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2 | Saturday, October 16, 2010 WEDDINGS New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press
Weddings can be expensive, time-consuming and stressful to plan. Few couples embroiled in the process haven’t thought about run-ning away to elope. It’s certainly spontaneous and can be cost-effec-tive. But is it for you?
AdvantagesThere are several advantages to
eloping. The foremost reason is cost. Couples who elope at City Hall or close by will pay a nominal fee for their nuptials.
Eloping is also a viable idea for couples with family issues. If some members of the family do not get along or if there are individuals who don’t approve of the marriage, it can be easier to avoid the drama of a wedding ceremony and reception and get married in a small, simple ceremony — alone. A bride who has lost her father or mother may choose to forego the pomp and circumstance of walking down the aisle for a simpler ceremony.
Another reason to elope is to avoid the stress and hassle of plan-ning the wedding. Some people are born organizers and planners. Others get overwhelmed just decid-ing on what to eat for dinner. When
eloping, the only things couples must plan are the where, when and how of the event. Fewer people involved means fewer hassles.
DisadvantagesEloping does have its share of
disadvantages, as well. Primarily it’s experienced only by the bride and groom and perhaps a witness. This means others won’t be around to share in this momentous event. Some people who elope later regret the not having a more traditional ceremony.
Chances are a few people will have hurt feelings if you choose to elope and not include them in the wedding. Remember, a wedding is a celebration not just for the bride and groom, but for their families as well.
If you’re running off to get married because a family mem-ber doesn’t approve of your future spouse, you could permanently fracture the relationship this person will have with the family.
If You Decide to ElopeIf you’ve assessed the pros and
cons and have decided to elope, consider these pointers.
■ Research the marriage require-ments in the place where you have decided to marry. Some foreign locales require a layover period before filling out the marriage papers and getting married.
■ Choose a location that has meaning for you. Don’t pick a place simply because of popularity.
■ Elope, but still invite a few people to witness the event. One or two close friends, your parents or siblings can stand in as witnesses at the ceremony.
■ If you choose to do it as a duo, hire a photographer to take pictures of the ceremony and mail out an announcement to your family and friends.
■ Host a reception for close fam-ily and friends so they can celebrate the betrothal. It doesn’t have to be a lavish affair. A cocktail party or barbecue is adequate.
■ If you elope in secrecy, don’t count on lavish wedding gifts.
■ Put the money you would have spent on a wedding toward the down payment on a house. Get married in the backyard or living room of your new place and have a wedding/house-warming party.
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By ERICA SCHMITTCORRESPONDENT
What wedding is complete without flowers adorn-ing church pews, in the hands of bridesmaids, in the hair of the bride, as dinner table centerpieces, and
decorating the wed-ding cake?
There are many florists in the Plainville area that are happy to provide beautiful bouquets as an accessory to any event, birthday, holiday, or apol-ogy to that special someone, but only one that specializes in bridal flowers.
“The Flower Girl” is both her shop’s name and her alias.
Kelly Daly owns The Flower Girl on 1237 Shuttle Meadow Road. on the Plainville/Southington line. She opened four years ago in the building adjacent to her parents’ store, The Garden Path. Flowers are a family business, but Daly’s parents create arrange-ments for all occasions, while her focus is bridal flowers. She and her mother even created the flowers at Daly’s own wedding six years ago.
“I kind of grew up in this business and it’s really creative and fun and comes naturally to me,” explained Daly.
Many of the flowers they offer are tropical, so they are imported from growers in Hawaii, Canada, Holland and South America.
According to Daly, “Traditional white roses, hydrangea, cal lilies, and orchids are most popular in weddings right now.” Daly’s favorite flower is the orchid.
The Flower Girl offers both pick-up and deliv-ery, and her team is happy to set-up the different arrangements and blossoms in the various places that will decorate the site.
Saturday, October 16, 2010 | 3New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press WEDDINGS
Mike Orazzi | Staff
Kelly Daly at The Flower Girl in Southington.
Flowers for the wedding make a special day complete
‘Traditional white roses, hydrangea, cal lilies, and orchids are most popular in weddings right now.’KELLY DALYowner, The Flower Girl
ASK CARLEY� e rehearsal dinner Q. Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner? My fiance says family, everyone in the wedding and all the out-of-town wedding guests. I personally don’t want to include all the out-of-towners. A. The rehearsal-dinner guest list can include just the two of you, your immediate families, the wedding party and the offici-ant and his spouse. Or it can be a larger event, including all the out-of-town guests (or at least all those who will have already arrived in town for the wedding). It’s up to you, but the reason many
couples do include out-of-towners (especially when the rehearsal din-ner is the night before) is so they’re not left stranded in their hotel rooms. However, it’s your preroga-tive if you want an intimate party. If you know that the out-of-towners will be fine entertaining themselves, don’t worry about it. Or ask another relative or friend to host a cocktail party for the out-of-town guests that evening. Another option is to have your rehearsal dinner two nights before the wedding, leaving you free to hang out with your out-of-towners the night before.
Carley Roney is editor in chief of � e Knot at www.theknot.com
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4 | Saturday, October 16, 2010 WEDDINGS New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press
By ERICA SCHMITTCORRESPONDENT
The most important part of any wedding ceremony is the bride’s dress, of course. Plainville is lucky to have a boutique in town that specializes in wedding gowns, as there aren’t too many dress shops around that do. Beautiful Bride Boutique is the name, weddings are the game.
They offer dresses for the other important women in the wedding ceremony as well, like the brides-maids, the mother of the bride and the flower girl. The essential acces-sories that adorn the lady in white are also available at Beautiful Bride, including the veil, head pieces, and shoes. Although they specialize in wedding gowns, they also have a wide variety of dresses for other types of occasions, and are busiest in the spring, summer and fall, as wed-dings and proms happen mostly during these seasons.
The store opened in 1997, and
there are tailors on site who do alterations on any dress, even if it wasn’t purchased there. Owner Sylvia Plummer loves helping a bride choose the dress that’s right for her.
“I had a little tailoring shop but I decided I wanted to focus on wedding dresses,” said Plummer. “I love working with gowns and helping a bride pick out her dress, and its especially rewarding when I’ve picked it out myself to see her thankful and excited.”
A future bride usually comes in for the preliminary appoint-ment to discuss the dress they’ve envisioned and to try on some potential candidates that are simi-lar. Then, any alterations needed are made before she returns for her final fitting, and leaves with the single dress she will remember for an entire lifetime.
Beautiful Bride is located at 322 East St. in Plainville and dresses can be found online at www.beautifulbrideboutique.com.
Brides-to-be can find perfect gown in Plainville
The above wedding gowns can be found at Beautiful Bride in Plainville.
Think you know weddings? Here are some statistics.
25: The average age of a first-time bride.
175: Average number of guests invited to a wedding.
75: Percentage of brides who will receive a diamond engage-ment ring.
2.4: Number, in millions, of weddings performed in the U.S. each year.
16: Average number of months for an American engagement.
15: Percentage of weddings that include ethnic customs.
12: Average size of the wed-ding party.
ASK CARLEYWho pays forwhat wedding expenses?
Q: My fiance’s parents and my parents have agreed to split the cost of the whole wedding and reception. Now how do we figure out who pays for what? Are there rules we should follow? A. In days of yore (OK, as recently as the 1980s), the rules about who pays for what were much stricter. The bride’s family footed the bill for the invitations, announce-ments, wedding consultant, gown and accoutrements, reception (including site, food, flowers,
photographs, videographer and music) and transportation for the wedding party. The groom’s fam-ily paid for the marriage license, officiant, bride’s bouquet, bou-tonnieres, rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. Today, the division of financial duties is far more fluid. Maybe one side feels strongly about the flowers, while the other side feels strongly about the band. So go ahead and split it up that way. See what’s on your agenda, and then find ways to make it even.
Carley Roney is editor in chief of � e Knot.www.theknot.com
Saturday, October 16, 2010 | 5New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press WEDDINGS
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6 | Saturday, October 16, 2010 WEDDINGS New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press
By ERICA SCHMITTCORRESPONDENT
Most salons these days are pric-ey, glamorous places where stylists have few loyal clients, but many first-time clients whom they don’t know well. There are few hair-dressers left that can be creating a client’s wedding day up-do while telling them the story of their very first haircut when they were two years-old.
The four women that make up Hair Four You in Plainville are rare in this sense. They have been doing hair together for decades, not only because they banded
together to open their own salon on East Street 14 years ago when the shop they worked at grew too large, and also because they are family. Literally.
J o a n Nicastro grad-uated from ha i rd re s s ing school in 1959, and her niece, Lisa Nicastro, graduated 25 years later before
joining Joan at the other salon, also in Plainville. Cindy Nicastro is number three in the group and happens to be Joan’s daugh-t e r - i n - l a w . Ironically, her son is engaged to a hairdresser. Number four — the only stylist at Hair Four You that doesn’t have the last name
Nicastro — is Eileen Hackling, who is basically family, since she met Joan 40 years ago at the other salon they all ended up working at together down the street from their current location.
Although they have been in the business for a while, Eileen, Joan, Lisa and Cindy all attend hair shows every fall in New York City hosted by the Hairdressers’ Association, so they stay updated on the newest trends.
They have collected many dedi-cated clients over the years that have also become like family, and are thrilled when a long-time cli-ent asks them to style their bridal hair.
“We’ve known most of these women since they were little girls,” Lisa said of the brides who choose
them to style their hair when they get married because they’ve been doing it their entire lives. “It’s an honor to be a part of their special day.”
Joan, who has been in the industry the longest, recalls how bridal hair has evolved. “In the ’60s and ’70s, girls wanted French twists and French curls, but there were less getting married back then because they were all about free love,” she laughed.
The ’80s brought the infa-mous big hair: all puffed-up on top, and in the ’90s until today, women have wanted all sorts of styles depending on if their ceremony is indoors or outdoors, but up-dos still remain the most popular.
The ladies at Hair Four You
take wedding-day hair very seri-ously. “We usually do a trial where they come in and we discuss the shape of the bride’s face, the texture of her hair, her likes and dislikes, then try out a few styles so she can choose one for her big day,” said Joan of the process.
The day of the ceremony, they meet the bride at their venue, or she comes to the salon to have it done if she isn’t getting married far away.
Although many clients have been with them for ten years or more, they welcome new cus-tomers and are delighted to be offered the chance to style their hair for their wedding.
Hair Four You is located at 122 East St. in Plainville.
Hair Four You sylists can create the ‘do’ for you
Erica Schmitt
Eileen Hackling and Joan Nicastro of Hair Four You in Plainville.
‘We’ve known most of these women since they were little girls. It’s an honor to be a part of their special day.’LISA NICASTROhairdresser
Saturday, October 16, 2010 | 7New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press WEDDINGS
There are no etiquette rules regarding whether children should attend weddings. The decision is entirely up to the couple get-ting married.
If you are a guest invited to a wedding and your children are not, there is no reason to take offense. You should certainly respect the wishes of the bride and groom. It is improper to turn up at the occasion with your children and put the couple on the spot.
Young children are unpredictable and can-not be trusted to behave at all times. Couples may not want to have their festivities to be interrupted by children who may be a little too boisterous.
Also, children may be an inconvenience to adults simply looking to have a good time. How much can you enjoy yourself if you are constantly keeping an eye on a toddler or tending to an infant? Chances are your wed-ding experience will be compromised.
All in all, many other couples welcome the idea of having children at their weddings. Children represent the extended family and
the next generation. They can add life to a party and look adorable dressed in party clothes.
If your child is invited to a wedding, or you are the happy couple tying the knot, consider these tips.
■ Although children of all ages may be welcome, it’s often better to limit children to ages 4 and older, especially if they’ll be participating in the ceremony as a ring bearer or flower girl. Children of this age are better able to take direction and are a little more mature. Check if your ceremony site has rules regarding children in the ceremony.
■ If you want to compromise when invit-ing children, allow them to be present at the church or synagogue, but restrict them from the reception. You can carefully word this on the invitation by saying “Adult Reception.”
■ Talk to the caterer to find out if there is a reduced fare on children’s dinners. This can save on costs, particularly if children aren’t likely to eat an adult meal.
■ Children invited to the wedding reception
should be dressed accordingly for the formal-ity of the event. Now is not the time for sneakers and jeans.
■ Provide entertainment for children dur-ing the lulls of the event. Kids may love to get up and dance, but become antsy during dinner courses. Pack along a goodie bag of games, DVDs and toys that can keep them occupied.
■ Find out if you can bring along a kid’s chaperone, namely a babysitter or friend who can keep an eye on the kids while you enjoy yourself.
■ The bride and groom may want to set up a “kiddie corral” area in the reception room, particularly if they plan to invite a lot of young children. Put down foam interlock-ing mats and fence off the area so kids are contained.
■ If the wedding will be open to children, consider adjusting the hours so that it takes place earlier in the day. This way parents will have time to get their children to bed close to their normal bedtime
Approaching the issue of children at weddings
When two people decide to get mar-ried, they’re not only combining their possessions, but they’re also bringing together unique ideas about personal finance. These ideas may bring challeng-es to the relationship and should be discussed beforehand for the best start to the marriage.
Planning ahead can build a strong finan-cial foundation for a new marriage. Before a couple becomes a family unit, each per-son has his or her own way of saving and spending, as well as their own approach to finances. Additionally, one person may be
bringing more debt to the relationship than the other. How finances will be handled should be one of the first conversations — even before a reception venue is booked or a wedding gown is chosen.
When joining finances, consider these factors.
Bank accounts
Generally couples will find that a com-bination of joint and personal accounts makes finances easier. The joint account is used for monthly bills, housing expens-es and things the couple does together. Separate accounts can be used for discre-tionary spending, like vacation accounts, dabbling in investments or simply for splurging. This enables each person to have an independent identity but also
share the responsibility of being a couple.
Budgeting expenses
Even if each individual had a bud-get before the marriage, the financial status of a spouse will change the out-look. Although each person may have their preferences on certain items, talking through the best ways to pool resources and save money can be an effective start to their life together.
Estate planning
Just because a couple is relatively young and newly married doesn’t mean they shouldn’t begin planning for their future — including a family — immediately. Couples should explore the options on
life and medical insurance plans. Sitting down with a financial planner can help, and he or she may be able to spell out options in retirement savings or educa-tion savings. It’s never too early to begin investigating these scenarios.
Keep the lines of communication open
Money often makes or breaks a rela-tionship. Having similar goals regarding saving and spending is often the key to couples melding together. The best way to work through difficulties and avoid problems concerning finances is always to talk through all of the options. Having an open line of communication about money — and participating equally in the house-hold finances — can help equal marital success.
Tips for couples about to marry their finances, tooPlanning ahead builds a strong foundation fora new marriage
Whichever destination cou-ples choose to spend their first vacation as husband and wife, one thing all couples can count is the cost. More specifically, the high cost of the honeymoon is something to count on. However, not all honeymoons need to break the bank. In fact, there are several ways couples can save substantial amounts of money while still enjoying their first getaway as a married couple.
■ Research where you’ll be staying. Oftentimes, hotels offer luxury at a very high price. Particularly in locales where many couples spend their hon-eymoon, such accommodations can be quite costly. However,
savvy couples might be able to circumvent costly hotel accom-modations if they do their research early. Bed and break-fasts (B&B), for example, often range from practical to ultra-luxurious, and tend to cost a fraction of what luxury hotels charge. Many couples actually prefer B&Bs, feeling they’re more charming and cozy.
One thing to be diligent about with respect to B&Bs is the size of the accommoda-tions, most notably the bedding. Not all B&Bs provide king or even queen-size bedding, and some might not provide private bathrooms. Be sure to confirm with the B&B as to each room’s accommodations before making
a reservation.
■ Consider traveling during
the “off ” season. Whereas spring and summer were once the most popular seasons to tie the knot, nowadays many couples are look-ing to the fall to get married. While the months of June and July remain the most popular, September and October wed-dings have grown in popularity for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the aesthetic appeal of the fall seasons.
Another advantage to a fall wedding is the opportunity for couples to save money on their honeymoon by traveling during the “off ” season. Peak season at beachside resorts is typically the summer months, and rates are therefore higher. However, traveling to a resort during the “off ” season can save
substantial amounts of money, and the weather will no doubt still be beautiful. What’s more, local business will most likely boast better deals as well, and the resort will not be as crowded as it typically is during peak season.
■ Consider a cruise. Cruises might seem more expensive at first glance, but many cruises offer all-inclusive deals, wherein food and beverages are all paid for, and entertainment is pro-vided. In addition, couples who take a cruise will get the chance to see a variety of seaside locales. And since the cruise already has an itinerary planned, it’s a nice break from all the planning that went into the wedding.
8 | Saturday, October 16, 2010 WEDDINGS New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press
■ Hawaii: With it’s mountain-ous landscape, beautiful foliage and awe-inspiring ocean, the islands of Hawaii can be the perfect locale for honeymoon bliss.
■ Italy: Pick from retreats in the country to cliffside resorts.
■ St. Lucia: One of the Caribbean’s lushest islands.
■ Tahiti: Known for fine
dining and plenty of water-based activities.
■ Mexico: Close proximity to the United States
■ Jamaica: Laid-back tropical island
■ France: Often a top destination for couples.
■ Bermuda: A popular cruise ship port of call.
■ U.S. Virgin Islands: IA tropical honeymoon getaway without the hassle of passport travel
■ South Africa: Experience awe-inspiring wildlife on safari or modern cities and exclusive neighborhoods.
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Saturday, October 16, 2010 | 9New Britain Herald| The Bristol Press WEDDINGS
A second wedding is a chance to focus more on what you want as a couple instead of the wedding your parents may had hoped for you. Today there are no rules in second weddings; the happy couple can customize it as they see fit.
Chances are someone you know will make another trip down the aisle at one point in his or her life. Individuals who have lost a spouse or have divorced may eventually choose to remarry.
Second weddings are a great way for couples to showcase their personalities and don’t have to be constrained by tradition. Here are some top tips for taking that trip down the aisle the second time around.
■ Put your first wedding out of your mind. Now is not the time to make comparisons. This wedding should be all about you and your new spouse-to-be. Go for some-thing completely different than your prior wedding so there will be no side-by-side comparisons.
■ Choose a wedding party you really want. You can have a lav-ish wedding again, complete with a big bridal party. However, this time around you can choose the friends and family members you really desire to stand beside you,
instead of individuals you may have felt obligated to include the first time around.
■ Go ahead and wear white. Tradition once stated that take-two brides were not supposed to wear white. Toss tra-dition aside and go ahead and do what you want. Just be sure the gown compli-ments your age and body shape and doesn’t seem too virginal. If your previous wedding was annulled, you also may be able to wear a wedding veil.
■ Include your children in the festivities and planning. If you or your future spouse has children from a previous marriage, make them feel a part of this new blended family by including them in the second wedding. They may play a role in the ceremony, such as mak-ing a speech or reading a religious passage. Other brides and grooms choose to have their children walk them down the aisle this time around. Also, involve the kids in the planning. They may be excited to
help you choose wedding vendors or address invitations.
■ Personalize your event. Take the time to write your own vows, make handmade favors or single out the special people in your lives.
■ Feel free to be extrava-gant. You may be more estab-lished in life with a secure job and big-ger paycheck. Therefore you can expand the wedding bud-get a little more. Go for all of the goodies you
may have passed on with your pre-vious marriage, such as exotic foods or that extra-long honeymoon.
■ Involve the groom as well. Today’s modern men want a say in their wedding just as much as the bride, say wedding experts. Make sure he is apprised of all the details and ensure that he is able to make it to vendor appointments and the like.
Just as a second wedding is a second chance for happiness, it is another opportunity to throw the wedding of your dreams.
Take two — top tips for taking trip down aisle for second time
Second weddings are a great way for couples to showcase their personalities and don’t have to be constrained by tradition.
Do-it-yourself projectsDIY wedding projects are the perfect way for brides to save money without sacrificing style on the big day. Those looking to create truly unique decor on a budget can find all the treasures needed at Savers thrift stores — interesting fabrics, vintage ware, buttons, baubles and more. To show budget savvy brides how to transform these goods into a beautiful, one-of-a-kind affiar, Savers thrift stores and crafting expert Blair Stoker from the crafting blog Wisecraft put together tips and project guides to inspire creativity. From boutonnieres to ‘thank you’ gifts, anyone can create the perfect look for the perfect day with the projects found on Savers.com. For instructions and images of each project visit www.savers.com/Weddings.aspx. All projects can be tailored to any color scheme, allowing for complete customization — every bride’s dream.
On Sundays, we have a great brunch buffet which has been voted the best in the area.For special occasions, we have private rooms to accommodate any party or function.
10 | Saturday, October 16, 2010 WEDDINGS New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press
Planning a wedding? There are certain terms that every bride and groom should learn so they can be more informed in the process.
Ascot: A wide, formal tie gen-erally reserved for formal daytime weddings.
Blusher: A short veil that cov-ers the brides’ face before the ceremony.
Bodice: Close, upper-fitting part of the dress.
Boutonniere: Flower or flowers that are worn by the men in the wedding party. The boutonniere always should be affixed to the left side of the jacket.
Buttercream: Most common icing used on wedding cakes.
Cathedral train: Train, or long piece of fabric that extends 61/2 to 71/2 feet from the waist.
Cornelli: Decorative form of icing that resembles lacework on wedding cakes.
Cutaway Jacket: Jacket that tapers from the front waist but-ton to a long, wide back tail;
accessories include a wing-collar shirt with an ascot and a coordi-nating vest.
Ganache: Rich chocolate filling or topping made from chocolate and heavy cream.
Garland: Flowers and/or green leaves that are draped over railings.
Girdle: The outer edge or the widest part of the diamond form-ing a band around the stone.
Illusion: Fine netting used for veils, headpieces, and on the sleeves and necklines of dresses.
Inclusion: An internal imper-fection on a diamond.
Nosegay: Small bouquet featur-ing posies.
Tea Length: Length of dress or skirt that falls several inches above the ankles.
Topiary: Flowers or foliage trained and trimmed into geo-metric shapes, often resembling miniature trees or animals.
Tussy Mussy: Silver cone-shaped holder for a bouquet.
Wedding glossary
This wedding gown by Clau-dine has an empire waist with double ruffle straps and an asymmetrically tiered full skirt with train.
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ASKCARLEY
Guest list Q. My parents are paying for our
wedding and have agreed to host 100 guests at a seated-dinner recep-tion with an open bar. But both my fiance and his parents are having a fit because they want to invite more guests than that. I feel this is unfair and I wonder how to resolve it.
A. Your groom and his parents are being unreasonable How to handle it without causing a major blowout? They are your future husband and in-laws. You need to confront them calmly about this.Explain the facts: Your parents have volunteered to foot the bill for 100 guests. You can’t ask them for more than they are already giving, nor should you. If your fiance and his family want to invite more guests, tell them they’re more than welcome to do so — as long as they are also willing to con-tribute the money to cover those guests for the reception. End of story. It’s difficult to imagine what kind of rational argument they could make against that. The key is that if you’re calm and rational, they will feel silly not reacting the same way. It’s all in the way you present it.
It sounds like you need to have a good talk with your man, too. Find out why he doesn’t understand that your parents are generous people, but don’t have bottomless pockets. This misunderstanding could be a sign of very different attitudes toward money matters, which isn’t the end of the world, but it’s definitely an issue that will come up in your marriage.
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Saturday, October 16, 2010 | 11New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press WEDDINGS
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12 | Saturday, October 16, 2010 WEDDINGS New Britain Herald | The Bristol Press
