Welcome to the second last issue of the WorkZine. This issue is dedicated to the Global Entrepreneurship Week which is meant to inspire youth across the world

to get involved in creating jobs for everyone else. In Uganda , it is hosted by Entreprise Uganda which has partnered with multiple organizations like WorkZine to reach the masses. Enjoy

Businge Abid Weere

THE TEAM

MANAGING EDITORBusingeAbidWeere(+256791032469)

EDITORS AT LARGEStella NantongoBrian B Coutinho

MARKETING MANAGERJason(+256712815895)

LEGAL EDITORBarefoot Law

ECONOMIC EDITORRafayiliKayigwa

LAYOUT & DESIGNI.Dea media (DESIGN PRINT ART & WEB)Nsobya Sulaiman (+256772667466)

POETRY EDITORTalkative rocker

Editor’s Word

Global Entrepreneurship Week (GEW) is an international initiative that introduces entrepreneurship to young people in six continents. GEW emerged in 2008 as a result of Enterprise Week UK and Entrepreneurship Week USA 2007.

Since its creation, more than 10 million people from 102 countries have participated in entrepreneurial-related activities during the Week.This annual event occurs over the span of one week and includes the participation of entrepreneurial experts, policy-makers, education practitioners and politicians. Last year 88 countries hosted Global Entrepreneurship Week and generated over 32,000 activities.The GEW aims to expose people to the benefits of entrepreneurship through different activities and to motivate them to explore their own entrepreneurial ideasGlobal Entrepreneurship Week will inspire millions of young people across the globe to unleash their entrepreneurial ideas - to make a profit and to address society’s biggest issues. GEW Uganda is hosted by Enterprise Uganda which has in the last few years partnered with over 100 organisations for the week long activities which culminate in a trade fair and keynote talks for the public. This year’s exhibition and public conference will be held on 21st November Imperial Royale Hotel. Our message is clear: help young people in this country to join a growing global movement of entrepreneurially minded people. Be part of the world’s biggest celebration of the entrepreneurial spirit. Global Entrepreneurship Week Uganda follows the experience of events such as Enterprise Week in the UK, where last year 584,000 people attended 5,270 events. Brazil, Russia, India and China as well as the UK, US and France are among the countries involved

Previous activities in GEW Uganda1. GEW National Conference : SME Forum: Women Forum; Youth Forum2. Live hosting and broadcasting of Entrepreneurship Festivals by Radio Buddu3. Junior Achievement Exhibition4. WorkZine business forum for white collar workers 5. ILO /AISEC entrepreneurship session6. Entrepreneurship Bonanza hosted by Prime Time at Makerere University7. ILO/EUg Entrepreneurship awareness sessions8. Mara Foundation Mentoring Launch Pad 9. Mara Foundation Investors Bar10. One day SME fora in Soroti, Lira, Gulu and Arua11. Newspaper Supplements 12. Awareness talk at Uganda Christian University, Mukono 13. National Essay Writing competition for primary, secondary and university 14. Posters for Essay competition printed and distributed in all universities, some schools around Kampala, Hoima, Fort Portal, Kasese, Mbarara, Masaka and Mukono.15. Talks on entrepreneurship in various schools including Gayaza High School, Hillside High School, Hapitots, etc16. Entrepreneurship talk by Educate in different schools17. Airing of a TV documentary on enterprises started by young Graduate Entrepreneurs on one national TV station.18. Business Linkages Breakfast for SMEs 19. Social entrepreneurship and Tree planting awareness by Tree Adoption –Uganda20. "start now " sms distribution21. Financial services by ACCA22. Face to Face with your banker 23. Mountains of the Moon University student 30,000 UGX business Idea challenge

Inspiration with Global Entrepreneurship Week

Coming to AmericaAmerica Is BigUnless you are from North Korea, this is not news. However, let me add some context. Most Americans have seen surprisingly little of America. This may be because of a syndrome akin to the demonstration effect in economics but I am now inclined to attribute it partly to the sheer size of this country.

We tend to attach more value to things and experiences from elsewhere. As such it is typical of tourists to have seen more of a foreign country than that country’s locals. For example, I have been to every state between South Carolina and Massachusetts, and to California and Nevada. I have also been to every province in South Africa, and driven the N1, N2, N3, N4 and the N12 end to end. Most South Africans only know their home province and Gauteng. Similarly, most Americans only know their home state (and sometimes only a small part of it), and maybe one or two other states.

Likewise, even though I was born and raised in Uganda, I am only familiar with Kampala and some of Eastern Uganda. In fact, I went to Mbarara for the first time just three months ago. I have no clue what goes on in Northern Uganda. I sometimes doubt it actually exists.

I think Americans have more of an excuse than the rest of us, excluding Russians, Chinese and Canadians, for not having seen most of their country.

The thing that I really love about America’s size is the way Americans use space. With the exception of the dense metropolitan cities like New York, America generally does things big. The roads are bigger, the houses are bigger, the cars are bigger, the university campuses are bigger and the burgers are bigger. Things are just bigger.And this is why I hate Europe.

Everyone Is In A HurryI am not sure where they are going or what they have to do but, judging from the way they behave while driving, Americans are either really busy people or the quantity of time available is less

By Tendo Kiribakka

I recently moved to the United States of America. Although I have been here several times before, this is the first time I am not just visiting. America is a wonderful place. I prefer it to all of Europe and most

of Africa. Being a conglomeration of people from the rest of the world, America naturally has a bit of everything from everywhere else.

Having been here three months I have picked up on a couple of things that I have particularly found interesting and/or disturbing. And since I have exhausted the entertainment on this eight hour flight from London back to Washington, D.C., here’s a few observations.

in America than in Africa. For reasons I am yet to uncover, everybody tailgates. There seems to be some urgency to get to the next traffic signal (translation: robot for South Africans. Traffic signals are called robots in South Africa. Weird, I know). It almost seems like people are racing between intersections.

To make things worse, everybody is always on the phone while driving. This is illegal in Maryland, where I live, but that does not seem to deter anybody. There are only so many things one can do while racing between traffic signals and texting generally should not be high on that list. As you might imagine, every morning on my commute—without fail—some idiot rams into another idiot’s behind. No pun intended. They are both idiots because the one who rear-ended was texting while tailgating, and the one who got rear-ended was texting and therefore could not drive defensively.

DWIMost people are familiar with the acronym DUI, driving under the influence. DWI is driving while impaired.

Whenever I move to a country I get a local driving license. I had to go through the entire process in South Africa (learner’s license, etc). Fortunately, I only had to do the actual driving test and two theoretical tests in Maryland. One of the tests is for drug and alcohol awareness. I liked this test. When I am president of Uganda this test will be mandatory.

DWI, although less serious than DUI, means driving while physically or otherwise impaired. Texting falls in this category, and so does driving while tired, sleepy, or emotionally distressed. Yes, in Maryland, you can be detained for driving while in an extreme emotional state. I absolutely second this. Clearly, somebody in Maryland did their homework on humans. However, I do not know how I will enforce this in Uganda as driving there typically induces an extreme emotional

state.

TailgatingThere is another kind of tailgating in America. Before (American) football games, the fans park their big American trucks (translation: bakkies for South Africans; pick-ups for Ugandans) around the corner and miraculously transform the truck’s tailgate into a venue. They proceed to consume copious amounts of beer and an assortment of comfort food while heartily speculating about the game in hand, no doubt. I found this a bit pointless but it involves eating food so I caught on quickly. Also, don’t dare show up wearing attire that does not reflect your unwavering support for your team.

And this brings me to a very interesting finding.

American FootballI don’t get it.If there is one thing I will have no clue about when I leave America, this is it.

Every service-provider has that one client they will never forget, whether it’s because he brought joy to them or put the fear of Satan in

them, it doesn’t matter. For me it was the guy who showed us the darkness in all our souls.

It had been an exceptionally busy night for the team and the 2 nurses who were working with me were at their wits’ ends. We had a child who was continuously convulsing despite our best efforts, numerous snake-bites coming in like it was hug-a-snake day and a drunk guy who’d been hit by a car and was staggering about wanting to kiss the nurses…or maybe he wanted to kill them, I forget which; their fear and revulsion was key however.

Around midnight, when things were finally beginning to settle down and we’d confined the drunken guy to a bed, in comes this panicking single-father with his 3 year old daughter in tow. The little girl was weak and lethargic and the father was babbling out some disjointed story from which I gleaned that his kid had been having some pretty serious diarrhoea, but the guy did not want her to be admitted.I yelled yet again in my head, for the hundredth time that day.

So, we set about doing our thing and as we stabilized the child, I tried to take more detailed

ON Call : The Human Rope The Human Rope

history from the dad who’d calmed down at that point. On asking when the diarrhoea had started, dude began telling me how he’d been initially invited to some ambassador’s party with a bunch of well-known public figures in Uganda. He goes ahead to inform me that he was a lawyer and that’s why he was well connected; that it was at this party when various ladies hit on him but he couldn’t do anything because he had to get back to his kids at home, blahblahblah.

*15 minutes later*

And so, as he was going back home, he decided to get the kids some chicken and fries but this particular 3 year old ended up eating her meal when it was cold and then the diarrhoea began the next day.I tried not to stare at him too weirdly and made a silent vow to not ask him any more questions lest I end up spending the entire night awake listening to his longwinded explanations. Oh, but he wasn’t done; he ends up spilling his entire pre and post-marital life to me and as the hours went by, I began to think that he had a diarrhoea of sorts as well.Yes, I am a doctor/counsellor/servant but man, when a dude is telling you what a harpy his ex-wife is and proceeds to call her all sorts of names in every language you know and then wants you to agree with him, you gotta draw the line. I did as much and chose that moment to go check on our resident drunk; meanwhile, the father decided

that 2am was a brilliant time to start texting his friends pictures of his sick kid. So, he called them up, let them know he was gonna send some images and started taking pics of the sick child – IV line and all – and WhatsApped them to God knows how many people.

I can’t be sure, but I suppose the conversations went a little like this.

At this time, the child was improving on the rehydration therapy and was sitting up, talking and even giggling. In his overly excited state (or so I assume; I know he wasn’t in his right mind) the dad texts his ex-wife a picture of their sick child.

Seconds later, he starts having the loudest phone-argument you can ever imagine at that time. His voice was booming with indignation and the kid was starting to get agitated again. On hanging up, he throws around all the cuss words he could manage and grimly informs us the mother was coming to take the girl away but he was not going to let that happen.*30 minutes later*

We were busy sedating the then aggressive drunkard when we heard voices rising in anger. We rushed to the scene to find the father fighting with the mother over the child. She was accusing him of being careless and he was declaring that she only ever cared about the kids when they were in public. The waves of hate roiling off those two were

immense and we had to steadily make our way towards them in the manner one would when walking through a storm.

A few seconds later, the mother tries to snatch the kid from the father’s arms and so began the very first tug-o’-war I’d ever seen, with a human child being used as the rope. The girl was screaming, the parents were not letting go and we were being blown back by the hate; trying to reach them but still too far away.

They don’t pay me enough for this.

At this point, the cashier had had enough and he got up to intervene. He stood up and we all sort of paused for a second to see this HUGE guy, walk up to this couple and tell them to cut it out or else he will flick his finger at their heads and break their skulls…or so I imagined. In truth, he just told them to calm down and the father took this chance to run the heck out of there with his baby.

In the silence that followed, we looked at each other…and then burst out laughing.

Whether it was the fatigue or the shock from the ludicrousness of the entire episode, we just couldn’t stop. None of us found it funny but we needed some relief from all the tension and some deep, dark place in our souls provided us with the laughter and we took it.

Oh, the humanity!

http://thedoctorsview.blogspot.com

by Denise Kawuma

Nude pictures? Are you crazy? Who does that? Com’on. Well, anyone does that! I have done that! Do I worry they will leak? Yes. Was I sane when I took them? Yes. This is why I just don’t get the hullabaloo about Desire Luzinda’s nudes. The crime is in the distribution not the production if you ask me. And while millions of you who

are shamelessing sharing the photos on all media platforms swear over your mother’s grave that you would never do such a “foolish” thing, quite a number have done it. Seven years ago, while in my mid-twenties my boyfriend then and I indulged in quite a number of nudies. It has been said that people in love do such stupid things… how can one be so foolish? Well, this is what happens. In that age of text messages and yahoo messenger, the chats start early in the day, especially if you are in a long distance relationship. This was the case in my situation, no different from Desire’s. At the office, between the deadlines boss the demanded, we chitchatted. The line that often set it all off was ‘what are you wearing?’ The breakdown of the clothes always got to the bottom layers and then what was below the very last layers. “I will show you tonight” always made its way into the conversation. Hours later, the chat continued at home through SMS. “What are you wearing to bed?” “Nothing”, always made its appearance too. And then, “I really need to see that great body”, along with other charming words.The next thing would be searching for that digital camera (these had become the IT thing). Thank God for the good ‘le timer, all you needed to do was strip and strike a sexy pose. I had all sorts, fronts, backs with a g string, in ways that showed all, in ways that showed nothing. He sent his too, just to show how rocky his business had become at the thought of me taking my nudies. The next day would be about downloading and emailing. Oh damn, it was such a turn on.

Where he kept his? No idea. Where I kept mine? Well, just in my email. Those days no one had the mind to start publishing other people’s nudes so this was the least of our worries; we just indulged in being naughty. It was such a turn on, looking through all those photos. Don’t know what became of them though.So years later some fake people decide that leaking such photos is great payback for the broken hearts. Such a loser mentality but hey society is full of such losers. Do we ever learn our lesson? Well, today no one will dare take a full nude photo but one thing for sure is that nudies are big on WhatsApp the only trick is concentration on parts.I must confess in the past 6 months I have sent quite a few pictures of different body parts to some people and they too have sent theirs…such exciting business on watsapp. Can these body parts leak too? Well, your guess is as good as mine.

Yap, I took a couple of

them photoshttp://rubydks.blog.com

ONE morning this week, a friend of mine texted us a call for help; his internet connectivity was faulty and he had failed to get a response from the provider’s Customer Care department, so he needed the contact of “someone” in the company “to help”.We fell upon him like a tonne of bricks; questioning why he was so accommodating of a service from a corporate entity he was presumably paying money to yet he often rants angrily when some government service or another does not meet his approval (even though he does pay taxes for it).Some people, however, responded giving him names and numbers of people to contact within the organisation “to help” him.Before he could make the phone calls for assistance, we told him he was subsidising mediocrity, abdicating his customer rights, and most importantly, wasting our own mobile internet packages because we were using WhatsApp.Eventually, he emerged with a scathing blog post that the people at Orange Telecom will not be happy about for a while.But the people who thought nothing of sharing contacts of “helpful” people made me stop to think – and my thoughts rested with three people: two of my brothers, and President Yoweri Museveni.The two Kaheru boys both worked at different telecommunication companies (telecoms), in different departments, but were always fielding phone calls from people seeking their help in resolving or explaining or forwarding or generally helping with some cell phone related problem or the other. Even after they had left employment with the telecoms, the phone calls and queries continued – for anything, sometimes without the caller having tried the official channels first.But many of these callers would get to these two boys after having faced

massive frustration with the official channels – and it was in very few cases that they asked for the number of the Chief Executive of the telecom, yet I have always felt that if you need intervention when things aren’t working properly then THAT’S who you should call – the ‘boss’.And that’s where the President came into mind; you may have noticed that in recent months the number of ordinary people struggling to break through his security rings at public rallies has increased somewhat. And as he has always done, he shouts his security detail down and has these people listened to only for them to reveal that they have a claim that has met with frustration in the lower orders of the government. Photo from http://www.monitor.co.ugAnd he has to give an ear because at the end of the day he is the one most supremely accountable to them, one and all, and needs to ensure that the government doesn’t lose even a single supporter, or the Party a single voter.And even if it’s not the perfect solution to this problem, I believe it works quite well in getting things done and issues handled.So people like my frustrated telecom customer

Go straight to the top to get services fixed

By Simon Kaheru

friend should adopt the methods of those frustrated widows and orphans who cut through highly trained heavily armed security personnel to get to the top.After absorbing the effective frustration of these corporate customer care systems, instead of seeking mid-level contacts a la the Kaheru boys et al to “help”, go straight to the Chief Executive for intervention; after all, he or she is the person most accountable and needs to ensure that the company doesn’t lose even a single customer.For me, personally, the escalation to CEO level is always one step above my first official interaction with the Customer Care people; because the CEO is just an employee of the company. The CEO is senior-most, highest paid employee, with the biggest perks, and therefore the one with the most to lose.I don’t allow them to be ‘bosses’ who are unreachable – and as the President shows when he barks at his security personnel as they try to do their job and stop those widows and orphans from cutting through, WE are their bosses.

https://skaheru.wordpress.com

JOSEPH’S JACKET IN POTIPHAR’S

BEDROOM

The bedroom battle.It cost him his jacket.

“My jacket? My values?” He probably contemplated.

What was he going to choose?Joseph’s story still amazes me. Not because of my Sunday school diagram memories ( if I still have them anyway) but because, at 27 years, I –like Joseph- still find myself leaving my jacket

in places – of course not in girl’s bedrooms .(Stop judging, you!)

But places – places that represent Potiphar’s bedroom. And you know them; you have been

there, haven’t you?You get the invitation card and check the

bottom to see whether beer will be served. Choice – You leave your jacket.

30 minutes into the movie and the swearing makes you wonder what Jesus would do if he were seated in the same couch? Choice – You

leave your jacket.You hear a line from Oprah Winfrey about “self”. You wonder whether it has biblical

support. Choice –you leave your jacket.You are in the accountant’s office with your workmates ready to sign and you wonder

whether the “backdating” language is kingdom stuff. Choice – You leave your jacket.

You notice her awkward sitting posture and wonder whether you should take a second

glance. Choice-you leave your jacket.Our days are filled with choices to love our jacket and risk sin or leave our jacket and

embrace freedom.

I hope we don’t miss out on Jesus joy by lowering our values.

I hope we leave our jacket when we remember Jesus’ words.

“Whoever must come after me must deny himself, take up the cross and follow me (Matthew 16:24).”Because truth is, leaving nice jackets behind has

never been easy stuff.Ask Joseph.

https://muleefu.wordpress.com

She walked slowly; the clear lines in her small wrinkled hands holding on loosely to her yellow bag. From afar you'd never have noticed the shrinking hands shaking with every step she took.Her yellow bag was small enough for her pink handkerchief and a roll of money she had counted as sufficient for the journey: One two thousand

shilling note, one one thousand shilling note and a five hundred

shilling coin. Her eyes were looking down, avoiding the

glares of the numerous young people in this part of town. She used to be young. She remembered her quick feet when she was strolling with her girlfriends forty years ago. Loud conversation in the street, hoping they would be envied.

And they were. Pretty sundresses with the summer hats and oversized sunglasses. She looked up occasionally to see how far the gate was. Her watery eyes didn't

look long. Her black lips mumbled a bit and then went mum. I paused a while as I passed by her. What kept her going at her age? The woman wasn't old.

She was probably twenty-three, it was evident when she smiled. However when the smile faded and she had to shut up the three screaming children walking with her; boy of seven, girl of three, boy of two; you could have thought she was in her forties.The eldest boy carried a nineties style Adidas tennis bag. There were rivulets of sweat coming down his brow, his face was oily, it was very hot. The bag was weighing him down however, he only seemed focussed on following his mom to the gate. She had three children at twenty three. There was no man with her. He made the occasional cameo when he missed her, when he missed her brown skin. She could never say no. However, all the burden of looking after their children was hers. So today she would take them to their grandma.I paused a while as I passed by her. Did she merely live as the day came or she looked forward to something?Moving portraits. I encounter them each day. Usually my ear phones are plugged in, to try to drown out the questions and journeys in my mind when I see the faces, but the portraits shout at me. They force me out of my mind's skin into another's.

Moving portraits. Sacred secret stories.

http://nevender.blogspot.com

Moving Portraits. Sacred secret stories.

By Nevender Joel

By mark Mayanja

C'est à cause de vous tout ça. Moi j'étais bien, j'étais calme (comme d'habitude). J'ai reçu plusieurs messages de certaines têtes: « Marky, pourquoi tu n'écris plus d'article?? » J'ai essayé d'expliquer que je me suis enfin libéré de ces gens mystiques qui étaient sujets de mes articles précédents. J'ai essayé de dire que jen'avais plus d'inspiration parce qu'ils sont enfin partis déranger quelqu'un d'autre. « J'étais fan moi, tu crains »Non non, c'est vous qui craignez; vous avez tellement insisté, queles personnes aléatoires (P. As) vous ont entendues. Elles sont de retour.

AAAAAAaaaah ça fait même pas une semaine entière et j'en ai marre déjà, je deviens fou(Celui qui ose dire que je suis fou depuis long temps déjà.. Attention!!!!).C'est grave je vous dit. C'est comme un cancer. C'est toujours lorsque l'on se croit guérit que le cancer revient en mode Daft Punk/Kanye West « Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger ».Nan, c'est pire qu'un cancer, donc oublions Daft Punk et oublions Kanye.... Ah non, avant que Kanye vienne m'interrompre, je présentes mes excuses, n'oubliez jamais Kanye West! Jamais! Comme je disais, c'est pire qu'un cancer. Le monde des aléatwismes était rempli de folie. J'ai dérangé cette folie avec mes « Guerres contre les aléatwismes » et tous mes articles précédents où j'ai dévoilé les secrets de ce monde aléatwizzle. Et maintenant on dirait qu'ils ont créé une « Dream Team. » Une équipe

THE AVENGERS ALEATWIZZLES.

chargée de rétablir cette folie dans leur Monde.

The Avengers Aléatwizzles.

Ils sont pas bêtes ces P. As, enfin, si..mais ils ont été un peu plus malin cette fois. Ils n'ont pas tout lâché en une fois. Tout a commencé ce lundi matin, j'étais à la salle avec mon ami, Alvin(Les blagues genre « Alvin, où sont les chipmunks? » ZERO... il n'y a que moi qui peut les faire :p)On a tous les deux commencé avec un échauffement simple. Courir 17minutes sur le TREDMILL. Rien d'extraordinaire n'est-ce pas?? ERREUR. Il y avait 1 P.A à la salle, il devait avoir 52-55ans. Dès qu'il nous a vu quitter chacun sa machine, il s'est senti obligé d'intervenir. P.A: Déjà???!! Mark + Alvin: Oui oui. Mark:Ce n'était qu'un échauffement monsieur. P.A:Oui mais c'est ça le problème avec la jeunesse d'aujourd'hui. Vous êtes toujours pressé. Si vous voulez courir, allez y, mais faites le boulot jusqu'au bout. Alvin: Je vois bien ce que vous voulez dire, mais on va courir à l'entrainement ce soir, ce qu'on vient de faire la c'était un simple échauffement avant de commencer à jouer un peu avec les poids. :DP.A: N'importe quoi!! Tu vois jeune homme, c'est à cause de ça que vous perdez beaucoup d'opportunités. C'est à cause de ça que de nos jours, les filles de votre âge se dirigent vers les hommes de mon âge. Elles veulent quelqu'un qui

va terminer le boulot et non pas quelqu'un qui ne veut qu'un simple échauffement. *Il est monté sur sa machine à lui*

Merci la musique. Il y a eu une chanson de Trey Songz. Alors on s'est mis à rire comme si ce que disait le vieux nous intéressait, et après on a commencé à parler de la chanson de Trey, histoire de changer de sujet..Et pendant une heure on n'a r1 entendu du vieux. *une heure plus tard*

P.A: Ah,oui, vous voyez la les jeunes, après une heure sur cette machine, c'est là que je commence à sentir le plaisir qu'elle me donne.C'est là que la bête en moi se libère.

J'ai changé de salle. Je ne peux plus retourner la bas..ça ne va pas ouais! Je suis sorti tellement vite, Alvin ne m'a même pas vu fuir. Je me suis demandé ce qui se passait. On a toujours peur quand on voit que notre semaine commence de travers. C'est comme si tu vas à la school ou au travail le Lundi matin et puis tu tombes en courant pour le métro ou un truc du genre. Ça pue trop la semaine ratée. J'ai passé toute la journée à regarder à gauche et à droite, parce que j'étais sûr que quelque chose n'allait pas. Mais pour finir, ces farceurs de la vie m'ont fait croire que ce n'était qu'un accident. J'ai fini ma journée sans trouble. Et j'ai dormi, fin, j'ai essayé.

Le Mardi matin. J'ai souffert. J 'ai souffert grave. Je ne sais vraiment pas ce que j'ai fait pour mériter ça. Il était 11h45 du mat, j'étais avec ma cousine au restaurant. On s'était pas vu depuis l'année passée parce qu'elle travaillait en Afrique du sud. La serveuse est venu nous demander sion voulait boire quelque chose. Ceux qui me connaissent savent que jen'ai pas hésite. « Deux Fantas pour moi s'il vous plait. » La serveuse a répondue en souriant « Je vois que tu ne veux pas changer » Comme je passait souvent à ce restaurant, elle s'était habituée à ma commande et faisait la même blague nulle à chaque fois. Malheureusement, ce jour là, elle s'est senti un peu plus inspirée que d'habitude. Elle a décidée de créer une nouvelle blague. Quand elle a

ramenée mes boissons, elle a versé un de mes Fantas dans le verre, et elle en a bu un peu. Bon,attendez, je ne sais pas si vous avez compris- Elle a bu MON fanta!!! Pas le votre, pas celui de ma cousine, pas celui d'un gars qui ne sert à rien...(Genre H*rdy ou C*dric.. ou même Chris W Mpata..) MON fanta à moi Mark Jeremy Mayanja aka Marky Mark aka @TheCountMarkula (J'en profite pour faire la pub pour mon Twitter :D:D). C'est bien plus que sacré mon Fanta. On va faire comme ça: chaque personne qui lit cet article doit écrire un commentaire où il dit depuis(environ) combien de temps il me connait et si je vous ai déjà laissé boire mon fanta. Ellea cru qu'on était ami.. Elle ne sait pas que même dans l'amitié on ne boit pas MON fanta n'importe comment. Je préfère t'en acheter deux que de te laisser boire Mon fanta... J'ai rien dit, j'ai commandé, bcp trop, j'ai mangé comme un fou, j'aipris tout ce que je pouvais encaisser comme dessert et à la fin,j'ai quitté le restaurant SANS PAYER of course!! Quelle haine..mon fanta...... quelle folie!!! Quel mauvais timing tout ça. Étant donné que je n'avais plus de salle vu que j'ai décidé de ne plus retourner là où j'avais trouvé le premier P.A.

Je me suis mis à réfléchir. (Il y a certains qui ne savent pas ce que ça fait de réfléchir detemps en temps mais bon.. vous, on ne peux pas vous sauver, vous êtes foutus :p) Je me suis demandé si les P.As étaient de retour. Mais je ne voulais pas stresser pour rien. Je me suis dit qu'il fallait au moins attendre qu'il y ait un troisième cas avant de laisser gagner lestresse. :D #TeamOptimisme

Le Mercredi j'étais prêt. J'étais sûr que l'attaque des P.As était proche et donc j'avais les yeux grands ouverts. Mais non, rien dutout. Ils ne se sont pas montrés. Alors le soir j'ai décidé de rejoindre mon frère et ses amis. Ils voulaient aller à une fête sponsorisée par Heineken: Heineken Full Moon Party.(Pour ceux qui ne savent pas c'est quoi le « Full Moon », google est votre ami ..je ne suis pas là pour vous instruire.) Arrivé à la fête, on m'a présenté un gars mystique. Il portait un bonnet, un pull noir et un bracelet « I Luv Arsenal »..J'ai oublié son nom, mais je sais juste que c'était moche. Donc àcause de son bonnet et son amour pour le club aléatwizzle..ArseNUL..on va l'appeler Eric Mvuezolo. (Challenge accepted mon ami :p) Eric a passé sa soirée à nous parler des clubs de foot dont on ne s'intéressait point. Arsenul..Psg..bref! Il a même commencé à nous raconter comme quoi il travaillait maintenant avec

le club PSG. Par après, on a appris qu'Eric était assistant du concierge..mais bon, qui suis-je pour cracher sur le travail de ses rêves. Parcontre, j'ai tout le pouvoir qu'il faut pour cracher sur ce qu'il a fait à minuit. Eric Mvuezolo à 23h58 a bu des gorgés XXXXL de son Heineken, et s'est donné une douche d'Heineken avec le reste. Tout ça en criant!!!! Il faut savoir que ce n'était que sa deuxième bouteille. Il a continué à crier en enlevant son pull. En suite il a essayé de déchirer son t-shirt. Je dis bien « essayé » parce qu'il n'a pas su le faire #Heureusement. Mon grand frère n'est pas si calme, composé, patient, ... si fresh, si beau...si diplomate que moi. Mon grand frère n'a pas de temps pour des conneries, il est parti vers Eric et *SLAP*..Une claque pour faire taire M. Eric. Dès qu'il a obtenu le résultat qu'il voulait..

Tom(Mon grand frère..): What the ****, man?? Tu fais quoi la, il y a des filles qui nous regardent tu sais. Je veux pas de lien entre moi etle genre de folie que tu viens de montrer mon gars!! Mark: Tom,je crois que je vais rentrer avec mes amis à moi parce que... Eric: Vous comprenez pas, j'ai eu 25 ans il y a 3 jours, quand j'étais tout petit mon grand cousin m'a dit que lors de mes 25 ans, première nuit de Full moon, à minuit.. j'allais me transformer en Loup-Garou... et donc... Je n'ai pas écouté la suite. Souvent je reste écouter des bêtises juste pour que je puisse vous raconter ça par après..mais la.. NON NON ET NON.. Moi qui croyais être prêt en debut de journée, j'ai remarqué que j'étais bien LOIN de la. Loin d'être prêt. Loup-garou..pfff... Il s'est cru dans Vampire Diaries lui...??? Eric Mvuezolo – Loup-Garou.

Le Mercredi soir,je n'ai pas dormi. Je suis rentré à 03h30 et après une bonne douche FROIDE, je suis rentré dans mon lit, et j'ai regardé le plafond. J'ai téléphoné chez une de mes amies qui était avec moià la soirée. Elle m'a dit qu'elle était bien rentrée. La pauvre n'a pas compris que je n'ai pas téléphoné pour connaitre sa situation, mais plutôt pour connaître la mienne. Je voulais savoir si c'était un rêve mystique où si on avait vraiment vu un gars qui se croyait descendant d'une longue ligne de mecs loups-garous..

Le Jeudi j'avais un match de basket. On a perdu. Comme vous voyez c'était quasi la pire semaine de ma vie, tout allait de travers. Je me sentais un peu comme mon meilleur ennemi Orland Mangaléatoire. Je suis rentré chez moi après la défaite. Je me suis posé sur mon ordinateur et j'ai tenté de me distraire avec Facebook et Twitter. À 23h, je me suis dit « ah tiens, cette journée au moins va s'achever sans rencontre avec le monde des aléatwismes. »...ERREUUUUURRRR!! Quelques minutes plus tard, j'ai regardé mes messages privés sur facebook. Un new message de mon gars Andy aka D-Wade.. NORMAL. New msg de Joanne Diamond, c'était bien son annif, et j'ai profité pour l'appeler. NORMAL... Un new message de Patient X. Patient X vient souvent me parler quand il a des blems. Il sait qu'il peut me faire confiance de ne pas rire s'il me raconte des conneries(quel fou), et surtout de ne pas dévoiler son nom si un jour je me sens obligé de raconter ses histoires. Il y a deux semaines, il est venu me dire comme il était parti au Kenya, à Nairobi pour fêter l'annif d'une amie à lui qui était à USIU(Unif Américaine au Kenya).. Il m'a dit qu'il était traumatisé parce que la dernière nuit de sa visite, il s'était fait agresser dans la rue et que les deux voleurs étaient armés. Il a dit qu'ilne se sentait pas encore prêt pour me raconter les détails. Et 'avais compris et respecté sa décision de garder les détails pourlui. Ce Jeudi, il a décidé qu'il était temps, que la procrastination est inutile. Il était prêt. Malheureusement il ne m'a pas demandé si moi j'étais prêt. Moi je ne suis pas comme lui alors je vous préviens que ce qu'il m'a dit c'est du JAMAIS VU... Jamais entendu..jamais raconté.. jamais rêvé... jamais tout ce que vous voulez... Mais c'est 100%True Story:

Patient X: Mark, je vais aller droit au but. Je t'avais dit que je me suis fait agresser il y a deux semaines. Je t'avais dit que le gars était armé. Je sais que je ne t'ai pas dit s'il avait un gun ou un couteau ou quoi. Pourquoi pas? Et bien, parce que c'était aucun de deux. J'avais besoin d'une boisson et d'un peu de crédit pour mon phone. Je suis parti chez le paki. En rentrant chez mon pote il y a eu deux hommes qui m'ont stoppé. Il était tard, il n'y avait personne d'autre dans la petite ruelle et ils avaient tous les deux leur sexe en main. Le plus grand de deux a parlé très clairement: « C'est simple petit; Soit tu nous donne ton argent, ton téléphone, et même la petite boisson la que tu viens d'acheter.. Soit on te viole ici maintenant! Comme tu

vois, on est prêt..quel est ton choix? » Le choix était simple. J'ai donné, tout ce que j'avais, même le chewing gum que j'avais en poche. J'ai TOUT donné. Ils m'ont frappé et puis ils m'ont lâché, ça m'a bien traumatisé....

Ils vont loin ces P.As. Je vous jure ils vont trop trop trop loin la. Et pourquoi moi déjà??? Je piges pas! Vous avez des semaines comme ça vous?? Quand je penses à tout ce que j'ai déjà vécu avec eux, je me demande toujours jusqu'où ils vont aller. Je n'aurais pas du me demander ça, parce que le Vendredi, ils ont vraiment vraiment vraiment ABUSÉ. Troooop... ils ont tellement abusé que... que je nevais pas vous raconter ça today..........

C'ESTÀ CAUSE DE VOUS BANDE DE FOUS......

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