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Why Does My Child Behave Like That?
Practical Strategies for Parents of Kids on the Asperger/Autism
Spectrum
Our Kids
Flexible Thinking
GeneralizationMain Idea
OrganizationProblem-solving
PerspectiveTaking
UnwrittenSocial Rules
SocialCommunication
Self AwarenessSelf Advocacy
AttentionImpulse Control
Regulation of Emotions and Anxiety
SensoryRegulation
Looking through an Asperger’s/Autism
Lens
© Asperger/Autism Network www.aane.org
Ever feel this way?
Building Positive InteractionsAvoid “Four Cardinal Sins”
Thomas Phelan (2004)
• Nagging
• Lecturing
• Arguing
• Offering unscheduled, spontaneous advice
Building Positive InteractionsWhat to do Instead
• Talk less or keep silent
• Make an appointment to discuss the issue
• Seek to understand their point of view
• Car
• Use humor
• Enjoy each other!
Learning About EmotionsMeltdown Cycle
Teachable
Moment
Rumbling Meltdown Recovery Teachable Moment
Learn early signs of stress
Nothing is worth the explosion!
Brenda Smith Myles
Learning About Emotions
• Pictures in books• Special interests• Cartoons/Comics• TV/Movies• Apps • Video-replay• Charades/Drama• “Talking out loud”• Hi-Low
Self-RegulationThe Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis
Level Person, Place or Thing
Makes me feel like this
5 This could make me lose control!
4 (Find a quiet place)
This can really upset me!
3 This can make me feel nervous
2 (Use calming sequence)
This sometimes bothers me
1 This never bothers me
Self-Regulation Strategies The Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis
Rating Size of Problem Responses
5 Catastrophe
(Fire)
“I have to follow directions and move fast.”
4 Big
(Mom in Hospital)
“Lots of people can help us.”
3 Medium
(Friend can’t play today)
“I can call someone else.”
2 Small
(Lost homework)
“I can talk to the teacher.”
1 Glitch
(Don’t like my lunch)
“Maybe dinner will be better.”
Self-Regulation StrategiesThe Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron & Mitzi Curtis
Rating Type of Word Example What will happen
5 Threatening Swearing at teacher
Get in trouble
Detention
4 Angry “Get out of my face”
Detention and stern lecture
3 Hurtful “I don’t care what you think”
Nobody wants to be with you.
2 Just fine “Could I take a break?”
You might get what you need!
1 Sweet “Thanks for your help.”
People want to be with and help you.
Fostering FlexibilityCleaning Your Room
Not Necessary
Not Allowed
Great OK
Cleaning every day
10 minutes every other day
Dirty laundry in basket
Never cleaning
Fostering FlexibilityI’m frustrated—what will help?
Doesn’t Last
Lasts a long time
Helps a little
Eating Treats Board or Card Games
Library
iPod
Video Games
Reading
Friend
Bike
Walk
Dog
Talking about it
Helps more
Feel much better
© Asperger/Autism Network www.aane.org
Fostering Flexibility: Solving Problems
Option 1 Option 2 Option 3
Difficulty Concern
Fighting
Playing
Helping
Plotting against parents
Perspective TakingWhat Siblings Do
Executive FunctioningVisual Schedules
3:30 Snack and Screen Time
4:30 Piano
5:30 Homework
6:00 Set Table and Dinner
6:30 Free Time
8:00 Get Ready for Bed and Read
Executive FunctioningWaiting Plan
• Brainstorm list
• Visual
• Timer
• Point
Executive FunctioningRoutines
Sarah Ward
What does the future hold?
Recommended Resources
• Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments, Brenda Smith Myles/Jack Southwick.
• The Incredible 5-Point Scale, Kari Dunn Buron/Mitzi Curtis.
• The Hidden Curriculum, Brenda Smith Myles, et.al.
• Navigating the Social World, Jeanette McAfee.• The Explosive Child, Ross Greene.• ADHD: Living Without Brakes, Martin Kutscher.• www.aane.org• www.cognitveconnections.com
• www.brendadater.com• Parenting without Panic Facebook Page• AANE Facebook Page
• Contact AANE (617) 393-3824 or [email protected]