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Collage as subjective experience: Transitioning, relinquishing, becoming
Alison F Bell, University of the West of Scotland
Abstract
Through reflexivity and its intrinsic multiple interpretations of the ‘image’, collage
allows one to find the words to express subjective experience. By a practicing artist
searching for a method of enquiry through creative practice that seamlessly merges the
making and the textual, this article will outline the narrative of a synthesis of the thinking
through making and ongoing reflexivity where collage is used as a form of methodology
within a practice based Ph.D.
Keywords
creative process
collage
subjective experience
reflexivity
‘Collage’ is derived from the French word, coller, to stick, a cut and paste process now
familiar through our use of digital technology. However, it goes back considerably
further; 1000 years ago Japanese calligraphers used torn bits of paper to embellish their
written texts and it continues to appear sporadically, for example with Victorians using it
to express their family narratives in scrapbooks. More recently, it could be said to have
paved the way for the onset of postmodernism (Denzin 2008: 3) that is itself almost
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‘collage-like’ in that it disrupts our sense of reality and the generally understood aesthetic
unity of things by reflecting the very way we see the world, with objects being given
meaning not from within themselves, but rather through the way we perceive how they
stand in relationship to one another. S. Finlay (2000) observed that, when viewed
together, the elements of collage combine multiple meanings from individual and
sociocultural influences and so bring disparate voices of the internal–personal and
external–contextual to a commonplace namely, the arena of the human condition.
Collage does not preclude conventional ‘artistic skill’ but it encourages creative
exploration; therein rests its inherent attraction for artist/researchers as it offers the gift of
multiple voices. This article explores issues within an auto-ethnographic study of
subjective experience, specifically, those of transitioning, relinquishing and becoming,
how it feels to age as a woman artist and how re-representation of the self might evolve.
It is perhaps less daunting to relate to the idea of this research as a human enquiry into
subjectivity that we all share but that is often difficult to evaluate within an academic
context. By working within the comparative safety net of generated images, rather than
articulating through the linear precision of words, how might collage help to untangle the
complex and frequently unresolved emotions contained within this human state? Through
creatively ‘playing’ with images and their multiple meanings, might one use the
advantages of collage’s visual indeterminacy while slowly reaching for possible
understanding?
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I began creating a series of what I loosely define as being collaged works; these examine,
respond to and reflect on subjective experience, in particular, my own ageing process as a
woman artist. My reason for choosing collage as a method of enquiry was that I needed a
way of generating images that might evolve as a way of visualizing unarticulated emotion
while not being dependent on my own making skills as a textile artist. Intuition and my
inner need to visualize it navigate my collage process, its path is articulated through
hand-made or appropriated images working in tandem, inter-connected, each having
specific qualities that enhance reflection at any given time. I am drawn towards ways of
slow making, such as with silk, hand-made paper and stitching, but I also found myself
intuitively reaching for ready made images from the media as these seemed to offer an
immediate visual language that best embodied inner conflict and uncertainty.
T. Barone and E. W. Eisner (1997: 73–98), when distinguishing art from science, defined
several criteria integral to an arts-based enquiry – notably to ‘create a new vision that
draws the audience in, thereby provoking new ways of looking at situations’. These new
insights and ways of knowing permit us to re-examine ourselves from multiple
perspectives and confirm that ‘one’s subjectivity is shifting and contradictory – not
stable, fixed and rigid’ (Richardson 2008: 447). When writing on auto-ethnography as a
method of qualitative enquiry, H. S. Jones (2008: 207) suggests that it ‘creates charged
moments of clarity, connection and change’. Some have highlighted specific aspects of a
postmodernist approach to research which advocate multiple routes into qualitative
enquiry (Bochner 1997; Denzin 1997; Ellis 2004). L. Richardson (2008: 476) states that
‘no method has a privileged status’. R. Pelias (2011) describes life narratives as a way of
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making sense of our lives by constructing a personal logic, one which though not
permanent, still offers insight and understanding.
If collage methodology rooted in and led by creative practice is situated in
experimentation, then surely the point ‘is not to reiterate but to innovate, to offer
experiences and insights’ (Bal 2001: 33) to reveal unforeseen thoughts. This idea of
discovery was reinforced for me as I worked with collage, seeing it quite literally from
different perspectives, where multiple interpretations were made visible through the
collage’s spatial contexts.
As part of my creative practice I have always kept sketchbooks, finding them an essential
part of my creative process. For the collage, I also took numerous photographs of the
developing work and my ongoing reflections on its possible meaning and like the work
itself, unexpected realizations can occur during this important time. Working further with
the photographs of the collage, I used simple digital imaging tools in PhotoShop, such as
inverting the image from positive to negative thereby revealing unobserved aspects,
aware that in being led by intuition rather than any aesthetic sense of the visual elements,
might create interesting insights. However, interpretations are just that: snapshots of a
moment in time, captured, put under a microscope, analysed and conclusions drawn.
I had written in my sketchbook on the 31 December 2011:
I like inverting – it allows me to ‘see’ more, or emphasize elements – the work
itself takes on new meaning, even though the original images are poor. Is the
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curled paper a metaphor for my beckoning hand, inviting ‘one’ in? (Figure 1 and
Figure 2)
[Figure 1 Dec 2011]
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[Figure 2 Dec 2011 detail inverted]
At this point in the process, what I found particularly interesting and also reassuring, was
the initial choice of materials and imagery I had selected, that ‘knowing’ when
something is ‘right’ (Claxton 2000) yet not realizing at the time that their significance
would give rise to so much subsequent reflection (Figure 3).
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Several days after completing the collage, when I looked at the photographs again, I
wrote in my sketchbook:
I ‘see’ things not visible in the original, I want to ‘pull out’ aspects of the
narrative – not an aesthetic decision – something else, more intuitive, to do with
what’s in my head. Can/should I do this? It’s to do with the heads and torsos – the
parts I added seem unimportant now, apart from the strong blue vertical line. Am
I responding to the visual or to the ‘felt’? Not sure. Is there a line where the visual
and the ‘felt’ touch? Is this the strong vertical line I have drawn with paint,
dividing the image in two; the observer and the observed?
This realization was important; the dividing line held greater meaning than what I had
hitherto imagined. Through photography and simple digital manipulation I had used
inversion as a way of seeing into the collage; this perspective, where the negative
becomes the positive, reframed the collage and allowed thoughts to evolve. Like looking
in a mirror and seeing one’s opposite (Figure 4).
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[Figure 4 Dec 2011 inverted]
I continued writing in the sketchbook:
What is emerging now is that as I uncover hidden feelings, I can’t actually write
the words on the image itself. I can do it here, (in my sketchbook) or in my
journal, but not on the image […] slow analysis comes over time […] I’d rather
unravel the threads, returning to it often, to see where my interpretations are.
(Figure 5)
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[Figure 5 Dec 2011 detail]
Thinking of G. Claxton’s description of the work itself, ‘evolving over time’, I found
myself in the position of being unable to direct the viewer to the heart of my thinking.
Any ‘signposting’ felt premature, more time needed to pass, to reflect and for ideas to
simmer. Wallas (1992) has a classic model for creativity: preparation where reason is
applied, ‘impasse and incubation’ when it is not really worked on at all, illumination and
finally, verification. This might appear dispassionate for something so fundamentally
human and subjective, but having worked with this particular collage, it made complete
sense. It felt rather too ‘thick’ for me to even see it objectively, as it revealed deeply held
emotions too uncomfortable to contemplate (Barone and Eisner 1997).
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The next few days were spent writing and reflecting on the collage process and what it
might mean. An entry from my sketchbooks reads:
This is what I see now – the 3D head is watching the compliant 2D figures, rising
from the earth to look down, not intervene. Yet the 2D figures do seem to be
being protected, possibly by themselves, from themselves? I wonder. The strong
vertical line is a divide, a border between the true self and the ‘performances’ one
plays. Will they integrate or stay separate?
Thinking about collage as an evolving series of intuitive visualizations of inner thought, I
find that my journals and sketchbooks are crucial to this whole process of creation and
reflection, what D. Schön (1991) called ‘reflection on action’. Nothing else would ‘work’
for me as a means of accurately capturing the sensory details at the moment of creation;
even down to the way I write in the journal and sketchbooks, the varying size of the
writing and the pens I have used, they all leave a visual and textual impression of how I
felt, held within that moment in time (Figure 6).
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Collage acts as a bridge between theory, my reflections and creative practice and the final
artwork, the collage is not the final product; it is a methodological framework for my
research. Collage creates a snapshot, a moment in time of my thoughts and feelings at the
moment. I also use a very simple camcorder and as a way of documenting and recording
how the collage develops and perhaps more importantly, how I feel about it both during
making and later, when I have had time for reflection. What is interesting about this way
of documenting is that it captures moving time rather than a still image, taken with a
camera. The juxtaposition of the fixed camera image and the moving image of the
camcorder enhances insight. The image quality is adequate for further visual insight
gained from simple digital imaging, often revealing something significant missed when
using a camera and photographs. My own voice on the video conveys meaning quite
different to that of my written words, it feels more spontaneous. While speaking, it is
much easier to capture my intentions and less disruptive than it is to write. While walking
and reflecting, I often talk into my mobile phone, this too reveals unseen elements of the
collage. This is an interesting aspect, one I will investigate at a later date. Documenting
alongside simultaneous making is crucial though sometimes difficult; yet I have found
that when I have created a collage with very little written documentation, subsequent
reflection can feel rather ‘thin’; over time, I may have often forgotten what each part of
the collage really meant and perhaps missing part of its narrative.
I am aware that my sense of the aesthetic and my intuition both vie for my attention as I
create the collage, each trying to direct the rhythm of the making. I am a ‘product’ of my
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time; art school trained in the 1970s with the subsequent sense of the aesthetic instilled
into my thinking over many years, through the influences of Romanticism’s idea of
Nature and my own desire to create beauty, having regarded this as an end in and of
itself. Using my intuition has always been part of my creative process, allowing me to
spin themes, to follow threads, creating a mesh of possibilities. Claxton (2000: 22) notes
that people immersed in a specific way of seeing find it difficult to recognize the
potential in new perspectives. How might I react now as I move through the making of
this collage, if my intuition urges me towards visual dissonance, how would my aesthetic
self-deal with that? Might I consciously allow such a situation to occur within the sacred
space of creativity if it runs counter to my artistic training? Could I then trust what I
created to be a true representation of my inner thoughts, at that moment in time? Is it a
real response or is it a well composed picture, a conscious construct, aesthetically
pleasing and containing the requisite balance of visual elements? Perhaps this splitting of
hairs, dividing up the creative process into its constituent parts is self-defeating, if my
aim is to shed light on my own thinking by being drawn into the realities of the collage?
Further comments from my sketchbook remind me of Claxton’s observation about the
‘seed of recognition’ (2006). I sense ‘that this will become important for me – not so
much the doing as the why I do it. It is a response; I am not aware of thinking, planning,
envisioning – just feeling my way, sensory not cognitive, it is intuitive, what Hughes
called ‘breaking into that inner life’ (Claxton 2006).
These new visual perspectives on the collage, unanticipated, are offering me a whole
range of possibilities in terms of interpretation; however, what we see depends on our
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angle of vision (Richardson and Lockridge 2004). I notice too that my reflection takes on
subtle shades of understanding and meaning as time goes by and the work itself has had a
chance to gestate; I need patience to resist the desire to end the discomfort of confusion
(Claxton 2000).
It is helpful to return to the collage after some time has elapsed as new levels of
perception reveal themselves. The idea of multiple perspectives is not just a visual
experience, but can act as a ‘trigger’ for further interpretations; perhaps these were
lurking within the subconscious as the collage took shape, or am I seeing it only from my
own perspective?
There can be inherent safety in collage. In using this process of reflection, linear thinking
can give way to ‘relations of juxtaposition and difference’ (Rainey, 1998, cited in Butler-
Kisber 2010). The very nature of collage means that its mesh of visible layers encourages
new ways of looking and thinking about disparate elements. With images as metaphor,
the concrete and explicit are viewed from a safe distance, detached, as the intended and
unintended, the conscious and unconscious, take shape, become real. Raw emotion is
poised, prepared for exposure. In attempting to uncover inner thinking, this protection is
compelling. Over time, the collage process itself ‘lessens conscious control’ (Williams
2000: 104) over what is created and enhances the freedom to communicate deeply held
feelings, by almost being relieved of the responsibility of self-revelation.
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C. A. Mullen suggests that in linear, written texts, one frequently works from ‘head to
heart’ (1999: 292). However, in collage the opposite is possible, as fragments of
experiences, feelings and intuitions are glued onto a page, permitting ‘re-seeing,
relocating and connecting anew’. Artists trust this ‘guiding voice’ implicitly; it steers us
as we venture into those dark places that lurk silently in the recesses of our minds.
Collage itself is like a journey into darkness
(Figure 7 Dark
Spaces).
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In the twentieth century, artists have continuously explored what Jung called the Shadow
(Storr 1998), ‘they have consistently endeavored to look at what is difficult to see: to
press […] into the realms of sorrow, chaos, indeterminacy’ (Hirshfield 1998: 154).
While reading the artist Agnes Martin’s Writings (1991) the previous year and finding
myself deeply moved by her insight into that solitary state of being, as an artist, I had felt
inspired to explore my own recurring dark space by creating a collage of what I sensed
was in my mind, at that moment in time. I have used collage in my creative practice for
several years, visually exploring the spaces between the subtle low relief that this
medium offers. However, this was a new experience for me; to create with no anticipated
ideas or outcome in mind, but just to wander and encounter what emerged along the way,
coaxing out thoughts which might prefer to hide, unarticulated and silent. Rather like
Basho in seventeenth century Japan, wandering unobtrusively observing and commenting
on Nature.
Through being intent on the creating itself, focusing on the slow movements of the hand,
I hear the silence as it eases out irrelevant thoughts and find that the ignored, unseen,
everyday subtleties now have a chance to be heard. Some phrases from the sketchbook,
written at the time;
I see that in working on this, I always start to notice small details from ‘my world’
[…] If I pull the thread tight – the paper bends up towards me – something a
theoretical approach couldn’t have foreseen. […] The raised dimension, […]
looking underneath, beyond, to something else; […] it tempts me to alter my
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viewpoint of ‘dark spaces’. Not directly in front of them but to the side – a
sidelong glance through? It’s so much more interesting when viewed from the
side than from straight in front – that has no energy at all. Lying flat, it looks
spiritual, careful, placed, considered, and detached. Side on it looks alive, full of
rhythm and movement. (Figure 8)
[Figure 8 paper forms together]
As I began taking more photos of the collage from different angles, I wrote in my
sketchbook:
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‘One thing about taking photos of the work, different perspectives emerge, quite
different alongside the actual work resting on the table now beside me.’
‘Seeing in, “caught in” (now) something different, because it’s now and not then?
[…] Looking at the above (images onscreen) – I respond to them. Yet looking at it
on the table – it’s finished. How can this be? It’s time within a “frame” of
yesterday’s light, was it something else? Is it of the “real” work, when I feel it’s
finished (above)? So – what’s real? above – from yesterday – or now?’. What is
really driving this collage forward; my intuition or the aesthetic sense I have
acquired over a lifetime? (Figure 9)
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Figure 9 Paper form]
Further study is required in investigating how the aesthetics of a collage influence its
subsequent interpretation, both by the artist/maker through reflection and also by the
viewer. Can visual dissonance also be an integral part of that aesthetic and might one
remain unperturbed by this, seeing only the metaphor it contains? I shall continue to
investigate this during my Ph.D.
Once I had completed the collage, I wrote in my sketchbook, alongside the image on the
16 February:
This work has surprised me in that I began it flat and it became something else; it
became itself. (Figure 10)
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The way a collage is created has great significance at all stages of the process, either
through the slow, rhythmic act of making where the hand and mind flow in harmony or
when the light shed on inner thought by the rapid decision of selecting a ready-made
image from the media, gives a sense of directional urgency; both offer valuable
perspectives on thinking. I created a collage the week of my 60th birthday; curious to see
how I felt about reaching this culturally significant age (Figure 11). The suppressed
emotion that seemed to erupt from the page surprised me. Collage’s spontaneity, its
immediacy, can be a strength or a stumbling block, particularly when what appears is
unexpected.
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It had been my intention to integrate poetry into the collage as it neared completion,
imagining that this would emphasize what the visual image might lack in meaning, but as
the collage progressed, I found that this was impossible. When I tried to write some text,
my mind remained silent; perhaps there is such a powerful finality with any carefully
chosen words, like a rubber stamp or a full stop, cutting short any further analysis, which
would have shattered the reassuring ambiguity of the collage itself. I wanted to leave
things unsaid, unfinished, unresolved at this point. I did not want that tangible reality of
certainty, of saying ’this is what it means’. We are all too often seduced by literal truth.
Maybe I was unsure of what it was I seemed to be trying to say, or what understanding
the collage conveyed to me, the artist, or possibly I was uncomfortable what the image
revealed, but at this point, I recognized that more time was needed for reflection as the
collage process seemed to have unexpectedly touched a nerve; the unconscious made
real.
It is only through doing, through making, that these inner thoughts reveal themselves. As
part of the methodology, I had carefully written in my sketchbook and journal, the
collage process, my reasons for working with certain images and the subsequent marks
on the paper and I finally did decide to include some single words, but only as a subtle
reminder to myself of the collage’s intended meaning rather than as a signpost for the
viewer. It felt comfortable doing that, but no more than just an occasional word, very
carefully placed within the collage. Claxton when writing on intuition, speaks of what
Ted Hughes called the ‘glimmer’ (Claxton 2006). I recognized this in my hesitancy in
defining the collage with a poem, completing the sentence, closing the frame, perhaps
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suggesting that there is a very subtle but crucial inter-connection between the aesthetic
and the intuitive act in creativity process (Figure 12).
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[Figure 12 60th birthday detail]
I wrote in my sketchbook, as I created this most recent collage in late March 2013:
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the fragile balance between roles and self becomes very taut at times, like
now.[…] I felt I needed to return to the doll image, it’s very meaningful for me.
Malleable, soft, resistant.
It looks so sparse yet it took over six hours to create; slow making and thinking. There is
something very significant in the doll’s head. I sensed that it (the head) will play an
important role in my work (Figure 13 and Figure 14).
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[Figure 14 Heads detail inverted]
Collage acts as a personal guide in reflexivity or as a means of initiating dialogue with
participants (Butler-Kisber 2010). This approach of ‘initiating dialogue’ is familiar in art
therapy, education and in qualitative research through the use of photographs, images, art,
poetry, music and performance. Its capacity to reach out by using many voices, some
strident, some mere whispers, allows new sounds to emerge, thereby creating possible
resonance between many or just a few. It has been observed that using collage in a
participatory location is seldom straightforward: great care and sensitivity need to be
exercised, time spent beforehand ‘setting the scene’, defining the context and aims,
making it accessible for all concerned, establishing empathy and a location of trust.
However, at this point in the narrative, I have found that working on collage alone and in
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silence, is effective for eliciting buried, hidden or suppressed thought and enhances
reflexivity.
As I worked on the collage, I wrote in my journal:
the collage only reveals so much. It’s only when I work on the images that new
insights are revealed. […] It’s necessary (for me) to not only create the collage
but to then respond to it ‘onscreen’. If I did it on the collage itself, it would
become ‘picture making’ – [I] can’t do that. I feel this is important somehow – for
me. (Figure 15)
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This way ideas evolve visually, through digital manipulation of photographs from an
existing collage, has become integral in my use of collage as a way of thinking through
making. If the process offers insights into states of being, then it is a valid method of
enquiry. Not every collage develops in this way, it is rather like finding a small key to a
hidden room, that twinge of recognition when working on-screen. B. Collins (2012: n.p.)
defines text in the way I define collage:
this understanding, that a poem is less a perfect object and more a process, which
continues even after it is ‘finished’ – enriched by becoming an object (poem),
whilst remaining restless and incomplete. (Collins 2012)
T. P. Brockelman (2001) suggests that collage demands an inter-textual approach, one
which creates an intriguing interstice between the signifiers and the possible realities they
portray. It is deep within this dark space that collage’s potential as a mode of qualitative
enquiry into visual thinking might be further investigated. Perhaps the fundamental
validity of collage within arts-based research is that the aim and outcome of the research
process, in all its manifestations, is not to reach consensus on a single ‘correct’ model of
research (Douglas et al. 2000), but to allow for discourse and dissemination.
Reflection
When delving into collage, it is worth remembering what Pelias (2004: 9) said; ‘the
alchemy that separates the head from the heart finds no gold’.
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Time and place
If this initial exploration of lived experience is to move beyond something that Jung
called, ‘subjective confession’ (Storr 1998) then it needs to be viewed within a wider
context; one requiring a situated artist/researcher, where the creator is placed in a
particular moment, a location and within a fluid identity, not limited by a fixed sense of
self. Collage may only represent subjective thought at a very particular moment but the
timing of that moment by the artist is meaningful; it reflects the juxtaposition of
individual ideas, realms of thought, texts, images and other creative works, and the
conversations that develop between them (Vaughan 2005). This further emphasizes the
fundamental value of thinking through making, of reflecting on the creation of the collage
at all stages over a significant period of time, allowing for multiple interpretations, rather
like blurred realities merging into one whole possible entity.
Reading the collage
Collage is a map with multiple ways of reading, depending on the frame of reference. It
holds secrets close to its surface and offers safety in a place of detachment by giving a
breathing space, one where it is easy to linger, pondering possibilities. It offers a chance
for reinterpreting and reprocessing our past, present and future. But it is seldom a
therapeutic or cathartic process as raw emotion surfaces, demanding attention and action.
For the maker, the inherent difficulties in differentiating what is artwork, documentation
and research process increase but then finally blur over time as meaning evolves. But it
should be stressed that the aesthetic and intuitive roles played in the making of the
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collage need thoughtful consideration: it is far easier to create a pleasing ‘picture’ rather
than an unsettling visual response full of dissonance; they inter-connect by being inter-
dependent. Collage attempts to elicit inner thought while artwork conveys the artist’s
meaning. This article suggests at this point that, within an evolving narrative, perhaps
collage can only ever represent an insight at a given moment, nothing remains still for
long.
Timing and documentation
Collage is a bridge between theory and artwork. It can seem like a way of temporarily
stopping time by pinning thoughts to the paper, capturing a moment. These visual
thoughts can also be repositioned. However, when left for too long, the sense of
disengagement can be so great that the original intention and context are forgotten, but
this again may not be a disadvantage; it depends on how the insight is then used. I often
have the sense in collage that I am creating something for the last time; it is a moment
that will not come again. Therefore, the need for good and multiple modes of
documentation is essential if the advantages of the process are to be realized and acted
upon. The making, photographing and subsequent digital manipulation of collage as a
method of visual thinking, will lead me finally to the artwork itself.
In creativity, we need to be able to exist ‘in many minds’ (Claxton 2006) at the same
time, moving fluidly between them, allowing our minds to flow. Perhaps it is more about
impartiality, balancing the two; intuition and the aesthetic and listening to the silence
while working with, ‘altered states of consciousness’ – towards greater understanding
36
(Claxton 2006). Clear vision is not always possible when inside looking out. It is only
when one steps outside oneself that other possibilities surface.
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Appendix
All images within this text have been created by the author as part of the ongoing
research.
Suggested Citation
Bell, A. F. (2013), ‘Collage as subjective experience: Transitioning, relinquishing,
becoming’, Journal of Writing in Creative Practice 6: 2, pp. 213–240, doi:
10.1386/jwcp.6.2.213_1
Contributor details
Alison F Bell is currently undertaking a practice based Ph.D. at the University of the
West of Scotland. This article will form part of her doctoral thesis entitled ‘Transition,
identity and gender: An auto-ethnographic study through creative practice’.
Contact: Alison F Bell, School of Cultural and Creative Industries, University of the
West of Scotland, Ayr Campus, University Avenue, Ayr, KA8 0SX