What to Expect When Expecting Desire ?  

SexualFocus.com.auWhat to Expect When Expecting Desire ?  

What to Expect When Expecting Desire ?   SexualFocus.com.au

Take  a  deep  warm  breath  in,  as  deeply  as  you  can,  as  if  you  can’t  take  in  any  more    and  then  I  want  you  to  let  it  all  out.      This  deep  breath  is  all  about  you.  As  you  luxuriously  inhale  and  exhale,  your  mind  will  start  to  bring  your  awareness  back  into  your  body,  into  this  moment,  now.      As  you  con>nue  to  breathe  with  conscious  awareness  no>ce  how  you  are  feeling  and  at  the  end  of  the  next  deep  breathe  I’d  like  you  to  smile.    Just  a  li@le.  Feels  light  -­‐  right.      I’d  like  you  to  journey  back  in  >me  to  a  >me  when  desiring  touch,  in>macy,  sexual  a@en>on  and  sex  with  your  partner  was  desired  by  you.      A  >me  when  responding  to  them  happened  with  ease.      A  >me  when  you  craved  to  spend  more  >me  together,  when  you  longed  for  their  touch,  their  breath,  their  kiss,  their  a@en>on.        To  a  >me  when  you  wanted  them  to  want  you      

What to Expect When Expecting Desire ?   SexualFocus.com.au

Can  you  take  yourself  to  a  place  where  you  can  feel  as  you  once  did?    Close  your  eyes  and  spend  a  few  moments  recalling  those  memories.      ~~~    As  you  open  your  eyes  and  recall  those  moments,  those  memories,  How  do  you  feel  in  your  body?    Was  there  at  >me  when  you  experienced  desire  for  your  partner?    Where  you  able  to  tap  into  those  feelings,  now?    Are  you  feeling  warm  and  fuzzy?  Are  you  feeling  turned  on?    ~~~  When  you  think  about  desiring  sex  these  days  what  thoughts  come?    Do  you  spend  your  >me  thinking  about  your  evening  with  them  in  the  way    that  you  use  to?      

What to Expect When Expecting Desire ?   SexualFocus.com.au

If  you  find  it  difficult  to  tap  into  your  sexual  desire  I’m  wondering  if  you  know  why  that  might  be?    

Life  Kids  Work  Stress  Finances  Laundry  Family  dramas  Not  communica>ng  well  Your  partner  is  driving  you  nuts?  

 When  we  are  s>ll  forming  a@achments  we  can  find  it  so  much  easier  to  priori>se  >me  with  our  partners  but  as  >me  passes  and  life  gets  hec>c  our  focus  can  shiS  elsewhere.  It  can  become  even  harder  to  push  life  stressors  and  other  commitments  aside  as  we  try  to  pause  our  lives  so  that  we  can  refocus  and  reconnect  with  our  partner.  

What to Expect When Expecting Desire ?   SexualFocus.com.au

So  when  you  think  about  your  libido  and  desiring  sex  what  do  you  expect  to  be  feeling?  

 Whatever  your  answer  might  be,  most  will  want  it  to  be  as  it  used  to  be?    What’s  on  your  list?  

o  I  used  to  think  about  them  all  day  o  I  used  to  dress  in  things  that  would  come  off  easily,  just  in  case!  o  I  used  to  sit  there  hoping  that  they  would  lean  over  and  touch  you  o  When  we  weren’t  in>mate  I  would  wonder  if  everything  was  OK  o  I  expected  us  to  be  in>mate  when  we  got  together  o  It  used  to  be  easy  o  My  body  always  responded  o  My  body  was  always  ready  o  It  felt  so  good  o  It  felt  natural  o  It  happened  spontaneously  

What to Expect When Expecting Desire ?   SexualFocus.com.au

Whatever  your  story,  whatever  your  memories  are,  if  you  find  it  difficult  to  

get  into  the  mood  for  sex  then  you  can’t  help  but  wonder  what  happened  and  how  to  get  it  back.    Not  feeling  the  way  you  used  to  tells  you  that  you  don’t  want  sex  because  you  remember  what  it  felt  like  when  you  did  and  this  is  not  how  you  used  to  feel.    So  let  me  throw  some  ques>ons  your  way…    What  is  your  defini>on  of  desire?  When  you  don’t  desire  sex  what  isn’t  happening?  

 What  are  you  not  feeling?    What  are  you  not  thinking?    What  are  you  not  able  to  do?  

 Most  people  will  say  that  they  just  don’t  feel  like  it.    Whatever  you  are  meant  to  feel,  well  it’s  not  there.          

What to Expect When Expecting Desire ?   SexualFocus.com.au

 Ok  so    

 does  you  brain  want  sex  but  your  body  can’t  respond  Or    

 does  your  brain  not  want  sex  and  your  body  definitely  can’t  respond.        What  we  expect  to  be  feeling  can  affect  whether  or  not  we  engage  with  our  partner  in  that  moment  and  whether  or  not  we  allow  ourselves    to  move  towards  sexual  in>macy.  To  decide  to  yes  to  sex.      To  help  you  delve  a  li@le  deeper  into  this    I  have  created  two  quick  videos  for  you.    Well  actually  I  did  two  takes  and  I  have  decided  to  share  both  of  them  with  you.    It  would  be  amazing  if  you  could  share  your  thoughts  about  what  you  can  relate  to  bellow  the  videos  on  the  website.    I  can’t  wait  to  hear  from  you.