Wedding Guide

Spring Edition 2009

BY JENNIFER E. MAY

THE DAILY IBERIAN

A nyone who watches the many TV“reality” shows put out thesedays about weddings, has tobelieve that planning for this spe-

cial day causes more than a little stress.From the “Bridezillas” to the over-the-topwedding planners, it’s enough to makeyoung couples elope.

But checking with three local coupleswho have weddings on their mind,reveals the true reality, that planning awedding does not have to be a stressfulexperience.

“I learned not to stress over the smallthings, there is so much more out there,”said Laci Bourque of New Iberia, who ismarrying fiance Justin Caprito of St.Martinville in March.

Bourque’s wedding planning experi-ence started off with quite a bit of stress.

“He proposed to me in May and we orig-inally set the date for one year,” she said.“We couldn’t find a hall and moved thedate to June. We booked a hall, but cameto find out it was double-booked. That’swhen we started panicking and came upwith a March date.”

The couple’s stress factor, however, wasput into perspective when, just one weekafter the proposal, Bourque was diag-nosed with a brain tumor.

“My fiance was wonderful,” she said.“He was with me every step of the way,

which only confirmed what I knew, thathe was the one for me.”

Plans for the wedding continued andafter two surgeries, one in August andone in October, Bourque was pronouncedwell. The tumor, found to be benign, wasremoved.

“I would advise anyone getting marriedto start planning early,” she said. “A lot ofmy plans were already done and it’s agood thing because if I hadn’t started

right away, I wouldn’t be where I amtoday.”

As for her choice of bridal gown andbridesmaid dresses, Bourque said she hadalways wanted the colors yellow andbrown for her wedding colors and thevery first gown she tried on was the oneshe bought.

Eryn Viator and William Craig MorelJr. were joined in holy matrimony Jan. 23at St. Genevieve Catholic Church inLafayette. The New Iberia couple made alltheir plans in just four months.

“The date picked was when the church,the reception and everyone else was ableto do it,” Viator said a couple of daysbefore her wedding. “Ours was a teameffort, with my mom and sisters, myfuture mother-in-law and bridesmaids all

helping out,” she said. “We just wantedeverything to fit our personalities.

S PR I NG BR I DA L THURSDAY, JANUARY 29, 20092 THE DAILY IBERIAN

SUBMITTED

Laci Bouque and fiance Justin Caprito.

SUBMITTED

Eryn Kathleen Viator, bride of William CraigMorel Jr. The couple wed Jan. 23.

L O C A L S TORY■

Local couples share wedding planning experiences‘I learned not to stressover the small things,there is so much more outthere.’

Laci BourqueLocal bride-to-be planning her wedding for

March 14.

■

SEE PLANNING, PAGE 3

“My advice would be to enjoy theprocess. You can get so bogged down withthe little details and in the big picture, noone is going to know (if something iswrong), so enjoy it as much as you can.

The night Michael Phelps won his lastgold medal at the Olympics in August waswhen Jarett Landry proposed to KallieBarras.

“We had talked about it and agreed thatwe wanted a Spring wedding, but it was asurprise when he actually did it,” Barrassaid. “We were on vacation with my par-ents and he actually asked my dad first. Itwas funny because my dad said, ‘Are yousure?’ When I was younger, he alwaysused to tell me, ‘They may take you, butthey’ll bring you right back,’” she said,with a laugh.

Having a career as a fundraiser, Barrassaid she was used to making plans forevents.

“The two big differences are I am sign-ing the checks and I get to choose all my

favorite things,” she said. “This is theonly time in my life when I can choosewhat I want.”

Barras admitted that at the beginning itwas “very crazy and stressful.

“I got very overwhelmed quickly,because it is all so personal. It’s not justyou and your fiancee, it’s the familiesinvolved and taking into considerationwhat they want.”

One of the most productive thingsBarras said for her, was that she andJarett each made their three top priori-ties and respected each other’s choices.

Their wedding is set for April atShadows-on-the-Teche in New Iberia.

“There was a lull after the big stuff wasdone,” Barras said. “Now I am in my sec-ond wind. It can be fun. It’s your favoriteof everything, so enjoy it.”

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PLANNING: Enjoy the process and don’t sweat the small stuffFROM PAGE 2

SUBMITTED

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TRAD I T I ON S■

BY THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

A drian Enrique was nervous whenhe popped the question to LeahSmeenk. And he had been even

more nervous when he sought permissionfrom her mom and dad first.

“I wanted to make sure I did it right,”said Enrique, 25, of Orlando, Fla. “It’s aritual. It shows respect. You just start outon the right foot with the parents.”

Although seeking permission from awoman’s father is no longer a societalmust, many prospective grooms still do itas a way to gain the trust, respect orfriendship of their future fathers-in-law.Some include mothers in the conversation.

In fact, 73 percent of the men who par-ticipated in a 2007 survey by Men’s Healthmagazine and TheKnot.com, a weddingWeb site, said a guy should seek dad’s per-mission before giving his daughter a ring.

Sixty-eight percent of the women whoresponded said that asking their dad wasnot necessary, but was OK, according tothe survey of more than 10,000 men andwomen.

Men like the tradition because it givesthem a place to start as they plan the pro-posal, said Anja Winikka, editor atTheKnot.com.

“The proposal is the one thing wherehe’s got all the control,” she said.

Enrique came up with a way to talk toSmeenk’s parents before he finalized hisplans for how to propose to her. DuringJan and Leonard Smeenk’s August visit toOrlando, Enrique took them to a jewelrystore and showed them the ring he hadchosen.

He recalls telling them: “You know Ilove your daughter very much. As long as

Asking dad for daughter’s hand has staying power

SEE HAND, PAGE5

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Leah Smeenk and Adrian Enrique are seen at their home in Winter Springs, Fla., Dec. 2.Adrian took Leah’s parents to the jewelry store where he bought the ring to ask permis-sion to propose to their daughter.


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it’s OK with you, I’d really like to give thisto Leah and ask her to spend the rest ofher life with me.”

The speech made a big impact on thefamily.

“They were all ecstatic,” recalledEnrique. “They respect me more becauseof this.”

Jan Smeenk, of Montoursville, Pa.,agreed.

“It was very special,” she said. “I felt hewas showing both Leah and her familyrespect.”

Randy Burns, 28, also saw a conversa-tion about marriage with his futurefather-in-law as a way to earn approval— even though they had just met a dayearlier.

“It was very awkward,” Burns, ofLouisville, Ky., said of the July conversa-tion with Collin Stevens. “I thought it wasthe right thing to do. He was floored butat the same time I definitely got the feel-ing he respected me for asking.”

The discussion took “guts,” agreedStevens. “It was a respectful thing to do. Idon’t think it was a necessary thing to do.If that’s who my daughter wants tomarry, then that’s it.”

Mallorey Stevens, who said yes toBurns a few days later, appreciated thegesture.

“I’m really close to my dad,” she said.“It helped them bond. Now, they have astory between the two of them.”

The custom has come back into favorwith a different connotation than it hadin the past, said Stephanie Coontz, whoteaches family studies at Evergreen State

College in Olympia, Wash., and directsresearch and public education for theCouncil on Contemporary Families.

“We’re playing with conventions,” shesaid. “It’s totally a formality. How manycouples that are in love would accept ano?”

Today, the courtesy seems to signal aman’s desire to foster a respectful and lov-ing relationship with his intended’s par-ents, she said.

“People are rediscovering the need tohave support networks of friends andfamily,” Coontz said.

Marty Fleischman said he was “totallyshocked” and pleased in 2007 when BrettBerger asked permission to marry hisdaughter, Shawna.

“It made me feel like I had anotherson,” said Fleischman, of Dania Beach,Fla. “It showed he wanted to be part ofmy family.”

When Shawna Fleischman Bergerlearned about the conversation monthslater, she was touched.

“It just showed that Brett really valuedtheir opinion and how strongly he viewedtheir relationship,” she said. “My dad wasjust so excited.”

HAND: Made a big impact on the familyFROM PAGE 4

‘It made me feel like I hadanother son.’

Marty Fleischman

Florida father who was asked for his daughter’s

hand in marriage

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FA SH I ON■

D ES PERES, Mo. (AP) — As aMormon planning a temple wed-ding, Jenna Gaal knew what she

needed in a wedding gown: pure white,with sleeves and a conservative necklineand hem.

She just couldn’t find it.“I tried on things that looked like night-

gowns, floor-length with beads,” said the 23-year-old from Kansas City, Mo., who want-ed something elegant as well as modest.

Finally, she found her dress about afour-hour drive from home at ChatfieldsBoutique in the St. Louis suburb of DesPeres. Chatfields, which bills itself as “anunexpected wedding store” features mod-est, plus-size, eco-friendly, maternity andother specialty gowns.

Its owner, Debbie Welcher, notes thatnot all brides are seeking a size 6 strap-less couture gown. While those withunconventional — or very traditional —needs may have to do a little more home-work, there are places where they, too, canfind the dress of their dreams.

Gaal was beaming, and her motherlooked happy too, as she stood in front ofa mirror at Chatfields while her satingown — with covered shoulders, adropped waist and box pleats — was beingfitted. She found the store because it isnear her wedding temple.

“Oh my goodness! I was almost in tearsbecause I had 10 to 20 dresses to try on,instead of two or three to try and work

Hard-to-find dresses forthe unconventional bride

SEE DRESSES, PAGE 7

THE ASSOCIATED PERSS

Eternity Gowns shows their matte satin a-line gown that has flared sleeves and insetsof Guipure lace at the ends of the sleeves,the empire waistline and around the bot-tom of the skirt.


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with,” she said. “I think it’s a great thingbecause every bride wants to look prettyon her wedding day.”

Welcher was motivated to create a bou-tique of hard-to-find bridal dresses whenshe heard a radio call-in discussion abouthow difficult it could be for pregnantbrides to find flattering dresses and sym-pathetic salespeople.

Her store now serves a variety of nichebridal markets. There is a pregnant man-nequin in the same store window asanother mannequin wearing a temple-ready gown with high neck and longsleeves. The maternity dress is a cham-pagne taffeta with a corset back that canbe laced to adjust for a changing figure. Italso includes a panel of fabric thatexpands to accommodate an expandingbelly.

“It’s not just an empire with fabrichanging down,” Welcher said, referring tothe high-waistline style that might beused to dress a pregnant woman. “I lovethis dress because it’s so Audrey

Hepburn.”These days, brides want gowns that fit

their own personal circumstances, saythose in the industry.

“The whole concept of a traditionalbride is being turned on its head a littlebit,” said spokeswoman Cindi Freeburnof David’s Bridal, which has about 300stores nationwide.

“Brides really want to make their wed-ding their own.”

Freeburn noted that about 15 percent ofAmerican weddings are now “destina-tion” weddings, for which brides mightwant gowns that can be worn outside,perhaps with a shorter train or otherpractical considerations.

Gown preferences also can vary byregion, she said, and David’s adjusts itsmix of dresses to meet demand — provid-ing more covered-up gowns, for instance,in areas where there are larger concen-trations of conservative, religious fami-lies. The chain doesn’t specifically designmaternity dresses, Freeburn said, but hasin-store experts trained to make those

alterations. They can help meet other spe-cial requests, too, she said. A jacket orcover-up may be the answer for a brideseeking a modest silhouette at a religiousceremony. Sleeves can be added to certaindesigns, or bodices built up with morefabric to raise a neckline.

The industry also has seen an increasein plus-size gowns; an estimated 25 per-cent of women getting married needthem.

David’s, based in Conshohocken, Pa.,stocks a wide range of sizes, and Welchersays her boutique has samples up to size30. Recently, Marimo USA introducedBara Luxe, a collection of couture wed-ding gowns for plus-size women, includ-ing a halter dress and one with a mer-maid cut.

Customers “get to see a lot of stylesthey may have thought they couldn’twear,” said Yvonne McClendon, a directorfor Marimo.

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DRESSES: Gown preferences vary by religion or destinationsFROM PAGE 6


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WEDD ING T IME TAB L E■

SIXTEEN TO NINE MONTHSBEFORE WEDDING

■ Determine what type of wedding youwant, whether you want formal orinformal, then you need to choose adate.

■ Visit the clergy and review syna-gogue/church requirements with him orher.

■ Determine the size of your guestlist.

■ Determine your budget and divisionof expenses — who pays for what.

■ Find a reception location and makereservations early.

■ Select Wedding Gown.

NINE TO SIX MONTHSBEFORE WEDDING

■ Choose your attendants.■ Choose a color theme.■ Choose attendant’s dresses.■ Book your caterer.■ Book your photographer.■ Book your videographer.■ Plan ceremony and reception

music.■ Compile names and addresses for

guest list.

SIX TO FOUR MONTHSBEFORE WEDDING

■ Select a florist.■ Book your disc jockey or band.■ Order invitations and party

favors.

■ Shop for bridal party tuxedos.■ Finalize arrangement for the church

and ceremony.■ Make transportation

arrangements.■ Plan honeymoon; visit travel agen-

cies, make reservations.■ All deposits should be made and con-

tracts signed.■ Put together ideas for bridal

registry.■ Plan wedding decorations.

THREE MONTHSBEFORE WEDDING

■ Choose gifts for attendants, parents,helpers.

■ Buy wedding rings.■ Order the wedding cake.■ Buy cake knife, toasting glasses,

guest book and garter.

TWO MONTHSBEFORE WEDDING

■ Make plans and reservations for wed-ding rehearsal and dinner.

■ Reserve rooms for out-of-townguests.

■ Address invitations and announce-ments. Invitations should be sent four tosix weeks prior to wedding; announce-ments after wedding.

ONE MONTHBEFORE WEDDING

■ Finalize details of every aspect of

your wedding.■ Confirm all your honeymoon reserva-

tions.■ Have final fittings for you and your

attendant’s dresses.■ Get marriage license.■ Ask a friend or relative to take.

charge of guest book at reception.■ Pick up wedding rings.■ Purchase gift for fiance.

TWO WEEKSBEFORE WEDDING

■ Complete your trousseau.■ Prepare wedding announcement to

send to newspapers.■ Contact guests who have not yet

responded to your invitation.

ONE WEEKBEFORE WEDDING

■ Pick up your gown, attendants’ dress-es and accessories.

■ Confirm details with allparticipants and inform them of anychanges.

■ Pack suitcases and bags for honey-moon.

■ Make sure you have all weddingattire, rings and, most importantly, themarriage license.

■ Have wedding rehearsal and the din-ner.

■ Have nails done.■ Give final guest count to reception

facility or caterer.■ Get a massage.

WEDDINGDAY

■ Have hair and makeup done.■ Take marriage license and rings to

ceremony site.■ Begin dressing two hours before cere-

mony is to begin.■ Mail wedding announcements.

A partial list of traditional and modern giftsfor wedding anniversaries.This list was com-piled by librarians at the Chicago PublicLibrary’s Information Center. The tradition-al gift is listed first (with alternatives inparentheses), and the modern gift issecond.

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Mike Hightower teased his wifeabout forgetting their first wed-ding anniversary, but Alison

Hightower had a good reason for beingconfused: The couple had agreed to markthe day they exchanged vows in front offriends and family, rather than the daythey legally wed.

The Hightowers are among a small butgrowing number of couples who tie theknot before their wedding ceremony.

Reasons vary, including insurance bene-fits, living arrangements, religion, citizen-ship requirements or marriage licenserestrictions. The practice also is commonamong members of the military, who maywant to marry before they are deployed orto guarantee that their partner can travelwith them to an assignment.

In the Hightowers’ case, it was all about

football.Being married allowed Mike to pur-

chase an extra season ticket forUniversity of Florida football games. Ifthe Gainesville, Fla., couple had waiteduntil their wedding date, in May 2006,they would have missed the deadline toapply. So they wed in March at the court-house, with her parents and some closefriends attending.

“Most of our family understands ourlove of football,” said Alison, 28, whocame up with the plan.

A family friend officiated at the Mayceremony, which included the exchange ofrings, the bridal party and other tradi-tional elements of a wedding.

“It’s really pretty common” now tomarry days or weeks before the ceremony,said Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of

The couple standing at the altar may already be married

SEE ALTAR, PAGE 10


Alison and Mike Hightower show the “gator chop” while standing in the University ofFlorida’s Ben Hill Griffin stadium in Gainesville, Fla., Dec. 5.

the wedding Web site, TheKnot.com. “Itdefinitely is accepted.”

An infected tooth led Maria and MoryThiaw of Camp Hill, Pa., to the altar threemonths early. Mory, who did not have den-tal insurance, had an untreated cavitythat was causing a fever.

“He was getting sick. It was awful,”recalled Maria, 34, who wanted to get himon her insurance plan. “I said, ’I’m notletting you go through this.”’

Their minister readily agreed to per-form both weddings. “He told me this hap-pens all the time,” she said.

The Thiaws opted not to tell friends andfamily before their formal ceremony lastAugust. But they will celebrate theiranniversary in May, the day they becamelegal.

“It’s not like the 85 wedding guests aregoing to be at our anniversary dinner,”Maria said.

Two weddings are the norm for ChineseAmericans who want a traditional

Chinese wedding, said Cathy Luo ofBrooklyn, N.Y., who planned two cere-monies in 2007. The U.S. government doesnot recognize the Chinese tea ceremonyas a wedding, so couples also go through acivil ceremony.

Luo’s marriage license says she mar-ried Gary Mah on Oct. 19, 2007, but thecouple treats Dec. 8, the day of their teaceremony, as their anniversary.

For Mary and Anthony Baszkowski, thedecision to have two weddings was allabout their anniversary date. They want-ed to marry on Oct. 18, the 10th anniver-sary of their first date, but the hall theywanted for the ceremony was booked thatday.

So they got married Oct. 18 in front of50 people in Central Park, in New YorkCity. Six days later, the couple, from TomsRiver, N.J., got married again, with 180people in attendance.

“The first time, it was small and inti-mate,” said Mary, 26. “For the second one,we wrote our own vows. It was perfect.”


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ALTAR: Two weddings not so unusualFROM PAGE 9


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DE S T I N AT I ON S■

H ONOLULU (AP) — Twinklingwaters. Swaying palms. Powderysand. Sorbet sunsets. Graceful

hula dancers. Ahhhhh, Hawaii.Long regarded as a hot spot for destina-

tion weddings, it whispers “exotic” with-out requiring a battery of shots or a pass-port. But over the last year, a perfectstorm has soaked the local wedding indus-try: a shaky national economy, the shut-down of two major airlines servicing theislands, and a statewide crackdownenforcing permits for beach weddings.

“People just aren’t coming here,” saidPenei Aller, who runs Beach Weddings

Weddings inparadise onthe decline

SEE PARADISE, PAGE 12THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Bride Sandra, right, and groom Sandy during their beach wedding on Nov. 28 at Lanikai Beach in Kailua, Hawaii.


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Aller, a Big Island minister and singer,has been doing weddings since the 1970s.Because her company tends to coordinatesmaller events, she thought they’d weath-er the downturn more easily.

She was wrong.“For December, we have more baptisms

than weddings,” Aller said. “That’s neverhappened before.”

The problems started when AlohaAirlines and ATA Airlines abruptly wentout of business just days apart in April.The economy was already faltering andworsened as the year progressed.

Fuel prices reached all-time highs andreasonably priced airline tickets wereincreasingly scarce.

Then, Hawaii’s Department of Landand Natural Resources announced itwould begin in August to enforce arequirement that many beach weddingsneeded a permit.

“I think initially when the announce-ment came out in the summer, peoplewere kind of stunned,” said SusanO’Donnell of Aloha Wedding Planners onOahu.

“It just seemed a little untimely.”Morris Atta, who leads the land divi-

sion for the state agency, said the law ismeant to protect the public beaches andoriginally targeted commercial boatingoperations in Kauai.

It expanded to include weddings after a

Maui party refused to cooperate with offi-cials.

The permits are required for most wed-dings that hire any professional serviceson the beach, including wedding plannersor ministers.

Usually, the professionals file for thepermits, which cost 10 cents per squarefoot, with a minimum $20.

Violators could face fines of up to$5,000, but Atta said that so far peoplehave been complying and no fines havebeen issued.

Since August, the state has tightenedthe rules several times. Beach weddingsnow may last no more than two hours. Nochairs may be brought onto the beachexcept those needed for the elderly anddisabled, and fewer decorations areallowed.

“We understand the beaches are publicand they are there for the masses toenjoy,” said O’Donnell, adding that thestate made the permit process simpler byputting it online in the last few months.

But she thinks some of the new rules

are too strict. Wedding-industry profes-sionals are assembling recommendationsfor state officials that they hope will be anacceptable compromise.

The decline in weddings, however, isn’tjust a wedding issue, noted MarshaWienert, Hawaii’s tourism liaison:Tourism in general is down.

The number of air visitors fell 7.9 per-cent in the first 10 months of 2008 andtotal visitor days were down 8.1 percentfrom the same period in 2007.

And it’s not just Hawaii. “Tourismaround the world is being affected by our(U.S.) economy,” Wienert said.

According to the Hawaii Department ofHealth, 12,377 non-residents were marriedin the state through September 2008.That’s an 11 percent drop from 13,887 forthe same period in 2007.

Many of those who do come to Hawaiiare having smaller weddings and order-ing fewer services.

Christine Gardner, a hair and makeupartist, said brides are still getting theirhair and makeup professionally done, butmany are no longer paying for theirbridesmaids to join them.

“They’re really rethinking what theyneed,” said Gardner, who co-owns thesalon Flaunt.

O’Donnell, who has been in the wed-ding business since 1990, typically helpscoordinate about 80 events annually. Shehas seen a 30 percent to 40 percent dropover the last year.

And Dave Miyamoto, a photographerand president of the Oahu WeddingAssociation, said his business is down 20percent from last year. Back then, he says,

he was getting bookings at least a year inadvance. Now, the calls he receives aremore likely to be for a wedding a monthor two away.

“People are a little more careful withtheir money right now,” he said.

PARADISE: Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources enforces lawFROM PAGE 11

‘Tourism around theworld is being affected byour (U.S.) economy.’

Marsha Wienert

Hawaii’s tourism liaison

■


Kristeen Nelson and Josh LaBrot duringtheir wedding on Nov. 22 in Los Angeles.


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■ HOW DO YOU handle gratuities? Somecaterers add a gratuity on top of othercharges and that can add an additional 20percent to your bill.

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T he big, white wedding cake hasgone stale for many couples whohave tasted too much bad butter-

cream and seen too many slices leftuntouched on the table.

Instead, they’re trying to make theircelebrations more personal with othersweet expressions of their union.

For Elena Flores and Jeff Breese, therewas no question that their 250 weddingguests would be treated to their favoritedessert — gelato — which they eat togeth-er once or twice a week.

“Neither of us are cake eaters,” saidElena Flores Breese, 27. “In our opinion,wedding cake ... sometimes it isn’t good.”

After guests finished a Southwesternmeal at the couple’s September weddingin Phoenix, servers scooped four flavors

of the Italian ice cream into martiniglasses, and the bride and groom fed eachother a spoonful.

“Good friends of ours and family knowhow much we love gelato. We wanted toshare it with them on our day,” saidFlores Breese, who also had a sweets tableand churros with several sauces.

A long-standing symbol of a wedding,the tall, tiered cake is often part of thedecor, a centerpiece for the room. It’s thecutting of the cake that traditionally sig-nals the time when guests can leave with-out seeming rude, notes Chicago weddingplanner Marina Birch. The retreat fromcake is part of a larger trend: Many cou-ples are dropping wedding customs thatdon’t suit them and are adding personaltouches instead. Taking the place of theiconic cake is everything from pies,cheesecakes with sauces, fresh doughnuts

with toppings, and cupcakes — lots andlots of cupcakes in different flavors andsizes, arranged in cascading tiers to looklike, yes, a cake.

There are desserts that guests createthemselves: an ice cream sundae bar, can-died or caramel apples with toppings, a

fondue station or a candy table. Bite-sizesweets — brownies, creme brulee, creampuffs, cheesecake lollipops, and warmchocolate chip cookies and milk served inshot glasses — are also popular.

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“Most don’t like cake, and others are wanting to per-sonalize the wedding experience a little bit more and arefinding that dessert is the easiest way,” said Melissa LeeSylvester of Rincon Beach Club and Catering inCarpinteria, Calif., where about 40 percent of the wed-dings are cakeless.

Although some couples may think an alternativedessert is less expensive than cake, that is not always thecase. Planners say a cupcake that has to be individuallydecorated can cost the same as a slice of cake, while acandy table can cost less. Gelato is more expensive thana traditional buttercream-frosted cake with fresh flow-ers.

Cost aside, no-cake couples want their after-dinnertreat to represent them.

For Lindsey Mallow and her fiance, Truett Sage, ofTulsa, Okla., their thing is pie — the peach pie they eatevery Tuesday night at a favorite dive.

“My fiance and I were really set on our weddingreflecting us and not just traditional wedding things likehaving a cake,” said Mallow, 24, who is planning herwedding for next fall. “We just thought we should havepie at our wedding because it’s so much more us.”

Couples are also using dessert to honor their back-grounds. Planners cite an Italian-American couple who

will serve cannoli, Southern couples who have chosenmini pecan pies or red velvet cupcakes, a Maine bridewho went with mini blueberry pies, and a Michiganwedding with cherry pies.

Many brides and grooms who opt out of a weddingcake do keep the tradition of feeding each other a bite ofsomething sweet, mindful, perhaps, that their parentsmight miss the photographable moment.

“I could have left it out altogether, but we’re doing thatfor my mom,” said Mallow, who plans to exchange bitesof pie with her new husband.

Sometimes, the pressure to have a traditional cake is

too much to resist. With 350 people coming to her wed-ding in Los Angeles in October, Michelle Olsen wantedto have several desserts.

She didn’t care for the look — or price tag — of a cakebig enough to serve all the guests.

So she chose five flavors of mini cupcakes and a candybar with sweets in her wedding colors of black, whiteand kelly green. No cake. But after hearing from herfuture husband’s stepfather that wedding cake was theonly reason he goes to weddings, they added a three-tiered cake in white buttercream with green trim.

“We didn’t want to offend anyone, so we figured wewould have a small one for the tradition and to takesome pictures,” said Olsen, 29. She made sure they cutthe cake early to keep the party going.

Another bride wanted only cotton candy and candy forher wedding last June.

“Once we informed the moms, they were not happycampers,” said Evora Alvarez-Deily, 35, of Margate, Fla.She added a wedding cake — blue icing with brown lacyswirls — to appease them.

Alvarez-Deily said her nontraditional choices werewildly successful, however.

“Everybody loved it and went crazy over it,” she saidof the ring pops, candy necklaces and cotton candy. “Ibarely had any kids there. The adults were all over it.”

CAKE: Desserts are the order of the day to personalize the wedding experienceFROM PAGE 14


A table filled with candy at the wedding of Michelle Nizichand David Olsen in Los Angeles.


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