WELCOME TO MS PARENT UNIVERSITYMarch 9, 2019

THE MIDDLE KINGDOMThrive through Engagement

WELCOME

Why?

How?

What?

Think about it as it relates to being a parent

We will re-visit at the end of presentation

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE MIDDLE KINGDOM

• From traditional 2 schools to 3 schools

• Compare & contrast impact of 2 vs 3 school transitions

• Social emotional stigma of being in the middle

• What is really happening to your student

• Impact on social emotional and mental development

• Middle school years are critical to future success – HIGH School and beyond

• Helping your student thrive

THE MIDDLE SCHOOL

• The first middle school in America opened in Bay City, Michigan, in 1950

• Based on Paul George’s research, many opened in late 1960s

• Structured to host students from grades six through eight

• Based on the belief that sixth grade were intellectually and socially advanced beyond the confines of elementary schools

• Most students in sixth grade were of the age of puberty, and hence entering the first stages of adulthood

• Sixth grade was the appropriate grade to begin to transition from elementary to secondary education

MIDDLE KINGDOM

Physical Growth

Social

Growth

Brain Growth

Emotional Growth

Comfort ZonesHormones

LIFE IN MIDDLE KINGDOM 1

Life in Middle Kingdom 1

DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES

• Physical

• Cognitive

• Language

• Social-Emotional

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT

• Become a little more clumsy as height and weight change quickly

• Start showing uneven development in skills like agility, balance, strength and flexibility; may be able to run fast, but not gracefully

• Need more rest since so much energy is being used for growing

• Have a difference between body and brain growth; may be more mature physically than cognitively or emotionally

COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT

• Start to understand concepts like power and influence

• Question things; don’t take everything at face value

• Think about how current actions affect the future; may worry about things like climate change and war

• Memorize information more easily

• Use flexible thinking, such as checking work and changing approaches as needed

• Begin developing a worldview, including a basic set of values

• Want to contribute and make money

LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT

• Use metaphors, slang and different ways of speaking

• Are interested in having discussions, debates and arguments (sometimes just for the sake of it)

• Start to “get” and pay more attention to body language, tone of voice and other nonverbal language cues (See what trouble picking up on social cues can look like at this age.)

• Go through “what-if” scenarios and talk through other ways of problem solving

SOCIAL EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

• Bow to peer pressure to be like others; have experiences with bullying

• Be sensitive to other people’s opinions and reactions; think the whole world is watching

• Develop a sense of pride in accomplishments and an awareness of challenges

• Keep secrets (often being able to have secrets is more important than the secret they’re keeping)

• Have a better awareness of what’s appropriate to say in different situations

KEY TAKE AWAYS

• At this age, it’s not unusual for kids to begin to question everything, including their parents’ authority and opinions

• Peer pressure can be an issue for middle school students, especially those who struggle with social skills

• Kids develop at different rates

UNDERSTANDING THE ZONES OF EXISTENCE AND TRANSITIONING

Zones overlap and for different periods

of time

Behavior traits associated with each

zone, but overlap and for different

periods of time

Comfort Zone – Ends at grade 5

Fear Zone – Transition to a new school

Learning Zone – Out of Fear Zone

Growth Zone – Applying learned skills

TRANSITION FEARS – GRADE 5 TO 6STUDENT POLL

• Building – don’t know where to go

• Lockers – don’t remember where it is, how to open it

• Schedule – don’t understand how it works

• Hours – don’t want to be late

• Teachers – too many to remember

• Rules – have to remember the rules

• Classes – more classes, difficult, homework

• Peers – taller, bigger, more mature, less mature, etc.

BEHAVIOR IN THE FEAR ZONE

What does it look like when your student…

• Lack of self confidence

• Finds Excuses

• Affected by others’ opinions

BEHAVIOR IN THE LEARNING ZONE

What does it look like when your student…

• Deals with challenges and problems

• Acquires new skills

• Extends comfort zone

BRAIN GROWTH

• Adolescence is a critical time for brain growth

• Significant intellectual processes are emerging

• Moving from concrete to abstract thinking and to the beginnings of metacognition (the active monitoring and regulation of thinking processes)

• Developing skills in deductive reasoning, problem solving, and generalizing

BEHAVIOR DURING BRAIN GROWTH

• Changes manifest themselves in behaviors that are observable and stereotypical of middle school students

• Taken in concert with the other major development issues at this age, brain development reinforces the following typical adolescent behaviors:

- Engaging in strong, intense interests, often short lived

- Preferring interactions with their peers

- Preferring active to passive learning

LIFE IN THE MIDDLE KINGDOM 2

HELPING YOUR STUDENT THRIVE

ADDRESS TRANSITIONAL FEARS

• Develop solutions together, develop problem solving skills

• Plan together, develop organizational skills

• Explain reasons, develop critical thinking skills

• Model behavior you want in your child, develop self-esteem

• Use positive feedback, develop confidence

• Do things together, develop teamwork skills

• Engage in conversation

• Acknowledge frustration

• Know when to resist combative engagement

KNOW THE CORE AREAS OF SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING

What

can you

do to

help

your

student

master

the

core

areas?

SELF AWARENESS• Understanding your emotions and thoughts and how they influence

your behavior.

• Skills include:

identifying emotions

self-perception

recognizing strengths

self-confidence

self-efficacy

• Self-efficacy is the belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplishment of a task

SELF MANAGEMENT• The ability to regulate your emotions and behaviors in different

situations and to set and work toward goals

• Skills include:

executive function and self-regulation

stress-management

self-discipline

• Executive function and self-regulation are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully.

• Our brains need this skill set to filter distractions, prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and control impulses

RESPONSIBLE DECISION MAKING

• The ability to make positive choices and take responsibility for positive and negative outcomes

• Skills include:

identifying problems

analyzing situations

solving problems

reflection

SOCIAL AWARENESS

• The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others

• Skills include:

empathy

appreciating differences

respect

RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

• The ability to establish and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with others

• Skills include:

communicating clearly

listening

cooperation

resisting negative pressure

resolving conflicts

supporting one another

BEING A PARENT

• Love your child and show your affection for them

• Hug, cuddle, read, and talk with them throughout the day

• Encourage your child to try new things. Help them see what they are capable of

• Let your child know you are pleased with their accomplishments

• Give your child opportunities to play with other children their age

• Help them explore their world and get to know the people in it

• Model kind and generous behaviors when interacting with other adults and children

MORE ABOUT BEING A PARENT

• Show your feelings

• Let your child see when you are happy or sad. This helps them to develop empathy for others

• Establish daily routines. Your child will feel confident and secure. They will learn that events can happen in an organized way

• Create routines that are predictable but flexible

• Acknowledge your child’s feelings

• Help them talk about what they feel and how they are feeling

• Comfort your child when they are upset

• Hold them and speak softly and calmly

HANDOUTS

• Age appropriate chores for children

• 10 ways to help your child succeed in Middle School

• 10 ways to help your child look after their mental health

RESOURCES• https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/brain-

architecture/

• https://www.lapetite.com/blog/2015/02/promoting-social-emotional-development-in-your-child/

• https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/articles/teaching-content/grades-6-8-social-emotional-skills/

• https://www.wingsforkids.org/sel/social-emotional-learning/core-competencies/

• https://www.understand.org

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaDPeZQnUHo

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR2rY2hdW2A

MINDFUL REFLECTIONS

• Do you know what it’s like to be in the middle?

• Do you remind yourself of someone when you engage your child?

• Are you a ready to accept that your child is a mirror image of you?

• Are you a mirror image of a parent, grandparent, etc.?

• Do you see your childhood resistance persistent in your child?

• Are you able to see the gift being presented to you by your child?

• Do you like who you are?

• Is this a way to show long awaited gratitude?

• Staying in the mindful zone?

REVISITING OUR PAST

• WHY?

Because you hold a vision of your child and the dreams of its future

• How?

By being mindfully responsible for your child's development at the least, during it’s critical years….

• What?

What were you like during those years? What did you need during those years? What could have been done differently?

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!