepeopleofthelodgingsthedearladywentfrom,tofindoutwhereshewasgoneto,ifpossible,thathemighthaveanopportunitytoimportunehertobehis,beforetheirdifferencewaspublic.Thewickedpeople(officiousatleast,ifnotwicked)discoveredwhereshewasonWednesday;and,forfearsheshouldremovebeforetheycouldhavehisorders,theyputherunderagentlerestraint,astheycallit;anddispatchedawayamessengertoacquainthimwithit;andtotakehisorders.

ThismessengerarrivedFridayafternoon;andstaidheretillwereturnedonSaturdaynight:--and,whenhereadtheletterhebrought--Ihavetoldyou,Madam,whatafuryhewasin.

Theletterheretiredtowrite,andwhichhedispatchedawaysoearlyonSundaymorning,wastoconjurehisfriend,Mr.Belford,onreceiptofit,toflytothelady,andsetherfree;andtoorderallherthingstobe

senttoher;andtoclearhimofsoblackandvillanousafact,ashejustlycalledit.

Andbythistimehedoubtsnotthatallishappilyover;andthebelovedofhissoul(ashecallsherateverword)inaneasierandhappierwaythanshewasbeforethehorridfact.AndnowheownsthatthereasonwhyMr.Belford'slettersethimintostrongerravingswas,becauseofhiskeepinghimwilfully(andonpurposetotormenthim)insuspense;andreflectingveryheavilyuponhim,(forMr.Belford,hesays,waseverthelady'sfriendandadvocate);andonlymentioning,thathehadwaiteduponher;referringtohisnextforfurtherparticulars;whichMr.Belfordcouldhavetoldhimatthetime.

Hedeclares,andwecanvouchforhim,thathehasbeen,eversincelastSaturdaynight,themostmiserableofmen.

Heforboregoinguphimself,thatitmightnotbeimaginedhewasguiltyofsoblackacontrivance;andthathewentuptocompleteanybaseviewsinconsequenceofit.

Believeusall,dearMissHowe,underthedeepestconcernatthisunhappyaccident;whichwill,wefear,exasperatethecharmingsufferer;nottoomuchfortheoccasion,buttoomuchforourhopes.

Owhatwretchesarethesefree-livingmen,wholovetotreadinintricatepaths;and,whenoncetheyerr,knownothowfaroutofthewaytheir

headstrongcoursemayleadthem!

Mysisterjoinsherthankswithminetoyourgoodmotherandself,forthefavoursyouheapeduponuslastThursday.Webeseechyourcontinuedinterestastothesubjectofourvisit.Itshallbeallourstudiestoobligeandrecompensethedearladytotheutmostofourpower,andforwhatshehassufferedfromtheunhappyman.

Weare,dearMadam,Yourobligedandfaithfulservants,



CHARLOTTE|MONTAGUE.MARTHA|

***

DEARMISSHOWE,

WejoinintheaboverequestofMissCharlotteandMissPattyMontague,foryourfavourandinterest;beingconvincedthattheaccidentwasanaccident,andnoplotorcontrivanceofawretchtoofullofthem.Weare,Madam,

Yourmostobedienthumbleservants,

M.SARAHSADLEIR.ELIZ.LAWRANCE.

***

DEARMISSHOWE,Afterwhatiswrittenabove,bynamesandcharactersofunquestionablehonour,Imighthavebeenexcusedsigninganamealmostashatefultomyself,asIKNOWitistoyou.Buttheabovewillhaveitso.Since,therefore,Imustwrite,itshallbethetruth;whichis,thatifImaybeoncemoreadmittedtopaymydutytothemostdeservingandmostinjuredofhersex,Iwillbecontenttodoitwithahalteraboutmyneck;and,attendedbyaparsononmyrighthand,andthehangmanonmyleft,bedoomed,atherwill,eithertothechurchorthegallows.

Yourmosthumbleservant,ROBERTLOVELACE.

TUESDAY,JULY18.

LETTERXV

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.SUNDAYNIGHT,JULY16.

Whatacursedpieceofworkhastthoumadeofit,withthemostexcellentofwomen!Thoumayestbeinearnest,orinjest,asthouwilt;butthe

poorladywillnotbelongeitherthysport,orthesportoffortune!

Iwillgivetheeanaccountofascenethatwantsbutheraffectingpentorepresentitjustly;anditwouldwringalltheblackbloodoutofthycallousheart.

Thouonly,whoarttheauthorofhercalamities,shouldsthaveattendedherinherprison.Iamunequaltosuchatask:norknowIanyothermanbutwould.



Thislastact,howeverunintendedbythee,yetaconsequenceofthygeneralorders,andtoolikelytobethoughtagreeabletothee,bythosewhoknowthyothervillaniesbyher,hasfinishedthybarbarouswork.AndIadvisetheetotrumpetfortheverywhere,howmuchinearnestthouarttomarryher,whethertrueornot.

Thoumayestsafelydoit.Shewillnotlivetoputtheetothetrial;anditwillalittlepalliateforthyenormoususageofher,andbeameantomakemankind,whoknownotwhatIknowofthematter,herdalittlelongerwiththee,andforbeartohunttheetothyfellow-savagesintheLybianwildsanddesarts.

YourmessengerfoundmeatEdgwareexpectingtodinnerwithmeseveralfriends,whomIhadinvitedthreedaysbefore.Isentapologiestothem,asinacaseoflifeanddeath;andspeededtotowntothewoman's:forhowknewIbutshockingattemptsmightbemadeuponherbythecursedwretches:perhapsbyyourconnivance,inordertomortifyherintoyourmeasures?

Littleknowsthepublicwhatvillaniesarecommittedbyvilewretches,intheseabominablehousesuponinnocentcreaturesdrawnintotheirsnares.

Findingtheladynotthere,Ipostedawaytotheofficer's,althoughSallytoldmethatshehadbutjustcomefromthence;andthatshehad

refusedtoseeher,or(asshesentdownword)anybodyelse;beingresolvedtohavetheremainderofthatSundaytoherself,asitmight,perhaps,bethelastsheshouldeversee.

Ihadthesamethingtoldme,whenIgotthither.

Isentuptoletherknow,thatIcamewithacommissiontosetheratliberty.Iwasafraidofsendingupthenameofamanknowntobeyourfriend.Sheabsolutelyrefusedtoseeanyman,however,forthatday,ortoanswerfurthertoanythingsaidfromme.

Havingthereforeinformedmyselfofallthattheofficer,andhiswife,andservant,couldacquaintmewith,aswellinrelationtothehorrid

arrest,astoherbehaviour,andthewomen'stoher;andherillstateofhealth;IwentbacktoSinclair's,asIwillstillcallher,andheardthethreewomen'sstory.FromallwhichIamenabledtogiveyouthefollowingshockingparticulars:whichmayservetillIcanseetheunhappyladyherselfto-morrow,ifthenIgainadmittancetoher.YouwillfindthatIhavebeenveryminuteinmyinquiries.

Yourvillainitwasthatsetthepoorlady,andhadtheimpudencetoappear,andabetthesheriff'sofficersinthecursedtransaction.Hethought,nodoubt,thathewasdoingthemostacceptableservicetohisblessedmaster.Theyhadgotachair;theheadreadyup,assoonasservicewasover.Andasshecameoutofthechurch,atthedoorfrontingBedford-street,theofficers,steppinguptoher,whisperedthat

theyhadanactionagainsther.

Shewasterrified,trembled,andturnedpale.

Action,saidshe!Whatisthat!----Ihavecommittednobadaction!----Lordblessme!men,whatmeanyou?

Thatyouareourprisoner,Madam.

Prisoner,Sirs!--What--How--Why--WhathaveIdone?



Youmustgowithus.Bepleased,Madam,tostepintothischair.

Withyou!--Withmen!Mustgowithmen!--Iamnotusedtogowithstrangemen!----Indeedyoumustexcuseme!

Wecan'texcuseyou.Wearesheriff'sofficers,Wehaveawritagainstyou.Youmustgowithus,andyoushallknowatwhosesuit.

Suit!saidthecharminginnocent;Idon'tknowwhatyoumean.Pray,men,don'tlayhandsuponme;(theyofferingtoputherintothechair.)Iamnotusedtobethustreated--Ihavedonenothingtodeserveit.

Shethenspiedthyvillain--Othouwretch,saidshe,whereisthyvilemaster?--AmIagaintobehisprisoner?Help,goodpeople!

Acrowdhadbeguntogather.

Mymasterisinthecountry,Madam,manymilesoff.Ifyoupleasetogowiththesemen,theywilltreatyoucivilly.

Thepeopleweremostofthemstruckwithcompassion.Afineyoungcreature!--Athousandpitiescriedsome.Whilesomefewthrewoutvileandshockingreflections!Butagentlemaninterposed,anddemandedto

seethefellow'sauthority.Theyshowedit.IsyournameClarissaHarlowe,Madam?saidhe.

Yes,yes,indeed,readytosink,mynamewasClarissaHarlowe:--butitisnowWretchedness!----Lordbemercifultome,whatistocomenext?

Youmustgowiththesemen,Madam,saidthegentleman:theyhaveauthorityforwhattheydo.

Hepitiedher,andretired.

Indeedyoumust,saidonechairman.

Indeedyoumust,saidtheother.

Cannobody,joinedinanothergentleman,beappliedto,whowillseethatsofineacreatureisnotillused?

Thyvillainanswered,ordersweregivenparticularlyforthat.Shehadrichrelations.Sheneedbutaskandhave.Shewouldonlybecarriedtotheofficer'shousetillmatterscouldbemadeup.Thepeopleshehadlodgedwithlovedher:--butshehadleftherlodgingsprivately.

Oh!hadshethosetricksalready?criedoneortwo.

Sheheardnotthis--butsaid--Well,ifImustgo,Imust--Icannotresist--butIwillnotbecarriedtothewoman's!Iwillratherdieatyourfeet,thanbecarriedtothewoman's.

Youwon'tbecarriedthere,Madam,criedthyfellow.

Onlytomyhouse,Madam,saidoneoftheofficers.

Whereisthat?



InHigh-Holborn,Madam.

IknownotwhereHigh-Holbornis:butanywhere,excepttothewoman's.----ButamItogowithmenonly?

Lookingabouther,andseeingthethreepassages,towit,thatleadingtoHenrietta-street,thattoKing-street,andthefore-rightone,toBedford-street,crowded,shestarted--Anywhere--anywhere,saidshe,buttothewoman's!Andsteppingintothechair,threwherselfontheseat,intheutmostdistressandconfusion--Carryme,carrymeoutofsight--coverme--covermeup--forever--wereherwords.

Thyvillaindrewthecurtain:shehadnotpower:andtheywentawaywithherthroughavastcrowdofpeople.

HereImustrest.Icanwritenomoreatpresent.

Only,Lovelace,remember,allthiswastoaClarissa.

***

Theunhappyladyfaintedawaywhenshewastakenoutofthechairatthe

officer'shouse.Severalpeoplefollowedthechairtotheveryhouse,whichisinawretchedcourt.Sallywasthere;andsatisfiedsomeoftheinquirers,thattheyounggentlewomanwouldbeexceedinglywellused:andtheysoondispersed.

Dorcaswasalsothere;butcamenotinhersight.Sally,asafavour,offeredtocarryhertoherformerlodgings:butshedeclaredtheyshouldcarryherthitheracorpse,iftheydid.

Verygentleusagethewomenboastof:sowouldavulture,coulditspeak,withtheentrailsofitspreyuponitsrapacioustalons.Ofthisyou'll

judgefromwhatIhavetorecite.

Sheasked,whatwasmeantbythisusageofher?Peopletoldme,saidshe,thatImustgowiththemen:thattheyhadauthoritytotakeme:soIsubmitted.Butnow,whatistobetheendofthisdisgracefulviolence?

Theend,saidthevileSallyMartin,is,forhonestpeopletocomeattheirown.

Blessme!haveItakenawayanythingthatbelongstothosewhohaveobtainedthepoweroverme?--Ihaveleftveryvaluablethingsbehindme;buthavetakenawaythatisnotmyown.

Andwhodoyouthink,MissHarlowe;forIunderstand,saidthecursedcreature,youarenotmarried;whodoyouthinkistopayforyourboardandyourlodgings!suchhandsomelodgings!forsolongatimeasyouwereatMrs.Sinclair's?

Lordhavemercyuponme!--MissMartin,(IthinkyouareMissMartin!)--Andisthisthecauseofsuchadisgracefulinsultuponmeintheopenstreets?



Andcauseenough,MissHarlowe!(fondofgratifyingherjealousrevenge,bycallingherMiss,)--Onehundredandfiftyguineas,orpounds,isnosmallsumtolose--andbyayoungcreaturewhowouldhavebilkedherlodgings.

Youamazeme,MissMartin!--Whatlanguagedoyoutalkin?--Bilkmylodgings?--Whatisthat?

Shestoodastonishedandsilentforafewmoments.

Butrecoveringherself,andturningfromhertothewindow,shewrungherhands[thecursedSallyshowedmehow!]andliftingthemup--Now,Lovelace:nowindeeddoIthinkIoughttoforgivethee!--ButwhoshallforgiveClarissaHarlowe!----Omysister!--Omybrother!--Tendermercieswereyourcrueltiestothis!

Afterapause,herhandkerchiefdryingupherfallingtears,sheturnedtoSally:Now,haveInotingtodobutacquiesce--onlyletmesay,thatifthisauntofyour's,thisMrs.Sinclair,orthisman,thisMr.Lovelace,comenearme;orifIamcarriedtothehorridhouse;(forthat,Isuppose,isthedesignofthisnewoutrage;)GodbemercifultothepoorClarissaHarlowe!----Looktotheconsequence!----Look,Ichargeyou,totheconsequence!

Thevilewretchtoldher,itwasnotdesignedtocarryheranywhereagainstherwill:but,ifitwere,theyshouldtakecarenottobefrightedagainbyapenknife.

ShecastuphereyestoHeaven,andwassilent--andwenttothefarthestcorneroftheroom,and,sittingdown,threwherhandkerchiefoverherface.

Sallyaskedherseveralquestions;butnotansweringher,shetoldher,shewouldwaituponherby-and-by,whenshehadfoundherspeech.

Sheorderedthepeopletopresshertoeatanddrink.Shemustbefasting--nothingbutherprayersandtears,poorthing!--werethe

mercilessdevil'swords,assheownedtome.--DostthinkIdidnotcurseher?

Shewentaway;and,afterherowndinner,returned.

Theunhappylady,bythisdevil'saccountofher,thenseemedeithermortifiedintomeekness,ortohavemadearesolutionnottobeprovokedbytheinsultsofthiscursedcreature.

Sallyinquired,inherpresence,whethershehadeatordrankanything;andbeingtoldbythewoman,thatshecouldnotprevailuponhertotasteamorsel,ordrinkadrop,shesaid,thisiswrong,MissHarlowe!Verywrong!--Yourreligion,Ithink,shouldteachyou,thatstarvingyourself

isself-murder.

Sheanswerednot.

Thewretchownedshewasresolvedtomakeherspeak.

SheaskedifMabellshouldattendher,tillitwereseenwhatherfriendswoulddoforherindischargeofthedebt?Mabell,saidshe,hadnotyetearnedtheclothesyouweresogoodastogiveher.



AmInotworthyananswer,MissHarlowe?

Iwouldansweryou(saidthesweetsufferer,withoutanyemotion)ifIknewhow.

Ihaveorderedpen,ink,andpaper,tobebroughtyou,MissHarlowe.Theretheyare.Iknowyoulovewriting.Youmaywritetowhomyouplease.Yourfriend,MissHowe,willexpecttohearfromyou.

Ihavenofriend,saidshe,Ideservenone.

Rowland,forthat'stheofficer'sname,toldher,shehadfriendsenowtopaythedebt,ifshewouldwrite.

Shewouldtroublenobody;shehadnofriends;wasalltheycouldgetfromher,whileSallystaid:butyetspokenwithapatienceofspirit,asifsheenjoyedhergriefs.

Theinsolentcreaturewentaway,orderingthem,inthelady'shearing,tobeveryciviltoher,andtoletherwantfornothing.Nowhadshe,sheowned,thetriumphofherheartoverthishaughtybeauty,whokeptthemallatsuchadistanceintheirownhouse!

Whatthinkestthou,Lovelace,ofthis!--Thiswretch'striumphwasovera

Clarissa!Aboutsixintheevening,Rowland'swifepressedhertodrinktea.Shesaid,shehadratherhaveaglassofwater;forhertonguewasreadytocleavetotheroofofhermouth.

Thewomanbroughtheraglass,andsomebreadandbutter.Shetriedtotastethelatter;butcouldnotswallowit:buteagerlydrankthewater;liftinguphereyesinthankfulnessforthat!!!

ThedivineClarissa,Lovelace,--reducedtorejoiceforacupofcoldwater!--Bywhomreduced?

Aboutnineo'clocksheaskedifanybodyweretobeherbedfellow.

Theirmaid,ifshepleased;or,asshewassoweakandill,thegirlshouldsitupwithher,ifshechosesheshould.

Shechosetobealonebothnightandday,shesaid.Butmightshenotbetrustedwiththekeyoftheroomwhereshewastoliedown;forsheshouldnotputoffherclothes!

That,theytoldher,couldnotbe.

Shewasafraidnot,shesaid.--Butindeedshewouldnotgetaway,ifshecould.

Theytoldme,thattheyhadbutonebed,besidesthattheylayinthemselves,(whichtheywouldfainhavehadheracceptof,)andbesidesthattheirmaidlayin,inagarret,whichtheycalledaholeofagarret:andthatthatonebedwastheprisoner'sbed;whichtheymadeseveralapologiestomeabout.Isupposeitisshockingenough.

Buttheladywouldnotlieintheirs.Wasshenotaprisoner?shesaid--letherhavetheprisoner'sroom.



Yettheyownedthatshestarted,whenshewasconductedthither.Butrecoveringherself,Verywell,saidshe--whyshouldnotallbeofapiece?--Whyshouldnotmywretchednessbecomplete?

Shefoundfault,thatallthefasteningswereontheoutside,andnonewithin;andsaid,shecouldnottrustherselfinaroomwhereotherscouldcomeinattheirpleasure,andshenotgoout.Shehadnotbeenusedtoit!!!

Dear,dearsoul!--MytearsflowasIwrite!----Indeed,Lovelace,shehadnotbeenusedtosuchtreatment.

Theyassuredher,thatitwasasmuchtheirdutytoprotectherfromotherpersons'insults,asfromescapingherself.

Thentheywerepeopleofmorehonour,shesaid,thanshehadbeenoflateusedto.

SheaskediftheyknewMr.Lovelace?

No,wastheiranswer.

Haveyouheardofhim?

No.Well,then,youmaybegoodsortoffolksinyourway.

Pausehereforamoment,Lovelace!--andreflect--Imust.

***

Againtheyaskedheriftheyshouldsendanywordtoherlodgings?

Thesearemylodgingsnow;aretheynot?--wasallheranswer.

Shesatupinachairallnight,thebackagainstthedoor;having,itseems,thrustapieceofapokerthroughthestapleswhereabolthadbeenontheinside.

***

NextmorningSallyandPollybothwenttovisither.

ShehadbeggedofSally,thedaybefore,thatshemightnotseeMrs.Sinclair,norDorcas,northebroken-toothedservant,calledWilliam.

Pollywouldhaveingratiatedherselfwithher;andpretendedtobeconcernedforhermisfortunes.Butshetooknomorenoticeofherthanoftheother.

Theyaskedifshehadanycommands?--Ifshehad,sheonlyneedtomentionwhattheywere,andsheshouldbeobeyed.

Noneatall,shesaid.



Howdidshelikethepeopleofthehouse?Weretheyciviltoher?

Prettywell,consideringshehadnomoneytogivethem.

Wouldsheacceptofanymoney?theycouldputittoheraccount.

Shewouldcontractnodebts.

Hadsheanymoneyabouther?

Shemeeklyputherhandinherpocket,andpulledouthalfaguinea,andalittlesilver.Yes,Ihavealittle.----Buthereshouldbefeespaid,Ibelieve.Shouldtherenot?Ihaveheardofentrance-moneytocompoundfornotbeingstript.Butthesepeopleareverycivilpeople,Ifancy;fortheyhavenotofferedtotakeawaymyclothes.

Theyhaveorderstobeciviltoyou.

Itisverykind.

Butwetwowillbailyou,Miss,ifyouwillgobackwithustoMrs.Sinclair's.

Notfortheworld!

Her'sareveryhandsomeapartments.

Thefitterforthosewhoownthem!

Theseareverysadones.

Thefitterforme!

Youmaybehappyyet,Miss,ifyouwill.

IhopeIshall.

Ifyourefusetoeatordrink,wewillgivebail,andtakeyouwithus.

ThenIwilltrytoeatanddrink.Anythingbutgowithyou.

Willyounotsendtoyournewlodgings;thepeoplewillbefrighted.

Sotheywill,ifIsend.Sotheywill,iftheyknowwhereIam.

Buthaveyounothingstosendforfromthence?

Thereiswhatwillpayfortheirlodgingsandtrouble:Ishallnotlessentheirsecurity.

Butperhapslettersormessagesmaybeleftforyouthere.

Ihaveveryfewfriends;andtothoseIhaveIwillsparethemortificationofknowingwhathasbefallenme.

Wearesurprisedatyourindifference,MissHarlowe!Willyounotwritetoanyofyourfriends?

No.



Why,youdon'tthinkoftarryingherealways?

Ishallnotlivealways.

Doyouthinkyouaretostayhereaslongasyoulive?

That'sasitshallpleaseGod,andthosewhohavebroughtmehither.

Shouldyouliketobeatliberty?

Iammiserable!--Whatislibertytothemiserable,buttobemoremiserable.

Howmiserable,Miss?--Youmaymakeyourselfashappyasyouplease.

Ihopeyouarebothhappy.

Weare.

Mayyoubemoreandmorehappy!

Butwewishyoutobesotoo.

Ishallneverbeofyouropinion,Ibelieve,astowhathappinessis.

Whatdoyoutakeouropinionofhappinesstobe?

ToliveatMrs.Sinclair's.

Perhaps,saidSally,wewereonceassqueamishandnarrow-mindedasyou.

Howcameitoverwithyou?

Becausewesawtheridiculousnessofprudery.

Doyoucomehithertopersuademetohateprudery,asyoucallit,asmuchasyoudo?

Wecametoofferourservicetoyou.

Itisoutofyourpowertoserveme.

Perhapsnot.

Itisnotinmyinclinationtotroubleyou.

Youmaybeworseoffered.

PerhapsImay.

Youaremightyshort,Miss.

AsIwishyourvisittobe,Ladies.

Theyownedtome,thattheycrackedtheirfans,andlaughed.

Adieu,perversebeauty!

Yourservant,Ladies.



Adieu,haughtyairs!

Youseemehumbled--

Asyoudeserve,MissHarlowe.Pridewillhaveafall.

Betterfall,withwhatyoucallpride,thanstandwithmeanness.

Whodoes?

Ihadonceabetteropinionofyou,MissHorton!--Indeedyoushouldnotinsultthemiserable.

Neithershouldthemiserable,saidSally,insultpeoplefortheircivility.

IshouldbesorryifIdid.

Mrs.Sinclairshallattendyouby-and-by,toknowifyouhaveanycommandsforher.

Ihavenowishforanyliberty,butthatofrefusingtoseeher,andonemoreperson.

Whatwecamefor,wastoknowifyouhadanyproposalstomakeforyourenlargement.

Then,itseems,theofficerputin.Youhaveverygoodfriends,Madam,Iunderstand.Isitnotbetterthatyoumakeitup?Chargeswillrunhigh.Ahundredandfiftyguineasareeasierpaidthantwohundred.Lettheseladiesbailyou,andgoalongwiththem;orwritetoyourfriendstomakeitup.

Sallysaid,Thereisagentlemanwhosawyoutaken,andwassomuchmovedforyou,MissHarlowe,thathewouldgladlyadvancethemoneyforyou,andleaveyoutopayitwhenyoucan.

See,Lovelace,whatcurseddevilstheseare!Thisistheway,weknow,thatmanyaninnocentheartisthrownuponkeeping,andthenuponthetown.Butforthesewretchesthustogotoworkwithsuchanangelasthis!--HowgladwouldhavebeenthedevilishSally,tohavehadtheleasthandletoreporttotheealisteningear,orpatientspirit,uponthishint!

Sir,saidshe,withhighindignation,totheofficer,didnotyousay,lastnight,thatitwasasmuchyourbusinesstoprotectmefromtheinsultsofothers,asfromescaping?--CannotIbepermittedtoseewhomIplease?andtorefuseadmittancetothoseIlikenot?

Yourcreditors,Madam,willexpecttoseeyou.

NotifIdeclareIwillnottreatwiththem.

Then,Madam,youwillbesenttoprison.

Prison,friend!--Whatdostthoucallthyhouse?

Notaprison,Madam.

Whytheseiron-barredwindows,then?Whythesedoublelocksandbolts



allontheoutside,noneonthein?

Anddownshedroptintoherchair,andtheycouldnotgetanotherwordfromher.Shethrewherhandkerchiefoverherface,asonebefore,whichwassoonwetwithtears;andgrievously,theyown,shesobbed.

Gentletreatment,Lovelace!--Perhapsthou,aswellasthesewretches,willthinkitso!

Sallythenorderedadinner,andsaid,Theywouldsoonbebackagain,andseethatsheeatanddrank,asagoodchristianshould,comportingherselftohercondition,andmakingthebestofit.

Whathasnotthischarmingcreaturesuffered,whathasshenotgonethrough,intheselastthreemonths,thatIknowof!--Whowouldthinksuchadelicately-framedpersoncouldhavesustainedwhatshehassustained!Wesometimestalkofbravery,ofcourage,offortitude!--Heretheyareinperfection!--SuchbravoesasthouandIshouldneverhavebeenabletosupportourselvesunderhalfthepersecutions,thedisappointments,andcontumelies,thatshehasmetwith;but,likecowards,shouldhaveslidoutoftheworld,basely,bysomeback-door;thatistosay,byasword,byapistol,byahalter,orknife;--buthereisafine-principledwoman,who,bydintofthisnobleconsideration,asIimagine,[Whatelsecansupporther?]thatshehasnotdeservedthe

evilsshecontendswith;andthatthisworldisdesignedbutasatransitorystateoftheprobation;andthatsheistravellingtoanotherandbetter;putsupwithallthehardshipsofthejourney;andisnottobedivertedfromhercoursebytheattacksofthievesandrobbers,oranyotherterrorsanddifficulties;beingassuredofanamplerewardattheendofit.

Ifthouthinkestthisreflectionuncharacteristicfromacompanionandfriendofthine,imaginestthou,thatIprofitednothingbymylongattendanceonmyuncleinhisdyingstate;andfromthepiousreflectionsofthegoodclergyman,who,daybyday,atthepoorman'sownrequest,visitedandprayedbyhim?--AndcouldIhaveanothersuchinstance,asthis,tobringallthesereflectionshometome?

Thenwhocanwriteofgoodpersons,andofgoodsubjects,andbecapableofadmiringthem,andnotbemadeseriousforthetime?Andhencemaywegatherwhatabenefittothemoralsofmenthekeepingofgoodcompanymustbe;whilethosewhokeeponlybad,mustnecessarilymoreandmoreharden,andbehardened.

***

'Tistwelveoftheclock,Sundaynight--Icanthinkofnothingbutthisexcellentcreature.Herdistressesfillmyheadandmyheart.Iwas

drowsyforaquarterofanhour;butthefitisgoneoff.AndIwillcontinuethemelancholysubjectfromtheinformationofthesewretches.Enough,Idaresay,willariseinthevisitIshallmake,ifadmittedto-morrow,tosendbythyservant,astothewayIamlikelytofindherin.

Afterthewomenhadlefther,shecomplainedofherheadandherheart;andseemedterrifiedwithapprehensionsofbeingcarriedoncemoretoSinclair's.



Refusinganythingforbreakfast,Mrs.Rowlandcameuptoher,andtoldher,(asthesewretchesownedtheyhadorderedher,forfearsheshouldstarveherself,)thatshemustandshouldhavetea,andbreadandbutter:andthat,asshehadfriendswhocouldsupporther,ifshewrotetothem,itwasawrongthing,bothforherselfandthem,tostarveherselfthus.

Ifitbeforyourownsakes,saidshe,thatisanotherthing:letcoffee,ortea,orchocolate,orwhatyouwill,begot:andputdownachickentomyaccounteveryday,ifyouplease,andeatityourselves.Iwilltasteit,ifIcan.Iwoulddonothingtohinderyou.Ihavefriendswillpayyouliberally,whentheyknowIamgone.

Theywondered,theytoldher,atherstrangecomposureinsuchdistresses.

Theywerenothing,shesaid,towhatshehadsufferedalreadyfromthevilestofallmen.Thedisgraceofseizingherinthestreet;multitudesofpeopleabouther;shockingimputationswoundingherears;hadindeedbeenveryaffectingtoher.Butthatwasover.--Everythingsoonwould!--Andsheshouldbestillmorecomposed,wereitnotfortheapprehensionsofseeingoneman,andonewoman;andbeingtrickedorforcedbacktothevilesthouseintheworld.

Thenwereitnotbettertogivewaytothetwogentlewoman'sofferto

bailher?--Theycouldtellher,itwasaverykindproffer;andwhatwasnottobemeteveryday.

Shebelievedso.

Theladiesmight,possibly,dispensewithhergoingbacktothehousetowhichshehadsuchanantipathy.Thenthecompassionategentleman,whowasinclinedtomakeitupwithhercreditorsonherownbond--itwasverystrangetothemshehearkenednottosogenerousaproposal.

Didthetwoladiestellyouwhothegentlemanwas?--Or,didtheysayanymoreonthesubject?

Yes,theydid!andhintedtome,saidthewoman,thatyouhadnothingtodobuttoreceiveavisitfromthegentleman,andthemoney,theybelieved,wouldbelaiddownonyourownbondornote.

Shewasstartled.

Ichargeyou,saidshe,asyouwillansweritonedaytomyfriends,Ichargeyoudon't.Ifyoudo,youknownotwhatmaybetheconsequence.

Theyapprehendednobadconsequence,theysaid,indoingtheirduty:andifsheknewnotherowngood,herfriendswouldthankthemfortakinganyinnocentstepstoserveher,thoughagainstherwill.

Don'tpushmeuponextremities,man!--Don'tmakemedesperate,woman!--Ihavenosmalldifficulty,notwithstandingtheseemingcomposureyoujustnowtooknoticeof,tobear,asIoughttobear,theevilsIsuffer.Butifyoubringamanormentome,bethepretencewhatitwill----

Shestoptthere,andlookedsoearnestly,andsowildly,theysaid,thattheydidnotknowbutshewoulddosomeharmtoherself,iftheydisobeyedher;andthatwouldbeasadthingintheirhouse,andmightbetheirruin.Theythereforepromised,thatnomanshouldbebroughttoherbutbyherownconsent.



Mrs.Rowlandprevailedonhertodrinkadishoftea,andtastesomebreadandbutter,aboutelevenonSaturdaymorning:whichsheprobablydidtohaveanexcusenottodinewiththewomenwhentheyreturned.

Butshewouldnotquitherprison-room,asshecalledit,togointotheirparlour.

'Unbarredwindows,andalightsomerapartment,'shesaid,'hadtoocheerfulanappearanceforhermind.'

Ashowerfalling,asshespoke,'What,'saidshe,lookingup,'dotheelementsweepforme?'

Atanothertime,'Thelightofthesunwasirksometoher.Thesunseemedtoshineintomockherwoes.'

'Methought,'addedshe,'thesundartingin,andgildingtheseironbars,playsuponmelikethetwowomen,whocametoinsultmyhaggardlooks,bythewordbeauty;andmydejectedheart,bythewordhaughtyairs!'

Sallycameagainatdinner-time,toseehowshefared,asshetoldher;andthatshedidnotstarveherself:and,asshewantedtohavesometalkwithher,ifshegaveherleave,shewoulddinewithher.

Icannoteat.

Youmusttry,MissHarlowe.

And,dinnerbeingreadyjustthen,sheofferedherhand,anddesiredhertowalkdown.

No;shewouldnotstiroutofherprison-room.

Thesesullenairswon'tdo,MissHarlowe:indeedtheywon't.

Shewassilent.

Youwillhaveharderusagethananyyouhaveeveryetknown,Icantellyou,ifyoucomenotintosomehumourtomakemattersup.

Shewasstillsilent.

Come,Miss,walkdowntodinner.Letmeentreatyou,do.MissHortonisbelow:shewasonceyourfavourite.

Shewaitedforananswer:butreceivednone.

Wecametomakesomeproposalstoyou,foryourgood;thoughyouaffrontedussolately.AndwewouldnotletMrs.Sinclaircomein

person,becausewethoughttoobligeyou.

Thisisindeedobliging.

Come,givemeyourhand.MissHarlowe:youareobligedtome,Icantellyouthat:andletusgodowntoMissHorton.

Excuseme:Iwillnotstiroutofthisroom.

WouldyouhavemeandMissHortondineinthisfilthybed-room?



Itisnotabed-roomtome.Ihavenotbeeninbed;norwill,whileIamhere.

Andyetyoucarenot,asIsee,toleavethehouse.--Andso,youwon'tgodown,MissHarlowe?

Iwon't,exceptIamforcedtoit.

Well,well,letitalone.Isha'n'taskMissHortontodineinthisroom,Iassureyou.Iwillsendupaplate.

Andawaythelittlesaucytoadfluttereddown.

Whentheyhaddined,uptheycametogether.

Well,Miss,youwouldnoteatanything,itseems?--Veryprettysullenairsthese!--Nowonderthehonestgentlemanhadsuchahandwithyou.

Sheonlyheldupherhandsandeyes;thetearstricklingdownhercheeks.

Insolentdevils!--howmuchmorecruelandinsultingarebadwomeneventhanbadmen!

Methinks,Miss,saidSally,youarealittlesoily,towhatwehaveseenyou.Pitysuchaniceladyshouldnothavechangesofapparel!Whywon'tyousendtoyourlodgingsforlinen,atleast?

Iamnotnicenow.

Misslookswellandcleaninanything,saidPolly.But,dearMadam,whywon'tyousendtoyourlodgings?Wereitbutinkindnesstothepeople?Theymusthaveaconcernaboutyou.AndyourMissHowewillwonderwhat'sbecomeofyou;for,nodoubt,youcorrespond.

Sheturnedfromthem,and,toherself,said,Toomuch!Toomuch!--Shetossedherhandkerchief,wetbeforewithhertears,fromher,andheld

heraprontohereyes.

Don'tweep,Miss!saidthevilePolly.

Yetdo,criedthevilerSally,itwillbearelief.Nothing,asMr.Lovelaceoncetoldme,driessoonerthantears.ForonceItooweptmightily.

Icouldnotbeartherecitalofthiswithpatience.YetIcursedthemnotsomuchasIshouldhavedone,hadInothadamindtogetfromthemalltheparticularsoftheirgentletreatment:andthisfortworeasons;theone,thatImightstabtheetotheheartwiththerepetition;andtheother,thatImightknowuponwhattermsIamlikelytoseetheunhappy

ladyto-morrow.

Well,but,MissHarlowe,criedSally,doyouthinktheseforlornairspretty?Youareagoodchristian,child.Mrs.Rowlandtellsme,shehasgotyouaBible-book.--Othereitlies!--Imakenodoubtbutyouhavedoubleddowntheusefulplaces,ashonestMatt.Priorsays.

Thenrising,andtakingitup.--Ay,soyouhave.--TheBookofJob!Oneopensnaturallyhere,Isee--MymammamademeafineBible-scholar.--Yousee,MissHorton,Iknowsomethingofthebook.



Theyproposedoncemoretobailher,andtogohomewiththem.Amotionwhichshereceivedwiththesameindignationasbefore.

Sallytoldher,Thatshehadwritteninaveryfavourablemanner,inherbehalf,toyou;andthatsheeveryhourexpectedananswer;andmadenodoubt,thatyouwouldcomeupwithamessenger,andgenerouslypaythewholedebt,andaskherpardonforneglectingit.

Thisdisturbedhersomuch,thattheyfearedshewouldhavefallenintofits.Shecouldnotbearyourname,shesaid.Shehopedsheshouldneverseeyoumore:and,wereyoutointrudeyourself,dreadfulconsequencesmightfollow.

Surely,theysaid,shewouldbegladtobereleasedfromherconfinement.

Indeedsheshould,nowtheyhadbeguntoalarmherwithhisname,whowastheauthorofallherwoes:andwho,shenowsawplainly,gavewaytothisnewoutrage,inordertobringhertohisowninfamousterms.

Whythen,theyasked,wouldshenotwritetoherfriends,topayMrs.Sinclair'sdemand?

Becauseshehopedsheshouldnottroubleanybody;andbecausesheknew

thatthepaymentofthemoneyifsheshouldbeabletopayit,wasnotwhatwasaimedat.

Sallyownedthatshetoldher,That,truly,shehadthoughtherselfaswelldescended,andaswelleducated,asherself,thoughnotentitledtosuchconsiderablefortunes.Andhadtheimpudencetoinsistuponittometobetruth.

Shehadtheinsolencetoadd,tothelady,ThatshehadasmuchreasonasshetoexpectMr.Lovelacewouldmarryher;hehavingcontractedtodosobeforeheknewMissClarissaHarlowe:andthatshehaditunderhishandandsealtoo--orelsehehadnotobtainedhisend:thereforeitwasnotlikelysheshouldbesoofficiousastodohisworkagainstherself,if

shethoughtMr.Lovelacehaddesignsuponher,likewhatshepresumedtohintat:that,forherpart,heronlyviewwas,toprocurelibertytoayounggentlewoman,whomadethosethingsgrievoustoherwhichwouldnotbemadesucharoutaboutbyanybodyelse--andtoprocurethepaymentofajustdebttoherfriendMrs.Sinclair.

Shebesoughtthemtoleaveher.Shewantednottheseinstances,shesaid,toconvinceherofthecompanyshewasin;andtoldthem,that,togetridofsuchvisiters,andofthestillworseshewasapprehensiveof,shewouldwritetoonefriendtoraisethemoneyforher;thoughitwouldbedeathforhertodoso;becausethatfriendcouldnotdoitwithouthermother,inwhoseeyeitwouldgiveaselfishappearancetoafriendshipthatwasaboveallsordidalloys.

Theyadvisedhertowriteoutofhand.

ButhowmuchmustIwritefor?Whatisthesum?ShouldInothavehadabilldeliveredme?Godknows,Itooknotyourlodgings.Buthethatcouldtreatmeashehasdone,coulddothis!

Don'tspeakagainstMr.Lovelace,MissHarlowe.HeisamanIgreatlyesteem.[Cursedtoad!]And,'batingthathewilltakehisadvantage,wherehecan,ofUSsillycredulouswomen,heisamanofhonour.



Sheliftedupherhandsandeyes,insteadofspeaking:andwellshemight!ForanywordsshecouldhaveusedcouldnothaveexpressedtheanguishshemustfeelonbeingcomprehendedintheUS.

Shemustwriteforonehundredandfiftyguineas,atleast:twohundred,ifshewereshortofmoremoney,mightwellbewrittenfor.

Mrs.Sinclair,shesaid,hadallherclothes.Letthembesold,fairlysold,andthemoneygoasfarasitwouldgo.Shehadalsoafewothervaluables;butnomoney,(noneatall,)butthepoorhalfguinea,andthelittlesilvertheyhadseen.Shewouldgivebondtopayallthatherapparel,andtheothermatersshehad,wouldfallshortof.Shehadgreateffectsbelongingtoherofright.Herbondwould,andmustbepaid,wereitforathousandpounds.Butherclothessheshouldneverwant.Shebelieved,ifnottoomuchundervalued,those,andherfewvaluables,wouldanswereverything.Shewishedfornosurplusbuttodischargethelastexpenses;andfortyshillingswoulddoaswellforthoseasfortypounds.'Letmyruin,saidshe,liftinguphereyes,beLARGE!LetitbeCOMPLETE,inthislife!--Foracomposition,letitbeCOMPLETE.'--Andthereshestopped.

Thewretchescouldnothelpwishingtomefortheopportunityofmakingsuchapurchasefortheirownwear.HowIcursedthem!and,inmyheart,

thee!--Buttooprobable,thoughtI,thatthisvileSallyMartinmayhope,[thoughthouartincapableofit,]thatherLovelace,asshehastheassurance,behindthyback,tocallthee,maypresentherwithsomeofthepoorlady'sspoils!

WillnotMrs.Sinclair,proceededshe,thinkmyclothesasecurity,tilltheycanbesold?Theyareverygoodclothes.Asuitortwobutjustputon,asitwere;neverworn.Theycostmuchmorethanitdemandedofme.Myfatherlovedtoseemefine.--Allshallgo.Butletmehavetheparticularsofherdemand.IsupposeImustpayformydestroyer[thatwasherwell-adaptedword!]andhisservants,aswellasformyself.Iamcontenttodoso--Iamabovewishingthatanybody,whocouldthusact,shouldbesomuchasexpostulatedwith,astothejusticeandequity

ofthispayment.IfIhavebutenoughtopaythedemand,Ishallbesatisfied;andwillleavethebasenessofsuchanactionasthis,asanaaggravationofaguiltwhichIthoughtcouldnotbeaggravated.

Iown,Lovelace,Ihavemaliceinthisparticularity,inordertostingtheeontheheart.And,letmeaskthee,whatnowthoucan'stthinkofthybarbarity,thyunprecedentedbarbarity,inhavingreducedapersonofherrank,fortune,talents,andvirtue,solow?

Thewretchedwomen,itmustbeowned,actbutintheirprofession:aprofessionthouhastbeentheprincipalmeansofreducingthesetwotoactin.Andtheyknowwhatthydesignshavebeen,andhowfarprosecuted.Itis,intheiropinions,usinghergently,thattheyhave

forbornetobringhertothewomansojustlyodioustoher:andthattheyhavenotthreatenedherwiththeintroducingtoherstrangemen:noryetbroughtintohercompanytheirspirit-breakers,andhumbling-drones,(fellowsnotallowedtocarrystings,)totraceandforceherbacktotheirdetestedhouse;and,whenthere,intoalltheirmeasures.

TillIcame,theythoughtthouwouldstnotbedispleasedatanythingshesuffered,thatcouldhelptomortifyherintoastateofshameanddisgrace;andbringhertocomplywiththyviews,whenthoushouldstcometoreleaseherfromthesewretches,asfromagreaterevilthan



cohabitingwiththee.

Whenthouconsiderestthesethings,thouwiltmakenodifficultyofbelieving,thatthistheirownaccountoftheirbehaviourtothisadmirablewomanhasbeenfarshortoftheirinsults:andtheless,whenItellthee,that,alltogether,theirusagehadsucheffectuponher,thattheyleftherinviolenthysterics;orderinganapothecarytobesentfor,ifsheshouldcontinueinthem,andbeworse;andparticularly(astheyhaddonefromthefirst)thattheykeptoutofherwayanyedgedorpointedinstrument;especiallyapen-knife;which,pretendingtomendapen,theysaid,shemightaskfor.

Attwelve,Saturdaynight,Rowlandsenttotellthem,thatshewassoill,thatheknewnotwhatmightbetheissue;andwishedheroutofhishouse.

Andthismadethemasheartilywishtohearfromyou.Fortheirmessenger,totheirgreatsurprise,wasnotthenreturnedfromM.Hall.AndtheyweresurehemusthavereachedthatplacebyFridaynight.

EarlyonSundaymorning,bothdevilswenttoseehowshedid.Theyhadsuchanaccountofherweakness,lowness,andanguish,thattheyforebore(outofcompassion,theysaid,findingtheirvisitssodisagreeabletoher)toseeher.Buttheirapprehensionofwhatmightbetheissuewas,

nodoubt,theirprincipalconsideration:nothingelsecouldhavesoftenedsuchflintybosoms.

TheysentfortheapothecaryRowlandhadhadtoher,andgavehim,andRowland,andhiswifeandmaid,strictorders,manytimesrepeated,fortheutmostcaretobetakenofher--nodoubt,withanOld-Baileyforecast.Andtheysentuptoletherknowwhatorderstheyhadgiven:butthat,understandingshehadtakensomethingtocomposeherself,theywouldnotdisturbher.

Shehadscrupled,itseems,toadmittheapothecary'svisitovernight,becausehewasaMAN.Norcouldshebeprevailedupontoseehim,tilltheypleadedtheirownsafetytoher.

Theywentagain,fromchurch,[Lord,Bob.,thesecreaturesgotochurch!]butshesentthemdownwordthatshemusthavealltheremainderofthedaytoherself.

WhenIfirstcame,andtoldthemofthyexecrationsforwhattheyhaddone,andjoinedmyowntothem,theywereastonished.Themothersaid,shehadthoughtshehadknownMr.Lovelacebetter;andexpectedthanks,andnotcurses.

WhileIwaswiththem,camebackhaltingandcursing,mosthorribly,theirmessenger;byreasonoftheill-usagehehadreceivedfromyou,insteadoftherewardhehadbeentaughttoexpectforthesupposedgood

newsthathecarrieddown.--Aprettyfellow,artthounot,toabusepeoplefortheconsequencesofthyownfaults?

Dorcas,whoseacquaintancethisfellowis,andwhorecommendedhimforthejourney,hadconditionedwithhim,itseems,forashareintheexpectedbountyfromyou.Hadshebeentohavehadhersharemadegood,Iwishthouhadstbrokeneveryboneinhisskin.

Underwhatshockingdisadvantages,andwiththisadditiontothem,thatIamthyfriendandintimate,amItomakeavisittothisunhappylady



to-morrowmorning!Inthyname,too!--Enoughtoberefused,thatIamofasex,towhich,forthysake,shehassojustifiableanaversion:nor,havingsuchatyrantofafather,andsuchanimplacablebrother,hasshethereasontomakeanexceptioninfavourofanyofitontheiraccounts.

Itisthreeo'clock.Iwillclosehere;andtakealittlerest:whatIhavewrittenwillbeaproperpreparativeforwhatshallofferby-and-by.

Thyservantisnottoreturnwithoutaletter,hetellsme;andthatthouexpectesthimbackinthemorning.Thouhastfellowsenoughwherethouartatthycommand.IfIfindanydifficultyinseeingthelady,thymessengershallpostawaywiththis.--Lethimlooktobrokenbones,andotherconsequences,ifwhathecarriesanswernotthyexpectation.But,ifIamadmitted,thoushalthavethisandtheresultofmyaudiencebothtogether.Intheformercase,thoumayestsendanotherservanttowaitthenextadvicesfrom

J.BELFORD.

LETTERXVI

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.

MONDAY,JULY17.

Aboutsixthismorning,IwenttoRowland's.Mrs.Sinclairwastofollowme,inordertodismisstheaction;butnottocomeinsight.

Rowland,uponinquiry,toldme,thattheladywasextremelyill;andthatshehaddesired,thatnoonebuthiswifeormaidshouldcomenearher.

Isaid,Imustseeher.Ihadtoldhimmybusinessover-night,andImustseeher.

Hiswifewentup:butreturnedpresently,saying,shecouldnotgether

tospeaktoher;yetthathereyelidsmoved;thoughsheeitherwouldnot,orcouldnot,openthem,tolookupather.

Oons,woman,saidI,theladymaybeinafit:theladymaybedying--letmegoup.Showmetheway.

Ahorridholeofahouse,inanalleytheycallacourt;stairswretchedlynarrow,eventothefirst-floorrooms:andintoadentheyledme,withbrokenwalls,whichhadbeenpapered,asIsawbyamultitudeoftacks,andsometornbitsheldonbytherustyheads.

Thefloorindeedwasclean,buttheceilingwassmokedwithvarietyoffigures,andinitialsofnames,thathadbeenthewoefulemploymentof

wretcheswhohadnootherwaytoamusethemselves.

Abedatonecorner,withcoarsecurtainstackedupatthefeettotheceiling;becausethecurtain-ringswerebrokenoff;butacoverliduponitwithacleanishlook,thoughplaguilyintatters,andthecornerstiedupintassels,thattherentsinitmightgonofarther.

Thewindowsdarkanddouble-barred,thetopsboardeduptosavemending;andonlyalittlefour-panedeyelet-holeofacasementtoletinair;more,however,cominginatbrokenpanesthancouldcomeinatthat.



FouroldTurkey-workedchairs,bursten-bottomed,thestuffingstaringout.

Anold,tottering,worm-eatentable,thathadmorenailsbestowedinmendingittomakeitstand,thanthetablecostfiftyyearsago,whennew.

Onthemantle-piecewasanironshove-upcandlestick,withalightedcandleinit,twinkle,twinkle,twinkle,fourofthem,Isuppose,forapenny.

Nearthat,onthesameshelf,wasanoldlooking-glass,crackedthroughthemiddle,breakingoutintoathousandpoints;thecrackgivenit,perhaps,inarage,bysomepoorcreature,towhomitgavetherepresentationofhisheart'swoesinhisface.

Thechimneyhadtwohalf-tilesinitononeside,andonewholeoneontheother;whichshowedithadbeeninbetterplight;butnowtheverymortarhadfollowedtherestofthetilesineveryotherplace,andleftthebricksbare.

Anoldhalf-barredstovegratewasinthechimney;andinthatalargestone-bottlewithoutaneck,filledwithbalefulyew,asanevergreen,

witheredsouthern-wood,deadsweet-briar,andsprigsofrueinflower.Tofinishtheshockingdescription,inadarknookstoodanoldbroken-bottomedcanecouch,withoutasquab,orcoverlid,sunkatonecorner,andunmortisedbythefailingofoneofitsworm-eaterlegs,whichlayintwopiecesunderthewretchedpieceoffurnitureitcouldnolongersupport.

Andthis,thouhorridLovelace,wasthebed-chamberofthedivineClarissa!!!

Ihadleisuretocastmyeyeonthesethings:for,goingupsoftly,thepoorladyturnednotaboutatourentrance;nor,tillIspoke,movedher

head.

Shewaskneelinginacorneroftheroom,nearthedismalwindow,againstthetable,onanoldbolster(asitseemedtobe)ofthecanecouch,half-coveredwithherhandkerchief;herbacktothedoor;whichwasonlyshutto,[noneedoffastenings;]herarmscrosseduponthetable,thefore-fingerofherright-handinherBible.Shehadperhapsbeenreadinginit,andcouldreadnolonger.Paper,pens,ink,laybyherbookonthetable.Herdresswaswhitedamask,exceedingneat;butherstaysseemednottight-laced.Iwastoldafterwards,thatherlaceshadbeencut,whenshefaintedawayatherentranceintothiscursedplace;andshehadnotbeensolicitousenoughaboutherdresstosendforothers.Herhead-dresswasalittlediscomposed;hercharminghair,innatural

ringlets,asyouhaveheretoforedescribedit,butalittletangled,asifnotlatelycombed,irregularlyshadingonesideoftheloveliestneckintheworld;asherdisorderedrumpledhandkerchiefdidtheother.Herface[OhowalteredfromwhatIhadseenit!yetlovelyinspiteofallhergriefsandsufferings!]wasreclined,whenweentered,uponhercrossedarms;butso,asnotmorethanonesideofitcouldbehid.

WhenIsurveyedtheroomaround,andthekneelinglady,sunkwithmajestytooinherwhiteflowingrobes,(forshehadnotonahoop,)spreadingthedark,thoughnotdirty,floor,andilluminatingthathorridcorner;



herlinenbeyondimaginationwhite,consideringthatshehadnotbeenundressedeverysinceshehadbeenhere;Ithoughtmyconcernwouldhavechokedme.Somethingroseinmythroat,Iknownotwhat,whichmademe,foramoment,guggle,asitwere,forspeech:which,atlast,forcingitsway,con--con--confoundyouboth,saidI,tothemanandwoman,isthisanapartmentforsuchalady?andcouldthecurseddevilsofherownsex,whovisitedthissufferingangel,seeher,andleaveher,insod----danook?

Sir,wewouldhavehadtheladytoacceptofourownbed-chamber:butsherefusedit.Wearepoorpeople--andweexpectnobodywillstaywithuslongerthantheycanhelpit.

Youarepeoplechosenpurposely,Idoubtnot,bythed----dwomanwhohasemployedyou:andifyourusageofthisladyhasbeenbuthalfasbadasyourhouse,youhadbetternevertohaveseenthelight.

Upthenraisedthecharmingsuffererherlovelyface;butwithsuchasignificanceofwoeoverspreadingit,thatIcouldnot,forthesoulofme,helpbeingvisiblyaffected.

Shewavedherhandtwoorthreetimestowardsthedoor,asifcommandingmetowithdraw;anddispleasedatmyintrusion;butdidnotspeak.

Permitme,Madam--Iwillnotapproachonestepfartherwithoutyourleave--permitme,foronemoment,thefavourofyourear!

No--no--go,go,MAN!withanemphasis--andwouldhavesaidmore;but,asifstrugglinginvainforwords,sheseemedtogiveupspeechforlost,anddroppedherheaddownoncemore,withadeepsigh,uponherleftarm;herright,asifshehadnottheuseofit(numbed,Isuppose)self-moved,droppingonherside.

Othatthouhadstbeenthere!andinmyplace!--ButbywhatIthenfelt,inmyself,Iamconvinced,thatacapacityofbeingmovedbythedistressesofourfellowcreatures,isfarfrombeingdisgracefultoamanlyheart.Withwhatpleasure,atthatmoment,couldIhavegivenup

myownlife,couldIbutfirsthaveavengedthischarmingcreature,andcutthethroatofherdestroyer,assheemphaticallycallsthee,thoughthefriendthatIbestlove:andyet,atthesametime,myheartandmyeyesgavewaytoasoftnessofwhich(thoughnotsohardenedawretchasthou)theywereneverbeforesosusceptible.

Idarenotapproachyou,dearestlady,withoutyourleave:butonmykneesIbeseechyoutopermitmetoreleaseyoufromthisd----dhouse,andoutofthepowerofthecursedwoman,whowastheoccasionofyourbeinghere!

Shelifteduphersweetfaceoncemore,andbeheldmeonmyknees.NeverknewIbeforewhatitwastopraysoheartily.

Areyounot--areyounotMr.Belford,Sir?IthinkyournameisBelford?

Itis,Madam,andIeverwasaworshipperofyourvirtues,andanadvocateforyou;andIcometoreleaseyoufromthehandsyouarein.

Andinwhosetoplaceme?--Oleaveme,leaveme!letmeneverrisefromthisspot!letmenever,nevermorebelieveinman!

Thismoment,dearestlady,thisverymoment,ifyouplease,youmay



departwhithersoeveryouthinkfit.Youareabsolutelyfree,andyourownmistress.

Ihadnowaslievediehereinthisplace,asanywhere.Iwillowenoobligationtoanyfriendofhiminwhosecompanyyouhaveseenme.So,pray,Sir,withdraw.

Thenturningtotheofficer,Mr.RowlandIthinkyournameis?IambetterreconciledtoyourhousethanIwasatfirst.IfyoucanbutengagethatIshallhavenobodycomenearmebutyourwife,(noman!)andneitherofthosewomenwhohavesportedwithmycalamities,Iwilldiewithyou,andinthisverycorner.Andyoushallbewellsatisfiedforthetroubleyouhavehadwithme--Ihavevalueenoughforthat--for,see,Ihaveadiamondring;takingitoutofherbosom;andIhavefriendswillredeemitatahighprice,whenIamgone.

Butforyou,Sir,lookingatme,Ibegyoutowithdraw.Ifyoumeanwellbyme,God,Ihope,willrewardyouforyourgoodmeaning;buttothefriendofmydestroyerwillInotoweanobligation.

Youwillowenoobligationtome,nortoanybody.Youhavebeendetainedforadebtyoudonotowe.Theactionisdismissed;andyouwillonlybesogoodastogivemeyourhandintothecoach,whichstandsasneartothishouseasitcoulddrawup.AndIwilleitherleaveyou

atthecoach-door,orattendyouwhithersoeveryouplease,tillIseeyousafewhereyouwouldwishtobe.

Willyouthen,Sir,compelmetobebeholdentoyou?

Youwillinexpressiblyobligeme,Madam,tocommandmetodoyoueitherserviceorpleasure.

Whythen,Sir,[lookingatme]--butwhydoyoumockmeinthathumbleposture!Rise,Sir!Icannotspeaktoyouelse.

Irose.

Only,Sir,takethisring.Ihaveasister,whowillbegladtohaveit,atthepriceitshallbevaluedat,fortheformerowner'ssake!--Outofthemoneyshegives,letthismanbepaid!handsomelypaid:andIhaveafewvaluablesmoreatmylodging,(Dorcas,ortheMANWilliam,cantellwherethatis;)letthem,andmyclothesatthewickedwoman's,whereyouhaveseenme,besoldforthepaymentofmylodgingfirst,andnextofyourfriend'sdebts,thatIhavebeenarrestedfor,asfarastheywillgo;onlyreservingenoughtoputmeintotheground,anywhere,oranyhow,nomatter----Tellyourfriend,Iwishitmaybeenoughtosatisfythewholedemand;butifitbenot,hemustmakeituphimself;or,ifhethinkfittodrawforitonMissHowe,shewillrepayit,andwithinterest,ifheinsistuponit.----Andthis,Sir,ifyoupromisetoperform,youwilldome,asyouoffer,bothpleasureandservice:andsay

youwill,andtaketheringandwithdraw.IfIwanttosayanythingmoretoyou(youseemtobeanhumaneman)Iwillletyouknow----andso,Sir,Godblessyou!

Iapproachedher,andwasgoingtospeak----

Don'tspeak,Sir:here'sthering.

Istoodoff.



Andwon'tyoutakeit?won'tyoudothislastofficeforme?--Ihavenootherpersontoaskitof;else,believeme,Iwouldnotrequestitofyou.Buttakeit,ornot,layingituponthetable----youmustwithdraw,Sir:Iamveryill.Iwouldfaingetalittlerest,ifIcould.IfindIamgoingtobebadagain.

Andofferingtorise,shesunkdownthroughexcessofweaknessandgrief,inafaintingfit.

Why,Lovelace,wasthounotpresentthyself?----Whydostthoucommitsuchvillanies,aseventhouartafraidtoappearin;andyetputtestaweakerheartandheaduponencounteringwiththem?

Themaidcominginjustthen,thewomanandsheliftedheruponadecrepitcouch;andIwithdrewwiththisRowland;whoweptlikeachild,andsaid,heneverinhislifewassomoved.

Yetsohardenedawretchartthou,thatIquestionwhetherthouwiltshedatearatmyrelation.

Theyrecoveredherbyhartshornandwater.Iwentdownmeanwhile;forthedetestablewomanhadbeenbelowsometime.OhowIdidcurseher!Ineverbeforewassofluentincurses.

Shetriedtowheedleme;butIrenouncedher;and,aftershehaddismissedtheaction,sentherawaycrying,orpretendingtocry,becauseofmybehaviourtoher.

Youwillobserve,thatIdidnotmentiononewordtotheladyaboutyou.Iwasafraidtodoit.For'twasplain,thatshecouldnotbearyourname:yourfriend,andthecompanyyouhaveseenmein,werethewordsnearesttonamingyoushecouldspeak:andyetIwantedtoclearyourintentionofthisbrutal,thissordid-lookingvillany.

Isentupagain,byRowland'swife,whenIheardthattheladywasrecovered,beseechinghertoquitthatdevilishplace;andthewomanassuredherthatshewasatlibertytodoso,forthattheactionwas

dismissed.

Butshecarednottoanswerher:andwassoweakandlow,thatitwasalmostasmuchoutofherpowerasinclination,thewomantoldme,tospeak.

IwouldhavehastenedawayformyfriendDoctorH.,butthehouseissuchaden,andtheroomshewasinsuchahole,thatIwasashamedtobeseeninitbyamanofhisreputation,especiallywithawomanofsuchanappearance,andinsuchuncommondistress;andIfoundtherewasnoprevailinguponhertoquititforthepeople'sbed-room,whichwasneatandlightsome.

Thestrongroomshewasin,thewretchestoldme,shouldhavebeeninbetterorder,butthatitwasbuttheverymorningthatshewasbroughtinthatanunhappymanhadquittedit;foramoreeligibleprison,nodoubt;sincetherecouldhardlybeaworse.

Beingtoldthatshedesirednottobedisturbed,andseemedinclinedtodoze,ItookthisopportunitytogotoherlodgingsinCovent-garden:towhichDorcas(whofirstdiscoveredherthere,asWill.wasthesetterfromchurch)hadbeforegivenmeadirection.



Theman'snameisSmith,adealeringloves,snuff,andsuchpettymerchandize:hiswifetheshopkeeper:heamakeroftheglovestheysell.Honestpeople,itseems.

Ithoughttohavegotthewomanwithmetothelady;butshewasnotwithin.

Italkedwiththeman,andtoldhimwhathadbefallenthelady;owing,asIsaid,toamistakeoforders;andgaveherthecharactershedeserved;anddesiredhimtosendhiswife,themomentshecamein,tothelady;directinghimwhither;notdoubtingthatherattendancewouldbeverywelcometoher;whichhepromised.

HetoldmethataletterwasleftforherthereonSaturday;and,abouthalfanhourbeforeIcame,another,superscribedbythesamehand;thefirst,bythepost;theother,byacountryman;whohavingbeeninformedofherabsence,andofallthecircumstancestheycouldtellhimofit,postedaway,fullofconcern,saying,thattheladyhewassentfromwouldbereadytobreakherheartatthetidings.

Ithoughtitrighttotakethetwolettersbackwithme;and,dismissingmycoach,tookachair,asamorepropervehicleforthelady,ifI(thefriendofherdestroyer)couldprevailuponhertoleaveRowland's.

Andhere,beingobligedtogivewaytoanindispensableavocation,Iwillmaketheetastealittle,inthyturn,oftheplagueofsuspense;andbreakoff,withoutgivingtheetheleasthintoftheissueofmyfurtherproceedings.Iknow,thatthoseleastbeardisappointment,wholovemosttogiveit.Intwentyinstances,hastthouaffordedmeproofofthetruthofthisobservation.AndImatternotthyraving.

Anotherletter,however,shallbeready,sendforitasoonasthouwilt.But,wereitnot,haveInotwrittenenoughtoconvincethee,thatIam

Thyreadyandobligingfriend,J.BELFORD.

LETTERXVII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.MONDAY,JULY17,ELEVENATNIGHT.

Curseuponthyhardheart,thouvilecaitiff!Howhastthoutorturedme,bythydesignedabruption!'tisimpossiblethatMissHarloweshouldhaveeversufferedasthouhastmademesuffer,andasInowsuffer!

Thatsexismadetobearpain.Itisacursethatthefirstofit

entaileduponallherdaughters,whenshebroughtthecurseuponusall.Andtheylovethosebest,whethermanorchild,whogivethemmost--Buttostretchuponthyd----dtenter-hookssuchaspiritasmine--Norack,notorture,canequalmytorture!

AndmustIstillwaitthereturnofanothermessenger?

Confoundtheeforamaliciousdevil!Iwishthouwertapost-horse,andIuponthebackofthee!howwouldIwhipandspur,andharrowupthyclumsysides,tillImaketheeaready-roasted,ready-flayed,messof



dog'smeat;allthehoundsinthecountryhowlingafterthee,asIdrovethee,towaitmydismounting,inordertodevourtheepiece-meal;lifestillthrobbingineachchurnedmouthful!

Givethisfellowthesequelofthytormentingscribble.

Dispatchhimawaywithit.Thouhastpromiseditshallbeready.EverycushionorchairIshallsitupon,thebedIshallliedownupon(ifIgotobed)tillhereturn,willbestuffedwithbolt-uprightawls,bodkins,corking-pins,andpackingneedles:alreadyIcanfancythat,topinkmybodylikemymind,Ineedonlytobeputintoahogsheadstuckfullofsteel-pointedspikes,androlleddownahillthreetimesashighastheMonument.

ButIlosetime;yetknownothowtoemployittillthisfellowreturnswiththesequelofthysoul-harrowingintelligence!

LETTERXVIII

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.MONDAYNIGHT,JULY17.

OnmyreturntoRowland's,Ifoundthattheapothecarywasjustgoneup.Mrs.Rowlandbeingabovewithhim,Imadethelessscrupletogouptoo,asitwasprobable,thattoaskforleavewouldbetoasktobedenied;hopingalso,thatthelettershadwithmewouldbeagoodexcuse.

Shewassittingonthesideofthebrokencouch,extremelyweakandlow;and,Iobserved,carednottospeaktotheman:andnowonder;forIneversawamoreshockingfellow,ofaprofessiontolerablygenteel,norheardamoreilliterateoneprate--physicianinordinarytothishouse,andotherslikeit,Isuppose!HeputmeinmindofOtway'sapothecaryinhisCaiusMarius;asborrowedfromtheimmortalShakspeare:

Meagreandveryruefulwerehislooks:Sharpmiseryhadwornhimtothebones.------------Famineinhischeeks:Needandoppressionstaringinhiseyes:Contemptandbeggaryhangingonhisback:Theworldnofriendofhis,northeworld'slaw.

AsIaminblack,hetookme,atmyentrance,Ibelieve,tobeadoctor;andslunkbehindmewithhishatuponhistwothumbs,andlookedasifheexpectedtheoracletoopen,andgivehimorders.

Theladylookeddispleased,aswellatmeasatRowland,whofollowedme,andattheapothecary.Itwasnot,shesaid,theleastofherpresent

misfortunes,thatshecouldnotbelefttoherownsex;andtoheroptiontoseewhomshepleased.

Ibesoughtherexcuse;andwinkingfortheapothecarytowithdraw,[whichhedid,]toldher,thatIhadbeenathernewlodgings,toordereverythingtobegotreadyforreception,presumingshewouldchoosetogothither:thatIhadachairatthedoor:thatMr.Smithandhiswife[Inamedtheirnames,thatsheshouldnothaveroomfortheleastfearofSinclair's]hadbeenfullofapprehensionsforhersafety:thatIhadbroughttwoletters,whichwereleftthereforeher;theonebythepost,



theotherthatverymorning.

Thistookherattention.Sheheldouthercharminghandforthem;tookthem,and,pressingthemtoherlips--FromtheonlyfriendIhaveintheworld!saidshe;kissingthemagain;andlookingattheseals,asiftoseewhethertheyhadbeenopened.Ican'treadthem,saidshe,myeyesaretoodim;andputthemintoherbosom.

Ibesoughthertothinkofquittingthatwretchedhole.

Whithercouldshego,sheasked,tobesafeanduninterruptedfortheshortremainderofherlife;andtoavoidbeingagainvisitedbythecreatureswhohadinsultedherbefore?

Igaveherthesolemnestassurancesthatsheshouldnotbeinvadedinhernewlodgingsbyanybody;andsaidthatIwouldparticularlyengagemyhonour,thatthepersonwhohadmostoffendedhershouldnotcomenearher,withoutherownconsent.

Yourhonour,Sir!Areyounotthatman'sfriend!

Iamnotafriend,Madam,tohisvileactionstothemostexcellentofwomen.

Doyouflatterme,Sir?thenyouareaMAN.--ButOh,Sir,yourfriend,holdingherfaceforwardwithgreatearnestness,yourbarbarousfriend,whathashenottoanswerfor!

Thereshestopt:herheartfull;andputtingherhandoverhereyesandforehead,thetearstrickedthroughherfingers:resentingthybarbarity,itseemed,asCaesardidthestabfromhisdistinguishedBrutus!

Thoughshewassoverymuchdisordered,IthoughtIwouldnotlosethisopportunitytoassertyourinnocenceofthisvillanousarrest.

Thereisnodefendingtheunhappymaninanyofhisvileactionsbyyou,Madam;butofthislastoutrage,byallthat'sgoodandsacred,heis

innocent.

Owretches;whatasexisyour's!--Haveyouallonedialect?goodandsacred!--If,Sir,youcanfindanoath,oravow,oranadjuration,thatmyearshavenotbeentwentytimesadaywoundedwith,thenspeakit,andImayagainbelieveaMAN.

Iwasexcessivelytouchedatthesewords,knowingthybaseness,andthereasonshehadforthem.

Butsayyou,Sir,forIwouldnot,methinks,havethewretchcapableofthissordidbaseness!--Sayyou,thatheisinnocentofthislastwickedness?canyoutrulysaythatheis?

BythegreatGodofHeaven!----

Nay,Sir,ifyouswear,Imustdoubtyou!--IfyouyourselfthinkyourWORDinsufficient,whatreliancecanIhaveonyourOATH!--Othatthismyexperiencehadnotcostmesodear!butwereItoloveathousandyears,Iwouldalwayssuspecttheveracityofaswearer.Excuseme,Sir;butisitlikely,thathewhomakessofreewithhisGOD,willscrupleanythingthatmayservehisturnwithhisfellowcreature?



Thiswasamostaffectingreprimand!

Madam,saidI,Ihavearegard,aregardagentlemanoughttohave,tomyword;andwheneverIforfeitittoyou----

Nay,Sir,don'tbeangrywithme.Itisgrievoustometoquestionagentleman'sveracity.Butyourfriendcallshimselfagentleman--youknownotwhatIhavesufferedbyagentleman!----Andthenagainshewept.

Iwouldgiveyou,Madam,demonstration,ifyourgriefandyourweaknesswouldpermitit,thathehasnohandinthisbarbarousbaseness:andthatheresentsitasitoughttoberesented.

Well,well,Sir,[withquickness,]hewillhavehisaccounttomakeupsomewhereelse;nottome.Ishouldnotbesorrytofindhimabletoacquithisintentiononthisoccasion.Lethimknow,Sir,onlyonething,thatwhenyouheardmeinthebitternessofmyspirit,mostvehementlyexclaimagainsttheundeservedusageIhavemetwithfromhim,thateventhen,inthatpassionatemoment,Iwasabletosay[andneverdidIseesuchanearnestandaffectingexultationofhandsandeyes,]'Givehim,goodGod!repentanceandamendment;thatImaybethelastpoorcreature,whoshallberuinedbyhim!--and,inthineowngoodtime,receivetothymercythepoorwretchwhohadnoneonme!--'

Bymysoul,Icouldnotspeak.--ShehadnotherBiblebeforeherfornothing.

Iwasforcedtoturnmyheadaway,andtotakeoutmyhandkerchief.

Whatanangelisthis!--Eventhegaoler,andhiswifeandmaid,wept.

AgainIwishthouhadstbeenthere,thatthoumightesthavesunkdownatherfeet,andbegunthatmomenttoreaptheeffectofhergenerouswishesforthee;undeserving,asthouart,ofanythingbutperdition.

Irepresentedtoherthatshewouldbelessfreewhereshewasfromvisitsshelikednot,thanatherownlodgings.Itoldher,thatit

wouldprobablybringher,inparticular,onevisiter,who,otherwiseIwouldengage,[butIdurstnotswearagain,aftertheseverereprimandshehadjustgivenme,]shouldnotcomenearher,withoutherconsent.AndIexpressedmysurprize,thatsheshouldbeunwillingtoquitsuchaplaceasthis;whenitwasmorethanprobablethatsomeofherfriends,whenitwasknownhowbadshewas,wouldvisither.

Shesaidtheplace,whenshewasfirstbroughtintoit,wasindeedveryshockingtoher:butthatshehadfoundherselfsoweakandill,andhergriefshadsosunkher,thatshedidnotexpecttohavelivedtillnow:thatthereforeallplaceshadbeenaliketoher;fortodieinaprison,wastodie;andequallyeligibleastodieinapalace,[palaces,shesaid,couldhavenoattractionsforadyingperson:]butthat,sinceshe

fearedshewasnotsosoontobereleased,asshehadhoped;sinceshewassufferedtobesolittlemistressofherselfhere;andsinceshemight,byremoval,beinthewayofherdearfriend'sletters;shewouldhopethatshemightdependupontheassurancesIgaveherofbeingatlibertytoreturntoherlastlodgings,(otherwiseshewouldprovideherselfwithnewones,outofmyknowledge,aswellasyour's;)andthatIwastoomuchofagentleman,tobeconcernedincarryingherbacktothehouseshehadsomuchreasontoabhor,andtowhichshehadbeenoncebeforemostvilelybetrayedtoherruin.



Iassuredher,inthestrongestterms[butsworenot,]thatyouwereresolvednottomolesther:and,asaproofofthesincerityofmyprofessions,besoughthertogivemedirections,(inpursuanceofmyfriend'sexpressdesire,)aboutsendingallherapparel,andwhateverbelongedtoher,tohernewlodgings.

Sheseemedpleased;andgavemeinstantlyoutofherpocketherkeys;askingme,IfMrs.Smith,whomIhadnamed,mightnotattendme;andshewouldgiveherfurtherdirections?TowhichIcheerfullyassented;andthenshetoldmethatshewouldacceptofthechairIhadofferedher.

Iwithdrew;andtooktheopportunitytobeciviltoRowlandandhismaid;forshefoundnofaultwiththeirbehaviour,forwhattheywere;andthefellowseemstobemiserablypoor.Isentalsofortheapothecary,whoisaspoorastheofficer,(andstillpoorer,Idaresay,astotheskillrequiredinhisbusiness,)andsatisfiedhimbeyondhishopes.

Thelady,afterIhadwithdrawn,attemptedtoreadthelettersIhadbroughther.Butshecouldreadbutalittlewayinoneofthem,andhadgreatemotionsuponit.

Shetoldthewomanshewouldtakeaspeedyopportunitytoacknowledgehercivilitiesandherhusband's,andtosatisfytheapothecary,whomightsendherhisbilltoherlodgings.

Shegavethemaidsomething;probablytheonlyhalf-guineashehad:andthenwithdifficulty,herlimbstremblingunderher,andsupportedbyMrs.Rowland,gotdownstairs.

Iofferedmyarm:shewaspleasedtoleanuponit.Idoubt,Sir,saidshe,asshemoved,Ihavebehavedrudelytoyou:but,ifyouknewall,youwouldforgiveme.

Iknowenough,Madam,toconvinceme,thatthereisnotsuchpurityandhonourinanywomanuponearth;noranyonethathasbeensobarbarouslytreated.

Shelookedatmeveryearnestly.Whatshethought,Icannotsay;but,ingeneral,Ineversawsomuchsoulinawoman'seyesasinher's.

Iorderedmyservant,(whosemourningmadehimlessobservableassuch,andwhohadnotbeeninthelady'seye,)tokeepthechairinview;andtobringmeword,howshedid,whensetdown.Thefellowhadthethoughttostepintotheshop,justbeforethechairenteredit,underpretenceofbuyingsnuff;andsoenabledhimselftogivemeanaccount,thatshewasreceivedwithgreatjoybythegoodwomanofthehouse;whotoldher,shewasbutjustcomein;andwaspreparingtoattendherinHighHolborn.--OMrs.Smith,saidshe,assoonasshesawher,didyounotthinkIwasrunaway?--Youdon'tknowwhatIhavesufferedsinceIsawyou.Ihavebeeninaprison!----ArrestedfordebtsIowenot!--But,

thankGod,Iamhere!--Willyourmaid--Ihaveforgothernamealready----

Catharine,Madam----

WillyouletCatharineassistmetobed?--IhavenothadmyclothesoffsinceThursdaynight.

Whatshefurthersaidthefellowheardnot,sheleaninguponthemaid,andgoingupstairs.



Butdostthounotobserve,whatastrange,whatanuncommonopennessofheartreignsinthislady?Shehadbeeninaprison,shesaid,beforeastrangerintheshop,andbeforethemaid-servant:andso,probably,shewouldhavesaid,hadtherebeentwentypeopleintheshop.

Thedisgraceshecannothidefromherself,asshesaysinherlettertoLadyBetty,sheisnotsolicitoustoconcealfromtheworld!

Butthismakesitevidenttome,thatsheisresolvedtokeepnotermswiththee.Andyettobeabletoputupsuchaprayerforthee,asshedidinherprison;[Iwilloftenmentiontheprison-room,toteasethee!]Doesthisnotshow,thatrevengehasverylittleswayinhermind;thoughshecanretainsomuchproperresentment?

Andthisisanotherexcellenceinthisadmirablewoman'scharacter:forwhom,beforeher,havewemetwithinthewholesex,orinourseither,thatknewhow,inpractice,todistinguishbetweenREVENGEandRESENTMENT,forbaseandungratefultreatment?

'Tisacursedthing,afterall,thatsuchawomanasthisshouldbetreatedasshehasbeentreated.Hadstthoubeenaking,anddoneasthouhastdonebysuchameritoriousinnocent,Ibelieve,inmyheart,itwouldhavebeenadjudgedtobeanationalsin,andthesword,thepestilence,orfamine,musthaveatonedforit!--Butasthouarta

privateman,thouwiltcertainlymeetwiththypunishment,(besideswhatthoumayestexpectfromthejusticeofthecountry,andthevengeanceofherfriends,)asshewillherreward,HEREAFTER.

Itmustbeso,iftherebereallysuchathingasfutureremuneration;asnowIammoreandmoreconvincedtheremust:--Else,whatahardfateisher's,whosepunishment,toallappearance,hassomuchexceededherfault?And,astothine,howcantemporaryburnings,wertthoubysomeaccidenttobeconsumedinthybed,expiateforthyabominablevilenesstoher,inbreachofallobligationsmoralanddivine?

Iwasresolvedtolosenotimeinhavingeverythingwhichbelongedtotheladyatthecursedwoman'ssenther.Accordingly,Itookcoachto

Smith's,andprocuredthelady,(towhomIsentupmycompliments,andinquirieshowsheboreherremoval,)illasshesentdownwordshewas,togiveproperdirectiontoMrs.Smith:whomItookwithmetoSinclair's:andwhosaweverythinglookedout,andputintothetrunksandboxestheywerefirstbroughtin,andcarriedawayintwocoaches.

HadInotbeenthere,SallyandPollywouldeachofthemhavetakentoherselfsomethingofthepoorlady'sspoils.Thistheydeclared:andIhadsomedifficultytogetfromSallyafineBrussels-lacehead,whichshehadtheconfidencetosayshewouldwearforMissHarlowe'ssake.NorshouldeitherIorMrs.Smithhaveknownshehadgotit,hadshenotbeeninsearchoftherufflesbelongingtoit.

Myresentmentonthisoccasion,andtheconversationwhichMrs.SmithandIhad,(inwhichInotonlyexpatiatedonthemeritsofthelady,butexpressedmyconcernforhersufferings;thoughIleftherroomtosupposehermarried,yetwithoutaverringit,)gavemehighcreditwiththegoodwoman:sothatweareperfectlywellacquaintedalready:bywhichmeansIshallbeenabledtogiveyouaccountsfromtimetotimeofallthatpasses;andwhichIwillbeveryindustrioustodo,providedImaydependuponthesolemnpromisesIhavegiventhelady,inyourname,aswellasinmyown,thatsheshallbefreefromallpersonalmolestationfromyou.AndthusshallIhaveitinmypowertoreturnin



kindyourwritingfavours;andpreservemyshort-handbesides:which,tillthiscorrespondencewasopened,Ihadprettymuchneglected.

Iorderedtheabandonedwomentomakeoutyouraccount.Theyanswered,Thattheywoulddoitwithavengeance.Indeedtheybreathenothingbutvengeance.Fornow,theysay,youwillassuredlymarry;andyourexamplewillbefollowedbyallyourfriendsandcompanions--astheoldonesays,totheutterruinofherpoorhouse.

LETTERXIX

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.TUESDAYMORN.JULY18,SIXO'CLOCK.

Havingsatupsolatetofinishandsealinreadinessmylettertotheaboveperiod,IamdisturbedbeforeIwishedtohaverisen,bythearrivalofthysecondfellow,manandhorseinafoam.

Whilehebaits,Iwillwriteafewlines,mostheartilytocongratulatetheeonthyexpectedrageandimpatience,andonthyrecoveryofmentalfeeling.

Howmuchdoestheideathougivestmeofthydeservedtorments,bythyuprightawls,bodkins,pins,andpacking-needles,bythyrollinghogsheadwithironspikes,andbythymaceratedsides,delightme!

Iwill,uponeveryoccasionthatoffers,drivemorespikesintothyhogshead,androlltheedownhill,andup,asthourecoveresttosense,orratherreturnestbacktosenselessness.Thouknowestthereforethetermsonwhichthouarttoenjoymycorrespondence.AmnotI,whohaveallalong,andintime,protestedagainstthybarbarousandungratefulperfidiestoawomansonoble,entitledtodriveremorse,ifpossible,intothyhitherto-callousheart?

Onlyletmerepeatonething,whichperhapsImentionedtooslightlybefore.Thattheladywasdeterminedtoremovetonewlodgings,whereneitheryounorIshouldbeabletofindher,hadInotsolemnlyassuredher,thatshemightdependuponbeingfreefromyourvisits.

TheseassurancesIthoughtImightgiveher,notonlybecauseofyourpromise,butbecauseitisnecessaryforyoutoknowwheresheis,inordertoaddressyourselftoherbyyourfriends.

Enablemethereforetomakegoodtoherthismysolemnengagement;oradieutoallfriendship,atleasttoallcorrespondence,withtheeforever.

J.BELFORD.

LETTERXX

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.TUESDAY,JULY18.AFTERNOON.



Irenewedmyinquiriesafterthelady'shealth,inthemorning,bymyservant:and,assoonasIhaddined,Iwentmyself.

Ihadbutapooraccountofit:yetsentupmycompliments.Shereturnedmethanksforallmygoodoffices;andherexcuses,thattheycouldnotbepersonaljustthen,beingverylowandfaint:butifIgavemyselfthetroubleofcomingaboutsixthisevening,sheshouldbeable,shehoped,todrinkadishofteawithme,andwouldthenthankmeherself.

Iamveryproudofthiscondescension;andthinkitlooksnotamissforyou,asIamyouravowedfriend.MethinksIwantfullytoremovefromhermindalldoubtsofyouinthislastvillanousaction:andwhoknowsthenwhatyournoblerelationsmaybeabletodoforyouwithher,ifyouholdyourmind?ForyourservantacquaintedmewiththeirhavingactuallyengagedMissHoweintheirandyourfavour,beforethiscursedaffairhappened.AndIdesiretheparticularsofallfromyourself,thatImaythebetterknowhowtoserveyou.

Shehastwohandsomeapartments,abed-chamberanddining-room,withlightclosetsineach.Shehasalreadyanurse,(thepeopleofthehousehavingbutonemaid,)awomanwhosecare,diligence,andhonesty,Mrs.Smithhighlycommends.Shehaslikewisethebenefitofawidowgentlewoman,Mrs.Lovickhername,wholodgesoverherapartment,andofwhomsheseemsveryfond,havingfoundsomethinginher,shethinks,

resemblingthequalitiesofherworthyMrs.Norton.Aboutseveno'clockthismorning,itseems,theladywassoill,thatsheyieldedtotheirdesirestohaveanapothecarysentfor--notthefellow,thoumayestbelieve,shehadhadbeforeatRowland's;butoneMr.Goddard,amanofskillandeminence;andofconsciencetoo;demonstratedaswellbygeneralcharacter,asbyhisprescriptionstothislady:forpronouncinghercasetobegrief,heordered,forthepresent,onlyinnocentjuleps,bywayofcordial;and,assoonasherstomachshouldbeabletobearit,lightkitchen-diet;tellingMrs.Lovick,thatthat,withair,moderateexercise,andcheerfulcompany,woulddohermoregoodthanallthemedicinesinhisshop.

Thishasgivenme,asitseemsithasthelady,(whoalsopraiseshismodestbehaviour,paternallooks,andgenteeladdress,)averygoodopinionoftheman;andIdesigntomakemyselfacquaintedwithhim,and,ifheadvisestocallinadoctor,towishhim,forthefairpatient'ssake,morethanthephysician's,(whowantsnotpractice,)myworthyfriendDr.H.--whosecharacterisaboveallexception,ashishumanity,Iamsure,willdistinguishhimtothelady.

Mrs.Lovickgratifiedmewithanaccountofalettershehadwrittenfromthelady'smouthtoMissHowe;shebeingunabletowriteherselfwithsteadiness.

Itwastothiseffect;inanswer,itseems,tohertwoletters,whatever

werethecontentsofthem:

'Thatshehadbeeninvolvedinadreadfulcalamity,whichshewassure,whenknown,wouldexemptherfromtheeffectsofherfriendlydispleasure,fornotansweringherfirst;havingbeenputunderanarrest.--Couldshehavebelievedit?--Thatshewasreleasedbutthedaybefore:andwasnowsoweakandsolow,thatshewasobligedtoaccountthusforhersilencetoher[MissHowe's]twolettersofthe13thand16th:thatshewould,assoonasable,answerthem--beggedofher,meantime,nottobeuneasyforher;since(onlythatthiswasacalamity



whichcameuponherwhenshewasfarfrombeingwell,aloadlaidupontheshouldersofapoorwretch,readybeforetosinkundertooheavyaburden)itwasnothingtotheevilshehadbeforesuffered:andonefelicityseemedlikelytoissuefromit;whichwas,thatshewouldbeatrest,inanhonesthouse,withconsiderateandkind-heartedpeople;havingassurancegivenher,thatsheshouldnotbemolestedbythewretch,whomitwouldbedeathforhertosee:sothatnowshe,[MissHowe,]needednottosendtoherbyprivateandexpensiveconveyances:norneedCollinstotakeprecautionsforfearofbeingdoggedtoherlodgings;norneedshewritebyafictitiousnametoher,butbyherown.'

YoucanseeIaminawaytoobligeyou:youseehowmuchshedependsuponmyengagingforyourforbearingtointrudeyourselfintohercompany:letnotyourflamingimpatiencedestroyall;andmakemelooklikeavillaintoaladywhohasreasontosuspecteverymansheseestobeso.--Uponthiscondition,youmayexpectalltheservicesthatcanflowfrom

Yoursincerewell-wisher,J.BELFORD.

LETTERXXIMR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.TUESDAYNIGHT,JULY18.

Iamjustcomefromthelady.Iwasadmittedintothedining-room,whereshewassittinginanelbow-chair,inaveryweakandlowway.ShemadeanefforttostandupwhenIentered;butwasforcedtokeepherseat.You'llexcuseme,Mr.Belford:Ioughttorisetothankyouforallyourkindnesstome.Iwastoblametobesolothtoleavethatsadplace;forIaminheavenhere,towhatIwasthere;andgoodpeopleaboutmetoo!--Ihavenothadgoodpeopleaboutmeforalong,longtimebefore;

sothat[withahalf-smile]Ihadbeguntowonderwhithertheywereallgone.

HernurseandMrs.Smith,whowerepresent,tookoccasiontoretire:and,whenwewerealone,Youseemtobeapersonofhumanity,Sir,saidshe:youhinted,asIwasleavingmyprison,thatyouwerenotastrangertomysadstory.Ifyouknowittruly,youmustknowthatIhavebeenmostbarbarouslytreated;andhavenotdeserveditattheman'shandsbywhomIhavesuffered.

ItoldherIknewenoughtobeconvincedthatshehadthemeritofasaint,andthepurityofanangel:andwasproceeding,whenshesaid,Noflightycompliments!noundueattributes,Sir!

Iofferedtopleadformysincerity;andmentionedthewordpoliteness;andwouldhavedistinguishedbetweenthatandflattery.Nothingcanbepolite,saidshe,thatisnotjust:whateverImayhavehad;Ihavenownovanitytogratify.

Idisclaimedallintentionsofcompliment:allIhadsaid,andwhatIshouldsay,was,andshouldbe,theeffectofsincereveneration.Myunhappyfriend'saccountofherhadentitledhertothat.



Ithenmentionedyourgrief,yourpenitence,yourresolutionsofmakingheralltheamendsthatwerepossiblenowtobemadeher:andinthemostearnestmanner,Iassertedyourinnocenceastothelastvillanousoutrage.

Heranswerwastothiseffect--Itispainfultometothinkofhim.Theamendsyoutalkofcannotbemade.Thislastviolenceyouspeakof,isnothingtowhatprecededit.Thatcannotbeatonedfor:norpalliated:thismay:andIshallnotbesorrytobeconvincedthathecannotbeguiltyofsoverylowawickedness.----Yet,afterhisvileforgeriesofhands--afterhisbasenessinimposinguponmethemostinfamouspersonsasladiesofhonourofhisownfamily--whataretheiniquitiesheisnotcapableof?

Iwouldthenhavegivenheranaccountofthetrialyoustoodwithyourfriends:yourownpreviousresolutionsofmarriage,hadshehonouredyouwiththerequestedfourwords:allyourfamily'searnestnesstohavethehonourofheralliance:andtheapplicationofyourtwocousinstoMissHowe,bygeneralconsent,forthatyounglady'sinterestwithher:but,havingjusttoucheduponthesetopics,shecutmeshort,saying,thatwasacausebeforeanothertribunal:MissHowe'sletterstoherwereuponthesubject;andasshewouldwriteherthoughtstoherassoonasshewasable.

IthenattemptedmoreparticularlytoclearyouofhavinganyhandinthevileSinclair'sofficiousarrest;apointshehadthegenerositytowishyouclearedof:and,havingmentionedtheoutrageousletteryouhadwrittentomeonthisoccasion,sheasked,IfIhadthatletteraboutme?

IownedIhad.

Shewishedtoseeit.

Thispuzzledmehorribly:foryoumustneedsthinkthatmostofthefreethings,which,amongusrakes,passforwitandspirit,mustbeshockingstufftotheearsoreyesofpersonsofdelicacyofthatsex:andthensuchanairoflevityrunsthroughthymostseriousletters;suchafalse

bravery,endeavouringtocarryoffludicrouslythesubjectsthatmostaffectthee;thatthoselettersaregenerallytheleastfittobeseen,whichoughttobemosttothycredit.

SomethinglikethisIobservedtoher;andwouldfainhaveexcusedmyselffromshowingit:butshewassoearnest,thatIundertooktoreadsomepartsofit,resolvingtoomitthemostexceptionable.

Iknowthou'ltcursemeforthat;butIthoughtitbettertoobligeherthantobesuspectedmyself;andsonothaveitinmypowertoservetheewithher,whensogoodafoundationwaslaidforit;andwhensheknowsasbadoftheeasIcantellher.

Thourememberestthecontents,Isuppose,ofthyfuriousletter.*Herremarksuponthedifferentpartsofit,whichIreadtoher,weretothefollowingeffect:

*SeeLetterXII.ofthisvolume.

Uponthelasttwolines,Allundone!undone,byJupiter!Zounds,Jack,whatshallIdonow?acurseuponallmyplotsandcontrivances!thusshe



expressedherself:

'Ohowlight,howunaffectedwiththesenseofitsowncrimes,istheheartthatcoulddictatetothepenthislibertinefroth?'

Theparagraphwhichmentionsthevilearrestaffectedheragooddeal.

InthenextIomittedthycurseuponthyrelations,whomthouwertgallanting:andreadonthesevensubsequentparagraphsdowntothyexecrablewish;whichwastooshockingtoreadtoher.WhatIreadproducedthefollowingreflectionsfromher:

'Theplotsandcontrivanceswhichhecurses,andtheexultingsofthewickedwretchesonfindingmeout,showmethatallhisguiltwaspremeditated:nordoubtIthathisdreadfulperjuries,andinhumanarts,ashewentalong,weretopassforfinestratagems;forwittysport;andtodemonstrateasuperiorityofinventivetalents!--Omycruel,cruelbrother!haditnotbeenforthee,Ihadnotbeenthrownuponsoperniciousandsodespicableaplotter!--Butproceed,Sir;prayproceed.'

Atthatpart,Canstthou,Ofatalprognosticator!tellmewheremypunishmentwillend?--shesighed.AndwhenIcametothatsentence,prayingformyreformation,perhaps--Isthatthere?saidshe,sighingagain.Wretchedman!--andshedatearforthee.--Bymyfaith,Lovelace,

Ibelieveshehatestheenot!shehasatleastaconcern,agenerousconcernforthyfuturehappiness--Whatanoblecreaturehastthouinjured!

Shemadeaveryseverereflectionuponme,onreadingthewords--Onyourknees,forme,begherpardon--'Youhadallyourlessons,Sir,saidshe,whenyoucametoredeemme--Youwassocondescendingastokneel:Ithoughtitwastheeffectofyourownhumanity,andgood-naturedearnestnesstoserveme--excuseme,Sir,Iknewnotthatitwasinconsequenceofaprescribedlesson.'

Thisconcernedmenotalittle;Icouldnotbeartobethoughtsuchawretchedpuppet,suchaJosephLeman,suchaTomlinson.Iendeavoured,

therefore,withsomewarmth,toclearmyselfofthisreflection;andsheagainaskedmyexcuse:'Iwasavowedly,shesaid,thefriendofaman,whosefriendship,shehadreasontobesorrytosay,wasnocredittoanybody.'--Anddesiredmetoproceed.

Idid;butfarednotmuchbetterafterwards:foronthatpassagewhereyousay,Ihadalwaysbeenherfriendandadvocate,thiswasherunanswerableremark:'Ifind,Sir,bythisexpression,thathehadalwaysdesignsagainstme;andthatyouallalongknewthathehad.WouldtoHeaven,youhadhadthegoodnesstohavecontrivedsomeway,thatmightnothaveendangeredyourownsafety,togivemenoticeofhisbaseness,sinceyouapprovednotofit!Butyougentlemen,Isuppose,hadratherseeaninnocentfellow-creatureruined,thanbethoughtcapableofan

action,which,howevergenerous,mightbelikelytoloosenthebandsofawickedfriendship!'

Afterthissevere,butjustreflection,Iwouldhaveavoidedreadingthefollowing,althoughIhadunawaresbegunthesentence,(butsheheldmetoit:)WhatwouldInowgive,hadIpermittedyoutohavebeenasuccessfuladvocate!Andthiswasherremarkuponit--'So,Sir,yousee,ifyouhadbeenthehappymeansofpreventingtheevilsdesignedme,youwouldhavehadyourfriend'sthanksforitwhenhecametohisconsideration.Thissatisfaction,Iampersuadedeveryone,inthelong



run,willenjoy,whohasthevirtuetowithstand,orprevent,awickedpurpose.Iwasobliged,Isee,toyourkindwishes--butitwasapointofhonourwithyoutokeephissecret;themoreindispensablewithyou,perhaps,thevilerthesecret.Yetpermitmetowish,Mr.Belford,thatyouwerecapableofrelishingthepleasuresthatarisetoabenevolentmindfromVIRTUOUSfriendship!--noneotherisworthyofthesacredname.Youseemanhumaneman:Ihope,foryourownsake,youwillonedayexperiencethedifference:and,whenyoudo,thinkofMissHoweandClarissaHarlowe,(Ifindyouknowmuchofmysadstory,)whowerethehappiestcreaturesonearthineachother'sfriendshiptillthisfriendofyour's'--Andthereshestopt,andturnedfromme.

Wherethoucallestthyselfavillanousplotter;'Totakeacrimetohimself,saidshe,withoutshame,Owhatahardenedwretchisthisman!'

Onthatpassage,wherethousayest,Letmeknowhowshehasbeentreated:ifroughly,woebetotheguilty!thiswasherremark,withanairofindignation:'Whatamanisyourfriend,Sir!--Issuchaoneashetosethimselfuptopunishtheguilty?--AlltheroughusageIcouldreceivefromthem,wasinfinitelyless'--Andthereshestoptamomentortwo:thenproceeding--'Andwhoshallpunishhim?whatanassumingwretch!--Nobodybuthimselfisentitledtoinjuretheinnocent;--heis,Isuppose,ontheearth,toactthepartwhichthemalignantfiendissupposedtoactbelow--dealingoutpunishments,athispleasure,toeveryinferior

instrumentofmischief!'What,thoughtI,haveIbeendoing!IshallhavethissavagefellowthinkIhavebeenplayinghimbooty,inreadingpartofhislettertothissagaciouslady!--Yet,ifthouartangry,itcanonly,inreason,beatthyself;forwhowouldthinkImightnotcommunicatetohersomeofthysincerityinexculpatingthyselffromacriminalcharge,whichthouwrotesttothyfriend,toconvincehimofthyinnocence?Butabadheart,andabadcauseareconfoundedthings:andsoletusputittoitsproperaccount.

Ipassedoverthychargetome,tocursethembythehour;andthynamesofdragonandserpents,thoughsoapplicable;since,hadIreadthem,

thoumusthavebeensupposedtoknowfromthefirstwhatcreaturestheywere;vilefellowasthouwert,forbringingsomuchpurityamongthem!AndIclosedwiththyownconcludingparagraph,Aline!aline!akingdomforaline!&c.However,tellingher(sinceshesawthatIomittedsomesentences)thattherewerefarthervehemencesinit;butastheywerebetterfittedtoshowtomethesincerityofthewriterthanforsodelicateanearasher'stohear,Ichosetopassthemover.

Youhavereadenough,saidshe--heisawicked,wickedman!--Iseeheintendedtohavemeinhispoweratanyrate;andIhavenodoubtofwhathispurposeswere,bywhathisactionshavebeen.YouknowhisvileTomlinson,Isuppose--Youknow--Butwhatsignifiestalking?--Neverwastheresuchapremeditatedfalseheartinman,[nothingcanbetruer,

thoughtI!]Whathashenotvowed!whathashenotinvented!andallforwhat?--Onlytoruinapooryoungcreature,whomheoughttohaveprotected;andwhomhehadfirstdeceivedofallotherprotection!

Shearoseandturnedfromme,herhandkerchiefathereyes:and,afterapause,cametowardsmeagain--'Ihope,saidshe,Italktoamanwhohasabetterheart:andIthankyou,Sir,forallyourkind,thoughineffectualpleasinmyfavourformerly,whetherthemotivesforthemwerecompassion,orprinciple,orboth.Thattheywereineffectual,mightveryprobablybeowingtoyourwantofearnestness;andthat,as



youmightthink,tomywantofmerit.Imightnot,inyoureye,deservetobesaved!--Imightappeartoyouagiddycreature,whohadrunawayfromhertrueandnaturalfriends;andwhothereforeoughttotaketheconsequenceofthelotshehaddrawn.'

Iwasafraid,forthysake,toletherknowhowveryearnestIhadbeen:butassuredherthatIhadbeenherzealousfriend;andthatmymotiveswerefoundeduponamerit,that,Ibelieved,wasneverequaled:that,howeverindefensibleMr.Lovelacewas,hehadalwaysdonejusticetohervirtue:thattoafullconvictionofheruntaintedhonouritwasowingthathesoearnestlydesiredtocallsoinestimableajewelhis--andwasproceeding,whensheagaincutmeshort--

Enough,andtoomuch,ofthissubject,Sir!--Ifhewillnevermoreletmebeholdhisface,thatisallIhavenowtoaskofhim.--Indeed,indeed,claspingherhands,Ineverwill,ifIcan,byanymeansnotcriminallydesperate,avoidit.

WhatcouldIsayforthee?--Therewasnoroom,however,atthattime,totouchthisstringagain,forfearofbringinguponmyselfaprohibition,notonlyofthesubject,butofeverattendingheragain.

Igavesomedistantintimationsofmoney-matters.Ishouldhavetoldthee,whenIreadtoherthatpassage,wherethoubiddestmeforcewhat

sumsuponherIcangethertotake--sherepeated,No,no,no,no!severaltimeswithgreatquickness;andIdurstnomorethanjustintimateitagain--andthatsodarkly,asleftherroomtoseemnottounderstandme.

IndeedIknownottheperson,manorwoman,Ishouldbesomuchafraidofdisobliging,orincurringacensurefrom,asfromher.Shehassomuchtruedignityinhermanner,withoutprideorarrogance,(which,inthosewhohaveeither,oneistemptedtomortify,)suchapiercingeye,yetsoftenedsosweetlywithraysofbenignity,thatshecommandsallone'sreverence.

MethinksIhaveakindofholyloveforthisangelofawoman;anditis

matterofastonishmenttome,thatthoucouldstconversewithheraquarterofanhourtogether,andholdthydevilishpurposes.

Guardedasshewasbypiety,prudence,virtue,dignity,family,fortune,andapurityofheartthatneverwomanbeforeherboasted,whatarealdevilmusthebe(yetIdoubtIshallmaketheeproud!)whocouldresolvetobreakthroughsomanyfences!

Formyownpart,IammoreandmoresensiblethatIoughtnottohavecontentedmyselfwithrepresentingagainst,andexpostulatingwiththeeupon,thybaseintentions:andindeedIhaditinmyhead,morethanonce,totrytodosomethingforher.But,wretchthatIwas!Iwaswith-heldbynotionsoffalsehonour,asshejustlyreproachedme,

becauseofthyownvoluntarycommunicationstomeofthypurposes:andthen,asshewasbroughtintosuchacursedhouse,andwassowatchedbythyself,aswellasbythyinfernalagents,Ithought(knowingmyman!)thatIshouldonlyacceleratetheintendedmischiefs.--Moreover,findingtheesomuchover-awedbyhervirtue,thatthouhadstnot,atthyfirstcarryingherthither,thecouragetoattempther;andthatshehad,morethanonce,withoutknowingthybaseviews,obligedtheetoabandonthem,andtoresolvetodoherjustice,andthyselfhonour;Ihardlydoubted,thathermeritwouldbetriumphantatlast.



Itismyopinion,(ifthouholdestthypurposestomarry,)thatthoucanstnotdobetterthantoprocurethyrealaunts,andthyrealcousins,topayheravisit,andtobethyadvocates.Butiftheydeclinepersonalvisits,lettersfromthem,andfrommyLordM.supportedbyMissHowe'sinterest,may,perhaps,effectsomethinginthyfavour.

Buttheseareonlymyhopes,foundedonwhatIwishforthysake.Thelady,Ireallythink,wouldchoosedeathratherthanthee:andthetwowomenareofopinion,thoughtheyknewnothalfofwhatshehassuffered,thatherheartisactuallybroken.

Attakingmyleave,Itenderedmybestservicestoher,andbesoughthertopermitmefrequentlytoinquireafterherhealth.

Shemademenoanswer,butbybowingherhead.

LETTERXXII

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.WEDNESDAY,JULY19.

ThismorningItookachairtoSmith's;and,beingtoldthattheladyhadaverybadnight,butwasup,Isentforherworthyapothecary;who,onhiscomingtome,approvingofmyproposalofcallinginDr.H.,Ibidthewomanacquaintherwiththedesignedvisit.

Itseemsshewasatfirstdispleased;yetwithdrewherobjection:but,afterapause,askedthem,Whatsheshoulddo?Shehadeffectsofvalue,someofwhichsheintended,assoonasshecould,toturnintomoney,but,tillthen,hadnotasingleguineatogivethedoctorforhisfee.

Mrs.Lovicksaid,shehadfiveguineasbyher;theywereatherservice.

Shewouldacceptofthree,shesaid,ifshewouldtakethat(pullinga

diamondringfromherfinger)tillsherepaidher;butonnootherterms.

HavingbeentoldIwasbelowwithMr.Goddard,shedesiredtospeakonewordwithme,beforeshesawtheDoctor.

Shewassittinginanelbow-chair,leaningherheadonapillow;Mrs.Smithandthewidowoneachsideherchair;hernurse,withaphialofhartshorn,behindher;inherownhandhersalts.

Raisingherheadatmyentrance,sheinquirediftheDoctorknewMr.Lovelace.

Itoldherno;andthatIbelievedyouneversawhiminyourlife.

WastheDoctormyfriend?

Hewas;andaveryworthyandskilfulman.Inamedhimforhiseminenceinhisprofession:andMr.Goddardsaidheknewnotabetterphysician.

IhavebutoneconditiontomakebeforeIseethegentleman;thatherefusenothisfeesfromme.IfIampoor,Sir,Iamproud.Iwillnotbeunderobligation,youmaybelieve,Sir,Iwillnot.Isufferthisvisit,becauseIwouldnotappearungratefultothefewfriendsIhave



left,norobstinatetosuchofmyrelations,asmaysometimehence,fortheirprivatesatisfaction,inquireaftermybehaviourinmysickhours.So,Sir,youknowthecondition.Anddon'tletmebevexed.'Iamveryill!andcannotdebatethematter.'

Seeinghersodetermined,Itoldher,ifitmustbeso,itshould.

Then,Sir,thegentlemanmaycome.ButIshallnotbeabletoanswermanyquestions.Nurse,youcantellhimatthewindowtherewhatanightIhavehad,andhowIhavebeenfortwodayspast.AndMr.Goddard,ifhebehere,canlethimknowwhatIhavetaken.Prayletmebeaslittlequestionedaspossible.

TheDoctorpaidhisrespectstoherwiththegentlemanlyaddressforwhichheisnoted:andshecastuphersweeteyestohimwiththatbenignitywhichaccompanieshereverygracefullook.

Iwouldhaveretired:butsheforbidit.

Hetookherhand,thelilynotofsobeautifulawhite:Indeed,Madam,youareverylow,saidhe:butgivemeleavetosay,thatyoucandomoreforyourselfthanallthefacultycandoforyou.

Hethenwithdrewtothewindow.And,afterashortconferencewiththe

women,heturnedtome,andtoMr.Goddard,attheotherwindow:Wecandonothinghere,(speakinglow,)butbycordialsandnourishment.Whatfriendshasthelady?Sheseemstobeapersonofcondition;and,illassheis,averyfinewoman.----Asinglelady,Ipresume?

Iwhisperinglytoldhimshewas.Thattherewereextraordinarycircumstancesinhercase;asIwouldhaveapprizedhim,hadImetwithhimyesterday:thatherfriendswereverycrueltoher;butthatshecouldnothearthemnamedwithoutreproachingherself;thoughtheyweremuchmoretoblamethanshe.

IknewIwasright,saidtheDoctor.Alove-case,Mr.Goddard!alove-case,Mr.Belford!thereisonepersonintheworldwhocandoher

moreservicethanallthefaculty.

Mr.Goddardsaidhehadapprehendedherdisorderwasinhermind;andhadtreatedheraccordingly:andthentoldtheDoctorwhathehaddone:whichheapprovingof,againtakinghercharminghand,said,Mygoodyounglady,youwillrequireverylittleofourassistance.Youmust,inagreatmeasure,beyourownassistance.Youmust,inagreatmeasure,beyourowndoctress.Come,dearMadam,[forgivemethefamiliartenderness;youraspectcommandsloveaswellasreverence;andafatherofchildren,someofthemolderthanyourself,maybeexcusedforhisfamiliaraddress,]cheerupyourspirits.Resolvetodoallinyourpowertobewell;andyou'llsoongrowbetter.

Youareverykind,Sir,saidshe.Iwilltakewhateveryoudirect.Myspiritshavebeenhurried.Ishallbebetter,Ibelieve,beforeIamworse.Thecareofmygoodfriendshere,lookingatthewomen,shallnotmeetwithanungratefulreturn.

TheDoctorwrote.Hewouldfainhavedeclinedhisfee.Ashermalady,hesaid,wasrathertoberelievedbythesoothingsofafriend,thanbytheprescriptionsofaphysician,heshouldthinkhimselfgreatlyhonouredtobeadmittedrathertoadviseherintheonecharacter,thantoprescribetoherintheother.



Sheanswered,Thatsheshouldbealwaysgladtoseesohumaneaman:thathisvisitswouldkeepherincharitywithhissex:butthat,where[sic]sheabletoforgetthathewasherphysician,shemightbeapttoabateoftheconfidenceinhisskill,whichmightbenecessarytoeffecttheamendmentthatwastheendofhisvisits.

Andwhenheurgedherstillfurther,whichhedidinaverypolitemanner,andaspassingbythedoortwoorthreetimesaday,shesaidsheshouldalwayshavepleasureinconsideringhiminthekindlightheofferedhimselftoher:thatthatmightbeverygenerousinonepersontooffer,whichwouldbeasungenerousinanothertoaccept:thatindeedshewasnotatpresenthighincircumstance;andhesawbythetender,(whichhemustacceptof,)thatshehadgreaterrespecttoherownconveniencethantohismerit,orthantothepleasuresheshouldtakeinhisvisits.

Weallwithdrewtogether;andtheDoctorandMr.Goddardhavingagreatcuriositytoknowsomethingmoreofherstory,atthemotionofthelatterwewentintoaneighbouringcoffee-house,andIgavethem,inconfidence,abriefrelationofit;makingallaslightforyouasIcould;andyetyou'llsuppose,that,inordertodobutcommonjusticetothelady'scharacter,heavymustbethatlight.

THREEO'CLOCK,AFTERNOON.IjustnowcalledagainatSmith's;andamtoldsheissomewhatbetter;whichsheattributedtothesoothingsofherDoctor.Sheexpressedherselfhighlypleasedwithbothgentlemen;andsaidthattheirbehaviourtoherwasperfectlypaternal.----

Paternal,poorlady!----neverhavingbeen,tillverylately,fromunderherparents'wings,andnowabandonedbyallherfriends,sheisforfindingoutsomethingpaternalandmaternalineveryone,(thelatterqualitiesinMrs.LovickandMrs.Smith,)tosupplytoherselfthefatherandmotherherdutifulheartpantsafter.

Mrs.Smithtoldme,that,afterweweregone,shegavethekeysofhertrunkanddrawerstoherandthewidowLovick,anddesiredthemtotakeaninventoryofthem;whichtheydidinherpresence.

Theyalsoinformedme,thatshehadrequestedthemtofindherapurchaserfortworichdressedsuits;oneneverworn,theothernotaboveonceortwice.

Thisshockedmeexceedingly--perhapsitmaytheealittle!!!--Herreasonforsodoing,shetoldthem,was,thatsheshouldneverlivetowearthem:thathersister,andotherrelations,wereabovewearingthem:thathermotherwouldnotendureinhersightanythingthatwasher's:thatshewantedthemoney:thatshewouldnotbeobligedtoanybody,whenshe

hadeffectsbyherforwhichshehadnooccasion:andyet,saidshe,Iexpectnotthattheywillfetchapriceanswerabletotheirvalue.

Theywerebothverymuchconcerned,astheyowned;andaskedmyadviceuponit:andtherichnessofherapparelhavinggiventhemastillhighernotionofherrankthantheyhadbefore,theysupposedshemustbeofquality;andagainwantedtoknowherstory.

Itoldthem,thatshewasindeedawomanoffamilyandfortune:Istillgavethemroomtosupposehermarried:butleftittohertotellthem



allinherowntimeandmanner:allIwouldsaywas,thatshehadbeenveryvilelytreated;deserveditnot;andwasallinnocenceandpurity.

Youmaysupposethattheybothexpressedtheirastonishment,thattherecouldbeamanintheworldwhocouldilltreatsofineacreature.

Astothedisposingofthetwosuitsofapparel,ItoldMrs.Smiththatsheshouldpretendthat,uponinquiry,shehadfoundafriendwhowouldpurchasetherichestofthem;but(thatshemightnotmistrust)wouldstanduponagoodbargain.Andhavingtwentyguineasaboutme,Ileftthemwithher,inpartofpayment;andbidherpretendtogethertopartwithitforaslittlemoreasshecouldinducehertotake.

IamsettingoutforEdgewarewithpoorBelton--moreofwhominmynext.Ishallreturnto-morrow;andleavethisinreadinessforyourmessenger,ifhecallinmyabsence.

ADIEU.

LETTERXXIII


[INANSWERTOLETTERXXI.OFTHISVOLUME.]M.HALL,WED.NIGHT,JULY19.

YoumightwellapprehendthatIshouldthinkyouwereplayingmebootyincommunicatingmylettertothelady.

Youask,Whowouldthinkyoumightnotreadtohertheleastexceptionablepartsofaletterwritteninmyowndefence?--I'lltellyouwho--themanwho,inthesameletterthatheasksthisquestion,tellsthefriendwhomheexposestoherresentment,'Thatthereissuchanairoflevityrunsthroughhismostseriousletters,thatthoseofthisareleastfittobeseenwhichoughttobemosttohiscredit:'Andnowwhat

thinkestthouofthyself-condemnedfolly?Be,however,Ichargethee,morecircumspectforthefuture,thatsothisclumsyerrormaystandsinglybyitself.

'Itispainfultohertothinkofme!''Libertinefroth!''Soperniciousandsodespicableaplotter!''Amanwhosefriendshipisnocredittoanybody!''Hardenedwretch!''Thedevil'scounterpart!''Awicked,wickedman!'--Butdidshe,couldshe,daredshe,tosay,orimplyallthis?--andsayittoamanwhomshepraisesforhumanity,andpreferstomyselfforthatvirtue;whenallthehumanityheshows,andsheknowsittoo,isbymydirection--sorobsmeofthecreditofmyownworks;admirablyentitled,allthisshowsher,tothyrefinementuponthewordsresentmentandrevenge.Butthouwertalwaysaimingandblunderingatsomething

thounevercouldstmakeout.

Thepraisethougivesttoheringenuousness,isanotherofthypeculiars.Ithinknotasthoudost,ofhertell-talerecapitulationsandexclamations:--whatendcantheyanswer?--onlythatthouhastaholyloveforher,[thedevilfetchtheeforthyoddity!]oritisextremelyprovokingtosupposeoneseessuchacharmingcreaturestanduprightbeforealibertine,andtalkofthesinagainsther,thatcannotbeforgiven!--Iwish,atmyheart,thatthesechasteladieswouldhavealittlemodestyintheiranger!--Itwouldsoundverystrange,ifIRobert



Lovelaceshouldpretendtohavemoretruedelicacy,inapointthatrequirestheutmost,thanMissClarissaHarlowe.

IthinkIwillputitintotheheadofhernurseNorton,andherMissHowe,bysomeoneofmyagents,tochidethedearnoviceforherproclamations.

Buttobeserious:letmetellthee,that,severeassheis,andsaucy,inaskingsocontemptuously,'Whatamanisyourfriend,Sir,tosethimselftopunishguiltypeople!'Iwillneverforgivethecursedwoman,whocouldcommitthislasthorridviolenceonsoexcellentacreature.

Thebarbarousinsultsofthetwonymphs,intheirvisitstoher;thechoiceofthemostexecrabledenthatcouldbefoundout,inorder,nodoubt,toinducehertogobacktotheirs;andthestillmoreexecrableattempt,toproposetoheramanwhowouldpaythedebt;asnare,Imakenoquestion,laidforherdespairingandresentingheartbythatdevilishSally,(thinkingher,nodoubt,awoman,)inordertoruinherwithme;andtoprovokeme,inafury,togiveheruptotheirremorselesscruelty;areoutrages,that,toexpressmyselfinherstyle,Inevercan,neverwillforgive.

Butastothyopinion,andthetwowomen'satSmith's,thatherheartisbroken!thatisthetruewomen'slanguage:Iwonderhowthoucamestinto

it:thouwhohastseenandheardofsomanyfemaledeathsandrevivals.I'lltelltheewhatmakesagainstthisnotionoftheirs.

Hertimeoflife,andcharmingconstitution:thegoodsheeverdelightedtodo,andfancifiedshewasborntodo;andwhichshemaystillcontinuetodo,toashighadegreeasever;nay,higher:sinceIamnosordidvarlet,thouknowest:herreligiousturn:aturnthatwillalwaysteachhertobearinevitableevilswithpatience:thecontemplationuponherlastnobletriumphoverme,andoverthewholecrew;anduponhersucceedingescapefromusall:herwillunviolated:andtheinwardprideofhavingnotdeservedthetreatmentshehasmetwith.

Howisitpossibletoimagine,thatawoman,whohasalltheseconsolationstoreflectupon,willdieofabrokenheart?

Onthecontrary,Imakenodoubt,butthat,assherecoversfromthedejectionintowhichthislastscurvyvillany(whichnonebutwretchesofherownsexcouldhavebeenguiltyof)hasthrownher,returninglovewillre-enterhertime-pacifiedmind:herthoughtswillthenturnoncemoreontheconjugalpivot:ofcourseshewillhaveliveliernotionsinherhead;andthesewillmakeherperformallhercircumvolutionswitheaseandpleasure;thoughnotwithsohighadegreeofeither,asifthedearproudroguecouldhaveexaltedherselfabovetherestofhersex,assheturnedround.

Thouaskest,onrecitingthebitterinvectivesthattheladymadeagainstthypoorfriend,(standingbeforeher,Isuppose,withthyfingersinthymouth,)WhatcouldstthousayFORme?

HaveInot,inmyformerletters,suggestedanhundredthings,whichafriend,inearnesttovindicateorexcuseafriend,mightsayonsuchanoccasion?

Butnowtocurrenttopics,andthepresentstateofmattershere.--Itistrue,asmyservanttoldthee,thatMissHowehadengaged,beforethis



cursedwoman'sofficiousness,touseherinterestwithherfriendinmybehalf:andyetshetoldmycousins,inthevisittheymadeher,thatitwasheropinionthatshewouldneverforgiveme.IsendtotheeenclosedcopiesofallthatpassedonthisoccasionbetweenmycousinsMontague,MissHowe,myself,LadyBetty,LadySarah,andLordM.

IlongtoknowwhatMissHowewrotetoherfriend,inordertoinducehertomarrythedespicableplotter;themanwhosefriendshipisnocredittoanybody;thewicked,wickedman.Thouhadstthetwolettersinthyhand.Hadtheybeeninmine,thesealwouldhaveyieldedtothetouchofmywarmfinger,(perhapswithoutthehelpofthepost-officebullet;)andthefolds,asotherplacationshavedone,openedofthemselvestoobligemycuriosity.Awickedomission,Jack,nottocontrivetosendthemdowntomebymanandhorse!Itmighthavepassed,thatthemessengerwhobroughtthesecondletter,tookthembothback.Icouldhavereturnedthembyanother,whencopied,asfromMissHowe,andnobodybutmyselfandtheethewiser.

That'sacharminggirl!herspirit,herdelightfulspirit!--nottobemarriedtoit--howIwishtogetthatlivelybirdintomycage!howwouldImakeherflutterandflyabout!--tillsheleftafeatheruponeverywire!

HadIbegunthere,Iamconfident,asIhaveheretoforesaid,*thatI

shouldnothavehadhalfthedifficultywithherasIhavehadwithhercharmingfriend.Forthesepassionategirlshavehighpulses,andacleverfellowmaymakewhatsporthepleaseswiththeirunevenness--nowtoohigh,nowtoolow,youneedonlytoprovokeandappeasethembyturns;tobearwiththem,andtoforbeartoteaseandaskpardon;andsometimestogiveyourselfthemeritofasuffererfromthem;thencatchingtheminthemomentofconcession,consciousoftheirillusageofyou,theyareallyourown.

*SeeVol.VI.LetterVII.

Butthesesedate,contemplativegirls,neveroutoftemperbutwithreason;whenthatreasonisgiventhem,hardlyeverpardon,oraffordyouanotheropportunitytooffend.

ItwasinparttheapprehensionthatthiswouldbesowithmydearMissHarlowe,thatmademecarryhertoaplacewhereIbelievedshewouldbeunabletoescapeme,althoughIwerenottosucceedinmyfirstattempts.ElsewidowSorlings'swouldhavebeenaswellformeaswidowSinclair's.ForearlyIsawthattherewasnocredulityinhertograftupon:nopretendingtowhinemyselfintoherconfidence.Shewasproofagainstamorouspersuasion.Shehadreasoninherlove.Herpenetrationandgoodsensemadeherhateallcomplimentsthathadnottruthandnatureinthem.WhatcouldIhavedonewithherinanyotherplace?andyethow

long,eventhere,wasIkeptinawe,inspiteofnaturalincitement,andunnaturalinstigations,(asInowthinkthem,)bythemereforceofthatnativedignity,andobviouspurityofmindandmanners,whichfilleveryonewithreverence,ifnotwithholylove,asthoucallestit,*themomentheseesher!--Else,thinkestthounot,itwaseasyformetobeafinegentleman,andadelicatelover,or,atleastaspeciousandflatteringone?

*SeeLetterXXI.ofthisvolume.



LadySarahandLadyBetty,findingthetreaty,uponthesuccessofwhichtheyhavesettheirfoolishhearts,likelytorunintolength,areaboutdepartingtotheirownseats;havingtakenfrommethebestsecuritythenatureofthecasewilladmitof,thatistosay,myword,tomarrythelady,ifshewillhaveme.

Andafterall,(methinksthouasked,)artthoustillresolvedtorepair,ifreparationbeputintothypower?

Why,Jack,Imustneedsownthatmyhearthasnow-and-thensomeretrogrademotionsuponthinkingseriouslyoftheirrevocableceremony.Wedonoteasilygiveupthedesireofourhearts,andwhatweimagineessentialtoourhappiness,lettheexpectationorhopeofcompassingitbeeversounreasonableorabsurdintheopinionofothers.Recurringstherewillbe;hankeringsthatwill,oneverybut-remotely-favourableincident,(howeverbeforediscouragedandbeatenbackbyillsuccess,)popup,andabatethesatisfactionweshouldotherwisetakeincontrariantovertures.

'Tisungentlemanly,Jack,mantoman,tolie.----ButmatrimonyIdonotheartilylove--althoughwithaCLARISSA--yetIaminearnesttomarryher.

ButIamoftenthinkingthatifnowthisdearcreature,sufferingtime,andmypenitence,myrelations'prayers,andMissHowe'smediationtosoftenherresentments,(herrevengethouhastprettily*distinguishedaway,)andtorecallrepulsedinclination,shouldconsenttomeetmeatthealtar--Howvainwillshethenmakeallthyeloquentperiodsofexecration!--Howmanycharminginterjectionsofherownwillshespoil!Andwhatacoupleofoldpatriarchsshallwebecome,goinginthemill-horseround;gettingsonsanddaughters;providingnursesforthemfirst,governorsandgovernessesnext;teachingthemlessonstheirfathersneverpractised,norwhichtheirmother,asherparentswillsay,wasmuchthebetterfor!Andatlast,perhaps,whenlifeshallbeturnedintothedullysoberstillness,andIbecomedesiroustoforgetallmy

pastrogueries,whatcomfortablereflectionswillitaffordtofindthemallrevived,withequal,orprobablygreatertroubleandexpense,inthepersonsandmannersofsomanyyoungLovelacesoftheboys;andtohavethegirlsrunawaywithvarlets,perhapsnothalfsoingeniousasmyself;clumsyfellows,asitmighthappen,whocouldnotaffordthebaggagesoneexcusefortheirweakness,besidesthosedisgracefulonesofsexandnature!--OBelford!whocanbeartothinkofthesethings!----Who,atmytimeoflifeespecially,andwithsuchabiasformischief!

*SeeLetterXVIII.ofthisvolume.

OfthisIamabsolutelyconvinced,thatifamaneverintendstomarry,andtoenjoyinpeacehisownreflections,andnotbeafraidretribution,oroftheconsequencesofhisownexample,heshouldneverbearake.

Thislookslikeconscience;don'tit,Belford?

But,beinginearneststill,asIhavesaid,allIhavetodoinmypresentuncertainty,is,tobrightenupmyfaculties,byfilingofftherusttheyhavecontractedbythetownsmoke,alongimprisonmentinmy



closeattendancetosolittlepurposeonmyfairperverse;andtobraceup,ifIcan,therelaxedfibresofmymind,whichhavebeentwitchedandconvulsedlikethenervesofsometotteringparalytic,bymeansofthetumultsshehasexcitedinit;thatsoImaybeabletopresenttoherahusbandasworthyasIcanbeofheracceptance;or,ifsherejectme,beinacapacitytoresumemyusualgaietyofheart,andshowothersofthemisleadingsex,thatIamnotdiscouraged,bythedifficultiesIhavemetwithfromthissweetindividualofit,fromendeavouringtomakemyselfasacceptabletothemasbefore.

Inthislattercase,onetourtoFranceandItaly,Idaresay,willdothebusiness.MissHarlowewillbythattimehaveforgottenallshehassufferedfromherungratefulLovelace:thoughitwillbeimpossiblethatherLovelaceshouldeverforgetawoman,whoseequalhedespairstomeetwith,werehetotravelfromoneendoftheworldtotheother.

Ifthoucontinuestpayingofftheheavydebtsmylongletters,forsomanyweekstogether,havemadetheegroanunder,IwillendeavourtorestrainmyselfinthedesiresIhave,(importunateastheyare,)ofgoingtotown,tothrowmyselfatthefeetofmysoul'sbeloved.Policyandhonesty,bothjointostrengthentherestraintmyownpromiseandthyengagementhavelaidmeunderonthishead.Iwouldnotafreshprovoke:onthecontrary,wouldgivetimeforherresentmentstosubside,thatsoallthatfollowsmaybeherownactanddeed.

***

Hickman,[Ihaveamortalaversiontothatfellow!]has,byalinewhichIhavejustnowreceived,requestedaninterviewwithmeonFridayatMr.Dormer's,asatacommonfriend's.Doesthebusinesshewantstomeetmeuponrequirethatitshouldbeatacommonfriend's?--Achallengeimplied:Isitnot,Belford?--Ishallnotbeciviltohim,Idoubt.Hehasbeenanintermeddler?--ThenIenvyhimonMissHowe'saccount:forifIhavearightnotionofthisHickman,itisimpossiblethatthatviragocaneverlovehim.

Everyoneknowsthatthemother,(saucyasthedaughtersometimesis,)cramshimdownherthroat.Hermotherisoneofthemostviolent-spiritedwomeninEngland.HerlatehusbandcouldnotstandinthematrimonialcontentionofWhoshould?buttiptofftheperchinit,neitherknowinghowtoyield,norknowinghowtoconquer.

Acharmingencouragementforamanofintrigue,whenhehasreasontobelievethatthewomanhehasaviewuponhasnoloveforherhusband!Whatgoodprinciplesmustthatwifehave,whoiskeptinagainsttemptationbyasenseofherduty,andplightedfaith,whereaffectionhasnoholdofher!

Pr'ytheelet'sknow,veryparticularly,howitfareswithpoorBelton.'Tisanhonestfellow.SomethingmorethanhisThomasineseemstostickwithhim.

Thouhastnotbeenpreachingtohimconscienceandreformation,hastthou?--Thoushouldestnottakelibertieswithhimofthissort,unlessthouthoughtesthimabsolutelyirrecoverable.Amaninillhealth,andcrop-sick,cannotplaywiththesesolemnthingsasthoucanst,andbeneitherbetternorworseforthem.--Repentance,Jack,Ihaveanotion,shouldbesetaboutwhileamanisinhealthandspirits.What'saman



fitfor,[nottobeginanewwork,surely!]whenheisnothimself,normasterofhisfaculties?--Hence,asIapprehend,itisthatadeath-bedrepentanceissupposedtobesuchaprecariousandineffectualthing.

Astomyself,IhopeIhaveagreatdealoftimebeforeme;sinceIintendonedaytobeareformedman.Ihaveveryseriousreflectionsnow-and-then.YetamIhalfafraidofthetruthofwhatmycharmeroncetoldme,thatamancannotrepentwhenhewill.--Nottoholdit,Isupposeshemeant!ByfitsandstartsIhaverepentedathousandtimes.

Castingmyeyeoverthetwoprecedingparagraphs,Ifancythereissomethinglikecontradictioninthem.ButIwillnotreconsiderthem.Thesubjectisaveryseriousone.Idon'tatpresentquiteunderstandit.Butnowforonemoreairy.

Tourville,Mowbray,andmyself,passawayourtimeaspleasantlyaspossiblywecanwithoutthee.Iwishwedon'taddtoLordM.'sgoutydaysbythejoywegivehim.

Thisisoneadvantage,asIbelieveIhaveelsewhereobserved,thatwemale-delinquentsinlove-mattershaveoftheothersex:--forwhilethey,poorthings!sitsighinginholesandcorners,orruntowoodsandgrovestobemoanthemselvesontheirbaffledhopes,wecanrantandroar,huntandhawk;and,bynewloves,banishfromourheartsallremembranceof

theoldones.Merrily,however,aswepassourtime,myreflectionsupontheinjuriesdonetothisnoblecreaturebringaqualmuponmyheartveryoften.ButIknowshewillpermitmetomakeheramends,aftershehasplaguedmeheartily;andthat'smyconsolation.

Anhonestfellowstill--clapthywings,andcrow,Jack!----

LETTERXXIV

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAYMORN.JUNE*20.

*Texterror:shouldbeJULY.

What,mydearestcreature,havebeenyoursufferings!--Whatmusthavebeenyouranguishonsodisgracefulaninsult,committedintheopenstreets,andinthebroadday!

Noend,Ithink,oftheundeservedcalamitiesofadearsoul,whohadbeensounhappilydrivenandbetrayedintothehandsofavilelibertine!

--HowwasIshockedatthereceivingofyourletterwrittenbyanotherhand,andonlydictatedbyyou!--Youmustbeveryill.Norisittobewonderedat.ButIhopeitisratherfromhurry,andsurprise,andlowness,whichmaybeovercome,thanfromagriefgivenwayto,whichmaybeattendedwitheffectsIcannotbeartothinkof.

Butwhateveryoudo,mydear,youmustnotdespond!Indeedyoumustnotdespond!Hithertoyouhavebeeninnofault:butdespairwouldbeallyourown:andtheworstfaultyoucanbeguiltyof.



Icannotbeartolookuponanotherhandinsteadofyour's.Mydearcreature,sendmeafewlines,thougheversofew,inyourownhand,ifpossible.--Fortheywillrevivemyheart;especiallyiftheycanacquaintmeofyouramendedhealth.

Iexpectyouranswertomyletterofthe13th.Weallexpectitwithimpatience.

Hisrelationsarepersonsofsomuchhonour--theyaresoveryearnesttorankyouamongthem--thewretchissoverypenitent:everyoneofhisfamilysaysheis--yourownaresoimplacable--yourlastdistress,thoughtheconsequenceofhisformervillany,yetneitherbroughtonbyhisdirectionnorwithhisknowledge;andsomuchresentedbyhim--thatmymotherisabsolutelyofopinionthatyoushouldbehis--especiallyif,yieldingtomywishes,asexpressedinmyletter,andthoseofallhisfriends,youwouldhavecomplied,haditnotbeenforthishorridarrest.

IwillenclosethecopyoftheletterIwrotetoMissMontaguelastTuesday,onhearingthatnobodyknewwhatwasbecomeofyou;andtheanswertoit,underwrittenandsignedbyLordM.,LadySarahSadleir,andLadyBettyLawrance,aswellasbytheyoungLadies;andalsobythewretchhimself.

Iown,thatIlikenottheturnofwhathehaswrittentome;and,before

Iwillfurtherinterestmyselfinhisfavour,Ihavedeterminedtoinformmyself,byafriend,fromhisownmouth,ofhissincerity,andwhetherhiswholeinclinationbe,inhisrequesttome,exclusiveofthewishesofhisrelations.Yetmyheartrisesagainsthim,onthesuppositionthatthereistheshadowofareasonforsuchaquestion,thewomanMissClarissaHarlowe.ButIthink,withmymother,thatmarriageisnowtheonlymeanslefttomakeyourfuturelifetolerablyeasy--happythereisnosaying.--Hisdisgraces,inthatcase,intheeyeoftheworlditself,willbemorethanyour's:and,tothosewhoknowyou,gloriouswillbeyourtriumph.

IamobligedtoaccompanymymothersoontotheIsleofWight.MyauntHarmanisinadecliningway,andinsistsuponseeingusboth--andMr.

Hickmantoo,Ithink.

Hissister,ofwhomwehadheardsomuch,withherlord,werebroughtt'otherdaytovisitus.Shestrangelylikesme,orsaysshedoes.

Ican'tsaybutthatIthinksheanswerstheexcellentcharacterweheardofher.

Itwouldbedeathtometosetoutforthelittleisland,andnotseeyoufirst:andyetmymother(fondofexertinganauthoritythatsheherself,bythatexertion,oftenbringsintoquestion)insists,thatmynextvisittoyoumustbeacongratulatoryoneasMrs.Lovelace.

WhenIknowwhatwillbetheresultofthequestionstobeputinmynametothatwretch,andwhatisyourmindonmyletterofthe13th,Ishalltellyoumoreofmine.

Thebearerpromisestomakesomuchdispatchastoattendyouthisveryafternoon.Mayhereturnwithgoodtidingsto

YoureveraffectionateANNAHOWE.



LETTERXXV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWETHURSDAYAFTERNOON.

Youpainme,MissHowe,bytheardourofyournoblefriendship.Iwillbebrief,becauseIamnotwell;yetagooddealbetterthanIwas;andbecauseIampreparingananswertoyour'softhe13th.But,beforehand,Imusttellyou,mydear,Iwillnothavethatman--don'tbeangrywithme.ButindeedIwon't.Solethimbeaskednoquestionsaboutme,Ibeseechyou.

Idonotdespond,mydear.IhopeImaysay,Iwillnotdespond.Isnotmyconditiongreatlymended?IthankHeavenitis!

Iamnoprisonernowinavilehouse.Iamnotnowinthepowerofthatman'sdevices.Iamnotnowobligedtohidemyselfincornersforfearofhim.Oneofhisintimatecompanionsisbecomemywarmfriend,andengagestokeephimfromme,andthatbyhisownconsent.Iamamonghonestpeople.Ihaveallmyclothesandeffectsrestoredtome.Thewretchhimselfbearstestimonytomyhonour.

IndeedIamveryweakandill:butIhaveanexcellentphysician,Dr.H.andasworthyanapothecary,Mr.Goddard.--Theirtreatmentofme,mydear,isperfectlypaternal!--Mymindtoo,Icanfind,beginstostrengthen:andmethinks,attimes,Ifindmyselfsuperiortomycalamities.

Ishallhavesinkingssometimes.Imustexpectsuch.Andmyfather'smaledict----Butyouwillchidemeforintroducingthat,nowIamenumeratingmycomforts.

ButIchargeyou,mydear,thatyoudonotsuffermycalamitiestosittooheavilyuponyourownmind.Ifyoudo,thatwillbetonew-point

someofthosearrowsthathavebeenbluntedandlosttheirsharpness.

Ifyouwouldcontributetomyhappiness,giveway,mydear,toyourown;andtothecheerfulprospectsbeforeyou!

YouwillthinkverymeanlyofyourClarissa,ifyoudonotbelieve,thatthegreatestpleasureshecanreceiveinthislifeisinyourprosperityandwelfare.Thinknotofme,myonlyfriend,butaswewereintimespast:andsupposemegoneagreat,greatwayoff!--Alongjourney!----Howoftenarethedearestoffriends,attheircountry'scall,thusparted--withacertaintyforyears--withaprobabilityforever.

Lovemestill,however.Butletitbewithaweaninglove.Iamnotwhat

Iwas,whenwewereinseparablelovers,asImaysay.--Ourviewsmustnowbedifferent--Resolve,mydear,tomakeaworthymanhappy,becauseaworthymanmakeyouso.--Andso,mydearestlove,forthepresentadieu!--adieu,mydearestlove!--butIshallsoonwriteagain,Ihope!

LETTERXXVI




[INANSWERTOLETTERXXIII.OFTHISVOLUME.]THURDAY,JULY20.

IreadthatpartofyourconclusiontopoorBelton,whereyouinquireafterhim,andmentionhowmerrilyyouandtheresetpassyourtimeatM.Hall.Hefetchedadeepsigh:Youareallveryhappy!werehiswords.--Iamsorrytheywerehiswords;for,poorfellow,heisgoingveryfast.Changeofair,hehopes,willmendhim,joinedtothecheerfulcompanyIhavelefthimin.Butnothing,Idaresay,will.

Aconsumingmalady,andaconsumingmistress,toanindulgentkeeper,aredreadfulthingstostrugglewithbothtogether:violencemustbeusedtogetridofthelatter;andyethehasnotspiritenoughlefthimtoexerthimself.HishouseisThomasine'shouse;nothis.Hehasnotbeenwithinhisdoorsforafortnightpast.Vagabondingaboutfrominntoinn;enteringeachforabaitonly;andstayingtwoorthreedayswithoutpowertoremove;andhardlyknowingwhichtogotonext.Hismaladyiswithinhim;andhecannotrunawayfromit.

Herboys(oncehethoughtthemhis)aresturdyenoughtoshoulderhiminhisownhouseastheypassbyhim.Sidingwiththemother,theyinamannerexpelhim;and,inhisabsence,riotawayontheremnantofhisbrokenfortunes.Astotheirmother,(whowasoncesotender,so

submissive,sostudioustooblige,thatweallpronouncedhimhappy,andhiscourseoflifetheeligible,)sheisnowsotermagant,soinsolent,thathecannotcontendwithher,withoutdoinginfiniteprejudicetohishealth.Abroken-spiriteddefensive,hardlyadefensive,therefore,reducedto:andthistoaheart,forsomanyyearswagingoffensivewar,(notvaluingwhomtheopponent,)whatareduction!nowcomparinghimselftothesuperannuatedlioninthefable,kickedinthejaws,andlaidsprawling,bythespurningheelofanignobleass!

Ihaveundertakenhiscause.Hehasgivenmeleave,yetnotwithoutreluctance,toputhimintopossessionofhisownhouse;andtoplaceinitforhimhisunhappysister,whomhehashithertoslighted,becauseunhappy.Itishard,hetoldme,(andwept,poorfellow,whenhesaid

it,)thathecannotbepermittedtodiequietlyinhisownhouse!--Thefruitsofblessedkeepingthese!----

Thoughbutlatelyapprizedofherinfidelity,itnowcomesouttohavebeenofsolongcontinuance,thathehasnoroomtobelievetheboystobehis:yethowfonddidheusetobeofthem!

Towhat,Lovelace,shallweattributethetendernesswhichareputedfatherfrequentlyshowstothechildrenofanotherman?--Whatisthat,Ipraythee,whichwecallnature,andnaturalaffection?Andwhathasmantoboastofastosagacityandpenetration,whenheisaseasilybroughttocoverandrear,andeventolove,andoftentoprefer,theproductofanother'sguiltwithhiswifeormistress,asahenoragoosetheeggs,

andevenyoung,ofothersoftheirkind?

Nay,letmeask,ifinstinct,asitiscalled,intheanimalcreation,doesnotenablethemtodistinguishtheirown,muchmoreeasilythanwe,withourboastedreasonandsagacity,inthisniceparticular,cando?

Ifsomemen,whohavewivesbutofdoubtfulvirtue,consideredthismatterduly,Ibelievetheirinordinateardouraftergainwouldbeagooddealcooled,whentheycouldnotbecertain(thoughtheirmatescould)forwhosechildrentheywereelbowing,bustling,griping,andperhaps



cheating,thosewithwhomtheyhaveconcerns,whetherfriends,neighbours,ormorecertainnext-of-kin,bythemother'ssidehowever.

ButIwillnotpushthisnotionsofarasitmightbecarried;because,ifpropagated,itmightbeofunsocialorunnaturalconsequence;sincewomenofvirtuewouldperhapsbemoreliabletosufferbythemistrustsandcapricesorbad-heartedandfoolish-headedhusbands,thanthosewhocanscreenthemselvesfromdetectionbyartsandhypocrisy,towhichawomanofvirtuecannothaverecourse.Andyet,werethisnotiondulyandgenerallyconsidered,itmightbeattendedwithnobadeffects;asgoodeducation,goodinclinations,andestablishedvirtue,wouldbetheprincipally-sought-afterqualities;andnotmoney,whenaman(notbiasedbymerepersonalattractions)waslookingroundhimforapartnerinhisfortunes,andforamotherofhisfuturechildren,whicharetobetheheirsofhispossessions,andtoenjoythefruitsofhisindustry.

ButtoreturntopoorBelton.

IfIhaveoccasionforyourassistance,andthatofourcompeers,inre-instatingthepoorfellow,Iwillgiveyounotice.Meantime,IhavejustnowbeentoldthatThomasinedeclaresshewillnotstir;for,itseems,shesuspectsthatmeasureswillbefallenupontomakeherquit.SheisMrs.Belton,shesays,andwillprovehermarriage.

Ifshewouldgiveherselftheseairsinhislife-time,whatwouldsheattempttodoafterhisdeath?

Herboythreatensanybodywhoshallpresumetoinsulttheirmother.Theirfather(astheycallpoorBelton)theyspeakofasanunnaturalone.Andtheirprobablytruefatherisforeverthere,hostilelythere,passingforhercousin,asusual:nowherprotectingcousin.

Hardlyever,Idaresay,wasthereakeeperthatdidnotmakekeeperess;wholavishedawayonherkept-fellowwhatsheobtainedfromtheextravagantfollyofhimwhokepther.

Iwilldowithoutyou,ifIcan.Thecasewillbeonly,asIconceive,

thatlikeoftheancientSarmatians,theirwivestheninpossessionoftheirslaves.Sothattheyhadtocontendnotonlywiththosewives,consciousoftheirinfidelity,andwiththeirslaves,butwiththechildrenofthoseslaves,grownuptomanhood,resolutetodefendtheirmothersandtheirlong-manumittedfathers.ButthenobleSarmatians,scorningtoattacktheirslaveswithequalweapons,onlyprovidedthemselveswiththesamesortofwhipswithwhichtheyusedformerlytochastisethem.Andattackingthemwiththem,themiscreantsfledbeforethem.--Inmemoryofwhich,tothisday,thedeviceonthecoininNovogrod,inRussia,acityoftheantientSarmatia,isamanonhorseback,withawhipinhishand.

Thepoorfellowtakesitill,thatyoudidnotpresshimmorethanyou

didtobeofyourpartyatM.Hall.ItisowingtoMowbray,heissure,thathehadsoveryslightaninvitationfromonewhoseinvitationsusedtobesowarm.

Mowbray'sspeechtohim,hesays,heneverwillforgive:'Why,Tom,'saidthebrutalfellow,withacurse,'thoudroopestlikeapiporroup-cloakingchicken.Thoushouldstgrowperter,orsubmittoasolitaryquarantine,ifthouwouldstnotinfectthewholebrood.'

Formyownpart,onlythatthispoorfellowisindistress,aswellin



hisaffairsasinhismind,orIshouldbesickofyouall.SuchistherelishIhaveoftheconversation,andsuchmyadmirationofthedeportmentandsentimentsofthisdivinelady,thatIwouldforegoamonth,evenofthycompany,tobeadmittedintoher'sbutforonehour:andIamhighlyinconceitwithmyself,greatlyasIusedtovaluethine,forbeingable,spontaneouslyasImaysay,tomakethispreference.

Itis,afterall,adevilishlifewehavelived.Andtoconsiderhowitallendsinaveryfewyears--toseetowhatastateofillhealththispoorfellowissosoonreduced--andthentoobservehoweveryoneofyerunawayfromtheunhappybeing,asratsfromafallinghouse,isfinecomforttohelpamantolookbackuponcompanionsill-chosen,andalifemis-spent!

Itwillbeyourturnsby-and-by,everymanofye,ifthejusticeofyourcountryinterposenot.

Thouarttheonlyrakewehaveherdedwith,ifthouwiltnotexceptthyself,whohastpreservedentirethyhealthandthyfortunes.

Mowbrayindeedisindebtedtoarobustconstitutionthathehasnotyetsufferedinhishealth;buthisestateisdwindledawayyearbyyear.

Three-fourthsofTourville'sveryconsiderablefortunesarealready

dissipated;andtheremainingfourthwillprobablysoongoaftertheotherthree.

PoorBelton!weseehowitiswithhim!--Hisownfelicityis,thathewillhardlylivetowant.

Thouarttooproud,andtooprudent,evertobedestitute;and,todotheejustice,hathaspirittoassistsuchofthyfriendsasmaybereduced;andwilt,ifthoushouldestthenbeliving.ButIthinkthoumust,muchsoonerthanthouimaginest,becalledtothyaccount--knockedontheheadperhapsbythefriendsofthosewhomthouhastinjured;forifthouescapestthisfatefromtheHarlowefamily,thouwiltgoontemptingdangerandvengeance,tillthoumeetestwithvengeance;and

this,whetherthoumarriest,ornot:forthenuptiallifewillnot,Idoubt,tillagejoinwithit,curetheeofthatspiritforintriguewhichiscontinuallyrunningawaywiththee,inspiteofthybettersense,andtransitoryresolutions.

Well,then,Iwillsupposetheelaiddownquietlyamongthyworthierancestors.

AndnowletmelookforwardtotheendsofTourvilleandMowbray,[Beltonwillbecrumbledintodustbeforethee,perhaps,]supposingthyearlyexithassavedtheefromgallowsintervention.

Reduced,probably,byriotouswastetoconsequentialwant,beholdthem

refugedinsomeobsceneholeorgarret;obligedtothecarelesscareofsomedirtyoldwoman,whomnothingbutherpovertyprevailsupontoattendtoperformthelastofficesformen,whohavemadesuchshockingravageamongtheyoungones.

Thenhowmiserablywilltheywhinethroughsqueakingorgans;theirbigvoicesturnedintopulingpity-begginglamentations!theirnow-offensivepaws,howhelplessthen!--theirnow-erectnecksthendenyingsupporttotheirachingheads;thoseglobesofmischiefdroppingupontheirquakingshoulders.Thenwhatwryfaceswilltheymake!theirhearts,andtheir



heads,reproachingeachother!--distendedtheirparchedmouths!--sunktheirunmuscledcheeks!--dropttheirunderjaws!--eachgruntingliketheswinehehadresembledinhislife!Oh!whatavilewretchhaveIbeen!Oh!thatIhadmylifetocomeoveragain!--Confessingtothepooroldwoman,whocannotshrivethem!Imaginaryghostsofdefloweredvirgins,andpollutedmatrons,flittingbeforetheirglassyeyes!AndoldSatan,totheirapprehensions,grinningbehindalooking-glassheldupbeforethem,tofrightenthemwiththehorrorvisibleintheirowncountenances!

Formyownpart,ifIcangetsomegoodfamilytocreditmewithasisterordaughter,asIhavenowanincreasedfortune,whichwillenablemetoproposehandsomesettlements,Iwilldesertyeall;marry,andlivealifeofreason,ratherthanalifeofabrute,forthetimetocome.

LETTERXXVII

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.THURSDAYNIGHT.

Iwasforcedtotakebackmytwentyguineas.HowthewomenmanageditIcan'ttell,(Isupposetheytooreadilyfoundapurchaserfortherich

suit;)butshemistrusted,thatIwastheadvancerofthemoney;andwouldnotlettheclothesgo.ButMrs.Lovickhasactuallysold,forfifteenguineas,somerichlaceworththreetimesthesum;outofwhichsherepaidherthemoneysheborrowedforfeestothedoctor,inanillnessoccasionedbythebarbarityofthemostsavageofmen.Thouknowesthisname!

TheDoctorcalledonherinthemorningitseems,andhadashortdebatewithheraboutfees.Sheinsistedthatheshouldtakeoneeverytimehecame,writeornotwrite;mistrustingthatheonlygaveverbaldirectionstoMrs.Lovick,orthenurse,toavoidtakingany.

Hesaidthatitwouldbeimpossibleforhim,hadhenotbeenaphysician,

toforbearinquiriesafterthehealthandwelfareofsoexcellentaperson.Hehadnotthethoughtofpayingheracomplimentindecliningtheofferedfee:butheknewhercasecouldnotsosuddenlyvaryastodemandhisdailyvisits.Shemustpermithim,therefore,toinquireofthewomenbelowafterherhealth;andhemustnotthinkofcomingup,ifheweretobepecuniarilyrewardedforthesatisfactionhewassodesiroustogivehimself.

Itendedinacompromiseforafeeeachothertime;whichsheunwillinglysubmittedto;tellinghim,thatthoughshewasatpresentdesolateandindisgrace,yethercircumstanceswere,ofright,high;andnoexpensescouldrisesoastobescrupled,whethershelivedordied.Butshesubmitted,sheadded,tothecompromise,inhopestoseehimasoftenas

hehadopportunity;forshereallylookeduponhim,andMr.Goddard,fromtheirkindandtendertreatmentofher,witharegardnexttofilial.

IhopethouwiltmakethyselfacquaintedwiththisworthyDoctorwhenthoucomesttotown;andgivehimthythanks,forputtingherintoconceitwiththesexthatthouhastgivenhersomuchreasontoexecrate.

Farewell.



LETTERXXVIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.M.HALL,FRIDAY,JULY21.

JustreturnedfromaninterviewwiththisHickman:aprecisefopofafellow,asstarchedashisruffles.

ThouknowestIlovehimnot,Jack;andwhomwelovenotwecannotallowameritto!perhapsnotthemerittheyshouldbegranted.However,Iaminearnest,whenIsay,thatheseemstometobesoset,soprim,soaffected,somincing,yetsoclouterlyinhisperson,thatIdareengageforthyopinion,ifthoudostjusticetohim,andtothyself,thatthouneverbeheldestsuchanother,exceptinapier-glass.

I'lltelltheehowIplay'dhimoff.

HecameinhisownchariottoDormer's;andwetookaturninthegarden,athisrequest.Hewasdevilishceremonious,andmadeabushelofapologiesforthefreedomhewasgoingtotake:and,afterhalfahundredhumsandhaws,toldme,thathecame--thathecame--towaitonme--attherequestofdearMissHowe,ontheaccount--ontheaccount--ofMissHarlowe.

Well,Sir,speakon,saidI:butgivemeleavetosay,thatifyourbookbeaslongasyourpreface,itwilltakeupaweektoreadit.

Thiswasprettyrough,thou'ltsay:butthere'snothinglikebalkingtheseformalitiesatfirst.Whentheyareputoutoftheirroad,theyarefilledwithdoubtsofthemselves,andcannevergetintoitagain:sothatanhonestfellow,impertinentlyattacked,asIwas,hasallthegameinhisownhandquitethroughtheconference.

Hestrokedhischin,andhardlyknewwhattosay.Atlast,afterparenthesiswithinparenthesis,apologizingforapologies,inimitation,Isuppose,ofSwift'sdigressioninpraiseofdigressions--Ipresume--I

presume,Sir,youwereprivytothevisitmadetoMissHowebytheyoungLadiesyourcousins,inthenameofLordM.,andLadySarahSadleir,andLadyBettyLawrance.

Iwas,Sir:andMissHowehadaletterafterwards,signedbyhisLordshipandbythoseLadies,andunderwrittenbymyself.Haveyouseenit,Sir?

Ican'tsaybutIhave.Itistheprincipalcauseofthisvisit:forMissHowethinksyourpartofitiswrittenwithsuchanairoflevity--pardonme,Sir--thatsheknowsnotwhetheryouareinearnestornot,inyouraddresstoherforherinteresttoherfriend.*

*SeeMr.Lovelace'sbillettoMissHowe,LetterXIV.ofthisvolume.

WillMissHowepermitmetoexplainmyselfinpersontoher,Mr.Hickman?

OSir,bynomeans.MissHowe,Iamsure,wouldnotgiveyouthattrouble.

Ishouldnotthinkitatrouble.Iwillmostreadilyattendyou,Sir,toMissHowe,andsatisfyherinallherscruples.Come,Sir,Iwillwait



uponyounow.Youhaveachariot.Arealone.Wecantalkasweride.

Hehesitated,wriggled,winced,strokedhisruffles,sethiswig,andpulledhisneckcloth,whichwaslongenoughforabib.--IamnotgoingdirectlybacktoMissHowe,Sir.ItwillbeaswellifyouwillbesogoodastosatisfyMissHowebyme.

Whatisitshescruples,Mr.Hickman?

Why,Sir,MissHoweobserves,thatinyourpartoftheletter,yousay--butletmesee,Sir--Ihaveacopyofwhatyouwrote,[pullingitout,]willyougivemeleave,Sir?--Thusyoubegin--DearMissHowe--

Nooffence,Ihope,Mr.Hickman?

Noneintheleast,Sir!--Noneatall,Sir!--Takingaim,asitwere,toread.

Doyouusespectacles,Mr.Hickman?

Spectacles,Sir!Hiswholebroadfaceliftedupatme:Spectacles!--Whatmakesyouaskmesuchaquestion?suchayoungmanasIusespectacles,Sir!--

TheydoinSpain,Mr.Hickman:youngaswellasold,tosavetheireyes.--HaveyoueverreadPrior'sAlma,Mr.Hickman?

Ihave,Sir--customiseverythinginnations,aswellaswithindividuals:Iknowthemeaningofyourquestion--but'tisnottheEnglishcustom.--

WasyoueverinSpain,Mr.Hickman?

No,Sir:IhavebeeninHolland.

InHolland,Sir?--NevertoFranceorItaly?--Iwasresolvedtotravelwithhimintothelandofpuzzledom.

No,Sir,IcannotsayIhave,asyet.

That'sawonder,Sir,whenonthecontinent!

Iwentonaparticularaffair:Iwasobligedtoreturnsoon.

Well,Sir;youwasgoingtoread--praybepleasedtoproceed.

Againhetookaim,asifhiseyeswereolderthantherestofhim;andread,Afterwhatiswrittenabove,andsignedbynamesandcharactersofsuchunquestionablehonour--tobesure,(takingoffhiseye,)nobodyquestionsthehonourofLordM.northatofthegoodLadieswhosigned

theletter.

Ihope,Mr.Hickman,nobodyquestionsmineneither?

Ifyouplease,Sir,Iwillreadon.--Imighthavebeenexcusedsigninganame,almostashatefultomyself[youarepleasedtosay]--asIKNOWitistoYOU--

Well,Mr.Hickman,Imustinterruptyouatthisplace.InwhatIwrotetoMissHowe,IdistinguishedthewordKNOW.Ihadareasonforit.



MissHowehasbeenveryfreewithmycharacter.Ihaveneverdoneheranyharm.Itakeitveryillofher.AndIhope,Sir,youcomeinhernametomakeexcusesforit.

MissHowe,Sir,isaverypoliteyounglady.Sheisnotaccustomedtotreatanyman'scharacterunbecomingly.

ThenIhavethemorereasontotakeitamiss,Mr.Hickman.

Why,Sir,youknowthefriendship--

NofriendshipshouldwarrantsuchfreedomsasMissHowehastakenwithmycharacter.

(Ibelievedhebegantowishhehadnotcomenearme.Heseemedquitedisconcerted.)

HaveyounotheardMissHowetreatmynamewithgreat--

Sir,Icomenottooffendoraffrontyou:butyouknowwhatalovethereisbetweenMissHoweandMissHarlowe.--Idoubt,Sir,youhavenottreatedMissHarloweassofineayoungladydeservedtobetreated.AndifloveforherfriendhasmadeMissHowetakefreedoms,asyoucallthem,amindnotungenerous,onsuchanoccasion,willratherbesorry

forhavinggiventhecause,than--Iknowyourconsequence,Sir!--butI'dratherhavethisreprooffromaladythanfromagentleman.IhaveagreatdesiretowaituponMissHowe.Iampersuadedweshouldsooncometoagoodunderstanding.Generousmindsarealwaysofkin.Iknowweshouldagreeineverything.Pray,Mr.Hickman,besokindastointroducemetoMissHowe.

Sir--Icansignifyyourdesire,ifyouplease,toMissHowe.

Doso.Bepleasedtoreadon,Mr.Hickman.

Hedidveryformally,asifIrememberednotwhatIhadwritten;andwhen

hecametothepassageaboutthehalter,theparson,andthehangman,readingit,Why,Sir,sayshe,doesnotthislooklikeajest?--MissHowethinksitdoes.Itisnotinthelady'spower,youknow,Sir,todoomyoutothegallows.

Then,ifitwere,Mr.Hickman,youthinkshewould?

YousayheretoMissHowe,proceededhe,thatMissHarloweisthemostinjuredofhersex.Iknow,fromMissHowe,thatshehighlyresentstheinjuriesyouown:insomuchthatMissHowedoubtsthatsheshallneverprevailuponhertooverlookthem:andasyourfamilyarealldesirousyoushouldrepairherwrongs,andlikewisedesireMissHowe'sinterpositionwithherfriend;MissHowefears,fromthispartofyour

letter,thatyouaretoomuchinjest;andthatyouroffertodoherjusticeisratherincomplimenttoyourfriends'entreaties,thanproceedingformyourowninclinations:andshedesirestoknowyourtruesentimentsonthisoccasion,beforesheinterposesfurther.

Doyouthink,Mr.Hickman,that,ifIamcapableofdeceivingmyownrelations,IhavesomuchobligationtoMissHowe,whohasalwaystreatedmewithgreatfreedom,astoacknowledgetoherwhatIdon'ttothem?

Sir,Ibegpardon:butMissHowethinksthat,asyouhavewrittentoher,



shemayaskyou,byme,foranexplanationofwhatyouhavewritten.

Yousee,Mr.Hickman,somethingofme.--DoyouthinkIaminjest,orinearnest?

Isee,Sir,youareagaygentleman,offinespirits,andallthat.AllIbeginMissHowe'snameis,toknowifyoureallyandbonÃ¢fidejoinwithyourfriendsindesiringhertouseherinteresttoreconcileyoutoMissHarlowe?

IshouldbeextremelygladtobereconciledtoMissHarlowe;andshouldowegreatobligationstoMissHowe,ifshecouldbringaboutsohappyanevent.

Well,Sir,andyouhavenoobjectionstomarriage,Ipresume,astheconditionofthatreconciliation?

Ineverlikedmatrimonyinmylife.Imustbeplainwithyou,Mr.Hickman.

Iamsorryforit:Ithinkitaveryhappystate.

Ihopeyouwillfinditso,Mr.Hickman.

IdoubtnotbutIshall,Sir.AndIdaresay,sowouldyou,ifyouweretohaveMissHarlowe.

IfIcouldbehappyinitwithanybody,itwouldbewithMissHarlowe.

Iamsurprised,Sir!----Then,afterall,youdon'tthinkofmarryingMissHarlowe!----Afterthehardusage----

Whathardusage,Mr.Hickman?Idon'tdoubtbutaladyofhernicenesshasrepresentedwhatwouldappeartriflestoanyother,inaverystronglight.

IfwhatIhavehadhintedtome,Sir--excuseme--hadbeenofferedtothe

lady,shehasmorethantriflestocomplainof.

Letmeknowwhatyouhaveheard,Mr.Hickman?Iwillverytrulyanswertotheaccusations.

Sir,youknowbestwhatyouhavedone:youowntheladyisthemostinjured,aswellasthemostdeservingofhersex.

Ido,Sir;andyetIwouldbegladtoknowwhatyouhaveheard:foronthat,perhaps,dependsmyanswertothequestionsMissHoweputstomebyyou.

Whythen,Sir,sinceyouaskit,youcannotbedispleasedifIanswer

you:--inthefirstplace,Sir,youwillacknowledge,Isuppose,thatyoupromisedMissHarlowemarriage,andallthat?

Well,Sir,andIsupposewhatyouhavetochargemewithis,thatIwasdesiroustohaveallthat,withoutmarriage?

Cot-so,Sir,Iknowyouaredeemedtobeamanofwit:butmayInotaskifthesethingssitnottoolightuponyou?

Whenathingisdone,andcannotbehelped,'tisrighttomakethebest



ofit.Iwishtheladywouldthinksotoo.

Ithink,Sir,ladiesshouldnotbedeceived.Ithinkapromisetoaladyshouldbeasbindingastoanyotherperson,attheleast.

Ibelieveyouthinkso,Mr.Hickman:andIbelieveyouareaveryhonest,goodsortofaman.

Iwouldalwayskeepmyword,Sir,whethertomanorwoman.

Yousaywell.Andfarbeitfrommetopersuadeyoutodootherwise.Butwhathaveyoufartherheard?

(Thouwiltthink,Jack,ImustbeverydesiroustoknowinwhatlightmyelectedspousehadrepresentedthingstoMissHowe;andhowfarMissHowehadcommunicatedthemtoMr.Hickman.)

Sir,thisisnopartofmypresentbusiness.

But,Mr.Hickman,'tispartofmine.IhopeyouwouldnotexpectthatIshouldansweryourquestions,atthesametimethatyourefusedtoanswermine.What,pray,haveyoufartherheard?

Whythen,Sir,ifImustsay,Iamtold,thatMissHarlowewascarriedto

averybadhouse.Why,indeed,thepeopledidnotprovesogoodastheyshouldbe.--Whatfartherhaveyouheard?

Ihaveheard,Sir,thattheladyhadstrangeadvantagestakenofher,veryunfairones:butwhatIcannotsay.

Andcannotyousay?Cannotyouguess?--ThenI'lltellyou,Sir.Perhapssomelibertywastakenwithherwhenshewasasleep.Doyouthinknoladyeverwastakenatsuchanadvantage?--Youknow,Mr.Hickman,thatladiesareveryshyoftrustingthemselveswiththemodestestofoursex,whentheyaredisposedtosleep;andwhyso,iftheydidnotexpectthat

advantageswouldbetakenofthematsuchtimes?

But,Sir,hadnottheladysomethinggivenhertomakehersleep?

Ay,Mr.Hickman,that'sthequestion:Iwanttoknowiftheladysaysshehad?

Ihavenotseenallshehaswritten;but,bywhatIhaveheard,itisaveryblackaffair--Excuseme,Sir.

Idoexcuseyou,Mr.Hickman:but,supposingitwereso,doyouthinkaladywasneverimposeduponbywine,orso?--Doyounotthinkthemostcautiouswomanintheworldmightnotbecheatedbyastrongerliquorfor

asmaller,whenshewasthirsty,afterafatigueinthisverywarmweather?Anddoyouthink,ifshewasthusthrownintoaprofoundsleep,thatsheistheonlyladythatwasevertakenatsuchanadvantage?

Evenasyoumakeit,Mr.Lovelace,thismatterisnotalightone.ButIfearitisagreatdealheavierthanasyouputit.

Whatreasonshaveyoutofearthis,Sir?Whathastheladysaid?Prayletmeknow.Ihavereasontobesoearnest.



Why,Sir,MissHoweherselfknowsnotthewhole.Theladypromisestogiveheralltheparticularsatapropertime,ifshelives;buthassaidenoughtomakeitouttobeaverybadaffair.

IamgladMissHarlowehasnotyetgivenalltheparticulars.And,sinceshehasnot,youmaytellMissHowefromme,thatneithershe,noranywomanintheworldcanbemorevirtuousthanMissHarloweistothishour,astoherownmind.Tellher,thatIhopesheneverwillknowtheparticulars;butthatshehasbeenunworthilyused:tellher,thatthoughIknownotwhatshehassaid,yetIhavesuchanopinionofherveracity,thatIwouldblindlysubscribetothetruthofeverytittleofit,thoughitmakemeeversoblack.Tellher,thatIhavebutthreethingstoblameherfor;one,thatshewon'tgivemeanopportunityofrepairingherwrongs:thesecond,thatsheissoreadytoacquainteverybodywithwhatshehassuffered,thatitwillputitoutofmypowertoredressthosewrongs,withanytolerablereputationtoeitherofus.Willthis,Mr.Hickman,answeranypartoftheintentionofthisvisit?

Why,Sir,thisistalkinglikeamanofhonour,Iown.Butyousaythereisathirdthingyoublametheladyfor:MayIaskwhatthatis?

Idon'tknow,Sir,whetherIoughttotellityou,ornot.Perhapsyouwon'tbelieveit,ifIdo.Butthoughtheladywilltellthetruth,andnothingbutthetruth,yet,perhaps,shewillnottellthewholetruth.

Pray,Sir--Butitmayn'tbeproper--Yetyougivemegreatcuriosity.Surethereisnomisconductinthelady.Ihopethereisnot.Iamsure,ifMissHowedidnotbelievehertobefaultlessineveryparticular,shewouldnotinterestherselfsomuchinherfavourasshedoes,dearlyasshelovesher.

IloveMissHarlowetoowell,Mr.Hickman,towishtolessenherinMissHowe'sopinion;especiallyassheisabandonedofeveryotherfriend.But,perhaps,itwouldhardlybecredited,ifIshouldtellyou.

Ishouldbeverysorry,Sir,andsowouldMissHowe,ifthispoorlady'sconducthadlaidherunderobligationtoyouforthisreserve.--Youhave

somuchtheappearanceofagentleman,aswellasaresomuchdistinguishedinyourfamilyandfortunes,thatIhopeyouareincapableofloadingsuchayoungladyasthis,inordertolightenyourself----Excuseme,Sir.

Ido,Ido,Mr.Hickman.Yousayyoucamenotwithanyintentiontoaffrontme.Itakefreedom,andIgiveit.Ishouldbeveryloth,Irepeat,tosayanythingthatmayweakenMissHarloweinthegoodopinionoftheonlyfriendshethinksshehasleft.

Itmaynotbeproper,saidhe,formetoknowyourthirdarticleagainstthisunhappylady:butIneverheardofanybody,outofherownimplacablefamily,thathadtheleastdoubtofherhonour.Mrs.Howe,

indeed,oncesaid,afteraconferencewithoneofheruncles,thatshefearedallwasnotrightonherside.--Butelse,Ineverheard--

Oons,Sir,inafiercetone,andwithanerectmien,stoppingshortuponhim,whichmadehimstartback--'tisnexttoblasphemytoquestionthislady'shonour.Sheismorepurethanavestal;forvestalshaveoftenbeenwarmedbytheirownfires.Noage,fromthefirsttothepresent,everproduced,norwillthefuture,totheendoftheworld,Idareaver,everproduce,ayoungbloominglady,triedasshehasbeentried,whohasstoodalltrials,asshehasdone.--Letmetellyou,Sir,thatyounever



saw,neverknew,neverheardof,suchanotherwomanasMissHarlowe.

Sir,Sir,Ibegyourpardon.Farbeitfrommetoquestionthelady.Youhavenotheardmesayawordthatcouldbesoconstrued.Ihavetheutmosthonourforher.MissHowelovesher,asshelovesherownsoul;andthatshewouldnotdo,ifshewerenotsureshewereasvirtuousasherself.

Asherself,Sir!--IhaveahighopinionofMissHowe,Sir--but,Idaresay--

What,Sir,dareyousayofMissHowe!--Ihope,Sir,youwillnotpresumetosayanythingtothedisparagementofMissHowe.

Presume,Mr.Hickman!--thatispresuminglanguage,letmetellyou,Mr.Hickman!

Theoccasionforit,Mr.Lovelace,ifdesigned,ispresuming,ifyouplease.--Iamnotamanreadytotakeoffence,Sir--especiallywhereIamemployedasamediator.ButnomanbreathingshallsaydisparagingthingsofMissHowe,inmyhearing,withoutobservation.

Wellsaid,Mr.Hickman.Idislikenotyourspirit,onsuchasupposedoccasion.ButwhatIwasgoingtosayisthis.Thatthereisnot,inmy

opinion,awomanintheworld,whooughttocompareherselfwithMissClarissaHarlowetillshehasstoodhertrials,andhasbehavedunderthem,andafterthem,asshehasdone.Yousee,Sir,Ispeakagainstmyself.YouseeIdo.For,libertineasIamthoughttobe,Ineverwillattempttobringdownthemeasuresofrightandwrongtothestandardofmyactions.

Why,Sir,thisisveryright.Itisverynoble,Iwillsay.But'tispity,thatthemanwhocanpronouncesofineasentence,willnotsquarehisactionsaccordingly.

That,Mr.Hickman,isanotherpoint.Weallerrinsomethings.IwishnotthatMissHoweshouldhaveMissHarlowe'strials:andIrejoicethat

sheisinnodangerofanysuchfromsogoodaman.

(PoorHickman!--helookedasifheknewnotwhetherImeantacomplimentorareflection!)

But,proceededI,sinceIfindthatIhaveexcitedyourcuriosity,thatyoumaynotgoawaywithadoubtthatmaybeinjurioustothemostadmirableofwomen,IamenclinedtohinttoyouwhatIhaveinthethirdplacetoblameherfor.

Sir,asyouplease--itmaynotbeproper--

Itcannotbeveryimproper,Mr.Hickman--Soletmeaskyou,Whatwould

MissHowethink,ifherfriendisthemoredeterminedagainstme,becauseshethinks(torevengetome,Iverilybelievethat!)ofencouraginganotherlover?

How,Sir!--Surethiscannotbethecase!--Icantellyou,Sir,ifMissHowethoughtthis,shewouldnotapproveofitatall:for,littleasyouthinkMissHowelikesyou,Sir,andlittleassheapprovesofyouractionsbyherfriend,Iknowsheisofopinionthatsheoughttohavenobodylivingbutyou:andshouldcontinuesingleallherlife,ifshebenotyour's.



Revengeandobstinacy,Mr.Hickman,willmakewomen,thebestofthem,doveryunaccountablethings.Ratherthannotputoutbotheyesofamantheyareoffendedwith,theywillgiveuponeoftheirown.

Idon'tknowwhattosaytothis,Sir:butsureshecannotencourageanyotherperson'saddress!--Sosoontoo--Why,Sir,sheis,aswearetold,soill,andsoweak----

Notinresentmentweak,I'llassureyou.Iamwellacquaintedwithallhermovements--andItellyou,believeit,ornot,thatsherefusesmeinviewofanotherlover.

Canitbe?

'Tistrue,bymysoul!--HasshenothintedthistoMissHowe,doyouthink?

No,indeed,Sir.IfshehadIshouldnothavetroubledyouatthistimefromMissHowe.

Wellthen,youseeIamright:thatthoughshecannotbeguiltyofafalsehood,yetshehasnottoldherfriendthewholetruth.

Whatshallamansaytothesethings!--(lookingmoststupidlyperplexed.)Say!Say!Mr.Hickman!--Whocanaccountfortheworkingsandwaysofapassionateandoffendedwoman?EndlesswouldbethehistoriesIcouldgiveyou,withinmyownknowledge,ofthedreadfuleffectsofwoman'spassionateresentments,andwhatthatsexwilldowhendisappointed.

TherewasMissDORRINGTON,[perhapsyouknowhernot,]whorunawaywithherfather'sgroom,becausehewouldnotletherhaveahalf-payofficer,withwhom(herpassionsallup)shefellinloveatfirstsight,asheaccidentallypassedunderherwindow.

TherewasMISSSAVAGE;shemarriedhermother'scoachman,becauseher

motherrefusedherajourneytoWales;inapprehensionthatmissintendedtoleagueherselfwitharemotecousinofunequalfortunes,ofwhomshewasnotalittlefondwhenhewasavisiting-guestattheirhouseforaweek.

TherewastheyoungwidowSANDERSON,whobelievingherselfslightedbyayoungerbrotherofanoblefamily,(SarahStoutlike,)tookitintoherheadtodrownherself.

MissSALLYANDERSON,[Youhaveheardofher,nodoubt?]beingcheckedbyheruncleforencouraginganaddressbeneathher,inspite,threwherselfintothearmsofanuglydog,ashoe-maker'sapprentice,runningawaywithhiminapairofshoeshehadjustfittedtoherfeet,thoughshe

neversawthefellowbefore,andhatedhimeverafter:and,atlast,tooklaudanumtomakeherforgetforeverherownfolly.

ButcantherebeastrongerinstanceinpointthanwhattheunaccountableresentmentsofsuchaladyasMissClarissaHarloweaffordus?Whoatthisinstant,illassheis,notonlyencourages,but,inamanner,makescourttooneofthemostodiousdogsthateverwasseen?IthinkMissHoweshouldnotbetoldthis--andyetsheoughttoo,inordertodissuadeherfromsuchapreposterousrashness.



Ofie!Ostrange!MissHoweknowsnothingofthis!Tobesureshewon'tlookuponher,ifthisbetrue!

'Tistrue,verytrue,Mr.Hickman!TrueasIamheretotellyouso!--Andheisanuglyfellowtoo;ugliertolookatthanme.

Thanyou,Sir!Why,tobesure,youareoneofthehandsomestmeninEngland.

Well,butthewretchshesospitefullypreferstomeisamis-shapen,meagrevarlet;morelikeaskeletonthanaman!Thenhedresses--youneversawadevilsobedizened!Hardlyacoattohisback,norashoetohisfoot.Abald-patedvillain,yetgrudgestobuyaperuketohisbaldness:forheisascovetousashell,neversatisfied,yetplaguyrich.

Why,Sir,thereissomejokeinthis,surely.Amanofcommonpartsknowsnothowtotakesuchgentlemanasyou.But,Sir,iftherebeanytruthinthestory,whatishe?SomeJewormiserlycitizen,Isuppose,thatmayhavepresumedonthelady'sdistressfulcircumstances;andyourlivelywitpointshimoutasitpleases.

Why,therascalhasestatesineverycountyinEngland,andoutofEnglandtoo.

SomeEastIndiagovernor,Isuppose,iftherebeanythinginit.Theladyoncehadthoughtsofgoingabroad.ButIfancyallthistimeyouareinjest,Sir.Ifnot,wemustsurelyhaveheardofhim----

Heardofhim!Aye,Sir,wehaveallheardofhim--Butnoneofuscaretobeintimatewithhim--exceptthislady--andthat,asItoldyou,inspiteofme--hisname,inshort,isDEATH!--DEATH!Sir,stamping,andspeakingloud,andfullinhisears;whichmadehimjumphalfayardhigh.

(Thouneverbeheldestanymansodisconcerted.Helookedasifthefrightfulskeletonwasbeforehim,andhehadnothisaccountsready.Whenalittlerecovered,hefribbledwithhiswaistcoatbuttons,asifhe

hadbeentellinghisbeads.)

This,Sir,proceededI,isherwooer!--Nay,sheissoforwardagirl,thatshewooeshim:butIhopeitneverwillbeamatch.

Hehadbeforebehaved,andnowlookedwithmorespiritthanIexpectedfromhim.

Icame,Sir,saidhe,asamediatorofdifferences.--Itbehovesmetokeepmytemper.But,Sir,andturnedshortuponme,asmuchasIlovepeace,andtopromoteit,Iwillnotbeill-used.

AsIhadplayedsomuchuponhim,itwouldhavebeenwrongtotakehimat

hismorethanhalf-menace:yetIthinkIowehimagrudge,forhispresumingtoaddressMissHowe.

Youmeannodefiance,Ipresume,Mr.Hickman,anymorethanIdooffence.Onthatpresumption,Iaskyourexcuse.Butthisismyway.Imeannoharm.Icannotletsorrowtouchmyheart.Icannotbegravesixminutestogether,forthebloodofme.IamadescendantofoldChancellorMoore,Ibelieve;andshouldnotforbeartocutajoke,wereIuponthescaffold.Butyoumaygather,fromwhatIhavesaid,thatIpreferMissHarlowe,andthatuponthejustestgrounds,toallthewomeninthe



world:andIwonderthatthereshouldbeanydifficultytobelieve,fromwhatIhavesigned,andfromwhatIhavepromisedtomyrelations,andenabledthemtopromiseforme,thatIshouldbegladtomarrythatexcellentcreatureuponherownterms.Iacknowledgetoyou,Mr.Hickman,thatIhavebaselyinjuredher.Ifshewillhonourmewithherhand,Ideclarethatismyintentiontomakeherthebestofhusbands.--But,nevertheless,Imustsaythatifshegoesonappealinghercase,andexposingusboth,asshedoes,itisimpossibletothinktheknotcanbeknitwithreputationtoeither.Andalthough,Mr.Hickman,Ihavedeliveredmyapprehensionsundersoludicrousafigure,Iamafraidthatshewillruinherconstitution:and,byseekingDeathwhenshemayshunhim,willnotbeabletoavoidhimwhenshewouldbegladtodoso.

Thiscoolandhonestspeechletdownhisstiffenedmusclesintocomplacence.Hewasmyveryobedientandfaithfulhumbleservantseveraltimesover,asIwaitedonhimtohischariot:andIwashisalmostasoften.

AndsoexitHickman.

LETTERXXIX

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.[INANSWERTOLETTERSXXII.XXVI.XXVII.OFTHISVOLUME.]FRIDAYNIGHT,JULY21.

Iwillthrowawayafewparagraphsuponthecontentsofthylastshockinglettersjustbroughtme;andsendwhatIshallwritebythefellowwhocarriesmineontheinterviewwithHickman.

Reformation,Isee,iscomingfastuponthee.Thyuncle'sslowdeath,andthyattendanceuponhimthrougheverystagetowardsit,preparedtheeforit.Butgothouoninthineownway,asIwillinmine.Happinessconsistsinbeingpleasedwithwhatwedo:andifthoucanstfinddelight

inbeingsad,itwillbeaswellfortheeasifthouwertmerry,thoughnootherpersonshouldjointokeeptheeincountenance.

Iam,nevertheless,exceedinglydisturbedatthelady'sillhealth.Itisentirelyowingtothecursedarrest.Shewasabsolutelytriumphantovermeandthewholecrewbefore.Thoubelievestmeguiltlessofthat:so,Ihope,doesshe.--Therest,asIhaveoftensaid,isacommoncase;onlyalittleuncommonlycircumstanced;that'sall:Why,then,alltheseseverethingsfromher,andfromthee?

Astosellingherclothes,andherlaces,andsoforth,ithas,Iown,ashockingsoundtoit.Whatanimplacableaswellasunjustsetofwretchesarethoseofherunkindredlykin,whohavemoneyofher'sin

theirhands,aswellaslargearrearsofherownestate;yetwith-holdboth,avowedlytodistressher!Butmayshenothavemoneyofthatproudandsaucyfriendofher's,MissHowe,morethanshewants?--AndshouldnotIbeoverjoyed,thinkestthou,toserveher?----Whatthenisthereinthepartingwithherapparelbutfemaleperverseness?--AndIamnotsure,whetherIoughtnottobeglad,ifshedoesthisoutofspitetome.--Somedisappointedfair-oneswouldhavehanged,somedrownedthemselves.Mybelovedonlyrevengesherselfuponherclothes.Differentwaysofworkinghaspassionindifferentbosoms,ashumoursorcomplexioninduce.--Besides,dostthinkIshallgrudgetoreplace,tothreetimesthe



value,whatshedisposesof?So,Jack,thereisnogreatmatterinthis.

Thouseesthowsensiblesheisofthesoothingsofthepolitedoctor:thiswillenabletheetojudgehowdreadfullythehorridarrest,andhergloomyfather'scurse,musthavehurther.Ihavegreathope,ifshewillbutseeme,thatmybehaviour,mycontrition,mysoothings,mayhavesomehappyeffectuponher.

Butthouarttooreadytogiveup.Letmeseriouslytelltheethat,allexcellenceassheis,Ithinktheearnestinterpositionofmyrelations;theimploredmediationofthatlittlefuryMissHowe;andthecommissionsthouactestunderfrommyself;aresuchinstancesofcondescensionandhighvalueinthem,andsuchcontritioninme,thatnothingfarthercanbedone.--Sohereletthematterrestforthepresent,tillsheconsidersbetterofit.

ButnowafewwordsuponpoorBelton'scase.IownIwasatfirstalittlestartledatthedisloyaltyofhisThomasine.Herhypocrisytobeforsomanyyearsundetected!--Ihaveverylatelyhadsomeintimationsgivenmeofhervileness;andhadintendedtomentionthemtotheewhenIsawthee.Tosaythetruth,Ialwayssuspectedhereye:theeye,thouknowest,isthecasementatwhichtheheartgenerallylooksout.Manyawoman,whowillnotshowherselfatthedoor,hastiptthesly,theintelligiblewinkfromthewindows.

ButTom.hadnomanagementatall.Averycarelessfellow.Wouldneverlookintohisownaffairs.Theestatehisunclelefthimwashisruin:wife,ormistress,whoeverwas,musthavehadhisfortunetosportwith.

Ihaveoftenhintedhisweaknessofthissorttohim;andthedangerhewasinofbecomingthepropertyofdesigningpeople.Buthehatedtotakepains.Hewouldeverrunawayfromhisaccounts;asnow,poorfellow!hewouldbegladtodofromhimself.Hadhenothadawomantofleecehim,hiscoachmanorvalet,wouldhavebeenhisprime-minister,anddoneitaseffectually.

Butyet,formanyyears,Ithoughtshewastruetohisbed.AtleastI

thoughttheboyswerehisown.Forthoughtheyaremuscular,andbig-boned,yetIsupposedthehealthymothermighthavefurnishedthemwithlegsandshoulders:forsheisnotofadelicateframe;andthenTom.,someyearsago,lookedup,andspokemorelikeaman,thanhehasdoneoflate;squeakinginwardly,poorfellow!forsometimepast,fromcontractedquail-pipes,andwheezingfromlungshalfspitaway.

Hecomplains,thousayest,thatweallrunawayfromhim.Why,afterall,Belford,itisnopleasantthingtoseeapoorfellowoneloves,dyingbyinches,yetunabletodohimgood.Therearefriendshipswhichareonlybottle-deep:Ishouldbelothtohaveitthoughtthatmineforanyofmyvassalsissuchaone.Yet,withgayhearts,whichbecomeintimatebecausetheyweregay,thereasonfortheirfirstintimacy

ceasing,thefriendshipwillfade:butmaynotthissortoffriendshipbemoreproperlydistinguishedbythewordcompanionship?

Butmine,asIsaid,isdeeperthanthis:IwouldstillbeasreadyaseverIwasinmylife,totheutmostofmypower,todohimservice.

AsonceinstanceofthismyreadinesstoextricatehimfromallhisdifficultiesastoThomasine,dostthoucaretoproposetohimanexpedient,thatisjustcomeintomyhead?



Itisthis:IwouldengageThomasineandhercubs(ifBeltonbeconvincedtheyareneitherofthemhis)inapartyofpleasure.Shewasalwayscomplaisanttome.Itshouldbeinaboat,hiredforthepurpose,tosailtoTilbury,totheIsleShepey,orpleasuringuptheMedway;and'tisbutcontrivingtoturntheboatbottomupward.Icanswimlikeafish.AnotherboatshallbereadytotakeupwhomIshoulddirect,forfearoftheworst:andthen,ifTom.hasamindtobedecent,onesuitofmourningwillserveforallthree:Nay,thehostler-cousinmaytakehisplungefromthesteerage:andwhoknowsbuttheymaybethrownuponthebeach,Thomasineandhe,handinhand?

This,thou'ltsay,isnocommoninstanceoffriendship.

Meantime,dothouprevailonhimtocomedowntous:heneverwasmorewelcomeinhislifethanheshallbenow.Ifhewillnot,lethimfindmesomeotherservice;andIwillclapapairofwingstomyshoulders,andheshallseemecomeflyinginathiswindowsatthewordofcommand.

MowbrayandTourvilleeachintendtogivetheealetter;andIleavetothoseroughvarletstohandletheeasthoudeservest,fortheshockingpicturethouhastdrawnoftheirlastends.Thyownpastguilthasstaredtheefullintheface,onemayseebyit;andmadethee,inconsciousnessofthydemerits,sketchoutthesecursedout-lines.Iamgladthouhastgottheoldfiendtoholdtheglass*beforethyownface

sosoon.Thoumustbeinearnestsurely,whenthouwrotestit,andhavesevereconvictionuponthee:forwhatahardenedvarletmusthebe,whocoulddrawsuchapictureasthisinsport?

*SeeLetterXXVI.ofthisvolume.

Asforthyresolutionofrepentingandmarrying;Iwouldhavetheeconsiderwhichthouwiltsetaboutfirst.Ifthouwiltfollowmyadvice,thoushaltmakeshortworkofit:letmatrimonytakeplaceoftheother;forthenthouwilt,verypossibly,haverepentancecometumblinginfastuponthee,asaconsequence,andsohavebothinone.

LETTERXXX

MR.BELFORD,TOMR.ROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.FRIDAYNOON,JULY21.

ThismorningIwasadmitted,assoonasIsentupmyname,intothepresenceofthedivinelady.SuchImaycallher;aswhatIhavetorelatewillfullyprove.

Shehadhadatolerablenight,andwasmuchbetterinspirits;thoughweakinperson;andvisiblydeclininginlooks.

Mrs.LovickandMrs.Smithwerewithher;andaccusedher,inagentlemanner,ofhavingappliedherselftooassiduouslytoherpenforherstrength,havingbeenupeversincefive.Shesaid,shehadrestedbetterthanshehaddoneformanynights:shehadfoundherspiritsfree,andhermindtolerablyeasy:andhaving,asshehadreasontothink,butashorttime,andmuchtodoinit,shemustbeagoodhousewifeofherhours.



Shehadbeenwriting,shesaid,alettertohersister:buthadnotpleasedherselfinit;thoughshehadmadetwoorthreeessays:butthatthelastmustgo.

ByhintsIhaddroptfromtimetotime,shehadreason,shesaid,tothinkthatIkneweverythingthatconcernedherandherfamily;and,ifso,mustbeacquaintedwiththeheavycurseherfatherhadlaiduponher;whichhadbeendreadfullyfulfilledinonepart,astoherprospectsinthislife,andthatinaveryshorttime;whichgavehergreatapprehensionsoftheotherpart.Shehadbeenapplyingherselftohersister,toobtainarevocationofit.Ihopemyfatherwillrevokeit,saidshe,orIshallbeverymiserable--Yet[andshegaspedasshespoke,withapprehension]--Iamreadytotrembleatwhattheanswermaybe;formysisterishard-hearted.

Isaidsomethingreflectinguponherfriends;astowhattheywoulddeservetobethoughtof,iftheunmeritedimprecationwerenotwithdrawn.Uponwhichshetookmeup,andtalkedinsuchadutifulmannerofherparentsasmustdoublycondemnthem(iftheyremainimplacable)fortheirinhumantreatmentofsuchadaughter.

Shesaid,Imustnotblameherparents:itwasherdearMissHowe'sfaulttodoso.Butwhatanenormitywasthereinhercrime,whichcouldset

thebestofparents(theyhadbeentoher,tillshedisobligedthem)inabadlight,forresentingtherashnessofachildfromwhoseeducationtheyhadreasontoexpectbetterfruits!Thereweresomehardcircumstancesinhercase,itwastrue:butmyfriendcouldtellme,thatnooneperson,throughoutthewholefataltransaction,hadactedoutofcharacter,butherself.Shesubmittedthereforetothepenaltyshehadincurred.Iftheyhadanyfault,itwasonlythattheywouldnotinformthemselvesofsuchcircumstances,whichwouldalleviatealittlehermisdeed;andthatsupposingheramoreguiltycreaturethanshewas,theypunishedherwithoutahearing.

Lord!--Iwasgoingtocursethee,Lovelace!Howeveryinstanceofexcellence,inthisallexcellingcreature,condemnsthee;--thouwilt

havereasontothinkthyselfofallmenthemostaccursed,ifshedie!

Ithenbesoughther,whileshewascapableofsuchgloriousinstancesofgenerosity,andforgiveness,toextendhergoodnesstoaman,whoseheartbledineveryveinofitfortheinjurieshehaddoneher;andwhowouldmakeitthestudyofhiswholelifetorepairthem.

Thewomenwouldhavewithdrawnwhenthesubjectbecamesoparticular.Butshewouldnotpermitthemtogo.Shetoldme,thatifafterthistimeIwasforenteringwithsomuchearnestnessintoasubjectsoverydisagreeabletoher,myvisitsmustnotberepeated.Norwasthereoccasion,shesaid,formyfriendlyofficesinyourfavour;sinceshehadbeguntowriteherwholeminduponthatsubjecttoMissHowe,in

answertolettersfromher,inwhichMissHoweurgedthesamearguments,incomplimenttothewishesofyournobleandworthyrelations.

Meantime,youmaylethimknow,saidshe,thatIrejecthimwithmywholeheart:--yet,thatalthoughIsaythiswithsuchadeterminationasshallleavenoroomfordoubt,Isayitnothoweverwithpassion.Onthecontrary,tellhim,thatIamtryingtobringmymindintosuchaframeastobeabletopityhim;[poorperjuredwretch!whathashenottoanswerfor!]andthatIshallnotthinkmyselfqualifiedforthestateIamaspiringto,if,afterafewstrugglesmore,Icannotforgivehimtoo:



andIhope,claspingherhandstogether,upliftedaswerehereyes,mydearearthlyfatherwillsetmetheexamplemyheavenlyonehasalreadysetusall;and,byforgivinghisfallendaughter,teachhertoforgivetheman,whothen,Ihope,willnothavedestroyedmyeternalprospects,ashehasmytemporal!

Stophere,thouwretch!--butIneednotbidthee!----forIcangonofarther!

LETTERXXXI

MR.BELFORD[INCONTINUATION.]

Youwillimaginehowaffectinghernoblespeechandbehaviourweretome,atthetimewhenthebarerecollectingandtranscribingthemobligedmetodropmypen.Thewomenhadtearsintheireyes.Iwassilentforafewmoments.--Atlast,Matchlessexcellence!Inimitablegoodness!Icalledher,withavoicesoaccented,thatIwashalf-ashamedofmyself,asitwasbeforethewomen--butwhocouldstandsuchsublimegenerosityofsoulinsoyoungacreature,herlovelinessgivinggracetoallshe

said?Methinks,saidI,[andIreally,inamanner,involuntarilybentmyknee,]Ihavebeforemeanangelindeed.Icanhardlyforbearprostration,andtobegyourinfluencetodrawmeafteryoutotheworldyouareaspiringto!--Yet--butwhatshallIsay--Only,dearestexcellence,makeme,insomesmallinstances,serviceabletoyou,thatImay(ifIsurviveyou)havetheglorytothinkIwasabletocontributetoyoursatisfaction,whileamongus.

HereIstopt.Shewassilent.Iproceeded--Haveyounocommissiontoemploymein;desertedasyouarebyallyourfriends;amongstrangers,thoughIdoubtnot,worthypeople?CannotIbeserviceablebymessage,byletter-writing,byattendingpersonally,witheithermessageorletter,yourfather,youruncles,yourbrother,yoursister,MissHowe,

LordM.,ortheLadieshissisters?--anyofficetobeemployedtoserveyou,absolutelyindependentofmyfriend'swishes,orofmyownwishestoobligehim?--Think,Madam,ifIcannot?

Ithankyou,Sir:veryheartilyIthankyou:butinnothingthatIcanatpresentthinkof,oratleastresolveupon,canyoudomeservice.IwillseewhatreturntheletterIhavewrittenwillbringme.--Tillthen----

Mylifeandmyfortune,interruptedI,aredevotedtoyourservice.Permitmetoobserve,thathereyouare,withoutonenaturalfriend;and(somuchdoIknowofyourunhappycase)thatyoumustbeinamannerdestituteofthemeanstomakefriends----

Shewasgoingtointerruptme,withaprohibitorykindofearnestnessinhermanner.

Ibegleavetoproceed,Madam:Ihavecastabouttwentywayshowtomentionthisbefore,butneverdaredtillnow.Suffermenow,thatIhavebrokentheice,totendermyself--asyourbankeronly.--Iknowyouwillnotbeobliged:youneednot.Youhavesufficientofyourown,ifitwereinyourhands;andfromthat,whetheryouliveordie,willIconsenttobereimbursed.Idoassureyou,thattheunhappymanshall



neverknoweithermyoffer,oryouracceptance--Onlypermitmethissmall----

Anddownbehindherchairdroptabanknoteof100Â£.whichIhadbroughtwithme,intendingsomehoworothertoleaveitbehindme:norshouldstthoueverhaveknownit,hadshefavouredmewiththeacceptanceofit;asItoldher.

Yougivemegreatpain,Mr.Belford,saidshe,bytheseinstancesofyourhumanity.Andyet,consideringthecompanyIhaveseenyouin,Iamnotsorrytofindyoucapableofsuch.MethinksIamglad,forthesakeofhumannature,thattherecouldbebutonesuchmanintheworld,asheyouandIknow.Butastoyourkindoffer,whateveritbe,ifyoutakeitnotup,youwillgreatlydisturbme.Ihavenoneedofyourkindness.Ihaveeffectsenough,whichInevercanwant,tosupplymypresentoccasion:and,ifneedful,canhaverecoursetoMissHowe.IhavepromisedthatIwould--So,pray,Sir,urgenotuponmethisfavour.--Takeitupyourself.--Ifyoumeanmepeaceandeaseofmind,urgenotthisfavour.--Andshespokewithimpatience.

Ibeg,Madam,butoneword----

Notone,Sir,tillyouhavetakenbackwhatyouhaveletfall.Idoubtnoteitherthehonour,orthekindness,ofyouroffer;butyoumustnot

sayonewordmoreonthissubject.Icannotbearit.Shewasstooping,butwithpain.Ithereforepreventedher;andbesoughthertoforgivemeforatender,which,Isaw,hadbeenmorediscomposingtoherthanIhadhoped(fromthepurityofmyintentions)itwouldbe.ButIcouldnotbeartothinkthatsuchamindasher'sshouldbedistressed:sincethewantoftheconvenienciesshewasusedtoaboundinmightaffectanddisturbherinthedivinecourseshewasin.

Youareverykindtome,Sir,saidshe,andveryfavourableinyouropinionofme.ButIhopethatIcannotnowbeeasilyputoutofmypresentcourse.Mydeclininghealthwillmoreandmoreconfirmmeinit.Thosewhoarrestedandconfinedme,nodoubt,thoughttheyhadfallen

uponthemostreadymethodtodistressmesoastobringmeintoalltheirmeasures.ButIpresumetohopethatIhaveamindthatcannotbedebased,inessentialinstances,bytemporalcalamities.

Littledothosepoorwretchesknowoftheforceofinnateprinciples,(forgivemyownimpliedvanity,washerword,)whoimagine,thataprison,orpenury,canbringaright-turnedmindtobeguiltyofawilfulbaseness,inordertoavoidsuchshort-livedevils.

Shethenturnedfrommetowardsthewindow,withadignitysuitabletoherwords;andsuchasshowedhertobemoreofsoulthanofbodyatthatinstant.

Whatmagnanimity!--Nowonderavirtuesosolidlyfoundedcouldbaffleallthyarts:andthatitforcedthee(inordertocarrythyaccursedpoint)tohaverecoursetothoseunnaturalones,whichrobbedherofhercharmingsenses.

Thewomenwereextremelyaffected,Mrs.Lovickespecially;whosaid,whisperinglytoMrs.Smith,Wehaveanangel,notawoman,withus,Mrs.Smith!

Irepeatedmyofferstowritetoanyofherfriends;andtoldher,that,



havingtakenthelibertytoacquaintDr.H.withthecrueldispleasureofherrelations,aswhatIpresumedlaynearesttoherheart,hehadproposedtowritehimself,toacquaintherfriendshowillshewas,ifshewouldnottakeitamiss.

ItwaskindintheDoctor,shesaid:butbegged,thatnostepofthatsortmightbetakenwithoutherknowledgeorconsent.Shewouldwaittoseewhateffectsherlettertohersisterwouldhave.Allshehadtohopeforwas,thatherfatherwouldrevokehismalediction,previoustothelastblessingsheshouldthenimplore.Fortherest,herfriendswouldthinkshecouldnotsuffertoomuch;andshewascontenttosuffer:fornownothingcouldhappenthatcouldmakeherwishtolive.

Mrs.Smithwentdown;and,soonreturning,asked,iftheladyandIwouldnotdinewithherthatday;foritwasherwedding-day.ShehadengagedMrs.Lovickshesaid;andshouldhavenobodyelse,ifwewoulddoherthatfavour.

Thecharmingcreaturesighed,andshookherhead.--Wedding-day,repeatedshe!--Iwishyou,Mrs.Smith,manyhappywedding-days!--Butyouwillexcuseme.

Mr.Smithcameupwiththesamerequest.Theybothappliedtome.

Onconditiontheladywould,Ishouldmakenoscruple;andwouldsuspendanengagement:whichIactuallyhad.

Shethendesiredtheywouldallsitdown.Youhaveseveraltimes,Mrs.LovickandMrs.Smith,hintedyourwishes,thatIwouldgiveyousomelittlehistoryofmyself:now,ifyouareatleisure,thatthisgentleman,who,Ihavereasontobelieve,knowsitall,ispresent,andcantellyouifIgiveitjustly,ornot,Iwillobligeyourcuriosity.

Theyalleagerly,themanSmithtoo,satdown;andshebegananaccountofherself,whichIwillendeavourtorepeat,asnearlyinherownwordsasIpossiblycan:forIknowyouwillthinkitofimportancetobeapprizedofhermannerofrelatingyourbarbaritytoher,aswellaswhat

hersentimentsareofit;andwhatroomthereisforthehopesyourfriendshaveinyourfavourforher.

'AtfirstwhenItooktheselodgings,saidshe,Ithoughtofstayingbutashorttimeinthem;andsoMrs.Smith,Itoldyou:IthereforeavoidedgivinganyotheraccountofmyselfthanthatIwasaveryunhappyyoungcreature,seducedfromgood,andescapedfromveryvilewretches.

'ThisaccountIthoughtmyselfobligedtogive,thatyoumightthelesswonderatseeingayoungcreaturerushingthroughyourshop,intoyourbackapartment,alltremblingandoutofbreath;anordinarygarbovermyown;cravinglodgingandprotection;onlygivingmybareword,thatyoushouldbehandsomelypaid:allmyeffectscontainedina

pocket-handkerchief.

'Mysuddenabsence,forthreedaysandnightstogetherwhenarrested,muststillfurthersurpriseyou:andalthoughthisgentleman,who,perhaps,knowsmoreofthedarkerpartofmystory,thanIdomyself,hasinformedyou(asyou,Mrs.Lovick,tellme)thatIamonlyanunhappy,notaguiltycreature;yetIthinkitincumbentuponmenottosufferhonestmindstobeindoubtaboutmycharacter.

'Youmustknow,then,thatIhavebeen,inoneinstance(Ihadliketo



havesaidbutinoneinstance;butthatwasacapitalone)anundutifulchildtothemostindulgentofparents:forwhatsomepeoplecallcrueltyinthem,isowingbuttotheexcessoftheirlove,andtotheirdisappointment,havinghadreasontoexpectbetterfromme.

'Iwasvisited(atfirst,withmyfriendsconnivance)byamanofbirthandfortune,butofworseprinciples,asitproved,thanIbelievedanymancouldhave.Mybrother,averyheadstrongyoungman,wasabsentatthattime;and,whenhereturned,(fromanoldgrudge,andknowingthegentleman,itisplain,betterthanIknewhim)entirelydisapprovedofhisvisits:and,havingagreatswayinourfamily,broughtothergentlementoaddressme:andatlast(severalhavingbeenrejected)heintroducedoneextremelydisagreeable:ineveryindifferentperson'seyesdisagreeable.Icouldnotlovehim.Theyalljoinedtocompelmetohavehim;arencounterbetweenthegentlemanmyfriendsweresetagainst,andmybrother,havingconfirmedthemallhisenemies.

'Tobeshort;Iwasconfined,andtreatedsoveryhardly,that,inarashfit,Iappointedtogooffwiththemantheyhated.Awickedintention,you'llsay!butIwasgreatlyprovoked.Nevertheless,Irepented,andresolvednottogooffwithhim:yetIdidnotmistrusthishonourtomeneither;norhislove;becausenobodythoughtmeunworthyofthelatter,andmyfortunewasnottobedespised.Butfoolishly(wickedlyandcontrivingly,asmyfriendsstillthink,withadesign,astheyimagine,

toabandonthem)givinghimaprivatemeeting,Iwastrickedaway;poorlyenoughtrickedaway,Imustneedssay;thoughotherswhohadbeenfirstguiltyofsorashastepasthemeetingofhimwas,mighthavebeensodeceivedandsurprisedaswellasI.

'Afterremainingsometimeatafarm-houseinthecountry,andbehavingtomeallthetimewithhonour,hebroughtmetohandsomelodgingsintowntillstillbetterprovisioncouldbemadeforme.Buttheyprovedtobe(asheindeedknewanddesigned)atavile,averyvilecreature's;thoughitwaslongbeforeIfoundhertobeso;forIknewnothingofthetown,oritsways.

'Thereisnorepeatingwhatfollowed:suchunprecedentedvilearts!--For

Igavehimnoopportunitytotakemeatanydisreputableadvantage.'--

Andhere(halfcoveringhersweetface,withherhandkerchiefputtohertearfuleyes)shestopt.

Hastily,asifshewouldflyfromthehatefulremembrance,sheresumed:--'Imadeescapeafterwardfromtheabominablehouseinhisabsence,andcametoyour's:andthisgentlemanhasalmostprevailedonmetothink,thattheungratefulmandidnotconniveatthevilearrest:whichwasmade,nodoubt,inordertogetmeoncemoretothosewickedlodgings:fornothingdoIowethem,exceptIweretopaythem'--[shesighed,andagainwipedhercharmingeyes--addinginasofter,lowervoice]--'forbeingruined.'

Indeed,Madam,saidI,guilty,abominablyguilty,asheisinalltherest,heisinnocentofthislastwickedoutrage.

'Well,andsoIwishhimtobe.Thatevil,heavyasitwas,isoneoftheslightestevilsIhavesuffered.Buthenceyou'llobserve,Mrs.Lovick,(foryouseemedthismorningcurioustoknowifIwerenotawife,)thatIneverwasmarried.--You,Mr.Belford,nodoubt,knewbeforethatIamnowife:andnowIneverwillbeone.Yet,IblessGod,thatIamnotaguiltycreature!



'Astomyparentage,Iamofnomeanfamily;Ihaveinmyownright,bytheintendedfavourofmygrandfather,afortunenotcontemptible:independentofmyfather;ifIhadpleased;butIneverwillplease.

'Myfatherisveryrich.IwentbyanothernamewhenIcametoyoufirst:butthatwastoavoidbeingdiscoveredtotheperfidiousman:whonowengages,bythisgentleman,nottomolestme.

'MyrealnameyounowknowtobeHarlowe:ClarissaHarlowe.Iamnotyettwentyyearsofage.

'Ihaveanexcellentmother,aswellasfather;awomanoffamily,andfinesense--worthyofabetterchild!--theybothdoateduponme.

'Ihavetwogooduncles:menofgreatfortune;jealousofthehonouroftheirfamily;whichIhavewounded.

'Iwasthejoyoftheirhearts;and,withtheirsandmyfather's,Ihadthreehousestocallmyown;fortheyusedtohavemewiththembyturns,andalmostkindlytoquarrelforme;sothatIwastwomonthsintheyearwiththeone;twomonthswiththeother;sixmonthsatmyfather's;andtwoatthehousesofothersofmydearfriends,whothoughtthemselveshappyinme:andwheneverIwasatanyone's,Iwascrowdeduponwith

lettersbyalltherest,wholongedformyreturntothem.'Inshort,Iwasbelovedbyeverybody.Thepoor--Iusedtomakegladtheirhearts:Inevershutmyhandtoanydistress,whereverIwas--butnowIampoormyself!

'SoMrs.Smith,soMrs.Lovick,Iamnotmarried.Itisbutjusttotellyouso.AndIamnow,asIoughttobe,inastateofhumiliationandpenitencefortherashstepwhichhasbeenfollowedbysomuchevil.God,Ihope,willforgiveme,asIamendeavouringtobringmymindtoforgivealltheworld,eventhemanwhohasungratefully,andbydreadfulperjuries,[poorwretch!hethoughtallhiswickednesstobewit!]reducedtothisayoungcreature,whohadhishappinessinherview,and

inherwish,evenbeyondthislife;andwhowasbelievedtobeofrank,andfortune,andexpectations,considerableenoughtomakeittheinterestofanygentlemaninEnglandtobefaithfultohisvowstoher.ButIcannotexpectthatmyparentswillforgiveme:myrefugemustbedeath;themostpainfulkindofwhichIwouldsuffer,ratherthanbethewifeofonewhocouldactbyme,asthemanhasacted,uponwhosebirth,education,andhonour,Ihadsomuchreasontofoundbetterexpectations.

'Isee,continuedshe,thatI,whooncewaseveryone'sdelight,amnowthecauseofgrieftoeveryone--you,thatarestrangerstome,aremovedforme!'tiskind!--but'tistimetostop.Yourcompassionatehearts,Mrs.SmithandMrs.Lovick,aretoomuchtouched,'[Forthewomensobbed,andthemanwasalsoaffected.]'Itisbarbarousinme,withmywoes,

thustosaddenyourwedding-day.'ThenturningtoMr.andMrs.Smith--'Mayyouseemanyhappyones,honest,goodcouple!--howagreeableisittoseeyoubothjoinsokindlytocelebrateit,aftermanyyearsaregoneoveryou!--Ionce--butnomore!--Allmyprospectsoffelicity,astothislife,areatanend.Myhopes,likeopeningbudsorblossomsinanover-forwardspring,havebeenniptbyaseverefrost!--blightedbyaneasternwind!--butIcanbutoncedie;andiflifebesparedme,buttillIamdischargedfromaheavymalediction,whichmyfatherinhiswrathlaiduponme,andwhichisfulfilledliterallyineveryarticlerelatingtothisworld;that,andalastblessing,areallIhavetowishfor;and



deathwillbewelcomertome,thanresttothemostweariedtravellerthateverreachedhisjourney'send.'

Andthenshesunkherheadagainstthebackofherchair,and,hidingherfacewithherhandkerchief,endeavouredtoconcealhertearsfromus.

Notasoulofuscouldspeakaword.Thypresence,perhaps,thouhardenedwretch,mighthavemadeusashamedofaweaknesswhichperhapsthouwiltderidemeinparticularfor,whenthoureadestthis!----

Sheretiredtoherchambersoonafter,andwasforced,itseems,toliedown.Weallwentdowntogether;and,foranhourandahalf,dweltuponherpraises;Mrs.SmithandMrs.Lovickrepeatedlyexpressingtheirastonishment,thattherecouldbeamanintheworld,capableofoffending,muchmoreofwilfullyinjuringsuchalady;andrepeating,thattheyhadanangelintheirhouse.--Ithoughttheyhad;andthatasassuredlyasthereisadevilundertheroofofgoodLordM.

Ihatetheeheartily!--bymyfaithIdo!--everyhourIhatetheemorethantheformer!----

J.BELFORD.

LETTERXXXII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SATURDAY,JULY22.

Whatdosthatemefor,Belford!--andwhymoreandmore!haveIbeenguiltyofanyoffencethouknewestnotbefore?--Ifpathoscanmovesuchaheartasthine,canitalterfacts!--DidInotalwaysdothisincomparablecreatureasmuchjusticeasthoucanstdoherfortheheartofthee,orasshecandoherself?----Whatnonsensethenthyhatred,thyaugmentedhatred,whenIstillpersisttomarryher,pursuanttoword

giventothee,andtofaithplightedtoallmyrelations?Buthate,ifthouwilt,sothoudostbutwrite.ThoucanstnothatemesomuchasIdomyself:andyetIknowifthoureallyhatedstme,thouwouldstnotventuretotellmeso.

Well,butafterall,whatneedofherhistorytothesewomen?Shewillcertainlyrepent,sometimehence,thatshehasthusneedlessexposedusboth.

Sicknesspallseveryappetite,andmakesushatewhatweloved:butrenewedhealthchangesthescene;disposesustobepleasedwithourselves;andthenweareinawaytobepleasedwitheveryoneelse.Everyhope,then,risesuponus:everyhourpresentsitselftouson

dancingfeet:andwhatMr.Addisonsaysofliberty,may,withstillgreaterpropriety,besaidofhealth,forwhatislibertyitselfwithouthealth?

Itmakesthegloomyfaceofnaturegay;Givesbeautytothesun,andpleasuretotheday.

AndIrejoicethatsheisalreadysomuchbetter,astoholdwithstrangerssuchalongandinterestingconversation.



Strange,confoundedlystrange,andasperverse[thatistosay,womanly]asstrange,thatsheshouldrefuse,andsoonerchoosetodie[Otheobsceneword!andyethowfreedoesthypenmakewithittome!]thanbemine,whooffendedherbyactingincharacter,whileherparentsactedshamefullyoutoftheirs,andwhenIamnowwillingtoactoutofmyowntoobligeher;yetIamnottobeforgiven;theytobefaultlesswithher!--andmarriagetheonlymediumtorepairallbreaches,andtosalveherownhonour!--Surelythoumustseetheinconsistenceofherforgivingunforgiveness,asImaycallit!--yet,heavyvarletasthouart,thouwantesttobedrawnupafterher!Andwhatafiguredostthoumakewiththyspeeches,stiffasHickman'sruffles,withthyaspirationsandprotestations!--unused,thyweakhead,tobearthesublimitiesthatfall,evenincommonconversation,fromthelipsofthisever-charmingcreature!

Buttheprettiestwhimofallwas,todropthebanknotebehindherchair,insteadofpresentingitonthykneestoherhand!--Tomakesuchawomanasthisdoublystoop--bytheacceptance,andtotakeitfromtheground!--Whatanungratefulbenefit-conferrerartthou!--Howawkward,totakeinintothyhead,thatthebestwayofmakingapresenttoaladywastothrowthepresentbehindherchair!

Iamverydesiroustoseewhatshehaswrittentohersister;whatsheisabouttowritetoMissHowe;andwhatreturnshewillhavefromthe

Harlowe-Arabella.Canstthounotformsomeschemetocomeatthecopiesoftheseletters,orthesubstanceofthematleast,andofthatofherothercorrespondencies?Mrs.Lovick,thouseemesttosay,isapiouswoman.Thelady,havinggivensuchaparticularhistoryofherself,willacquaintherwitheverything.Andartthounotabouttoreform!--Won'tthisconsentofmindsbetweentheeandthewidow,[whatageisshe,Jack?thedevilnevertrumptupafriendshipbetweenamanandawoman,ofanythinglikeyears,whichdidnotendinmatrimony,orintheruinoftheirmorals!]Won'titstrikeoutanintimacybetweenye,thatmayenabletheetogratifymeinthisparticular?Aproselyte,Icantellthee,hasgreatinfluenceuponyourgoodpeople:suchaoneisasaintoftheirowncreation:andtheywillwater,andcultivate,andcherishhim,asaplantoftheirownraising:andthisfromapridetrulyspiritual!

OneofmyloversinPariswasadevotÃ©e.Shetookgreatpainstoconvertme.Igavewaytoherkindendeavoursforthegoodofmysoul.Shethoughtitapointgainedtomakemeprofesssomereligion.Thecatholichasitsconveniencies.Ipermittedhertobringafathertome.Myreformationwentonswimmingly.Thefatherhadhopesofme:heapplaudedherzeal:sodidI.Andhowdostthouthinkitended?--NotagirlinEngland,readingthusfar,butwouldguess!--Inaword,veryhappily:forshenotonlybroughtmeafather,butmademeone:andthen,beingsatisfiedwitheachother'sconversation,wetookdifferentroutes:sheintoNavarre;IintoItaly:bothwellinclinedtopropagatethegoodlessonsinwhichwehadsowellinstructedeachother.

Buttoreturn.Oneconsolationarisestome,fromtheprettyregretswhichthisadmirablecreatureseemstohaveinindulgingreflectionsonthepeople'swedding-day.--IONCE!--thoumakestherbreakoffwithsaying.

Sheonce!What--OBelford!whydidstthounoturgehertoexplainwhatsheoncehoped?

Whatonceawomanhopes,inlovematters,shealwayshopes,whilethereisroomforhope:Andarewenotbothsingle?Canshebeanyman'sbut



mine?WillIbeanywoman'sbuther's?

Ineverwill!Inevercan!--andItellthee,thatIameveryday,everyhour,moreandmoreinlovewithher:and,atthisinstant,haveamorevehementpassionforherthaneverIhadinmylife!--andthatwithviewsabsolutelyhonourable,inherownsenseoftheword:norhaveIvaried,somuchasinwish,forthisweekpast;firmlyfixed,andwroughtintomyverynature,asthelifeofhonour,orofgenerousconfidenceinme,was,inpreferencetothelifeofdoubtanddistrust.Thatmustbealifeofdoubtanddistrust,surely,wherethewomanconfidesnothing,andtiesupamanforhisgoodbehaviourforlife,takingchurch-and-statesanctionsinaidoftheobligationsheimposesuponhim.

IshallgoonMondaytoakindofball,towhichColonelAmbrosehasinvitedme.Itisgivenonafamilyaccount.Icarenotonwhat:forallthatdelightsmeinthethingis,thatMrs.andMissHowearetobethere;--Hickman,ofcourse;fortheoldladywillnotstirabroadwithouthim.TheColonelisinhopesthatMissArabellaHarlowewillbetherelikewise;forallthemenandwomenoffashionroundhimareinvited.

IfellinbyaccidentwiththeColonel,whoIbelieve,hardlythoughtIwouldacceptoftheinvitation.Butheknowsmenot,ifhethinksIamashamedtoappearatanyplace,wherewomendareshowtheirfaces.Yethehintedtomethatmynamewasup,onMissHarlowe'saccount.But,to

alludetooneofLordM.'sphrases,ifitbe,Iwillnotlieabedwhenanythingjoyousisgoingforward.

AsIshallgoinmyLord'schariot,IwouldhavehadoneofmycousinsMontaguetogowithme:buttheybothrefused:andIshallnotchoosetotakeeitherofthybrethren.ItwouldlookasifIthoughtIwantedabodyguard:besides,oneofthemistoorough,theothertoosmooth,andtoogreatafopforsomeofthestaidcompanythatwillbethere;andformeinparticular.Menareknownbytheircompanions;andafop[asTourville,forexample]takesgreatpainstohangoutasignbyhisdressofwhathehasinhisshop.Thou,indeed,artanexception;dressinglikeacoxcomb,yetaverycleverfellow.Neverthelesssoclumsyabeau,thatthouseemesttometoowethyselfadoublespite,makingthy

ungracefulnessappearthemoreungraceful,bythyremarkabletawdriness,whenthouartoutofmourning.

Iremember,whenIfirstsawthee,mymindlabouredwithastrongpuzzle,whetherIshouldputtheedownforagreatfool,orasmattererinwit.SomethingIsawwaswronginthee,bythydress.Ifthisfellow,thoughtI,delightsnotsomuchinridicule,thathewillnotsparehimself,hemustbeplaguysillytotakesomuchpainstomakehisuglinessmoreconspicuousthanitwouldotherwisebe.

Plaindress,foranordinarymanorwoman,impliesatleastmodesty,andalwaysprocuresakindquarterfromthecensorious.Whowillridiculeapersonalimperfectioninonethatseemsconscious,thatitisan

imperfection?Whoeversaidananchoretwaspoor?Butwhowouldsparesoveryabsurdawrong-head,asshouldbestowtinseltomakehisdeformitythemoreconspicuous?

But,althoughIputontheselivelyairs,Iamsickatmysoul!--Mywholeheartiswithmycharmer!withwhatindifferenceshallIlookuponalltheassemblyattheColonel's,mybelovedinmyidealeye,andengrossingmywholeheart?



LETTERXXXIII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSARABELLAHARLOWETHURSDAY,JULY20.

MISSHARLOWE,

Icannothelpacquaintingyou(howeveritmaybereceived,comingfromme)thatyourpoorsisterisdangerouslyill,atthehouseofoneSmith,whokeepsaglover'sandperfumeshop,inKing-street,Covent-garden.SheknowsnotthatIwrite.Someviolentwords,inthenatureofanimprecation,fromherfather,afflicthergreatlyinherweakstate.Ipresumenottodirectyouwhattodointhiscase.Youarehersister.Ithereforecouldnothelpwritingtoyou,notonlyforhersake,butforyourown.Iam,Madam,

Yourhumbleservant,ANNAHOWE.

LETTERXXXIV

MISSARABELLAHARLOWE[INANSWER.]THURSDAY,JULY20.

MISSHOWE,

Ihaveyour'softhismorning.Allthathashappenedtotheunhappybodyyoumentioned,iswhatweforetoldandexpected.Lethim,forwhosesakesheabandonedus,behercomfort.Wearetoldhehasremorse,andwouldmarryher.Wedon'tbelieveit,indeed.Shemaybeveryill.Herdisappointmentmaymakeherso,orought.YetisshetheonlyoneIknow

whoisdisappointed.

Icannotsay,Miss,thatthenotificationfromyouisthemorewelcome,forthelibertiesyouhavebeenpleasedtotakewithourwholefamilyforresentingaconduct,thatitisashameanyyoungladyshouldjustify.Excusethisfreedom,occasionedbygreater.Iam,Miss,

Yourhumbleservant,ARABELLAHARLOWE.

LETTERXXXV

MISSHOWE[INREPLY.]FRIDAY,JULY21.

MISSARABELLAHARLOWE,

Ifyouhadhalfasmuchsenseasyouhaveill-nature,youwould(notwithstandingtheexuberanceofthelatter)havebeenableto



distinguishbetweenakindintentiontoyouall(thatyoumighthavethelesstoreproachyourselveswith,ifadeplorablecaseshouldhappen)andanofficiousnessIowedyounot,byreasonoffreedomsatleastreciprocal.Iwillnot,fortheunhappybody'ssake,asyoucallasisteryouhavehelpedtomakeso,sayallthatIcouldsay.IfwhatIfearhappen,youshallhear(whetherdesiredornot)allthemindof

ANNAHOWE.

LETTERXXXVI

MISSARABELLAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWEFRIDAY,JULY21.

MISSANNAHOWE,

YourpertletterIhavereceived.You,thatsparenobody,Icannotexpectshouldspareme.Youareveryhappyinaprudentandwatchfulmother.--Butelseminecannotbeexceededinprudence;butwehadalltoogoodanopinionofsomebody,tothinkwatchfulnessneedful.Theremaypossiblybesomereasonwhyyouaresomuchattachedtoherinanerror

ofthisflagrantnature.Ihelptomakeasisterunhappy!--Itisfalse,Miss!--Itisallherowndoings!--except,indeed,whatshemayowetosomebody'sadvice--youknowwhocanbestanswerforthat.

Letusknowyourmindassoonasyouplease:asweshallknowittobeyourmind,weshalljudgewhatattentiontogiveit.That'sall,from,&c.

AR.H.

LETTERXXXVII

MISSHOWE,TOMISSARABELLAHARLOWESAT.JULY22.

Itmaybethemisfortuneofsomepeopletoengageeverybody'snotice:othersmaybethehappier,thoughtheymaybethemoreenvious,fornobody'sthinkingthemworthyofany.Butonewouldbegladpeoplehadthesensetobethankfulforthatwantofconsequence,whichsubjectthemnottohazardstheywouldheartilyhavebeenabletomanageunder.

Iowntoyou,thathaditnotbeenfortheprudentadviceofthat

admirablesomebody(whoseprincipalfaultisthesuperiorityofhertalents,andwhosemisfortunetobebrother'dandsister'dbyacoupleofcreatures,whoarenotabletocomprehendherexcellencies)Imightatonetimehavebeenplungedintodifficulties.Butpertasthesuperlativelypertmaythinkme,Ithoughtnotmyselfwiser,becauseIwasolder;norforthatpoorreasonqualifiedtoprescribeto,muchlesstomaltreat,ageniussosuperior.

Irepeatitwithgratitude,thatthedearcreature'sadvicewasofverygreatservicetome--andthisbeforemymother'swatchfulnessbecame



necessary.Buthowitwouldhavefaredwithme,Icannotsay,hadIhadabrotherorsister,whohaddeemedittheirinterest,aswellasagratificationoftheirsordidenvy,tomisrepresentme.

Youradmirablesister,ineffect,savedyou,Miss,aswellasme--withthisdifference--you,againstyourwill--mewithmine:andbutforyourownbrother,andhisownsister,wouldnothavebeenlostherself.

WouldtoHeavenbothsistershadbeenobligedwiththeirownwills!--themostadmirableofhersexwouldneverthenhavebeenoutofherfather'shouse!--you,Miss--Idon'tknowwhathadbecomeofyou.--But,letwhatwouldhavehappened,youwouldhavemetwiththehumanityyouhavenotshown,whetheryouhaddeserveditornot:--nor,attheworst,losteitherakindsister,orapityingfriend,inthemostexcellentofsisters.

ButwhyrunIintolengthtosuchapoorthing?whypushIsoweakanadversary?whosefirstletterisalllowmalice,andwhosenextismadeupoffalsehoodandinconsistence,aswellasspiteandill-manners!yetIwaswillingtogiveyouapartofmymind.Callformoreofit;itshallbeatyourservice:fromone,who,thoughshethanksGodsheisnotyoursister,isnotyourenemy:butthatsheisnotthelatter,iswithheldbutbytwoconsiderations;onethatyoubear,thoughunworthily,arelationtoasistersoexcellent;theother,thatyouarenotof

consequenceenoughtoengageanythingbutthepityandcontemptofA.H.

LETTERXXXVIII

MRS.HARLOWE,TOMRS.HOWESAT.JULY22.

DEARMADAM,

Isendyou,enclosed,copiesoffivelettersthathavepassedbetweenMissHoweandmyArabella.Youareapersonofsomuchprudenceandgoodsense,and(beingamotheryourself)cansowellenterintothedistressesofallourfamily,upontherashnessandingratitudeofachildweoncedoatedupon,that,Idaresay,youwillnotcountenancethestrangefreedomsyourdaughterhastakenwithusall.Thesearenottheonlyoneswehavetocomplainof;butweweresilentontheothers,astheydidnot,asthesehavedone,spreadthemselvesoutuponpaper.Weonlybeg,thatwemaynotbereflecteduponbyayoungladywhoknowsnotwhatwehavesuffered,anddosufferbytherashnessofanaughtycreaturewhohasbroughtruinuponherself,anddisgraceuponafamilywhichshehadrobbedofallcomfort.Ioffernottoprescribetoyour

knownwisdominthiscase;butleaveittoyoutodoasyouthinkmostproper.Iam,Madam,

Yourmosthumbleservant,CHARL.HARLOWE.

LETTERXXXIX



MRS.HOWE[INANSWER.]SAT.JULY22.

DEARMADAM,

Iamhighlyoffendedwithmydaughter'sletterstoMissHarlowe.Iknewnothingatallofherhavingtakensuchaliberty.Theseyoungcreatureshavesuchromanticnotions,someoflive,someoffriendship,thatthereisnogoverningthemineither.Nothingbuttime,anddearexperience,willconvincethemoftheirabsurditiesinboth.IhavechiddenMissHoweveryseverely.Ihadbeforesojustanotionofwhatyourwholefamily'sdistressmustbe,that,asItoldyourbrother,Mr.AntonyHarlowe,Ihadoftenforbidhercorrespondingwiththepoorfallenangel--forsurelyneverdidyoungladymoreresemblewhatweimagineofangels,bothinpersonandmind.But,tiredoutwithherheadstrongways,[Iamsorrytosaythisofmyownchild,]Iwasforcedtogivewaytoitagain.And,indeed,sosturdywassheinherwill,thatIwasafraiditwouldendinafitofsickness,astoooftenitdidinfitsofsullens.

Nonebutparentsknowthetroublethatchildrengive.Theyarehappiest,Ihaveoftenthought,whohavenone.Andthesewomen-growngirls,bless

myheart!howungovernable!Ibelieve,however,youwillhavenomoresuchlettersfrommyNancy.IhavebeenforcedtousecompulsionwithheruponMissClary'sillness,[anditseemssheisverybad,]orshewouldhaverunawaytoLondon,toattenduponher:andthisshecallsdoingthedutyofafriend;forgettingthatshesacrificestoherromanticfriendshipherdutytoherfondindulgentmother.

Thereareathousandexcellenciesinthepoorsufferer,notwithstandingherfault:and,ifthehintsshehasgiventomydaughterbetrue,shehasbeenmostgrievouslyabused.ButIthinkyourforgivenessandherfather'sforgivenessofheroughttobeallatyourownchoice;and

nobodyshouldintermeddleinthat,forthesakeofdueauthorityinparents:andbesides,asMissHarlowewrites,itwaswhateverybodyexpected,thoughMissClarywouldnotbelieveittillshesmartedforhercredulity.And,firthesereasons,Ioffernottopleadanythinginalleviationofherfault,whichisaggravatedbyheradmirablesense,andajudgmentaboveheryears.

Iam,Madam,withcomplimentstogoodMr.Harlowe,andallyourafflictedfamily,

Yourmosthumbleservant,ANNABELLAHOWE.

IshallsetoutfortheIsleofWightinafewdays,withmydaughter.Iwillhastenoursettingout,onpurposetobreakhermindfromherfriend'sdistresses;whichafflictusasmuch,nearly,asMissClary'srashnesshasdoneyou.

LETTERXL



MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWESAT.JULY22.

MYDEARESTFRIEND,

Wearebusyinpreparingforourlittlejourneyandvoyage:butIwillbeill,Iwillbeveryill,ifIcannothearyouarebetterbeforeIgo.

Rogersgreatlyafflictedme,bytellingmethebadwayyouarein.Butnowyouhavebeenabletoholdapen,andasyoursenseisstrongandclear,Ihopethattheamusementyouwillreceivefromwritingwillmakeyoubetter.

Idispatchthisbyanextraordinaryway,thatitmayreachyoutimeenoughtomoveyoutoconsiderwellbeforeyouabsolutelydecideuponthecontentsofmineofthe13th,onthesubjectofthetwoMissesMontague'svisittome;since,accordingtowhatyouwrite,mustIanswerthem.

Inyourlast,concludeverypositivelythatyouwillnotbehis.Tobesure,heratherdeservesaninfamousdeaththansuchawife.ButasIreallybelievehiminnocentofthearrest,andasallhisfamilyaresuchearnestpleaders,andwillbeguarantees,forhim,Ithinkthecompliancewiththeirentreaties,andhisown,willbenowthebeststepyoucan

take;yourownfamilyremainingimplacable,asIcanassureyoutheydo.Heisamanofsense;anditisnotimpossiblebuthemaymakeyouagoodhusband,andintimemaybecomenobadman.

Mymotherisentirelyofmyopinion:andonFriday,pursuanttoahintIgaveyouinmylast,Mr.Hickmanhadaconferencewiththestrangewretch:andthoughhelikednot,byanymeans,hisbehaviourtohimself;norindeed,hadreasontodoso;yetheisofopinionthatheissincerelydeterminedtomarryyou,ifyouwillcondescendtohavehim.

PerhapsMr.Hickmanmaymakeyouaprivatevisitbeforewesetout.IfImaynotattendyoumyself,Ishallnotbeeasyexcepthedoes.Andhewillthengiveyouanaccountoftheadmirablecharacterthesurprising

wretchgaveofyou,andofthejusticehedoestoyourvirtue.

Hewasasacknowledgingtohisrelations,thoughtohisowncondemnation,ashistwocousinstoldme.Allheapprehends,ashesaidtoMr.Hickman,isthatifyougoonexposinghim,wedlockitselfwillnotwipeoffthedishonourtoboth:andmoreover,'thatyouwouldruinyourconstitutionbyyourimmoderatesorrow;and,byseekingdeathwhenyoumightavoidit,wouldnotbeabletoescapeitwhenyouwouldwishtodoso.'

So,mydearestfriend,Ichargeyou,ifyoucan,togetoveryouraversiontothisvileman.Youmayyetlivetoseemanyhappydays,andbeoncemorethedelightofallyourfriends,neighbours,and

acquaintance,aswellasastay,acomfort,andablessingtoyourAnnaHowe.

Ilongtohaveyouranswertomineofthe13th.Praykeepthemessengertillitbeready.IfhereturnonMondaynight,itwillbetimeenoughforhisaffairs,andtofindmecomebackfromColonelAmbrose's;whogivesaballontheanniversaryofMrs.Ambrose'sbirthandmarriagebothinone.Thegentryallroundtheneighbourhoodareinvitedthistime,onsomegoodnewstheyhavereceivedfromMrs.Ambrose'sbrother,thegovernor.



MymotherpromisedtheColonelformeandherself,inmyabsence.Iwouldfainhaveexcusedmyselftoher;andtherather,asIhadexceptionsonaccountoftheday:*butsheisalmostasyoungasherdaughter;andthinkingitnotsowelltogowithoutme,shetoldme.Andhavinghadafewsparringblowswitheachotherverylately,IthinkImustcomply.ForIdon'tlovejinglingwhenIcanhelpit;thoughIseldommakeitmystudytoavoidtheoccasion,whenitoffersofitself.Idon'tknow,ifeitherwerenotalittleafraidoftheother,whetheritwouldbepossiblethatwecouldlivetogether:--I,allmyfather!--Mymamma--What?--Allmymother--WhatelseshouldIsay?

*The24thofJuly,MissClarissaHarlowe'sbirth-day.

Omydear,howmanythingshappeninthislifetogiveusdispleasure!Howfewtogiveusjoy!--IamsureIshallhavenoneonthisoccasion;sincethetruepartnerofmyheart,theprincipaloftheonesoul,thatitusedtobesaid,animatedthepairoffriends,aswewerecalled;you,mydear,[whousedtoirradiateeverycircleyousetyourfootinto,andtogivemerealsignificanceinasecondplacetoyourself,]cannotbethere!--Onehourofyourcompany,myeverinstructivefriend,[Ithirstforit!]howinfinitelypreferablewoulditbetometoallthe

diversionsandamusementswithwhichoursexaregenerallymostdelighted--Adieu,mydear!

A.HOWE.

LETTERXLI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESUNDAY,JULY23.

Whatpain,mydearestfriend,doesyourkindsolicitudeformywelfaregiveme!Howmuchmorebindingandtenderarethetiesofpurefriendship,andtheunionoflikeminds,thanthetiesofnature!Wellmightthesweet-singerofIsrael,whenhewascarryingtotheutmostextentthepraisesofthefriendshipbetweenhimandhisbelovedfriend,say,thattheloveofJonathantohimwaswonderful;thatitsurpassedtheloveofwomen!WhatanexaltedideadoesitgiveofthesoulofJonathan,sweetlyattemperedforthesacredband,ifwemaysupposeitbutequaltothatofmyAnnaHoweforherfallenClarissa?--But,althoughIcangloryinyourkindloveforme,think,mydear,whatconcernmustfillamind,notungenerous,whentheobligationliesallononeside.Andwhen,atthesametimethatyourlightisthebrighterformydarkness,Imustgivepaintoadearfriend,towhomIdelightedtogive

pleasure;andnotpainonly,butdiscredit,forsupportingmyblightedfameagainstthebusytonguesofuncharitablecensures!

Thisisthatmakesme,inthewordsofmyadmiredexclaimer,verylittlealtered,oftenrepeat:'Oh!thatIwereasinmonthspast!asinthedayswhenGodpreservedme!whenhiscandleshineduponmyhead,andwhenbyhislightIwalkedthroughdarkness!AsIwasinthedaysofmychildhood--whentheAlmightywasyetwithme:whenIwasinmyfather'shouse:whenIwashedmystepswithbutter,andtherockpouredmeoutriversofoil.'



Yousetbeforemeyourreasons,enforcedbytheopinionofyourhonouredmother,whyIshouldthinkofMr.Lovelaceforahusband.*

*SeetheprecedingLetter.

AndIhavebeforemeyourletterofthe13th,*containingtheaccountofthevisitandproposals,andkindinterpositionofthetwoMissesMontague,inthenamesofthegoodLadiesSadleirandBettyLawrance,andinthatofmyLordM.

*SeeLetterIX.ofthisvol.

Alsoyour'softhe18th,*demandingme,asImaysay,ofthoseladies,andofthatfamily,whenIwassoinfamouslyandcruellyarrested,andyouknewnotwhatwasbecomeofme.

*SeeLetterXI.ibid.

Theanswerlikewiseofthoseladies,signedinsofullandgenerousamannerbythemselves,*andbythatnobleman,andthosetwovenerableladies;and,inhislightway,bythewretchhimself.

*SeeLetterXIV.ibid.

Thse,mydearestMissHowe;andyourletterofthe16th,*whichcamewhenIwasunderarrest,andwhichIreceivednottillsomedaysafter;areallbeforeme.

*SeeLetterX.ofthisvolume.

AndIhaveaswellweighedthewholematter,andyourargumentsinsupportofyouradvice,asatpresentmyheadandmyheartwillletmeweighthem.

Iam,moreover,willingtobelieve,notonlyfromyourownopinion,butfromtheassurancesofoneofMr.Lovelace'sfriends,Mr.Belford,agood-naturedandhumaneman,whosparesnottocensuretheauthorofmycalamities(Ithink,withundissembledandundesigningsincerity)thatthatmanisinnocentofthedisgracefularrest.

Andeven,ifyouplease,insincerecomplimenttoyouropinion,andtothatofMr.Hickman,that(over-persuadedbyhisfriends,andashamedofhisunmeritedbasenesstome)hewouldinearnestmarryme,ifIwouldhavehim.

'*Well,andnow,whatistheresultofall?--Itisthis--thatImustabidebywhatIhavealreadydeclared--andthatis,[don'tbeangryatme,mybestfriend,]thatIhavemuchmorepleasureinthinkingofdeath,thanofsuchahusband.Inshort,asIdeclaredinmylast,thatI



cannot[forgiveme,ifIsay,Iwillnot]everbehis.

*Thosepartsofthisletterwhicharemarkedwithaninvertedcomma[thus']wereafterwardstranscribedbyMissHoweinLetterLV.writtentotheLadiesofMr.Lovelace'sfamily;andarethusdistinguishedtoavoidthenecessityofrepeatingtheminthatletter.

'Butyouwillexpectmyreasons;Iknowyouwill:andifIgivethemnot,willconcludemeeitherobstinate,orimplacable,orboth:andthosewouldbesadimputations,ifjust,tobelaidtothechargeofapersonwhothinksandtalksofdying.Andyet,tosaythatresentmentanddisappointmenthavenopartinmydetermination,wouldbesayingathinghardlytobecredited.ForIownIhaveresentment,strongresentment,butnotunreasonableones,asyouwillbeconvinced,ifalreadyyouarenotso,whenyouknowallmystory--ifeveryoudoknowit--forIbegintofear(somanythingsmorenecessarytobethoughtofthaneitherthisman,ormyownvindication,haveItodo)thatIshallnothavetimetocompasswhatIhaveintended,and,inamanner,promisedyou.*

*SeeVol.VI.LetterLXXIII.

'Ihaveonereasontogiveinsupportofmyresolution,that,Ibelieve,yourselfwillallowof:buthavingownedthatIhaveresentments,Iwillbeginwiththoseconsiderationsinwhichangeranddisappointmenthavetoogreatashare;inhopesthat,havingoncedisburdenedmyminduponpaper,andtomyAnnaHowe,ofthosecorrodinguneasypassions,Ishallpreventthemforeverfromreturningtomyheart,andtohavetheirplacesuppliedbybetter,milder,andmoreagreeableones.

'Mypride,then,mydearestfriend,althoughagreatdealmortified,isnotsufficientlymortified,ifitbenecessaryformetosubmittomakethatmanmychoice,whoseactionsare,andoughttobe,myabhorrence!--What!--ShallI,whohavebeentreatedwithsuchpremeditatedand

perfidiousbarbarity,asispainfultobethoughtof,andcannot,withmodestybedescribed,thinkoftakingtheviolatortomyheart?CanIvowdutytoonesowicked,andhazardmysalvationbyjoiningmyselftosogreataprofligate,nowIknowhimtobeso?DoyouthinkyourClarissaHarlowesolost,sosunk,atleast,asthatshecould,forthesakeofpatchingup,intheworld'seye,abrokenreputation,meanlyappearindebtedtothegenerosity,orperhapscompassion,ofaman,whohas,bymeanssoinhuman,robbedherofit?Indeed,mydear,IshouldnotthinkmypenitencefortherashstepItook,anythingbetterthanaspeciousdelusion,ifIhadnotgotabovetheleastwishtohaveMr.Lovelaceformyhusband.

'Yes,Iwarrant,Imustcreeptotheviolator,andbethankfultohimfor

doingmepoorjustice!

'Doyounotalreadyseeme(pursuingtheadviceyougive)withadowncasteye,appearbeforehisfriends,andbeforemyown,(supposingthelatterwouldatlastcondescendtoownme,)divestedofthatnobleconfidencewhicharisesfromamindunconsciousofhavingdeservedreproach?

'Doyounotseemecreepaboutmineownhouse,preferringallmyhonestmaidenstomyself--asifafraid,too,toopenmylips,eitherbywayofreprooforadmonition,lesttheirboldereyesshouldbidmelookinward,



andnotexpectperfectionfromthem?

'AndshallIentitlethewretchtoupbraidmewithhisgenerosity,andhispity;andperhapstoreproachmeforhavingbeencapableofforgivingcrimesofsuchanature?

'Ionceindeedhoped,littlethinkinghimsopremeditatedlyvileaman,thatImighthavethehappinesstoreclaimhim:Ivainlybelievedthathelovedmewellenoughtosuffermyadviceforhisgood,andtheexampleIhumblypresumedIshouldbeenabledtosethim,tohaveweightwithhim;andtherather,ashehadnomeanopinionofmymoralsandunderstanding:Butnowwhathopeisthereleftforthismyprimehope?--WereItomarryhim,whatafigureshouldImake,preachingvirtueandmoralitytoamanwhomIhadtrustedwithopportunitiestoseducemefromallmyownduties!--Andthen,supposingIweretohavechildrenbysuchahusband,mustitnot,thinkyou,cutathoughtfulpersontotheheart;tolookrounduponherlittlefamily,andthinkshehadgiventhemafatherdestined,withoutamiracle,toperdition;andwhoseimmoralities,propagatedamongthembyhisvileexample,might,tooprobably,bringdownacurseuponthem?And,afterall,whoknowsbutthatmyownsinfulcomplianceswithaman,whomightthinkhimselfentitledtomyobedience,mighttaintmyownmorals,andmakeme,insteadofareformer,animitatorofhim?--Forwhocantouchpitch,andnotbedefiled?

'Letmethenrepeat,thatItrulydespisethisman!IfIknowmyownheart,indeedIdo!--Ipityhim!beneathmyverypityasheis,Ineverthelesspityhim!--ButthisIcouldnotdo,ifIstilllovedhim:for,mydear,onemustbegreatlysensibleofthebasenessandingratitudeofthosewelove.Ilovehimnot,therefore!mysouldisdainscommunionwithhim.

'But,althoughthusmuchisduetoresentment,yethaveInotbeensofarcarriedawaybyitsangryeffectsastoberenderedincapableofcastingaboutwhatIoughttodo,andwhatcouldbedone,iftheAlmighty,inordertolengthenthetimeofmypenitence,weretobidmetolive.

'Thesinglelife,atsuchtimes,hasofferedtome,asthelife,theonlylife,tobechosen.Butinthat,mustInotnowsitbroodingovermypastafflictions,andmourningmyfaultstillthehourofmyrelease?AndwouldnoteveryonebeabletoassignthereasonwhyClarissaHarlowechosesolitude,andtosequesterherselffromtheworld?Wouldnotthelookofeverycreature,whobeheldme,appearasareproachtome?Andwouldnotmyconsciouseyeconfessmyfault,whethertheeyesofothersaccusedmeornot?Oneofmydelightswas,toenterthecotsofmypoorneighbours,toleavelessonstotheboys,andcautionstotheeldergirls:andhowshouldIbeable,unconscious,andwithoutpain,tosaytothelatter,flythedelusionsofmen,whohadbeensupposedtohaverunawaywithone?

'Whatthen,mydearandonlyfriend,canIwishforbutdeath?--Andwhat,afterall,isdeath?'Tisbutacessationfrommortallife:'tisbutthefinishingofanappointedcourse:therefreshinginnafterafatiguingjourney;theendofalifeofcaresandtroubles;and,ifhappy,thebeginningofalifeofimmortalhappiness.

'IfIdienotnow,itmaypossiblyhappenthatImaybetakenwhenIamlessprepared.HadIescapedtheevilsIlabourunder,itmighthavebeeninthemidstofsomegaypromisinghope;whenmyhearthadbeathighwiththedesireoflife;andwhenthevanityofthisearthhadtakenhold



ofme.

'Butnow,mydear,foryoursatisfactionletmesaythat,althoughIwishnotforlife,yetwouldInot,likeapoorcoward,desertmypostwhenIcanmaintainit,andwhenitismydutytomaintainit.

'Morethanonce,indeed,wasIurgedbythoughtssosinful:butthenitwasintheheightofmydistress:andonce,particularly,Ihavereasontobelieve,Isavedmyselfbymydesperationfromthemostshockingpersonalinsults;fromarepetition,asfarasIknow,ofhisvileness;thebasewomen(withsomuchreasondreadedbyme)present,tointimidateme,ifnottoassisthim!--Omydear,youknownotwhatIsufferedonthatoccasion!--NordoIwhatIescapedatthetime,ifthewickedmanhadapproachedmetoexecutethehorridpurposesofhisvileheart.'

AsIamofopinion,thatitwouldhavemanifestedmoreofrevengeanddespairthanofprinciple,hadIcommittedaviolenceuponmyself,whenthevillanywasperpetrated;soIshouldthinkitequallycriminal,wereInowwilfullytoneglectmyself;wereIpurposelytorunintothearmsofdeath,(asthatmansupposesIshalldo,)whenImightavoidit.

Nor,mydear,whateverarethesuppositionsofsuchashort-sighted,suchalow-souledman,mustyouimputetogloom,tomelancholy,todespondency,noryettoaspiritoffaultypride,orstillmorefaulty

revenge,theresolutionIhavetakennevertomarrythis:andifnotthis,anyman.Sofarfromdeservingthisimputation,Idoassureyou,(mydearandonlylove,)thatIwilldoeverythingIcantoprolongmylife,tillGod,inmercytome,shallbepleasedtocallforit.Ihavereasontothinkmypunishmentisbutthedueconsequenceofmyfault,andIwillnotrunawayfromit;butbegofHeaventosanctifyittome.Whenappetiteserves,Iwilleatanddrinkwhatissufficienttosupportnature.Averylittle,youknow,willdoforthat.Andwhatevermyphysiciansshallthinkfittoprescribe,Iwilltake,thougheversodisagreeable.Inshort,IwilldoeverythingIcandotoconvinceallmyfriends,whohereaftermaythinkitworththeirwhiletoinquireaftermylastbehaviour,thatIpossessedmysoulwithtolerablepatience;andendeavouredtobearwithalotofmyowndrawing;forthus,inhumble

imitationofthesublimestexemplar,Ioftensay:--Lord,itisthywill;anditshallbemine.Thouartjustinallthydealingswiththechildrenofmen;andIknowthouwiltnotafflictmebeyondwhatIcanbear:and,ifIcanbearit,Ioughttobearit;and(thygraceassistingme)Iwillbearit.

'Buthere,mydear,isanotherreason;areasonthatwillconvinceyouyourselfthatIoughtnottothinkofwedlock;butofapreparationforaquitedifferentevent.Iampersuaded,asmuchasthatIamnowalive,thatIshallnotlonglive.ThestrongsenseIhaveeverhadofmyfault,thelossofmyreputation,mydisappointments,thedeterminedresentmentofmyfriends,aidingthebarbaroususageIhavemetwithwhereIleastdeservedit,haveseizeduponmyheart:seizeduponit,

beforeitwassowellfortifiedbyreligiousconsiderationsasIhopeitnowis.Don'tbeconcerned,mydear--ButIamsure,ifImaysayitwithaslittlepresumptionasgrief,ThatGodwillsoondissolvemysubstance;andbringmetodeath,andtothehouseappointedforallliving.'

Andnow,mydearestfriend,youknowallmymind.AndyouwillbepleasedtowritetotheladiesofMr.Lovelace'sfamily,thatIthinkmyselfinfinitelyobligedtothemfortheirgoodopinionofme;andthatithasgivenmegreaterpleasurethanIthoughtIhadtocomeinthislife,that,uponthelittleknowledgetheyhaveofme,andthatnot



personal,Iwasthoughtworthy(aftertheillusageIhavereceived)ofanalliancewiththeirhonourablefamily:butthatIcanbynomeansthinkoftheirkinsmanforahusband:anddoyou,mydear,extractfromtheabovesuchreasonsasyouthinkhaveanyweightwiththem.

Iwouldwritemyselftoacknowledgetheirfavour,hadInotmoreemploymentformyhead,myheart,andmyfingers,thanIdoubttheywillbeabletogothrough.

Ishouldbegladtoknowwhenyousetoutonyourjourney;asalsoyourlittlestages;andyourtimeofstayatyourauntHarman's;thatmyprayersmaylocallyattendyouwhithersoeveryougo,andwhereveryouare.

CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERXLII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWESUNDAY,JULY23.

Theletteraccompanyingthisbeinguponaveryparticularsubject,Iwouldnotembarrassit,asImaysay,withanyother.Andyethavingsomefarthermattersuponmymind,whichwillwantyourexcusefordirectingthemtoyou,Ihopethefollowinglineswillhavethatexcuse.

MygoodMrs.Norton,solongagoasinaletterdatedthe3dofthismonth,*hintedtomethatmyrelationstookamisssomeseverethingsyouwerepleased,inlovetome,tosaytothem.Mrs.Nortonmentioneditwiththatrespectfullovewhichshebearstomydearestfriend:butwished,formysake,thatyouwouldreininavivacity,which,onmostotheroccasions,socharminglybecomesyou.Thiswashersense.YouknowthatIamwarrantedtospeakandwritefreertomyAnnaHowethanMrs.Nortonwoulddo.

*SeeVol.VI.LetterLXIII.

Idurstnotmentionittoyouatthattime,becauseappearancesweresostrongagainstme,onMr.Lovelace'sgettingmeagainintohispower,(aftermyescapetoHampstead,)asmadeyouveryangrywithmewhenyouansweredmineonmysecondescape.And,soonafterwards,Iwasputunderthatbarbarousarrest;sothatIcouldnotwelltouchuponthesubjecttillnow.

Now,therefore,mydearestMissHowe,letmerepeatmyearnestrequest

(forthisisnotthefirsttimebyseveralthatIhavebeenobligedtochideyouonthisoccasion,)thatyouwillsparemyparents,andotherrelations,inallyourconversationsaboutme.Indeed,Iwishtheyhadthoughtfittotakeothermeasureswithme:Butwhoshalljudgeforthem?--Theeventhasjustifiedthem,andcondemnedme.--Theyexpectednothinggoodofthisvileman;hehadnot,therefore,deceivedthem:buttheyexpectedotherthingsfromme;andIhave.Andtheyhavethemorereasontobesetagainstme,if(asmyauntHerveywrote*formerly,)theyintendednottoforcemyinclinationsinfavourofMr.Solmes;andiftheybelievethatmygoingoffwastheeffectofchoiceand



premeditation.

*SeeVol.III.LetterLII.

Ihavenodesiretobereceivedtofavourbythem:ForwhyshouldIsitdowntowishforwhatIhavenoreasontoexpect?--Besides,Icouldnotlookthemintheface,iftheywouldreceiveme.IndeedIcouldnot.AllIhavetohopeforis,first,thatmyfatherwillabsolvemefromhisheavymalediction:andnext,foralastblessing.Theobtainingofthesefavoursareneedfultomypeaceofmind.

Ihavewrittentomysister;buthaveonlymentionedtheabsolution.

IamafraidIshallreceiveaveryharshanswerfromher:myfault,intheeyesofmyfamily,isofsoenormousanature,thatmyfirstapplicationwillhardlybeencouraged.Thentheyknownot(norperhapswillbelieve)thatIamsoveryillasIam.Sothat,wereIactuallytodiebeforetheycouldhavetimetotakethenecessaryinformations,youmustnotblamethemtooseverely.Youmustcallitafatality.Iknownotwhatyoumustcallit:for,alas!IhavemadethemasmiserableasIammyself.AndyetsometimesIthinkthat,weretheycheerfullytopronouncemeforgiven,Iknownotwhethermyconcernforhavingoffended

themwouldnotbeaugmented:sinceIimaginethatnothingcanbemorewoundingtoaspiritnotungenerousthanagenerousforgiveness.

Ihopeyourmotherwillpermitourcorrespondenceforonemonthmore,althoughIdonottakeheradviceastohavingthisman.Whencatastrophesarewindingup,whatchanges(changesthatmakeone'sheartshuddertothinkof,)mayoneshortmonthproduce?--Butifshewillnot--whythen,mydear,itbecomesusbothtoacquiesce.

Youcan'tthinkwhatmyapprehensionswouldhavebeen,hadIknownMr.Hickmanwastohavehadameeting(onsuchaquestioningoccasionasmusthavebeenhiserrandfromyou)withthathaughtyanduncontroulableman.

YougivemehopeofavisitfromMr.Hickman:lethimexpecttoseemegreatlyaltered.Iknowhelovesme:forheloveseveryonewhomyoulove.Apainfulinterview,Idoubt!ButIshallbegladtoseeamanwhomyouwilloneday,andthatonanearlyday,Ihope,makehappy;whosegentlemanners,andunboundedloveforyou,willmakeyouso,ifitbenotyourownfault.

Iam,mydearest,kindestfriend,thesweetcompanionofmyhappyhours,thefriendeverdearestandnearesttomyfondheart,

Yourequallyobligedandfaithful,CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERXLIII

MRS.NORTON,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEMONDAY,JULY24.

Excuse,mydearestyounglady,mylongsilence.Ihavebeenextremelyill.Mypoorboyhasalsobeenatdeath'sdoor;and,whenIhopedthat



hewasbetter,hehasrelapsed.Alas!mydear,heisverydangerouslyill.Letusbothhaveyourprayers!

VeryangrylettershavepassedbetweenyoursisterandMissHowe.Everyoneofyourfamilyisincensedagainstthatyounglady.Iwishyouwouldremonstrateagainstherwarmth;sinceitcandonogood;fortheywillnotbelievebutthatherinterpositionhadyourconnivance;northatyouaresoillasMissHoweassuresthemyouare.

Beforeshewrote,theyweregoingtosendupyoungMr.Brand,theclergyman,tomakeprivateinquiriesofyourhealth,andwayoflife.--Butnowtheyaresoexasperatedthattheyhavelaidasidetheirintention.

Wehaveflyingreportshere,andatHarlowe-place,ofsomefreshinsultswhichyouhaveundergone:andthatyouareabouttoputyourselfintoLadyBettyLawrance'sprotection.Ibelievetheywouldnotbeglad(asIshouldbe)thatyouwoulddoso;andthis,perhaps,willmakethemsuspend,forthepresent,anydeterminationinyourfavour.

HowunhappyamI,thatthedangerouswaymysonisinpreventsmyattendanceonyou!Letmebegofyoutowritetomewordhowyouare,bothastopersonandmind.AservantofSirRobertBeachcroft,whoridespostonhismaster'sbusinesstotown,willpresentyouwiththis;

and,perhaps,willbringmethefavourofafewlinesinreturn.Hewillbeobligedtostayintownseveralhoursforananswertohisdispatches.

Thisistheanniversarythatusedtogivejoytoasmanyashadthepleasureandhonourofknowingyou.MaytheAlmightyblessyou,andgrantthatitmaybetheonlyunhappyonethatmayeverbeknownbyyou,mydearestyounglady,andby

YoureveraffectionateJUDITHNORTON.

LETTERXLIV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMRS.NORTONMONDAYNIGHT,JULY24.

MYDEARMRS.NORTON,

HadInotfallenintofreshtroubles,whichdisabledmeforseveraldaysfromholdingapen,Ishouldnothaveforborneinquiringafteryourhealth,andthatofyourson;forIshouldhavebeenbuttooreadytoimputeyoursilencetothecausetowhich,tomyverygreatconcern,Ifinditwasowing.IpraytoHeaven,mydeargoodfriend,togiveyou

comfortinthewaymostdesirabletoyourself.

IamexceedinglyconcernedatMissHowe'swritingaboutmetomyfriends.Idoassureyou,thatIwasasignorantofherintentionsotodoasofthecontentsofherletter.Norhassheyetletmeknow(discouraged,Isuppose,byherillsuccess)thatshedidwrite.Itisimpossibletosharethedelightwhichsuchcharmingspiritsgive,withouttheinconveniencethatwillattendtheirvolatility.--Somixedareourbestenjoyments!



ItwasbutyesterdaythatIwrotetochidethedearcreatureforfreedomsofthatnature,whichherunseasonably-expressedloveformehadmadehertake,asyouwrotemewordinyourformer.Iwasafraidthatallsuchfreedomswouldbeattributedtome.AndIamsurethatnothingbutmyownapplicationtomyfriends,andafullconvictionofmycontrition,willprocuremefavour.LeastofallcanIexpectthateitheryourmediationorher's(bothofwhosefondandpartialloveofmeissowellknown)willavailme.

[Shethengivesabriefaccountofthearrest:ofherdejectionunderit:ofherapprehensionsofbeingcarriedtoherformerlodgings:ofMr.Lovelace'savowedinnocenceastothatinsult:ofherreleasebyMr.Belford:ofMr.Lovelace'spromisenottomolesther:ofherclothesbeingsenther:oftheearnestdesireofallhisfriends,andofhimself,tomarryher:ofMissHowe'sadvicetocomplywiththeirrequests:andofherdeclaredresolutionrathertodiethanbehis,senttoMissHowe,tobegiventohisrelations,butasthedaybefore.Afterwhichshethusproceeds:]

Now,mydearMrs.Norton,youwillbesurprised,perhaps,thatIshouldhavereturnedsuchananswer:butwhenyouhaveeverythingbeforeyou,you,whoknowmesowell,willnotthinkmewrong.And,besides,Iamuponabetterpreparationthanforanearthlyhusband.

Norletitbeimagined,mydearandevervenerablefriend,thatmypresentturnofmindproceedsfromgloominessormelancholy;foralthoughitwasbroughtonbydisappointment,(theworldshowingmeearly,evenatmyfirstrushingintoit,itstrueanduglyface,)yetIhopethatithasobtainedabetterroot,andwilleverydaymoreandmore,byitsfruits,demonstratetome,andtoallmyfriends,thatithas.

Ihavewrittentomysister.LastFridayIwrote.Sothedieisthrown.Ihopeforagentleanswer.But,perhaps,theywillnotvouchsafemeany.Itismyfirstdirectapplication,youknow.IwishMissHowehadleftmetomyownworkingsinthistenderpoint.

Itwillbeagreatsatisfactiontometohearofyourperfectrecovery;andthatmyfoster-brotherisoutofdanger.Butwhy,saidI,outofdanger?--Whencanthisbejustlysaidofcreatures,whoholdbysouncertainatenure?Thisisoneofthoseformsofcommonspeech,thatprovesthefrailtyandthepresumptionofpoormortalatthesametime.

Don'tbeuneasy,youcannotansweryourwishestobewithme.IamhappierthanIcouldhaveexpectedtobeamongmerestrangers.Itwasgrievousatfirst;butusereconcileseverythingtous.ThepeopleofthehousewhereIamarecourteousandhonest.Thereisawidowwholodgesinit[haveInotsaidsoformerly?]agoodwoman;whoisthebetterforhavingbeenaproficientintheschoolofaffliction.

Anexcellentschool!mydearMrs.Norton,inwhichwearetaughttoknowourselves,tobeabletocompassionateandbearwithoneanother,andtolookuptoabetterhope.

Ihaveashumaneaphysician,(whosefeesarehisleastregard,)andasworthyanapothecary,aseverpatientwasvisitedby.Mynurseisdiligent,obliging,silent,andsober.SoIamnotunhappywithout:andwithin--Ihope,mydearMrs.Norton,thatIshallbeeverydaymoreandmorehappywithin.



NodoubtitwouldbeoneofthegreatestcomfortsIcouldknowtohaveyouwithme:you,wholovemesodearly:whohavebeenthewatchfulsustainerofmyhelplessinfancy:you,bywhosepreceptsIhavebeensomuchbenefited!--InyourdearbosomcouldIreposeallmygriefs:andbyyourpietyandexperienceinthewaysofHeaven,shouldIbestrengthenedinwhatIamstilltogothrough.

But,asitmustnotbe,Iwillacquiesce;andso,Ihope,willyou:foryouseeinwhatrespectsIamnotunhappy;andinthosethatIam,theylienotinyourpowertoremedy.

ThenasIhavetoldyou,Ihaveallmyclothesinmyownpossession.SoIamrichenough,astothisworld,incommonconveniencies.

Yousee,myvenerableanddearfriend,thatIamnotalwaysturningthedarksideofmyprospects,inordertomovecompassion;atrickimputedtome,toooften,bymyhard-heartedsister;when,ifIknowmyownheart,itisabovealltrickorartifice.YetIhopeatlastIshallbesohappyastoreceivebenefitratherthanreproachfromthistalent,ifitbemytalent.Atlast,Isay;forwhosehearthaveIhithertomoved?--Notone,Iamsure,thatwasnotpredeterminedinmyfavour.

Astotheday--Ihavepassedit,asIoughttopassit.Ithasbeenaveryheavydaytome!--Moreformyfriendssake,too,thanformyown!--

Howdidtheyusetopassit!--Whatafestivity!--Howhavetheynowpassedit?--Toimagineit,howgrievous!--Saynotthatthosearecruel,whosuffersomuchformyfault;andwho,foreighteenyearstogether,rejoicedinme,andrejoicedmebytheirindulgentgoodness!--ButIwillthinktherest!--Adieu,mydearestMrs.Norton!--

Adieu!

LETTERXLV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSARABELLAHARLOWE

FRIDAY,JULY21.

If,mydearestSister,Ididnotthinkthestateofmyhealthveryprecarious,andthatitwasmydutytotakethisstep,Ishouldhardlyhavedaredtoapproachyou,althoughbutwithmypen,afterhavingfoundyourcensuressodreadfullyjustifiedastheyhavebeen.

Ihavenotthecouragetowritetomyfatherhimself,noryettomymother.AnditiswithtremblingthatIaddressmyselftoyou,tobegofyoutointercedeforme,thatmyfatherwillhavethegoodnesstorevokethatheaviestpartoftheveryheavycursehelaiduponme,whichrelatestoHEREAFTER;for,astotheHERE,Ihaveindeedmetwithmypunishment

fromtheverywretchinwhomIwassupposedtoplacemyconfidence.

AsIhopenotforrestorationtofavour,Imaybeallowedtobeveryearnestonthishead:yetwillInotuseanyargumentsinsupportofmyrequest,becauseIamsuremyfather,wereitinhispower,wouldnothavehispoorchildmiserableforever.

Ihavethemostgratefulsenseofmymother'sgoodnessinsendingmeupmyclothes.IwouldhaveacknowledgedthefavourthemomentIreceivedthem,withthemostthankfulduty,butthatIfearedanylinefromme



wouldbeunacceptable.

Iwouldnotgivefreshoffence:sowilldeclineallothercommendationsofdutyandlove:appealingtomyheartforboth,wherebothareflamingwithanardourthatnothingbutdeathcanextinguish:thereforeonlysubscribemyself,withoutsomuchasaname,

MydearandhappySister,Yourafflictedservant.

Aletterdirectedforme,atMr.Smith's,aglover,inKing-street,Covent-garden,willcometohand.

LETTERXLVI

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.[INANSWERTOLETTERSXXIX.XXXII.OFTHISVOLUME.]EDGWARE,MONDAY,JULY24.

Whatpainsthoutakesttopersuadethyself,thatthelady'sillhealth

isowingtothevilearrest,andtotheimplacablenessofherfriends.Bothprimarily(iftheywere)tobelaidatthydoor.Whatpoorexcuseswillgoodheartsmakefortheevilstheyareputuponbybadhearts!--But'tisnowonderthathewhocansitdownpremeditatedlytodoabadaction,willcontenthimselfwithabadexcuse:andyetwhatfoolsmusthesupposetherestoftheworldtobe,ifheimaginesthemaseasytobeimposeduponashecanimposeuponhimself?

Invaindostthouimputetoprideorwilfulnessthenecessitytowhichthouhastreducedthisladyofpartingwithherclothes;Forcanshedootherwise,andbethenoble-mindedcreaturesheis?

Herimplacablefriendshaverefusedherthecurrentcashsheleftbehind

her;andwished,ashersisterwrotetoher,toseeherreducedtowant:probablythereforetheywillnotbesorrythatsheisreducedtosuchstraights;andwilltakeitforajustificationfromHeavenoftheirwickedhardheartedness.Thoucanstnotsupposeshewouldtakesuppliesfromthee:totakethemfrommewould,inheropinion,betakingthemfromthee.MissHowe'smotherisanavariciouswoman;and,perhaps,thedaughtercandonothingofthatsortunknowntoher;and,ifshecould,istoonobleagirltodenyit,ifcharged.AndthenMissHarloweisfirmlyofopinion,thatsheshallneverwantnorwearthethinkshedisposesof.

Havingheardnothingfromtownthatobligesmetogothither,IshallgratifypoorBeltonwithmycompanytillto-morrow,orperhapstill

Wednesday.Fortheunhappymanismoreandmorelothtopartwithme.IshallsoonsetoutforEpsom,toendeavourtoservehimthere,andre-instatehiminhisownhouse.Poorfellow!heismosthorriblylowspirited;mopesabout;andnothingdivertshim.Ipityhimatmyheart;butcandohimnogood.--WhatconsolationcanIgivehim,eitherfromhispastlife,orfromhisfutureprospects?

Ourfriendshipsandintimacies,Lovelace,areonlycalculatedforstronglifeandhealth.Whensicknesscomes,welookroundus,andupononeanother,likefrightedbirds,atthesightofakitereadytosouseupon



them.Then,withallourbravery,whatmiserablewretchesarewe!

Thoutallestmethatthouseestreformationiscomingswiftlyuponme.Ihopeitis.Iseesomuchdifferenceinthebehaviourofthisadmirablewomaninherillness,andthatofpoorBeltoninhis,thatitisplaintomethesinneristherealcoward,andthesaintthetruehero;and,soonerorlater,weshallallfindittobeso,ifwearenotcutoffsuddenly.

Theladyshutherselfupatsixo'clockyesterdayafternoon;andintendsnottoseecompanytillsevenoreightthis;notevenhernurse--imposinguponherselfaseverefast.Andwhy?ItisherBIRTH-DAY!--Everybirth-daytillthis,nodoubt,happy!--Whatmustbeherreflections!--Whatoughttobethine!

Whatsportdostthoumakewithmyaspirations,andmyprostrations,asthoucallestthem;andwithmydroppingofthebanknotebehindherchair!Ihadtoomuchaweofheratthetime,tomakeitwiththegracethatwouldbetterhavebecomemyintention.Buttheaction,ifawkward,wasmodest.Indeed,thefittersubjectforridiculewiththee;whocanstnomoretastethebeautyanddelicacyofmodestobligingnessthanofmodestlove.Forthesamemaybesaidofinviolablerespect,thatthepoetsaysofunfeignedaffection,

Ispeak!Iknownotwhat!--Speakeverso:andifIansweryouIknownotwhat,itshowsthemoreoflove.Loveisachildthattalksinbrokenlanguage;Yetthenitspeaksmostplain.

Thelikemaybepleadedinbehalfofthatmodestrespectwhichmadethehumbleoffererafraidtoinvadetheawfuleye,orthereveredhand;butawkwardlytodropitsincensebehindthealtaritshouldhavebeenlaidupon.Buthowshouldthatsoul,whichcouldtreatdelicacyitselfbrutally,knowanythingofthis!

ButIamstillmoreamazedatthycourage,tothinkofthrowingthyself

inthewayofMissHowe,andMissArabellaHarlowe!--Thouwiltnotdare,surely,tocarrythisthoughtintoexecution!

Astomydress,andthydress,Ihaveonlytosay,thatthesumtotalofthyobservationisthis:thatmyoutsideistheworstofme;andthinethebestofthee:andwhatgettestthoubythecomparison?Dothoureformtheone,I'lltrytomendtheother.Ichallengetheetobegin.

Mrs.Lovickgaveme,atmyrequest,thecopyofameditationsheshowedme,whichwasextractedbytheladyfromthescriptures,whileunderarrestatRowland's,asappearsbythedate.TheladyisnottoknowthatIhavetakenacopy.

YouandIalwaysadmiredthenoblesimplicity,andnaturaleaseanddignityofstyle,whicharethedistinguishingcharacteristicsofthesebooks,wheneveranypassagesfromthem,bywayofquotationintheworksofotherauthors,poptuponus.AndonceIrememberyou,evenyou,observed,thatthosepassagesalwaysappearedtoyoulikearichveinofgoldenore,whichrunsthroughbasermetals;embellishingtheworktheywerebroughttoauthenticate.

Try,Lovelace,ifthoucanstrelishaDivinebeauty.Ithinkitmuststriketransient(ifnotpermanent)remorseintothyheart.Thou



boastestofthyingenuousness:letthisbethetestofit;andwhetherthoucanstbeseriousonasubjecttoodeep,theoccasionofitresultingfromthyself.

MEDITATIONSaturday,July15.

Othatmygriefwerethoroughlyweighed,andmycalamitylaidinthebalancetogether!

Fornowitwouldbeheavierthanthesandofthesea:thereforemywordsareswallowedup!

ForthearrowsoftheAlmightyarewithinme;thepoisonwhereofdrinkethupmyspirit.TheterrorsofGoddosetthemselvesinarrayagainstme.

WhenIliedown,Isay,WhenshallIarise?Whenwillthenightbegone?AndIamfulloftossingstoandfro,untothedawningoftheday.

Mydaysareswifterthanaweaver'sshuttle,andarespentwithouthope--mineeyeshallnomoreseegood.

Whereforeislightgiventoherthatisinmisery;andlifeuntothe

bitterinsoul?Wholongethfordeath;butitcomethnot;anddiggethforitmorethanforhidtreasures?

Whyislightgiventoonewhosewayishid;andwhomGodhathhedgedin?

ForthethingwhichIgreatlyfearediscomeuponme!

Iwasnotinsafety;neitherhadIrest;neitherwasIquiet;yettroublecame.

ButbeholdGodismighty,anddespisethnotany.

Hegivethrighttothepoor--andiftheybefoundinfetters,andholdenincordsofaffliction,thenheshoweththemtheirworksandtheirtransgressions.

Ihavealittleleisure,andaminascribbingvein:indulgeme,Lovelace,afewreflectionsonthesesacredbooks.

WearetaughttoreadtheBible,whenchildren,asarudimentonly;and,asfarasIknow,thismaybethereasonwhywethinkourselvesaboveitwhenatamaturerage.Foryouknowthatourparents,aswellaswe,wiselyrateourproficiencybythebooksweareadvancedto,andnotby

ourunderstandingofthosewehavepassedthrough.But,inmyuncle'sillness,Ihadthecuriosity,insomeofmydullhours,(lightingupononeinhiscloset,)todipintoit:andthenIfound,whereverIturned,thattherewereadmirablethingsinit.Ihaveborrowedone,onreceivingfromMrs.Lovicktheabovemeditation;forIhadamindtocomparethepassagescontainedinitbythebook,hardlybelievingtheycouldbesoexceedinglyappositeasIfindtheyare.Andonetimeoranother,itisverylikely,thatIshallmakearesolutiontogivethewholeBibleaperusal,bywayofcourse,asImaysay.



This,meantime,Iwillventuretorepeat,iscertain,thatthestyleisthattrulyeasy,simple,andnaturalone,whichweshouldadmireineachotherauthorsexcessively.Thenalltheworldjoininanopinionoftheantiquity,andauthenticitytoo,ofthebook;andthelearnedarefondofstrengtheningtheirdifferentargumentsbyitssanctions.Indeed,Iwassomuchtakenwithitatmyuncle's,thatIwashalfashamedthatitappearedsonewtome.Andyet,Icannotbutsay,thatIhavesomeoftheOldTestamenthistory,asitiscalled,inmyhead:but,perhaps,ammoreobligedforittoJosephusthantotheBibleitself.

Oddenough,withallourprideoflearning,thatwechoosetoderivethelittleweknowfromtheundercurrents,perhapsmuddyonestoo,whentheclear,thepellucidfountain-head,ismuchnearerathand,andeasiertobecomeat--slightedthemore,possibly,forthatveryreason!

Butmanisapragmatical,foolishcreature;andthemorewelookintohim,themorewemustdespisehim--Lordsofthecreation!--Whocanforbearindignantlaughter!Whenweseenotoneoftheindividualsofthatcreation(hisperpetually-eccentricselfexcepted)butactswithinitsownnaturalandoriginalappointment:isoffanciedandself-dependentexcellence,heisobligednotonlyfortheornaments,butforthenecessariesoflife,(thatistosay,forfoodaswellasraiment,)toalltheothercreatures;struttingwiththeirbloodandspiritsinhisveins,andwiththeirplumageonhisback:forwhathashe

ofhisown,butaverymischievous,monkey-like,badnature!Yetthinkshimselfatlibertytokick,andcuff,andelbowouteveryworthiercreature:andwhenhehasnoneoftheanimalcreationtohuntdownandabuse,willmakeuseofhispower,hisstrength,orhiswealth,tooppressthelesspowerfulandweakerofhisownspecies!

WhenyouandImeetnext,letusentermorelargelyintothissubject:and,Idaresay,weshalltakeitbyturns,inimitationofthetwosagesofantiquity,tolaughandtoweepatthethoughtsofwhatmiserable,yetconceitedbeings,meningeneral,butwelibertinesinparticular,are.

IfelluponapieceatDorrell's,thisveryevening,intituled,TheSacredClassics,writtenbyoneBlackwell.

Itookithomewithme,andhadnotreadadozenpages,whenIwasconvincedthatIoughttobeashamedofmyselftothinkhowgreatlyIhaveadmiredlessnobleandlessnaturalbeautiesinPaganauthors;whileIhaveknownnothingofthisall-excitingcollectionofbeauties,theBible!Bymyfaith,Lovelace,Ishallforthefuturehaveabetteropinionofthegoodsenseandtasteofhalfascoreofparsons,whomIhavefalleninwithinmytime,anddespisedformagnifying,asIthoughttheydid,thelanguageandthesentimentstobefoundinit,inpreferencetoalltheancientpoetsandphilosophers.Andthisisnowaconvincingprooftome,andshamesasmuchaninfidel'spresumptionashisignorance,thatthosewhoknowleastarethegreatestscoffers.Aprettypackofwould-bewitsofus,whocensurewithoutknowledge,laugh

withoutreason,andaremostnoisyandloudagainstthingsweknowleastof!

LETTERXLVII

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.WEDNESDAY,JULY26.



Icamenottotowntillthismorningearly:poorBeltonclingingtome,asamandestituteofallotherhold.

IhastenedtoSmith's,andhadbutaveryindifferentaccountofthelady'shealth.Isentupmycompliments;andshedesiredtoseemeintheafternoon.

Mrs.Lovicktoldme,thatafterIwentawayonSaturday,sheactuallypartedwithoneofherbestsuitsofclothestoagentlewomanwhoisher[Mrs.Lovick's]benefactress,andwhoboughtthemforaniecewhoisveryspeedilytobemarried,andwhomshefitsoutandportionsasherintendedheiress.Theladywassojealousthatthemoneymightcomefromyouorme,thatshewouldseethepurchaser:whoownedtoMrs.Lovickthatsheboughtthemforhalftheirworth:butyet,thoughherconsciencepermittedhertotakethematsuchanunderrate,thewidowsaysherfriendadmiredthelady,asoneoftheloveliestofhersex:andhavingbeenletintoalittleofherstory,couldnothelpsheddingtearsattakingawayherpurchase.

Shemaybeagoodsortofwoman:Mrs.Lovicksayssheis:butSELFisanodiousdevil,thatreconcilestosomepeoplethemostcruelanddishonestactions.But,nevertheless,itismyopinion,thatthosewhocansufferthemselvestotakeadvantageofthenecessitiesoftheir

fellow-creatures,inordertobuyanythingatalessratethanwouldallowthemthelegalinterestoftheirpurchase-money(supposingtheypurchasebeforetheywant)arenobetterthanrobbersforthedifference.--Toplunderawreck,andtorobatafire,areindeedhigherdegreesofwickedness:butdonotthose,aswellasthese,heightenthedistressesofthedistressed,andheapmiseryonthemiserable,whomitisthedutyofeveryonetorelieve?

Aboutthreeo'clockIwentagaintoSmith's.TheladywaswritingwhenIsentupmyname;butadmittedofmyvisit.Isawamiserablealterationinhercountenancefortheworse;andMrs.Lovickrespectfullyaccusingheroftoogreatassiduitytoherpen,earlyandlate,andofherabstinencethedaybefore,Itooknoticeofthealteration;andtoldher,

thatherphysicianhadgreaterhopesofherthanshehadofherself;andIwouldtakethelibertytosay,thatdespairofrecoveryallowednotroomforcure.

Shesaidsheneitherdespairednorhoped.Thensteppingtotheglass,withgreatcomposure,Mycountenance,saidshe,isindeedanhonestpictureofmyheart.Butthemindwillrunawaywiththebodyatanytime.

Writingisallmydiversion,continuedshe:andIhavesubjectsthatcannotbedispensedwith.Astomyhours,Ihavealwaysbeenanearlyriser:butnowrestislessinmypowerthanever.Sleephasalongtimeagoquarreledwithme,andwillnotbefriends,althoughIhavemadethe

firstadvances.Whatwillbe,must.

Shethenstepttohercloset,andbroughtmeaparcelsealedupwiththreeseals:Besokind,saidshe,astogivethistoyourfriend.Averygratefulpresentitoughttobetohim:for,Sir,thispacketcontainssuchlettersofhistome,as,comparedwithhisactions,wouldreflectdishonouruponallhissex,weretheytofallintootherhands.

Astomyletterstohim,theyarenotmany.Hemayeitherkeepordestroythem,ashepleases.



Ithought,Lovelace,Ioughtnottoforegothisopportunitytopleadforyou:Itherefore,withthepacketinmyhand,urgedalltheargumentsIcouldthinkofinyourfavour.

SheheardmeoutwithmoreattentionthanIcouldhavepromisedmyself,consideringherdeterminedresolution.

Iwouldnotinterruptyou,Mr.Belford,saidshe,thoughIamfarfrombeingpleasedwiththesubjectofyourdiscourse.Themotivesforyourpleasinhisfavouraregenerous.Ilovetoseeinstancesofgenerousfriendshipineithersex.ButIhavewrittenmyfullmindonthissubjecttoMissHowe,whowillcommunicateittotheladiesofhisfamily.Nomore,therefore,Iprayyou,uponatopicthatmayleadtodisagreeablerecrimination.

Herapothecarycamein.Headvisedhertotheair,andblamedherforsogreatanapplication,ashewastoldshemadetoherpen;andhegaveitasthedoctor'sopinion,aswellashisown,thatshewouldrecover,ifsheherselfdesiredtorecover,andwouldusethemeans.

Shemaypossiblywritetoomuchforherhealth:butIhaveobserved,onseveraloccasions,thatwhenthemedicalmenareatalosswhattoprescribe,theyinquirewhattheirpatientslikebest,oraremost

divertedwith,andforbidthemthat.But,noblemindedastheyseethisladyis,theyknownothalfhernoblenessofmind,norhowdeeplysheiswounded;anddependtoomuchuponheryouth,whichIdoubtwillnotdointhiscase;andupontime,whichwillnotalleviatethewoesofsuchamind:for,havingbeenbentupondoinggood,anduponreclaimingalibertinewhomsheloved,sheisdisappointedinallherdarlingviews,andwillneverbeable,Ifear,tolookupwithsatisfactionenoughinherselftomakelifedesirabletoher.Forthisladyhadotherviewsinliving,thanthecommononesofeating,sleeping,dressing,visiting,andthoseotherfashionableamusements,whichfillupthetimeofmostofhersex,especiallyofthoseofitwhothinkthemselvesfittedtoshineinandadornpolite

assemblies.Hergrief,inshort,seemstometobeofsuchanature,thattime,whichalleviatesmostotherperson'safflictions,will,asthepoetsays,giveincreasetoher's.

Thou,Lovelace,mightesthaveseenallthissuperiorexcellence,asthouwentestalong.Ineveryword,ineverysentiment,ineveryaction,isitvisible.--Butthycursedinventionsandintriguingspiritranawaywiththee.'Tisfitthatthesubjectofthywickedboast,andthyreflectionsontalentssoegregiouslymisapplied,shouldbethypunishmentandthycurse.

Mr.Goddardtookhisleave;andIwasgoingtodosotoo,whenthemaidcameup,andtoldheragentlemanwasbelow,whoveryearnestlyinquired

afterherhealth,anddesiredtoseeher:hisnameHickman.

Shewasoverjoyed;andbidthemaiddesirethegentlemantowalkup.

Iwouldhavewithdrawn;butIsupposedshethoughtitwaslikelyIshouldhavemethimuponthestairs;andsosheforbidit.

Sheshottothestairs-headtoreceivehim,and,takinghishand,askedhalfadozenquestions(withoutwaitingforanyanswer)inrelationtoMissHowe'shealth;acknowledging,inhighterms,hergoodnessinsending



himtoseeher,beforeshesetoutuponherlittlejourney.

Hegaveheraletterfromthatyounglady,whichsheputintoherbosom,saying,shewouldreaditby-and-by.

Hewasvisiblyshockedtoseehowillshelooked.

Youlookatmewithconcern,Mr.Hickman,saidshe--OSir!timesarestrangelyalteredwithmesinceIsawyoulastatmydearMissHowe's!--WhatacheerfulcreaturewasIthen!--myheartatrest!myprospectscharming!andbelovedbyeverybody!--butIwillnotpainyou!

Indeed,Madam,saidhe,Iamgrievedforyouatmysoul.

Heturnedawayhisface,withvisiblegriefinit.

Herowneyesglistened:butsheturnedtoeachofus,presentingonetotheother--himtome,asagentlemantrulydeservingtobecalledso--metohim,asyourfriend,indeed,[howwasIatthatinstantashamedofmyself!]but,nevertheless,asamanofhumanity;detestingmyfriend'sbaseness;anddesirousofdoingherallmannerofgoodoffices.

Mr.Hickmanreceivedmycivilitieswithacoldness,which,however,wasrathertobeexpectedonyouraccount,thanthatitdeservedexceptionon

mine.Andtheladyinvitedusbothtobreakfastwithherinthemorning;hebeingobligedtoreturnthenextday.

Ileftthemtogether,andcalleduponMr.Dorrell,myattorney,toconsulthimuponpoorBelton'saffairs;andthenwenthome,andwrotethusfar,preparativetowhatmayoccurinmybreakfasting-visitinthemorning.

LETTERXLVIII


THURSDAY,JULY27.

Iwentthismorning,accordingtothelady'sinvitation,tobreakfast,andfoundMr.Hickmanwithher.

Agooddealofheavinessandconcernhunguponhiscountenance:buthereceivedmewithmorerespectthanhedidyesterday;which,Ipresume,wasowingtothelady'sfavourablecharacterofme.

Hespokeverylittle;forIsupposetheyhadalltheirtalkoutyesterday,andbeforeIcamethismorning.

Bythehintsthatdropped,IperceivedthatMissHowe'slettergaveanaccountofyourinterviewwithheratCol.Ambrose's--ofyourprofessionstoMissHowe;andMissHowe'sopinion,thatmarryingyouwastheonlywaynowlefttorepairherwrongs.

Mr.Hickman,asIalsogathered,hadpressedher,inMissHowe'sname,tolether,onherreturnfromtheIsleofWight,findherataneighbouringfarm-house,whereneatapartmentswouldbemadereadytoreceiveher.Sheaskedhowlongitwouldbebeforetheyreturned?Andhetoldher,itwasproposedtobenomorethanafortnightoutandin.Uponwhichshe



said,sheshouldthenperhapshavetimetoconsiderofthatkindproposal.

HehadtenderedhermoneyfromMissHowe;butcouldnotinducehertotakeany.NowonderIwasrefused!sheonlysaid,that,ifshehadoccasion,shewouldbeobligedtonobodybutMissHowe.

Mr.Goddard,herapothecary,cameinbeforebreakfastwasover.Atherdesirehesatdownwithus.Mr.Hickmanaskedhim,ifhecouldgivehimanyconsolationinrelationtoMissHarlowe'srecovery,tocarrydowntoafriendwholovedherasshelovedherownlife?

Thelady,saidhe,willdoverywell,ifshewillresolveuponitherself.Indeedyouwill,Madam.Thedoctorisentirelyofthisopinion;andhasorderednothingforyoubutweakjelliesandinnocentcordials,lestyoushouldstarveyourself.Andletmetellyou,Madam,thatsomuchwatching,solittlenourishment,andsomuchgrief,asyouseemtoindulge,isenoughtoimpairthemostvigoroushealth,andtowearoutthestrongestconstitution.

What,Sir,saidshe,canIdo?Ihavenoappetite.Nothingyoucallnourishingwillstayonmystomach.IdowhatIcan:andhavesuchkinddirectorsinDr.H.andyou,thatIshouldbeinexcusableifIdidnot.

I'llgiveyouaregimen,Madam,repliedhe;which,Iamsure,thedoctorwillapproveof,andwillmakephysicunnecessaryinyourcase.Andthatis,'gotorestattenatnight.Risenottillseveninthemorning.Letyourbreakfastbewatergruel,ormilk-pottage,orweakbroths:yourdinneranythingyoulike,soyouwillbuteat:adishoftea,withmilk,intheafternoon;andsagoforyoursupper:and,mylifeforyour's,thisdiet,andamonth'scountryair,willsetyouup.'

Weweremuchpleasedwiththeworthygentleman'sdisinterestedregimen:andshesaid,referringtohernurse,(whovouchedforher,)Pray,Mr.Hickman,letMissHoweknowthegoodhandsIamin:andastothekindchargeofthegentleman,assureher,thatallIpromisedtoher,inthelongestofmytwolastletters,onthesubjectofmyhealth,Idoand

will,totheutmostofmypower,observe.Ihaveengaged,Sir,(toMr.Goddard,)Ihaveengaged,Sir,(tome,)toMissHowe,toavoidallwilfulneglects.Itwouldbeanunpardonablefault,andveryillbecomethecharacterIwouldbegladtodeserve,orthetemperofmindIwishmyfriendshereaftertothinkmemistressof,ifIdidnot.

Mr.HickmanandIwentafterwardstoaneighbouringcoffee-house;andhegavemesomeaccountofyourbehaviourattheballonMondaynight,andofyourtreatmentofhimintheconferencehehadwithyoubeforethat;whichherepresentedinamorefavourablelightthanyouhaddoneyourself:andyethegavehissentimentsofyouwithgreatfreedom,butwiththepolitenessofagentleman.

Hetoldmehowverydeterminedtheladywasagainstmarryingyou;thatshehad,earlythismorning,setherselftowritealettertoMissHowe,inanswertoonehebroughther,whichhewastocallforattwelve,itbeingalmostfinishedbeforehesawheratbreakfast;andthatatthreeheproposedtosetoutonhisreturn.

HetoldmethatMissHowe,andhermother,andhimself,weretobegintheirlittlejourneyfortheIsleofWightonMondaynext:butthathemustmakethemostfavourablerepresentationofMissHarlowe'sbadhealth,ortheyshouldhaveaveryuneasyabsence.Heexpressedthe



pleasurehehadinfindingtheladyinsuchgoodhands.HeproposedtocallonDr.H.totakehisopinionwhetheritwerelikelyshewouldrecover;andhopedheshouldfinditfavourable.

Ashewasresolvedtomakethebestofthematter,andastheladyhadrefusedtoacceptofthemoneyofferedbyMr.Hickman,Isaidnothingofherpartingwithherclothes.Ithoughtitwouldservenootherendtomentionit,buttoshockMissHowe:forithassuchasoundwithit,thatawomanofherrankandfortuneshouldbesoreduced,thatIcannotmyselfthinkofitwithpatience;norknowIbutonemanintheworldwhocan.

Thisgentlemanisalittlefinicalandformal.Modestordiffidentmenwearnotsoonoffthoselittleprecisenesses,whichtheconfident,ifevertheyhadthem,presentlygetabove;becausetheyaretooconfidenttodoubtanything.ButIthinkMr.Hickmanisanagreeable,sensibleman,andnotatalldeservingofthetreatmentorthecharacteryougivehim.

Butyouarereallyastrangemortal:becauseyouhaveadvantagesinyourperson,inyourair,andintellect,aboveallthemenIknow,andafacethatwoulddeceivethedevil,youcan'tthinkanymanelsetolerable.

Itisuponthismodestprinciplethatthouderidestsomeofus,who,not

havingthyconfidenceintheiroutsideappearance,seektohidetheirdefectsbythetailor'sandperuke-maker'sassistance;(mistakenlyenough,ifitbereallydonesoabsurdlyastoexposethemmore;)andsayest,thatwedobuthangoutasign,inourdress,ofwhatwehaveintheshopofourminds.This,nodoubt,thouthinkest,issmartlyobserved:butpr'ythee,Lovelace,letmetellthee,ifthoucanst,whatsortofasignmustthouhangout,wertthouobligedtogiveusaclearideabyitofthefurnitureofthymind?

Mr.Hickmantellsme,heshouldhavebeenhappywithMissHowesomeweeksago,(forallthesettlementshavebeensometimeengrossed;)butthatshewillnotmarry,shedeclares,whileherdearfriendissounhappy.

Thisistrulyacharminginstanceoftheforceoffemalefriendship;whichyouandI,andourbrotherrakes,haveconstantlyridiculedasachimericalthinginwomenofequalage,andperfections.

Butreally,Lovelace,Iseemoreandmorethattherearenotintheworld,withourconceitedpride,narrower-souledwretchesthanwerakesandlibertinesare.AndI'lltelltheehowitcomesabout.

Ourearlyloveofroguerymakesusgenerallyrunawayfrominstruction;andsowebecomemeresmatterersinthesciencesweareputtolearn;and,becausewewillknownomore,thinkthereisnomoretobeknown.

Withaninfinitedealofvanity,un-reinedimaginations,andnojudgments

atall,wenextcommencehalf-wits,andthenthinkwehavethewholefieldofknowledgeinpossession,anddespiseeveryonewhotakesmorepains,andismoreserious,thanourselves,asphlegmatic,stupidfellows,whohavenotasteforthemostpoignantpleasuresoflife.

Thismakesusinsufferabletomenofmodestyandmerit,andobligesustoherdwiththoseofourowncast;andbythismeanswehavenoopportunitiesofseeingorconversingwithanybodywhocouldorwouldshowuswhatweare;andsoweconcludethatwearethecleverestfellowsintheworld,andtheonlymenofspiritinit;andlookingdownwith



superciliouseyesonallwhogavenotthemselvesthelibertieswetake,imaginetheworldmadeforus,andforusonly.

Thus,astousefulknowledge,whileothersgotothebottom,weonlyskimthesurface;aredespisedbypeopleofsolidsense,oftruehonour,andsuperiortalents;andshuttingoureyes,moveroundandround,likesomanyblindmill-horses,inonenarrowcircle,whileweimaginewehavealltheworldtorangein.

***

IthrewmyselfinMr.Hickman'sway,onhisreturnfromthelady.

Hewasexcessivelymovedattakingleaveofher;beingafraid,ashesaidtome,(thoughhewouldnottellherso,)thatheshouldneverseeheragain.ShechargedhimtorepresenteverythingtoMissHoweinthemostfavourablelightthatthetruthwouldbear.

Hetoldmeofatenderpassageatparting;whichwas,thathavingsalutedherathercloset-door,hecouldnothelponcemoretakingthesameliberty,inamoreferventmanner,atthestairs-head,whithersheaccompaniedhim;andthisinthethought,thatitwasthelasttimehe

shouldeverhavethathonour;andofferingtoapologizeforhisfreedom(forhehadpressedhertohisheartwithavehemence,thathecouldneitheraccountfororresist)--'Excuseyou,Mr.Hickman!thatIwill:youaremybrotherandmyfriend:andtoshowyouthatthegoodman,whoistobehappywithmybelovedMissHowe,isverydeartome,youshallcarrytoherthistokenofmylove,'[offeringhersweetfacetohissalute,andpressinghishandbetweenher's:]'andperhapsherloveofmewillmakeitmoreagreeabletoher,thanherpunctiliowouldotherwiseallowittobe:andtellher,saidshe,droppingononeknee,withclaspedhands,andupliftedeyes,thatinthispostureyouseeme,inthelastmomentofourparting,beggingablessinguponyouboth,andthatyoumaybethedelightandcomfortofeachother,formany,verymanyhappyyears!'

Tears,saidhe,fellfrommyeyes:Ievensobbedwithmingledjoyandsorrow;andsheretreatingassoonasIraisedher,Iwentdownstairshighlydissatisfiedwithmyselfforgoing;yetunabletostay;myeyesfixedthecontrarywaytomyfeet,aslongasIcouldbeholdtheskirtsofherraiment.

Iwenttotheback-shop,continuedtheworthyman,andrecommendedtheangelicladytothebestcareofMrs.Smith;and,whenIwasinthestreet,castmyeyeupatherwindow:there,forthelasttime,Idoubt,saidhe,thatIshalleverbeholdher,Isawher;andshewavedhercharminghandtome,andwithsuchalookofsmilinggoodness,andmingledconcern,asIcannotdescribe.

Pr'ytheetellme,thouvileLovelace,ifthouhastnotanotion,evenfromthesejejunedescriptionsofmine,thattheremustbeamoreexaltedpleasureinintellectualfriendship,thaneverthoucouldsttasteinthegrossfumesofsensuality?Andwhetheritmaynotbepossibleforthee,intime,togivethatpreferencetotheinfinitelypreferable,whichIhope,now,thatIshallalwaysgive?

Iwillleavetheetomakethemostofthisreflection,from



Thytruefriend,J.BELFORD.

LETTERXLIX

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETHURSDAY,JULY25.*

*Texterror:shouldbeTuesday.

Yourtwoaffectingletterswerebroughttome(asIhaddirectedanyletterfromyoushouldbe)totheColonel's,aboutanhourbeforewebrokeup.Icouldnotforbeardippingintothemthere;andsheddingmoretearsoverthemthanIwilltellyouof;althoughIdriedmyeyesaswellasIcould,thatthecompanyIwasobligedtoreturnto,andmymother,shouldseeaslittleofmyconcernaspossible.

Iamyet(andwasthenstillmore)excessivelyfluttered.TheoccasionIwillcommunicatetoyouby-and-by:fornothingbutthefluttersgivenbythestrokeofdeathcoulddivertmyfirstattentionfromthesadandsolemncontentsofyourlastfavour.ThesethereforeImustbeginwith.

HowcanIbearthethoughtsoflosingsodearafriend!Iwillnotsomuchassupposeit.IndeedIcannot!suchamindasyour'swasnotvestedinhumanitytobesnatchedawayfromussosoon.Theremuststillbeagreatdealforyoutodoforthegoodofallwhohavethehappinesstoknowyou.

YouenumerateinyourletterofThursdaylast,*theparticularsinwhichyoursituationisalreadymended:letmeseebyeffectsthatyouareinearnestinthatenumeration;andthatyoureallyhavethecouragetoresolvetogetabovethesenseofinjuriesyoucouldnotavoid;andthenwillItrusttoProvidenceandmyhumbleprayersforyourperfectrecovery:andgladatmyheartshallIbe,onmyreturnfromthelittle

island,tofindyouwellenoughtobenearusaccordingtotheproposalMr.Hickmanhastomaketoyou.

*SeeVol.VII.LetterXXV.

Youchidemeinyour'sofSundayonthefreedomItakewithyourfriends.*

*Ibid.LetterXLII.

Imaybewarm.IknowIam--toowarm.Yetwarmthinfriendship,surely,cannotbeacrime;especiallywhenourfriendhasgreatmerit,laboursunderoppression,andisstrugglingwithundeservedcalamity.

Ihavenoopinionofcoolnessinfriendship,beitdignifiedordistinguishedbythenameofprudence,orwhatitwill.

Youmayexcuseyourrelations.Itwaseveryourwaytodoso.But,mydear,otherpeoplemustbeallowedtojudgeastheyplease.Iamnot



theirdaughter,northesisterofyourbrotherandsister--IthankHeaven,Iamnot.

ButifyouaredispleasedwithmeforthefreedomsItooksolongagoasyoumention,Iamafraid,ifyouknewwhatpasseduponanapplicationImadetoyoursisterverylately,(inhopestoprocureyoutheabsolutionyourheartissomuchsetupon,)thatyouwouldbestillmoreconcerned.Buttheyhavebeenevenwithme--butImustnottellyouall.Ihope,however,thattheseunforgivers[mymotherisamongthem]werealwaysgood,dutiful,passivechildrentotheirparents.

Oncemoreforgiveme.IownedIwastoowarm.ButIhavenoexampletothecontrarybutfromyou:andthetreatmentyoumeetwithisverylittleencouragementtometoendeavourtoimitateyouinyourdutifulmeekness.

Youleaveittometogiveanegativetothehopesofthenoblefamily,whoseonlydisgraceis,thatsoveryvileamanissonearlyrelatedtothem.Butyet--alas!mydear,Iamsofearfulofconsequences,soselfishlyfearful,ifthisnegativemustbegiven--Idon'tknowwhatIshouldsay--butgivemeleavetosuspend,however,thisnegativetillIhearfromyouagain.

Thisearnestcourtshipofyouintotheirsplendidfamilyissoveryhonourabletoyou--theysojustlyadmireyou--youmusthavehadsucha

nobletriumphoverthebaseman--heissomuchinearnest--theworldknowssomuchoftheunhappyaffair--youmaydostillsomuchgood--yourwillissoinviolate--yourrelationsaresoimplacable--think,mydear,andre-think.

Andletmeleaveyoutodoso,whileIgiveyoutheoccasionoftheflutterImentionedatthebeginningofthisletter;intheconclusionofwhichyouwillfindtheobligationIhaveconsentedtolaymyselfunder,toreferthisimportantpointoncemoretoyourdiscussion,beforeIgive,inyourname,thenegativethatcannot,whengiven,bewithhonourtoyourselfrepentedoforrecalled.

Know,then,mydear,thatIaccompaniedmymothertoColonelAmbrose'son

theoccasionImentionedtoyouinmyformer.Manyladiesandgentlemenweretherewhomyouknow;particularlyMissKittyD'Oily,MissLloyd,MissBiddyD'Ollyffe,MissBiddulph,andtheirrespectiveadmirers,withtheColonel'stwonieces;finewomenboth;besidesmanywhomyouknownot;fortheywerestrangerstomebutbyname.Asplendidcompany,andallpleasedwithoneanother,tillColonelAmbroseintroducedone,who,themomenthewasbroughtintothegreathall,setthewholeassemblyintoakindofagitation.

Itwasyourvillain.

IthoughtIshouldhavesunkassoonasIsetmyeyesuponhim.Mymotherwasalsoaffected;and,comingtome,Nancy,whisperedshe,can

youbearthesightofthatwretchwithouttoomuchemotion?--Ifnot,withdrawintothenextapartment.

Icouldnotremove.Everybody'seyeswereglancedfromhimtome.Isatdownandfannedmyself,andwasforcedtoorderaglassofwater.Oh!thatIhadtheeyethebasiliskisreportedtohave,thoughtI,andthathislifewerewithinthepowerofit!--directlywouldIkillhim.

Heenteredwithanairsohatefultome,butsoagreeabletoeveryothereye,thatIcouldhavelookedhimdeadforthattoo.



AfterthegeneralsalutationshesingledoutMr.Hickman,andtoldhimhehadrecollectedsomepartsofhisbehaviourtohim,whenhesawhimlast,whichhadmadehimthinkhimselfunderobligationtohispatienceandpoliteness.

Andso,indeed,hewas.

MissD'Oily,uponhiscomplimentingher,amongaknotofladies,askedhim,intheirhearing,howMissClarissaHarlowedid?

Heheard,hesaid,youwerenotsowellashewishedyoutobe,andasyoudeservedtobe.

OMr.Lovelace,saidshe,whathaveyoutoanswerforonthatyounglady'saccount,ifallbetruethatIhaveheard.

Ihaveagreatdealtoanswerfor,saidtheunblushingvillain:butthatdearladyhassomanyexcellencies,andsomuchdelicacy,thatlittlesinsaregreatonesinhereye.

Littlesins!repliedMissD'Oily:Mr.Lovelace'scharacterissowellknown,thatnobodybelieveshecancommitlittlesins.

Youareverygoodtome,MissD'Oily.IndeedIamnot.

ThenIamtheonlypersontowhomyouarenotverygood:andsoIamthelessobligedtoyou.

Heturned,withanunconcernedair,toMissPlayford,andmadehersomegenteelcompliments.Ibelieveyouknowhernot.ShevisitshiscousinsMontague.Indeedhehadsomethinginhisspeciousmannertosaytoeverybody:andthistoosoonquietedthedisgusteachpersonhadathisentrance.

Istillkeptmyseat,andheeithersawmenot,orwouldnotyetseeme;andaddressinghimselftomymother,takingherunwillinghand,withanairofhighassurance,Iamgladtoseeyouhere,Madam,IhopeMissHoweiswell.Ihavereasontocomplaingreatlyofher:buthopetoowetoherthehighestobligationthatcanbelaidonman.

Mydaughter,Sir,isaccustomedtobetoowarmandtoozealousinherfriendshipsforeithermytranquilityorherown.

Therehadindeedbeensomelateoccasiongivenformutualdispleasurebetweenmymotherandme:butIthinkshemighthavesparedthistohim;thoughnobodyheardit,Ibelieve,butthepersontowhomitwasspoken,andtheladywhotolditme;formymotherspokeitlow.

Wearenotwholly,Madam,toliveforourselves,saidthevilehypocrite:itisnoteveryonewhohadasoulcapableoffriendship:andwhataheartmustthatbe,whichcanbeinsensibletotheinterestsofasufferingfriend?

ThissentimentfromMr.Lovelace'smouth!saidmymother--forgiveme,Sir;butyoucanhavenoend,surely,inendeavouringtomakemethinkaswellofyouassomeinnocentcreatureshavethoughtofyoutotheircost.



Shewouldhaveflungfromhim.But,detainingherhand--Lesssevere,dearMadam,saidhe,belesssevereinthisplace,Ibeseechyou.Youwillallow,thataveryfaultypersonmayseehiserrors;andwhenhedoes,andownsthem,andrepents,shouldhenotbetreatedmercifully?

Yourair,Sir,seemsnottobethatofapenitent.Buttheplacemayasproperlyexcusethissubject,aswhatyoucallmyseverity.

But,dearestMadam,permitmetosay,thatIhopeforyourinterestwithyourcharmingdaughter(washissyncophantword)tohaveitputinmypowertoconvincealltheworldthatthereneverwasatruerpenitent.Andwhy,whythisanger,dearMadam,(forshestruggledtogetherhandoutofhis,)theseviolentairs--somaidenly![impudentfellow!]--MayInotask,ifMissHowebehere?

Shewouldnothavebeenhere,repliedmymother,hadsheknownwhomshehadbeentosee.

Andisshehere,then?--ThankHeaven!--hedisengagedherhand,andsteptforwardintocompany.

DearMissLloyd,saidhe,withanair,(takingherhandashequittedmymother's,)tellme,tellme,isMissArabellaHarlowehere?Orwillshebehere?Iwasinformedshewould--andthis,andtheopportunityof

payingmycomplimentstoyourfriendMissHowe,weregreatinducementswithmetoattendtheColonel.

Superlativeassurance!wasitnot,mydear?

MissArabellaHarlowe,excuseme,Sir,saidMissLloyd,wouldbeverylittleinclinedtomeetyouhere,oranywhereelse.

Perhapsso,mydearMissLloyd:but,perhaps,forthatveryreason,Iammoredesiroustoseeher.

MissHarlowe,Sir,andMissBiddulph,withathreateningair,willhardlybeherewithoutherbrother.Iimagine,ifonecomes,bothwillcome.

Heavengranttheybothmay!saidthewretch.Nothing,MissBiddulph,shallbeginfrommetodisturbthisassembly,Iassureyou,iftheydo.Onecalmhalf-hour'sconversationwiththatbrotherandsister,wouldbeamostfortunateopportunitytome,inpresenceoftheColonelandhislady,orwhomelsetheyshouldchoose.

Then,turninground,asifdesiroustofindouttheoneortheother,he'spiedme,andwithaverylowbow,approachedme.

Iwasallinaflutter,youmaysuppose.Hewouldhavetakenmyhand.Irefusedit,allglowingwithindignation:everybody'seyesuponus.

Iwentdownfromhimtotheotherendoftheroom,andsatdown,asIthought,outofhishatedsight;butpresentlyIheardhisodiousvoice,whispering,behindmychair,(heleaninguponthebackofit,withimpudentunconcern,)CharmingMissHowe!lookingovermyshoulder:onerequest--[Istartedupfrommyseat;butcouldhardlystandneither,forveryindignation]--Othissweet,butbecomingdisdain!whisperedontheinsufferablecreature--Iamsorrytogiveyouallthisemotion:buteitherhere,oratyourownhouse,letmeentreatfromyouonequarterofanhour'saudience.--Ibeseechyou,Madam,butonequarterofanhour,inanyoftheadjoiningapartments.



Notforakingdom,flutteringmyfan.IknewnotwhatIdid.--ButIcouldhavekilledhim.

Wearesomuchobserved--elseonmyknees,mydearMissHowe,wouldIbegyourinterestwithyourcharmingfriend.

She'llhavenothingtosaytoyou.

(Ihadnotthenyourletters,mydear.)

Killingwords!--ButindeedIhavedeservedthem,andadaggerinmyheartbesides.Iamsoconsciousofmydemerits,thatIhavenohope,butinyourinterposition--couldIowethatfavourtoMissHowe'smediationwhichIcannothopeforonanyotheraccount--

Mymediation,vilestofmen!--Mymediation!--Iabhoryou!--Frommysoul,Iabhoryou,vilestofmen!--ThreeorfourtimesIrepeatedthesewords,stammeringtoo.--Iwasexcessivelyfluttered.

Youcantellmenothing,Madam,sobadasIwillcallmyself.Ihavebeen,indeed,thevilestofmen;butnowIamnotso.Permitme--everybody'seyesareuponus!--butonemoment'saudience--toexchangebuttenwordswithyou,dearestMissHowe--inwhosepresenceyouplease--foryour

dearfriend'ssake--buttenwordswithyouinthenextapartment.ItisaninsultuponmetopresumethatIwouldexchangewithyou,ifIcouldhelpit!--Outofmyway!Outofmysight--fellow!

AndawayIwouldhaveflung:buthetookmyhand.Iwasexcessivelydisordered--everybody'seyesmoreandmoreintentuponus.

Mr.Hickman,whommymotherhaddrawnononeside,toenjoinhimapatience,whichperhapsneedednottohavebeenenforced,cameupjustthen,withmymotherwhohadhimbyhisleading-strings--byhissleeveIshouldsay.

Mr.Hickman,saidtheboldwretch,bemyadvocatebutfortenwordsinthenextapartmentwithMissHowe,inyourpresence;andinyour's,Madam,tomymother.

Hear,Nancy,whathehastosaytoyou.Togetridofhim,hearhistenwords.

Excuseme,Madam!hisverybreath--Unhandme,Sir!

Hesighedandlooked--Ohowthepractisedvillainsighedandlooked!Hethenletgomyhand,withsuchareverenceinhismanner,asbroughtblameuponmefromsome,thatIwouldnothearhim.--Andthisincensedmethemore.Omydear,thismanisadevil!Thismanisindeedadevil!--

Somuchpatiencewhenhepleases!Somuchgentleness!--Yetsoresolute,sopersisting,soaudacious!

Iwasgoingoutoftheassemblyingreatdisorder.HewasatthedoorassoonasI.

Howkindthisis,saidthewretch;and,readytofollowme,openedthedoorforme.

Iturnedbackuponthis:and,notknowingwhatIdid,snappedmyfanjust



inhisface,asheturnedshortuponme;andthepowderflewfromhishair.

EverybodyseemedasmuchpleasedasIwasvexed.

HeturnedtoMr.Hickman,nettledatthepowderflying,andatthesmilesofthecompanyuponhim;Mr.Hickman,youwillbeoneofthehappiestmenintheworld,becauseyouareagoodman,andwilldonothingtoprovokethispassionatelady;andbecauseshehastoomuchgoodsensetobeprovokedwithoutreason:butelsetheLordhavemercyuponyou!

Thisman,thisMr.Hickman,mydear,istoomeekforaman.Indeedheis.--Butmypatientmothertwitsme,thatherpassionatedaughteroughttolikehimthebetterforthat.Butmeekmenabroadarenotalwaysmeekathome.Ihaveobservedthatinmoreinstancesthanone:andiftheywere,Ishouldnot,Iverilythink,likethemthebetterforbeingso.

Hethenturnedtomymother,resolvedtobeevenwithhertoo:Where,goodMadam,couldMissHowegetallthisspirit?

Thecompanyaroundsmiled;forIneednottellyouthatmymother'shighspiritednessisprettywellknown;andshe,sadlyvexed,said,Sir,youtreatme,asyoudotherestoftheworld--but--

Ibegpardon,Madam,interruptedhe:Imighthavesparedmyquestion--andinstantly(Iretiringtotheotherendofthehall)heturnedtoMissPlayford;WhatwouldIgive,Madam,tohearyousingthatsongyouobligeduswithatLordM.'s!

Hethen,asifnothinghadhappened,fellintoaconversationwithherandMissD'Ollyffe,uponmusic;andwhisperinglysungtoMissPlayford;holdinghertwohands,withsuchairsofgenteelunconcern,thatitvexedmenotalittletolookround,andseehowpleasedhalfthegiddyfoolsofoursexwerewithhim,notwithstandinghisnotoriouswickedcharacter.Tothisitisthatsuchvilefellowsowemuchoftheirvileness:whereas,iftheyfoundthemselvesshunned,anddespised,andtreatedasbeastsofprey,astheyare,theywouldruntotheircaverns;therehowlby

themselves;andnonebutsuchassadaccident,orunpitiablepresumption,threwintheirway,wouldsufferbythem.

Heafterwardstalkedveryseriously,attimes,toMr.Hickman:attimes,Isay;foritwaswithsuchbreaksandstartsofgaiety,turningtothislady,andtothat,andthentoMr.Hickmanagain,resumingaseriousoragayairatpleasure,thathetookeverybody'seye,thewomen'sespecially;whowerefulloftheirwhisperingadmirationsofhim,qualifiedwithif'sandbut's,andwhatpity's,andsuchsortofstuff,thatshowedintheirverydispraisestoomuchliking.

Wellmayoursexbethesportandridiculeofsuchlibertines!Unthinkingeye-governedcreatures!--Wouldnotalittlereflectionteach

us,thatamanofmeritmustbeamanofmodesty,becauseadiffidentone?andthatsuchawretchasthismusthavetakenhisdegreesinwickedness,andgonethroughacourseofvileness,beforehecouldarriveatthisimpenetrableeffrontery?aneffronterywhichcanproduceonlyfromthelightopinionhehasofus,andthehighoneofhimself.

Butoursexaregenerallymodestandbashfulthemselves,andaretooapttoconsiderthatwhichinthemainistheirprincipalgrace,asadefect:andfinelydotheyjudge,whentheythinkofsupplyingthatdefectbychoosingamanthatcannotbeashamed.



HisdiscoursetoMr.Hickmanturneduponyou,andhisacknowledgedinjuriesofyou:thoughhecouldsolightlystartfromthesubject,andreturntoit.

Ihavenopatiencewithsuchadevil--manhecannotbecalled.Tobesurehewouldbehaveinthesamemanneranywhere,orinanypresence,evenatthealtaritself,ifawomanwerewithhimthere.

Itshalleverbearulewithme,thathewhodoesnotregardawomanwithsomedegreeofreverence,willlookuponherandoccasionallytreatherwithcontempt.

Hehadtheconfidencetooffertotakemeout;butIabsolutelyrefusedhim,andshunnedhimallIcould,puttingonthemostcontemptuousairs;butnothingcouldmortifyhim.

IwishedtwentytimesIhadnotbeenthere.

ThegentlemenwereasreadyasItowishhehadbrokenhisneck,ratherthanbeenpresent,Ibelieve:fornobodywasregardedbuthe.Solittleofthefop;yetsoelegantandrichinhisdress:hispersonsospecious:hisairsointrepid:somuchmeaningandpenetrationinhisface:somuchgaiety,yetsolittleaffectation;nomeretoupet-man;butallmanly;and

hiscourageandwit,theonesoknown,theothersodreaded,youmustthinkthepetits-maÃ®tres(ofwhichtherewerefourorfivepresent)weremostdeplorablyoffinhiscompany;andonegravegentlemanobservedtome,(pleasedtoseemeshunhimasIdid,)thatthepoet'sobservationwastootrue,thatthegeneralityofladieswererakesintheirhearts,ortheycouldnotbesomuchtakenwithamanwhohadsonotoriousacharacter.

Itoldhimthereflectionbothofthepoetandapplierwasmuchtoogeneral,andmadewithmoreill-naturethangoodmanners.

WhenthewretchsawhowindustriouslyIavoidedhim,(shiftingfromonepartofthehalltoanother,)heatlastboldlysteptuptome,asmy

motherandMr.Hickmanweretalkingtome;andthusbeforethemaccostedme:

Ibegyourpardon,Madam;butbyyourmother'sleave,Imusthaveafewmoments'conversationwithyou,eitherhere,oratyourownhouse;andIbegyouwillgivemetheopportunity.

Nancy,saidmymother,hearwhathehastosaytoyou.Inmypresenceyoumay:andbetterintheadjoiningapartment,ifitmustbe,thantocometoyouatourownhouse.

Iretiredtoonecornerofthehall,mymotherfollowingme,andhe,takingMr.Hickmanunderhisarm,followingher--Well,Sir,saidI,what

haveyoutosay?--Tellmehere.

IhavebeentellingMr.Hickman,saidhe,howmuchIamconcernedfortheinjuriesIhavedonetothemostexcellentwomanintheworld:andyet,thatsheobtainedsuchaglorioustriumphovermethelasttimeIhadthehonourtoseeher,as,withmypenitence,oughttohaveabatedherformerresentments:butthatIwill,withallmysoul,enterintoanymeasurestoobtainherforgivenessofme.MycousinsMontaguehavetoldyouthis.LadyBettyandLadySarahandmyLordM.areengagedformyhonour.Iknowyourpowerwiththedearcreature.Mycousinstoldmeyougavethem



hopesyouwoulduseitinmybehalf.MyLordM.andhistwosistersareimpatientlyexpectingthefruitsofit.Youmusthaveheardfromherbeforenow:Ihopeyouhave.Andwillyoubesogoodastotellme,ifImayhaveanyhopes?

IfImustspeakonthissubject,letmetellyouthatyouhavebrokenherheart.Youknownotthevalueoftheladyyouhaveinjured.Youdeservehernot.Andshedespisesyou,assheought.

DearMissHowe,minglenotpassionwithdenunciationssosevere.Imustknowmyfate.Iwillgoabroadoncemore,ifIfindherabsolutelyirreconcileable.ButIhopeshewillgivemeleavetoattenduponher,toknowmydoomfromherownmouth.

Itwouldbedeathimmediateforhertoseeyou.Andwhatmustyoube,tobeabletolookherintheface?

Ithenreproachedhim(withvehemenceenoughyoumaybelieve)onhisbaseness,andtheevilshehadmadeyousuffer:thedistresshehadreducedyouto;allyourfriendsmadeyourenemies:thevilehousehehadcarriedyouto;hintedathisvillanousarts;thedreadfularrest:andtoldhimofyourpresentdeplorableillness,andresolutiontodieratherthantohavehim.

Hevindicatednotanypartofhisconduct,butthatofthearrest;andsosolemnlyprotestedhissorrowforhisusageofyou,accusinghimselfinthefreestmanner,andbydeservedappellations,thatIpromisedtolaybeforeyouthispartofourconversation.Andnowyouhaveit.

Mymother,aswellasMr.Hickman,believes,fromwhatpassedonthisoccasion,thatheistouchedinconscienceforthewrongshehasdoneyou:but,byhiswholebehaviour,Imustown,itseemstomethatnothingcantouchhimforhalfanhourtogether.YetIhavenodoubtthathewouldwillinglymarryyou;anditpiqueshispride,Icouldsee,thatheshouldbedenied;asitdidmine,thatsuchawretchhaddaredtothinkitinhispowertohavesuchawomanwheneverhepleased;andthatitmustbeaccountedacondescension,andmatterofobligation(byallhis

ownfamilyatleast)thathewouldvouchsafetothinkofmarriage.

Now,mydear,youhavebeforeyouthereasonwhyIsuspendthedecisivenegativetotheladiesofhisfamily.Mymother,MissLloyd,andMissBiddulph,whowereinquisitiveafterthesubjectofourretiredconversation,andwhosecuriosityIthoughtitwasright,insomedegree,togratify,(especiallyastheseyoungladiesareofourselectacquaintance,)areallofopinionthatyoushouldbehis.

YouwillletMr.Hickmanknowyourwholemind;andwhenheacquaintmewithit,Iwilltellyouallmyown.

Meantime,maythenewshewillbringmeofthestateofyourhealthbe

favourable!prays,withtheutmostfervency,

YoureverfaithfulandaffectionateANNAHOWE.

LETTERL

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE



THURSDAY,JULY27.

MYDEARESTMISSHOWE,

AfterIhavethankfullyacknowledgedyourfavourinsendingMr.Hickmantovisitmebeforeyousetoutuponyourintendedjourney,Imustchideyou(inthesincerityofthatfaithfullove,whichcouldnotbetheloveitisifitwouldnotadmitofthatcementingfreedom)forsuspendingthedecisivenegative,which,uponsuchfulldeliberation,IhadentreatedyoutogivetoMr.Lovelace'srelations.

IamsorrythatIamobligedtorepeattoyou,mydear,whoknowmesowell,that,wereIsureIshouldlivemanyyears,IwouldnothaveMr.Lovelace;muchlesscanIthinkofhim,asitisprobableImaynotliveone.

Astotheworldanditscensures,youknow,mydear,that,howeverdesirousIalwayswasofafairfame,yetIneverthoughtitrighttogivemorethanasecondplacetotheworld'sopinion.ThechallengesmadetoMr.Lovelace,byMissD'Oily,inpubliccompany,areafreshproofthatIhavelostmyreputation:andwhatadvantagewoulditbetome,wereitretrievable,andwereItolivelong,ifIcouldnotacquitmyselftomyself?

Havinginmyformersaidsomuchonthefreedomsyouhavetakenwithmyfriends,Ishallsaythelessnow;butyourhint,thatsomethingelsehasnewlypassedbetweensomeofthemandyou,givesmegreatconcern,andthataswellformyownsakeasfortheirs,sinceitmustnecessarilyincensethemagainstme.Iwise,mydear,thatIhadbeenlefttomyowncourseonanoccasionsoveryinterestingtomyself.But,sincewhatisdonecannotbehelped,Imustabidetheconsequences:yetIdreadmorethanbefore,whatmaybemysister'sanswer,ifananswerwillbeatallvouchsafed.

Willyougivemeleave,mydear,toclosethissubjectwithoneremark?--Itisthis:thatmybelovedfriend,inpointswhereherownlaudable

zealisconcerned,haseverseemedmorereadytoflyfromtherebuke,thanfromthefault.Ifyouwillexcusethisfreedom,Iwillacknowledgethusfarinfavourofyourwayofthinking,astotheconductofsomeparentsinthesenicecases,thatindiscreetoppositiondoesfrequentlyasmuchmischiefasgiddylove.

Astotheinvitationyouaresokindastogiveme,toremoveprivatelyintoyourneighbourhood,IhavetoldMr.HickmanthatIwillconsiderofit;butbelieve,ifyouwillbesogoodastoexcuseme,thatIshallnotacceptofit,evenshouldIbeabletoremove.Iwillgiveyoumyreasonsfordecliningit;andsoIought,whenbothmyloveandmygratitudewouldmakeavisitnow-and-thenfrommydearMissHowethemostconsolatethingintheworldtome.

Youmustknowthen,thatthisgreattown,wickedasitis,wantsnotopportunitiesofbeingbetter;havingdailyprayersatseveralchurchesinit;andIamdesirous,asmystrengthwillpermit,toembracethoseopportunities.ThemethodIhaveproposedtomyself(andwasbeginningtopractisewhenthatcruelarrestdeprivedmeofbothfreedomandstrength)isthis:whenIwasdisposedtogentleexercise,ItookachairtoSt.Dunstan'schurchinFleet-street,whereareprayersatseveninthemorning;Iproposediftheweatherfavoured,towalk(ifnot,totakechair)toLincoln's-innchapel,where,ateleveninthemorning,andat



fiveintheafternoon,arethesamedesirableopportunities;andatothertimestogonofartherthanCovent-gardenchurch,whereareearlymorningprayerslikewise.

Thismethodpursued,Idoubtnot,willgreatlyhelp,asithasalreadydone,tocalmmydisturbedthoughts,andtobringmetothatperfectresignationafterwhichIaspire:forImustown,mydear,thatsometimesstillmygriefsandmyreflectionsaretooheavyforme;andalltheaidIcandrawfromreligiousdutiesishardlysufficienttosupportmystaggeringreason.Iamaveryyoungcreatureyouknow,mydear,tobelefttomyownconductinsuchcircumstancesasIamin.

AnotherreasonwhyIchoosenottogodownintoyourneighbourhood,isthedispleasurethatmightarise,onmyaccount,betweenyourmotherandyou.

Ifindeedyouwereactuallymarried,andtheworthyman(whowouldthenhaveatitletoallyourregard)wereearnestlydesirousofnearneighbourhood,IknownotwhatImightdo:foralthoughImightnotperhapsintendtogiveupmyotherimportantreasonsatthetimeIshouldmakeyouacongratulatoryvisit,yetImightnotknowhowtodenymyselfthepleasureofcontinuingnearyouwhenthere.

Isendyouenclosedthecopyofmylettertomysister.Ihopeitwill

bethoughttobewrittenwithatruepenitentspirit;forindeeditis.IdesirethatyouwillnotthinkIstooptoolowinit;sincetherecanbenosuchthingasthatinachildtoparentswhomshehasunhappilyoffended.

Butifstill(perhapsmoredisgustedthanbeforeatyourfreedomwiththem)theyshouldpassitbywiththecontemptofsilence,(forIhavenotyetbeenfavouredwithananswer,)Imustlearntothinkitrightinthemtodoso;especiallyasitismyfirstdirectapplication:forIhaveoftencensuredtheboldnessofthose,who,applyingforafavour,whichitisinaperson'soptiontograntorrefuse,takethelibertyofbeingoffended,iftheyarenotgratified;asifthepetitionedhadnotasgoodarighttoreject,asthepetitionertoask.

Butifmylettershouldbeanswered,andthatinsuchtermsaswillmakemelothtocommunicateittosowarmafriend--youmustnot,mydear,takeituponyourselftocensuremyrelations;butallowforthemastheyknownotwhatIhavesuffered;asbeingfilledwithjustresentmentsagainstme,(justtothemiftheythinkthemjust;)andasnotbeingabletojudgeoftherealityofmypenitence.

Andafterall,whatcantheydoforme?--Theycanonlypityme:andwhatwillthatbutaugmenttheirowngrief;towhichatpresenttheirresentmentisanalleviation?forcantheybytheirpityrestoretomemylostreputation?Cantheybyitpurchaseaspongethatwillwipeoutfromtheyearthepastfatalfourmonthsofmylife?*

*ShetakesinthetimethatsheappointedtomeetMr.Lovelace.

Youraccountofthegay,unconcernedbehaviourofMr.Lovelace,attheColonel's,doesnotsurprisemeatall,afterIamtoldthathehadtheintrepiditytogothere,knowingwhowereinvitedandexpected.--Onlythis,mydear,Ireallywonderat,thatMissHowecouldimaginethatIcouldhaveathoughtofsuchamanforahusband.



Poorwretch!Ipityhim,toseehimflutteringabout;abusingtalentsthatweregivenhimforexcellentpurposes;takinginconsiderationforcourage;anddancing,fearlessofdanger,ontheedgeofaprecipice!

Butindeedhisthreateningtoseememostsensiblyalarmsandshocksme.IcannotbuthopethatInever,nevermoreshallseehiminthisworld.

Sinceyouaresoloth,mydear,tosendthedesirednegativetotheladiesofhisfamily,IwillonlytroubleyoutotransmittheletterIshallencloseforthatpurpose;directedindeedtoyourself,becauseitwastoyouthatthoseladiesappliedthemselvesonthisoccasion;buttobesentbyyoutoanyoneoftheladies,atyourownchoice.

Icommendmyself,mydearestMissHowe,toyourprayers;andconcludewithrepeatedthanksforsendingMr.Hickmantome;andwithwishesforyourhealthandhappiness,andforthespeedycelebrationofyournuptials;

Youreveraffectionateandobliged,CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERLIMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE[ENCLOSEDINTHEPRECEDING.]THURSDAY,JULY27.

MYDEARESTMISSHOWE,

Sinceyouseemlothtoacquiesceinmydeterminedresolution,signifiedtoyouassoonasIwasabletoholdapen,Ibegthefavourofyou,bythis,orbyanyotherwayyouthinkmostproper,toacquainttheworthyladies,whohaveappliedtoyouinbehalfoftheirrelation,that

althoughIaminfinitelyobligedtotheirgenerousopinionofme,yetIcannotconsenttosanctify,asImaysay,Mr.Lovelace'srepeatedbreachesofallmoralsanctions,andhazardmyfuturehappinessbyaunionwithaman,throughwhosepremeditatedinjuries,inalongtrainofthebasestcontrivances,Ihaveforfeitedmytemporalhopes.

Hehimself,whenhereflectsuponhisownactions,mustsurelybeartestimonytothejusticeaswellasfitnessofmydetermination.Theladies,Idaresay,would,weretheytoknowthewholeofmyunhappystory.

BepleasedtoacquaintthemthatIdeceivemyself,ifmyresolutiononthishead(howeverungratefullyandeveninhumanelyhehastreatedme)be

notowingmoretoprinciplethanpassion.NorcanIgiveastrongerproofofthetruthofthisassurance,onthisoneeasycondition,thathewillnevermolestmemore.

Inwhateverwayyouchoosetomakethisdeclaration,bepleasedtoletmymostrespectfulcomplimentstotheladiesofthatnoblefamily,andtomyLordM.,accompanyit.Anddoyou,mydear,believethatIshallbe,tothelastmomentofmylife,

Youreverobligedandaffectionate



CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERLII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAY,JULY28.

Ihavethreelettersofthinetotakenoticeof:*butamdividedinmymind,whethertoquarrelwiththeeonthyunmercifulreflections,ortothanktheeforthyacceptableparticularityanddiligence.ButseveralofmysweetdearshaveI,indeed,inmytime,madetocryandlaughbeforethecrycouldgoofftheother:WhymayInot,therefore,curseandapplaudtheeinthesamemoment?Sotakebothinone:andwhatfollows,asitshallrisefrommypen.

*LettersXLVI.XLVII.andXLVIII.ofthisvolume.

HowoftenhaveIingenuouslyconfessedmysinsagainstthisexcellentcreature?--Yetthouneversparestme,althoughasbadamanasmyself.

SincethenIgetsolittlebymyconfessions,Ihadagoodmindtotrytodefendmyself;andthatnotonlyfromantientandmodernstory,butfromcommonpractice;andyetavoidrepeatinganythingIhavesuggestedbeforeinmyownbehalf.

Iaminahumourtoplaythefoolwithmypen:brieflythen,fromantientstoryfirst:--DostthounotthinkthatIamasmuchentitledtoforgivenessonMissHarlowe'saccount,asVirgil'sherowasonQueenDido's?Forwhatanungratefulvarletwasthatvagabondtothehospitableprincess,whohadwillinglyconferreduponhimthelastfavour?--Stealingaway,(whence,Isuppose,theironicalphraseoftrustyTrojantothisday,)likeathief--pretendedlyindeedatthecommandofthegods;butcouldthatbe,whentheerrandhewentuponwastorob

otherprinces,notonlyoftheirdominions,butoftheirlives?--Yetthisfellowis,ateveryword,thepiousÃneas,withtheimmortalbardwhocelebrateshim.

ShouldMissHarloweevenbreakherheart,(whichHeavenforbid!)fortheusageshehasreceived,(tosaynothingofherdisappointedpride,towhichherdeathwouldbeattributable,morethantoreason,)whatcomparisonwillherfateholdtoQueenDido's?AndhaveIhalftheobligationtoher,thatÃneashadtotheQueenofCarthage?Thelatterplacingaconfidence,theformernone,inherman?--Then,whomelsehaveIrobbed?WhomelsehaveIinjured?Herbrother'sworthlesslifeIgavehim,insteadoftakinganyman's;whiletheTrojanvagabonddestroyedhisthousands.WhythenshoulditnotbethepiousLovelace,aswellasthe

piousÃneas?For,dostthouthink,hadaconflagrationhappened,andhaditbeeninmypower,thatIwouldnothavesavedmyoldAnchises,(ashedidhisfromtheIlionbonfire,)evenattheexpenseofmyCreÃ¼sa,hadIawifeofthatname?

Butforamoremoderninstanceinmyfavour--HaveIusedMissHarlowe,asourfamousMaidenQueen,asshewascalled,usedoneofherownblood,asister-queen,whothrewherselfintoherprotectionfromherrebel-subjects,andwhomshedetainedprisonereighteenyears,andatlastcutoffherhead?Yetdonothonestprotestantspronounceherpious



too?--AndcallherparticularlytheirQueen?

Astocommonpractice--Who,letmeask,thathasitinhispowertogratifyapredominantpassion,beitwhatitwill,denieshimselfthegratification?--Leavingittocoolerdeliberation,(and,ifhebeagreatman,tohisflatterers,)tofindareasonforitafterwards?

Then,astotheworstpartofmytreatmentofthislady,Howmanymenarethere,who,aswellasI,havesought,byintoxicatingliquors,firsttoinebriate,thentosubdue?Whatsignifieswhatthepotationswere,whenthesameendwasinview?

Letmetellthee,uponthewhole,thatneithertheQueenofCarthage,northeQueenofScots,wouldhavethoughttheyhadanyreasontocomplainofcruelty,hadtheybeenusednoworsethanIhaveusedthequeenofmyheart:AndthendoInotaspirewithmywholesoultorepairbymarriage?WouldthepiousÃneas,thinkestthou,havedonesuchapieceofjusticebyDido,hadshelived?

Come,come,Belford,letpeoplerunawaywithnotionsastheywill,Iamcomparativelyaveryinnocentman.Andifbythese,andotherlikereasonings,Ihavequietedmyownconscience,agreatendisanswered.WhathaveItodowiththeworld?

AndnowIsitmepeaceablydowntoconsiderthyletters.Ihopethypleasinmyfavour,*whenshegavethee,(sogenerouslygavethee,)formemyletters,wereurgedwithanhonestenergy.ButIsuspecttheemuchforbeingtooreadytogiveupthyclient.Thenthouhastsuchamisgivingaspect,anaspectratherinvitingrejectionthancarryingpersuasionwithit;andartsuchanhesitating,suchahummingandhawingcaitiff;thatIshallattributemyfailure,ifIdofail,rathertotheinabilityandilllooksofmyadvocate,thantomycause.Again,thouartdeprivedoftheforcemenofourcastgivetoarguments;forshewon'tlettheeswear!-Art,moreover,averyheavy,thoughtlessfellow;tolerableonlyatasecondrebound;ahorriddunceattheimpromptu.These,encounteringwithsuchalady,aregreat

disadvantages.--Andstillagreateristhybalancing,(asthoudostatpresent,)betweenoldrakeryandnewreformation;sincethisputstheeintothesamesituationwithher,astheytoldme,atLeipsick,MartinLutherwasin,atthefirstpublicdisputewhichheheldindefenceofhissupposednewdoctrineswithEckius.ForMartinwasthenbutalinsey-wolseyreformer.Heretainedsomedogmas,which,bynaturalconsequence,madeothers,thatheheld,untenable.SothatEckius,insomepoints,hadthebetterofhim.But,fromthattime,hemadeclearwork,renouncingallthatstoodinhisway:andthenhisdoctrinesranuponallfours.Hewasneverpuzzledafterwards;andcouldboldlydeclarethathewoulddefendtheminthefaceofangelsandmen;andtohisfriends,whowouldhavedissuadedhimfromventuringtoappearbeforetheEmperorCharlesatSpires,That,werethereasmanydevilsatSpires,

astilesuponthehouses,hewouldgo.AnanswerthatisadmiredbyeveryprotestantSaxontothisday.

*SeeLetterXLVII.ofthisvolume.

Sincethenthyunhappyawkwardnessdestroystheforceofthyarguments,Ithinkthouhadstbetter(forthepresent,however)forbeartourgeheronthesubjectofacceptingthereparationIoffer;lestthecontinual



teasingofhertoforgivemeshouldbutstrengthenherinherdenialsofforgiveness;till,forconsistencysake,she'llbeforcedtoadheretoaresolutionsooftenavowed--Whereas,iflefttoherself,alittletime,andbetterhealth,whichwillbringonbetterspirits,willgiveherquickerresentments;thosequickerresentmentswillleadherintovehemence;thatvehemencewillsubside,andturnintoexpostulationandparley:myfriendswilltheninterpose,andguarantyforme:andallourtroubleonbothsideswillbeover.--Suchisthenaturalcourseofthings.

Icannotenduretheeforthyhopelessnessinthelady'srecovery;*andthatincontradictiontothedoctorandapothecary.

*SeeLetterXLVII.ofthisvolume.

Time,inthewordsofCongreve,thousayest,willgiveincreasetoherafflictions.Butwhyso?Knowestthounotthatthosewords(socontrarytocommonexperience)wereappliedtothecaseofaperson,whilepassionwasinitsfullvigour?--Atsuchatime,everyoneinaheavygriefthinksthesame:butasenthusiastsdobyScripture,sodostthoubythepoetsthouhastread:anythingthatcarriesthemostdistantallusionfromeithertothecaseinhand,isputdownbybothforgospel,however

incongruoustothegeneralscopeofeither,andtothatcase.Soonce,inapulpit,Iheardoneoftheformerveryvehementlydeclarehimselftobeadeaddog;wheneveryman,woman,andchild,wereconvincedtothecontrarybyhishowling.

Icantelltheethat,ifnothingelsewilldo,Iamdetermined,inspiteofthybuskin-airs,andofthyengagementsformetothecontrary,toseehermyself.

FacetofacehaveIknownmanyaquarrelmadeup,whichdistancewouldhavekeptalive,andwidened.ThouwiltbeamadderJackthanheinthetaleofaTub,ifthougivestanactiveoppositiontothisinterview.

Inshort,Icannotbearthethought,thatawomanwhomonceIhadboundtomeinthesilkencordsoflove,shouldslipthroughmyfingers,andbeable,whilemyheartflamesoutwithaviolentpassionforher,todespiseme,andtosetbothloveandmeatdefiance.ThoucanstnotimaginehowmuchIenvythee,andherdoctor,andherapothecary,andeveryonewhoIhearareadmittedtoherpresenceandconversation;andwishtobetheoneortheotherinturn.

Wherefore,ifnothingelsewilldo,Iwillseeher.I'lltelltheeofanadmirableexpedient,justcomecrossme,tosavethypromise,andmyown.

Mrs.Lovick,yousay,isagoodwoman:iftheladybeworse,youshalladvisehertosendforaparsontopraybyher:unknowntoher,unknown

tothelady,unknowntothee,(forsoitmaypass,)Iwillcontrivetobetheman,petticoatedout,andvestedinagownandcassock.Ionce,foracertainpurpose,didassumethecanonicals;andIwasthoughttomakeafinesleekappearance;mybroadrose-boundbeaverbecamememightily;andIwasmuchadmireduponthewholebyallwhosawme.

Methinksitmustbecharminglyapropostoseemekneelingdownbyherbed-side,(IamsureIshallprayheartily,)beginningoutofthecommon-prayerbookthesick-officefortherestorationofthelanguishinglady,andconcludingwithanexhortationtocharityandforgivenessfor



myself.

Iwillconsiderofthismatter.But,inwhatevershapeIshallchoosetoappear,ofthisthoumayestassurethyself,Iwillapprizetheebeforehandofmyvisit,thatthoumaystcontrivetobeoutoftheway,andtoknownothingofthematter.Thiswillsavethyword;and,astomine,canshethinkworseofmethanshedoesatpresent?

Anindispensableoftrueloveandprofoundrespect,inthywiseopinion,*isabsurdityorawkwardness.--'Tissurprisingthatthoushouldstbeoneofthosepartialmortalswhotaketheirmeasuresofrightandwrongfromwhattheyfindthemselvestobe,andcannothelpbeing!--Soawkwardnessisaperfectionintheawkward!--Atthisrate,nomanevercanbeinthewrong.ButIinsistuponit,thatanawkwardfellowwilldoeverythingawkwardly:and,ifhebelikethee,will,whenhehasdonefoolishly,rackhisunmeaningbrainforexcusesasawkwardashisfirstfault.Respectfulloveisaninspirerofactionsworthyofitself;andhewhocannotshowit,wherehemostmeansit,manifeststhatheisanunpoliteroughcreature,aperfectBelford,andhasitnotinhim.

*SeeLetterXLVI.ofthisvolume.

Butherethou'ltthrowoutthatnotablewitticism,thatmyoutsideisthebestofme,thinetheworstofthee;andthat,ifIsetaboutmendingmymind,thouwiltmendthyappearance.

But,pr'ythee,Jack,don'tstayforthat;butsetaboutthyamendmentindresswhenthouleavestoffthymourning;forwhyshouldstthouprepossessinthydisfavourallthosewhoneversawtheebefore?--Itishardtoremoveearly-takenprejudices,whetheroflikingordistaste.Peoplewillhunt,asImaysay,forreasonstoconfirmfirstimpressions,incomplimenttotheirownsagacity:norisiteverymindthathastheingenuousnesstoconfessitselfhalfmistaken,whenitfindsitselftobewrong.Thouthyselfartanadeptinthepretendedscienceofreadingmen;and,wheneverthouartout,wiltstudytofindsomereasonswhyit

wasmoreprobablethatthoushouldsthavebeenright;andwiltwatcheverymotionandaction,andeverywordandsentiment,inthepersonthouhastoncecensured,forproofs,inordertohelptheetoreviveandmaintainthyfirstopinion.And,indeed,asthouseldomerrestonthefavourableside,humannatureissovileathingthatthouartlikelytoberightfivetimesinsixonwhatthoufindestinthineownheart,tohavereasontocomplimentthyselfonthypenetration.

Hereispreachmentforthypreachment:andIhope,ifthoulikestthyown,thouwiltthankmeformine;therather,asthoumayestbethebetterforit,ifthouwilt:sinceitiscalculatedforthyownmeridian.

Well,buttheladyrefersmydestinytothelettershehaswritten,

actuallywritten,toMissHowe;towhomitseemsshehasgivenherreasonswhyshewillnothaveme.Ilongtoknowthecontentsofthisletter:butamingreathopesthatshehassoexpressedherdenials,asshallgiveroomtothinksheonlywantstobepersuadedtothecontrary,inordertoreconcileherselftoherself.

Icouldmakesomeprettyobservationsupononeortwoplacesofthelady'smediation:but,wickedasIamthoughttobe,Ineverwassoabandonedastoturnintoridicule,oreventotreatwithlevity,thingssacred.Ithinkitthehighestdegreeofillmannerstojestuponthose



subjectswhichtheworldingenerallookuponwithveneration,andcalldivine.Iwouldnoteventreatthemythologyoftheheathentoaheathen,withtheridiculethatperhapswouldfairlyliefromsomeoftheabsurditiesthatstrikeeverycommonobserver.Nor,whenatRome,andinotherpopishcountries,didIeverbehaveindecentlyatthoseceremonieswhichIthoughtveryextraordinary:forIsawsomepeopleaffected,andseeminglyedified,bythem;andIcontentedmyselftothink,thoughtheywereanygoodendtothemany,therewasreligionenoughinthem,orcivilpolicyatleast,toexemptthemfromtheridiculeofevenabadmanwhohadcommonsenseandgoodmanners.

ForthelikereasonIhavenevergivennoisyortumultuousinstancesofdisliketoanewplay,ifIthoughtiteversoindifferent:forIconcluded,first,thateveryonewasentitledtoseequietlywhathepaidfor:and,next,asthetheatre(theepitomeoftheworld)consistedofpit,boxes,andgallery,itwashard,Ithought,iftherecouldbesuchaperformanceexhibitedaswouldnotpleasesomebodyinthatmixedmultitude:and,ifitdid,thosesomebodieshadasmuchrighttoenjoytheirownjudgments,undisturbedly,asIhadtoenjoymine.

Thiswasmywayofshowingmydisapprobation;Ineverwentagain.Andasamanisathisoption,whetherhewillgotoaplayornot,hehasnotthesameexcuseforexpressinghisdislikeclamorouslyasifhewerecompelledtoseeit.

Ihaveever,thouknowest,declaredagainstthoseshallowlibertines,whocouldnotmakeouttheirpretensionstowit,butontwosubjects,towhicheverymanoftruewitwillscorntobebeholden:PROFANENESSandOBSCENITY,Imean;whichmustshocktheearsofeverymanorwomanofsense,withoutansweringanyend,butofshowingaverylowandabandonednature.And,tillIcameacquaintedwiththebrutalMowbray,[nogreatpraisetomyselffromsuchatutor,]IwasfarfrommakingsofreeasIdonow,withoathsandcurses;forthenIwasforcedtoout-swearhimsometimesinordertokeephiminhisallegiancetomehisgeneral:nay,Ioftencheckmyselftomyself,forthisemptyunprofitablelibertyofspeech;inwhichweareoutdonebythesonsofthecommon-sewer.

Allmyviceiswomen,andtheloveofplotsandintrigues;andIcannotbutwonderhowIfellintothoseshockingfreedomsofspeech;since,generallyspeaking,theyarefarfromhelpingforwardmymainend:only,now-and-then,indeed,alittlenovicerisestoone'snotice,whoseemstothinkdress,andoaths,andcurses,thediagnosticsoftherakishspiritsheisinclinedtofavour:andindeedtheyaretheonlyqualificationsthatsomewhoarecalledrakesandprettyfellowshavetoboastof.Butwhatmustthewomenbe,whocanbeattractedbysuchempty-souledprofligates!--sincewickednesswithwitishardlytolerable;but,withoutit,isequallyshockingandcontemptible.

Thereagainispreachmentforthypreachment;andthouwiltbeapttothinkthatIamreformingtoo:butnosuchmatter.Ifthiswerenew

lightdartinginuponme,asthymoralityseemstobetothee,somethingofthiskindmightbeapprehended:butthiswasalwaysmywayofthinking;andIdefythee,oranyofthybrethren,tonameatimewhenIhaveeitherridiculedreligion,ortalkedobscenely.Onthecontrary,thouknowesthowoftenIhavecheckedthatbear,inlove-matters,Mowbray,andthefinicalTourville,andthyselftoo,forwhatyehavecalledthedouble-entendre.Inlove,asinpointsthatrequiredamanly-resentment,ithasalwaysbeenmymaxim,toact,ratherthantotalk;andIdoassurethee,astothefirst,thewomenthemselveswillexcusetheonesoonerthantheother.



Astotheadmirationthouexpressestforthebooksofscripture,thouartcertainlyrightinit.But'tisstrangetome,thatthouwertignorantoftheirbeauty,andnoblesimplicity,tillnow.Theirantiquityalwaysmademereverencethem:Andhowwasitpossiblethatthoucouldestnot,forthatreason,iffornoother,givethemaperusal?

I'lltelltheeashortstory,whichIhadfrommytutor,admonishingmeagainstexposingmyselfbyignorantwonder,whenIshouldquitcollege,togototown,ortravel.

'ThefirsttimeDryden'sAlexander'sFeastfellintohishands,hetoldme,hewasprodigiouslycharmedwithit:and,havingneverheardanybodyspeakofitbefore,thought,asthoudostoftheBible,thathehadmadeanewdiscovery.

'Hehastenedtoanappointmentwhichhehadwithseveralwits,(forhewasthenintown,)oneofwhomwasanotedcritic,who,accordingtohim,hadmoremeritthangoodfortune;forallthelittlenibblersinwit,whosewritingswouldnotstandthetestofcriticism,madeit,hesaid,acommoncausetorunhimdown,asmenwouldamaddog.

'Theyounggentleman(foryounghethenwas)setforthmagnificentlyinthepraisesofthatinimitableperformance;andgavehimselfairsof

second-handmerit,forfindingoutitsbeauties.'Theoldbardheardhimoutwithasmile,whichthecollegiantookforapprobation,tillhespoke;andthenitwasinthesemortifyingwords:'Sdeath,Sir,wherehaveyoulivedtillnow,orwithwhatsortofcompanyhaveyouconversed,youngasyouare,thatyouhaveneverbeforeheardofthefinestpieceintheEnglishlanguage?'

Thisstoryhadsuchaneffectuponme,whohadeveraproudheart,andwantedtobethoughtacleverfellow,that,inordertoavoidthelikedisgrace,Ilaiddowntworulestomyself.Thefirst,wheneverIwentintocompanywheretherewerestrangers,toheareveryoneofthemspeak,beforeIgavemyselflibertytoprate:Theother,ifIfoundanyofthem

abovemymatch,togiveupalltitletonewdiscoveries,contentingmyselftopraisewhattheypraised,asbeautiesfamiliartome,thoughIhadneverheardofthembefore.Andso,bydegrees,Igotthereputationofawitmyself:andwhenIthrewoffallrestraint,andbooks,andlearnedconversation,andfellinwithsomeofourbrethrenwhoarenowwanderinginErebus,andwithsuchothersasBelton,Mowbray,Tourville,andthyself,Isetuponmyownstock;and,likewhatwehavebeentoldofSirRichard,inhislatterdays,valuedmyselfonbeingtheemperorofthecompany;for,havingfathomedthedepthofthemall,andafraidofnorivalbutthee,whomalsoIhadgotalittleunder,(bymygaietyandpromptitudeatleast)Iproudly,likeAddison'sCato,delightedtogivelawstomylittlesenate.

Proceedwiththeeby-and-by.

LETTERLIII


ButnowIhaveclearedmyselfofanyintentionallevityonoccasionofmy



beloved'smeditation;which,asyouobserve,isfinelysuitedtohercase,(thatistosay,assheandyouhavedrawnhercase;)Icannothelpexpressingmypleasure,thatbyoneortwoversesofit,[thearrow,Jack,andwhatshefearedbeingcomeuponher!]Iamencouragedtohope,whatitwillbeverysurprisingtomeifitdonothappen:thatis,inplainEnglish,thatthedearcreatureisinthewaytobeamamma.

Thiscursedarrest,becauseoftheilleffectstheterrormighthavehaduponher,inthathoped-forcircumstance,hasconcernedmemorethanonanyotheraccount.Itwouldbetheprideofmylifetoprove,inthischarmingfrost-piece,thetriumphofNatureoverprinciple,andtohaveayoungLovelacebysuchanangel:andthen,foritssake,Iamconfidentshewilllive,andwilllegitimateit.Andwhatameritoriouslittlecherubwoulditbe,thatshouldlayanobligationuponbothparentsbeforeitwasborn,whichneitherofthemwouldbeabletorepay!--CouldIbesureitisso,Ishouldbeoutofallpainforherrecovery:pain,Isay;since,wereshetodie--[die!abominableword!howIhateit!]IverilythinkIshouldbethemostmiserablemanintheworld.

Asfortheearnestnesssheexpressesfordeath,shehasfoundthewordsreadytoherhandinhonestJob;elseshewouldnothavedeliveredherselfwithsuchstrengthandvehemence.

Herinnatepiety(asIhavemorethanonceobserved)willnotpermither

toshortenherownlife,eitherbyviolenceorneglect.Shehasamindtoonobleforthat;andwouldhavedoneitbeforenow,hadshedesignedanysuchthing:fortodoit,liketheRomanmatron,whenthemischiefisover,anditcanservenoend;andwhentheman,howeveraTarquin,assomemaythinkmeinthisaction,isnotaTarquininpower,sothatnonationalpointcanbemadeofit;iswhatshehastoomuchgoodsensetothinkof.

Then,asIobservedinalikecase,alittlewhileago,thedistress,whenthiswaswritten,wasstronguponher;andshesawnoendofit:butallwasdarknessandapprehensionbeforeher.Moreover,hassheitnotinherpowertodisappoint,asmuchasshehasbeendisappointed?Revenge,Jack,hasinducedmanyawomantocherishalife,towhichgrief

anddespairwouldotherwisehaveputanend.

And,afterall,deathisnosucheligiblething,asJobinhiscalamities,makesit.Andadeathdesiredmerelyfromworldlydisappointmentsshowsnotarightmind,letmetellthislady,whatevershemaythinkofit.*YouandIJack,althoughnotafraid,intheheightofpassionorresentment,torushintothosedangerswhichmightbefollowedbyasuddenandviolentdeath,wheneverapointofhonourcallsuponus,wouldshudderathiscoolanddeliberateapproachinalingeringsickness,whichhaddebilitatedthespirits.

*Mr.Lovelacecouldnotknow,thattheladywassothoroughlysensible

ofthesolidityofthisdoctrine,asshereallywas:for,inherlettertoMrs.Norton,(LetterXLIV.ofthisvolume,)shesays,--'Norletitbeimagined,thatmypresentturnofmindproceedsfromgloominessormelancholy:foralthoughitwasbroughtonbydisappointment,(theworldshowingmeearly,evenatmyfirstrushingintoit,itstrueanduglyface,)yetIhope,thatithasobtainedabetterroot,andwilleverydaymoreandmore,byitsfruits,demonstratetome,andtoallmyfriends,thatithas.'



SowereadofafamousFrenchgeneral[Iforgetaswellthereignoftheprinceasthenameoftheman]who,havingfacedwithintrepiditytheghastlyvarletonanhundredoccasionsinthefield,wasthemostdejectedofwretches,when,havingforfeitedhislifefortreason,hewasledwithallthecruelparadeofpreparation,andsurroundingguards,tothescaffold.

Thepoetsayswell:

'Tisnotthestoiclesson,gotbyrote,Thepompofwords,andpedantdissertation,Thatcansupportusinthehourofterror.Bookshavetaughtcowardstotalknoblyofit:Butwhenthetrialcomes,theystart,andstandaghast.

Verytrue:forthenitistheoldmaninthefable,withhisbundleofsticks.

TheladyiswellreadinShakspeare,ourEnglishprideandglory;andmustsometimesreasonwithherselfinhiswords,sogreatlyexpressed,thatthesubject,affectingasitis,cannotproduceanythinggreater.

Ay,buttodie,andgoweknownotwhere;Tolieincoldobstruction,andtorot;

Thissensible,warmmotiontobecomeAkneadedclod;andthedelightedspiritTobatheinfieryfloods,ortoresideInthrillingregionsofthick-ribbedice:Tobeimprison'dintheviewlesswinds,Orblown,withrestlessviolence,aboutThependantworlds;ortobeworsethanworstOfthosethatlawlessanduncertainthoughtImagineshowling:'tistoohorrible!Theweariestandmostloadedworldlylife,Thatpain,age,penury,andimprisonment,Canlayonnature,isaparadiseTowhatwefearofdeath.----

Ifind,byoneofthythreeletters,thatmybelovedhadsomeaccountfromHickmanofmyinterviewwithMissHowe,atCol.Ambrose's.Ihadaveryagreeabletimeofitthere;althoughseverelyralliedbyseveraloftheassembly.Itconcernsme,however,notalittle,tofindouraffairsogenerallyknownamongtheflippantiofbothsexes.Itisallherownfault.Therenever,surely,wassuchanoddlittlesoulasthis.--Nottokeepherownsecret,whentherevealingofitcouldanswernopossiblegoodend;andwhenshewantsnot(onewouldthink)toraisetoherselfeitherpityorfriends,ortomeenemies,bytheproclamation!--Why,Jack,mustnotallherownsexlaughintheirsleevesatherweakness?whatwouldbecomeofthepeaceoftheworld,ifallwomenshouldtakeitintotheirheadstofollowherexample?whatafinetimeofitwouldthe

headsoffamilieshave?Theirwivesalwaysfillingtheirearswiththeirconfessions;theirdaughterswiththeirs:sisterswouldbeeverydaysettingtheirbrothersaboutcuttingofthroats,ifthebrothershadatheartthehonouroftheirfamilies,asitiscalled;andthewholeworldwouldeitherbeasceneofconfusion;orcuckoldomasmuchthefashionasitisinLithuania.*

*InLithuania,thewomenaresaidtohavesoallowedlytheirgallants,calledadjutores,thatthehusbandshardlyeverenteruponanypartof



pleasurewithoutthem.

Iamglad,however,thatMissHowe(asmuchasshehatesme)keptherwordwithmycousinsontheirvisittoher,andwithmeattheColonel's,toendeavourtopersuadeherfriendtomakeupallmattersbymatrimony;which,nodoubt,isthebest,nay,theonlymethodshecantake,forherownhonour,andthatofherfamily.

Ihadoncethoughtsofrevengingmyselfonthatvixen,and,particularly,asthoumayest*remember,hadplannedsomethingtothispurposeonthejourneysheisgoingtotake,whichhadbeentalkedofsometime.But,Ithink--letmesee--yet,Ithink,IwillletthisHickmanhavehersafeandentire,asthoubelievestthefellowtobeatolerablesortofamortal,andthatIhavemadetheworstofhim:andIamglad,forhisownsake,hehasnotlaunchedouttoovirulentlyagainstmetothee.

*SeeVol.IV.LetterLIV.

Butthouseest,Jack,byherrefusalofmoneyfromhim,orMissHowe,*thatthedearextravaganttakesadelightinoddnesses,choosingtopartwithherclothes,thoughforasong.Dostthinksheisnotalittle

touchedattimes?Iamafraidsheis.Alittlespiceofthatinsanity,Idoubt,runsthroughher,thatshehadinastrongerdegree,inthefirstweekofmyoperations.Hercontemptoflife;herproclamations;herrefusalofmatrimony;andnowofmoneyfromhermostintimatefriends;aresprinklingsofthiskind,andnootherway,Ithink,tobeaccountedfor.

*SeeLetterXLVIII.ofthisvolume.

Herapothecaryisagoodhonestfellow.Ilikehimmuch.Butthesillydear'sharpingsocontinuallyupononestring,dying,dying,dying,is

whatIhavenopatiencewith.IhopeallthismelancholyjargonisowingentirelytothewayIwouldhavehertobein.Anditbeingasnewtoher,astheBiblebeautiestothee,*nowondersheknowsnotwhattomakeofherself;andsofanciessheisbreedingdeath,whentheeventwillturnoutquitethecontrary.

*SeeLetterXLVI.ofthisvolume.

Thouartasorryfellowinthyremarksontheeducationandqualificationofsmartsandbeauxoftherakishorder;ifbythywe'sandus'sthoumeanestthyselforme:*forIpretendtosay,thatthepicturehasno

resemblanceofus,whohavereadandconversedaswehavedone.Itmayindeed,andIbelieveitdoes,resemblethegeneralityofthefopsandcoxcombsabouttown.Butthatletthemlookto;for,ifitaffectsnotme,towhatpurposethyrandomshot?--Ifindeedthoufindest,bythenewlightdartedinuponthee,sincethouhasthadthehonourofconversingwiththisadmirablecreature,thatthecapfitsthyownhead,whythen,accordingtothequicapitrule,e'entakeandclapiton:andIwilladdastringofbellstoit,tocompletetheeforthefore-horseoftheidiotteam.



*Ibid.andLetterLXVIII.

AlthoughIjustnowsaidakindthingortwoforthisfellowHickman;yetIcantellthee,Icould(touseoneofmynoblepeer'shumblephrases)eathimupwithoutacornofsalt,whenIthinkofhisimpudencetosalutemycharmertwiceatparting:*Andhavestilllesspatiencewiththeladyherselfforpresumingtoofferhercheekorlip[thousayestnotwhich]tohim,andtopresshisclumsyfistbetweenhercharminghands.Anhonourworthaking'sransom;andwhatIwouldgive--whatwouldInotgive?tohave!--Andthenhe,inreturn,topressher,asthousayesthedid,tohisstupidheart;atthattime,nodoubt,moresensible,thaneveritwasbefore!

*SeeLetterXLVIII.ofthisvolume.

Bythydescriptionoftheirparting,Iseethouwiltbeadelicatefellowintime.Mymortificationinthislady'sdispleasure,willbethyexaltationfromherconversation.Ienvytheeaswellforthyopportunities,asforthyimprovements:andsuchanimpressionhasthyconcludingparagraph*madeuponme,thatIwishIdonotgetintoa

reformation-humouraswellasthou:andthenwhatacoupleoflamentablepuppiesshallwemake,howlinginrecitativetoeachother'sdiscordantmusic!

*Ibid.

Letmeimproveuponthethought,andimaginethat,turnedhermits,wehaveopenedthetwooldcavesatHornsey,ordugnewones;andineachofourcellssetupadeath'shead,andanhour-glass,forobjectsofcontemplation--Ihaveseensuchapicture:butthen,Jack,hadnottheoldpenitentfornicatorasuffocatinglonggreybeard?Whatfigures

wouldacoupleofbrocadedorlaced-waistcoatedtoupetsmakewiththeirsourscrew'duphalf-cock'dfaces,andmorethanhalfshuteyes,inakneelingattitude,recapitulatingtheirrespectiverogueries?Thisscheme,wereweonlytomaketrialofit,andreturnafterwardstoouroldways,mightservetobetterpurposebyfar,thanHorner'sintheCountryWife,tobringtheprettywenchestous.

Letmesee;theauthorofHudibrashassomewhereadescriptionthatwouldsuitus,whenmetinoneofourcaves,andcomparingourdismalnotestogether.Thisisit.Supposemedescribed--

--Hesatuponhisrump,Hisheadlikeoneindolefuldump:

Betwixthiskneeshishandsapply'dUntohischeeks,oneitherside:Andbyhim,inanotherhole,SatstupidBelford,cheekbyjowl.

Iknowthouwiltthinkmetooludicrous.Ithinkmyselfso.Itistruly,tobeingenuous,aforcedput:formypassionsaresowoundup,thatIamobligedeithertolaughorcry.LikehonestdrunkenJackDaventry,[poorfellow!--Whatanunhappyendwashis!]--thouknowest,Iusedtoobserve,thatwheneverherosefromanentertainment,whichhe



neverdidsober,itwashisway,assoonashegottothedoor,tolookroundhimlikeacarrierpigeonjustthrownup,inordertospyouthiscourse;andthen,takingtohisheels,hewouldrunallthewayhome,thoughitwereamileortwo,whenhecouldhardlystand,andmusthavetumbledonhisnoseifhehadattemptedtowalkmoderately.Thisthenmustbemyexcuse,inthismyunconvertedestate,foraconclusionsounworthyoftheconclusiontothythirdletter.

WhatalengthhaveIrun!--Thouwiltown,thatifIpaytheenotinquality,Idoinquantity:andyetIleaveamultitudeofthingsunobservedupon.IndeedIhardlyatthispresentknowwhattodowithmyselfbutscribble.TiredwithLordM.who,inhisrecovery,hasplayeduponmethefableofthenurse,thecryingchild,andthewolf--tiredwithmycousinsMontague,thoughcharminggirls,weretheynotsonearofkin--tiredwithMowbrayandTourville,andtheireverlastingidentity--tiredwiththecountry--tiredofmyself--longingforwhatIhavenot--Imustgototown;andtherehaveaninterviewwiththecharmerofmysoul:fordesperatediseasesmusthavedesperateremedies;andIonlywaittoknowmydoomfromMissHowe!andthen,ifitberejection,Iwilltrymyfate,andreceivemysentenceatherfeet.--ButIwillapprizetheeofitbeforehand,asItoldthee,thatthoumayestkeepthyparolewiththeladyinthebestmannerthoucanst.

LETTERLIV

MISSHOWE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE[INANSWERTOHER'SOFJULY27,SEELETTERSL.LI.OFTHISVOLUME.]FRIDAYNIGHT,JULY28.

Iwillnow,mydearestfriend,writetoyouallmymind,withoutreserve,onyourresolutionnottohavethisvilestofmen.Yougaveme,inyour'sofSundaythe23d,reasonssoworthyofthepuremindofmyClarissa,insupportofthisyourresolution,thatnothingbutself-love,lestIshouldlosemyever-amiablefriend,couldhaveprevaileduponme

towishyoutoalterit.

Indeed,Ithoughtitwasimpossibletherecouldbe(howeverdesirable)sonobleaninstancegivenbyanyofoursex,ofapassionconquered,whenthereweresomanyinducementstogivewaytoit.And,therefore,Iwaswillingtourgeyouoncemoretoovercomeyourjustindignation,andtobeprevaileduponbythesolicitationsofhisfriends,beforeyoucarriedyourresentmentstosogreataheight,thatitwouldbemoredifficultforyou,andlesstoyourhonourtocomply,thanifyouhadcompliedatfirst.

Butnow,mydear,thatIseeyoufixedinyournobleresolution;andthatitisimpossibleforyourpuremindtojoinitselfwiththatofso

perjuredamiscreant;Icongratulateyoumostheartilyuponit;andbegyourpardonforbutseemingtodoubtthattheoryandpracticewerenotthesamethingwithmybelovedClarissa.

Ihaveonlyonethingthatsaddensmyheartonthisoccasion;andthatis,thebadstateofhealthMr.Hickman(unwillingly)ownsyouarein.Hithertoyouhavewellobservedthedoctrineyoualwayslaiddowntome,Thatacursedpersonshouldfirstseektheworld'sopinionofher;and,inallcaseswherethetwocouldnotbereconciled,havepreferredthefirsttothelast;andare,ofconsequence,welljustifiedtoyourown



heart,aswellastoyourAnnaHowe.Letmethereforebeseechyoutoendeavour,byallpossiblemeans,torecoveryourhealthandspirits:andthis,aswhat,ifitcanbeeffected,willcrownthework,andshowtheworld,thatyouwereindeedgotabovethebasewretch;and,thoughputoutofyourcourseforalittlewhile,couldresumeitagain,andgoonblessingallwithinyourknowledge,aswellbyyourexampleasbyyourprecepts.

ForHeaven'ssake,then,fortheworld'ssake,forthehonourofoursex,andformysake,oncemoreIbeseechyou,trytoovercomethisshock:and,ifyoucanovercomeit,IshallthenbeashappyasIwishtobe;forIcannot,indeedIcannot,thinkofpartingwithyou,formany,manyyearstocome.

Thereasonsyougivefordiscouragingmywishestohaveyounearusaresoconvincing,thatIoughtatpresenttoacquiesceinthem:but,mydear,whenyourmindisfullysettled,as,(nowyouaresoabsolutelydeterminedinit,withregardthiswretch,)Ihopeitwillsoonbe,Ishallexpectyouwithus,ornearus:andthenyoushallchalkouteverypaththatIwillsetmyfootin;norwillIturnasideeithertotherighthandortotheleft.

YouwishIhadnotmediatedforyoutoyourfriends.Iwishsotoo;becausemymediationwasineffectual;becauseitmaygivenewgroundfor

themaliceofsomeofthemtoworkupon;andbecauseyouareangrywithmefordoingso.Buthow,asIsaidinmyformer,couldIsitdowninquiet,whenIknewhowuneasytheirimplacablenessmadeyou?--ButIwilltearmyselffromthesubject;forIseeIshallbewarmagain--anddispleaseyou--andthereisnotonethingintheworldthatIwoulddo,howeveragreeabletomyself,ifIthoughtitwoulddisobligeyou;noranyonethatIwouldomittodo,ifIknewitwouldgiveyoupleasure.Andindeed,mydearhalf-severefriend,IwilltryifIcannotavoidthefaultaswillinglyasIwouldtherebuke.

Forthisreason,Iforbearsayinganythingonsoniceasubjectasyourlettertoyoursister.Itmustberight,becauseyouthinkitso--andifitbetakenasitought,thatwillshowyouthatitis.Butifitbeget

insultsandrevilings,asitisbuttoolikely,Ifindyoudon'tintendtoletmeknowit.

Youwerealwayssoreadytoaccuseyourselfforotherpeople'sfaults,andtosuspectyourownconductratherthanthejudgmentofyourrelations,thatIhaveoftentoldyouIcannotimitateyouinthis.Itisnotanecessarypointofbeliefwithme,thatallpeopleinyearsarethereforewise;orthatallyoungpeoplearethereforerashandheadstrong:itmaybegenerallythecase,asfarasIknow:andpossiblyitmaybesointhecaseofmymotherandhergirl:butIwillventuretosaythatithasnotyetappearedtobesobetweentheprincipalsofHarlowe-placeandtheirseconddaughter.

Youareforexcusingthembeforehandfortheirexpectedcruelty,asnotknowingwhatyouhavesuffered,norhowillyouare:theyhaveheardoftheformer,andarenotsorryforit:ofthelattertheyhavebeentold,andIhavemostreasontoknowhowtheyhavetakenit--butIshallbefarfromavoidingthefault,andassurelyshallincurtherebuke,ifIsayanymoreuponthissubject.Iwillthereforeonlyaddatpresent,Thatyourreasoningsintheirbehalfshowyoutobeallexcellence;theirreturnstoyouthattheyareall----Do,mydear,letmeendwithalittlebitofspitefuljustice--butyouwon't,Iknow--soIhavedone,quitedone,howeverreluctantly:yetifyouthinkofthewordIwouldhave



said,don'tdoubtthejusticeofit,andfilluptheblankwithit.

YouintimatethatwereIactuallymarried,andMr.Hickmantodesireit,youwouldthinkofobligingmewithavisitontheoccasion;andthat,perhaps,whenwithme,itwouldbedifficultforyoutoremovefarfromme.

Lord,mydear,whatastressdoyouseemtolayuponMr.Hickman'sdesiringit!--Tobesurehedoesandwouldofallthingsdesiretohaveyounearus,andwithus,ifwemightbesofavoured--policy,aswellasvenerationforyou,wouldundoubtedlymaketheman,ifnotafool,desirethis.Butletmetellyou,thatifMr.Hickman,aftermarriage,shouldpretendtodisputewithmemyfriendships,asIhopeIamnotquiteafool,Ishouldlethimknowhowfarhisownquietwasconcernedinsuchanimpertinence;especiallyiftheyweresuchfriendshipsaswerecontractedbeforeIknewhim.

IknowIalwaysdifferedfromyouonthissubject:foryouthinkmorehighlyofahusband'sprerogativethanmostpeopledooftheroyalone.Thesenotions,mydear,fromapersonofyoursenseandjudgment,arenowayadvantageoustous;inasmuchastheyjustifytheassumingsexintheirinsolence;whenhardlyoneoutoftenofthem,theiropportunitiesconsidered,deservesanyprerogativeatall.Lookthroughallthefamiliesweknow;andweshallnotfindone-thirdofthemhavehalfthe

senseoftheirwives.Andyetthesearetobevestedwithprerogatives!Andawomanoftwicetheirsensehasnothingtodobuthear,tremble,andobey--andforconscience-saketoo,Iwarrant!

ButMr.HickmanandImayperhapshavealittlediscourseuponthesesortsofsubjects,beforeIsufferhimtotalkoftheday:andthenIshalllethimknowwhathehastotrustto;ashewillme,ifhebeasincereman,whathepretendstoexpectfromme.Butletmetellyou,mydear,thatitismoreinyourpowerthan,perhaps,youthinkit,tohastenthedaysomuchpressedforbymymother,aswellaswishedforbyyou--fortheverydaythatyoucanassuremethatyouareinatolerablestateofhealth,andhavedischargedyourdoctorandapothecary,attheirownmotions,onthataccount--somedayinamonthfromthatdesirable

newsshallbeit.So,mydear,makehasteandbewell,andthenthismatterwillbebroughttoeffectinamannermoreagreeabletoyourAnnaHowethanitotherwiseevercan.

Isentthisday,byaparticularhand,totheMissesMontague,yourletterofjustreprobationofthegreatestprofligateinthekingdom;andhopeIshallnothavedoneamissthatItranscribesomeoftheparagraphsofyourletterofthe23d,andsendthemwithit,asyouatfirstintendedshouldbedone.

Youare,itseems,(andthattoomuchforyourhealth,)employedinwriting.Ihopeitisinpenningdowntheparticularsofyourtragicalstory.Andmymotherhasputmeinmindtopressyoutoit,withaview

thatoneday,ifitmightbepublishedunderfeignednames,itwouldbeasmuchuseashonourtothesex.Mymothersaysshecannothelpadmiringyoufortheproprietyofyourresentmentofthewretch;andshewouldbeextremelygladtohaveheradviceofpenningyoursadstorycompliedwith.Andthen,shesays,yournobleconductthroughoutyourtrialsandcalamitieswillaffordnotonlyashiningexampletoyoursex,butatthesametime,(thosecalamitiesbefallingSUCHaperson,)afearfulwarningtotheinconsiderateyoungcreaturesofit.

OnMondayweshallsetoutonourjourney;andIhopetobebackina



fortnight,andonmyreturnwillhaveonepullmorewithmymotherforaLondonjourney:and,ifthepretencemustbethebuyingofclothes,theprincipalmotivewillbethatofseeingoncemoremydearfriend,whileIcansayIhavenotfinallygivenconsenttothechangeofavisiterintoarelation,andsocancallmyselfMYOWN,aswellas

YourANNAHOWE.

LETTERLV

MISSHOWE,TOTHETWOMISSESMONTAGUESAT.JULY29.

DEARLADIES,

Ihavenotbeewantingtouseallmyinterestwithmybelovedfriend,toinducehertoforgiveandbereconciledtoyourkinsman,(thoughhehassoilldeservedit;)andhaveevenrepeatedmyearnestadvicetoheronthishead.Thisrepetition,andthewaitingforheranswer,havingtakenuptime,havebeethecausethatIcouldnotsoonerdomyselfthehonour

ofwritingtoyouonthissubject.Youwillsee,bytheenclosed,herimmovableresolution,groundedonnobleandhigh-souledmotives,whichIcannotbutregretandapplaudatthesametime:applaud,forthejusticeofherdetermination,whichwillconfirmallyourworthyhouseintheopinionyouhadconceivedofherunequalledmerit;andregret,becauseIhavebuttoomuchreasontoapprehend,aswellbythat,asbythereportofagentlemanjustcomefromher,thatsheisinadecliningway,astoherhealth,thatherthoughtsareverydifferentlyemployedthanonacontinuancehere.

Theenclosedlettershethoughtfittosendtomeunsealed,that,afterIhadperusedit,Imightforwardittoyou:andthisisthereasonitis

superscribedbymyself,andsealedwithmyseal.Itisveryfullandperemptory;butasshehadbeenpleased,inalettertome,datedthe23dinstant,(assoonasshecouldholdapen,)togivememoreamplereasonswhyshecouldnotcomplywithyourpressingrequests,aswellasmine,Iwilltranscribesomeofthepassagesinthatletter,whichwillgiveoneofthewickedestmenintheworld,(ifheseesthem,)reasontothinkhimselfoneofthemostunhappy,inthelossofsoincomparableawifeashemighthavegloriedin,hadhenotbeensosuperlativelywicked.Thesearethepassages.

[See,forthesepassages,MissHarlowe'sletter,No.XLI.ofthisvolume,datedJuly23,markedwithaturnedcomma,thus']

Andnow,Ladies,youhavebeforeyoumybelovedfriend'sreasonsforherrefusalofamanunworthyoftherelationhebearstosomanyexcellentpersons:andIwilladd,[forIcannothelpit,]thatthemeritandrankofthepersonconsidered,andthevilemannerofhisproceedings,thereneverwasagreatervillanycommitted:andsinceshethinksherfirstandonlyfaultcannotbeexpiatedbutbydeath,IpraytoGoddaily,andwillhourlyfromthemomentIshallhearofthatsadcatastrophe,thatHewillbepleasedtomakehimthesubjectofHisvengeance,insomesuchway,asthatallwhoknowofhisperfidiouscrime,mayseethehandofHeavenin



thepunishmentofit!

Youwillforgiveme,Ladies:IlovenotmineownsoulbetterthanIdoMissClarissaHarlowe.Andthedistressesshehasgonethrough;thepersecutionshesuffersfromallherfriends;thecursesheliesunder,forhissake,fromherimplacablefather;herreducedhealthandcircumstances,fromhighhealthandaffluence;andthatexecrablearrestandconfinement,whichhavedeepenedallherothercalamities,[andwhichmustbelaidathisdoor,asitwastheactofhisvileagents,that,whetherfromhisimmediateordersornot,naturallyflowedfromhisprecedingbaseness;]thesexdishonouredintheeyeoftheworld,inthepersonofoneofthegreatestornamentsofit;theunmanlymethods,whatevertheywere,[forIknownotallasyet,]bywhichhecompassedherruin;alltheseconsiderationsjointojustifymywarmth,andmyexecrationsofamanwhomIthinkexcludedbyhiscrimesfromthebenefitevenofchristianforgiveness--andwereyoutoseeallshewrites,andtoknowtheadmirabletalentssheismistressof,youyourselveswouldjoinwithmetoadmireher,andexecratehim.

Believemetobe,withahighsenseofyourmerits,

DearLadies,Yourmostobedientandhumbleservant,ANNAHOWE.

LETTERLVI

MRS.NORTON,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEFRIDAY,JULY28.

MYDEARESTYOUNGLADY,

Ihavetheconsolationtotellyouthatmysonisonceagaininahopefulway,astohishealth.Hedesireshisdutytoyou.Heisverylowand

weak.AndsoamI.ButthisisthefirsttimethatIhavebeenable,forseveraldayspast,tosituptowrite,orIwouldnothavebeensolongsilent.

Yourlettertoyoursisterisreceivedandanswered.Youhavetheanswerbythistime,Isuppose.Iwishitmaybetoyoursatisfaction:butamafraiditwillnot:for,byBettyBarnes,Ifindtheywereinagreatfermentonreceivingyour's,andmuchdividedwhetheritshouldbeansweredornot.Theywillnotyetbelievethatyouaresoill,as[tomyinfiniteconcern]Ifindyouare.WhatpassedbetweenMissHarloweandMissHowehasbeen,asIfeareditwouldbe,anaggravation.

IshowedBettytwoorthreepassagesinyourlettertome;andsheseemed

moved,andsaid,Shewouldreportthemfavourably,andwouldprocuremeavisitfromMissHarlowe,ifIwouldpromisetoshowthesametoher.ButIhaveheardnomoreofthat.

Methinks,Iamsorryyourefusethewickedman:butdoubtnot,nevertheless,thatyourmotivesfordoingsoaremorecommendablethanmywishesthatyouwouldnot.Butasyouwouldberesolved,asImaysay,onlife,ifyougavewaytosuchathought;andasIhavesomuchinterestinyourrecovery;Icannotforbearshowingthisregardtomyself;andtoaskyou,Ifyoucannotgetoveryourjustresentments?--



ButIdaresaynomoreonthissubject.

WhatadreadfulthingindeedwasitformydearesttenderyoungladytobearrestedinthestreetsofLondon!--Howdoesmyheartgooveragainandagainforyou,whatyour'smusthavesufferedatthattime!--Yetthis,tosuchamindasyour's,mustbelight,comparedtowhatyouhadsufferedbefore.

OmydearestMissClary,howshallweknowwhattoprayfor,whenwepray,butthatGod'swillmaybedone,andthatwemayberesignedtoit!--Whenatnineyearsold,andafterwardsateleven,youhadadangerousfever,howincessantlydidwegrieve,andpray,andputupourvowstotheThroneofGrace,foryourrecovery!--Forallourliveswereboundupinyourlife--yetnow,mydear,asithasproved,[especiallyifwearesoontoloseyou,]whatamuchmoredesirableevent,bothforyouandforus,wouldithavebeen,hadwethenlostyou!

Asadthingtosay!ButasitisinpurelovetoyouthatIsayit,andinfullconvictionthatwearenotalwaysfittobeourownchoosers,Ihopeitmaybeexcusable;andtherather,asthesamereflectionwillnaturallyleadbothyouandmetoacquiesceunderthedispensation;sinceweareassuredthatnothinghappensbychance;andthegreatestgoodmay,foraughtweknow,beproducedfromtheheaviestevils.

Iamgladyouarewithsuchhonestpeople;andthatyouhaveallyoureffectsrestored.Howdreadfullyhaveyoubeenused,thatoneshouldbegladofsuchapoorpieceofjusticeasthat!

Yourtalentatmovingthepassionsisalwayshintedat;andthisBettyofyoursister'snevercomesnearmethatsheisnotfullofit.But,asyousay,whomhasitmoved,thatyouwishedtomove?Yet,wereitnotforthisunhappynotion,Iamsureyourmotherwouldrelent.Forgiveme,mydearMissClary;forImusttryonewaytobeconvincedifmyopinionbenotjust.ButIwillnottellyouwhatthatis,unlessitsucceeds.Iwilltry,inpuredutyandlovetothem,astoyou.

MayHeavenbeyoursupportinallyourtrials,istheconstantprayer,mydearestyounglady,of

Youreveraffectionatefriendandservant,JUDITHNORTON.

LETTERLVII

MRS.NORTON,TOMRS.HARLOWEFRIDAY,JULY28.

HONOUREDMADAM,

Beingforbid(withoutleave)tosendyouanythingImighthappentoreceivefrommybelovedMissClary,andsoill,thatIcannotattendyoutoaskyourleave,Igiveyouthistrouble,toletyouknowthatIhavereceivedaletterfromher;which,Ithink,Ishouldhereafterbeheldinexcusable,asthingsmayhappen,ifIdidnotdesirepermissiontocommunicatetoyou,andthatassoonaspossible.



ApplicationshavebeenmadetothedearyoungladyfromLordM.,fromthetwoladieshissisters,andfrombothhisnieces,andfromthewickedmanhimself,toforgiveandmarryhim.This,innobleindignationfortheusageshehasreceivedfromhim,shehasabsolutelyrefused.Andperhaps,Madam,ifyouandthehonouredfamilyshouldbeofopinionthattocomplywiththeirwishesisnowtheproperestmeasurethatcanbetaken,thecircumstancesofthingsmayrequireyourauthorityoradvice,toinducehertochangehermind.

Ihavereasontobelievethatonemotiveforherrefusalisherfullconvictionthatsheshallnotlongbeatroubletoanybody;andsoshewouldnotgiveahusbandarighttointerferewithherfamily,inrelationtotheestatehergrandfatherdevisedtoher.Butofthis,however,Ihavenottheleastintimationfromher.Norwouldshe,Idaresay,mentionitasareason,havingstillstrongerreasons,fromhisviletreatmentofher,torefusehim.

TheletterIhavereceivedwillshowhowtrulypenitentthedearcreatureis;and,ifIhaveyourpermission,Iwillsenditsealedup,withacopyofmine,towhichitisananswer.ButasIresolveuponthisstepwithoutherknowledge,[andindeedIdo,]Iwillnotacquaintherwithit,unlessitbeattendedwithdesirableeffects:because,otherwise,besidesmakingmeincurherdispleasure,itmightquitebreakheralreadyhalf-brokenheart.Iam,

HonouredMadam,Yourdutifulandever-obligedservant,JUDITHNORTON.

LETTERLVIII

MRS.HARLOWE,TOMRS.JUDITHNORTONSUNDAY,JULY30.

Weallknowyourvirtuousprudence,worthywoman:wealldo.Butyourpartialitytothisyourrashfavouriteislikewiseknown.Andwearenolessacquaintedwiththeunhappybody'spowerofpaintingherdistressessoastopierceastone.

Everyoneisofopinionthatthedearnaughtycreatureisworkingabouttobeforgivenandreceived:andforthisreasonitisthatBettyhasbeenforbidden,[notbyme,youmaybeassured!]tomentionanymoreofherletters;forshedidspeaktomyBellaofsomemovingpassagesyoureadtoher.

Thiswillconvinceyouthatnothingwillbeheardinherfavour.TowhatpurposethenshouldImentionanythingabouther?--Butyoumaybesure

thatIwill,ifIcanhavebutonesecond.However,thatisnotatalllikely,untilweseewhattheconsequencesofhercrimewillbe:Andwhocantellthat?--Shemay--HowcanIspeakit,andmyoncedarlingdaughterunmarried?--Shemaybewithchild!--Thiswouldperpetuateherstain.Herbrothermaycometosomeharm;whichGodforbid!--Onechild'sruin,Ihope,willnotbefollowedbyanother'smurder!

Astohergrief,andherpresentmisery,whateveritbe,shemustbearwithit;anditmustbeshortofwhatIhourlybearforher!IndeedIamafraidnothingbutherbeingatthelastextremityofallwillmakeher



father,andheruncles,andherotherfriends,forgiveher.

Theeasypardonperversechildrenmeetwith,whentheyhavedonetherashestandmostrebelliousthingtheycando,isthereason(asispleadedtouseveryday)thatsomayfollowtheirexample.Theydependupontheindulgentweaknessoftheirparents'tempers,and,inthatdependence,hardentheirownhearts:andalittlehumiliation,whentheyhavebroughtthemselvesintotheforetoldmisery,istobeasufficientatonementforthegreatestperverseness.

Butforsuchachildasthis[Imentionwhatothershourlysay,butwhatImustsorrowfullysubscribeto]tolayplotsandstratagemstodeceiveherparentsaswellasherself!andtorunawaywithalibertine!Cantherebeanyatonementforhercrime?AndisshenotanswerabletoGod,tous,toyou,andtoalltheworldwhoknewher,fortheabuseofsuchtalentsasshehasabused?

Yousayherheartishalf-broken:Isittobewonderedat?Wasnothersincommittedequallyagainstwarningandthelightofherownknowledge?

Thathewouldnowmarryher,orthatshewouldrefusehim,ifshebelievedhiminearnest,asshehascircumstancedherself,isnotatallprobable;andwereIinclinedtobelieveit,nobodyelseherewould.Hevaluesnothisrelations;andwoulddeceivethemassoonasanyothers:

hisaversiontomarriagehehasalwaysopenlydeclared;andstilloccasionallydeclaresit.But,ifhebenowinearnest,whicheveryonewhoknowshimmustdoubt,whichdoyouthink(hatingustooasheprofessestohateanddespiseusall)wouldbemosteligiblehere,Tohearofherdeath,orofhermarriagetosuchavileman?

Toallofus,yet,Icannotsay!For,OmygoodMrs.Norton,youknowwhatamother'stendernessforthechildofherheartwouldmakeherchoose,notwithstandingallthatchild'sfaults,ratherthanloseherforever!

ButImustsailwiththetide;myownjudgmentalsojoiningwiththegeneralresentment;orIshouldmaketheunhappinessofthemoreworthy

stillgreater,[mydearMr.Harlowe'sparticularly;]whichisalreadymorethanenoughtomakethemunhappyfortheremainderoftheirdays.ThisIknow;ifIweretoopposetherest,oursonwouldflyouttofindthislibertine;andwhocouldtellwhatwouldbetheissueofthatwithsuchamanofviolenceandbloodasthatLovelaceisknowntobe?

AllIcanexpecttoprevailforheris,thatinaweek,orso,Mr.Brandmaybesentuptoinquireprivatelyaboutherpresentstateandwayoflife,andtoseesheisnotaltogetherdestitute:fornothingshewritesherselfwillberegarded.

Herfatherindeedhas,atherearnestrequest,withdrawnthecurse,which,inapassion,helaiduponher,atherfirstwickedflightfrom

us.ButMissHowe,[itisasadthing,Mrs.Norton,tosuffersomanywaysatonce,]hadmadematterssodifficultbyherunduelibertieswithusall,aswellbyspeechinallcompanies,asbyletterswrittentomyBella,thatwecouldhardlyprevailuponhimtohearherletterread.

TheselibertiesofMissHowewithus;thegeneralcryagainstusabroadwhereverwearespokenof;andthevisible,andnotseldomaudible,disrespectfulness,whichhighandlowtreatuswithtoourfaces,aswegotoandfromchurch,andevenatchurch,(fornowhereelsehavewethehearttogo,)asifnoneofushadbeenregardedbutuponheraccount;



andasifshewereinnocent,weallinfault;areconstantaggravations,youmustneedsthink,tothewholefamily.

Shehasmademylotheavy,Iamsure,thatwasfarfrombeinglightbefore!--Totellyoutruth,Iamenjoinednottoreceiveanythingofher's,fromanyhand,withoutleave.ShouldIthereforegratifymyyearningsafterher,sofarastoreceiveprivatelytheletteryoumention,whatwouldthecasebe,buttotormentmyself,withoutbeingabletodohergood?--Andwereittobeknown--Mr.Harloweissopassionate--Andshoulditthrowhisgoutintohisstomach,asherrashflightdid--Indeed,indeed,Iamveryunhappy!--For,Omygoodwoman,sheismychildstill!--Butunlessitweremoreinmypower--YetdoIlongtoseetheletter--yousayittellsofherpresentwayandcircumstances.Thepoorchild,whooughttobeinpossessionofthousands!--Andwill!--Forherfatherwillbeafaithfulstewardforher.--Butitmustbeinhisownway,andathisowntime.

Andisshereallyill?--soveryill?--Butsheoughttosorrow--shehasgivenadoublemeasureofit.

Butdoesshereallybelievesheshallnotlongtroubleus?--But,OmyNorton!--Shemust,shewill,longtroubleus--Forcanshethinkherdeath,ifweshouldbedeprivedofher,willputanendtoourafflictions?--Canitbethoughtthatthefallofsuchachildwillnot

beregrettedbyustothelasthourofourlives?But,intheletteryouhave,doesshe,withoutreserve,expresshercontrition?Hassheinitnoreflectinghints?Doesshenotaimatextenuations?--IfIweretoseeit,willitnotshockmesomuch,thatmyapparentgriefmayexposemetoharshnesses?--Canitbecontrived--

Buttowhatpurpose?--Don'tsendit--Ichargeyoudon't--Idarenotseeit--

Yet--

Butalas!--

Oh!forgivethealmostdistractedmother!Youcan.--Youknowhowtoallowforallthis--soIwillletitgo.--Iwillnotwriteoveragainthispartofmyletter.

ButIchoosenottoknowmoreofherthaniscommunicatedtousall--nomorethanIdareownIhaveseen--andwhatsomeofthemmayrathercommunicatetome,thanreceivefromme:andthisforthesakeofmyoutwardquiet:althoughmyinwardpeacesuffersmoreandmorebythecompelledreserve.

***

Iwasforcedtobreakoff.ButIwillnowtrytoconcludemylongletter.

Iamsorryyouareill.Butifyouwerewell,Icouldnot,foryourownsake,wishyoutogoup,asBettytellsusyoulongtodo.Ifyouwent,nothingwouldbemindedthatcamefromyou.Astheyalreadythinkyoutoopartialinherfavour,yourgoingupwouldconfirmit,anddoyourselfprejudice,andhernogood.Andaseverybodyvaluesyouhere,



Iadviseyounottointerestyourselftoowarmlyinherfavour,especiallybeforemyBella'sBetty,tillIcanletyouknowapropertime.Yettoforbidyoutolovethedearnaughtycreature,whocan?OmyNorton!youmustloveher!--AndsomustI!

Isendyoufiveguineas,tohelpyouinyourpresentillness,andyourson's;foritmusthavelainheavyuponyou.Whatasad,sadthing,mydeargoodwoman,thatallyourpains,andallmypains,foreighteenornineteenyearstogether,have,insofewmonths,beenrenderedthusdeplorablyvain!YetImustbealwaysyourfriend,andpityyou,fortheveryreasonthatImyselfdeserveeveryone'spity.

PerhapsImayfindanopportunitytopayyouavisit,asinyourillness;andthenmayweepovertheletteryoumentionwithyou.But,forthefuture,writenothingtomeaboutthepoorgirlthatyouthinkmaynotbecommunicatedtousall.

AndIchargeyou,asyouvaluemyfriendship,asyouwishmypeace,nottosayanythingofaletteryouhavefromme,eithertothenaughtyone,ortoanybodyelse.Itwaswithsomelittlerelief(theoccasiongiven)towritetoyou,whomust,insoparticularamanner,sharemyaffliction.Amother,Mrs.Norton,cannotforgetherchild,thoughthatchildcouldabandonhermother;and,insodoing,runawaywithallhermother'scomforts!--AsItrulysayisthecaseof

Yourunhappyfriend,CHARLOTTEHARLOWE.

LETTERLIX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMRS.JUDITHNORTONSAT.JULY29.

Icongratulateyou,mydearMrs.Norton,withallmyheart,onyourson's

recovery;whichIpraytoGod,withallyourownhealth,toperfect.

Iwriteinsomehurry,beingapprehensiveofthesequenceofthehintsyougiveofsomemethodyouproposetotryinmyfavour[withmyrelations,Ipresume,youmean]:butyouwillnottellmewhat,yousay,ifitproveunsuccessful.

NowImustbegofyouthatyouwillnottakeanystepinmyfavour,withwhichyoudonotfirstacquaintme.

Ihavebutonerequesttomaketothem,besideswhatiscontainedinmylettertomysister;andIwouldnot,methinks,forthesakeoftheirownfuturepeaceofmind,thattheyshouldbeteasedsobyyourwell-meant

kindness,andthatofMissHowe,astobeputupondenyingmethat.AndwhyshouldmorebeaskedformethanIcanpartakeof?Morethanisabsolutelynecessaryformyownpeace?

YousupposeIshouldhavemysister'sanswertomyletterbythetimeyour'sreachedmyhand.Ihaveit:andasevereone,averysevereone,itis.Yet,consideringmyfaultintheireyes,andtheprovocationsIamtosupposetheysonewlyhadfrommydearMissHowe,Iamtolookuponitasafavourthatitwasansweredatall.Iwillsendyouacopyofitsoon;asalsoofmine,towhichitisananswer.



Ihavereasontobeverythankfulthatmyfatherhaswithdrawnthatheavymalediction,whichaffectedmesomuch--Aparent'scurse,mydearMrs.Norton!Whatchildcoulddieinpeaceunderaparent'scurse?soliterallyfulfilledtooasthishasbeeninwhatrelatestothislife!

Myheartistoofulltotouchupontheparticularsofmysister'sletter.Icanmakebutoneatonementformyfault.Maythatbeaccepted!Andmayitsoonbeforgotten,byeverydearrelation,thattherewassuchanunhappydaughter,sister,orniece,asClarissaHarlowe!

MycousinMordenwasoneofthosewhowassoearnestinprayerformyrecovery,atnineandelevenyearsofage,asyoumention.MysisterthinkshewillbeoneofthosewhowishIneverhadhadabeing.Butpray,whenhedoescome,letmehearofitwiththefirst.

Youthinkthat,wereitnotforthatunhappynotionofmymovingtalent,mymotherwouldrelent.WhatwouldIgivetoseeheroncemore,and,althoughunknowntoher,tokissbutthehemofhergarment!

CouldIhavethoughtthatthelasttimeIsawherwouldhavebeenthelast,withwhatdifficultyshouldIhavebeentornfromherembracedfeet!--Andwhen,screenedbehindtheyew-hedgeonthe5thofAprillast,*Isawmyfather,andmyuncleAntony,andmybrotherandsister,how

littledidIthinkthatthatwouldbethelasttimeIshouldeverseethem;and,insoshortaspace,thatsomanydreadfulevilswouldbefalme!

*SeeVol.II.LetterXXXVI.

ButIcanwritenothingbutwhatmustgiveyoutrouble.Iwilltherefore,afterrepeatingmydesirethatyouwillnotintercedeformebutwithmypreviousconsent,concludewiththeassurance,thatIam,andeverwillbe,

YourmostaffectionateanddutifulCLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERLX

MISSAR.HARLOWE,TOMISSCL.HARLOWE[INANSWERTOHER'SOFFRIDAY,JULY21,LETTERXLV.OFTHISVOLUME.]THURSDAY,JULY27.

OMYUNHAPPYLOSTSISTER!

Whatamiserablehandhaveyoumadeofyourromanticandgiddyexpedition!--Ipityyouatmyheart.

Youmaywellgrieveandrepent!--Lovelacehasleftyou!--Inwhatwayorcircumstancesyouknowbest.

Iwishyourconducthadmadeyourcasemorepitiable.But'tisyourownseeking!



Godhelpyou!--Foryouhavenotafriendwilllookuponyou!--Poor,wicked,undonecreature!--Fallen,asyouare,againstwarning,againstexpostulation,againstduty!

Butitsignifiesnothingtoreproachyou.Iweepoveryou.

Mypoormother!--Yourrashnessandfollyhavemadehermoremiserablethanyoucanbe.--Yetshehasbesoughtmyfathertograntyourrequest.

Myunclesjoinedwithher:fortheythoughttherewasalittlemoremodestyinyourletterthaninthelettersofyourpertadvocate:andmyfatherispleasedtogivemeleavetowrite;butonlythesewordsforhim,andnomore:'Thathewithdrawsthecursehelaiduponyou,atthefirsthearingofyourwickedflight,sofarasitisinhispowertodoit;andhopesthatyourpresentpunishmentmaybeallthatyouwillmeetwith.Fortherest,hewillneverownyou,norforgiveyou;andgrieveshehassuchadaughterintheworld.'

Allthis,andmoreyouhavedeservedfromhim,andfromallofus:Butwhathaveyoudonetothisabandonedlibertine,todeservewhatyouhavemetwithathishands?--Ifear,Ifear,Sister!--Butnomore!--Ablessedfourmonths'workhaveyoumadeofit.

MybrotherisnowatEdinburgh,sentthitherbymyfather,[thoughhe

knowsnotthistobethemotive,]thathemaynotmeetyourtriumphantdeluder.

Wearetoldhewouldbegladtomarryyou:Butwhy,then,didheabandonyou?Hehadkeptyoutillhewastiredofyou,noquestion;anditisnotlikelyhewouldwishtohaveyoubutuponthetermsyouhavealreadywithoutalldoubtbeenhis.

YououghttoadviseyourfriendMissHowetoconcernherselflessinyourmattersthanshedoes,exceptshecoulddoitwithmoredecency.Shehaswrittenthreeletterstome:veryinsolentones.Yourfavourer,poorMrs.Norton,thinksyouknownothingofthepertcreature'swriting.Ihopeyoudon't.Butthenthemoreimpertinentthewriter.But,

believingthefondwoman,Isatdownthemorereadilytoansweryourletter;andIwritewithlessseverity,Icantellyou,thanotherwiseIshouldhavedone,ifIhadanswereditall.

Mondaylastwasyourbirth-day.Think,poorungratefulwretch,asyouare!howweallusedtokeepit;andyouwillnotwondertobetold,thatweranawayfromoneanotherthatday.ButGodgiveyoutruepenitence,ifyouhaveitnotalready!anditwillbetrue,ifitbeequaltotheshameandthesorrowyouhavegivenusall.

Yourafflictedsister,ARABELLAHARLOWE.

YourcousinMordeniseverydayexpectedinEngland.He,aswellasothersofthefamily,whenhecomestohearwhatablessedpieceofworkyouhavemadeofit,willwishyouneverhadhadabeing.

LETTERLXI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHOWE



SUNDAY,JULY30.

Youhavegivenmegreatpleasure,mydearestfriend,byyourapprobationofmyreasonings,andofmyresolutionfoundeduponthem,nevertohaveMr.Lovelace.Thisapprobationissorightathing,givemeleavetosay,fromthenatureofthecase,andfromthestricthonourandtruedignityofmind,whichIalwaysadmiredinmyAnnaHowe,thatIcouldhardlytelltowhat,buttomyevildestiny,whichoflatewouldnotletmepleaseanybody,toattributetheadviceyougavemetothecontrary.

Butletnottheillstateofmyhealth,andwhatthatmaynaturallytendto,saddenyou.Ihavetoldyou,thatIwillnotrunawayfromlife,noravoidthemeansthatmaycontinueit,ifGodseefit:andifHedonot,whoshallrepineatHiswill!

IfitshallbefoundthatIhavenotactedunworthyofyourlove,andofmyowncharacter,inmygreatertrials,thatwillbeahappinesstobothonreflection.

Theshockwhichyousoearnestlyadvisemetotrytogetabove,wasashock,thegreatestthatIcouldreceive.But,mydear,asitwasnotoccasionedbymyfault,IhopeIamalreadygotaboveit.IhopeIam.

Iammoregrieved(attimeshowever)forothers,thanformyself.AndsoIought.Forastomyself,IcannotbutreflectthatIhavehadanescape,ratherthanaloss,inmissingMr.Lovelaceforahusband--evenhadhenotcommittedthevilestofalloutrages.

Letanyone,whoknowsmystory,collecthischaracterfromhisbehaviourtomebeforethatoutrage;andthenjudgewhetheritwasintheleastprobablethatsuchamanshouldmakemehappy.Buttocollecthischaracterfromhisprincipleswithregardtothesexingeneral,andfromhisenterprizesuponmanyofthem,andtoconsiderthecrueltyofhisnature,andthesportivenessofhisinvention,togetherwiththehighopinionhehasofhimself,itwillnotbedoubtedthatawifeofhismusthavebeenmiserable;andmoremiserableifshelovedhim,thanshecould

havebeenwereshetobeindifferenttohim.

Atwelvemonthmightveryprobablyhaveputaperiodtomylife;situatedasIwaswithmyfriends;persecutedandharassedasIhadbeenbymybrotherandsister;andmyveryhearttorninpiecesbythewilful,and(asitisnowapparent)premeditatedsuspensesoftheman,whosegratitudeIwishedtoengage,andwhoseprotectionIwasthemoreentitledtoexpect,ashehadrobbedmeofeveryother,andreducedmetoanabsolutedependenceuponhimself.IndeedIoncethoughtthatitwasallhisviewtobringmetothis,(ashehatedmyfamily;)anduncomfortableenoughforme,ifithadbeenall.

Canitbethought,mydear,thatmyheartwasnotmorethanhalfbroken

(happyasIwasbeforeIknewMr.Lovelace)byagrievouschangeinmycircumstances?--Indeeditwas.Norperhapswasthewickedviolencewantingtohavecutshort,thoughpossiblynotsoveryshort,alifethathehassportedwith.

HadIbeenhisbutamonth,hemusthavepossessedtheestateonwhichmyrelationshadsettheirhearts;themoretotheirregret,astheyhatedhimasmuchashehatedthem.

HaveInotreason,thesethingsconsidered,tothinkmyselfhappier



withoutMr.LovelacethanIcouldhavebeenwithhim?--Mywilltoounviolated;andverylittle,nay,notanythingastohim,toreproachmyselfwith?

Butwithmyrelationsitisotherwise.Theyindeeddeservetobepitied.Theyare,andnodoubtwilllongbe,unhappy.

Tojudgeoftheirresentments,andoftheirconduct,wemustputourselvesintheirsituation:--andwhiletheythinkmemoreinfaultthanthemselves,(whethermyfavourersareoftheiropinion,ornot,)andhavearighttojudgeforthemselves,theyoughttohavegreatallowancesmadeforthem;myparentsespecially.Theystandatleastself-acquitted,(thatIcannot;)andtherather,astheycanrecollect,totheirpain,theirpastindulgenciestome,andtheirunquestionablelove.

Yourpartialityforthefriendyousomuchvaluewillnoteasilyletyoucomeintothiswayofthinking.Butonly,mydear,bepleasedtoconsiderthematterinthefollowinglight.

'HerewasmyMOTHER,oneofthemostprudentpersonsofhersex,marriedintoafamily,notperhapssohappilytemperedasherself;buteveryoneofwhichshehadtheaddress,foragreatwhile,absolutelytogovernasshepleasedbyherdirectingwisdom,atthesametimethattheyknewnotbutherprescriptionswerethedictatesoftheirownhearts;suchasweet

hearthadsheofconqueringbyseemingtoyield.Think,mydear,whatmustbetheprideandthepleasureofsuchamother,thatinmybrothershecouldgiveasontothefamilyshedistinguishedwithherlove,notunworthyoftheirwishes;adaughter,inmysister,ofwhomshehadnoreasontobeashamed;andinmeaseconddaughter,whomeverybodycomplimented(suchwastheirpartialfavourtome)asbeingthestillmoreimmediatelikenessofherself?How,selfpleased,couldshesmilerounduponafamilyshehadsoblessed!Whatcomplimentswerepaidherupontheexampleshehadgivenus,whichwasfollowedwithsuchhopefuleffects!WithwhatanobleconfidencecouldshelookuponherdearMr.Harlowe,asapersonmadehappybyher;andbedelightedtothinkthatnothingbutpuritystreamedfromafountainsopure!

'Now,mydear,reverse,asIdailydo,thischarmingprospect.Seemydearmother,sorrowinginhercloset;endeavouringtosuppresshersorrowathertable,andinthoseretirementswheresorrowwasbeforeastranger:hangingdownherpensivehead:smilesnomorebeamingoverherbenignaspect:hervirtuemadetosufferforfaultsshecouldnotbeguiltyof:herpatiencecontinuallytried(becauseshehasmoreofitthananyother)withrepetitionsoffaultssheisasmuchwoundedby,asthosecanbefromwhomshesooftenhearsofthem:takingtoherself,asthefountain-head,ataintwhichonlyhadinfectedoneoftheunder-currents:afraidtoopenherlips(wereshewilling)inmyfavour,lestitshouldbethoughtshehasanybiasinherownmindtofailingsthatnevercouldhavebeensuspectedinher:robbedofthatpleasingmerit,whichthemotherofwell-nurturedandhopefulchildrenmayglory

in:everyonewhovisitsher,orisvisitedbyher,bydumbshow,andlooksthatmeanmorethanwordscanexpress,condolingwheretheyusedtocongratulate:theaffectedsilencewounding:thecompassionatinglookreminding:thehalf-suppressedsighinthem,callingupdeepersighsfromher;andtheiravertedeyes,whiletheyendeavourtorestraintherisingtear,provokingtearsfromher,thatwillnotberestrained.

'WhenIconsiderthesethings,and,addedtothese,thepangsthattearinpiecesthestrongerheartofmyFATHER,becauseitcannotrelieveitselfbythosewhichcarrythetorturinggrieftotheeyesofsofter



spirits:theoverboilingtumultsofmyimpatientanduncontroulableBROTHER,piquedtotheheartofhishonour,inthefallofasister,inwhomheoncegloried:theprideofanELDERSISTER,whohadgivenunwillingwaytothehonourspaidoverherheadtoonebornafterher:and,lastly,thedishonourIhavebroughtupontwoUNCLES,whoeachcontendedwhichshouldmostfavourtheirthenhappyniece:--When,Isay,Ireflectuponmyfaultinthesestrong,yetjustlights,whatroomcantherebetocensureanybodybutmyunhappyself?andhowmuchreasonhaveItosay,IfIjustifymyself,mineownheartshallcondemnme:ifIsayIamperfect,itshallalsoprovemeperverse?'

Herepermitmetolaydownmypenforafewmoments.

***

Youareveryobligingtome,intentionally,Iknow,whenyoutellme,itisinmypowertohastenthedayofMr.Hickman'shappiness.Butyet,givemeleavetosay,thatIadmirethiskindassurancelessthananyotherparagraphofyourletter.

InthefirstplaceyouknowitisnotinmypowertosaywhenIcandismissmyphysician;andyoushouldnotputthecelebrationofa

marriageintendedbyyourself,andsodesirabletoyourmother,uponsoprecariousanissue.NorwillIacceptofacompliment,whichmustmeanaslighttoher.

Ifanythingcouldgivemearelishforlife,afterwhatIhavesuffered,itwouldbethehopesofthecontinuanceofthemorethansisterlylove,whichhas,foryears,uninterruptedlyboundustogetherasonemind.--Andwhy,mydear,shouldyoudefergiving(byatiestillstronger)anotherfriendtoonewhohassofew?

IamgladyouhavesentmylettertoMissMontague.IhopeIshallhearnomoreofthisunhappyman.

Ihadbeguntheparticularsofmytragicalstory:butitissopainfulatask,andIhavesomanymoreimportantthingstodo,and,asIapprehend,solittletimetodothemin,that,couldIavoidit,Iwouldgonofartherinit.

Then,tothishour,Iknownotbywhatmeansseveralofhismachinationstoruinmewerebroughtabout;sothatsomematerialpartsofmysadstorymustbedefective,ifIweretositdowntowriteit.ButIhavebeenthinkingofawaythatwillanswertheendwishedforbyyourmotherandyoufullaswell,perhapsbetter.

Mr.Lovelace,itseems,hadcommunicatedtohisfriendMr.Belfordallthathaspassedbetweenhimselfandme,ashewenton.Mr.Belfordhas

notbeenabletodenyit.Sothat(aswemayobservebytheway)apooryoungcreature,whoseindiscretionhasgivenalibertinepoweroverher,hasareasonshelittlethinksof,toregretherfolly;sincethesewretches,whohavenomorehonourinonepointthaninanother,scruplenottomakeherweaknessapartoftheirtriumphtotheirbrotherlibertines.

Ihavenothingtoapprehendofthissort,ifIhavethejusticedonemeinhisletterswhichMr.BelfordassuresmeIhave:andthereforetheparticularsofmystory,andthebaseartsofthisvileman,will,I



think,bebestcollectedfromthoseverylettersofhis,(ifMr.Belfordcanbeprevailedupontocommunicatethem;)towhichIdareappealwiththesametruthandfervourashedid,whosays--Othatonewouldhearme!andthatmineadversaryhadwrittenabook!--Surely,Iwouldtakeituponmyshoulders,andbindittomeasacrown!forIcoverednotmytransgressionsasAdam,byhidingmineiniquityinmybosom.

ThereisonewaywhichmaybefallenupontoinduceMr.Belfordtocommunicatetheseletters;sinceheseemstohave(anddeclareshealwayshad)asincereabhorrenceofhisfriend'sbasenesstome:butthat,you'llsay,whenyouhearit,isastrangeone.Nevertheless,Iamveryearnestuponitatpresent.

Itisnootherthanthis:

IthinktomakeMr.Belfordtheexecutorofmylastwill:[don'tbesurprised:]andwiththisviewIpermithisvisitswiththelessscruple:andeverytimeIseehim,fromhisconcernforme,ammoreandmoreinclinedtodoso.IfIholdinthesamemind,andifheacceptthetrust,andwillcommunicatethematerialsinhispower,those,joinedwithwhatyoucanfurnish,willanswerthewholeend.

Iknowyouwillstartatmynotionofsuchanexecutor;butpray,mydear,consider,inmypresentcircumstances,whatIcandobetter,asI

amempoweredtomakeawill,andhaveconsiderablemattersinmyowndisposal.

Yourmother,Iamsure,wouldnotconsentthatyoushouldtakethisofficeuponyou.ItmightsubjectMr.Hickmantotheinsultsofthatviolentman.Mrs.Nortoncannot,forseveralreasonsrespectingherself.MybrotherlooksuponwhatIoughttohaveashisright.MyuncleHarloweisalreadyoneofmytrustees(asmycousinMordenistheother)fortheestatemygrandfatherleftme:butyouseeIcouldnotgetfrommyownfamilythefewguineasIleftbehindmeatHarlowe-place;andmyuncleAntonyoncethreatenedtohavemygrandfather'swillcontroverted.Myfather!--Tobesure,mydear,IcouldnotexpectthatmyfatherwoulddoallIwishshouldbedone:andawilltobeexecutedbyafatherfora

daughter,(partsofit,perhaps,absolutelyagainsthisownjudgment,)carriessomewhatdaringandprescriptiveintheveryword.

IfindeedmycousinMordenweretocomeintime,andwouldundertakethistrust--butevenhimitmightsubjecttohazards;andthemore,asheisamanofgreatspirit;andastheotherman(ofasgreat)looksuponme(unprotectedasIhavelongbeen)ashisproperty.

NowMr.Belford,asIhavealreadymentioned,knowseverythingthathaspassed.Heisamanofspirit,and,itseems,asfearlessastheother,withmorehumanequalities.Youdon'tknow,mydear,whatinstancesofsincerehumanitythisMr.Belfordhasshown,notonlyonoccasionofthecruelarrest,butonseveraloccasionssince.AndMrs.Lovickhastaken

painstoinquireafterhisgeneralcharacter;andhearsaverygoodoneofhim,hisjusticeandgenerosityinallhisconcernsofmeumandtuum,astheyarecalled:hehasaknowledgeoflaw-matters;andhastwoexecutorshipsuponhimatthistime,inthedischargeofwhichhishonourisunquestioned.

Allthesereasonshavealreadyinamannerdeterminedmetoaskthisfavourofhim;althoughitwillhaveanoddsoundwithittomakeanintimatefriendofMr.Lovelacemyexecutor.



Thisiscertain:mybrotherwillbemoreacquiescentagreatdealinsuchacasewiththearticlesofthewill,ashewillseethatitwillbetonopurposetocontrovertsomeofthem,whichelse,Idaresay,hewouldcontrovert,orpersuademyotherfriendstodoso.Andwhowouldinvolveanexecutorinalaw-suit,iftheycouldhelpit?--Whichwouldbethecase,ifanybodywereleft,whommybrothercouldhopetoaweorcontroul;sincemyfatherhaspossessionofall,andisabsolutelygovernedbyhim.[Angryspirits,mydear,asIhaveoftenseen,willbeovercomebymoreangryones,aswellassometimesbedisarmedbythemeek.]--NorwouldIwish,youmaybelieve,tohaveeffectstornoutofmyfather'shands:whileMr.Belford,whoisamanoffortune,(andagoodeconomistinhisownaffairs)wouldhavenointerestbuttodojustice.

Thenheexceedinglypressesforsomeoccasiontoshowhisreadinesstoserveme:andhewouldbeabletomanagehisviolentfriend,overwhomhehasmoreinfluencethananyotherperson.

Butafterall,Iknownotifitwerenotmoreeligiblebyfar,thatmystory,andmyselftoo,shouldbeforgottenassoonaspossible.AndofthisIshallhavethelessdoubt,ifthecharacterofmyparents[youwillforgivemy,mydear]cannotbeguardedagainsttheunqualifiedbitternesswhich,fromyouraffectionatezealforme,hassometimesmingledwithyourink--apointthatought,and(Iinsistuponit)mustbewellconsideredof,ifanythingbedonewhichyourmotherandyouare

desiroustohavedone.Thegeneralityoftheworldistooapttoopposeaduty--andgeneralduties,mydear,oughtnottobeweakenedbythejustificationofasingleperson,howeverunhappilycircumstanced.

Myfatherhasbeensogoodastotakeofftheheavymaledictionhelaidmeunder.Imustbenowsolicitousforalastblessing;andthatisallIshallpresumetopetitionfor.Mysister'sletter,communicatingthisgrace,isasevereone:butasshewritestomeasfromeverybody,howcouldIexpectittobeotherwise?

Ifyousetoutto-morrow,thislettercannotreachyoutillyougettoyourauntHarman's.Ishallthereforedirectitthither,asMr.Hickmaninstructedme.

Ihopeyouwillhavemetwithnoinconvenienciesinyourlittlejourneyandvoyage;andthatyouwillhavefoundingoodhealthallwhomyouwishtoseewell.

Ifyourrelationsinthelittleislandjointheirsolicitationswithyourmother'scommands,tohaveyournuptialscelebratedbeforeyouleavethem,letmebegofyou,mydear,toobligethem.Howgratefulwillthenotificationthatyouhavedonesobeto

YoureverfaithfulandaffectionateCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERLXII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSHARLOWESATURDAY,JULY29.

Irepinenot,mydearSister,attheseverityyouhavebeenpleasedtoexpressintheletteryoufavouredmewith;becausethatseveritywas



accompaniedwiththegraceIhadpetitionedfor;andbecausethereproachesofmineownheartarestrongerthananyotherperson'sreproachescanbe:andyetIamnothalfsoculpableasIamimaginedtobe:aswouldbeallowed,ifallthecircumstancesofmyunhappystorywereknown:andwhichIshallbereadytocommunicatetoMrs.Norton,ifshebecommissionedtoinquireintothem;ortoyou,mySister,ifyoucanhavepatiencetohearthem.

Irememberedwithableedingheartwhatdaythe24thofJulywas.Ibeganwiththeeveofit;andIpassedthedayitself--asitwasfitIshouldpassit.NorhaveIanycomforttogivetomydearandever-honouredfatherandmother,andtoyou,myBella,butthis--that,asitwasthefirstunhappyanniversaryofmybirth,inallprobability,itwillbethelast.

Believeme,mydearSister,Isaynotthismerelytomovecompassion,butfromthebestgrounds.Andas,onthataccount,Ithinkitofthehighestimportancetomypeaceofmindtoobtainonefartherfavour,Iwouldchoosetoowetoyourintercession,asmysister,theleaveIbeg,toaddresshalfadozenlines(withthehopeofhavingthemansweredasIwish)toeitherortobothmyhonouredparents,tobegtheirlastblessing.

ThisblessingisallthefavourIhavenowtoask:itisallIdareto

ask:yetamIafraidtorushatonce,thoughbyletter,intothepresenceofeither.AndifIdidnotaskit,itmightseemtobeowingtostubbornnessandwantofduty,whenmyheartisallhumilitypenitence.Only,besogoodastoemboldenmetoattemptthistask--writebutthisoneline,'ClaryHarlowe,youareatlibertytowriteasyoudesire.'Thiswillbeenough--andshall,tomylasthour,beacknowledgedasthegreatestfavour,by

Yourtrulypenitentsister,CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERLXIII

MRS.NORTON,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEMONDAY,JULY31.

MYDEARESTYOUNGLADY,

ImustindeedownthatItookthelibertytowritetoyourmother,offeringtoenclosetoher,ifshegavemeleave,your'softhe24th:bywhichIthoughtshewouldseewhatwasthestateofyourmind;whatthenatureofyourlasttroubleswasfromthewickedarrest;whatthepeoplearewhereyoulodge;whatproposalsweremadeyoufromLordM.'sfamily;

alsoyoursincerepenitence;andhowmuchMissHowe'swritingtothem,inthetermsshewrotein,disturbedyou--but,asyouhavetakenthematterintoyourownhands,andforbidme,inyourlast,toactinthisniceaffairunknowntoyou,Iamgladtheletterwasnotrequiredofme--andindeeditmaybebetterthatthematterliewhollybetweenyouandthem;sincemyaffectionforyouisthoughttoproceedfrompartiality.

Theywouldchoose,nodoubt,thatyoushouldowetothemselves,andnottomyhumblemediation,thefavourforwhichyousoearnestlysue,andofwhichIwouldnothaveyourdespair:forIwillventuretoassureyou,



thatyourmotherisreadytotakethefirstopportunitytoshowhermaternaltenderness:andthisIgatherfromseveralhintsIamnotatlibertytoexplainmyselfupon.

Ilongtobewithyou,nowIambetter,andnowmysonisinafairwayofrecovery.ButisitnothardtohaveitsignifiedtomethatatpresentitwillnotbetakenwellifIgo?--Isuppose,whilethereconciliation,whichIhopewilltakeplace,isnegotiatingbymeansofthecorrespondencesonewlyopenedbetweenyouandyoursister.Butifyouwillhavemecome,Iwillrelyonmygoodintentions,andrisqueeveryone'sdispleasure.

Mr.Brandhasbusinessintown;tosolicitforabeneficewhichitisexpectedtheincumbentwillbeobligedtoquitforabetterpreferment:and,whenthere,heistoinquireprivatelyafteryourwayoflife,andofyourhealth.

Heisaveryofficiousyoungman;and,butthatyouruncleHarlowe(whohaschosenhimforthiserrand)regardshimasanoracle,yourmotherhadratheranybodyelsehadbeensent.

Heisoneofthosepuzzling,over-doinggentlemen,whothinktheyseefartherintomattersthananybodyelse,andarefondofdiscoveredmysterieswheretherearenone,inordertobethoughtshrewdmen.

Ican'tsayIlikehim,eitherinthepulpitoroutofit:I,whohadafatheroneofthesoundestdivinesandfinestscholarsinthekingdom;whonevermadeanostentationofwhatheknew;butlovedandveneratedhegospelhetaught,preferringittoallotherlearning:tobeobligedtohearayoungmandepartfromhistextassoonashehasnamedit,(socontrary,too,totheexamplesethimbyhislearnedandworthyprincipal,*whenhishealthpermitshimtopreach;)andthrowingabout,toachristianandcountryaudience,scrapsofLatinandGreekfromthePaganClassics;andnotalwaysbroughtinwithgreatproprietyneither,(ifIamtojudgebytheonlywaygivenmetojudgeofthem,bytheEnglishheputstheminto;)isanindicationofsomethingwrong,eitherinhishead,orhisheart,orboth;for,otherwise,hiseducationatthe

universitymusthavetaughthimbetter.Youknow,mydearMissClary,thehonourIhaveforthecloth:itisowingtothat,thatIsaywhatIdo.

*Dr.Lewen.

Iknownotthedayheistosetout;and,ashisinquiriesaretobeprivate,bepleasedtotakenonoticeofthisintelligence.Ihavenodoubtthatyourlifeandconversationaresuchasmaydefythescrutiniesofthemostofficiousinquirer.

Iamjustnowtoldthatyouhavewrittenasecondlettertoyoursister:butamafraidtheywillwaitforMr.Brand'sreport,beforefartherfavourwillbeobtainedfromthem;fortheywillnotyetbelieveyouaresoillasIfearyouare.

Butyouwouldsoonfindthatyouhaveanindulgentmother,weresheatlibertytoactaccordingtoherowninclination.Andthisgivesmegreathopesthatallwillendwellatlast:forIverilythinkyouareintherightwaytoareconciliation.Godgiveablessingtoit,andrestoreyourhealth,andyoutoallyourfriends,prays



Youreveraffectionate,JUDITHNORTON.

Yourmotherhasprivatelysentmefiveguineas:sheispleasedtosaytohelpusintheillnesswehavebeenafflictedwith;but,morelikely,thatImightsendthemtoyou,asfrommyself.Ihope,therefore,Imaysendthemup,withtenmoreIhavestillleft.

IwillsendyouwordofMr.Morden'sarrival,themomentIknowit.

Ifagreeable,Ishouldbegladtoknowallthatpassesbetweenyourrelationsandyou.

LETTERLXIV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMRS.NORTONWEDNESDAY,AUG.2.

Yougiveme,mydearMrs.Norton,greatpleasureinhearingofyour'sand

yourson'srecovery.Mayyoucontinue,formany,manyyears,ablessingtoeachother!

Youtellmethatyoudidactuallywritetomymother,offeringtoenclosetohermineofthe24thpast:andyousayitwasnotrequiredofyou.Thatistosay,althoughyoucoveritoverasgentlyasyoucould,thatyourofferwasrejected;whichmakesitevidentthatnopleacouldbemadeforme.Yet,youbidmehope,thatthegraceIsuedforwould,intime,begranted.

ThegraceIthensuedforwasindeedgranted;butyouareafraid,yousay,thattheywillwaitforMr.Brand'sreport,beforefavourwillbeobtainedinreturntothesecondletterwhichIwrotetomysister;and

youadd,thatIhaveanindulgentmother,weresheatlibertytoactaccordingtoherowninclination;andthatallwillendwellatlast.

Butwhat,mydearMrs.Norton,whatisthegraceIsueforinmysecondletter?--Itisnotthattheywillreceivemeintofavour--Iftheythinkitis,theyaremistaken.Idonot,Icannotexpectthat.Nor,asIhaveoftensaid,shouldI,iftheywouldreceiveme,beartoliveintheeyeofthosedearfriendswhomIhavesogrievouslyoffended.'Tisonly,simply,ablessingIask:ablessingtodiewith;nottoliewith.--Dotheyknowthat?anddotheyknowthattheirunkindnesswillperhapsshortenmydate;sothattheirfavour,ifevertheyintendtograntit,maycometoolate?

Oncemore,Idesireyounottothinkofcomingtome.Ihavenouneasinessnow,butwhatproceedsfromtheapprehensionofseeingamanIwouldnotseefortheworld,ifIcouldhelpit;andfromtheseverityofmynearestanddearestrelations:aseverityentirelytheirown,Idoubt;foryoutellmethatmybrotherisatEdinburgh!Youwouldthereforeheightentheirseverity,andmakeyourselfenemiesbesides,ifyouweretocometome--Don'tyouseeyouwould?

Mr.Brandmaycome,ifhewill.Heisaclergyman,andmustmeanwell;orImustthinkso,lethimsayofmewhathewill.Allmyfearis,



that,asheknowsIamindisgracewithafamilywhoseesteemheisdesiroustocultivate;andashehasobligationstomyuncleHarloweandtomyfather;hewillbebutalanguidacquitter--notthatIamafraidofwhathe,oranybodyintheworld,canhearastomyconduct.Youmay,myreveredanddearfriend,indeedyoumay,restsatisfied,thatthatissuchasmaywarrantmetochallengetheinquiriesofthemostofficious.

Iwillsendyoucopiesofwhatpasses,asyoudesire,whenIhaveananswertomysecondletter.InowbegintowishthatIhadtakenthehearttowritetomyfatherhimself;ortomymother,atleast;insteadoftomysister;andyetIdoubtmypoormothercandonothingformeofherself.Astrongconfederacy,mydearMrs.Norton,(astrongconfederacyindeed!)againstapoorgirl,theirdaughter,sister,niece!--Mybrother,perhaps,gotitrenewedbeforeheleftthem.Heneedednot--hisworkisdone;andmorethandone.

Don'tafflictyourselfaboutmoney-mattersonmyaccount.Ihavenooccasionformoney.Iamgladmymotherwassoconsideratetoyou.Iwasinpainforyouonthesamesubject.ButHeavenwillnotpermitsogoodawomantowantthehumbleblessingsshewasalwayssatisfiedwith.Iwisheveryindividualofourfamilywerebutasrichasyou!--OmymammaNorton,youarerich!youarerichindeed!--thetruerichesaresuchcontentasyouareblessedwith.--AndIhopeinGodthatIaminthewaytoberichtoo.

Adieu,myever-indulgentfriend.Yousayallwillbeatlasthappy--andIknowitwill--Iconfidethatitwill,withasmuchsecurity,asyoumay,thatIwillbe,tomylasthour,

YourevergratefulandaffectionateCL.HARLOWE.

LETTERLXV


TUESDAY,AUG.1.

Iammostconfoundedlychagrinedanddisappointed:forhere,onSaturday,arrivedamessengerfromMissHowe,withalettertomycousins;*whichIknewnothingoftillyesterday;whenLadySarahandLadyBettywereprocuredtobehere,tositinjudgmentuponitwiththeoldPeer,andmytwokinswomen.Andneverwasbearsomiserablybaitedasthypoorfriend!--Andforwhat?--whyforthecrueltyofMissHarlowe:ForhaveIcommittedanynewoffence?andwouldInothavere-instatedmyselfinherfavouruponherownterms,ifIcould?Andisitfairtopunishmeforwhatismymisfortune,andnotmyfault?Suchevent-judgingfoolsasIhaveformyrelations!Iamashamedofthemall.

*SeeLetterLV.ofthisvolume.

InthatofMissHowewasenclosedonetoherfromMissHarlowe,*tobetransmittedtomycousins,containingafinalrejectionofme;andthatinveryvehementandpositiveterms;yetshepretendsthat,inthisrejection,sheisgovernedmorebyprinciplethanpassion--[D----dlie,aseverwastold!]and,asaproofthatsheis,says,thatshecan



forgiveme,anddoes,onthisonecondition,thatIwillnevermolesthermore--thewholelettersowrittenastomakeherselfmoreadmired,memoredetested.

*SeeLetterXLI.ofthisvolume.

Whatwehavebeentoldoftheagitationsandworkings,andsighingsandsobbings,oftheFrenchprophetsamongusformerly,wasnothingatalltothesceneexhibitedbythesemaudlinsouls,atthereadingoftheseletters;andofsomeaffectingpassagesextractedfromanotherofmyfairimplacable'stoMissHowe--suchlamentationsforthelossofsocharmingarelation!suchapplaudingsofhervirtue,ofherexaltednessofsoulandsentiment!suchmenacesofdisinherisons!I,notneedingtheirreproachestobestungtotheheartwithmyownreflections,andwiththerageofdisappointment;andassincerelyasanyofthemadmiringher--'Whatthedevil,'criedI,'isallthisfor?Isitnotenoughtobedespisedandrejected?CanIhelpherimplacablespirit?WouldInotrepairtheevilsIhavemadehersuffer?'--ThenwasIreadytocursethemall,herselfandMissHoweforcompany:andheartilysworethatsheshouldyetbemine.

Inowswearitoveragaintothee--'Wereherdeathtofollowinaweek

aftertheknotistied,bytheLordofHeaven,itshallbetied,andsheshalldieaLovelace!'--Tellherso,ifthouwilt:but,atthesametime,tellherthatIhavenoviewtoherfortune;andthatIwillsolemnlyresignthat,andallpretensionstoit,inwhosefavourshepleases,ifsheresignlifeissueless.--Iamnotsolow-mindedawretch,astobeguiltyofanysordidviewstoherfortune.--Letherjudgeforherself,then,whetheritbenotforherhonourrathertoleavethisworldaLovelacethanaHarlowe.

ButdonotthinkIwillentirelyrestacausesonearmyheartuponanadvocatewhosomuchmoreadmireshisclient'sadversarythanhisclient.Iwillgototown,inafewdays,inordertothrowmyselfatherfeet:andIwillcarrywithme,orhaveathand,aresolute,well-prepared

parson;andtheceremonyshallbeperformed,letwhatwillbetheconsequence.

Butifshewillpermitmetoattendherforthispurposeateitherofthechurchesmentionedinthelicense,(whichshehasbyher,and,thankHeaven!hasnotreturnedmewithmyletters,)thenwillInotdisturbher;butmeetheratthealtarineitherchurch,andwillengagetobringmytwocousinstoattendher,andevenLadySarahandLadyBetty;andmyLordM.inpersonshallgivehertome.

Or,ifitbestillmoreagreeabletoher,IwillundertakethateitherLadySarahorLadyBetty,orboth,shallgototownandattendherdown;andthemarriageshallbecelebratedintheirpresence,andinthatof

LordM.,eitherhereorelsewhere,atherownchoice.

Donotplaymebooty,Belford;butsincerelyandwarmlyusealltheeloquencethouartmasterof,toprevailuponhertochooseoneofthesethreemethods.Oneofthemshemustchoose--bymysoul,shemust.

HereisCharlottetappingatmycloset-doorforadmittance.WhatadevilwantsCharlotte?--Iwillhearnomorereproaches!--Comein,girl!



***

MycousinCharlotte,findingmewritingonwithtoomuchearnestnesstohaveanyregardforpolitenesstoher,andguessingatmysubject,besoughtmetoletherseewhatIhadwritten.

Iobligedher.Andshewassohighlypleasedonseeingmesomuchinearnest,thatsheoffered,andIacceptedheroffer,towritealettertoMissHarlowe;withpermissiontotreatmeinitasshethoughtfit.

Ishallencloseacopyofherletter.

Whenshehadwrittenit,shebroughtittome,withapologiesforthefreedomtakenwithmeinit:butIexcusedit;andshewasreadytogivemeakissforit;tellingherIhadhopesofsuccessfromit;andthatIthoughtshehadluckilyhititoff.

Everyoneapprovesofit,aswellasI;andispleasedwithmeforsopatientlysubmittingtobeabused,andundertakenfor.--Ifitdonotsucceed,alltheblamewillbethrownuponthedearcreature'sperverseness:hercharitableorforgivingdisposition,aboutwhichshemakessuchaparade,willbejustlyquestioned;andthepiety,ofwhichsheisnowinfullpossession,willbetransferredtome.

Putting,therefore,mywholeconfidenceinthisletter,Ipostponeallmyotheralternatives,asalsomygoingtotown,tillmyempresssendananswertomycousinMontague.

Butifshepersist,andwillnotpromisetotaketimetoconsiderofthematter,thoumayestcommunicatetoherwhatIhadwritten,asabove,beforemycousinentered;and,ifshebestillperverse,assureher,thatImustandwillseeher--butthiswithallhonour,allhumility:and,ifIcannotmoveherinmyfavour,Iwillthengoabroad,andperhapsnevermorereturntoEngland.

Iamsorrythouart,atthiscriticaltime,sobusilyemployed,asthou

informestmethouart,inthyWatfordaffairs,andinpreparingtodoBeltonjustice.Ifthouwantestmyassistanceinthelatter,commandme.Thoughengrossedbythisperversebeauty,andplaguedasIam,Iwillobeythyfirstsummons.

Ihavegreatdependenceuponthyzealandthyfriendship:hastenbacktoher,therefore,andresumeatasksointerestingtome,thatitisequallythesubjectofmydreams,asofmywakinghours.

LETTERLXVI

MISSMONTAGUE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWETUESDAY,AUG.1.

DEARESTMADAM,

Allourfamilyisdeeplysensibleoftheinjuriesyouhavereceivedatthehandsofoneofit,whomyouonlycanrenderinanymannerworthyoftherelationhestandsintousall:andif,asanactofmercyandcharity,thegreatestyourpiousheartcanshow,youwillbepleasedto



lookoverhispastwickednessandingratitude,andsufferyourselftobeourkinswoman,youwillmakeusthehappiestfamilyintheworld:andIcanengage,thatLordM.,andLadySarahSadleir,andLadyBettyLawrance,andmysister,whoarealladmirersofyourvirtues,andofyournoblenessofmind,willforeverloveandreverenceyou,anddoeverythinginalltheirpowerstomakeyouamendsforwhatyouhavesufferedfromMr.Lovelace.This,Madam,weshouldnot,however,daretopetitionfor,werewenotassured,thatMr.Lovelaceismostsincerelysorryforhispastvilenesstoyou;andthathewill,onhisknees,begyourpardon,andvoweternalloveandhonourtoyou.

Wherefore,mydearestcousin,[howyouwillcharmusall,ifthisagreeablestylemaybepermitted!]foralloursakes,forhissoul'ssake,[youmust,Iamsure,besogoodalady,astowishtosaveasoul!]andallowmetosay,foryourownfame'ssake,condescendtoourjointrequest:andif,bywayofencouragement,youwillbutsayyouwillbegladtosee,andtobeasmuchknownpersonally,asyouarebyfame,toCharlotteMontague,Iwill,intwodays'timefromthereceiptofyourpermission,waituponyouwithorwithoutmysister,andreceiveyourfarthercommands.

Letme,ourdearestcousin,[wecannotdenyourselvesthepleasureofcallingyouso;letme]entreatyoutogivemeyourpermissionformyjourneytoLondon;andputitinthepowerofLordM.andoftheladies

ofthefamily,tomakeyouwhatreparationtheycanmakeyou,fortheinjurieswhichapersonofthegreatestmeritintheworldhasreceivedfromoneofthemostaudaciousmeninit;andyouwillinfinitelyobligeusall;andparticularlyher,whorepeatedlypresumestostyleherself

Youraffectionatecousin,andobligedservant,CHARLOTTEMONTAGUE.

LETTERLXVII


THURSDAYMORNING,AUG.3.SIXO'CLOCK.

IhavebeensomuchemployedinmyownandBelton'saffairs,thatIcouldnotcometotowntilllastnight;havingcontentedmyselfwithsendingtoMrs.Lovick,toknow,fromtimetotime,thestateofthelady'shealth;ofwhichIreceivedbutveryindifferentaccounts,owing,inagreatmeasure,tolettersoradvicesbroughtherfromherimplacablefamily.

Ihavenowcompletedmyownaffairs;and,nextweek,shallgotoEpsom,toendeavourtoputBelton'ssisterintopossessionofhisownhouseforhim:afterwhich,Ishalldevotemyselfwhollytoyourservice,andtothatofthelady.

Iwasadmittedtoherpresencelastnight;andfoundhervisiblyalteredfortheworse.WhenIwenthome,IhadyourletterofTuesdaylastputintomyhands.Letmetellthee,Lovelace,thatIinsistupontheperformanceofthyengagementtomethatthouwiltnotpersonallymolesther.

[Mr.BelforddatesagainonThursdaymorning,teno'clock;andgivesanaccountofaconversationwhichhehadjustheldwiththeLadyupon



thesubjectofMissMontague'slettertoher,preceding,anduponMr.Lovelace'salternatives,asmentionedinLetterLXV.,whichMr.Belfordsupportedwiththeutmostearnestness.But,astheresultofthisconversationwillbefoundinthesubsequentletters,Mr.Belford'spleasandargumentsinfavourofhisfriend,andtheLady'sanswers,areomitted.]

LETTERLXVIII

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOMISSMONTAGUETHURSDAY,AUG.3.

DEARMADAM,

Iaminfinitelyobligedtoyouforyourkindandcondescendingletter.Aletter,however,whichheightensmyregrets,asitgivesmeanewinstanceofwhatahappycreatureImighthavebeeninanalliancesomuchapprovedofbysuchworthyladies;andwhich,ontheiraccounts,andonthatofLordM.wouldhavebeensoreputabletomyself,andwasoncesodesirable.

Butindeed,indeed,Madam,myheartsincerelyrepulsesthemanwho,descendedfromsuchafamily,couldbeguilty,first,ofsuchpremeditatedviolenceashehasbeenguiltyof;and,asheknows,fartherintendedme,onthenightprevioustothedayhesetoutforBerkshire;and,next,pretendingtospirit,couldbesomeanastowishtoliftintothatfamilyapersonhewascapableofabasingintoacompanionshipwiththemostabandonedofhersex.

Allowmethen,dearMadam,todeclarewithfavour,thatIthinkInevercouldberankedwiththeladiesofafamilysosplendidandsonoble,if,byvowingloveandhonouratthealtartosuchaviolator,Icouldsanctify,asImaysay,hisunprecedentedandelaboratewickedness.

Permitme,however,tomakeonerequesttomygoodLordM.,andtoLadyBetty,andLadySarah,andtoyourkindself,andyoursister.--Itis,thatyouwillallbepleasedtojoinyourauthorityandintereststoprevailuponMr.Lovelacenottomolestmefarther.

Bepleasedtotellhim,that,ifIamdesignedforlife,itwillbeverycruelinhimtoattempttohuntmeoutofit;forIamdeterminednevertoseehimmore,ifIcanhelpit.Themorecruel,becauseheknowsthatIhavenobodytodefendmefromhim:nordoIwishtoengageanybodytohishurt,ortotheirown.

IfIam,ontheotherhand,destinedfordeath,itwillbenolesscruel,ifhewillnotpermitmetodieinpeace--sinceapeaceableandhappyend

Iwishhim;indeedIdo.

Everyworldlygoodattendyou,dearMadam,andeverybranchofthehonourablefamily,isthewishofone,whosemisfortuneitisthatsheisobligedtodisclaimanyothertitlethanthatof,

DearMadam,Yourandtheirobligedandfaithfulservant,CLARISSAHARLOWE.



LETTERLXIX

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.THURSDAYAFTERNOON,AUG.3.

Iamjustnowagreeablysurprisedbythefollowingletter,deliveredintomyhandsbyamessengerfromthelady.Thelettershementions,asenclosed,*Ihavereturned,withouttakingacopyofit.Thecontentsofitwillsoonbecommunicatedtoyou,Ipresume,byotherhands.Theyareanabsoluterejectionofthee--PoorLovelace!

*SeeMissHarlowe'sLetter,No.LXVIII.

TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.AUG.3.

SIR,

Youhavefrequentlyofferedtoobligemeinanythingthatshallbewithinyourpower:andIhavesuchanopinionofyou,astobewillingtohopethat,atthetimesyoumadetheseoffers,youmeantmorethanmerecompliment.

Ihavethereforetworequeststomaketoyou:thefirstIwillnowmention;theother,ifthisshallbecompliedwith,otherwisenot.

Itbehovesmetoleavebehindmesuchanaccountasmayclearupmyconducttoseveralofmyfriendswhowillnotatpresentconcernthemselvesaboutme:andMissHowe,andhermother,areverysolicitousthatIwilldoso.

IamapprehensivethatIshallnothavetimetodothis;andyouwillnotwonderthatIhavelessandlessinclinationtosetaboutsuchapainfultask;especiallyasIfindmyselfunabletolookbackwithpatienceonwhatIhavesuffered;andshallbetoomuchdiscomposedbytheretrospection,wereIobligedtomakeit,toproceedwiththerequisitetemperinataskofstillgreaterimportancewhichIhavebeforeme.

Itisveryevidenttomethatyourwickedfriendhasgivenyou,fromtimetotime,acircumstantialaccountofallhisbehaviourtome,anddevicesagainstme;andyouhavemorethanonceassuredme,thathehasdonemycharacterallthejusticeIcouldwishfor,bothbywritingandspeech.

Now,Sir,ifImayhaveafair,afaithfulspecimenfromhislettersor

accountstoyou,writtenuponsomeofthemostinterestingoccasions,Ishallbeabletojudgewhethertherewillorwillnotbeanecessityforme,formyhonour'ssake,toenteruponthesolicitedtask.

Youmaybeassured,frommyenclosedanswertotheletterwhichMissMontaguehashonouredmewith,(andwhichyou'llbepleasedtoreturnmeassoonasread,)thatitisimpossibleformeevertothinkofyourfriendinthewayIamimportunedtothinkofhim:hecannotthereforereceiveanydetrimentfromtherequestedspecimen:andIgiveyoumyhonour,thatnouseshallbemadeofittohisprejudice,inlaw,or



otherwise.Andthatitmaynot,afterIamnomore,Iassureyou,thatitisamainpartofmyviewthatthepassagesyoushallobligemewithshallbealwaysinyourownpower,andnotinthatofanyotherperson.

If,Sir,youthinkfittocomplywithmyrequest,thepassagesIwouldwishtobetranscribed(makingneitherbetternorworseofthematter)arethosewhichhehaswrittentoyou,onoraboutthe7thand8thofJune,whenIwasalarmedbythewickedpretenceofafire;andwhathehaswrittenfromSunday,June11,tothe19th.Andindoingthisyouwillmuchoblige

Yourhumbleservant,CLARISSAHARLOWE.

***

Now,Lovelace,sincetherearenohopesfortheeofherreturningfavour--sincesomepraisemaylieforthyingenuousness,havingneitheroffered[asmorediminutive-mindedlibertineswouldhavedone]topalliatethycrimes,byaspersingthelady,orhersex--sinceshemaybemadeeasierbyit--sincethoumustfarebetterfromthineownpenthanfromher's--and,finally,sincethyactionshavemanifestedthatthy

lettersarenotthemostguiltypartofwhatsheknowsofthee--IseenotwhyImaynotobligeher,uponherhonour,andundertherestrictions,andforthereasonsshehasgiven;andthiswithoutbreachoftheconfidenceduetofriendlycommunication;especially,asImighthaveadded,sincethougloriestinthypenandinthywickedness,andcanstnotbeashamed.

But,bethisasitmay,shewillbeobligedbeforethyremonstrancesorclamoursagainstitcancome;so,pr'ytheenow,makethebestofit,andravenot;exceptforthesakeofapretenceagainstme,andtoexercisethytalentofexecration:--and,ifthoulikesttodosoforthesereasons,raveandwelcome.

Ilongtoknowwhatthesecondrequestis:butthisIknow,thatifitbeanythinglessthancuttingthythroat,orendangeringmyownneck,Iwillcertainlycomply;andbeproudofhavingitinmypowertoobligeher.

AndnowIamactuallygoingtobebusyintheextracts.

LETTERLXX

MR.BELFORD,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEAUG.3,4.

MADAM,

Youhaveengagedmetocommunicatetoyou,uponmyhonour,(makingneitherbetternorworseofthematter,)whatMr.Lovelacehaswrittentome,inrelationtoyourself,intheperiodprecedingyourgoingtoHampstead,andinthatbetweenthe11thand19thofJune:andyouassuremeyouhavenoviewinthisrequest,buttoseeifitbenecessaryforyou,fromtheaccounthegives,totouchuponthepainfulsubjects



yourself,forthesakeofyourowncharacter.

Yourcommands,Madam,areofaverydelicatenature,astheymayseemtoaffectthesecretsofprivatefriendship:butasIknowyouarenotcapableofaview,themotivestowhichyouwillnotown;andasIthinkthecommunicationmaydosomecredittomyunhappyfriend'scharacter,asaningenuousman;thoughhisactionsbythemostexcellentwomanintheworldhavelosthimalltitletothatofanhonourableone;Iobeyyouwiththegreatercheerfulness.

[Hethenproceedswithhisextracts,andconcludesthemwithanaddresstoherinhisfriend'sbehalf,inthefollowingwords:]

'Andnow,Madam,Ihavefulfilledyourcommands;and,Ihope,havenotdis-servedmyfriendwithyou;sinceyouwillherebyseethejusticehedoestoyourvirtueineverylinehewrites.Hedoesthesameinallhisletters,thoughtohisowncondemnation:and,givemeleavetoadd,thatifthisever-amiablesufferercanthinkitinanymannerconsistentwithherhonourtoreceivehisvowsonthealtar,onhistrulypenitentturnofmind,Ihavenottheleastdoubtbutthathewillmakeherthebestandtenderestofhusbands.Whatobligationwillnottheadmirableladyherebylayuponallhisnoblefamily,whosogreatlyadmireher!and,Iwillpresumetosay,uponherown,whentheunhappyfamilyaversion

(whichcertainlyhasbeencarriedtoanunreasonableheightagainsthim)shallbegotover,andageneralreconciliationtakesplace!Forwhoisitthatwouldnotgivethesetwoadmirablepersonstoeachother,werenothismoralsanobjection?

Howeverthisbe,Iwouldhumblyrefertoyou,Madam,whether,asyouwillbemistressofverydelicateparticularsfrommehisfriend,youshouldnotinhonourthinkyourselfconcernedtopassthemby,asifyouhadneverseenthem;andnottotakeadvantageofthecommunication,noteveninanargument,assomeperhapsmightlie,withrespecttothepremeditateddesignheseemstohavehad,notagainstyou,asyou;butasagainstthesex;overwhom(IamsorryIcanbearwitnessmyself)itisthevillanousaimofalllibertinestotriumph:andIwouldnot,ifany

misunderstandingshouldarisebetweenhimandme,givehimroomtoreproachmethathislosingofyou,and(throughhisusageofyou)ofhisownfriends,wereowingtowhatperhapshewouldcallbreachoftrust,werehetojudgeratherbytheeventthanbymyintention.

Iam,Madam,withthemostprofoundveneration,

Yourmostfaithfulhumbleservant,J.BELFORD.

LETTERLXXI

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.FRIDAY,AUG.4.

SIR,

Iholdmyselfextremelyobligedtoyouforyourcommunications.Iwillmakenouseofthem,thatyoushallhavereasontoreproacheitheryourselformewith.Iwantednonewlightstomaketheunhappyman's



premeditatedbasenesstomeunquestionable,asmyanswertoMissMontague'slettermightconvinceyou.*

*SeeLetterLXVIII.ofthisvolume.

Imustown,inhisfavour,thathehasobservedsomedecencyinhisaccountstoyouofthemostindecentandshockingactions.Andifallhisstrangely-communicativenarrationsareequallydecent,nothingwillberenderedcriminallyodiousbythem,butthevileheartthatcouldmeditatesuchcontrivancesasweremuchstrongerevidencesofhisinhumanitythanofhiswit:sincemenofverycontemptiblepartsandunderstandingmaysucceedinthevilestattempts,iftheycanoncebringthemselvestotrampleonthesanctionswhichbindmantoman;andsooneruponaninnocentpersonthanuponanyother;becausesuchaoneisapttojudgeoftheintegrityofothers'heartsbyitsown.

IfindIhavehadgreatreasontothinkmyselfobligedtoyourintentioninthewholeprogressofmysufferings.Itis,however,impossible,Sir,tomissthenaturalinferenceonthisoccasionthatliesagainsthispredeterminedbaseness.ButIsaytheless,becauseyoushallnotthinkIborrow,fromwhatyouhavecommunicated,aggravationsthatarenotneeded.

Andnow,Sir,thatImayspareyouthetroubleofofferinganyfutureargumentsinhisfavour,letmetellyouthatIhaveweighedeverythingthoroughly--allthathumanvanitycouldsuggest--allthatadesirablereconciliationwithmyfriends,andthekindrespectsofhisown,couldbidmehopefor--theenjoymentofMissHowe'sfriendship,thedearestconsiderationtome,now,ofalltheworldlyones--alltheseIhaveweighed:andtheresultis,andwasbeforeyoufavouredmewiththesecommunications,thatIhavemoresatisfactioninthehopethat,inonemonth,therewillbeanendofallwithme,thaninthemostagreeablethingsthatcouldhappenfromanalliancewithMr.Lovelace,althoughIweretobeassuredhewouldmakethebestandtenderestofhusbands.Butastotherest;if,satisfiedwiththeevilshehasbroughtuponme,he

willforbearallfurtherpersecutionsofme,Iwill,tomylasthour,wishhimgood:althoughhehathoverwhelmedthefatherless,anddiggedapitforhisfriend:fatherlessmayshewellbecalled,andmotherlesstoo,whohasbeendeniedallpaternalprotection,andmotherlyforgiveness.

***

Andnow,Sir,acknowledginggratefullyyourfavourintheextracts,IcometothesecondrequestIhadtomakeyou;whichrequiresagreatdealofcouragetomention;andwhichcouragenothingbutagreatdealof

distress,andaverydestitutecondition,cangive.But,ifimproper,Icanbutbedenied;anddaretosayIshallbeatleastexcused.Thus,then,Iprefaceit:

'Yousee,Sir,thatIamthrownabsolutelyintothehandsofstrangers,who,althoughaskindandcompassionateasstrangerscanbewishedtobe,are,nevertheless,personsfromwhomIcannotexpectanythingmorethanpityandgoodwishes;norcanmymemoryreceivefromthemanymoreprotectionthanmyperson,ifeithershouldneedit.



'IfthenIrequestit,oftheonlypersonpossessedofmaterialsthatwillenablehimtodomycharacterjustice;

'Andwhohascourage,independence,andabilitytoobligeme;

'Tobetheprotectorormymemory,asImaysay;

'Andtobemyexecutor;andtoseesomeofmydyingrequestsperformed;

'AndifIleaveittohimtodothewholeinhisownway,manner,andtime;consulting,however,inrequisitecases,mydearMissHowe;

'Ipresumetohopethatthismysecondrequestmaybegranted.'

Andifitmay,thesesatisfactionswillaccruetomefromthefavourdoneme,andtheofficeundertaken:

'Itwillbeanhonourtomymemory,withallthosewhoshallknowthatIwassowellsatisfiedofmyinnocence,that,havingnottimetowritemyownstory,Icouldintrustittotherelationwhichthedestroyerofmyfameandfortuneshasgivenofit.

'Ishallnotbeapprehensiveofinvolvinganyoneinmytroublesorhazardsbythistask,eitherwithmyownrelations,orwithyourfriend;

havingdispositionstomakewhichperhapsmyownfriendswillnotbesowellpleasedwithasitweretobewishedtheywouldbe;'asIintendnotunreasonableones;butyouknow,Sir,whereselfisjudge,matters,evenwithgoodpeople,willnotalwaysberightlyjudgedof.

'Ishallalsobefreedfromthepainofrecollectingthingsthatmysoulisvexedat;andthisatatimewhenitstumultsshouldbeallayed,inordertomakewayforthemostimportantpreparation.

'Andwhoknows,butthatMr.Belford,whoalready,fromaprincipleofhumanity,istouchedatmymisfortunes,whenhecomestorevolvethewholestory,placedbeforehiminonestronglight:andwhenheshallhavethecatastrophelikewisebeforehim;andshallbecomeinamanner

interestedinit;whoknows,butthat,fromastillhigherprinciple,hemaysoregulatehisfutureactionsastofindhisownrewardintheeverlastingwelfarewhichiswishedhimbyhis

'Obligedservant,'CLARISSAHARLOWE?'

LETTERLXXII

MR.BELFORD,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEFRIDAY,AUG.4.

MADAM,

Iamsosensibleofthehonourdonemeinyour'softhisday,thatIwouldnotdelayforonemomenttheansweringofit.Ihopeyouwilllivetoseemanyhappyyears;andtobeyourownexecutrixinthosepointswhichyourheartismostsetupon.But,inthecaseofsurvivorship,Imostcheerfullyacceptofthesacredofficeyouarepleasedtoofferme;andyoumayabsolutelyrelyuponmyfidelity,and,ifpossible,uponthe



literalperformanceofeveryarticleyoushallenjoinme.

Theeffectofthekindwishyouconcludewith,hadbeenmyconcerneversinceIhavebeenadmittedtothehonourofyourconversation.Itshallbemywholeendeavourthatitbenotvain.Thehappinessofapproachingyou,whichthistrust,asIpresume,willgivemefrequentopportunitiesofdoing,mustnecessarilypromotethedesiredend:sinceitwillbeimpossibletobeawitnessofyourpiety,equanimity,andothervirtues,andnotaspiretoemulateyou.AllIbegis,thatyouwillnotsufferanyfuturecandidate,orevent,todisplaceme;unlesssomenewinstancesofunworthinessappeareitherinthemoralsorbehaviourof,

Madam,Yourmostobligedandfaithfulservant,J.BELFORD.

LETTERLXXIII

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.FRIDAYNIGHT,AUG.4.

Ihaveactuallydeliveredtotheladytheextractssherequestedmetogiveherfromyourletters.IdoassureyouthatIhavemadetheverybestofthematterforyou,notthatconscience,butthatfriendship,couldobligemetomake.Ihavechangedoromittedsomefreewords.Thewarmdescriptionofherpersoninthefire-scene,asImaycallit,Ihaveomitted.Ihavetoldher,thatIhavedonejusticetoyou,inthejusticeyouhavedonetoherbyherunexampledvirtue.ButtaketheverywordswhichIwrotetoherimmediatelyfollowingtheextracts:

'Andnow,Madam,'--Seetheparagraphmarkedwithaninvertedcomma[thus'],LetterLXX.ofthisvolume.

Theladyisextremelyuneasyatthethoughtsofyourattemptingtovisither.ForHeaven'ssake,(yourwordbeinggiven,)andforpity'ssake,(forsheisreallyinaveryweakandlanguishingway,)letmebegofyounottothinkofit.

Yesterdayafternoonshereceivedacruelletter(asMrs.Lovicksupposesittobe,bytheeffectithaduponher)fromhersister,inanswertoonewrittenlastSaturday,entreatingablessingandforgivenessfromherparents.

Sheacknowledges,thatifthesamedecencyandjusticeareobservedinallofyourletters,asintheextractsIhaveobligedherwith,(asI

haveassuredhertheyare,)sheshallthinkherselffreedfromthenecessityofwritingherownstory:andthisisanadvantagetotheewhichthououghtesttothankmefor.

Butwhatthinkestthouisthesecondrequestshehadtomaketome?nootherthanthatIwouldbeherexecutor!--Hermotiveswillappearbeforetheeinpropertime;andthen,Idaretoanswer,willbesatisfactory.

YoucannotimaginehowproudIamofthistrust.IamafraidIshalltoosooncomeintotheexecutionofit.Assheisalwayswriting,whata



melancholypleasurewillbetheperusalanddispositionofherpapersaffordme!suchasweetnessoftemper,somuchpatienceandresignation,assheseemstobemistressof;yetwritingofandinthemidstofpresentdistresses!howmuchmorelivelyandaffecting,forthatreason,mustherstylebe;hermindtorturedbythepangsofuncertainty,(theeventsthenhiddeninthewomboffate,)thanthedry,narrative,unanimatedstyleofpersons,relatingdifficultiesanddangerssurmounted;therelaterperfectlyatease;andifhimselfunmovedbyhisownstory,notlikelygreatlytoaffectthereader!

***

SATURDAYMORNING,AUG.5.

Iamjustreturnedfromvisitingthelady,andthankingherinpersonforthehonourshehasdoneme;andassuringher,ifcalledtothesacredtrust,oftheutmostfidelityandexactness.

Ifoundherveryill.Itooknoticeofit.Shesaid,shehadreceivedasecondhard-heartedletterfromhersister;andshehadbeenwritingaletter(andthatonherknees)directlytohermother;which,before,shehadnothadthecouragetodo.Itwasforalastblessingand

forgiveness.Nowonder,shesaid,thatIsawheraffected.NowthatIhadacceptedofthelastcharitableofficeforher,(forwhich,aswellasforcomplyingwithherotherrequest,shethankedme,)Ishouldonedayhavealltheselettersbeforeme:andcouldshehaveakindoneinreturntothatshehadbeennowwriting,tocounterbalancetheunkindoneshehadfromhersister,shemightbeinducedtoshowmebothtogether--otherwise,forhersister'ssake,itwerenomatterhowfewsawthepoorBella'sletter.

IknewshewouldbedispleasedifIhadcensuredthecrueltyofherrelations:Ithereforeonlysaid,thatsurelyshemusthaveenemies,whohopedtofindtheiraccountinkeepinguptheresentmentsofherfriendsagainsther.

Itmaybeso,Mr.Belford,saidshe:theunhappyneverwantenemies.Onefault,wilfullycommitted,authorizestheimputationofmanymore.Wheretheearisopenedtoaccusations,accuserswillnotbewanting;andeveryonewillofficiouslycomewithstoriesagainstadisgracedchild,wherenothingdarebesaidinherfavour.Ishouldhavebeenwiseintime,andnothaveneededtobeconvinced,bymyownmisfortunes,ofthetruthofwhatcommonexperiencedailydemonstrates.Mr.Lovelace'sbaseness,myfather'sinflexibility,mysister'sreproaches,arethenaturalconsequencesofmyownrashness;soImustmakethebestofmyhardlot.Only,astheseconsequencesfollowoneanothersoclosely,whiletheyarenew,howcanIhelpbeinganewaffected?

Iasked,ifaletterwrittenbymyself,byherdoctororapothecary,toanyofherfriends,representingherlowstateofhealth,andgreathumility,wouldbeacceptable?orifajourneytoanyofthemwouldbeofservice,Iwouldgladlyundertakeitinperson,andstrictlyconformtoherorders,towhomsoeversheshoulddirectmetoapply.

Sheearnestlydesiredthatnothingofthissortmightbeattempted,especiallywithoutherknowledgeandconsent.MissHowe,shesaid,haddoneharmbyherkindly-intendedzeal;andiftherewereroomtoexpectfavourbymediation,shehadreadyathandakindfriend,Mrs.Norton,



whoforpietyandprudencehadfewequals;andwhowouldletslipnoopportunitytoendeavourtodoherservice.

IletherknowthatIwasgoingoutoftowntillMonday:shewishedmepleasure;andsaidsheshouldbegladtoseemeonmyreturn.

Adieu!

LETTERLXXIV

MISSAR.HARLOWE,TOMISSCL.HARLOWE[INANSWERTOHER'SOFJULY29.SEELETTERLXII.OFTHISVOLUME.]THURSDAYMORN.AUG.3.

SISTERCLARY,

Iwishyouwouldnottroublemewithanymoreofyourletters.Youhadalwaysaknackatwriting;anddependeduponmakingeveryonedowhatyouwouldwhenyouwrote.Butyourwitandfollyhaveundoneyou.Andnow,asallnaughtycreaturesdo,whentheycan'thelpthemselves,youcomebeggingandpraying,andmakeothersasuneasyasyourself.

WhenIwrotelasttoyou,IexpectedthatIshouldnotbeatrest.

Andsoyou'dcreepon,bylittleandlittle,tillyou'llwanttobereceivedagain.

Butyouonlyhopeforforgivenessandablessing,yousay.Ablessingforwhat,sisterClary?Thinkforwhat!--However,Ireadyourlettertomyfatherandmother.

Iwon'ttellyouwhatmyfathersaid--onewhohasthetruesenseyouboasttohaveofyourmisdeeds,mayguess,withoutmytellingyou,whatajustly-incensedfatherwouldsayonsuchanoccasion.

Mypoormother--Owretch!whathasnotyourungratefulfollycostmypoormother!--Hadyoubeenlessadarling,youwouldnot,perhaps,havebeensograceless:ButIneverinmylifesawacockeredfavouritecometogood.

Myheartisfull,andIcan'thelpwritingmymind;foryourcrimeshavedisgracedusall;andIamafraidandashamedtogotoanypublicorprivateassemblyordiversion:Andwhy?--Ineednotsaywhy,whenyouractionsarethesubjectseitheroftheopentalk,oroftheaffrontingwhispers,ofbothsexesatallsuchplaces.

Uponthewhole,IamsorryIhavenomorecomforttosendyou:butIfind

nobodywillingtoforgiveyou.

Idon'tknowwhattimemaydoforyou;andwhenitisseenthatyourpenitenceisnotowingmoretodisappointmentthantotrueconviction:foritistooprobable,MissClary,that,hadnotyourfeather-headedvillainabandonedyou,weshouldhaveheardnothingofthesemovingsupplications;norofanythingbutdefiancesfromhim,andaguiltgloriedinfromyou.Andthisiseveryone'sopinion,aswellasthatof

Yourafflictedsister,



ARABELLAHARLOWE.

Isendthisbyaparticularhand,whoundertakestogiveityouorleaveitforyoubyto-morrownight.

LETTERLXXV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOHERMOTHERSATURDAY,AUG.5

HONOUREDMADAM,

Noself-convictedcriminaleverapproachedherangryandjustjudgewithgreaterawe,norwithatruercontrition,thanIdoyoubytheselines.

IndeedImustsay,thatifthelatterofmyhumbleprayerhadnotrespectedmyfuturewelfare,Ihadnotdaredtotakethisliberty.Butmyheartissetuponit,asuponathingnexttoGodAlmighty'sforgivenessnecessaryforme.

Hadmyhappysisterknownmydistresses,shewouldnothavewrungmyheart,asshehasdone,byaseverity,whichImustneedsthinkunkindandunsisterly.

Butcomplaintofanyunkindnessfromherbelongsnottome:yet,assheispleasedtowritethatitmustbeseenthatmypenitenceislessowingtodisappointmentthantotrueconviction,permitme,Madam,toinsistuponit,that,ifsuchapleacanbeallowedme,IanactuallyentitledtotheblessingIsuefor;sincemyhumbleprayerisfoundeduponatrueandunfeignedrepentance:andthisyouwillthereadierbelieve,ifthecreaturewhonever,tothebestofherremembrance,toldhermammaawilfulfalsehoodmaybecredited,whenshedeclares,asshedoes,inthemostsolemnmanner,thatshemettheseducerwithadeterminationnotto

gooffwithhim:thattherashstepwasowingmoretocompulsionthantoinfatuation:andthatherheartwassolittleinit,thatsherepentedandgrievedfromthemomentshefoundherselfinhispower;andforeverymomentafter,forseveralweeksbeforeshehadanycausefromhimtoapprehendtheusageshemetwith.

Wherefore,onmyknees,myever-honouredMamma,(foronmykneesIwritethisletter,)Idomosthumblybegyourblessing:saybut,insomanywords,(Iaskyounot,Madam,tocallmeyourdaughter,)--Lost,unhappywretch,Iforgiveyou!andmayGodblessyou!--Thisisall!Letme,onablessedscrapofpaper,butseeonesentencetothiseffect,underyourdearhand,thatImayholdittomyheartinmymosttryingstruggles,andIshallthinkitapassporttoHeaven.And,ifIdonottoomuch

presume,anditwereWEinsteadofI,andbothyourhonourednamessubjoinedtoit,Ishouldthenhavenothingmoretowish.ThenwouldIsay,'GreatandmercifulGod!thouseesthereinthispaperthypoorunworthycreatureabsolvedbyherjustly-offendedparents:Oh!join,formyRedeemer'ssake,thyall-graciousfiat,andreceivearepentantsinnertothearmsofthymercy!'

Icanconjureyou,Madam,bynosubjectofmotherlytenderness,thatwillnot,intheopinionofmyseverecensurers,(beforewhomthishumbleaddressmustappear,)addtoreproach:letmetherefore,forGod'ssake,



prevailuponyoutopronouncemeblestandforgiven,sinceyouwilltherebysprinklecomfortthroughthelasthoursof

YourCLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERLXXVI

MISSMONTAGUE,TOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWE[INANSWERTOHER'SOFAUG.3.SEELETTERLXVIII.OFTHISVOLUME.]MONDAY,AUG.7.

DEARMADAM,

Wewereallofopinion,beforeyourlettercame,thatMr.Lovelacewasutterlyunworthyofyou,anddeservedcondignpunishment,ratherthantobeblessedwithsuchawife:andhopedfarmorefromyourkindconsiderationforus,thananywesupposedyoucouldhaveforsobaseaninjurer.Forwewerealldeterminedtoloveyou,andadmireyou,lethisbehaviourtoyoubewhatitwould.

But,afteryourletter,whatcanbesaid?Iam,however,commandedtowriteinallthesubscribingnames,toletyouknowhowgreatlyyoursufferingshaveaffectedus:totellyouthatmyLordM.hasforbidhimevermoretoenterthedoorsoftheapartmentswhereheshallbe:andasyoulabourundertheunhappyeffectsofyourfriends'displeasure,whichmaysubjectyoutoinconveniencies,hisLordship,andLadySarah,andLadyBetty,begofyoutoaccept,foryourlife,or,atleast,tillyouareadmittedtoenjoyyourownestate,ofonehundredguineasperquarter,whichwillberegularlybroughtyoubyanespecialhand,andoftheenclosedbank-billforabeginning.Anddonot,dearestMadam,weallbeseechyou,donotthinkyouarebeholden(forthistokenofLordM.'s,andLadySarah's,andLadyBetty's,loveto

you)tothefriendsofthisvileman;forhehasnotonefriendleftamongus.

Weeachofusdesiretobefavouredwithaplaceinyouresteem;andtobeconsidereduponthesamefootofrelationshipasifwhatoncewassomuchourpleasuretohopewouldbe,hadbeen.Anditshallbeourunitedprayer,thatyoumayrecoverhealthandspirits,andlivetoseemanyhappyyears:and,sincethiswretchcannomorebepleadedfor,that,whenheisgoneabroad,ashenowispreparingtodo,wemaybepermittedthehonourofapersonalacquaintancewithaladywhohasnoequal.Thesearetheearnestrequests,dearestyounglady,of

Youraffectionatefriends,

andmostfaithfulservants,M.SARAHSADLEIR.ELIZ.LAWRANCE.CHARL.MONTAGUE.MARTH.MONTAGUE.

Youwillbreaktheheartsofthethreefirst-namedmoreparticularly,ifyourefusethemyouracceptance.Dearestyounglady,punishnot



themforhiscrimes.Wesendbyaparticularhand,whichwillbringus,wehope,youracceptingfavour.

Mr.Lovelacewritesbythesamehand;butheknowsnothingofourletter,norweofhis:forweshuneachother;andonepartofthehouseholdsus,anotherhim,theremotestfromeachother.

LETTERLXXVII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.SAT.AUG.23.

IamsodisturbedatthecontentsofMissHarlowe'sanswertomycousinCharlotte'sletterofTuesdaylast,(whichwasgivenherbythesamefellowthatgavemeyour's,)thatIhavehardlypatienceorconsiderationenoughtoweighwhatyouwrite.

Shehadneedindeedtocryoutformercyforherselffromherfriends,whoknowsnothowtoshowany!SheisatruedaughteroftheHarlowes!--Bymysoul,Jack,sheisatruedaughteroftheHarlowes!Yethasshesomanyexcellencies,thatImustloveher;and,foolthatIam,loveher

themorefordespisingme.Thourunnestonwiththycursednonsensicalreformadorote,ofdying,dying,dying!and,havingoncegotthewordbytheend,canstnothelpfoistingitinateveryperiod!Thedeviltakeme,ifIdon'tthinkthouwouldstrathergiveherpoisonwiththyownhands,ratherthansheshouldrecover,androbtheeofthemeritofbeingaconjurer!

Butnomoreofthycursedknell;thychangesupondeath'scandlestickturnedbottom-upwards:she'lllivetoburyme;Iseethat:for,bymysoul,Icanneithereat,drink,norsleep,nor,whatisstillworse,loveanywomanintheworldbuther.NorcareItolookuponawomannow:onthecontrary,IturnmyheadfromeveryoneImeet:exceptbychancean

eye,anair,afeature,strikesme,resemblingher'sinsomeglancing-byface;andthenIcannotforbearlookingagain:thoughthesecondlookrecoversme;fortherecanbenobodylikeher.

Butsurely,Belford,thedevil'sinthiswoman!ThemoreIthinkofhernonsenseandobstinacy,thelesspatienceIhavewithher.Isitpossibleshecandoherself,herfamily,herfriends,somuchjusticeanyotherway,asbymarryingme?Wereshesuresheshouldlivebutaday,sheoughttodieawife.Ifherchristianrevengewillnotletherwishtodosoforherownsake,oughtshenotforthesakeofherfamily,andofhersex,whichshepretendssometimestohavesomuchconcernfor?AndifnosakeisdearenoughtomoveherHarlowe-spiritinmyfavour,hassheanytitletothepitythousopitifullyartalwaysbespeakingfor

her?

Astothedifferencewhichherletterhasmadebetweenmeandthestupidfamilyhere,[andImusttelltheeweareallbrokeinpieces,]Ivaluenotthatofabutton.Theyarefoolstoanathematizeandcurseme,whocangivethemtencursesforone,weretheytoholditforadaytogether.

Ihaveonehalfofthehousetomyself;andthatthebest;forthegreatenjoythatleastwhichcoststhemmost:grandeurandusearetwothings:



thecommonpartistheir's;thestatepartismine:andhereIlordit,andwilllordit,aslongasIplease;whilethetwopursysisters,theoldgoutybrother,andthetwomustynieces,arestivedupintheotherhalf,anddarenotstirforfearofmeetingme:whom,(that'sthejestofit,)theyhaveforbiddencomingintotheirapartments,asIhavethemintomine.AndsoIhavethemallprisoners,whileIrangeaboutasIplease.Prettydogsanddoggessestoquarrelandbarkatme,andyet,wheneverIappear,afraidtopopoutoftheirkennels;or,ifoutbeforetheyseeme,atthesightofmerungrowlinginagain,withtheirflaptears,theirsweepingdewlaps,andtheirquiveringtailscurlinginwards.

Andhere,whileIamthusworthilywagingwarwithbeetles,drones,wasps,andhornets,andamallonfirewiththerageofslightedlove,thouartregalingthyselfwithphlegmandrock-water,andartgoingonwiththyreformation-schemeandthyexultationsinmymisfortunes!

Thedeviltaketheeforaninsensibledough-bakedvarlet!Ihavenomorepatiencewiththeethanwiththelady;forthouknowestnothingeitherofloveorfriendship,butartasunworthyoftheone,asincapableoftheother;elsewouldstthounotrejoice,asthoudostunderthegrimaceofpity,inmydisappointments.

Andthouartaprettyfellow,artthounot?toengagetotranscribeforhersomepartsofmyletterswrittentotheeinconfidence?Lettersthat

thoushouldestsoonerhavepartedwiththycursedtongue,thanhaveownedthatthoueverhadstreceivedsuch:yetthesearenowtobecommunicatedtoher!ButIchargethee,andwoebetotheeifitbetoolate!thatthoudonotobligeherwithalineofmine.

Ifthouhastdoneit,theleastvengeanceIwilltakeistobreakthroughmyhonourgiventotheenottovisither,asthouwilthavebrokenthroughthinetome,incommunicatingletterswrittenunderthesealoffriendship.

Iamnowconvinced,toosadlyformyhopes,byherlettertomycousinCharlotte,thatsheisdeterminednevertohaveme.

Unprecedentedwickedness,shecallsminetoher.Buthowdoessheknowwhatlove,initsflamingardour,willstimulatementodo?Howdoessheknowtherequisitedistinctionsofthewordssheusesinthiscase?--Tothinktheworst,andtobeabletomakecomparisonsintheseverydelicatesituations,mustshenotbelessdelicatethanIhadimaginedhertobe?--Butshehasheadthatthedevilisblack;andhavingamindtomakeoneofme,braystogether,inthemortarofherwildfancy,twentychimney-sweepers,inordertomakeonesootierthanordinaryriseoutofthedirtymass.

Butwhatawhirlwinddoessheraiseinmysoulbyherproudcontemptsofme!Never,never,wasmortalman'spridesomortified!Howdoesshesinkme,eveninmyowneyes!--'Herheartsincerelyrepulsesme,she

says,formyMEANNESS!'--Yetsheintendstoreapthebenefitofwhatshecallsso!--Curseuponherhaughtiness,andhermeanness,atthesametime!--Herhaughtinesstome,andhermeannesstoherownrelations;moreunworthyofkindredwithher,thanIcanbe,orIammeanindeed.

Yetwhobutmustadmire,whobutmustadoreher;Oh!thatcursed,cursedhouse!Butforthewomenofthat!--Thentheird----dpotions!Butforthose,hadherunimpairedintellects,andthemajestyofhervirtue,savedher,asonceitdidbyherhumbleeloquence,*anothertimebyherterrifyingmenacesagainstherownlife.**



*Inthefire-scene,Vol.V.LetterXVI.**Vol.VI.LetterXXXVI.inthepen-knife-scene.

Yetinboththesetofindherpoweroverme,andmyloveforher,andtohate,todespise,andtorefuseme!--Shemighthavedonethiswithsomeshowofjustice,hadthelast-intendedviolationbeenperpetrated:--buttogoawayconqueressandtriumphantineverylight!--Wellmayshedespisemeforsufferinghertodoso.

Sheleftmelowandmeanindeed!--Andtheimpressionholdswithher.--Icouldtearmyflesh,thatIgavehernotcause--thatIhumbledhernotindeed;--orthatIstaidnotintowntoattendhermotionsinsteadofLordM.'s,tillIcouldhaveexaltedmyself,bygivingtomyselfawifesuperiortoalltrial,toalltemptation.

Iwillventureonemorelettertoher,however;andifthatdon'tdo,orprocuremeananswer,thenwillIendeavourtoseeher,letwhatwillbetheconsequence.Ifshegetoutofmyway,Iwilldosomenoblemischieftothevixengirlwhomshemostloves,andthenquitthekingdomforever.

Andnow,Jack,sincethyhandisinatcommunicatingthecontentsofprivateletters,tellherthis,ifthouwilt.Andaddtoit,ThatifSHEabandonme,GODwill:andwhatthenwillbethefateof

HerLOVELACE.

LETTERLXXVIII

MR.LOVELACE,TOJOHNBELFORD,ESQ.[INANSWERTOLETTERLXV.OFTHISVOLUME.]

MONDAY,AUG.7.

Andsoyouhaveactuallydeliveredtothefairimplacableextractsofletterswrittenintheconfidenceoffriendship!Takecare--takecare,Belford--IdoindeedloveyoubetterthanIloveanymanintheworld:butthisisaverydelicatepoint.Thematterisgrownveryserioustome.Myheartisbentuponhavingher.AndhaveherIwill,thoughImarryherintheagoniesofdeath.

Sheisveryearnest,yousay,thatIwillnotoffertomolesther.That,letmetellher,willabsolutelydependuponherself,andtheanswershereturns,whetherbypenandink,orthecontemptuousoneofsilence,

whichshebestoweduponmylastfourtoher:andIwillwriteitinsuchhumble,andinsuchreasonableterms,that,ifshebenotatrueHarlowe,sheshallforgiveme.Butastotheexecutorshipwhichsheisforconferringuponthee--thoushaltnotbeherexecutor:letmeperishifthoushalt.--Norshallshedie.Nobodyshallbeanything,nobodyshalldaretobeanything,toher,butI--thyhappinessisalreadytoogreat,tobeadmitteddailytoherpresence;tolookuponher,totalktoher,tohearhertalk,whileIamforbidtocomewithinviewofherwindow--Whatareprobationisthis,ofthemanwhowasoncemoredeartoherthanallthemenintheworld!--Andnowtobeabletolookdownuponme,while



herexaltedheadishidfrommeamongthestars,sometimeswithscorn,atothertimeswithpity;Icannotbearit.

ThisItellthee,thatifIhavenotsuccessinmyeffortbyletter,Iwillovercomethecreepingfollythathasfounditswaytomyheart,orIwilltearitoutinherpresence,andthrowitather's,thatshemayseehowmuchmoretenderthanherownthatorganis,whichshe,andyou,andeveryoneelse,havetakenthelibertytocallcallous.

Givenoticeofthepeoplewholivebackandedge,andoneitherhand,ofthecursedmother,toremovetheirbesteffects,ifIamrejected:forthefirstvengeanceIshalltakewillbetosetfiretothatdenofserpents.Norwilltherebeanyfearoftakingthemwhentheyareinanyactthathastherelishofsalvationinit,asShakspearesays--sothatmyrevenge,iftheyperishintheflamesIshalllightup,willbecompleteastothem.

LETTERLXXIX

MR.LOVELACETOMISSCLARISSAHARLOWEMONDAY,AUG.7.

LittleasIhavereasontoexpecteitheryourpatientear,orforgivingheart,yetcannotIforbeartowritetoyouoncemore,(asamorepardonableintrusion,perhaps,thanavisitwouldbe,)tobegofyoutoputitinmypowertoatone,asfarasitispossibletoatone,fortheinjuriesIhavedoneyou.

Yourangelicpurity,andmyawakenedconscience,arestandingrecordsofyourexaltedmerit,andofmydetestablebaseness:butyourforgivenesswilllaymeunderaneternalobligationtoyou.--Forgivemethen,mydearestlife,myearthlygood,thevisibleanchorofmyfuturehope!--Asyou,(whobelieveyouhavesomethingtobeforgivenfor,)hopeforpardonyourself,forgiveme,andconsenttomeetme,uponyourownconditions,

andinwhosecompanyyouplease,attheholyaltar,andtogiveyourselfatitletothemostrepentantandaffectionateheartthateverbeatinahumanbosom.

But,perhaps,atimeofprobationmayberequired.Itmaybeimpossibleforyou,aswellfromindispositionasdoubt,sosoontoreceivemetoabsolutefavourasmyheartwishestobereceived.Inthiscase,Iwillsubmittoyourpleasure;andthereshallbenopenancewhichyoucanimposethatIwillnotcheerfullyundergo,ifyouwillbepleasedtogivemehopethat,afteranexpiation,supposeofmonths,whereintheregularityofmyfuturelifeandactionsshallconvinceyouofmyreformation,youwillatlastbemine.

Letmebegthenthefavourofafewlines,encouragingmeinthisconditionalhope,ifitmustnotbeastillnearerhope,andamoregenerousencouragement.

Ifyourefusemethis,youwillmakemedesperate.ButeventhenImust,atallevents,throwmyselfatyourfeet,thatImaynotchargemyselfwiththeomissionofanyearnest,anyhumbleeffort,tomoveyouinmyfavour:forinYOU,Madam,inYOURforgiveness,arecentredmyhopesastobothworlds:sincetobereprobatedfinallybyyou,willleavemewithoutexpectationofmercyfromabove!ForIamnowawakenedenoughto



thinkthattobeforgivenbyinjuredinnocentsisnecessarytotheDivinepardon;theAlmightyputtingintothepowerofsuch,(asisreasonabletobelieve,)thewretchwhocauselesslyandcapitallyoffendsthem.Andwhocanbeentitledtothispower,ifYOUarenot?

Yourcause,Madam,inaword,Ilookupontobethecauseofvirtue,and,assuch,thecauseofGod.AndmayInotexpectthatHewillassertitintheperditionofaman,whohasactedbyapersonofthemostspotlesspurityasIhavedone,ifyou,byrejectingme,showthatIhaveoffendedbeyondthepossibilityofforgiveness.

Idomostsolemnlyassureyouthatnotemporalorworldlyviewsinducemetothisearnestaddress.Ideservenotforgivenessfromyou.NordomyLordM.andhissistersfromme.IdespisethemfrommyheartforpresumingtoimaginethatIwillbecontrouledbytheprospectofanybenefitsintheirpowertoconfer.Thereisnotapersonbreathing,butyourself,whoshallprescribetome.Yourwholeconduct,Madam,hasbeensonoblyprincipled,andyourresentmentsaresoadmirablyjust,thatyouappeartomeeveninadivinelight;andinaninfinitelymoreamiableoneatthesametimethanyoucouldhaveappearedin,hadyounotsufferedthebarbarouswrongs,thatnowfillmymindwithanguishandhorroratmyownrecollectedvillanytothemostexcellentofwomen.

Irepeat,thatallIbegforthepresentisafewlinestoguidemy

doubtfulsteps;and,ifpossibleforyousofartocondescend,toencouragemetohopethat,ifIcanjustifymypresentvowsbymyfutureconduct,Imaybepermittedthehonourtostylemyself,

Eternallyyour's,R.LOVELACE.

LETTERLXXX

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOLORDM.ANDTOTHELADIESOFHISHOUSE[INREPLYTOMISSMONTAGUE'SOFAUG.7.SEELETTERLXXVI.OFTHISVOLUME.]

TUESDAY,AUG.8.

Excuseme,mygoodLord,andmyever-honouredLadies,fromacceptingofyournoblequarterlybounty;andallowmetoreturn,withallgratefulacknowledgement,andtruehumility,theenclosedearnestofyourgoodnesstome.IndeedIhavenoneedoftheone,andcannotpossiblywanttheother:but,neverthelesshavesuchasenseofyourgenerousfavour,that,tomylasthour,Ishallhavepleasureincontemplatinguponit,andbeproudoftheplaceIholdintheesteemofsuchvenerablepersons,towhomIoncehadtheambitiontohopetoberelated.

Butgivemeleavetoexpressmyconcernthatyouhavebanishedyour

kinsmanfromyourpresenceandfavour:sincenow,perhaps,hewillbeunderlessrestraintthanever;andsinceIinparticular,whohadhopedbyyourinfluencetoremainunmolestedfortheremainderofmydays,mayagainbesubjectedtohispersecutions.

Hehasnot,mygoodLord,andmydearLadies,offendedagainstyou,ashehasagainstme;yetyoucouldallverygenerouslyintercedeforhimwithme:andshallIbeveryimproper,ifIdesire,formyownpeace-sake;forthesakeofotherpoorcreatures,whomaystillbeinjuredbyhim,ifhebemadequitedesperate;andforthesakeofallyourworthyfamily;that



youwillextendtohimthatforgivenesswhichyouhopeforfromme?andthistherather,asIpresumetothink,thathisdaringandimpetuousspiritwillnotbesubduedbyviolentmethods;sinceIhavenodoubtthatthegratifyingofapresentpassionwillbealwaysmoreprevalentwithhimthananyfutureprospects,howeverunwarrantabletheone,orbeneficialtheother.

Yourresentmentsonmyaccountareextremelygenerous,asyourgoodnesstomeistrulynoble:butIamnotwithouthopethathewillbeproperlyaffectedbytheevilshehasmademesuffer;andthat,whenIamlaidlowandforgotten,yourwholehonourablefamilywillbeenabledtorejoiceinhisreformation;andseemanyofthosehappyyearstogether,which,mygoodLord,andmydearLadies,yousokindlywishto

Yourever-gratefulandobligedCLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERLXXXI

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.THURSDAYNIGHT,AUG.10.

YouhavebeeninformedbyTourville,howmuchBelton'sillnessandaffairshaveengagedme,aswellasMowbrayandhim,sincemyformer.IcalledatSmith'sonMonday,inmywaytoEpsom.

Theladywasgonetochapel:butIhadthesatisfactiontohearshewasnotworse;andleftmycompliments,andanintimationthatIshouldbeoutoftownforthreeorfourdays.

IrefermyselftoTourville,whowillletyouknowthedifficultywehadtodriveoutthismeekmistress,andfrugalmanager,withhercubs,andtogivethepoorfellow'ssisterpossessionforhimofhisownhouse;heskulkingmeanwhileataninnatCroydon,toodispiritedtoappearinhis

owncause.

ButImustobservethatwewereprobablybutjustintimetosavetheshatteredremainsofhisfortunefromthisrapaciouswoman,andheraccomplices:for,ashecannotlivelong,andshethinksso,wefoundshehadcertainlytakenmeasurestosetupamarriage,andkeeppossessionofallforherselfandhersons.

TourvillewilltellyouhowIwasforcedtochastisethequondamhostlerinhersight,beforeIcoulddrivehimoutofthehouse.Hehadtheinsolencetolayhandsonme:andImadehimtakebutonestepfromthetoptothebottomofapairofstairs.Ithoughthisneckandallhisboneshadbeenbroken.Andthen,hebeingcarriedoutneck-and-heels,

Thomasinethoughtfittowalkoutafterhim.

Charmingconsequencesofkeeping;thestatewehavebeensofondofextolling!--Whateveritmaybethoughtofinstronghealth,sicknessanddecliningspiritsinthekeeperwillbringhimtoseethedifference.

Sheshouldsoonhavehim,shetoldaconfidant,inthespaceofsixfootbyfive;meaninghisbed:andthenshewouldletnobodycomenearhimbutwhomshepleased.Thishostler-fellow,Isuppose,wouldthenhavebeenhisphysician;hiswillreadymadeforhim;andwidows'weedsprobably



readyprovided;whoknows,butshetoappearintheminhisownsight?asonceIknewaninstanceinawickedwife;insultingahusbandshehated,whenshethoughthimpastrecovery:thoughitgavethemansuchspirits,andsuchaturn,thathegotoverit,andlivedtoseeherinhercoffin,dressedoutintheveryweedsshehadinsultedhimin.

Somuch,forthepresent,forBeltonandhisThomasine.

***

Ibegintopitytheeheartily,nowIseetheeinearnestinthefruitlesslovethouexpressesttothisangelofawoman;andtherather,as,saywhatthouwilt,itisimpossiblesheshouldgetoverherillness,andherfriends'implacableness,ofwhichshehashadfreshinstances.

IhopethouartnotindeeddispleasedwiththeextractsIhavemadefromthylettersforher.Thelettingherknowthejusticethouhastdonetohervirtueinthem,issomuchinfavourofthyingenuousness,(aquality,letmerepeat,thatgivestheeasuperiorityovercommonlibertines,)thatIthinkinmyheartIwasright;thoughtoanyotherwoman,andtoonewhohadnotknowntheworstoftheethatshecouldknow,itmighthavebeenwrong.

Iftheendwilljustifythemeans,itisplain,thatIhavedonewellwithregardtoyeboth;sinceIhavemadehereasier,andtheeappearinabetterlighttoher,thanotherwisethouwouldsthavedone.

Butif,nevertheless,thouartdissatisfiedwithmyhavingobligedherinapoint,whichIacknowledgetobedelicate,letuscanvasthismatteratourfirstmeeting:andthenIwillshowtheewhattheextractswere,andwhatconnectionsIgavetheminthyfavour.

ButsurelythoudostnotpretendtosaywhatIshall,orshallnotdo,astotheexecutorship.

Iammyownman,Ihope.Ithinkthoushouldstbegladtohavethejustificationofhermemorylefttoone,who,atthesametime,thoumayestbeassured,willtreatthee,andthyactions,withallthelenitythecasewilladmit.

Icannothelpexpressingmysurpriseatoneinstanceofthyself-partiality;andthatis,wherethousayestshehasneed,indeed,tocryoutformercyherselffromherfriends,whoknowsnothowtoshowany.

Surelythoucanstnotthinkthecasesalike--forshe,asIunderstand,desiresbutalastblessing,andalastforgiveness,forafaultinamannerinvoluntary,ifafaultatall;anddoesnotsomuchashopetobe

received;thou,tobeforgivenpremeditatedwrongs,(which,nevertheless,sheforgives,onconditiontobenomoremolestedbythee;)andhopesttobereceivedintofavour,andtomakethefinestjewelintheworldthyabsolutepropertyinconsequenceofthatforgiveness.

Iwillnowbrieflyproceedtorelatewhathaspassedsincemylast,astotheexcellentlady.BytheaccountIshallgivethee,thouwiltseethatshehastroublesenoughuponher,allspringingoriginallyfromthyself,withoutneedingtoaddmoretothembynewvexations.AndaslongasthoucanstexertthyselfsoverycavalierlyatM.Hall,whereeveryone



isthyprisoner,Iseenotbutthebraveryofthyspiritmaybeaswellgratifiedindomineeringthereoverhalfadozenpersonsofrankanddistinction,asitcouldbeoveranhelplessorphan,asImaycallthislady,sinceshehasnotasinglefriendtostandbyher,ifIdonot;andwhowillthinkherselfhappy,ifshecanrefugeherselffromthee,andfromalltheworld,inthearmsofdeath.

MylastwasdatedonSaturday.

OnSunday,incompliancewithherdoctor'sadvice,shetookalittleairing.Mrs.Lovick,andMr.Smithandhiswife,werewithher.AfterbeingatHighgatechapelatdivineservice,shetreatedthemwithalittlerepast;andintheafternoonwasatIslingtonchurch,inherwayhome;returningtolerablycheerful.

Shehadreceivedseverallettersinmyabsence,asMrs.Lovickacquaintedme,besidesyour's.Your's,itseems,muchdistressedher;butsheorderedthemessenger,whopressedforananswer,tobetoldthatitdidnotrequireanimmediateone.

OnWednesdayshereceivedaletterfromheruncleHarlowe,*inanswertooneshehadwrittentohermotheronSaturdayonherknees.Itmustbeaverycruelone,Mrs.Lovicksays,bytheeffectsithaduponher:for,whenshereceivedit,shewasintendingtotakeanafternoonairingina

coach:butwasthrownintosoviolentafitofhystericsuponit,thatshewasforcedtoliedown;and(beingnotrecoveredbyit)togotobedabouteighto'clock.

*SeeLetterLXXXIV.ofthisvolume.

OnThursdaymorningshewasupveryearly;andhadrecoursetotheScripturestocalmhermind,asshetoldMrs.Lovick:and,weakasshewas,wouldgoinachairtoLincoln's-innchapel,abouteleven.Shewasbroughthomealittlebetter;andthensatdowntowritetoheruncle.Butwasobligedtoleaveoffseveraltimes--tostruggle,asshetoldMrs.

Lovick,foranhumbletemper.'Myheart,saidshetothegoodwoman,isaproudheart,andnotyet,Ifind,enoughmortifiedtomycondition;but,dowhatIcan,willbeforprescribingresentingthingstomypen.'

IarrivedintownfromBelton'sthisThursdayevening;andwentdirectlytoSmith's.Shewastooilltoreceivemyvisit.But,onsendingupmycompliments,shesentmedownwordthatsheshouldbegladtoseemeinthemorning.

Mrs.LovickobligedmewiththecopyofameditationcollectedbytheladyfromtheScriptures.ShehasentitleditPoormortalsthecauseoftheirownmisery;soentitled,Ipresume,withintentiontotakeofftheedgeofherrepiningsathardshipssodisproportionedtoherfault,were

herfaultevenasgreatassheisinclinedtothinkit.Wemaysee,bythis,themethodshetakestofortifyhermind,andtowhichsheowes,inagreatmeasure,themagnanimitywithwhichshebearsherundeservedpersecutions.

MEDITATION

POORMORTALSTHECAUSEOFTHEIROWNMISERY.



Saynotthou,itisthroughtheLordthatIfellaway;forthououghtestnottodothethingthathehateth.

Saynotthou,hehathcausedmetoerr;forhehathnoneedofthesinfulman.

Hehimselfmademanfromthebeginning,andlefthiminthehandofhisowncounsel;

Ifthouwilt,tokeepthecommandments,andtoperformacceptablefaithfulness.

Hehathsetfireandwaterbeforethee:stretchforththinehandtowhitherthouwilt.

Hehathcommandednomantodowickedly:neitherhathhegivenanymanlicensetosin.

Andnow,Lord,whatismyhope?Trulymyhopeisonlyinthee.

Delivermefromallmyoffences:andmakemenotarebukeuntothefoolish.

Whenthouwithrebukedostchastenmanforsin,thoumakesthisbeautytoconsumeaway,likeasitwereamothfrettingagarment:everyman,therefore,isvanity.

Turntheeuntome,andhavemercyuponme;forIamdesolateandafflicted.

Thetroublesofmyheartareenlarged.Obringthoumeoutofmydistresses!

***

Mrs.Smithgavemethefollowingparticularsofaconversationthatpassedbetweenherselfandayoungclergyman,onTuesdayafternoon,who,asitappears,wasemployedtomakeinquiriesabouttheladybyherfriends.

Hecameintotheshopinariding-habit,andaskedforsomeSpanishsnuff;andfindingonlyMrs.Smiththere,hedesiredtohavealittletalkwithherintheback-shop.

Hebeataboutthebushinseveraldistantquestions,andatlastbegantotalkmoredirectlyaboutMissHarlowe.

Hesaidheknewherbeforeherfall,[thatwashisimpudentword;]andgavethesubstanceofthefollowingaccountofher,asIcollecteditfromMrs.Smith:

'Shewasthen,hesaid,theadmirationanddelightofeverybody:helamented,withgreatsolemnity,herbacksliding;anotherofhisphrases.Mrs.Smithsaid,hewasafinescholar;forhespokeseveralthingssheunderstoodnot;andeitherinLatinorGreek,shecouldnottellwhich;butwassogoodastogivehertheEnglishofthemwithoutasking.Afinething,shesaid,forascholartobesocondescending!'



Hesaid,'Hergoingoffwithsovilearakehadgivengreatscandalandoffencetoalltheneighbouringladies,aswellastoherfriends.'

HetoldMrs.Smith'howmuchsheusedtobefollowedbyeveryone'seye,whenevershewentabroad,ortochurch;andpraisedandblessedbyeverytongue,asshepassed;especiallybythepoor:thatshegavethefashiontothefashionable,withoutseemingherselftointendit,ortoknowshedid:that,however,itwaspleasanttoseeladiesimitateherindressandbehaviour,whobeingunabletocomeuptoheringraceandease,exposedbuttheirownaffectationandawkwardness,atthetimethattheythoughtthemselvessecureofgeneralapprobation,becausetheyworethesamethings,andputthemoninthesamemanner,thatshedid,whohadeverybody'sadmiration;littleconsidering,thatwereherpersonliketheir's,orifshehadtheirdefects,shewouldhavebroughtupaverydifferentfashion;forthatnaturewasherguideineverything,andeaseherstudy;which,joinedwithamingleddignityandcondescensioninherairandmanner,whethershereceivedorpaidacompliment,distinguishedheraboveallhersex.

'Hespokenot,hesaid,hisownsentimentsonlyonthisoccasion,butthoseofeverybody:forthatthepraisesofMissClarissaHarloweweresuchafavouritetopic,thatapersonwhocouldnotspeakwelluponanyothersubject,wassuretospeakwelluponthat;becausehecouldsay

nothingbutwhathehadheardrepeatedandapplaudedtwentytimesover.'Henceitwas,perhaps,thatthisnoviceaccountedforthebestthingshesaidhimself;thoughImustownthatthepersonalknowledgeofthelady,whichIamfavouredwith,madeiteasytometolickintoshapewhatthegoodwomanreportedtome,asthecharactergivenherbytheyoungLevite:Forwho,evennow,inherdeclineofhealth,seesnotthatalltheseattributesbelongtoher?

Isupposehehasnotbeenlongcomefromcollege,andnowthinkshehasnothingtodobuttoblazeawayforascholaramongtheignorant;assuchyoungfellowsareapttothinkthosewhocannotcapverseswiththem,andtellushowanantientauthorexpressedhimselfinLatinonasubject,

uponwhich,however,theymayknowhow,aswellasthatauthor,toexpressthemselvesinEnglish.

Mrs.Smithwassotakenwithhim,thatshewouldfainhaveintroducedhimtothelady,notquestioningbutitwouldbeveryacceptabletohertoseeonewhoknewherandherfriendssowell.Butthishedeclinedforseveralreasons,ashecallthem;whichhegave.Onewas,thatpersonsofhisclothshouldbeverycautiousofthecompanytheywerein,especiallywheresexwasconcerned,andwhereawomanhadslurredherreputation--[IwishIhadbeentherewhenhegavehimselftheseairs.]Another,thathewasdesiredtoinformhimselfofherpresentwayoflife,andwhohervisiterswere;for,astothepraisesMrs.Smithgavethelady,hehinted,thatsheseemedtobeagood-naturedwoman,and

might(thoughforthelady'ssakehehopednot)betoopartialandshort-sightedtobetrustedto,absolutely,inaconcernofsohighanatureasheintimatedthetaskwaswhichhehadundertaken;noddingoutwordsofdoubtfulimport,andassumingairsofgreatsignificance(asIcouldgather)throughoutthewholeconversation.AndwhenMrs.Smithtoldhimthattheladywasinaverybadstateofhealth,hegaveacarelessshrug--Shemaybeveryill,sayshe:herdisappointmentsmusthavetouchedhertothequick:butsheisnotbadenough,Idaresay,yet,toatoneforherverygreatlapse,andtoexpecttobeforgivenbythosewhomshehassomuchdisgraced.



Astarched,conceitedcoxcomb!whatwouldIgivehehadfalleninmyway!

Hedeparted,highlysatisfiedwithhimself,nodoubt,andassuredofMrs.Smith'sgreatopinionofhissagacityandlearning:butbidhernotsayanythingtotheladyabouthimorhisinquiries.AndI,forverydifferentreasons,enjoinedthesamething.

Iamglad,however,forherpeaceofmind'ssake,thattheybegintothinkitbehovesthemtoinquireabouther.

LETTERLXXXII

MR.BELFORD,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.FRIDAY,AUG.11.

[Mr.BelfordacquaintshisfriendwiththegenerosityofLordM.andtheLadiesofhisfamily;andwiththeLady'sgratefulsentimentsupontheoccasion.

Hesays,thatinhopestoavoidthepainofseeinghim,(Mr.Lovelace,)

sheintendstoanswerhisletterofthe7th,thoughmuchagainstherinclination.]

'Shetookgreatnotice,'saysMr.Belford,'ofthatpassageinyour's,whichmakesnecessarytotheDivinepardon,theforgivenessofapersoncauselesslyinjured.

'Hergrandfather,Ifind,hasenabledherateighteenyearsofagetomakeherwill,andtodevisegreatpartofhisestatetowhomshepleasesofthefamily,andtherestoutofit(ifshediesingle)atherowndiscretion;andthistocreaterespecttoher!asheapprehendedthatshewouldbeenvied:andshenowresolvestosetaboutmakingherwilloutofhand.'

[Mr.Belfordinsistsuponthepromisehehadmadehim,nottomolesttheLady:andgiveshimthecontentsofheranswertoLordM.andtheLadiesofhisLordship'sfamily,decliningtheirgenerousoffers.SeeLetterLXXX.ofthisvolume.

LETTERLXXXIII

MISSCL.HARLOWE,TOROBERTLOVELACE,ESQ.FRIDAY,AUG.11.

Itisacruelalternativetobeeitherforcedtoseeyou,ortowritetoyou.Butawillofmyownhasbeenlongdeniedme;andtoavoidagreaterevil,nay,nowImaysay,thegreatest,Iwrite.

WereIcapableofdisguisingorconcealingmyrealsentiments,Imightsafely,Idaresay,giveyoutheremotehopeyourequest,andyetkeepallmyresolutions.ButImusttellyou,Sir,(itbecomesmycharactertotellyou,that,wereItolivemoreyearsthanperhapsImayweeks,



andtherewerenotanothermanintheworld,Icouldnot,Iwouldnot,beyour's.

Thereisnomeritinperformingaduty.

Religionenjoinsmenotonlytoforgiveinjuries,buttoreturngoodforevil.Itisallmyconsolation,andIblessGodforgivingmethat,thatIamnowinsuchastateofmind,withregardtoyou,thatIcancheerfullyobeyitsdictates.AndaccordinglyItellyou,that,whereveryougo,Iwishyouhappy.AndinthisImeantoincludeeverygoodwish.

Andnowhaving,withgreatreluctanceIown,compliedwithoneofyourcompulsatoryalternatives,Iexpectthefruitsofit.

CLARISSAHARLOWE.

LETTERLXXXIV

MR.JOHNHARLOWE,TOMISSCL.HARLOWE[INANSWERTOHER'STOHERMOTHER.SEELETTERLXXV.OFTHISVOLUME.]MONDAY,AUG.7.

POORUNGRATEFUL,NAUGHTYKINSWOMAN!

Yourmotherneithercaring,norbeingpermitted,towrite,Iamdesiredtosetpentopaper,thoughIhadresolvedagainstit.

AndsoIamtotellyou,thatyourletters,joinedtotheoccasionofthem,almostbreaktheheartsofusall.

Werewesureyouhadseenyourfolly,andweretrulypenitent,and,atthesametime,thatyouweresoveryillasyoupretend,Iknownotwhatmightbedoneforyou.Butweareallacquaintedwithyourmovingwayswhenyouwanttocarryapoint.

Unhappygirl!howmiserablehaveyoumadeusall!We,whousedtovisitwithsomuchpleasure,nowcannotenduretolookupononeanother.

Ifyouhadnotknow,uponanhundredoccasions,howdearyouoncewastous,youmightjudgeofitnow,wereyoutoknowhowmuchyourfollyhasunhingedusall.

Naughty,naughtygirl!Youseethefruitsofpreferringarakeandlibertinetoamanofsobrietyandmorals,againstfullwarning,againstbetterknowledge.Andsuchamodestcreature,too,asyouwere!Howcouldyouthinkofsuchanunworthypreference!

Yourmothercan'task,andyoursisterknowsnotinmodestyhowtoask;andsoIaskyou,ifyouhaveanyreasontothinkyourselfwithchildbythisvillain?--Youmustanswerthis,andanswerittruly,beforeanythingcanberesolveduponaboutyou.

Youmaywellbetouchedwithadeepremorseforyourmisdeeds.CouldIeverhavethoughtthatmydoting-piece,aseveryonecalledyou,wouldhavedonethus?TobesureIlovedyoutoowell.Butthatisovernow.Yet,thoughIwillnotpretendtoanswerforanybodybutmyself,formyownpartIsayGodforgiveyou!andthisisallfrom



Yourafflicteduncle,JOHNHARLOWE.

***

ThefollowingMEDITATIONwasstitchedtothebottomofthisletterwithblacksilk.

MEDITATION

Othatthouwouldsthidemeinthegrave!thatthouwouldstkeepmesecret,tillthywrathbepast!

Myfaceisfoulwithweeping;andonmyeye-lidistheshadowofdeath.

Myfriendsscornme;butmineeyepourethouttearsuntoGod.

Adreadfulsoundisinmyears;inprosperitythedestroyercameuponme!

Ihavesinned!whatshallIdountothee,OthouPreserverofmen!why

hastthousetmeasamarkagainstthee;sothatIamaburdentomyself!WhenIsaymybedshallcomfortme;mycouchshalleasemycomplaint;

Thenthouscarestmewithdreams,andterrifiestmethroughvisions.

Sothatmysoulchoosethstrangling,anddeathratherthanlife.

Iloathit!Iwouldnotlivealways!--Letmealone;formydaysarevanity!

Hehathmademeabye-wordofthepeople;andaforetimeIwasasatabret.

Mydaysarepast,mypurposesarebrokenoff,eventhethoughtsofmyheart.

WhenIlookedforgood,thenevilcameuntome;andwhenIwaitedforlight,thencamedarkness.

Andwherenowismyhope?--

YetallthedaysofmyappointedtimewillIwait,tillmychangecome.

LETTERLXXXV

MISSCLARISSAHARLOWE,TOJOHNHARLOWE,ESQ.THURSDAY,AUG.10.

HONOUREDSIR,

ItwasanactofcharityIbegged:onlyforalastblessing,thatImightdieinpeace.Iasknottobereceivedagain,asmyseveresister[Oh!



thatIhadnotwrittentoher!]ispleasedtosay,ismyview.LetthatgracebedeniedmewhenIdo.

Icouldnotlookforwardtomylastscenewithcomfort,withoutseeking,atleast,toobtaintheblessingIpetitionedfor;andthatwithacontritionsodeep,thatIdeservednot,wereitknown,tobeturnedoverfromthetendernatureofamother,totheupbraidingpenofanuncle!andtobewoundedbyacruelquestion,putbyhiminashockingmanner:andwhichalittle,averylittletime,willbetteranswerthanIcan:forIamnoteitherahardenedorshamelesscreature:ifIwere,IshouldnothavebeensosolicitoustoobtainthefavourIsuedfor.

AndpermitmetosaythatIaskeditaswellformyfatherandmother'ssake,asformyown;forIamsuretheyatleastwillbeuneasy,afterIamgone,thattheyrefusedittome.

Ishouldstillbegladtohavetheirs,andyour's,Sir,andallyourblessings,andyourprayers:but,deniedinsuchamanner,Iwillnotpresumeagaintoaskit:relyingentirelyontheAlmighty's;whichisneverdenied,whensupplicatedforwithsuchtruepenitenceasIhopemineis.

Godpreservemydearuncle,andallmyhonouredfriends!prays

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