The Name Of The Game

by

Phil McEntee & Pauline Beach

Cast list:

Potato Head Gracie SmithSapphire Knight Liam MitchellGarnet Knight David McClary-RojasSpud Abigail BaughSapphire Queen Mary WheelerGarnet Queen Katie OzleyThe Usual Suspects: Miss Scarlet Hailey Brantley Professor Plum Lucas Mitchell Miss Peacock Priya AtchleyRed Checker #1 Nathan Brantley Black Checker #1 Logan PenningtonRed Checker #2 Atticus PlottBlack Checker #2 Brayden TolinTiddlywink #1 Julia SmithTiddlywink #2 Blakeley BaggettTiddlywink #3 Adelyn RogersTiddlywink #4 Emily StewartTiddlywink #5 Falynn WolfeTiddlywink #6 Zoe Jones

The Casino Chips Alba Vaccarella Joshua Dove Alexandra Gonzales-Valencia Carolyn Deerman

Little Deuce Kennedy ReaserUNO Baylen KeyDomino Madison Reaser Sapphire King Emanuel CardenasGarnet King Daniel CardenasWii Emma McSwainScene One:

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Curtains closed. Potato Head enters right, takes pen and paper and begins writing. Scratches out words, begins again, crosses out more. Finally rips out paper, wads it up and tosses it away. Paces to center, obviously thinking.

Music cue. NG#1

Potato Head: (sings)

It was a dark and stormy night!No! You know, that isn't quite right!(Spoken) Actually there were two knights.(Sings) One was dark and the other quite bright! I guess you might say rose.Wait! Oh darn it! The red one was garnet!

It was the Sapphire and the Garnet Knight pounding on my door in the middle of the night!Hounding me to come to investigate their plight!I heard their hooves battering, banging on my door.Their absurd moves clattering, I could take no more. So I said, "Won't you please come in?"

Sapphire and Garnet Knights enter left.

Sapphire Knight: (sings)

You are requested to come immediately!

Garnet Knight: (sings)

With the utmost, absolute discretion.

Sapphire Knight: (Sings)

We are told we can trust you completely!

Garnet Knight: (Sings)

You're the absolute best in your profession!

Sapphire Knight: (sings)

My Queen requests your presence today.

Garnet Knight: (sings)

My Queen requests your presence today.

Sapphire Knight: (sings)

I strongly suggest that you start right away!

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Garnet Knight: (Sings)

I strongly suggest that you start right away!

Sapphire Knight:

My Queen!

Garnet Knight:

My Queen!

Sapphire Knight:

My Queen!

Garnet Knight:

My Queen!

Sapphire Knight:

My Queen!

Garnet Knight:

My Queen!

Sapphire and Garnet Knights:

My!

Sapphire and Garnet Knights: (sing together)

Our Queens would ask you most courteously, If you would be most kind.Our situation disasterously leaves us in a bind.We sincerely ask of you. Would you see what you can do?

Potato Head: (sings) So I said, "May I bring a Friend?"

Sapphire and Garnet Knights:

Neigh! Nay!

Potato Head:

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Okay. I guess I'll stay.

Sapphire and Garnet Knights:

Wait! Wait! Okay.

Potato Head:

We'll be there without delay!

The Knights exit left. Potato Head writes a quick note, folds it into a paper plane and flies it off, right. Spud enters left, unfolding the note.

Music cue: NG #2:

Spud: (sings)

Oh ho! The game's afoot!Let's go! We'll have a look!

Potato Head: (sings)

A dirty deed has been done!

Spud: (sings)

There's a rascal on the run!

Potato Head: (sings)

There's a battle to be won if we can find this villain!

Spud: (sings)

There's no time to waste!

Potato Head: (sings)

So hurry! Let's make haste!

Potato Head & Spud: (sing)

This scoundrel must be chased right to the end!Scene Two:

The courtyard between two castles, one Garnet, the other Sapphire. The Queens and their Knights enter left and right from their respective castles. Potato Head and Spud enter left front.

Potato Head: (whispers)

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Remember! Do not speak unless you are spoken to! Not a word until the Queen has spoken!

Spud: (whispers)

I know! You act like I've never mingled with royalty.

Potato Head:

Sssh!

Knights:

Your Majesties, . . . The detectives you requested: Potato Head and . . . Spud.

Spud:

Pleased to ...

Potato Head:

Ssh!

Queens:

Please. Relax. Thank you for coming so quickly. Would you care for tea?

Potato Head:

If it pleases Your Majesties, perhaps we just get down to business. Something has happened. How can we help?

Garnet Queen:

Of course. You are right. There is no time to lose.

Music cue: NG#3

Sapphire Queen: (sings)

We find ourselves in a delicate situation.

Garnet Queen: (sings)

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Please keep that in mind as you go about your investigation.

Sapphire Queen: (sings)

It's the very worst thing we ever could have feared.

Garnet Queen: (sings)

It seems that both our Kings have disappeared!

Sapphire and Garnet Queens: (sing)

On the very last minute of the very last hour of the very last day of our vacation!

Sapphire Queen: (sings)

They went off together on a holiday.

Garnet Queen: (sings)

But, they should have returned last Saturday!

Sapphire and Garnet Queens: (sing)

Now we're counting on you for the benefit of the Nation!

Potato Head:

So the Kings are . . .?

Garnet Queen:

Gone!

Sapphire Queen:

Vanished! Without a trace.

Spud:

Gone? Vanished? But . . . Without the Kings, the game is . . .

Potato Head:

Ssh!

Sapphire Queen:

As I said, this is a delicate situation. We fear the worst.

Garnet Queen:

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We fear foul play. We think the Kings have been abducted.

Sapphire Queen:

We've rounded up the usual suspects. Knights!

The Knights exit left and return with The Usual Suspects.

Garnet Queen:

We want you to interrogate them. Find out what they know.I suspect Miss Scarlet in the Conservatory . . . ,with the lead pipe.

Sapphire Queen:

I think it was Colonel Mustard in the Library . . ., with a rope!

Garnet Queen:

Perhaps it was Miss Peacock?

Potato Head:

Maybe we should let them tell us what they know. So. Where were you? What were you doing on . . ., let's see, April 1st, 2016?

Miss Peacock:

Go Fish!

Knights:

Listen you! None of that! Answer the question!

Miss Scarlet:

You listen! I've got an answer for you!

Music cue: NG#4

Miss Scarlet: (Sings)

You seem to believe that I'm the one!But you won't even tell me what you think that I've done!It appears to me that your case is pretty flimsy.Were we all brought here in a moment of whimsy?But now you've got me here and I want to know why,'Cause I don't know nothing and I've got an alibi!

Colonel Mustard: (sings)

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I was strollin' down the Avenue this afternoon.Feelin' so fine. Now I'm singin' a diff'rent tune!This has to be a case of mistaken identity!I swear I wasn't there! Nowhere in the vicinity!That's the whole truth! I've no reason to lie,Because, I know nothing! And, I have an alibi

Miss Peacock: (sings)

I was coming home this morning 'bout a quarter to four,Without any warning, they busted down my door!They said, "Come on down. We want to hear you sing."I said, "Give a girl a break fellas, I don't know a thing!"Enough is enough! I'm just about to cry.'Cause I don't know nothing and I've got an alibi!

All the Usual Suspects: (sing)

We shouldn't be here! There's no need to try,'Cause you don't know a thing, and we've got an alibi!

Potato Head:

So. . . . You sound pretty sure of yourselves. I'll ask again. Where were you on the night of April 1st, 2016?

Colonel Mustard:

That's easy. I'll tell where I was. I was at the Casino. With Little Deuce.

Miss Scarlet:

I was with Little Deuce. At the Casino.

Miss Peacock:

Same here. The Casino. With Little Deuce!

Potato Head:

Well. That's pretty convenient. Come on Spud. It's apparent now. Our next stop is the Casino. We need to talk to Little Deuce.

Spud:

Little Deuce? The Casino? Do you know Little Deuce?

Potato Head:

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Oh, I've known Little Deuce for a while. She's a card!

Scene Three: NG #5 Checkers Theme Music plays.

Red Checker #1 enters right, takes two steps and stops. Black Checker #1 enters left, takes two steps and stops.Red Checker #1 takes one step toward center.Black Checker #1 takes one step toward center.Red Checker #2 enters right, takes two steps and stops.Black Checker #2 enters left, takes two steps and stops.

Checkers continue alternating turns until they are positioned across the stage. They sit with backs toward the audience. Tiddlywinks enter left.

NG #6 Tiddlywinks Theme Music begins.

Tiddlywinks: (sing)

Tiddlywink, Tiddlywink! What do you think? What do you think?What do you think will happen when we tell them what we've seen?

Cannot delay! Cannot delay! Hurry this way! Hurry this way! Hurry this way to go to tell the Queen!

Tiddlywink #1: (sings)

Wait a bit! Wait a bit! Stop and think this through!They may get the wrong idea!They may think that we're to blame!They may think we're in the game,And that we made the Kings disappear.

Tiddlywink #2:

But the Kings are gone.

Tiddlywink #3:

Kidnapped!

Tiddlywink #4:

Abducted!

Tiddlywink #1: (Sings)

I strongly advise that we go about our way, and never reveal that we have a thing to say.Now, that's my advice, and I hope you won't shun it! 'Cause we don't even know who

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done it!

Tiddlywink #5:

But does "Who done it" know we don't know?

Tiddlywink #6:

I'm frightened!

Tiddlywinks exit left. Checkers turn to face audience.

NG #7:

Checker #1: (Sings)

Did you hear? Did you hear? The Kings have disappeared!

Checker #2: (Sings)

What was that? Kidnapped?

Checker #3: (Sings)

Unless I'm mistaken, the Kings were taken.

Checker #4: (Sings)

The Kings were abducted? Our game will be disrupted!

Checker #1: (Sings)

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Stop and think this through!If it's true that the Kings are gone,We still must play by the rules,It's up to us to carry on!Otherwise we will play the fools!

Checker #2: (Sings)

But, without the Kings . . ., the game is done.

Checker #3: (Sings)

Without the Kings . . ., there'll be no fun.

Checker #4: (Sings)

I can tell by the way you're grinning, You think there's a way of winning!

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Checker #1: (spoken)

Listen! I've been thumbing through the rule book. Look what I found!If we can reach the other side, we can be crowned! We can be Kings!

Checkers exit left, (singing:)

Make haste! Make haste! We have no time to waste! Think of the fame . . ., if we can save the game!

Scene Four: Curtains closed. Potato Head and Spud enter left.

Spud:

I . . . , I've never been in the Casino.

Potato Head:

It's easy to get distracted. Just remember we're working. Stay close to me. You'll be okay.

The curtains open. The Casino. Lights dim. The Casino Chips are back center. They come forward to greet Potato Head and Spud.

NG #8:

The Casino Chips: (Sing)

Come right in,Name your game,Play for fortune,Play for fame,Life may never be the same,When you play the game!

Spin the wheel,Roll the dice,Take a chance,Don't think twice!Life on Easy Street is nice,When you play the game!

Little Deuce enters right. She signals The Casino Chips who stop singing. The Casino Chips exit left. Little Deuce crosses to greet Potato Head and Spud.

Potato Head:

Mademoiselle Deuce! Just who I was hoping to see! You're doing well?

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Little Deuce:

Oh my! It has been quite some time. What a pleasure!

Potato Head:

The pleasure is mine, entirely. May I introduce my associate? Spud's the name.

Little Deuce:

Spud! That's adorable! I'll have to be twice as careful, now!

Spud:

Pleased to meet you, Madam. Er, Mademoiselle.

Little Deuce:

If I had known you were coming I would have reserved a table for you. The best! But, perhaps this will have to do. Please. What is the occasion for you to come calling?

Potato Head:

We just stopped by to verify a couple of stories we've been told. But, I saw on the marquee, "Under new management." What is that about? You've always been so independent.

Little Deuce:

Oh my! Look at the time? Our show is about to begin. I'm afraid we will have to talk another time. Another place? Not here! Not now! Please!

Potato Head:

Wait! Don't rush off. Someone is pressuring you. You're frightened. We can help. Who is scaring you?

Little Deuce:

Shssss! Hush! Not here! You don't know what you're up against?

Potato Head:

Just give me a name. We'll take it from there.

Uno and Domino enter right. Domino sees Little Deuce with Potato Head and Spud. She places her finger to her lips and shakes her head, "No."

Little Deuce:

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Please! Not a word! There is danger. I must go.

Potato Head:

Just a name?

Little Deuce:

You ask too much. But? Perhaps not. Listen to my song.

Announcer (From the booth):

Please welcome, Uno, Deuce, and Domino!

Little Deuce joins Uno and Domino. Music begins.

NG #9:

UNO: (sings)

There's a new game in town!Isn't it strange how everything can change?There's a new dame around,Now everything old is new all over again.

The UNOs dance.

Domino: (sings)

There's a whole new way to play.But, take my advice,You'd better think twice!If you lose you're going to pay.'Cause everything old is new all over again!

Uno: (sings)

If you think you know the rule,Take a look at yourself, are you playing the fool?You may think that's it's all cool,But, everything old is new all over again!

Uno, Domino and Little Deuce: (sing)

Yes, Everything old is new. All over again!

Lights off. A single spotlight finds Little Deuce and follows her to center stage. Music intro.

NG #10:

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Little Deuce: (sings)

If I say,Sil vous plaitYou say, "Oh no! No, no, no!"Do you know,What I say?Parlez-vous Francais?If I stay,Can we play?Voulez vous jeuavec moi. Ce soir?Ce soir!Le nom de jeu est oui!

Can you win,In the end?I say, "Oh non! Non, non, non!If I choose, you will lose.Mais alors, que de moi?We may claim, It's a game.All the same,Who's to blame?Not you?Not me!The name of the game is: WE !!!

Lights off. Lights dim. Uno, Domino and Little Deuce exit right. Sapphire and Garnet Knights enter left.

Sapphire Knight:

There you are!

Garnet Knight:

You must come quickly! There has been a development!

Sapphire Knight:

The Queens need you urgently!

Garnet Knight:

Come! Now!

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Spud:

But, we are waiting to talk to Little Deuce!

Potato Head:

She has told us all she is going to. Come on. Let's see what this is about?

Curtain closes

Scene Five: Curtains closed. The Checkers enter left, now wearing crowns.

Checkers: (Sing)

NG #11:

We did it!We did it!Can you believe we made it to the very last square?We did it!We did it!Not so long ago we were way back there!Look at us now!Look at my crown!Now we must be recognized as checkers of renown!Look where we've been!Look what we've seen!Now we must go to find our Queen!

Checker #1:

Hey! Look at this! I can move backwards!

Checker #2:

Let me try!

Checker #3:

Oh wow! I can't see where I'm going, but look where I've been!

Checker #4:

Wait for me!

The Checkers exit right. The Tiddlywinks enter left each carrying several boxes.

Tiddlywink #1:

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How did we get into this mess?

Tiddlywink #2:

Hush! We've got to do it!

Tiddlywink #3:

But why us?

Tiddlywink #4:

You know what happened. You know what we saw. You know who saw us see what we saw!

Tiddlywink #5:

Come on. Let's get it over with! Wii said we should do it!

Tiddlywink #6:

Wii said, "We would do it!

Tiddlywinks #2&3:

Look! There are the castles!

Tiddlywinks exit left.

Scene six: The curtains open. The courtyard. The Queens and Knights are standing in front of their respective castles. The Knights rush over and escort the Tiddlywinks to center stage.

Sapphire Knight:

They claim to have a message for the Queens!

Garnet Knight:

But who can make sense of all these letters?

The Knights set up two benches. The Tiddlywinks dump their boxes randomly on the benches. The letters displayed read: @OETNARMMYNOS Sapphire Queen:

I can't even pronounce that word! What does it mean?

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Garnet Queen:

We need help! Quick! Find Potato Head! Bring Potato Head here at once!

The Knights depart left and return immediately with Potato Head and Spud.

Garnet Queen:

Thank goodness you are here! Can you understand this message?

Potato Head:

Perhaps it's an anagram. Let's rearrange the letters.

The Tiddlywinks rearrange the letters, turning the boxes and arranging them so that the message reads: GET OUT OF JAIL.

Spud:

What kind of message is that?

Potato Head:

Try again. There must be a message.

The Tiddlywinks rearrange them again. This time the message reads: EAT AT FREDS.

Sapphire Queen:

No! No! That doesn't make sense.

The Tiddlywinks try again. The message reads: INEXPLICABLE!

Spud:

How do you explain that?

The Tiddlywinks shuffle the boxes. The message is: Where did it go?

Potato Head:

Someone is playing a game with us. Wait! Go back to the beginning. What was the first message?

The Tiddlywinks slowly rearrange the letters to spell: @OETNARMMYNOS

Potato Head:

No. You first, then you, and you and you!

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The note reads: NOT SORE MY MAN; then: ARMY MEN'S MOON; then: A MOON MY NEST;and finally: MY RANSOM NOTE. One of the boxes opens. Tiddlywink #1 hands over a note.

Everyone:

Ah ha!

Spud:

What does it say?

Garnet Queen:

Are they safe?

Sapphire Queen:

Where are our Kings?

The Checkers enter left.

Checkers:

Here we are!

Everyone:

What???

Checker #1:

Here we are!

Checker #2:

We're Kings now!

Checker #3:

We came to save the game!

Checker #4: (to Spud)

Are you a Queen?

Sapphire Queen:

Where did you get the idea that you could be Kings?

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Checkers:

It's in the rules! We made it across the board.

Garnet Queen:

Somebody do something! Quickly!

Potato Head:

Stop! Listen to me. There's a problem you haven't considered.

Checkers:

What???

Potato Head:

Well. Can't you see for yourselves? There are four of you, but only two Queens. Somebody has to go.

Checker #1:

Ha! He's right! But if I jump you, you're out of the game.

Checker #2:

Oh no you don't! I'll get you first!

Checker #3:

Can't catch me!

Checker #4:

Ready or not, here I come!

The Checkers exit left, jumping and shouting.

Potato Head:

There! That should keep them jumping for a while! Now, let's see what this so called ransom note is about. Hmm. (Reads aloud) If you would see your Kings so handsome,You must pay a wee small ransom!My first request? It is as fallers,Fill a box with $20,580!

Queens:

What! $20,580? That is every bit of money in the entire game!

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Potato Head:

Oh! The note also demands the deed to Park Place.

Sapphire Queen:

But, that's my town home!

Potato Head:

And to Boardwalk.

Garnet Queen:

That's my town home!

Potato Head:

And the deeds to the Electric Company and the Reading Railroad.

Queens, Knights and Spud:

This villain wants a monopoly!

Potato Head:

One last demand: a "Get out of jail free" card.

Garnet Queen:

Who is doing this to us? Who? You! Tiddlywinks! You brought this message! You must know more than you're telling! We can make you tell us! Knights! Take them to the dungeon!

Tiddlywink #1:

Wait! Wait! I'll tell! Wii did it!

Queens, Knights, Spud and Potato Head:

What! You did it?

Tiddlywink #2:

No! We didn't do it.

Tiddlywink #3:

Wii did it!

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Tiddlywink #4:

You don't understand. We didn't do it! Wii did it!

Sapphire Queen:

You're not making any sense.

Garnet Queen:

Knights! Maybe you should take these characters away and get to the bottom of all this.

Potato Head:

Just a minute. I don't think that will help. I really don't believe these nitwits could have come up with this plan. I think we should do what the note says. It instructs us to give the ransom to these Tiddlywinks. They are to take the Reading Railroad all the way to Marvin Gardens. Let's follow them. We'll find out whose behind this. We'll catch them in the act and rescue the Kings.

Sapphire Queen:

Do you really think that's a good idea?

Garnet Queen:

If they get away, the game is over . . . Forever!

Potato Head:

It's our best chance to save the Kings.

Queens:

Then let's do it!

They fill a bag with money, deeds etc.

Spud:

I can understand the demand for the money and the town homes. I guess having the railroad makes the getaway safer, especially with the "Get out of jail" card. But why ask for the Electric Company. How does that fit in? Oh! I get it! This rascal wants all the power!

The Tiddlywinks exit right carrying the loot.

Potato Head:

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Come along Spud! The game's afoot!

Potato Head and Spud exit right, followed by the Queens and Knights.

Scene Seven: The hideout. The Kings are imprisoned left.

NG #12:

Sapphire King: (sings)

It was a dark and stormy night!

Garnet King: (sings)

But, something didn't seem quite right!

Sapphire King: (spoken)

Actually, think how different it would have been if we'd had a couple of knights!

Garnet King: (sings)

A couple of Our Knights would have put up quite a fight!

Sapphire King: (sings)

Then we wouldn't be in this mess today!

Garnet King: (sings)

And we wouldn't have a ransom to pay!

Sapphire and Garnet Kings: (sing)

But we sent our Knights away so now we have to stay!

We are the Sapphire and the Garnet Kings,Stuck inside these walls with just the blues to sing!

Sapphire King:

Shhh! Someone is coming!

Wii enters right. Little Deuce, UNO, Domino, The Usual Suspects, and The Casino Chips enter left.

Wii:

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Whee! I see them! They're on the way! (Sings)

NG #13:

So now, it comes to this,Oh how could they resist?Now they're bringing me their treasure,I can live a life of leisure,All the games will be a pleasure now that I'm in charge here!I'm stronger by the hour.When they realize my power,How meekly they will cower full of fear!

Little Deuce, UNO, Domino, The Usual Suspects, and The Casino Chips: (Sing)

NG #14:

There's a new game in town,Take a look around, I'm sure that you'll agree.There's a new game in town.And the name of the game is Wii!!!

The Tiddlywinks enter left.

Wii:

Over here! Be quick about it!

The Tiddlywinks put down the bag. Wii opens it eagerly.

Wii:

Wait! This is play money! What kind of trick is this?

Potato Head, Spud enter left.

Wii:

Hey! Who are you? Tiddlywinks! You were followed?

The Queens and Knights enter left.

Sapphire Queen:

Knight! Arrest that scoundrel!

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Garnet Queen:

Grab that rascal, Trusty Knight!

Wii:

Oh no! You just think this is checkmate! This battle has just begun!

Wii runs back center, climbs stairs to fortification, and disappears inside.

Sapphire Knight:

Leave it to me! I'll show that knave!

Sapphire Knight attempts to climb the stairs, but is met with a deluge of ping pong balls and is forced to retreat.

Wii: (sings)

NG #15:

Ah ha! A bold first strike!I guess, I showed that Knight!He was helpless in the battle,Up the creek without a paddle!If that's all it takes to rattle them the game will soon be won!

Garnet Knight:

I came prepared! Watch this!

Garnet Knight advances brandishing a ping pong paddle, only to be met with a deluge of tennis balls. Garnet Knight retreats. Sapphire Knight approaches with a tennis racket.

Sapphire Knight:

Stand back! I'll serve!

The Sapphire Knight is beaten back by whiffle balls. The Garnet Knight comes up with a whiffle bat.

Garnet Knight:

I'll strike 'em out!

The Garnet Knight is met with a volley of volleyballs.

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Potato Head:

Wait! Stop! Bowling balls may be next! We've got to stop playing these games.

Sapphire Queen:

How can this villain best our best?

Garnet Queen:

How can this villain be so powerful?

Spud:

Ah ha! That was the demand! All the power! I have an idea. What is the source of power?

Spud races left and pulls a plug from the socket. The stage go dark.

Wii:

I'm melting! Oooooooooooh?

The lights come up to dim.

Kings:

We're free! We're free! Knights! Don't let that scoundrel escape!

Knights go up stairs and return with Wii. Checkers enter left.

Garnet Queen:

Who did this? Who kidnapped you?

Kings:

Wii did it.

Little Deuce, UNO, Domino,The Usual Suspects, and The Casino Chips: (sing)

NG #16:

We find ourselves in a delicate situation! We thought Wii was strong, now it looks like we were wrong, so what's the implication?We thought our fortunes would be made today,But now we need a way to get away!'Cause no matter how you spin it, things are looking pretty sour and we'll have to pay for our aggravation!

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Wii did it! Wii did it!Wii took our Kings away!Wii did it! Wii did it!And now Wii has to pay!

Checkers enter left:

Checkers:

We couldn't do it! We couldn't jump each other. We couldn't win. Isn't there someway we can share?

Sapphire Queen:

Who do you think you are? We have our Kings!

Sapphire King:

Wii did it, but these Checkers have the right idea. We're all players in this game.

Garnet King:

Perhaps it is best if we can share the power.

Wii:

I will!

Lights come to bright.

Kings:

Then, let the games begin!

NG #17:

Cast: (Sings)

We did it! We did it! And now we all can say.We did it! We did it! We hope you liked our play!

The End

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