Without Humility Marriage Won't Work

Monday, May 1, 2023 1

WITHOUT HUMILITY, MARRIAGE WON’T WORK

"Marriage is all about compromise.”If marriage is going to work properly, there

have to be some degree of humility.

Kigume Karuri

Monday, May 1, 2023 Kigume Karuri 2

• Pride is a difficult problem to overcome. The key to overcoming pride is humility. This may seem oversimplified, but it is true. You can defeat pride in your marriage by practicing humility.

• Proverbs 22:4• ‘By humility and the fear of the LORD Are riches

and honor and life’. (NKJV)


• Pride yearns for fame but brings humiliation.

• Proverbs 11:2• ‘When pride comes, then comes shame;

But with the humble is wisdom’. (NKJV)


• Humility is that thing that allows me to ask forgiveness.

• It allows me to not be filled with my own self and pride.

• It allows me to admit wrong and try better next time.

• Without this, arguments will continue relentlessly, resentment will be harbored, sleepless nights will ensue and a less than peaceful marriage will be mine.


• James 4:10• ‘Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord,

and He will lift you up’.(NKJV)• If the Bible encourages us to humble ourselves

in the sight of the Lord, we need also to humble ourselves in the sight of our spouses who we are with all the times.

• Humility is key to sustaining our marriage. People are naturally resentful in nature and if not checked this can be brought up in marriage.


• Humility is having an accurate view of ourselves - including our strengths, weaknesses & limitations.

• There is nothing better than humility; it is the basis of all virtues and everything that is kind and good naturally grows from it. We need more of it in our marriages.

• Humility involves a healthy self-forgetfulness.


• Humility is to make a right estimate of one's self. It is no humility for a man to think less of himself than he ought.

• Let every day, therefore, be a day of humility in your marriage.

• It does not make you less a Man or Woman if you possess humility.

• It makes you appreciate your spouse’s weaknesses, limitations and strengths.


IMPORTANCE OF HUMILITY IN MARRIAGE

• 1. Opinions can be a source of strength but also a source of division. Marriage is all about blending lives, and that requires letting go of rigid opinions. While it is healthy to know your point of view, becoming welded to it will always be divisive. Encourage listening to each other and learning from the other's points of view.


• 2. We all have a desire to have our point of view considered and valued.

. Not only do we have a desire to have our point of view heard and considered, but this is actually a source of self-esteem. Being listened to is a primary source of self-esteem. . Respecting our spouse's thoughts is a way to honour and respect them. To diminish their point of view is not only hurtful, but hampers esteem.


• Sticking yourself to your position is a sure way to take yourself very seriously, dismissing your spouse's position. Unless your spouse is asking you to go against God's laws and morality, consider your spouse's opinions equally with yours.

3. You must decide if you want to be right, or if you want a relationship.


• When we become too attached to our point of view, we become intolerant of others' positions.

• Power struggles ensue, creating distance and ultimately leading to serious trouble.

• No one wins a power struggle; everyone loses and bitterness sets in.

4. Taking a rigid position creates polarity.


• No one wants to have their point of view ridiculed or dismissed. While you may feel strongly about something, you must allow others to feel differently.

• Tolerance for differences is critical.

5. Believing you are right leads to attempting to coerce your spouse into agreeing with you, creating division.


• Discover the joy of not taking yourself so seriously, being teachable and deferring to your mate.

• Learn the art of questioning yourself, being open to others' opinions and valuing relationship over being "right."

• Your spouse will appreciate you and your marriage will thrive.

6. Consider the path of humility.


• Because we love ourselves so very much, it's a struggle to consider others more important than ourselves.

• Philippians 2:3• ‘Let nothing be done through selfish ambition

or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself’. (NKJV)


• In my counseling sessions, I have counseled and spoken with many women in troubled marriages. And I can tell you that no matter how varied the circumstances were, no matter who was most at fault, no matter how utterly hopeless the situation seemed, these women always responded in one of two ways: in pride or in humility.


• They all showed emotion, cried, endured pain, and struggled deeply. But some of these women made a choice to respond in pride, and some battled their wills and responded in humility.


• A prideful spouse is defensive, angry, blame-shifting, and focused on self.

• He/she consistently sees that the problem does not lies with him/her, but with everyone else.

• A humble spouse is broken over his/her own sin, more concerned with honoring God than arguing about what he/she deserves.


HUMILITY IN MARRIAGE

• 1. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR WEAKNESSES AND STRENGTHS

• True humility is having an accurate perception of your weaknesses and your strengths, and keeping both in perspective.

2. PUTTING EACH OTHER FIRST Put everything else aside. Put your spouse first.


• 3. ACCEPT ADVICE FROM EACH OTHER • Husbands have a hard time asking for help

because they think it indicates personal weakness ; namely ignorance. They don’t want to look stupid. Unfortunately, not asking advice from others signals another personal weakness; namely pride.


• 4. ADMIT WHEN YOU’RE WRONG • Humble spouses know when they’ve hurt

their spouse, and admit it. They take responsibility for their actions, especially in conflict situations.


• 5. OFFER AND ACCEPT FORGIVENESS • When there’s hurt in a marriage two things

should happen. The offender needs to admit it and apologize, and the person offended needs to offer forgiveness. When we don’t offer forgiveness, the hurt turns to anger, resentment, and possibly rage.


• 6. DO NOT CRITICIZE• Few of us like a know-it-all, and fewer like a

know-it-all who’s right. But none of us wish for similar arrogance in our spouse.

• Respond graciously when you are right and your spouse is wrong


• Marriage cannot be sustained without humility. We are not perfect at all and we come into marriage with inefficiencies, weaknesses and limitations. We need to allow humility to be an important foundation in our marriage as it will help us bear with one another.

Date post:	13-Jan-2017
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Without Humility Marriage Won't Work

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