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Fun and games issue

@BlackSheepWVUkeep up all summer

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THIS SATURDAYLIVE ON STAGE, GYPSY WISDOM!

1) During your spare time in Motown, you’re likely to be found…a) In the library. There is no such thing as “free time.”b) At the Lair, mingling and making new friends.c) Flexin’ your guns at the REC.

2) If you don’t know an answer on a test, you’re likely to…a) Just bullshit it. You’re too cool for school anyway.b) Get it right. There’s not a problem you can’t solve.c) Narrow down your options and make an educated guess.

3) At a kegger, you are…a) Pumping the keg. You love meeting new people!b) The life of the party and keg stand champion.c) The one asking, “How the hell do you work this thing?”

4) When it comes to dinnertime…a) It’s grub time. Wings, pizza, burgers – the whole shebang! b) Protein, fruits and veggies. You follow the food pyramid to a T.c) You’ll eat whatever, as long as it’s on the meal plan.

5) You’ve developed a crush on campus. What do you do?a) Friend zone them and see where it goes. Hey, it’s progress!b) You’re socially awkward, so it’s best to admire from afar. c) Approach them and ask them out. Who could say no to you?

6) Out of your friends, you are the…a) The “cool” one. All the bitches love you.b) The “social” one. You’ll talk to anyone with a face.c) You don’t have time for friends.

7) What extracurricular sounds most like you?a) Chemistry Club. Who doesn’t like blowing shit up?b) Debate Team. You’re always itching for an argument.c) Club Soccer. Whatever shows off your sexy body.

8) What is your drink of choice?a) Natty Light. Cheap, filling, and easy to get drunk on. b) Hard liquor. It’s not about getting tipsy. It’s about getting plastered.c) Good ole’ H20 because you’re always the loyal DD.

the Quiz Which WVU AlUm Are yoU?

1) A-1 B-2 C-3 • 2) A-3 B-1 C-2 • 3) A-2 B-3 C-1 • 4) A-3 B-1 C-2 • 5) A-2 B-1 C-3 • 6) A-2 B-3 C-1 • 7) A-1 B-2 C-3 • 8) A-2 B-3 C-1

By: Gwen wyGal

answers answers answers answers answers

8-12 points: Astrophysics Astronomer, Kim WeAVer

You’re what some may call a “nerd.” Because school is your top priority, you have little time for play and your books are the closest things you have to friends. While you aren’t the most social, you’re bound to be the most successful.

13-18 points: Us senAtor, Joe mAnchin

You’re social and always looking to have a good time, but like a politi-cian, you’re always campaigning for people’s vote of approval. You’re very conscious of your budget and keep your grades up to par, but sometimes you get a little scandal-ous.

19-24 points: nBA hAll of fAmer, Jerry West

You’re the big guy on campus. You know all the best parties, have the best friends, and have everyone wanting to be you. Because of all the buzz about you, some might say you’re kind of a big deal.

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Reticents:The last five dollars in a college

student’s bank account, which they are hesitant to spend.

“Emilio only had $2.36 in reticents in his bank account, so he put the ramen back on the shelf and left the grocery store hungry.”

CodA KenoAnAl Will liMo SiS

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The

Top 10

TIFFANY BENSON WROTE THIS

ways to Leave Your Mark on Campus

Summer’s coming and graduation rears its ugly head for seniors who actually tried to complete their coursework. Soon they’ll be gone, never to return. If you’re one of them, make sure you leave your mark on Morgantown before you leave campus this year.

10.) Sleep with a professor: It might be difficult, but put in the extra effort. Who cares if he’s both married and old? Wait until one of your last classes and offer him a drink, then after an appletini or seven suggest you two head back to his place. Take your sultry tale of lust and deceit to the Daily Athenaeum and go down in the annals of Morgantown as a campus legend.

9.) Fake a new I’m Schmacked video: In the waning days of the school year there will be a plethora of students consuming beverages all across Morgantown. Bring a camcorder out and let them know what you’re doing. When you upload it to YouTube, you’ll have the last laugh, forever.

8.) Beat a drinking challenge: Remember when Marion Ravenwood took out that Nepalese god at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark? Switch the shots of whiskey to fishbowls at Mario’s. Challenge a sorority, and stumble into history as bartenders whisper your name to future Tuesday night denizens.

7.) Streak at a baseball game: Though fewer people attend Mountaineer baseball games than football or basketball digs, swallow your pride (and a couple quarts of gin) and pray that the unsea-sonably cold weather doesn’t do damage to your ego. And by ego we mean penis.

6.) Beat the Sandwich U Challenge: It’s a drunken college kid’s dream. All you have to do is eat five huge sandwiches in 45 minutes and you get your name in the restaurant. Future diabetic, obese students, customers, and Morgantownians will worship your name for ages to come.

5.) Graffiti anything: Go to every bathroom stall on campus and write your name and number. Students will be calling and texting you forever. Or, if you have serious balls you can go all-out and spray paint something. Put your name in the Lair parking garage or the windows of the clubs on High Street. Just…you know, no last names. For legal reasons.

4.) Be a part of a couch burning: If you aren’t into getting arrested then don’t start the fire, just watch it burn, baby. You can be one of the first people on the scene and make it to YouTube. Don’t think this is famous enough? There are videos from years ago that have over 50,000 views. That’s way more famous than you are now.

3.) Get arrested for something outrageous: Almost everything on this list can get you arrested, so just make sure you get caught. Your name will show up in the local papers, news stations, and the police blotter. That’s a permanent show that will never leave campus, or Google!

2.) Steal a campus icon: The High Street sign, the WVU flag hanging in front of the Mountain Lair, or the Mountaineer’s shoes are all things that students will realize have gone missing. You could go just kidnap the Mountaineer himself. First article in the DA “Student Convicted of Adult Kidnapping When Police Find the Mountaineer Locked in Trunk of Car.”

1.) Surf the PRT safely (as possible): It’s like an automatic surfboard that works half of the time. Anyone who witnesses such a feat will forever think, “That crazy asshole, he was a crazy asshole.” Your crazy asshole will go down in history.

It’s the most wonder-filled time of the year! No, not Christmas, that’s far gone. This wonder is more like confusion—students studying for exams for which they’re woefully unprepared. It’s time for finals. As the remaining weeks of the school year dwindle down, the opportunity to fail is wide open for a large majority of the student population. Students flock to Club Lib to absorb the billions of notes they’ve haphazardly taken throughout the semester. The library can be complicated this time of the year, so here are some do’s and don’ts as you prepare for the worst weeks of your life.

When dead week rolls around, the library is far from dead. All of a sudden every student at West Virginia University realizes that this can’t-miss on-campus building actually exists. You pack your book bag full of studious student nonsense and walk yourself to Club Lib only to find that there are no tables, computers or study rooms available. Why? Because it’s dead week and every 7th-year senior and his assclown friends decided they want try this whole studying thing. So, DO get to the library early. Feel free to pitch a tent, grab a sleeping bag and camp out when the library closes that Saturday before the start of dead week. After you’re in, just stay put. Club Lib is now open 24 hours, sleeping on your study table isn’t frowned upon. When you pack your history book, pack a pillow and blanket too. Maybe you don’t have to go to these extremes, but you’re going to want to get there early or you’re going to be studying that political science in between the aisles of dusty books and cobwebs.

What’s the number-one rule at the library? Shut the hell up. Though majority of the students at the library during dead week are merely pretending to study, there are some students there who really are trying to bend their accounting final over and nail out an “A.” DO a favor to yourself

and everyone around you and DO shut your pie hole. There is nothing more annoying than finally getting into the zone and turning all your attention to your work when all you can hear is the uncontrollable laughter or constant chit-chat from the table behind you. Nobody wants to hear about that fine girl at Sports Page who you got to make out with you because you lied about being on the football team. And nobody gives a shit about that “total dickhead at Sports Page who lied to me and said he played football so he could get into my pants.” Shut your trap and DON’T be a loud mouth.

Another thing you DON’T want to do is take the nickname for the library, Club Lib, too literally. Music is something that has become essential to the studying process. Music keeps students sane during the endless hours of having their nose in the books. But there are some people who just can’t comprehend the idea of decibels and want to be the Club Lib DJ for the night. They have their headphones in but the volume is “turnt” up to the maximum level. Now Club Lib now sounds like Lux on a Thursday night. Students don’t need to hear your horrendous tunes, and although you may be the biggest belieber on campus, DO turn the Biebs down, “If I was your boyfriend…” I’d slap you with my sociology book and tell you DON’T blare your music at Club Lib.

Students’ stress meters are through the roof during these crucial weeks and these do’s and don’ts of the library may help you out, or even save you from being a victim of a sociology book to the face. Just remember, don’t let this whole finals thing make you rip your hair from your skull, they’re only worth like 90% of your final grade and could be the deciding factor in whether you graduate or get into your major. DON’T sweat it! Happy studying, kids!

The Do’s anD Don’Tsof the library

RYAN PETROvICH WROTE THIS

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What's the first thing you're going to do after your last final?

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SATURDAY! Live on Stage, Gypsy Wisdom

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EvERYDAY SPECiALS!$2 Cans, $2 Shot Special$2.50 Bud Light Bottles

$3 Rail Drinks$5 Glass of House Wine

THURSDay B. O. T. Deck Party with WVAQ and

Lacy Neff! Neff on the patio! Win a trip to Mexico! 10-12: Jack, Captain, Smirnoff,

Bacardi and Miller Lite 12-cl: $3 Jack, Captain, Smirnoff, Bacardi and $2 Bottles

Ladies no cover after midnight

“Live Music Thursdays”$2 Bud Light Mug Night

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$5 Family Style Sunday Buffet

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passing the bar If you're too cool for Burnett's or stopped shooting Smirnoff months ago,

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you're right, you'll win a prize.

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Mackenzie m. KegLer'sWhat’s your major: Public Relations

How long have you worked at Kegler’s: It will be 2 years this August. What’s your favorite day to work: Football game days!  

What are your plans for the summer: Continue working here while going on as many beach trips as possible. 

What are you going to do as soon as you’re done with your last final: Probably take a long-awaited nap. 

Why should we come drink at Keglers: Everyone here is just really cool and fun to be around. The atmosphere is great to drink and have fun in. It’s a

great place to meet people and enjoy some of the best wings in town. Craziest story while working: During the LSU game in 2011 I got a $400 tip

for wearing LSU stickers on my shirt. Favorite drink to make: Trash cans Favorite drinking game: Civil War 

Favorite drunk food: A New Orleans from the Rusted Musket.

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Dear WVU,

You have served as an educational experience, as well as the home of all of our wild nights. You kicked our asses when it came to your grueling exams, and you kicked it even harder on the weekends, teaching us what it takes to be a student at the top party school in the nation. While it’s been one crazy year, it’s time for these country roads to take us home. No matter where you end up on The Princeton Review next year, you’ll always be #1 to us.

Until we return, we will miss all of the sporting events you have held for our beloved Mountain-eers. This year may have been brutal for us Mountaineers, but it didn’t stop us from hiding our pride. It masked the shame nicely. And for the love of god, buck up Geno, you’re playing in the big show now.

When it comes to the weather, you were as bipolar as a pregnant woman, but it made for some unexpected memories. When it snowed, we rebelliously stole dumpster lids and sledded down the monstrous Law School hill. When it was hotter than a sauna, we had makeshift day drinking parties. So what if it was a Monday morning? While we ask for you not to be such a bitch next year, we must admit we will miss your surprises.

We certainly will miss the “Drunk Bus,” considering now that we’re going home we’ll actually have to find designated driver. Even though it often felt more like a roller coaster ride than a safe way home, it never failed to be a good source of entertainment. Get ready for next year; there are many more “asshole” chants to come.

All year we moaned and groaned about your steep hills and seemingly endless stairs, but the truth is, we’re grateful. For all of the times we avoided the rec, you compensated us with a strenuous workout on our way to class. You may have put us through hell, but we have killer calf muscles to show for it, and for that, we thank you. For those of us who don’t have the drive to hit the gym this summer, you will be missed.

Let’s not forget what we’re best at; parties. Sure, it isn’t hard to gather up a few friends at home and get belligerent, but it isn’t the same without you. If it weren’t for you, there would be no

Fall Fest at which we consume our body weight in alcohol, only to throw it up all night with no regrets. Without you, Mardi Gras would go uncelebrated and St. Patrick’s Day would be just another holiday. Without you, couches would be something we simply sit upon rather than set ablaze. Nice try having campus police put out our couch fires, but we’re not afraid of rent-a-cops.

While it all sounds like fun and games, there are a sacred few (and we mean few) of us who will actually miss learning amongst our peers on campus, preparing ourselves for our futures to come. We may seem unappreciative, but we must admit that you don’t just provide us with a good time, but a good education. Give us a couple of months without homework and exams and we promise we will be back and ready to go come fall. Try not to miss us as much as we will miss you.

Sincerely,The Students of West Virginia University

WVU, you’ll be missedGWEN WYGAL WROTE THIS

Tiffany, The black sheep writerare you smarter than?

tiffany's score: 3/10 correct

tiffany's answers1. Sprint2. Snake

3. Samurai4. L.A.

5. Sports award?6. Subaru

7. F.D.R.8. I don’t know9. A shoe box? I

don’t know.10. Friends

1) TECHNOLOGY: Who is the largest cell phone service provider in the United States?__________________________________________________

2) THE WILD: The black mamba is the most poisonous what in the world?__________________________________________________

3) HISTORY: Bushido was a way of life practiced by these romanticized warriors of days past.__________________________________________________

4) COMEDY: Famously, where does SNL character Matt Foley live?__________________________________________________

5) SPORTS: In 2012 R.A. Dickey won what  prestigious award?__________________________________________________

6) SLOGANS: What car company trumps themselves as the "Ultimate Driving Machines"?__________________________________________________

7) FAMOUS SPEECHES: Which President of the United States issued a warning against the rise of the military-industrial complex in his farewell address?__________________________________________________

8) POLITICS: Who co-authored 1848's The Communist Manifesto with Karl Marx? __________________________________________________

9) CURRENT EvENTS: The bombs used in the recent Boston Marathon bombings were housed in what?__________________________________________________

10) Tv: What much-loved TV show sparked rumors of a comeback ten years after going off the air?__________________________________________________

1) Verizon 2) snake 3) samurai 4) in a van down by the river 5) cy Young/nl cy Young 6) bmW 7) dwight d. eisenhower 8) friedrich engels 9) pressure cookers 10) Friends

correct answers

THE RIDDLE

THE

Do you know what's going on here?! email us the question the riddle is asking plus the answer to said

question, to riddle@theblacksheeponline.com. If you're right, you'll win something sweet!

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DisclaimerThe Black Sheep in no way promotes,

encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper

is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please

drink...responsibly and legally.

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aCROSS1) Literature majors’ online study buddy4) Secret Starbucks super-strong coffee5) Last-second study session11) Coffee alternative for the weak12) Hope you've taken notes since day one if you've got one of these exams13) Don't let one audibly slip in the library14) They always manage to break right before your paper is due17) Look at these for last minute cram-ming18) Biblioteca, according to Spaniards19) Where to vent your #studyprobz20) Coffee shits can be described as such

DOwn2) As finals get closer, the price of this goes higher3) A bubbly test form6) "Adderall Alternative" by Genetech Pharmaceutical7) "To ___ perchance to dream"8) Adderall and meth have this in com-mon9) The social networking mecca of procrastination10) It streams hours of procrastination12) The lifeblood of studying15) You'll have to borrow these after never going to class16) Scientific word for "why coffee makes you pee"

the crossword: sTuDying for finals

The semester’s over and you’re excited to leave, you just aren’t excited to drive back home with your parents. This time, you decide to make the ride interesting, so you make up a story that will __1__your parents senseless.

You get in the car and mom asks, “How was your summer, dear? You reply, “It was all right except for that__2__night on High Street.” Your mom, looking appalled, asks, “You go downtown? You should focus more on your __3__ than do stuff like that.” “Just let __4__ tell the story, dammit!” dad yells. “Thanks, dad.” you say.

“Anyway, I was with my friends at __5__, drinking up a storm when the whole __6__ team came in. They told __7__ and me about this insane party on Frat Row, so we decided to go. When we got there, it was a giant __8__! So we took our __9__off and jumped right in! You couldn’t tell when one person’s __10__ ended and another one started.”

“Just when we were getting into the heat of the moment, the police showed up. Everyone tried escaping because there was underage __11__, drugs, and a lot of naked people. Needless to say, I got caught and they sent me to __12__ for the night. It wasn’t too bad, except for the guy that kept calling me __13__ and stroking my __14__. I got a citation for underage __15__ and I found out just last week that I have __16__. So overall, my semester was __17__ and I can’t wait to come back to come back to the number __18__ party school in the nation. And this is what your __19__ goes toward. You’re welcome. “

Needless to say they never said another word the whole way home. That summer they made me transfer to __20__.

1) pReSenT TenSe veRB2) ADjeCTIve

3) nOUn4) Your nAme

5) BaR On HIGH STReeT6) SPorT

7) FRIenD’S naMe8) noun

9) aRTICle OF ClOTHInG (plURal)10) BoDY PArT

11) veRB enDInG In –InG12) PLACe In morGAnToWn

13) annOyInG COUple peT naMe14) BoDY PArT

15) veRB enDInG In –InG16) TYPe of STD17) aDjeCTIve

18) numBer19) nOUn

20) unIverSITY BeSIDeS Wvu

the madlib the cAr ride home With yoUr pArents

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DE MAYO PARTY WEEKEN

DGREAT SPECIALS! TWO CHANCES TO WIN A WEEK IN MEXICO FOR TWO!

THURSDAY: Win a Trip to Mexico! B. O. T. Deck Party with WVAQ and Lacy Neff10-12: Jack, Captain, Smirnoff, Bacardi and Miller Lite | 12-cl: $3 Jack, Captain, Smirnoff, Bacardi and $2 Bottles | Ladies, no cover after midnight!

FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR: 2-4-1 drinks and beers! Patio open (weather permitting)$5 All You Can Eat Meixcan Food Buffet for Cinco de Mayo! DJ Sean Nice in the Club

SATURDAY Doors open at 6! Team trivia 7-10 | $2 Corona, $2 Margaritas, $2 Cuervo DJ Wayne Brady in the club!

SUNDAY Cinco de Mayo - Win a trip to Mexico! $2 Margaritas, $2 Cuervo and 2-4-1 CornitasPlus, more great specials all night | Karaoke 9-2 | Patio opens at 6pm!

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