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Why can’t you

borrow money

from a

leprechaun?

They’re always

a little short!

Why did the

leprechaun turn

down the bowl

of soup?

Because he

already had a

pot of gold!

What do you

call a fake

stone in

Ireland?

A sham-rock!

Why do

leprechauns

hate running?

They’d rather jig

than jog!

Where would

you find a

leprechaun

baseball team?

In Little League!

How can you

spot a jealous

shamrock?

He’ll be green

with envy!

What do you

get when you

cross poison

ivy with a for

leaf clover?

A rash of good

luck!

How is a best

friend like a

four-leaf

clover?

Because

they’re hard to

find and lucky

to have!

Why shouldn’t

you iron a

four-leaf

clover?

Because you

shouldn’t

press your

luck!

What’s Irish

and stays out

all night?

Patty

O’Furniture!

March Equinox in Toronto, Ontario, Canada is on Thursday, March 19, 2020 at 11:49

pm.

In the Northern Hemisphere, astronomers and scientists use the March equinox as

the start of spring, which ends on the June solstice, when astronomical summer

begins.

Many cultures around the world celebrate the whole day as the March equinox.

However, in reality, the equinox occurs at a specific moment in time when the Sun

crosses the celestial equator, the imaginary line in the sky above Earth’s Equator,

from south to north.

At this moment, Earth's axis is tilted neither away from nor towards the Sun, but is

rather perpendicular to the Sun's rays.

Equinoxes and solstices are opposite on either side of the equator. The March

equinox is the spring (vernal) equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, marking the start

of astronomical spring. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is the autumnal (fall) equinox,

which marks the beginning of fall.

The Toronto Maple Leaf’s hockey team was known as the Toronto St.

Patrick’s from 1919 to 1927, and wore green jerseys. In 1999, when the

Maple Leaf’s played on St Patrick's Day, they wore green St Patrick's

retro uniforms.

A woman walks into a drugstore and tells the pharmacist that she

needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist says, “Why in the world would you need cyanide?”

The woman explains that she needs it to kill her husband.

The pharmacist’s eyes get big and he exclaims, “Lord, have mercy! I

can’t just give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the

law – I’ll lose my license; they’ll throw you and me in jail. Just leave

and forget you ever came in here before I call the police.”

The woman reaches into her purse and pulls out a photograph of her

husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looks at the photograph and says, “Well now, you

didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

I saw a sign that

said “Watch for

children” and I

think that’s a fair

trade.

I recently

decided to sell

my vacuum

cleaner because

all it’s been

doing is

gathering dust.

Today a man

knocked on my

door and asked

for a small

donation for the

local swimming

pool.

I gave him a

glass of water.

Did you hear

about the crook

who stole a

calendar?

He got twelve

months.

What’s the

difference

between bird flu

and swine flu?

Bird flu requires

tweetment and

swine flu requires

oinkment.

Some cause

happiness

wherever they go.

Some, whenever

they go.

My psychiatrist told

me I was crazy so I

told him I wanted

a second

opinion... He said

okay, you’re ugly,

too!

I used to be

indecisive. Now,

I’m not sure.

It’s Syrup Season!!

Maple syrup is a syrup usually made from the xylem sap of sugar maple, red maple,

or black maple trees, although it can also be made from other maple species. In cold

climates, these trees store starch in their trunks and roots before winter; the starch

is then converted to sugar that rises in the sap in late winter and early spring. Maple

trees are tapped by drilling holes into their trunks and collecting the exuded sap,

which is processed by heating to evaporate much of the water, leaving the

concentrated syrup. Most trees produce 20 to 60 litres (5 to 15 US gallons) of sap per

season.

Maple syrup was first made and used by the indigenous peoples of North America,

and the practice was adopted by European settlers, who gradually refined

production methods. Technological improvements in the 1970s further refined syrup

processing. The Canadian province of Quebec is by far the largest producer,

responsible for 70 percent of the world's output; Canadian exports of maple syrup in

2016 were C$487 million (about US$360 million), with Quebec accounting for some

90 percent of this total.

The Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist is an informal name for a months-long theft

between 2011–12 of nearly 3,000 tons of maple syrup, valued at C$18.7 million from

a storage facility in Quebec. The facility was operated by the Federation of Quebec

Maple Syrup Producers who represent a huge portion of the global maple syrup

supply, and have been compared to a cartel. Adjusted for inflation (2018) this heist

was the most valuable in Canadian history.

Read that again. Canada’s largest theft in history was MAPLE SYRUP.

Guard your pancakes, people!

Today, well known hit man Johnny Two-Shoes admitted that he was

once hired to kill a cow in a rice field using only two small porcelain

figurines. Police reports indicate that this is the only known incident

of a Knick Knack Paddy Whack.

May you never forget

what is worth remembering nor ever

remember what is best forgotten.

St. Patrick’s Day Trivia

1. The flag of Ireland is white, orange and ______.

2. Small, mischievous sprites.

3. What you get if you don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s

Day.

4. St. Patrick was the patron saint of ________.

5. Something you kiss to get the gift of the gab.

6. A good luck symbol.

BLARNEY STONE LEPRECHAUNS

PINCH IRELAND

GREEN FOUR LEAF CLOVER

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A leprechaun (Irish: leipreachán/luchorpán) is a type of fairy of the Aos Sí in Irish

folklore. They are usually depicted as little bearded men, wearing a coat and hat,

who partake in mischief. They are solitary creatures who spend their time making

and mending shoes and have a hidden pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If

captured by a human, they often grant three wishes in exchange for their freedom.

Like other Irish fairies, leprechauns may be derived from the Tuatha Dé Danann.

Leprechaun-like creatures rarely appear in Irish mythology and only became

prominent in later folklore.

The earliest known reference to the leprechaun appears in the medieval tale known

as the Echtra Fergus mac Léti (Adventure of Fergus son of Léti). The text contains an

episode in which Fergus mac Léti, King of Ulster, falls asleep on the beach and wakes

to find himself being dragged into the sea by three lúchorpáin. He captures his

abductors, who grant him three wishes in exchange for release.

Pg 8

RIVERSTONE REVIEW March 2020

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

Celista – Mar 22

Saint Patrick's Day is a cultural and religious celebration held Patrick was a 5th-century Romano-British Christian

missionary and bishop in Ireland. Much of what is known about Saint Patrick comes from the Declaration, which

was allegedly written by Patrick himself. It is believed that he was born in Roman Britain in the fourth century,

into a wealthy Romano-British family. His father was a deacon and his grandfather was a priest in the Christian

church. According to the Declaration, at the age of sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken as a slave

to Gaelic Ireland. It says that he spent six years there working as a shepherd and that during this time he "found

God". The Declaration says that God told Patrick to flee to the coast, where a ship would be waiting to take him

home. After making his way home, Patrick went on to become a priest.

According to tradition, Patrick returned to Ireland to convert the pagan Irish to Christianity. The Declaration says

that he spent many years evangelizing in the northern half of Ireland and converted "thousands". Patrick's

efforts against the druids were eventually turned into an allegory in which he drove "snakes" out of Ireland,

despite the fact that snakes were not known to inhabit the region.

Tradition holds that he died on 17 March and was buried at Downpatrick. Over the following centuries, many

legends grew up around Patrick and he became Ireland's foremost saint.

One of the longest-running and largest St Patrick's Day parades in North America occurs each year in Montreal,

whose city flag includes a shamrock in its lower-right quadrant. The yearly celebration is organized by the United

Irish Societies of Montreal and the parade has been held yearly without interruption since 1824. St Patrick's Day

itself, however, has been celebrated in Montreal since as far back as 1759 by Irish soldiers in the Montreal

Garrison following the British conquest of New France. In Saint John, New Brunswick St. Patrick's Day is

celebrated as a week-long celebration. In Manitoba, the Irish Association of Manitoba runs a yearly three-day

festival of music and culture based around St Patrick's Day.

Don’t forget your green this St. Patrick’s Day!

Don’t forget to turn your clocks ahead on March 8!