Date post: | 28-Jul-2015 |
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Write Tight (er)
May 21, 2015 Marcia Riefer Johnston
@MarciaRJohnston
#ConfabMN
Get to the Point and Save Millions
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Fast, pain-free technique
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?
What we’ll cover
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No headline?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No headline?
Nobullets?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No headline?
Nobullets? No
verbiage?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
#ConfabMN
No headline?
Nobullets? No
verbiage?
Howconcise!
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Most often I talk about content as text because text is everywhere … text is different … text is messy as hell.”
—Kristina Halvorson Content Strategy for the Web
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
Short
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise not mean?
ShortWhy?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A good speech [read, your text] should be like a woman's skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”
—Winston Churchill
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Make text, like a skirt, as long as needed.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Push button.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Push button. Push the button.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Not robospeak.
Keep the the.
Push button. Push the button.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What does concise mean?
MinimalWhat?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish your purpose
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish your purpose
No more
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish your purpose
No more No less
Minimal
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:Get you here
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
No more
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:Get you here
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
No more No less
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:Get you here
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically higher for the concise version [of the website]—58% better.”
—Jakob Nielsenwww.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically higher for the concise version [of the website]—58% better.”
—Jakob Nielsenwww.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Why else do I care?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Why else do I care?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
More engaging
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Cheaper to translate
Easier to understand
Why else do I care?
More engaging
More useful on small screens
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
This is your toothbrush when it’s new. The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips.
This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace. The blue bristles have turned half white.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Philips Sonicare™ toothbrush
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Is your text translated?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
How much can a word cost?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?words6
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?words6
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
You may be needing a loan.
How much can a word cost?
Translation cost (or savings):
$ 0.25
* the size of a Harry Potter novel
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences,* 25 languages
10,000 sentences,* 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database) unrecognized word
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database) unrecognized word
Full price
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database) unrecognized word “fuzzy” match Full price
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database) unrecognized word “fuzzy” match Full price
Pay less
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database) unrecognized word “fuzzy” match “perfect” match
Full price
Pay less
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
per word? How so?
Close enough
Varies with the language
Depends on the translation memory (database) unrecognized word “fuzzy” match “perfect” match
You still pay!
Full price
Pay less
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
Why I care
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise means
Why I care
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
whatever size your page or screen,
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Whether or not you translate,
whatever size your page or screen,
you owe it to yourself to ask …
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
How can I writemore concisely?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!*
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!**unless you need them
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact that
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjust
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order to
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbial
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particular
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiage
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!**unless you need them
Fast, pain-free technique
I coverthe rest in my workshop.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Jay FirestoneContent Strategist
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
isbe
am
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
isbe
wasam
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
isbe
has beenwasam
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
isbe
will be
has beenwasam
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
isbe will have
been being
will be
has beenwasam
are be-verbs
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
be-verb. Any form of the verb to be—namely, am, are, be, been, being, is, was, and were—whether used as an auxiliary verb or as a main verb.
—Bryan GarnerGarner’s Modern American Usage
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Start seeing be-verbs!
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able to be applied smoothly around curves as well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able to be applied smoothly around curves as well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able to be applied smoothly around curves as well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Bias tape has the advantage of being able to be applied smoothly around curves as well as straight.”
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not be self-evident.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not be self-evident.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not be self-evident.
You have to think.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
The fix might not be self-evident.
You have to think.
(Not too painful.)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audit logs are proof that no data breach has occurred.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Audit logs are proof that no data breach has occurred.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants to be predictive.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants to be predictive.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Our team wants to be predictive.
What does the team
want to do?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Skydiving was fun.
What happened?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
www.hemingwayapp.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“What was found was that access points on maps were not reflective or accurate for where they are.”
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“What was found was that access points on maps were not reflective or accurate for where they are.”
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“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
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“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—except to avoid (most) be-verbs.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!**unless you need them
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Dump these words!**unless you need them
I coverthe rest in my workshop.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word count
Cost to translate into 1 language 25 languages
x 10,000 sentences
(Harry Potter novel)
BEFORE Your original text here with more words than you need. 10 $2.50 $62.50 $625,000.00
AFTER Your tighter text here. 4 $1.00 $25.00 $250,000.00Savings 60% $1.50 $37.50 $375,000.00
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Elizabeth RichDirector of Digital Content
Produce Marketing Association
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
BEFORE Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after.
AFTER Write when you know something; and not before; and not too damned much after.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word count
BEFORE Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after. 17
AFTER Write when you know something; and not before; and not too damned much after. 14
Savings 18%
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word count
Cost to translate into 1 language
BEFORE Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after. 17 $4.25
AFTER Write when you know something; and not before; and not too damned much after. 14 $3.50
Savings 18% $0.75
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word count
Cost to translate into 1 language 25 languages
BEFORE Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after. 17 $4.25 $106.25
AFTER Write when you know something; and not before; and not too damned much after. 14 $3.50 $87.50
Savings 18% $0.75 $18.75
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Word count
Cost to translate into 1 language 25 languages
x 10,000 sentences
(Harry Potter novel)
BEFORE Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after. 17 $4.25 $106.25 $1,062,500.00
AFTER Write when you know something; and not before; and not too damned much after. 14 $3.50 $87.50 $875,000.00
Savings 18% $0.75 $18.75 $187,500.00
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Email me for the spreadsheet: [email protected]
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Use be-verbs when they serve a purpose.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content
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“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content ads
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Be-verbs are everywhere. See?
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Be-verbs are everywhere. See?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Now available
Start seeing be-verbs.HowToWriteEverything.com
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Start seeing be-verbs.HowToWriteEverything.com
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Email me for the bumper sticker : [email protected]
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Want to make this technique even faster?
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Adjectives • absolutely certain, absolutely essential, absolutely
guaranteed, completely necessary, totally sure• bald-headed• best ever, first ever• blue in color, few in number, long in duration, nubbly in
texture, round in shape, slovenly in appearance, short in height, slow in speed, small in size, tall in stature
• booked solid• exact same, same exact, same identical• filled to capacity• incredible to believe, visible to the eye, warm to the touch
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Nouns • actual experience, actual fact• added bonus• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning• all-time favorite, all-time record• alternative choice• anonymous stranger• annual anniversary• armed gunman• artificial prosthesis• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Nouns • actual experience, actual fact• added bonus• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning• all-time favorite, all-time record• alternative choice• anonymous stranger• annual anniversary• armed gunman• artificial prosthesis• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life
And that’s justthe a’s.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Verbs • add an additional• aid and abet, cease and desist, pick and choose• allow you to be able to• always include• ask the question• assemble together, attach together, blend together,
collaborate together, combine together, confer together, connect together, cooperate together, fuse together, gather together, join together, integrate together, meet together, merge together, mingle together, mix together, pool together, share together, splice together
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Odds and Ends
• 6 a.m. in the morning, 10 p.m. in the evening, twelve noon, twelve midnight
• and etc.
• ATM machine, GOP party, GRE exam, HIV virus, ISBN number, LCD display, PIN number, RAM memory, UPC code—and my favorite: Please RSVP
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise means
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What concise meansWhy I care
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
What concise meansWhy I careHow to write concisely
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Questions?
What concise meansWhy I careHow to write concisely
Story time
Story time
Water dispenser
Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons
Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons
Quick reference
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Concise = good... right?
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Three-minute video
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If conciseness doesn’t fix it, change what you’re saying.
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing and much, much more
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing and much, much more
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing and much, much more
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing and much, much more
powerful
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
For more on concise writing and much, much more
powerful
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think this is small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think this is small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think this is small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think this is small?
#ConfabMN @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) www.Writing.Rocks
Think this is small?