Module 9: Lesson 3

A Resource Handout for How to Draw and Share

Your Feedback LoopsWorksheet

FST Digital Advanced Training Course12 FST Techniques to Become a Family Trauma Expert

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Lesson 3A Resource Handout for How to Draw

and Share Your Feedback LoopsThis is a simple supplemental worksheet for you to use to practice your “before” and “after” feedback loops.

I will ask you to Re-Watch the case study at the end of Lesson #1 when I constructed the “before” feedback loop for Pate’s family and the “after” feedback loop in Lesson #3.

You are also encouraged to re-watch Dr. John Wells and how he created his “before” and “after” feedback in Lesson #3.

Please use my sample process and templates to jump-start your first feedback loop drawing. Everything you need “soup to nuts” is in your Lesson #2 worksheet, but this worksheet is a bonus to help you.

I will also outline in your fifth action step the three reasons how feedback loop drawings can be adapted and other creative ways to provide this same information.

In this worksheet you will:

• Re-watch strategic parts of video lessons #1 and #3 to practice, practice, practice drawing “before” and “after” feedback loops.

• Learn the three reasons why feedback drawing can be adapted and other creative means to provide the same information.

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Five Action Steps#1 – �Rewatch�These�“Before”�and�“After”�Feedback�Loop�

Lesson Segments ✔ Pate’s “Before” Feedback Loop Video Lesson (Module 9, Lesson 1) (18:11–30:15)

✔ “Before” Feedback Loop YouTube Video

#2 – �Re-examine�the�key�“Before”�Feedback�Loop�Mini�Steps for Pate

2a- Closely Examine My Summary Table of Pate’s Undercurrent Picks that I Used to Create My “Before” Feedback Loop

2b- I Used the Template to Rough Out My First “Before” Feedback Loops to Converted the Unhealthy Undercurrents and Toxic Seed (Unhealed Wounds) Into Visual “Before” Feedback Loops

✔ My Template is literally like a storyboard at Disney Studios to sketch out all the players and how the scene will look before filming.

✔ I then converted my storyboard to “before” feedback loop drawing on a piece of paper or on Powerpoint to take to my session or meeting to recreate for my client or family one dance move or loop at a time.

FST Therapist’s Undercurrent Picks Causing Pate’s Symptoms of Self-Harm

Pate’s Problem Symptom(s) in Question–

SELF-HARM

Top 2 or 3 Unhealthy Undercurrents Directly

Causing These Symptoms

Healthy Undercurrents Counterparts

SELF-HARM ☐ Abandonment (Unhealed Wounds)

☐ Unforgiveness, Bitterness, and Adults Not on the Same Page (Unhealed Wounds)

Before Feedback Loops

✓ Security

✓ Forgiveness and Adults on the Same Page or Unity

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2c- I Then Converted My Rough Storyboard Template Into a Completed “Before” Feedback Loop. In This Case, Using a PowerPoint Format

template used to rough out or pre-draw my first “before” feedback loops

Before: What is Happening Now that is Causing PATES’ SELF-HARM (list symptom or stressor) And the Toxic Seed of UNHEALED WOUNDS to keep Growing and Remain Unchanged

UNHEALED WOUND

Aunt & Uncle, Grandparents, Mom, DadDARKNESS VS. LIGHT

PATE (Child)Parent, Carer, Pastor, Grandparent, Sibling, etc

Draw out the Unhealthy Undercurrents AND ANY COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES (YOU selected IN STEP 1)- DRAW ARROWS THAT MATCH the unhealthy undercurrent dance between family members.

Unhealthy Undercurrents that I Want to Show and Highlight:☐ Abandonment

☐ Unforgiveness, Bitterness, and Adults Not on the Same Page

COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES

• “I am all alone”– Pate

• “Just want to cut myself to release the pain”– Pate

• “We don’t know what to do”– Village

• “I can just patiently wait”– Darkness

• “Not so fast”– Light

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Dr. John Wells replicated the same steps. Only he decided to use a flip chart, not PowerPoint.

Now It’s Your TurnGive it a try – Use Worksheet #2 and fill in the rough sketches below for your first “before” feedback loops.

FST Therapist’s Undercurrent Picks Causing Client’s Symptoms

Child’s Problem Symptom(s) in Question

Top 2 or 3 Unhealthy Undercurrents Directly

Causing These Symptoms

Healthy Undercurrents Counterparts

☐ ☐ ☐

✓ ✓ ✓

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Use the template to rough out or pre-draw your first “before” feedback loops.

And then convert your rough storyboard sketch into a completed “before” feedback loop. Flip chart or PowerPoint.

It’s that straightforward and easy! You Can Do It!

Before: What is Happening Now that is Causing __________ (list symptom or stressor) And the Toxic Seed of __________ to keep Growing and Remain Unchanged

TOXIC SEED

(Child)Parent, Carer, Pastor, Grandparent, Sibling, etc

Draw out the Unhealthy Undercurrents AND ANY COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES (YOU selected IN STEP 1)- DRAW ARROWS THAT MATCH the unhealthy undercurrent dance between family members.

Unhealthy Undercurrents that I Want to Show and Highlight:☐ ☐ ☐

COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES• • • •

Insert Your Final “Before” Feedback Loop Drawing Here

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#3 – �Rewatch�These�“After”�Feedback�Loop�Lesson�Segments

✔ Pate’s “After” Feedback Loop Video Lesson (Module 9, Lesson 3) (11:07 –28:12)

✔ “After” Feedback Loop YouTube Video

#4 – �Re-examine�the�key�“After”�Feedback�Loop�Mini�Steps for Pate

4a- Closely Examine My Summary Table of Pate’s Undercurrent Picks that I Used to Create My “After” Feedback Loop

4b- Here is My Typed Up Sample Playbook to Show the Family

FST Therapist’s Undercurrent Picks Causing Pate’s Symptoms of Self-Harm

Pate’s Problem Symptom(s) in Question

Healthy Undercurrents Counterparts

Techniques to Injcet Healthy Undercurrent

Self-Harm (Cutting) ✓ Security

✓ Forgiveness and Adults on the Same Page or Unity

After Feedback Loops

☑ Body Checks

And this sample playbook incorporates Pate’s Love Language of “Physical Touch” and “Words of Affirmation”

After Feedback Loops

Body Checks

Pate’s Rx Prescription for the “After” Feedback Loop

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Stopping Self-Harm: No One Left Behind Body Checks with Love and Compassion

Pate, this is all about safety first. Even after you come home and there is no self-harm, it gives your family and each of us the opportunity to show you unconditional love. And it shows you that we can be consistent and work together no matter what home you are at. We are better together. And if we do our job well, you will feel more secure, safe, and loved. When this happens, we are working as a team to help prevent any self-harm in the future. You are not alone in this. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future.

Who:• Pate• First Priority – a male checking another male for self-harm marks• Second Priority and only if first priority cannot be met – a female with clear directions

What Cooperation and Working Together Look Like – We would all do role plays and practice together. We help one another get the delivery down to a science—no one left behind. And when we all feel good about the role plays, we will call Pate in, and we will practice together. We do not go forward until we are all ready after the role plays.

What:• Body checks in the evening before bed with love and compassion or morning (see how

below) (Is Pate more of a morning or evening person? – best mood likely)

When:• Evening before bed or morning – TBD

Where:• In Pate’s bedroom or another part of the house – TBD

How:• TBD, but possible examples to use below• Matt, for example, will come into the room and do a body check – Arms first and then legs

• If cuts are found, just hug Pate deeply and say simply, “I love you, we love you, and you are not alone – You can do it.” Or just pat on shoulder at first if cannot handle hug yet. You will all read this book and practice through role-plays how to start a conversation.

If Pate wants to tell you about what caused the cuts, again do not censure, but use self-reflective listening (see the book). If he doesn’t want to talk, do not ask any questions, simply leave after the hug.

• If no cuts are found, hug Pate deeply and say, “I love you and so proud of you for resisting the temptation, I know it was not easy.” Use tools in the book to help the conversation along.

What Cooperation and Working Together Look Like – Call grandparents and parents or aunt or uncle (whose home not visiting) and tell Pate did not self-harm. Put on speakerphone and say something like, “Proud of you, Pate great job.”

Pate’s Sample Safety Plan to Prevent Self-Harm

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4c- I Used the Template to Rough Out My First “After” Feedback Loops to Convert the Healthy Undercurrents and Sample Playbook Into Visual “After” Feedback LoopsHere is the template I used to rough out or pre-draw my first “after” feedback loops.

After: What Can Happen In The Future When the Trauma Playbook is used to shrink the Toxic Seed of UNHEALED WOUNDS and inject the healthy undercurrents of SECURITY, UNITY, FORGIVENESS

Draw out the Healthy Undercurrents AND ANY COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES- DRAW ARROWS THAT MATCH the unhealthy undercurrent dance between family members.

Healthy Undercurrents that I Want to Show and Highlight:☐ Security

☐ Unity

☐ Forgiveness

☑ My Rx Prescription is BODY CHECKS or UNITY, FORGIVENESS, AND A PLAN and it is typed out as a sample playbook

☑ The sample playbook also includes Pate’s Love Language of “Words of Affirmation” and “Physical Touch.”

COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES

• “I am not alone”– Pate

• “We have a plan to unify around now”– Village

• “This is not good”- Darkness

• “I don’t need to cut anymore”- Pate

• “With unity and forgiveness, I can defeat darkness”– Light

UNHEALED WOUND (Shrinking)

Aunt & Uncle, Grandparents, Mom, Dad LIGHT

Darkness

Parent, Carer, Pastor, Grandparent, Sibling, etc

Pate

Body Checks

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4d- I Then Converted My Rough Storyboard Sketch Into a Completed “After” Feedback Loop. Using a Powerpoint FormatThe “After” Feedback Loop on Powerpoint One Click At a Time.

Now It’s Your TurnGive it a try – Use Worksheet #2 and fill in your rough sketches below for your first “after” feedback loops.

FST Therapist’s Undercurrent Picks Causing Client’s Symptoms

Child’s Problem Symptom(s) in Question

Healthy Undercurrents Counterparts

Techniques to Injcet Healthy Undercurrent

Self-Harm (Cutting) ✓ ✓

After Feedback Loops

☑ And this sample playbook incorporates Love Language of

After Feedback Loops

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Use this template to rough out or pre-draw your first “After” feedback loops

After: What Can Happen In The Future When the Trauma Playbook is used to shrink the Toxic Seed of __________ and inject the healthy undercurrents of ____________________

Draw out the Healthy Undercurrents AND ANY COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES- DRAW ARROWS THAT MATCH the unhealthy undercurrent dance between family members.

Healthy Undercurrents that I Want to Show and Highlight:☐

☐

☐

☑ My Rx Prescription is ________________________ and it is typed out as a sample playbook

☑ The sample playbook also includes Pate’s Love Language of ________________________

COGNITIVE THOUGHT BUBBLES• • • •

SEED (Shrinking)

CHILD

Parent, Carer, Pastor, Grandparent, Sibling, etc

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And then convert your rough storyboard sketch into a completed “before” feedback loop. Flip chart or PowerPoint.

It’s that straightforward and easy! You Can Do It!

#5 – �Three�Circumstances Feedback Loop Drawing Will Not Work and What to Do Next

Three special circumstances may require that you, the FST therapist, may deviate from the visual illustration of the feedback loops and use other creative means. Here are the three most common reasons and suggestions on what to do. These can also be found in Chapter 6 (pgs. 169-170) why and what to do if it happens:

1. Body language indicates confusion:

If multiple family members show by their body language that they do not understand the process, the FST therapist will need to stop immediately to clarify or use another family member who does understand the process to explain it to the members who do not.

If this still does not work, the FST therapist needs to quickly shift to the experiential sculpting strategy illustrated in Reason #3.

2. Family is agitated or actively in crisis:

Before the session begins, the FST therapist senses or knows that a current crisis took place the day before or even hours before the session. In a state of

Insert Your Final “After” Feedback Loop Drawing Here

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agitation, the family is likely in no mood to sit through a feedback loop drawing presentation, no matter how engaging. For example, if an hour before the session, the teenager took a door off its hinges and hit the mother with it.

This family was in crisis mode when the session started. The mother wanted to deal with the immediate fallout of the aggression, not feedback loops. However, the FST therapist missed these cues and continued with the feedback loop process even though the family’s body language screamed to stop. In this example, the therapist needed to stop, regroup, put the drawings away for another day, and deal directly with the crisis at hand.

3. A particular family responds better with experiential activities:

Different families respond better to different modalities. In the case of the feedback loops, the family may respond better to the therapist transforming the feedback loops into a kind of sculpting or role-play type activity. In this case, the FST therapist hangs the feedback loop drawings on the wall and gets different family members out of their chairs to act out the loop dances. The therapist may play the part of the child, or the child can play himself while other family members play themselves.

You can even ask a family member to play the part of the happy seed in the before feedback loop and the unhappy seed in the after feedback loop. Then speak aloud the thought bubbles (e.g., “I am so happy this family is stuck and feeding me a healthy diet of unforgiveness and bitterness every day. Yum yum!” versus “Oh, nooooo, they are getting smarter. This dad is not holding grudges anymore. No, please stop, I am starving”).

One can even have a family member represent a playbook and, like a superhero, yell, “I will help save the day” as he or she swoops in and playfully attacks the unhealthy undercurrents (young kids love this role). The FST therapist moves to the role of director, sets the scene, and yells, “Action!” or “Stop!”

If the therapist is playful with high energy, the family will mirror this energy and start to get into the sculpting role-play. The experiential sculpting should be a standby go-to for all FST therapists anytime the body language or energy level needs an extra playful boost or a shot in the arm to make the feedback loops jump off the page.

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Next Steps• You are now ready to proceed to Phase III: To Co-Create Your Trauma Playbook

and then onto Troubleshooting and Dress Rehearsals in Phase IV.

• As stated earlier, when you take the time to pre-draw and pre-type out your sample trauma playbook, it is the turnkey or bridge for the entire FST Treatment to achieve maximum impact.

• Do not be hard on yourself. If it doesn’t go perfect, just do it! Like the Nike commercial.

Success MilestonesAfter you complete Lesson #3 worksheet, look for these success milestones in your practice:

✔ Practice Makes Confidence – If you use this worksheet and Lesson #2 with just two cases as an experiment, you will see instant results and increased confidence! And from this success, your confidence in the model with skyrocket and yourself. Everyone is different. It might take you longer or shorter than two experimental cases to use feedback loops and playbooks with. But when you get it, both you and your families will do “the happy dance.”

Let’s Celebrate Together!After you complete two cases, will you please post it on your Facebook Community Group and how you felt. We can then all celebrate with you!

Big Ideas: Lesson 3 VideoSeeing�“Before”�Feedback�Loops�in�Action

✔ Dr. Wells applied his pre-drawn “before” feedback loops with Austin and his mother.

✔ Dr. Wells comments on how the “before” feedback had a significant shift in unsticking the family and how they made the feedback loop their narrative. The before feedback loop was a catalyst to three significant shifts in the family.

Seeing�“After”�Feedback�Loops�in�Action ✔ We saw how Dr. Wells does an excellent job of using the “after” feedback loop as

an on-ramp or springboard for change and a set up for Phase III in the FST Model when the playbook is finalized.

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The�“After”�Feedback�Loops�with�Pate’s�Family ✔ You saw a tale of two cites or contrasts. In Austin’s family, the “after” feedback

loop went as smooth as silk to begin 2nd order change transformation.

✔ But in contrast, the “after” feedback loop is anything but smooth with Pate’s family. Instead, it unleashed a firestorm.

✔ At first glance, you may think this is too much and that I should back down and stop being so dramatic and pushy with mom. But remember the context. I may never have a second chance to say the hard truths that must be told.

✔ This family system has a long trail of treatment failures and countless defeated counselors along the way,

✔ And until this session, the extended family had unbelievably never been asked by any professional to come together in one room. This was the first time.

✔ Also, this family system is stuck deep in concrete. And if things continue, it is not if but when Pate will relapse again when he returns home from inpatient. Lengths of stay will not make any difference unless this family comes together, and Mom stops using.

✔ The proposed sample playbooks of unity and drug testing are like kicking the tires to see how ready or unready the system is for realignment and change.

✔ Therefore, the feedback loops can be either transformative like with Austin or diagnostic like with Pate’s family.

✔ I am in the role of systems irritant and consultant to challenge the status quo. I will not open up Pandora’s Box and walk away but will stay with the family’s therapist and this family to meet again after the dust has settled.

Please Note: Materials that are included in this course may include interventions and modalities that are beyond your authorized practice as a mental health professional, case manager or parent support liaison. As a professional, you are responsible for reviewing your scope of practice, including activities that are defined in law as beyond the boundaries of practice in accordance with and in compliance with your professions standards.