Women In Brunel Engineering and Computing Mentoring ...€¦ · Twelve Habits of the Toxic Mentor ....

Women In Brunel Engineering and Computing

Mentoring Programme 2018-19Mentor Training & Induction

Brunel University London

Who are we?

Giselle Hayward

Women in EngineeringMentoring Manager

Jeremy Webster

Mentoring Consultant & MSc lecturer in Management

WiBEC Mentoring Programme 2018 - Mentor Training and Induction 2


Who are you?

• Introduce yourself to your colleagues at your table

• Why did you volunteer to be a WiBEC mentor?

Identify the top 3 reasons on your table

Time – 15 minutes



Our aim today is…

• To explain the WiBEC Mentoring Programme

• To introduce you to us, to each other, and to your mentees

• To give you training and information so you know what is expected of you

• To answer any questions you may have, so you feel prepared and confident to start your mentoring role



Today’s timetable

1230 – 1300 Optional CMI qualifications in Coaching & Mentoring

1300 – 1330 Lunch

1330 – 1615 Mentor training (break at 1445)

1630 – 1700 Meet your mentee

1700 – 1845 Launch of programme & STEM competition

1845 – 2000 Next steps - Mentoring contract - Q&A Refreshments and further mentoring discussions

2000 Close



The WiBEC mentoring programme

Matching industry professionals with students to increase their knowledge of their desired sector

https://youtu.be/PnZCIokWRuw

Benefits to students

• Support in developing the necessary skills to manage their career aspirations

• Build their self-esteem and confidence

• Assist students in setting and working towards achievable goals

• Provide an industry perspective to enhance their academic learning

Benefits to mentors

• Networking with other mentors, the university and its students

• Personal development / CPD / qualification

• Gain transferrable skills & experience


https://youtu.be/PnZCIokWRuw


Programme formatNov 2018 – Jun 2019

• Introduction to mentee (today)

• Handbook & documentation

• First formal meeting with your mentee by end of November 2018

• Monthly meetings until June 2019 (September for MSc)

• Meetings can be face-to-face, Skype (or other video), phone…

• …but at least two face-to-face meetings, please!

• Mutually convenient locations

• Feedback and progress reviews 28 January and 23 May



Any questions so far?



Three roles of a mentor

9WiBEC Mentoring Programme 2018 - Mentor Training and Induction

Stretch, push-back, test

assumptions, explore motives

Inspire, role model, career aspirations, story-telling

Empathise, safe haven, build confidence,

listen, validate


How do you decide which behaviour to adopt?

10WiBEC Mentoring Programme 2018 - Mentor Training and Induction

When is this behaviour appropriate?When is is inappropriate?

Discuss at your tables…


Q & A

What could go wrong?

> Lack of progress

> No clear goals and stepping stones to achieve them

> Mentee lack of self confidence

> Lack of time – both sides

> Poor communication

> Poor match



Behaviour to avoid…

1. Start from the point-of-view that you –from your vast experience and broader perspective – know better than the mentee what’s in her interest.

2. Be determined to share your wisdom, whether she wants it or not; remind her frequently how much she still has to learn.

3. Decide what you and the mentee will talk about and when. Change dates and themes regularly to prevent complacency sneaking in.

4. Do most of the talking; check frequently that she is paying attention.

5. Make sure she understands how trivial her concerns are, compared to the weighty issues that you have to deal with.

6. Remind the mentee how fortunate she is to have your undivided attention.

7. Neither show nor admit any personal weakness; expect to be the mentee’s role model in all aspects of career development and personal values.

8. Never ask her what she should expect of you – how would she know anyway?

9. Demonstrate how important and well-connected you are by sharing confidential information that she doesn’t need (or want) to know.

10. Discourage any signs of levity or humour – this is a serious business and should be treated as such.

11. Take her to task when she doesn’t follow your advice.

12. Never, never admit that this could be a learning experience for you too.


Twelve Habits of the Toxic Mentor

www.davidclutterbuck.com


Being a toxic mentor

• Have you ever exhibited, witnessed or experienced any of the toxic mentor behaviours?

• What impact did this have on you?

• What impact did it have on the other person?

• Discuss how you will avoid thison the WiBEC programme

Time – 20 minutes



4 P’s of Mentoring


Be PreparedPlan aheadHow do you want to use each session?What would you like to discuss?

Be PositiveBe creativeHave funLearn

Be PresentPsychologically brief yourself beforehandAvoid distractions and cancelling meetingsInform your mentee of any schedule changes well in advance

Be ProductiveDo things as well as talk about themWork at an appropriate paceGet results


Coffee break



Mentoring skills & tools


Questioning

Active listening

Communicating & storytelling

Summarising& feedback

Cultural sensitivity

Goal settingInspiring

Building rapport

Learning styles

Relationshipmanagement


Building rapport

• Rapport is needed before conversation can flow

• Too little rapport and the discussion can be cold and transactional – this results in no/low emotional engagement

• Too much rapport and the topic may become a second priority

• Judging the right temperature takes practice



Self-assessment


Questioning

Active listening

Communicating & storytelling

Summarising& feedback

Cultural sensitivity

Goal settingInspiring

Building rapport

Learning styles

Relationshipmanagement


Questioning

• Open questions “What are you hoping to achieve?”

• Closed questions “When is the deadline?”

• Leading questions “Shouldn’t you deal with this first?”

• Probing questions “Exactly what do you need to do?”

• Hypothetical questions “If you were doing this again…?”

• Reflective questions “How do you feel now about…?”

• Comparison questions “How is this job different from the other?”



Questioning – the Greek urn

1. Start with a semi-closed question, inorder to get the conversation started in the right direction

2. Broaden the discussion with openand probing questions

3. Use silence to let the mentee talk

4. Guide the mentee towards a conclusionusing hypothetical questions

5. Confirm decisions and next stepsby using closed questions

6. Close the meeting by restating the next steps (no more questions…)



Active Listening

Principles of active listeningL ook interestedI nquire with questionsS tay on targetT est your understandingE valuate the messageN eutralise your feelings

Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply



ExerciseRapport, questioning, listening

In groups of three: One observer, two others A and B

Person A will be mentoring a student in the WiBEC programme over the coming six months. In one hour’s time, Person A will be meeting the student for the first time.

Person B is going to mentor Person A to help prepare for the meeting.

The observer observes – look for rapport-building, questioning and listening. Be prepared to provide honest non-judgemental feedback.

Time – 10 minutes discussion, then 5 minutes feedback from the observer. Then change round and repeat (if time permits).



Feedback

Feedback should be clear, owned, regular, balanced and specific

• Consider both motivational and developmental points

• Remember to balance support and challenge

• Focus on behaviour not personality (DO vs BE)

• Be clear it’s your personal feedback

• Invite and accept feedback from your mentee

• BE SINCERE

• NO BUTS



Building Trust(Courtesy of Ford Motor Company)

How do you build trust?

• Give your mentee voice and focus on their needs

• Ensure the mentee shares without fear of getting lecturedor judged

• Let the mentee have control over what you talk about and how you talk about it

• Be sensitive to their cues

• Your mentee is likely to be looking for an outlet for their thoughts, experiences and feelings

• Respect the trust your mentee places in you

• Respond to them in ways that show you see their side of things, giving advice sparingly

• When trust established, prove to each other that you are dependable, the relationship can blossom



First Meeting

Desired outcome > Established good rapport, willing to work together, scheduled next meeting and agreed how to

go about arranging and holding meeting

> Build trust in both directions

> Getting to know you

> Responsibilities

> Template on page 12 of Mentor Handbook

> Code of conduct on page 16

> Both sign Mentoring Contract (page 21) by the end of this evening

> Agree the date/time and format for your nextmeeting and record in the handbook (page 26)



Resources

Mentoring Toolkit pp21-28

•Code of Conduct p16

•Structure of a typical meeting p16, p23•Action plan pp24-25•Session Log p26•Learning Log p28

•Final session evaluation p27 to me please

LinkedIn group: discussion and interact with other mentors and

mentees

What’s App Group

Professional Development Centre •CV support / Interview techniques•Raj Sidhu and Alison King•Blackboard Learn•ASK - Academic Skills Service /•Student Centre•International students•Graduate School•Dedicated Mature Student Support

My supportFull time

Coffee and update Buddy Mentors only - Social 12 March



Preparation…

Soon you will meet your mentee for the first time.

Are you fully prepared for this meeting?

Turn to page 12 of your handbook

Make notes and discuss with a partner at your table.

Time – 15 minutes



Thank you for taking part

Giselle Hayward

Jeremy Webster

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

Twitter @BrunelWiBEC

Linked In closed group


mailto:[email protected]




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