White Rabbit [Sample Excerpt] for 18+ readers

8/12/2019 White Rabbit [Sample Excerpt] for 18+ readers

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Best Selling Crime Writer and Richard & Judy Summer Read Winner James Oswald

says of White Rabbit:

Being a fan of mashing up genres myself, I was of course delighted to see

someone else playing fast and loose with things. The central idea of the

story a real psychic pretending to be a fake is delicious, too. The

mystery was deftly played with just the right balance of action and

character interplay to keep me turning the pages.

WHITE RABBIT

for r B

who lured me into crime

like a stranger with candy

A !ourney is an hallucination"# $ %e Sely

I 'as logging some mileage in the luminiferous ether 'hen an urgent (noc(ing derailed my

concentration" Cursing Jin)*s name+he ought to (no' etter y no'+I tried to ignore the hammering,

ut I 'as already ac(-.edalling in 'eird s.ace and falling u. the rait hole into the lin(ing light"

/othing0# 1y client, a 'an young man of indeterminate age, loo(ed dis.leased utunsur.rised" Such lo' e).ectations deser2ed disa..ointment"

A.ologies for the interru.tion,# I murmured, getting u. and crossing to the door 'here my

.rot3g3 continued to .ound 'ith insane enthusiasm" I !er(ed it o.en, catching his fist in mid-air and

t'isting it shar.ly"

He 'him.ered"

I*m 'ith a client,# I said through clenched teeth, sho2ing his hand a'ay from me" What ha2e

'e said aout interru.ting me 'ith clients0# I turned around to smile at the .ale young man 'ith the

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doughy face" I don*t 'ant to e interru.ted" Each client is im.ortant"#

Jin) 'inced" Then he leaned for'ard to indicate 'e 'ere to confer .ri2ately" The effect 'ould

ha2e een im.ro2ed had his reath not stun( of the chea. (idney .ie he*d consumed earlier, or if his

.asty 'hite face did not resemle an emotionally-stunted .anda*s second cousin" I could ha2e done

'ithout his .resence altogether at that moment" Then he handed me the scra'led note that 'ould

change my life"

In his untidy slant a..eared the 'ords, 5eaches %oc(muir"#

If I*d een a Te) A2ery cartoon character my eyes 'ould ha2e ulged, made the a-'hoo-gah

horn lare and then the clan(ing sound of a till o.ening its dra'er and coins s.e'ing out onto the floor"

I*m so 2ery sorry, 1r Toynee,# I said turning ac( to my morose client, ut something of an

emergency has come u., I*m afraid" 5lease see my colleague to reoo( our a..ointment" /o charge, of

course"# I hated to .ronounce those 'ords, ut etter one hare ran free today than uc(shot frighten the

lot of them"

Toynee stirred, gathering his elongings aout him" Why should anyone under the age of fifty

re6uire so much .ara.hernalia !ust to amle aout to'n0 I am gra2ely disa..ointed 'ith our session,

1r" %raygo"#As am I,# I agreed, trying not too inelegantly to gi2e him the hea2e-ho" We shall ha2e to try

again 'hen the .lanets are more .ro.itious"# What asolute t'addle" I (ne' Jin) 'ould oo( him for

Thursday 'ee("

Short of sho2ing him out the door myself, there 'asn*t much I could do to get Toynee on his

'ay, ut at last he did" I ran around the room relighting the candles that had gone out 'hile I tried to

contain my e)citement"

5eaches %oc(muir7 If you*re going to run a fly-y-night .sychic organisation inherited from

your late Auntie 8era, then you need a client li(e an 9er-trashy tro.hy 'ife from the .ro2inces li(e

5eaches+all glit, tac(y glamour and s.end-thrift 'ays 'ith a ottle tan to oot" The taloids s.lashed

her o2ine features across the .ages 'eighed do'n 'ith ling as she !et-setted from hither and yon" Icould almost feel the gold !ingling into my .oc(ets"

I hadn*t tasted that (ind of dosh since I left the life ehind" ;i2en my 'ea(ness I*d since thought

of turning to the chemical trade in order to return my oo(s to sol2ency, ut considering ho' many

former colleagues 'ere .anting for my lood, signs .ointed a'ay from that .ath, as 'e say in the trade"

Bitter loody ores, .olicemen are" /onetheless it had een for the est, as I doutless 'ould ha2e

ecome my o'n est customer all too soon" Call it a .remonition if you must"


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name"#

Which is0# I as(ed non.lussed"

Weiner"#

5eaches Weiner" It sounded li(e a chea. arecue reci.e" I smothered the giggle that 'anted to

esca.e my mouth" 1aye I had ingested a little more fairy dust than I thought or maye it 'as !ust the

incongruence of her cha2tastic loo( and that utter humourlessness" Say 'hat you 'ill of the demi!

monde, they (no' ho' to ha2e a laugh" Well, sit yourself do'n if you .lease, ut I as( again:

'ouldn*t you li(e a little more .ri2acy0 1ost of our clients .refer some solitude to commune 'ith

s.irits and reflect u.on the messages from eyond"# ;od, listen to the rusty crea(s in that s.eech" Had

so little changed from Bla2ats(y*s time0 Remind me to hire a carni2al ar(er to scrounge some ne'

.atter"

>i, my cousin 1aryelle said you 'eren*t no fraud, so I*m here, ut I don*t need the mumo

!umo, hear0# She .ointed a shiny manicured nail at me as if she 'ere 'ell accustomed to .utting the

tradesmen in their .lace" And I can*t get rid of them,# she added, !er(ing a thum at the scruffs and

loo(ing dis.leased and oddly uncomfortale" ?ntil the la'yers sort out the details I*m not allo'ed to

go any'here alone"#I loo(ed at the .halan) of security drones in lac( tees and trousers" They follo' you into the

loo0#

They do"# She made a face" %isgusting, innit0#

I almost felt sorry for her" There are .laces a .erson really needs to e alone"

I ha2e douled u. on the chea. curries in their honour,# she said 'ith a trium.hant smile" In

that glossy rictus I could see 'hy a man li(e %oc(muir might fall for her mo)ie" The hea2ies remained

statues ut I could sense a seething resentment"

What can I assist you 'ith0# I as(ed all Jee2es-li(e as 'e settled around the oa(" Auntie 8era*s

.atented s3ance tale offered old 'orld comforts 'ith ne' 'orld tech" Too soon for the 'hole

ramata, ut it al'ays ga2e comfort to ha2e it in reser2e"I don*t (no' 'hat I 'as e).ecting+her sainted mum or a de.arted .ooch+ut 5eaches

flummo)ed me y saying, I 'ant to tal( to the late 1rs" %oc(muir"#

?ne).ected that" When in dout, fall ac( on the scri.t" Ha2e you, er, got something of hers I

can use as an anchor0#

I got her man, ain*t I0# 5eaches laughed li(e a hyena" /ormally 'hen .eo.le say that, you

imagine they are erring some'hat to the side of truth" This 'as not the case"

Indeed,# I agreed all friendly li(e, noticing that the entourage did not share her mirth" %our to a

fault they 'ere" But I 'as ho.ing for something tangile that I could use to ma(e the+ah+

connection"#

Right"# 5eaches u.ended her doutless e).ensi2e handag on the tale and rifled through the

contents" I 'as .leased to see a tiny derringer 'ith shiny .earl handle gri.s" Someho' that sealed the

image of the gangster*s moll that she had een orn to e" Here, ho'*s this0 Was hers efore"#

She tossed me a long 'allet or chec( holder thing emlaoned 'ith the Coach name so I (ne'

it 'as .osh @hey, I*2e read magaines at the dentist*s too" I held it a minute for sho', then nodded

gra2ely" I thin( this 'ill do"#

Jin) had already gone around and relit the !oss stic(s and no' rought the lights do'n 'ith a


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slo' turn of the (no" Ah, the infinite uses of a dimmer s'itch, the .sychic*s est friend" The .osse

shifted a it uncomfortaly" et them" >ut of their comfort one and into mine"

I learned it from the est"

Auntie 8era taught me as a teen, the eternal Woodine dangling from the side of her li.stic(ed

mouth" It*s D .er cent sidesho' and D .er cent intuition,# she*d al'ays say as she s'a..ed out the

candle utts for fresh ta.ers" Fou (ee. it on that e2en (eel, you (ee. it .aying" 1ost .eo.le so an)ious

to (no' the ans'ers they tell *em to you" But don*t neglect the sho' or they*ll suss it out" E2eryody

'ants to elie2e"#

So I made a sho' of getting into the mind set 'hich 'as mostly a lot of .racticed gestures" The

fading s.ar( of fairy dust in my 2eins made me eager to re.lenish it, ut 'ith all things considered,

no' 'asn*t the time" I*d ha2e to actually use my o'n grey cells+!ust thin( of the gra2y train that had

.ulled u. at my door, I reminded my addled rain, that should e ins.iration enough" Fee doggies, as

the %u(e might say"

%o you (no' her Christian name0#

Her 'hat0# 5eaches loo(ed at me, mouth aga.e"

Her first name"#She snic(ered" I thought you meant 'hat name she 'as a.tised under" Ho' should I (no', I

'asn*t there" But her name 'as Beryl"#

Ho' unfortunate"# I closed my eyes and rolled my head around a little as I fle)ed my

shoulders" I held the 'allet et'een my hands, caressing the smooth leather" I call forth the s.irit of

Beryl %oc(muir, 'hose 'allet this 'as" Come forth and a..roach us if your s.irit e 'illing"# I ha2e

dulcet tones, my auntie al'ays said, smooth as this hand tooled leather in my hands" Rich fol( do ha2e

nice things"

%o I need to chant or summat0# 5eaches in6uired, .utting me off my rhythm"

/o,# I said 'ith a strained smile" Just stay silent and e rece.ti2e"# I re.eated my call to the

s.irit of Beryl if it e 'illing, rolling my head around gently as if .inging the strands of the luminous"Is that you, Beryl0# I as(ed 'hen the time seemed .ro.itious" I am sorry, 1rs" %oc(muir" I didn*t

mean to e so familiar"#

Can I as( her something0# 5eaches said, a little too eagerly"

>h, she*s dra'n ac(" Is there a shado' et'een you0#

Well, yeah,# 5eaches snorted" I 'as scre'ing her husand ehind her ac( three nights a 'ee(

efore she died" She might resent that a 'ee it"#

Indeed" She*s reluctant to s.ea( 'ith you"# et*s mine it for all 'e can, eh0 I could see

stretching this out for 'ee(s maye"

If you*re trying to dri2e the .rice u.,# 5eaches said, all too 6uic(ly, don*t 'orry aout it" I

rought cash 'ith me" Just as( her"#

Ca-ching7 There*s a lot to e said for the 6uic( score, too" What is it you*d li(e to as( of the

deceased0#

I 'ant to as( her aout the 'hite rait"# 5eaches loo(ed uncharacteristically grim" So did the

.osse ehind her" Well, they had loo(ed im.assi2e efore, ut I could feel an undercurrent of tension

that hadn*t een there efore" Fes, I do ha2e my moments"

The 'hite rait0#

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Feah, she ought to (no'" I mean I thin( she 'ill"#

I closed my eyes again" 1rs" %oc(muir, dra' near to us again" We ha2e an urgent 6uestion to

eg of you" 5lease 1rs" %oc(muir, dra' near+#

If she 'ants anything I can gi2e her+I mean, I can say sorry aout the old man,# 5eaches

rushed to offer" He turned out to e a right astard and it 'ere only a it of fun and, 'ell, I*d say more

ut they*re here"# She !er(ed her head at the cre' s.read out ehind her chair, their lac( sha.es in the

dar(ness li(e standing stones"

1rs" %oc(muir, can you forgi2e 5eaches for her transgressions0# I mouthed the 'ords 'ith

holy 2o'els, groo2ing on the asurdity" I could dine on this story for months, if only I had friends to

dine 'ith"

Is she forgi2ing me0#

Her mien loo(s more (indly"#

Her 'hat0#

Her e).ression" %ra' near, 1rs" %oc(muir" We ha2e an urgent 6uestion for you"# The room

hummed 'ith tense antici.ation" E2en the stone faces must e catching the s.irit, so to s.ea(" I might

not (no' much aout art, ut I (no' 'hen I*2e got a room in the .alm of my hand" I started to elie2eit myself"

Is she here0# 5eaches as(ed, nearly reathless"

She is near,# I said in my est James 1ason 2oice"

Sorry aout the old man,# 5eaches said, a hint of genuine feeling softening her tone" I can*t say

it 'asn*t 'orth it, ut he 'as a shit to you and to me as 'ell" We (no' 'hat he really cares aout, innit

so0#

She*s nodding"#

%oes she forgi2e me0#

I shrug" She cannot e res.onsile for your soul" But she doesn*t hold a grudge"#


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meant to unsettle the guilty" It 'ouldn*t 'or( on me for t'o reasons"


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%outless 1r" %oc(muir himself rec(oned matters 'ould e handled s'iftly" It*s 'hat he .aid

for after all" I loo(ed around the cell, 'ishing I*d had 6uieter 6uarters as the itch had egun to 'his.er

under my s(in" Half a doen other fol(s in transit !oined me: t'o drun(s !ust .ast the elligerent .oint

and eginning to settle into remorse, a cagey loo(ing hood 'ho glared at e2eryone ut (e.t to himself,

a guy 'ith the self-righteous loo( of a thief and an old 2agaond 'ho (e.t humming a Wanda Jac(son

tune under his reath"

I needed to thin(" I needed some dust" I 'anted to get out of there and re'ind the last hour or so

efore the itch got too much and I couldn*t see things clearly anymore" /one of that 'as going to

ha..en though" I e).ected I could get s.rung efore too long, ut it might ta(e o2ernight de.ending on

the circumstances" 5oor Jin) .roaly had een 'ell s.oo(ed and that might ma(e him forgetfulK

doutless he 'ould get around to calling my legal re. e2entually"

E2entually"

The oldster (e.t singing aout going do'n do'n do'n and ho' he 'as gonna get me someday

+or get someone someday" I su..ose I didn*t need to ta(e it .ersonally ut it egan to grate li(e

sand.a.er on my thoughts" I needed to calm myself" The caco.hony of the cell hammered me li(e a

nun*s ruler+not enough to really hurt, ut it (e.t my thoughts scramled" 1y ner2es shredded li(echea. .lastic carrier ags"

Right, I 'as etter than this" Calm thoughts, dee. reaths, no 'ishing I had a little .o'der to

course through my 2eins and .ut all right 'ith the 'orld" /o" I shuffled ac( across the cell, loo(ing

for a s.ot to sit do'n" I steered 'ell clear of the drun(s: too un.redictale" The old tram. (e.t

muttering and singing tunelessly, eyes closed, loo(ing almost eatific" He irritated me e2en more 'ith

his .eaceful loo("

I finally leaned in the corner, .ulling my rain 'a2es around me li(e a cloa(" Tried to get my

mind off s.inning and getting 'ea( in the (nees and going dee. as the old man sang" I had to release

the golden goose that I thought 5eaches 'ould e and rememer" 1y imaginings had cre.t onto a shiny

golden car.et and ta(en 'ing" They needed to come ac( do'n to earth"I tried to .icture the .halan) of security fol( radiating forth from the figure of 5eaches" I closed

my eyes ut it did no good" S6uat, muscular, clad ali(e in lac( tee shirts and !eans" There might e2en

ha2e een a 'oman among them, I couldn#t e sure" That*s the .rolem 'ith real securityK they aren#t

!ust there for sho'" They*re a 'ea.on, coc(ed and ready li(e a .istol in shoulder holster, .oised for

action 'hene2er needed"

S.ea(ing of 'hich, there 'as the gun 'ith my .rints on it" The e2er-.o.ular Smith & Wesson,

little altered from its LMthcentury grand.arent+a reliale handgun in a small .ac(age" Surely it could

e traced ac( to %oc(muir and his .osse of security clones"

>r could it0

S'eat ro(e out on my ro' and it 'asn*t !ust the !onesing no'" Would he ha2e een .aranoid

enough to co2er his trac(s in ad2ance0 Because 'asn*t this his doing ultimately0 The men @and maye

one 'oman in lac( 'ere really !ust .art of the trigger" He had concerns enough to monitor her" He

(ne' that she 'as lea2ing e2en if she hadn*t said it outright to him"

Then again, it 'as 5eaches" She doutless .ointed a manicured nail at him and told him 'hat a

shit he had een and ho' she 'as going to get herself a la'yer that could undo that .re-nu."

1urder: so much chea.er than legal re."

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I got u. to .ace around again" I didn*t care if it made me loo( sus.icious" Who 'as going to say

a 'ord aout it0 The tram. continued to sing Wanda tunelessly, the hood continued to glare" The

drun(s had nodded off" We might e monitored ut that 'as the least of my 'orries"

5eaches %oc(muir might e the tac(iest nou2eau rich tro.hy 'ife around ut she 'as also the

most famous" And she*d een shot dead in my .lace 'hile my eyes 'ere closed 'ith a gun no'

con2eniently adorned 'ith my .rints"

"ace it, #raygo,my giering, .aranoid insect shado' argued,you were set up$

I too( a fe' turns aout the cell, trying not to s.eed my ste.s too much, ut the !ittery feeling

tra2elled from my rain to my e)tremities and rought ac( some adrenaline 'ith it" Which hel.ed+

don*t get me 'rong" Any drug in a .inch, I al'ays say" But it 'asn*t conduci2e to 6uiet contem.lation

and reason" %o'n do'n do'n, I hummed along 'ith the old tram." %o'n the memory lane ac( to the

moment 'here it all 'ent .ear-sha.ed"

What 'as it 5eaches had said !ust efore they .lugged her0 Something aout a rait0 I had

assumed it had to do 'ith failing a .regnancy test" 1aye it 'as something more" I mean, does

anyody use that figure of s.eech anymore0 1y Auntie 8era 'ould say that 'ith derision 'hen her

any of her a..rentice mediums disa..eared" The rait died, my son" So she*s ho..ed it"#%id 5eaches lea2e him ecause she 'as .regnant0 >r did she lea2e him and then find she 'as

.regnant0 >r claimed she 'as and 'asn*t0 >r+

I sat do'n 'ith my head in my hands, my thoughts racing in all directions li(e a herd of

frightened raits" Was a unch of raits a herd0 There 'as doutless some .oetic term for it, li(e an

e)altation of lar(s" Why did I (no' that one0 Some random .o. song0 %o'n do'n do'nK I egan to

ha2e murderous thoughts aout the gentleman of leisure 'ho (e.t on singing"

%on*t you (no' any other tune0# I said at last, 'atching my hands tremle 'ith rage, not

trusting myself to loo( at him"

Was I singing0# He chuc(led" I don*t e2en notice 'hen I do it" 1y 'ife left me ecause of

that, thirty years ago" Well, that and the fact that I 'as anging my secretary"# His smile suggested the.eace of the Buddha nonetheless"

I tried to slee., (ne' it 'ould ne2er ha..en and yet suddenly it 'as near da'n" I sa' the first

light of the early s.ring morning filter through the tiny 'indo'" 1y nec( ached li(e a 'ar 'ound and I

.ut a hand u. to massage it as my eyes fluttered, ad!usting"

And there 'as 5eaches"

This is your fault, innit0# She had her fists on her hi. and a snarl" E2erything 'as going fine

and then you got in the 'ay"#

If e2erything 'as fine, 'hy 'ere you getting a di2orce0# I as(ed irritaly"

5art of the .lan, my man, .art of the .lan"# She s6ueeed do'n et'een me and the old man on

the ench" ;etting shot 'asn*t"#

Fou thin( maye you rought it on yourself, eh0# I 'asn*t aout to acce.t lame for that,

es.ecially not from her"

Fou ga2e them o..ortunity7#

But you ga2e them cause"# I crac(ed my nec(" What*s all this rait usiness0 Fou .regnant0#

5eaches snorted" Fou*re on the 'rong trac( there, mister" >ld man couldn*t e2en get it u. most

nights unless he had a floor sho' and he had the hired hel. for that"#

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I lin(ed and tried to create .ictures in my head to match her 'ords ut my foggy grey cells

'eren*t u. to the !o" So 'hat*s all this then0 What*s that on aout0 Why*d they shoot you0 And lame

me0#

It*s the 'hite rait, see I found+# She coc(ed her head" Hang on, I ha2e to ha2e a 'ord 'ith

the .re2ious 1rs" %oc(muir" Which means a it of a dust u. first" ater, tater"#

And then there 'as !ust s.ace and the snoring tram. and me still lin(ing" %&erdue at the fairy

dust factory'>r !ust a dream0 I sniffed" I could s'ear I smelled her signature .erfume, some fash mag

slag rainchild 'ith essence of .eaches and something citrusy ehind it"

>r maye it 'as !ust a dream" I closed my eyes to find surcease of sorro' efore the old man

resumed droning or the drun(s egan retching and ho.ed that the fe2er that filled my rain might e

stilled y (nitting u. the ra2elled slee2e of care if only for a 'ee 'hile" With luc( I 'ould rememer

nothing"""

>ut A.ril 4L from


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Date post:	03-Jun-2018
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White Rabbit [Sample Excerpt] for 18+ readers

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