Why not both?

By: Lisa Parker and Erica Waitzmann

vs.

Our Classroom Language

• How sad.• This has got to be so hard.• Oh no.• This stinks.• What a bummer.

Our Classroom Language• I don’t want YOU to be in trouble.• I don’t want to punish you. I just want to help you look at

yourself, so you can change.• When you do something to get yourself in trouble, I will let

you know.• I know this is hard.• It is hard for me when I have to look at myself. • I know this is tough.• It is O.K. that you are having this problem and bringing it to

school.• It is O.K. to have a problem. It is not okay to stay stuck with

it. It is not O.K. for this problem to keep happening all of the time.

Our Classroom Language (cont)

• When we have problems, it is not O.K. to stay stuck in them.

• You do not have to stay stuck with this problem.• You don’t have to keep being in trouble.• If you are willing to let us help you, there is hope that WE

can solve the problem.• Because it is hard to look at ourselves and because it is

very hard to change, it is up to adults to help you.• It is our job to help you with your problems.• You don’t have to change all at once.• You don’t have to do it all alone.• We want you to have success in school.• If you choose to let us help you, you will be able to

change.

Empathy

• Empathy makes the child’s poor decision the “bad guy” while keeping the adult the “good guy”

• The child has a harder time blaming the adult for the problem.

• This forces the student to look inside and learn from the consequence.

• Empathy reduces the child going for revenge or deciding to avoid the adult.

We accomplish this throughG.R.A.C.E.

GivingResponsibility andAccountability to

Children inEducation

Ways to Give Grace

• Give clear expectations

• Set limits• Be a great role model• Maintain high

standards• Believe• Listen• Validate Feelings• Give Support

• Empathize• Encourage• Be consistent• Respect• Provide meaningful

consequences• Give eye contact• Give purpose

Preventative Intervention

• Give the “evil eye”• Walk toward the student while teaching.• Stand close to the student and continue to teach.• Establish eye contact and slightly shake your

head, indicating, “No.”• While teaching, gently place your hand on the

student’s shoulder.• Stop briefly and whisper something like, “Can you

save that for later?”

Preventative Intervention (cont’d)

• Change the student’s location within the classroom.• Whisper something like, “That behavior is fine for

after school.”• Use an I-message (“I find it hard to teach when you

do that. Thanks for stopping.”)• Use an enforceable statement (“I allow students to

stay with the group when they are not causing a problem.”)

• Provide choices (“Are you going to be able to stop that and stay? Or will you need to leave for a while?”)

• Ask the student to leave for a brief “recovery period”.

Preventative Intervention (cont’d)

• Require the student to complete a problem-solving form during recovery, before he/she can return to the group.

• Excuse the student to the office for a short “cooling off” period. No counseling or discussion takes place with the student during this period.

• Give the student an appointment to talk with you about the problem.

• Restrict the student from the area of his/her infraction until a new plan of action is identified and written by the student.

• Restrict the student from the area of his/her infraction until you feel that another try is in order. The student is allowed to be in this area only when they are not causing a problem.

Prevention

Violence begins with eye rolling and gesturing .

Interpret…DON’T explain !

Four Steps to Provide What Kids Need

• Early Intervention-When: stop it when I see it, not when I feel it

• Caring Confrontation-How: let kids know you’re on their side, but in charge

• Protective Plan-What: Restrictive plans and increase support

• Outlast the Acting Out-Continuum of support

Classroom Expectations

• Feel free to do anything that does not cause a problem for anyone else.

• I teach when there are no distractions or other problems.

• I listen to students who raise their hand.• I listen to one person at a time.• Please treat me with the same respect I treat you.• If someone causes a problem, I will do something.• What I do will depend on what happened and

what the person is willing to do to solve the problem.

Classroom Expectations (cont’d)

OR,• I allow students to remain in my classroom

as long as they do not cause a problem for anyone else.

• If they cause a problem, I will ask them to fix it.

• If they can’t or will not fix it, I will do something.

• What I do will depend on the unique situation.

Handling Problems = Going Brain Dead

Step one: Go brain dead!

• Do not think about what the child is saying. If you think about it too much you will be tempted to reason with the student. If you reason with the student, it’s likely the student will trap you with your own words.

Step two: Softly repeat a single Love and Logic one-liner

• Don’t get creative or fancy with these one-liners. Just repeat the same things.

Going Brain Dead: One Liners

• I like (respect) you too much to argue.• I know.• Thanks for sharing.• Probably so.• Nice try.• That’s an option.• I don’t know. What do you think?• I bet it feels that way.

Sample Dialogue

• Student: This is stupid. Why do I have to do this?• Teacher: (With soft sincerity) I respect you too much to

argue.• Student: But why?• Teacher: I respect you too much to argue.• Student: If you respected me, you wouldn’t make me do

this stupid stuff.• Teacher: I respect you too much to argue.• Student: Well, I’m telling my dad. He’s a lawyer.• Teacher: (Walking away) I respect you too much to argue.• Student: Is that all you can say?• Teacher: (Still walking away) Yes, and I respect you too

much to argue.

Problem-Solving: 5-Step Method

1. Laying the Groundwork2. Approaching an Upset Child

3. Identifying Problem Behaviors4. Understanding and Managing Feelings

5. Developing a Plan for Change

Problem-Solving Model• Adults intervene when a child’s behavior interferes

with learning, threatens another person through disrespectful attitudes and actions, or is destructive to himself or others.

• A child who misbehaves faces the natural and logical consequences of his behavior.

• Adults help the troubled child face his problems, understand his strong feelings, and take responsibility for his behavior.

• Adults problem solve with the child to determine appropriate ways to behave when experiencing strong feelings.

• Adults support the child as he works through the difficult process of confronting, owning, taking responsibility for and changing behaviors.

Primary Goals of Recovery• Goal #1: The teacher

can teach.• Goal # 2: Other

students can learn.

Recovery is NOT intended to:

• Punish or embarrass the student.

• Solve all of the student’s problems.

• Serve as an excuse for not trying to help the student.

Recovery room at school

Home

An alcove outside the principal’s

officeA seat in another

classroom

A different seat in the same classroom

Move backwards

and forwards

Not necessaril

y sequential

Send a note with

another student

explaining the

situation.

For Recovery schools should...

• Notify parents so they can participate as much as possible in evaluation and intervention planning.

• Have input from many sources (child’s parents, teachers, counselor, and other professionals) to develop, follow, and monitor an intervention plan that meets the child’s unique needs.

• Carefully document all communications with parents, meetings, positive interventions, progress towards goals, behavioral outburst, etc.

Placement Options

SafeSeat

Principal’sOffice

Classroom Seat

Buddy Room

RecoveryRoom

Classroom Seat

Safe Seat

Buddy

Room

Recovery Room

Principal’s Office

Rethink

• Directed, quick time-outs to help students refocus and get back on track…

• Put their head down on their desk• Hide their eyes• Stop, think, and visualize what it needs to look

like when they put their head up• Thumbs up signal to let the teacher know they

are ready to participate appropriately• Wait to be called upon to demonstrate

appropriate behavior

Safe Seat and Think Sheets

Safe Seat• Desk set off to the side

or back of the room• Think Sheets, pencil, and

poster• More structured support• No talking or

participation• Process before returning

to their regular desk• Think of extra Safe Seats• It is OK for the students

to ask to go to the Safe Seat

Think Sheets• Tool to determine if

students are ready to look at their behavior

• Write or draw a picture (based on ability)

• Written documentation• Facilitates processing and

helps to develop a plan on how to extinguish the behavior

• Processing must accompany the completion of a Think Sheet

Buddy Rooms

Sending Teacher• Buddy Room should be

in a close proximity and either 1 grade above or below

• Send a pass with the student

• May send a follow-up messenger with work

• Responsible for processing with the student before the student re-enters the classroom

Receiving Teacher• Use Safe Seat and extra

Think Sheets• Make sure the student

knows where to sit• The student should NOT

be disruptive• Check on student• May process if time allows• Student follows the Buddy

Classroom’s Schedule• Can send the student back

if the student is OK and ready to process

The Best of Both Worlds

Using both methods will help you to create a happy and safe

classroom environment!

For more information, please visit:

Love and Logichttp://www.loveandlogic.com/

BISThttp://www.bist.org/index.html