Catholic Womens Network 877 Spinosa Drive Sunnyvale CA 94087 408 2458663 FAX 4087382767 cwncathholicwomensnetorg

etworlc Non-Prof it Org

US Postage PAID

Permit No 553 Sunnyvale CA

for W o m e n s 3plrituaCitpound Issue No 79 A non-profit educational publication since 1988 JuneJulyAugust 2002

gt 1

i l l mri wreg

~~V Mothers are powerful indeed If you open a newspaper or flip through a parenting magazine yon will find that Americanmothers areresponsible for welfare child poverty latchkey kids violence riots and even terrorism Employed or not rich or poor educated or uneducated todays mother 1$ given the lions share of blame for problems she couldnt have possibly caused alone

bullbullbull In her hook Motherg nilt psvcho- gt

logist Diane Ever points out titst ^baby guriis bull

who are suppose to be a mothers friend lay the guilt or

bull-fn^iMU rei bull childrei terroris

doing tl

judges I

divorce badraa a hostile

tactic tio their ch Ankrtte

liplitl The bta restricti

mother) attachrrj virtually their ow thirds oi

gtlogist T Berry Brazelton -at wumanamp rnosHmport^ g to mother Iher small child-Moyers that without this -delinquents and eventually

g their ehiIdL

Ion work are h ildren $ problems kg the early months society so much that s to employed mothers tg mothers ifamp$yare bullsyches H they Stay in a seunig their chiiNtreiri from

Blimmtipri by Jeri Becker

SlMdiamp l it - |-$ _hi soEifeAjh te^ ^ fb ti gar iite rAi st igtpound t aBO-b f hut they remain the dollar signs in divorced families where they are of ten estranged Irottt their children Today working mothers account for two-thirds of the family income with one-third ormothers eiarnnTg more than the fathers

Th e evolution of mothering do wn th rough time bear s It trie resemblance to the child-centered mothering practices of today pTiat has remained consisshytent is the fact thai mothers carry a double load and their successful mothering amp dependent on a culture of support hot ^society that fosters guilt

regi - - sect |^ i^ will enlighten sadden and broaden your understanding of the warys societies form mothers See inside pages i-

Coming CWN Program

Zen and the Heart of Jesus

Sa t J u l y 2 7 - 915 -12 noon in Cupertino

led by

Phyllis Df Anna SNDdeN

More information on page 20

r

^

Inside

2 Inside Network 3 Outside Network

Wholly Mother Church 4 The mandate to speak up

Secret sin or public crime Amazing Grace

5 Reel Spirituality Serendipity In My Life

6 PrayerRitual Cosmic Tree of Life

7 Ob-gyn observes mothering in world Reduceeliminate menstruation

8 MOMS offers support for mothers 9 Nurture Mother Natures Way

Facts about infanticide

10-11 12

13 14 15 16 17

18 19

20

Evolution of Mothering Sacred pampering to nourish self Ritual Connect with mentors and mothers In My Life Nurture in prison The psych unit Hand prints and The circle of life Justice Issues In My Life Garden Wisdom Menopause naturally In My Life On the Shelf The Nurturer Readers Photo Reflection Calendar Links and more CWN programs subscription form

And cartoons and great ads all throughout

_ _ I 1 e 2 (Network for Womens Spirituality flunefluifAugust 2002

inside ^ t w o r l c Apparently a fair number ofourforemothers spent time in planning their funeral as they planned for the delivery ofa child

My birth story as I remember i t is that my mom labored in her small house in Portland OR for a couple days for the birth ofher third daughter A doctor and intern would drop in and out checking on her long labor After I finally arrived three weeks late I weighed in on the primitive home scale at eleven and one-half pounds

I often think of my moms hard work to give birth to me especially after I experishyenced giving birth to my own first children

But I never spent much time reflecting on how my grandmother gave birth to my mom her tenth child a few months after coming off an immigrant boat to live in a floorless farm cabin near Edmonton Alberta Canada

And I never gave thought to what transhyspired when my great-grandmother breathed through her contractions in a small village somewhere in Poland to give life to my grandmother

As I began research on writing this issue on mothering and nurturing I came across the book the Myths of Motherhood which jolted me out of my own child-led mothershying life and into the dark mysteries ofthe history of mothering

It sounds depressing some members of the board said Its really depressing a daughter echoed

We hear much of traditional family values from current political leaders Colshyumnist John Rosemond urges a return to the good old days of mothering Dr Laura hammers into her listeners that mothers must give up everything for childrenmdash college jobs days off and time outsmdashuntil the child leaves home

I played that game Like the mother bear I ferociously guarded my young cubs I got my housework done in the first hourof each day so I could play and teach the children

(So it was a tiny duplex on a military base and there wasnt much to clean) I concenshytrated on teaching the last six children to read before first grade since I had been gullible enough to leave that task to the public school for the first one

I volunteered in the school to hawkishly watch what those teachers were doing to my precious geniuses It wasnt until number seven came along that I put a child in pre-school and went to work part time There was more to life than mothering and at age 401 was getting a late start

Our ancestors had other things to worry about besides teaching their kids to swim how to shoot a basketball or play the guitar It seems that kids were farmed out as apprentices as early as age 6 because in the past for most of the world children were viewed as a means of family income (not expenditures)

Apparently a fair number of our foremothers spent time in planning their funeral as they planned for the delivery of a child Maternal death was common Birth control andabortion were attempted

in various cultures but unwanted children (most often girls) were simply abandoned and left to die Quite often it was the father s role in patriarchal families to do the dirty deed of selecting and deserting the newborn In some cases the moms buried the infants alive It was birth control at its worst

We should simply watch the animal world to observe how mothering should work is a common belief And anthropoloshygist SarahBlafferHrdy in her book Mother Nature breaks open the myth that animals always do the loving and compassionate care of offspring Often mother birds just sit by as the firstborn consumes the later

^(gtworfc for Womens Sp^tt--^ Published in March June September and December by the Catholic Womens

Network of Santa Clara County 877 Spinosa Drive Sunnyvale C A 94087 4082458663 FAX 4087382767 e-mail cwnWcatholicwomensnetorg wwwcatholicwomensnetorg

CWN is a non-profit educational organization and tax-exempt charity Netshywork is copyrighted and may not be reproduced without permission from the publisher Views expressed or reported by writers or lecturers are not necessarily the views of the publisher EditorPhotographer Arlene Goetze Artists Jeri Becker Carrie McClish Charlotte Attebery JoAnne Arnold Proofreader Rosalee Clarke Board of Directors Mary Anne Ravizza President Kate Brophy Veronica Dostal Arlene Goetze Mary Elaine McEnery Gerry Roy Julianne Simone Maleada Strange SNJM Suzanne Young

Advertising information NETWORK is published in March June September and December in the

amount of 9000 copies Distribution is free in parishes retreat centers public libraries and by paid subcription in the mail Copies go to every state

Advertising is available at the rate of $12 per column inch (23 inches wide) S1050 per inch discount for 3 or more ads per year

Sample sizes 1 col x 2 in = $24 2 col x 2 in = $48 2 col x 3 in = $72 2 col x 4 in = $96

Copy Deadline May 5th for June August 5 for Sept etc Enclosed is check for $ for my ad columns by inches

Please run each issue and bill me Enclosed is business card or ad copy (we will typeset)

Name Phone

BusinessGroup

Address

City _Zip_

Signed

E-mail

Title

born in a nest If we dont examine the past depressing

as it might seem then how do we gain perspective on what motheringnurturing should be today Women have always worked and children were toted on their backs or cared for by a supportive commushynity

People usually lived in groups and exshytended families until the last few centuries when industrialization moved the young parents away from families and into the nuclear form of apartments or single famshyily homes The crib was invented to keep women from overlaying their children (and smothering them)

Isolation set in for mothers who continshyued long hours of work besides tending the children And with it came depression and isolation that many contemporary mothers experience

I gave birth to seven children in the supportive community of military lifemdashon military bases where we were all young families ready and willing to help each other in very nurturing ways

When our twins were born I traveled 100 miles to the plastic surgeon frequently for the son who needed 10 such operations Our four other children including a breastfeeding twin were always well cared for by the neighbors

In subsequent civilian neighbors I found that many neighbors didn t know the names of people next door and that is true of my neighborhood today

Womans role in giving and nurturing life has never been an easy road particushylarly for our ancestors Learning about the skeletons-in-the-closet of motherhood shifted my perspective on working women and broadened my appreciation for the fact that any of us are alive today to tell our tales

Arlene Goetze

Write

To the Editor Wow Issue No 78 on Fear Not really

helped me and my friends I received this issue from the Religious Education coordishynator in my parish because I teach RCIA I briefly scanned the articles making copies of parts I know will help my friends

I just helped a friend get over an atshytempted rape fear My husband is in the military and I am always afraid he will be sent overseas My mother will love the article on Harry Potter My boss is using an article as homework for a college course she is taking I am next going to e-mail as many women

as I can and let them know how wonderful I feel after reading your issue Thank you so much for publishing it

Erika Mt View CA

We love your letters Send along your views to CWN

CWN board changes

Sue Mallory one ofthe members ofthe founding board of Catholic Womens Netshywork in 1989 and treasurer for several terms has resigned and will be leaving the board As an income tax specialist Sue has helped guide CWN which has never opershyated in the red and is on a secure financial foundation

Veronica Dostal a personal financial coach with many years experience in corshyporate business has joined the board and will serve as treasurer

dreaders (Photo (Inflection

Mail to Catholic Womens Network 877 Spinosa Dr Sunnyvale CA 94087

Questions Call 4082458663 E-mail cwnac at hoi icwomensnetorg

We invite you to meditate on this photo and write a short reflection about it Word limit is 60 words or 15 lines

CWN will give a free first-class subscription if published Send to CWN by July 25 Ifyou wish your entry returned please enclose a stamped self-addressed envelope

gunegufyApgust 2002 lttfetworc for (Women fs Spirituality ffflfle 5

0 _ _ _ _ lt]tworrC You should never fear to approach anyone above all men with authority

Margaret Traxler SSND

Margaret Traxler dies She was both the Rock of Gibraltar and

a shoulder you could cry on Margaret Traxler SSND who died irt-February was as powerful a force for social justice and church reform as anyone in the 20thcentury Margaret marched for civil rights in Selma in thel 960s and again in St Peters Square during a synod of bishops in the 1990s At that protest she carried a large banner which read They are meeting about usmdash and without us

Margaret was founder ofthe Institute for Women Today a Christian-Jewish-Protesshytant coalition to reach out to troubled women She organized skilled workers and lawyers to travel to womens prisons in Illinois to provide training and advice She visited the prisons often taking sewing machines so the women could make clothes for their children

She opened Sister House on Chicagos west side to aid women coming out of prison She established Maria Shelter for abused women and children and Casa Notre Dame for older homeless women And she funded these projects by speaking regushylarly and without embarrassment at churches and synagogues

Her spunk and powerful sayings were recalled at her memorial service I feel that if youre a woman you must fight for women and You should never fear to approach anyone above all men with aushythority

S yReprinted from Call To Actions News Vol 24 1 April 2002

Connect with Voice of Faithful Voice ofthe Faithful started as a weekly

discussion at St John Parish in Wellesley MA and has now grown to a movement of thousands of persons connecting in pershysons and via e-mail Purpose ofVOTF is to respond to the way the clergychild sexual abuse has been handled in the Boston Archshydiocese under Cardinal Bernard Law

Goals of the group are to provide a prayerful voice so the Faithful can particishypate in the governance of the Catholic church Its goals include support of vicshytims of abuse support for priests of integshyrity andeffortsto shape institutional change in the church By early May some 2550 people connected with the group via e-mail and more than 13000 Catholics visshyited the website to examine over 140000 pages of information posted

Parishes in other parts of the country are invited to form similar dialogue groups For information on parish organization visit wwwvoiceofthefaithfulorg or send e-

mail to Terry McKiernan at mc_emanlffllattbicom

A summer meeting will be held on July 20 at the Hynes Convention Center in Boston for 5000 persons Out-of-towners are invited to stay with local families Tickets are $20 Go to http wwwVOTForg for more information or call Paul Baier at 17819105467 VOTF 77 River Ridge Wellesley MA 02481

From e-mail press release from Paul Baier VOTF April 2002

War scandal rally Some 75000 persons went to Washingshy

ton DC April 20 to take part in antiwar protests to focus attention on the US bishshyops approval ofthe war on terrorism but it was overshadowed by the sex scandal

The sex abuse scandals have a relationshyship to the churches blessing ofthe war in Afghanistan said Jesuit Fr John Dear a rally organizer He said that as long as the church accepts the just war theory and blesses the bombing of Afghanistan you are going to have all kinds of aberrations

The bishops supported the bombing of children in Afghanistanmdashthey blessed it~ which is massive child abuse Until the church rejects war and violence it will never move toward reforms or healng or ending the scandal The church has got to embrace complete nonviolence said Dear

Forty celebrities turned down invitations to speak at the rally Strong opposition to Israeli attacks on Palestinians were also part of the agenda whick kept Hollywood folks away NCR 5302

Celibacys history Celibacy in the Catholic church is not

about sex its about money In Jewish tradition priests were the sons of priestsmdash it was a local family firm Jesus had no trouble with married menmdashhe chose his apostles from this state in life He did not choose any of those living celibate lives among the desert-dwelling Essenes Even St Paul did not argue for unmarried men He specified that bishops elders and deashycons be the husband of one wife Until the third century bishops had more than one wife

But Christianity was getting prospershyous Bishops and priests were getting wealthier They had concubines as well as wives and passing along their fortunes to children became a concern By the T 1th century five popes said Enough Along came tough Gregory VII and told married priests they couldnt say Mass

Wholly Mother Church Joanne ArnoldA Goetze

Looks like a near-fatal dose of patriarchy to me

Soon there were few Masses The edict was softened and blame was placed on the women Concubines were scourged and handing down money to the sons of the clergy was out

It was the concubine scandal and money that was the issue not marriage In the 15th century two proposals were introshyduced to allow clerical marriage again but they were fought back by ultra-orthodox church leaders They started to teach that celibacy was built in at the beginning

The same Gregory VII declared himself supreme power over all souls including clergy and in the 19th century this power was transformed into infallibility the ultishymate big stick

From Celibacys History of Power and Money by Arthur Jones National Cathohc Reporter 4122002 His email is ajones96aoL com

Sisters SS reduced Payments to 20 School Sisters of St

Francis living in Bellevue PA were cut seven years ago because the Social Security Administration said they are members ofa religious community and have made a vow of poverty

Therefore it is up to their community to support them The sisters are now going to federal court to overturn the decision

Sr Mary Traupman lawyer for the sisshyters said Theyre citizens theyre sick theyre old and theyre poor She believes that each sister is owed $15000

Twice before a judge has ruled in their favor but the Social Security Appeals Counshycil did not follow the recommendation by the jlidge NCR Mar 15 2002

Ultrasound machines seized Church groups in India have welcomed a

Supreme Court order to confiscate ultrashysound machines from illegal clinics to fight female feticide in the country The Protesshytant Joint Womens Program welcomed the order as a way to fight growing female feticide It is believed that eliminating the machines will slow the serious imbalance in the countrys male-female ratio

The 2001 census shows there are 933 girls born to every 1000 boys A 1994 Supreme Court order sought to have clinics register with state governments as a way of regulating use ofthe machines However hundreds of illegal medical centers continshyued to conduct sex determination tests and abortions NCR 4802

Women to be ordained in Austria Twelve Catholic women in Austria have

completed a three-year course for the priestshyhood It was developed by members of We Are Church Austria Interviewed on prime-time television the candidates said an inshydependent commission of theologians from Germany had examined them and found them qualified to be priests and they are now planning an ordination

An unconfirmed report says the ordainshying bishop is Peter Hickman of the Old Catholic Church from southern California the same bishop who ordained Mary Ramerman a priest in Rochester NY last November

ChurchWatch FebMarch 2002

Unless otherwise credited the above have been reprinted with permission from March April issues of National Cathotic Reporter PO Box 419281 Kansas City MO 64141 18003337373

oSIsters of the Presentation o v

yyomen of passion and imagination empowering the poor

oin us in serving God s people through education social and pastoral ministries

For information please contact

Sis ter M o n i c a Mi l le r P B V M V o c a t i o n D i r e c t o r

2340 Turk Boulevard San Francisco CA 94118 4157510406 e-mail mn_lerpbvnisforg

f RELAX WITH GOD bull Minister to Yourself

Mid life Sabbatical in the San Francisco Bay Area

I n t e g r a t e theold^Jphqtoality ministry

DCCpCfl yfaumoumeyvith God

N U ITU feuro^ peionl1 development

f^MtFT SCHOOL OFtAPPUED THEOLOGY m^^ampltHGrtffllraleTHMlogical Urfrarfll

2400 Ridge l oad B e r k e l e y ^ ^ ^ ^ f e

Four Months FallSpring or Nine Months Audit Credit or MA

RoomBoard available on site Partial Scholarships

510-652-1651 bull 800-831-0555 satgtuaolcom bull wwwsatgtuorg

Serving laity clergy and religious since 1960

poundgtage 4 Qfetwork for (Womens Spirituality ltJuneltJufysugust 2002

Cottttnentary

The mandate to speak up By Arlene Goetze

On May 13a victim of clergy sexual abuse took matters into his own hands A 26-year-old man shot and wounded a priest in Baltimore Md who he claims abused him This victim like millions ofthe rest of us Catholics has sat stonelike in disbelief or raging with inner fury at the cardinals and bishops in our church who have covered up sexual abuse crimes for decades

We have gasped and groaned as we watch cardinals and bishops act above beyond and below the lawmdashnot just civil law but moral law We have been puzzled at the restraint of law enforcement all around the nation to actually arrest many of the clergy predators

It was no surprise that little happened when our dozen American cardinals flew off to Rome at the Popes beckoning It was indeed a tightening ofthe ole boys circle that maintains sinister skeletons in the closet of Catholic patriarchy Even the cardinals who told American media they would push issues against their brother cardinals guilty of cover-ups were mute on the issue Are they all guilty

But why are district attorneys who readily grab the predators in Little League or imaginary offenders in day care centers so reluctant to handcuff high-ranking clergy who have facilitated child abuse crimes

In fifth century Athens it was common practice at least among the upper income for men to indulge in sexual activities with boys Homosexuality was common and what we call sexual abuse of children today was then an accepted part of teaching young boys how to be men

Some 1500 years later in modern day and supposedly-enlightened America a similar mentality seems to exist in those men in control ofthe Catholic Church For more than the past 40 years it has been business as usual for sexually-perverse priests to indulge in abuse of young girls aswell as boys and for bishops in charge to blink at the criminal activity and shuffle the offending priests around

And it has been a time of taped mouths for other clergy who knew what was occurring behind closed doors and in summer camps where priests played with boys It has been silence for parents who did complain and received diocesan settlements to zip their lips It has been look-the-other-way time for teachers parents and church employees who heard rumors about Father so-and-so and passed on the stories that he was taking a needed rest in New Mexico and wherever else those sexual treatment programs existed And most did nothing

For those who knew and spoke up or persistently tried to get the offending clergy out of parish ministry it was brick walls insults and disbelief It seemed futile to even try

And now the media those sensation-hungry reporters who often go overboard on crime have finally settled on this child abuse scandal as a priority for news Halleluia Whoever thought the secular media could bring attention in a few weeks to the gross injustice in the administration ofthe church that church reform groups have been trying to do for years

The hierarchy is now learning (we hope) what is on the minds of Catholics via the secular media rather than in discussion groups in parishes or Letters columns in the diocesan press Some Cardinals are confronted with picketing and hostile parishioners demanding their resignation They may listen but do they hear

Now we have the jolting lesson that one young man may be tired ofthe turtle pace of both church and civil authorities to deal with this current scandal

But it is also a welcome jolt for the folk in the pew to realize that they now have media openings to speak up and be heard actually heard and by the whole world This is not an invitation to action it is a mandate Write a letter to your bishop telling him to change the church structure and allow lay leadership to co-lead Put your money where you mind is Put a note in the Sunday collection rather than a donation calling for a change in policies Send your money to Catholic Charities (whose budget is not controlled by the bishops) or church reform groups And write to your county and state District Attorneys urging them to prosecute clergy the same as all other citizens (Let them know youre Catholic since many fear losing the Catholic vote) And dont forget to write Letters to the Editor and email journalists urging them to keep this issue alive in a way that ordinary Catholics never could

HERES HELP FOR THE JOURNEY

Every issue of the inter faith journal SACRED JOURNEY brings you the wisdom of companions on the spiritual path Some are well known authorsmdash loan Borysenko Harvey Cox and Rachel Naomi Remen All are everyday seekers who share the illuminations and practices -hat have helped them find joy and a deeper sense of meaning

SACRED JOURNEY b itself a prayer It is a delight to see universal spritual wisdom conveyed in such a beautiful gentle way

mdash Larry Dossey MD Author of Recovering the Soul and Beyond Illness

SEND FOR A FREE SAMPLE COPY v isit us at wwwsa-redjoumeyorg email editorialsacredjourneyorg send your name and address to

291 Witherspoon St Princeton NJ 08542

phone (609) 924-6863 fax (609) 924-6910

Women and the Law

Mother Church Secret Sin and Public Crime

bv Eloise Rosenblatt RSM PhD

The parish where I attend liturgy is bravely dealing with a scandal over the disclosure that an admired priest who was on staff in the 1970s fondled and sexually abused a score of boys Its hard to believe unless you or your child were a victim

The newspaper mentioned how hard it was after so many years for parishioners to acknowledge that the now- deceased priest beloved and respected could have been guilty of such acts Just as difficult to shed is the conditioning created by a church culture of treating sexual misconduct as a sin instead of as a crime

One son abused when he was a pre-teen finally told his mother when he was 19 He made her promise not to tell anyone even other members ofthe family For the next 20 years Mom kept her sons abuse a secret What belief system and emotions kept both son and mother in victim-bondage for three decades

This woman is hopefully seeing a deep shift in womens belief-system Societys norms about how to name crimes and treat criminals now empower her to assert her childrens rights over the privileges assoshyciated with priesthood and the greater good of the church Years ago she did what most loving mothers might domdash honor her sons request for confidentiality But if she had believed then that her sons

abuse was fundamentally a crime not just a sin would she have kept silent

If it had been a neighbor and not Fashyther would she have reported him If her son had been physically assaulted and left with broken bones would she have kept the secret of what happened to him and who beat him up

If she had known that crimes like sexual abuse are prosecuted by the district attorshyney as advocate for the people would she have encouraged her adult son to come forward

What if she knew the case would not be My Son vs Reverend Father Bishop and Catholic Church but People vs Father X Does keeping the secret about priests sexual abuse accomplish a greater good for children than demanding accountability and redress from the perpetrator Catholic-educated district attorneys once cowed by reverence toward priests have also had a change of perspective Sexual abuse is first a crime against society no matter who the perpetrator is D As have issued subpoenas for diocesan personnel records Standard policy was to keep subshystantiated accusations of sexual misconshyduct quiet as though the acts were sins protected by the seal ofthe confessional

Bishops sent offending priests for treat-

Sexual abuse of minors by priests is not just a sin that can be forgiven It is a crime against the people ment as though a firm purpose of amendshyment would heal them They transferred them to new parishes didnt disclose their history and gave them a fresh start as though the offenders had received the grace of forgiveness

They closeted the voices of victims by confidential settlements as though once bishops heard the sins and prescribed a penance the event was over

Diocesan lawyers were complicit in susshytaining a culture which treated sexual abuse as a sin They were also collaborators in shielding the church from accountability to society for priests sins

Lawyers used (and still use) the defense that the First Amendment prevents the state from entangling itself in the churchs internal governance structure Because of free exercise of religion the state cant interfere with bishops discipline of their own ministers Distinctions between sin and crime get blurred in such a culture

When John Paul II called American churchmen to a summit meeting in Rome his address to Cardinals acknowledged that sexual abuse was a grave sin which society rightly condemned as a crime

The bifurcation will not correct bishops willingness to forgive priests who have sex with girls who are under sixteen Sexual abuse of minors by priests is not just a sin that can be forgiven It is a crime against the people

Closer consultation between district atshytorneys and bishops might begin to clear up the moral confusion about whether its a sin to forgive or a crime to prosecute Secret sins against individual women are also violations against the people and should be treated as public crimes by Mother Church statutory rape incest and domesshytic violence

When women of faith shed their code of secrecy about these crimes against them and their children they enable change in the churchs culture

Mothers werent invited to the summit meeting in Rome but this doesnt keep them from talking up a new culture to the leaders of Mother Church now

Eloise Rosenblatt RSM PhD is a former university professor scripture scholar now in law school You can contact her at erosenll2l(a)cscom

Amazing Grace Charlotte Attebery A Goetze

This is the grace of resignation and the wisdom to use it

flunetfufysjufust 2002 Qjetwork for Womens Spirituality gdegH5

poundMecfta

Reel Spirituality

Animation appeal by Carol Reber Murphy

$842 billion Thats the total amount Americans shelled out for movie rentals last year Along with the $838 billion we spend at the box office Americans invest a fortune for a rewarding couple of hours escape from daily trials and tribulation

Scanning current top-ten lists of DVDs videos and films for signs of intelligent life I am intrigued by a pair of movies primarily designed for children Ice Age and Return to Neverland the latter availshyable on videocassette

Both animated features hits with my second grade class have an equal appeal to todays adult audience as the generations struggle to cope with war and encroaching terrorism Their life-affirming story lines develop in the face of threatening immishynent extinction the massing of glaciers 20000 years ago and the 1940s Nazi invashysion of England respectively

Ice Age belongs to the new genre of computer-generated animation relying heavily on star-studded characterization to avoid sterility Blue Sky Studios and 20th

Century Fox have filled the bill voice-casting Ray Romano as sadsack Manfred the Mammoth John Leguizamo as chatterbox Sid the Sloth and Denis Leary as Diego lackey for his butchering saber-toothed tiger pack

Against the backdrop of their impending destruction by global icing this odd threeshysome returns a baby boy through many perils to the safety of his fathers arms

Remarkably the three misfits and their young human charge jell into a new kind of herd with bonds that cross distincshytions between species and predatorprey Mirroring a scene from the Apocalypse this image emerges on a glacier field of the Great Migration the lion lies down with the lamb

In time of growing adversity values of interdependence over independence trishyumph Struggling for survival the mashyligned Diego lays down his life for a friend

(Humor

Both animated features appeal to todays adult audishyence as the generations struggle to cope with war and encroaching terrorism

albeit the human child of his enemies With droll wit that plays both to parents love of wordplay and to primary schoolers preference for bathroom shucks Ice Age is cool

Not to be left behind in the increasing level of cartoon sophistication Disney has opened a new chapter in its saga of Peter Pan with Return to Neverland

The action returns to Wendys London home 20 years after her last encounter with Peter Her preadolescent daughter Jane has taken on the persona ofa heroic oldest sibling to cope with World War Hs affliction upon a city under siege

Her father away at war^ane abandons childhood in order to be strong for her mother and brother Only after Captain Hook kidnaps her when faith and hope become key to her return to family does Wendys daughter appreciate her mothers beliefs and optimism

Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz Jane comes to know that Theres no place like home -even in a war zone if one has faith hope and charity Bravely Wendys daughshyter learns that the fairy dust of faith and hope is real because it is grounded in self-sacrificing love

Two cartoons painted against a sky gray with gathering clouds of doom Both give new voice through adventure and humor to an old message right for today Greater love has no one (tiger or waif) than to lay down ones life for a friend

Carol Reber Murphy teaches school and is a community activist in San Jose

Mampcjifi Reel life healing

Recently I took in the beautifully crafted Indian movie Monsoon Wedding Took in is an apt expression

This familys private interactions and formal and informal rituals of song dance and ceremony churned up my innards especially when the films plot swerved into a confrontation between the ever-generous uncle and the daughter of the brides fathers deceased brother over her charges that the uncle had molested her as a child and was intending to prey on the brides younger sister

Weeping with the anguished father as he comforted and returned the fled niece to the family fold I was shaken by the realizashytion that none of my family myself inshycluded had ministered so lovingly to the wound of alienation that molestation creshyates as this father did

Next gathered in preparation for the ancient wedding blessing I trembled with the father as he told the uncle to leave quietly then forcefully when the uncles wife protested that it was a small thing

The fathers moral strength and courage in lifting the weight of his nieces suffering off her shoulders healed the family bond enabling them to enjoy the wedding

Afterwards I thanked God for the men who had bound up similar wounds of mine

thanked God for the men who had bound up Similar wounds of mine

supported my healing and furnished me with male images of nurturance and susteshynance Bernard Kempler who modeled the novel

idea that my then husband cease verbally abusing me and Dick Riordan who mentored my psychologist mind and heart Terry Young who shepherded and tended

me in his priestiy flock and Stephen Barr whose spiritual connections and acupuncshyturist work undid my fear and opened the way pill

Ken Hughes whose Rosen Method touch not only softened my somatic deshyfenses but my resistance to learning Rosen myself and David Harley who ended my own self-abusive behavior with compasshysion and skill and sustained my arduous journey to self-acceptance

My husband who despite his supposed inadequacies in and misgivings about soul-spirit work has unceasingly cared for me body and soul and supported my spiritual quest

Jackie Magner Greedy Carson Citv NV

Serendipity

A frivolous hat

by Rose Tillemans CSJ

On my 79th birthday I received an outshylandish serendipity hat made by my friend Alice Browne music therapist and creator of wonderful surprises

My new hat is a soft gray felt invention with a short visor and rather high crown Cloth pieces of matching gray extend over my ears and tie under my chin Small permanent roses are sewed in a jaunty arrangement around the crown

Among the flowers are strips of lace intertwining and adding a bit of pomp to the hat It has attracted attention when I ve worn it to work on the bus to church and to the store My new hat says to me dont fear to be foolish or to bring fun and laughter even unto old age and gray hairs (Thatsfrom the Psalms)

There is so much heaviness everywhere in the world so loosen up before you totally dissolve in all this grief and are no good to anyone at all says my hat to me from time to time

The first time I wore my serendipity hat on the bus a little girl sitting with her mother put her hand to her mouth and giggled Her mother looked at me with amusement and a bit of concern

When I wore my hat to the store I received compliments as I pushed my cart around At the end of my shopping I wheeled my vehicle to the cashier She told me that my groceries had been paid for by a woman in a purple coat She had left the building a minute ago I was astonished

Was it my hat I wondered If so thank you dear purple-coated friend

don ftfear to be foolish or to bring fun and laughter even unto old age and gray hairs

My serendipity hat in Catholic vocabushylary might be called a sacramental someshything which brings or is a blessing A therapist could note the importance of fim frolic and foolishness as a release of endorshyphins for a tension-racked patient

Those with puritanical tendencies might frown upon a woman of my age wearing a frivolous hat which draws attention to hershyself in a public place

God ofthe Outlandish Fun-Maker Deshyity Source of Serendipity hover over the bent world with warm breast and ah bright wings (adaptation ofa line from GM Hopkins Pied Beauty)

Rose Tillemans is founder of Peace House a day gathering place for poor and homeless people in inner-city Minneaposhylis She is a sister of St Joseph of Carondelet

Keeping the Vision Alive History ofthe Cleveland Womens Ordination Conference (CVVOC)

Memorieseventspictures - localglobal Womens Ordination Conference Detroit 1975 to

Womens Ordination Worldwide Dublin 2001 Contact CWOC 3562RadcliffeRdClevelandHtsOH44121 e-mail cwoc25rlaquo)yahoocom 4408854020

This is the passing-on of knowledge and wisdom that becomes our history Maureen Brett CWOC

75 pages (8 12X11) Spiral bound $15 plus $2 mailing

June 28-30 Single Adults Retreat Celebrating The Beauty Of Self Through Relationship Michelle LAllier OSF amp Barry Brunsman OFM

July 5-7 Recovery Retreat bull Spiritual Fitness Sr Breigeen Moore OSC (Sr B)

July 11 Professional Development for Nurses A Day With Florence Nightengale (6 CELTS offered for RNs amp LVNs) Terry Reed Miller RN MS HNC

July 12-14 A Retreat with Edwina Gateley Mysticism amp Our Contemporary Worid Edwina Gateley

July 20 The Healing Fife Transformation Through Menopause Ann Deriham MDiv amp Sandra Nelson MA

Aug 24 Embracing The Stranger Within Rev John Butcher amp Victoria MacDonald MA

Aug 10 SeparatedVDivofced Retreat Day Crossing The Red Sea Victoria S MacDonald MA

Aug 11 Day Of Dialogue For Lesbians Gays Their Friends amp Families Victoria S MacDonald MA

Aug 16-18 Womens Retreat amp Becoming The Woman

Aug 23-25 You Still Want To Be Ursula Caspary Frankel MFT

RETREATS amp CONFERENCES

Ottering 5 Conference Rooms

78 guest rooms with private bata

Hiking paths Meditation gardens

SAN DAMIANO RETREAT 2002

Widening the Circle A Spirituality d Inclustoa

PO BOX 767 DANVILLE CALIFORNIA 94526-0767

925raquo837raquoS141 Fax 925-837laquolaquo$22 wwwsairaquoi-niiaiioorg

SAN DAMIANO RETREAT

Ortage 6 Q^gtwork for Womens Spirituality ltJuneltJu(y^ugust 2002

(prater

Praying with Scripture

Pregnant with life by Carole Marie Kelly osf EdD

A friend sent me a package of marigold seeds the other day a delightful spring surprise As I read the directions for plantshying it struck mc that unless they endured being buried in the damp soil they could not come to life Their golden blossoms could only be formed in darkness

That made me start thinking of the poshytential of darkness and a stream of other images ran through my mind It is dark in

the womb where new life is nurtured and in the tomb that leads to eternal life

The green leaves on the tree outside my window have spent time enclosed in the branch and yeast must be kneaded into dough if it is to become bread Before water was transformed into wine at the wedding feast of Cana it was poured into the ob-

scure depths of stone jars I dont usually think of darkness as being

pregnant with life but it certainly is a prerequisite for birth and transformation Remember when referring to Baptism Jesus told Nicodemus that he could not see the kingdom of God unless he was born of water and the Spirit Nicodemus couldnt imagine how he could

be born again enter a second time into the mothers womb (John 3) Hearing only the literal meaning of Jesus words Nicodemus missed the whole point That is so easy to do because we are not used to symbolic language and the Gospels are full of it

Maybe we need to hold the symbols in the darkness of our hearts for a while if they are to come to life for us

Just as the package of marigold seeds triggered many thoughts in my mind so also images ofthe pearl of great price the mustard seed and the grain of wheat all reverberate with layers of meaning

For example because Im focusing on darkness now I notice that each of those symbols while illustrating a specific messhysage in the context in which Jesus used it

It is dark in the womb where new life is nurtured and in the tomb that leads to eternal life

also carries a note of darkness and transforshymation I even remember events in the Gospels that occurred in darkness

Do we have to pass through dark times in order to mature and come into newness of life

We can all remember times when we have felt like the grain of wheat tossed to the ground and abandoned or like the grain of sand that suddenly found itself sucked into the moist darkness of an oyster shell Left there not knowing what we had done to deserve this condition or if things would ever return to normal we felt alone and totally helpless

An unjust accusation can throw us into this state episodes of illness can pull us into a shell of suffering

Depression grief and worries can weigh heavily on our hearts Can it be that all of the physical emotional and spiritual exshyperiences that create darkness in our lives are actually drawing us into sacred conshytainers alchemical retorts in which mysshyterious forces of grace act to transfonn us and grant us new life Jesus said I came that they may have life and have it abundantly (John 1010)

During times like this it helps to reshymember the marigold The soil of suffershying in some inexplicable way can nourish us and bring us new life Several books have come out recently in which the author describes how a serious illness has been a gift in his life for example Michael Foxs Lucky Man

My marigold seeds will have to be pashytient while they are covered with dirt but if they reach toward the sun they will emerge with a startling beauty they would never have known was in them had they not spent time in the darkness

Carole Marie Kelly osf EdD lives a hermit life on the Central California coast Her latest book is A Handful of Fire Praying Contemplatively with Scripture 23rd Publications

Mercy Center Faces of Illumination An Introductory Icon Painting Workshopmdash

No prior art experience is necessary to paint these archetypal figures in quiet contemplation August 3 $100 plus $30 materials Christopher Castle

Listening to the Heart of God Womens Silent RetreatmdashAs the Beloved of God enter the heart of God with Jesus to love as God loves Come for silence ritual sharing and presentations August 23-29 $390 Marguerite Buchanan RSM and Suzanne Toolan RSM

Bede Griffiths Re-entering the Cave ofthe HeartmdashA mini-series to look at the life and wisdom of the late Dom Bede Griffiths Sessions in yoga meditation chant and ritual led by two of Bedes closest friends and students Asha and Russil Paul Oct 5-6 Nov 24 2002 Feb 22-23 March 232003

Spiritual Directors Institutemdash-Are you seriously exploring the ministry of spiritual direction Are you firmly grounded in your own faith tradition The first phase of a three year training program beginning Saturday September 7 Meets monthly Thursday evenings 500-900 pm Sept-May $550 Lorita Moffatt RSM

Spiritual ExercisesmdashA thirty week Ignatian retreat for those desiring a deeper experience of God in daily life Begins Sunday Sept 15 Then Mondays 700-900 pm or Tuesdays 1000 am-1230 pm $650 Lorita Moffatt RSM

CDencu Gentser Conference Retreat sr Spirituality Center

6503407474 2300 Adeline Drive Burlingame CA 94010 wwwH-ercy-centerorg

The Cosmic Tree of Life by Joyce Rupp

I sank into the moist richness of Earth and yielded to the softness ofher breast I rested my ruminations in her embrace relaxed my hurry in her easy peace

I closed my eyes and waited trusting in some faithful teaching At first I heard only the clashing jangle of my overextended and anxious life but the longer I was attentive the more I noticed the steady heartbeat of something strong deep and true

It was the cosmic tree of life singing rooted firmly in the crevice of my soul

I saw in that moment of clarity the ancient tree that never dies green and full of endless energy a central source of communion fed by the tears of humanity nourished by the beauty of creation touched by the love of Eternal Oneness

As the tree grew out of me so did peace rise sturdily within me a pillar of love breathing in breath of all beings breathing out love pure and undefiled

And when 1 arose from my easy slumber I looked to see that I had wings inside of me gt wings as wide as the open sea wings as strong as the high-flying eagle wings silent silky soft as down on the tender throat of a young sailing swan

wings strong enough to cradle a universe yet gentle enough to nurture a newborn child

Reprinted Mith permission from Orbis Books

The Cosmic Dance An Invitation to Experience Our Oneness Joyce Rupp Art by Mary Southard Orbis Books Maryknoll NY 9149417590 $25

Joyce Rupp goes back in memory to her childhood days of living on a farm in Iowa and discovers she is part of a vast and marvelous dance that continues at each and every moment in the universe Through poetry and prose this best-sellshy

ing author of spiritual books (13 so far) calls readers to share in the dance of unity and onenegyv

Come dance in the heavens and earth with creatures and people through pain and destruction into hope and awareshyness

Float along on the flowing artwork of reknownedartist andstudent of the earth Mary Southard CSJ

This is a book of great spiritual beauty and nourishment

_gtlt7fve fvvtrts ct-nt Je Tcissampcl MMI

Mom had the right instincts When someone is in pain our first response should be to reach out in comfort But it shouldnt end there

For 15 years Marys Pence has been supporting Catholic women who take the next stepmdashmaking sure that the source of pain is identified and addressed Join us as we work for real change

bullJ-f^i^rA-ce CfQ$jgtel Justice

vCfi-

Marys Pence 402 Main St Suite 210 Metuchen NJ 08840 732-452-9611 MarysPNJaolcom wwwMarysPenceorg

New ministry for the new world

Pursue the studies and take the actions that are i

crucial to an evolving Church Our richly

diverse community prepares you to lead on

the cusp of change where faith and justice meet

bull Master of Divinity

bull Master of Arts (GTU Common MA)

bull Master of-Theological Studies (MTS)

JESUIT SCHOOL OF THEOLOGY at Berkeley a member of the Graduate Theological Union 1735 LeRoy Avenue Berkeley CA 94709 (800) 824-0122 (510) 549-5000

Fax (510)841 -8536 E-mail admissionsjstbedu wwwjstbedu

guneltJufysugust 2002 Network for Womens Spirituality ltpoundaae7

Ob-gyn observes mothering around world by Arlene Goetze

I tell my patients they just have to get a C as a mother not an A said Dr Martina Nicholson A few mistakes in their mothering does not make them failures It is only in magazines that they are told they have to be perfect My biggest job is constituting their persona as a mothermdash to believe in them and tell them they are okay adds Martina an obstetrician and gynecologist in Santa Cruz CA

She notes that women are often far from home and family with no one to tell them what is normal There is a large unconshyscious pool ofblame for mothers if children dont turn out right that women are afraid of making mistakes in parenting

Martina currently sees women from all economic levels in theCentral Coast beach area of California but she draws some of her mothering experience from ministershying to village women in Paraguay Orthoshydox Jewish women in Brooklyn and women in Mexico whose absent husbands are pickshying crops in the United States It is a life she never dreamed of

I majored in philosophy at Santa Clara University laughs Martina My parents were teachers who believed in education and travel and that was how I was raised in Ventura When she was 14 the family went to Europe for six months and traveled around in a VW van

Martinas dad taught art and her mom history and they encouraged their six daughters to learn everything there was to learn In college Martina took a study session in the Far East as well as one year in Vienna Austria where she tried to read Kant and Hegel in German

Martina notes that most women want to be good mothshyers but since most are workshying the task is very difficult

Uncertain about where her philosophy degree might take her after graduation Martina found herself filling out an applishycation for the Peace Corps with her roomshymate She was invited to Paraguay to train teachers in basic hygiene

Her ability to play guitar and write songs helped her create a Hookworm song which encouraged children to wear shoes so they would not get hookworm It was aired on national television

She also assisted the local village doctor in training midwives in basic hygiene basic public health obstetric care for pashytients and vaccinations Within six months we cut the maternal-

infant mortality rate in half said Martina But acting as a nurse for a doctor in her

town of Ybycui in an emergency Caesar-ean section on a woman almost dead was the catalyst for turning Martina toward the goal of practicing medicine

After two years in the Peace Corps Martina returned to California and began pre-med classes at Cabrillo Junior College

Words from Wisdom Carrie McClish

Just trust A small child will lead you

Martina Nicholson MD

At age 27 she was turned down by Amerishycan medical schools so enrolled in medical school in Mexico and then completed the Fifth Pathway Training in New York which awarded her a certificate to practice medishycine in the US

My residency was at Maimonides a Jewish hospital in Brooklyn recalls Martina It was there I learned how strictly the Orthodox Jews follow rules They believe religious observance and obeshydience proscribes any work not even to pick up a pencil to sign a medical permisshysion on the Sabbath

In LaMaze childbirth classes the Orshythodox Jewish fathers are taught to make eye contact with their wives since touchshying them during labor could make them unclean They believe it is wrong to look in the eyes ofthe female doctor also

In Paraguay Martina notes that children are considered a blessing and that a broad community and extended family supports the mother If a woman gets tired or depressed there is someone to hold the child and give her a rest

When couples have difficulties men have brothers uncles and friends at work to help stabilize the situation

For an unmarried woman having a child could subject her to abuse and social disapproval There is little awareness of domestic violence and many poor women are raped and abused

It is a different situation for women in Mexico who suffer gready from the desta-bilization of family life

Men come to the US for nine months out of the year to work said Martina Only a few older men remain in the vilshylages When the husbands return they bring sexual diseases as well as ideas they learn from porno films They tell their wives that rectal sex is normal in the US

In her practice in Santa Cruz Martina notes that most women want to be good mothers but since most young mothers today are working the task is very difficult It is one ofthe conditions that has spurred her into political activism on the part of breastfeeding women

Martina is the force behind the moveshyment to extend Maternity Disability Benshyefits in California from the current six to 24 weeks She is working to extend benefits not from employers but from the state disability fund

For newborns mother should be availshyable 24 hours a day and seven days a week for nursing on demand believes Martina Sending mom off to work after a few weeks with a milk pump is not the same This does not allow the necessary bonding between mother and child to take place

Chronic exhaustion in these women lowshyers their milk supply and affects their ability to do a good job both at home and in the work-place As a working mother Martina knows the

stress and strain well She has continued working while giving birth and raising sons Andreas 13 and Sebastian 10 Her husband Greg currently a non-practicing attorney stays home with the boys

Right after my first son was born Polly Klaus was abducted from her home said Martina I realized then I could not proshytect my sons all the time so I have taken up the practice of blessing them Each night before they go to bed I make the sign ofthe cross on their foreheads and bless them It has become a way to show them that I constantly pray that God will protect them Before becoming a doctor Martina taught

natural family planning at the Center for Life at OConnor Hospital in San Jose She displays the determined energy ofher Gershyman Scottish Irish and Mexican ancesshytors in discussing the issues of fertility of women

She notes the work of John Rock the devout Catholic who created the birth conshytrol pill who thought that by regulating a womans cycle she could better practice natural family planning

Succeeding researchers now propose a formula that would greatiy reduce the numshyber of menstrual cycles for women and reduce the risks of uterine and breast canshycer as well

Martina says that all over the world when women have been given the means to control the number of children they have they choose a size of family that they can successfully raise This gives women the chance to develop other skills and abilities to do Gods work in the world

The church opposed the birth control pill in the 1960s when it was proposed as a way of limiting births but if it had been sugshygested as a way to reduce cancer it might well have been accepted

The church has been conventional in understanding the role of women said Martina and it is not going to re-imagine the role of women until it has been shown how Educated women must be pioneers in showing the world how to do this and our struggles to juggle childbearing and cashyreers in this vanguard generation will bear fruit in years to come

cWbmen o)od(rpound

My biggest job is constituting a womans persona as a mother by believing in her and telling her she will be okay

Petition of Extension of Mashyternity Disability Benefits in

CA from 6 to 24 weeks

The American Academy of Pediatshyrics American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology and the World Health Organization recommend that infants be exclusively fed breast milk for the first six weeks of life

Currently the California Medical Assn has a pro-breastfeeding policy and advocates solutions to make it posshysible for more mothers to do what is physiologically best for newborns

Breastfeeding has tremendous health benefits for a baby as well as a mother but is an exhausting 24-hours-a-day job which cannot be done adequately if women return to employment after only six weeks time

This is a move to have state disability benefits rather than the employer pay for the extension of time to 24 weeks Petitions are being circulated for intershyested persons to sign in support of this measure

California residents who wish to voice support can write State Assembly Rep Fred Keeley at State Capitol Rm 3152 Sacramento CA 95814 or send e-mail to fredkeeleyassembly ca gov

CWN will fax a copy of the petition to those who send in a fax number Ifyou wish a copy by mail send a self-adshydressed stamped envelope to 877 Spinosa Dr Sunnyvale CA 94087

Reduceeliminate menstruation

John Rock one ofthe inventors ofthe birth control pill in 1960 was a devout Catholic a renowned teacher at Harvard Medical School a pioneer in in-vitro fertilization and the first to extract an intact fertilized egg He believed the pill was a natural means of birth control but had he considered it a drug to reduce cancer in women rather than a contraceptive the church might have approved it

In 1986 a young scientist Beverly Strassmann studied female biology in Africa with the Dogon tribe of Mali She studied the menstrual habits of women as they were required to spend each period in a special dark cramped menstrual hut or if full on the rocks outside

Since most women bore many children and breastfed for long periods the usual number of menstrual periods women had during their life times was about 100 For women without children they had about 400 periods which is common for most Americans today

Strassman believed that womens bodies are being subjected to the many monthly hormonal changes that they were not designed by evolution to handle The larger number of periods greatly increases risk of some cancers such as ovarian and endometrial cancer

In the 1980s Malcolm Pike ofthe USC went to Japan for six months to study why Japanese women have less breast cancer than Americans His research indicated that breast cancer was linked to a cell division similar to ovarian and endometrial cancers

He linked it to the amount of estrogen and progestin which breasts were subjected to over a lifetime He found Japanese girls started their periods two years after American girls and that Japanese women usually weighed 100 pounds to the Americans 140 two factors which decrease the likelihood of breast cancer

Pikes solution is a class of drugs known as GnRHAs which disrupts the pituitary gland from sending signals for the manufactures of sex horshymones Its a circuit breaker and what it will do essentially is to reduce the number of periods a woman has Currently a woman has about twenty years of uninterrupted ovulation before her first child in her mid-thirties And that isnt what nature planned

From John Rocks Error by Malcolm Gladwell New Yorker March 13 2000

ffafle amp Network for Womens Spirituality flunefjulyAugust 2002

cVeature MOMS offers support for mothers

by Catherine Keefe

My mama always told me that if I wanted to meet nice people I should go to church to doit Well for more than forty years I did go to church

Still I didnt have much more than a gently bulging belly from too many do nuts to carry me through the week Not much spirituality Never mind a soul sister But I was yearning

I guess God decided to remind me that independence was a nice trait for colonists but not for a woman trying diligently to raise decent kids today I got a powerful dissatisfaction with my church-pew-Sunshyday Catholic kind of life In a thunder-shower of grace God gave me the opportushynity to experience divine sacredness every day Tidings of great joy There in the bulletin

was an announcement saying a new season of the Ministry of Mothers Sharing or MOMS was starting up All I knew ofthe group was this a parish-based peer mimstry offering spiritual renewal for mothers of all ages

I signed up tarn a mother I am 43 I have a 16-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son I want to learn more about how to bring God into my life and my family

I sat in a circle of women at my first MOMS meeting and told the strangers around me this No one sniggered at my sincerity or gasped at the fact that I kept God in a separate box from the rest of my life

We were told that this circle of friends was a confidential place to share our dreams and desires and we were not to be aghast or a-gossiping about anything we talked about We were diverse There was pregnant Michelle blooming before our very eyes destined to give birth to her sixth child before our time together ended

There sat Sharon whose youngest child was 25 E wa s children ranged in age from 8 up to 27 One other mom had only teens And a couple God bless them had babies still in diapers What we lacked in comshymonality in children we made up for in our desire to find a meaning in this ministry we were in that is to say the gift of mothershyhood

MOMS is structured around a journal which seeks to put women in touch with things often buried under the demands of caring for others We were gently shepherded through our eight-week jourshynal program by three women in our parish our peers who taught us that to wake up every morning and say Hello God is

SHAIPM PRAYER ^ ^ A PUCE OF PEACE

A month-long retreat in beautiful Oregon PRAYER OF THEHEARTzvexy July

or Design your own SABBA JICAL

beautiful place -flexible time - for both men A women

call (503)845-6773 or e-mail shalomopenorg

for a complete calendar of programs

wwwopenorgshalom

Sponsored by the Benedictine Sisters of Mt Angel Queen of Angels Monastery

840 5 Man Street Mt Angel OR 97362-9527

We were told that this circle of friends was a confidential place to share our dreams and desires

rather normal We learned that praying was something

that did not have to begin with Hail Mary and that asking for patience with a travelshying husband was as valid as praying for world peace We were given our own Christ candle to light in our homes an invitation to family prayer We were hooked in the first chapter in the

journal We were not asked to list the ways we were trying to change nor the things we wanted to accomplish but rather guided to focus on what we really liked about ourshyselves

We relearned a basic truth which we pass on to our children but forget to hold near to ourselves God knows exactly what God did in creating us and God will finish working in us

If we pause and pay attention we will see the outpouring of grace each moment We mentored We wept We became extended family

When the eight-week session ended we chose to continue meeting We turned our attention to the Bible Each week now we discuss the Sunday scripture readings and share their meanings in our lives We cuddle Michelles new baby We rejoice in Ewas sons First Communion

We see each other at Mass during the week and Lord knows we hug In our encounters with each other we have disshycovered an encounter with Christ Jesus has chosen to reveal himself to us in the most gentie of ways Through mothers Sharing faith

Catherine Keefe is a free-lance writer and MOMS facilitator at San Francisco Solano parish in Orange County Califorshynia

CELEBRATE ST MARY OF MAGDALA JULY 2 2 First witness to the Resurrection and

Apostle to the Apostles Over 250 celebrations held world wide last year Free

CELEBRATING WOMEN WITNESSES

A project to rediscover women leaders in the Roman Catholic

Church Includes 12 essays and prayer services about women

such as Dorothy Day Clare of Assisi and Thea Bowman who resisted the

patriarchy of their day because of belief in Jesus $10 donation

Projects developed by FutureChurch 15800 Montrose Ave Cleveland OH 44111

216-228~0869 wwwfuturechurchorg in partnership with

Call to Action wwwcta-usaorg

From the Moms Journal

Congratulations for taking time in your busy life to begin this journey It is an opportunity to reflect on and respond to your spiritual journey Space we have created on these pages is designed to help you discover in a renewing way the wonder ofyour own conception -your development as a tiny self who has nine months of growth inside your mothers womb Soon the world was yours to discover In each new discovery you began to express yourself to those around you That very self is a divine mystery that will continue to reveal itself to you and to those you love

From MOMS A Personal Journal by Paula Hagen with Vickie LoPiccolo Jennett

MOMS present in 3000 parishes The Ministry of Mothers Sharing or

MOMS is a parish-based peer ministry which has inspired more than 250000 women in more than 3000 parishes throughout the country

It begins with an eight-week journal session Women work through a chapter of the journal at home then meet with other women to discuss their discoveries and share their insights

The journal topics covered are Self-Esteem and Acceptance Stress Worries and Anxiety Everyday Spirituality Feelshyings Personal Growth Values in Friendshyship Celebration ofNew Beginnings Conshytinuing the Journey

This program began in Mesa Arizona where Sr Paula Hagen OSB was a Famshyily Ministry Director in a large congregashytion She continually heard from women of the isolation they felt in their role of mothshyerhood of their longing for a spiritual connection to other women of their desire to form deep bonds with others on a spirishytual journey

Over the course of several years she developed MOMS a constantly-evolving program of prayer reflection journaling and reading She was helped in this minshyistry by Vickie LoPiccolo Jennett and

Patricia Hoyt In 1999 a national MOMS Office opened

at St Paul s Monastery in Minnesota where Sr Paula is in residence It offers a nationshywide support network of women who are skilled in bringing the MOMS experience to new parishes and offering training for facilitators Sr Paula also offers retreats and workshops for women across the counshytry

More than half of all women who comshyplete the journal program continue to meet with each other MOMS offers other reshysources for continuing the journey includshying MOMStories - inspirational stories which correspond to the Cycle A Sunday scripture readings and also a Prayer Comshypanion for MOMS

Many MOMS groups branch into other ministries at their parishes such as relishygious education or RCIA Some groups move into their communities and practice the corporal works of mercy by working with the homeless abused or infirm

For more information on MOMS conshytact National MOMS Office St Paul Monastery 2675 Larpenteur Ave E St Paul MN 55109 E-mail address is momsusinternetcom

mdashCatherine Keefe

Mothering Magazine favors the natural

Having a baby US style We do not see childbirth in many obstetric units now What we see

resembles childbirth as much as artificial insemination resembles sexual intercourse Ronald Laing

The beauty fashion and drug industries all tell women that they are not good enough as they are They need something more But the birth industry gives the same messhysage that women are not equal to birth and they need drugs or interventions to accomshyplish the natural task This industry preys on womens fear of death or fear of danger to the infant

American insurance companies define pregnancy as a disability obstetrical medishycine practices defensively to ward off malshypractice suits and pharmaceutical compashynies offer incentives to practitioners to try their productsmdashin short birth has become a business So writes Peggy OMara editor of Mothering Magazine in the March April 2002 issue

Some sad stats One-third of women deliver by Caesar-ean section Over 40 percent use drugs while try ing to avoid all forms of drugs during pregnancy Home births are now rare In hospitals women are not allowed to move stand sit squat or walk Some do not have their babies right after birth The president ofthe American College of

Obstetricians and Gynecologists publicly recommends elective Caesareans rather than vaginal births

Mothering Magazine published in Sante Fe NM by Peggy OMara is like no other publication It started 22 years ago out ofthe need for the natural family comshymunity to learn about raising healthy chilshydren

Mothering was the birthplace of the natural family lifestyle Even its ads are environmentally friendly The current isshysue has articles on safe medications for nursing mothers families living in co-housing communities bicycling with a child and ecstasy of childbirth (letting hormones do their job)

Read in more than 65 countries Mothershying addresses topics as diverse as circumshycision vaccinations organic foods childshyhood illnesses home birth ear infections parenting teens web site information midshywifery and homeopathy

This is a great gift for families interested in directing their own families health wwwmotheringcom One year subscripshytion is $1895 8009848116 or Box 1690 Sante Fe NM 87504

When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes ofa child I saw the woman who helped me give birth tO myself Nancy Friday

ffafle amp Network for Womens Spirituality flunefjulyAugust 2002

cVeature MOMS offers support for mothers

by Catherine Keefe

My mama always told me that if I wanted to meet nice people I should go to church to doit Well for more than forty years I did go to church

Still I didnt have much more than a gently bulging belly from too many do nuts to carry me through the week Not much spirituality Never mind a soul sister But I was yearning

I guess God decided to remind me that independence was a nice trait for colonists but not for a woman trying diligently to raise decent kids today I got a powerful dissatisfaction with my church-pew-Sunshyday Catholic kind of life In a thunder-shower of grace God gave me the opportushynity to experience divine sacredness every day Tidings of great joy There in the bulletin

was an announcement saying a new season of the Ministry of Mothers Sharing or MOMS was starting up All I knew ofthe group was this a parish-based peer mimstry offering spiritual renewal for mothers of all ages

I signed up tarn a mother I am 43 I have a 16-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son I want to learn more about how to bring God into my life and my family

I sat in a circle of women at my first MOMS meeting and told the strangers around me this No one sniggered at my sincerity or gasped at the fact that I kept God in a separate box from the rest of my life

We were told that this circle of friends was a confidential place to share our dreams and desires and we were not to be aghast or a-gossiping about anything we talked about We were diverse There was pregnant Michelle blooming before our very eyes destined to give birth to her sixth child before our time together ended

There sat Sharon whose youngest child was 25 E wa s children ranged in age from 8 up to 27 One other mom had only teens And a couple God bless them had babies still in diapers What we lacked in comshymonality in children we made up for in our desire to find a meaning in this ministry we were in that is to say the gift of mothershyhood

MOMS is structured around a journal which seeks to put women in touch with things often buried under the demands of caring for others We were gently shepherded through our eight-week jourshynal program by three women in our parish our peers who taught us that to wake up every morning and say Hello God is

SHAIPM PRAYER ^ ^ A PUCE OF PEACE

A month-long retreat in beautiful Oregon PRAYER OF THEHEARTzvexy July

or Design your own SABBA JICAL

beautiful place -flexible time - for both men A women

call (503)845-6773 or e-mail shalomopenorg

for a complete calendar of programs

wwwopenorgshalom

Sponsored by the Benedictine Sisters of Mt Angel Queen of Angels Monastery

840 5 Man Street Mt Angel OR 97362-9527

We were told that this circle of friends was a confidential place to share our dreams and desires

rather normal We learned that praying was something

that did not have to begin with Hail Mary and that asking for patience with a travelshying husband was as valid as praying for world peace We were given our own Christ candle to light in our homes an invitation to family prayer We were hooked in the first chapter in the

journal We were not asked to list the ways we were trying to change nor the things we wanted to accomplish but rather guided to focus on what we really liked about ourshyselves

We relearned a basic truth which we pass on to our children but forget to hold near to ourselves God knows exactly what God did in creating us and God will finish working in us

If we pause and pay attention we will see the outpouring of grace each moment We mentored We wept We became extended family

When the eight-week session ended we chose to continue meeting We turned our attention to the Bible Each week now we discuss the Sunday scripture readings and share their meanings in our lives We cuddle Michelles new baby We rejoice in Ewas sons First Communion

We see each other at Mass during the week and Lord knows we hug In our encounters with each other we have disshycovered an encounter with Christ Jesus has chosen to reveal himself to us in the most gentie of ways Through mothers Sharing faith

Catherine Keefe is a free-lance writer and MOMS facilitator at San Francisco Solano parish in Orange County Califorshynia

CELEBRATE ST MARY OF MAGDALA JULY 2 2 First witness to the Resurrection and

Apostle to the Apostles Over 250 celebrations held world wide last year Free

CELEBRATING WOMEN WITNESSES

A project to rediscover women leaders in the Roman Catholic

Church Includes 12 essays and prayer services about women

such as Dorothy Day Clare of Assisi and Thea Bowman who resisted the

patriarchy of their day because of belief in Jesus $10 donation

Projects developed by FutureChurch 15800 Montrose Ave Cleveland OH 44111

216-228~0869 wwwfuturechurchorg in partnership with

Call to Action wwwcta-usaorg

From the Moms Journal

Congratulations for taking time in your busy life to begin this journey It is an opportunity to reflect on and respond to your spiritual journey Space we have created on these pages is designed to help you discover in a renewing way the wonder ofyour own conception -your development as a tiny self who has nine months of growth inside your mothers womb Soon the world was yours to discover In each new discovery you began to express yourself to those around you That very self is a divine mystery that will continue to reveal itself to you and to those you love

From MOMS A Personal Journal by Paula Hagen with Vickie LoPiccolo Jennett

MOMS present in 3000 parishes The Ministry of Mothers Sharing or

MOMS is a parish-based peer ministry which has inspired more than 250000 women in more than 3000 parishes throughout the country

It begins with an eight-week journal session Women work through a chapter of the journal at home then meet with other women to discuss their discoveries and share their insights

The journal topics covered are Self-Esteem and Acceptance Stress Worries and Anxiety Everyday Spirituality Feelshyings Personal Growth Values in Friendshyship Celebration ofNew Beginnings Conshytinuing the Journey

This program began in Mesa Arizona where Sr Paula Hagen OSB was a Famshyily Ministry Director in a large congregashytion She continually heard from women of the isolation they felt in their role of mothshyerhood of their longing for a spiritual connection to other women of their desire to form deep bonds with others on a spirishytual journey

Over the course of several years she developed MOMS a constantly-evolving program of prayer reflection journaling and reading She was helped in this minshyistry by Vickie LoPiccolo Jennett and

Patricia Hoyt In 1999 a national MOMS Office opened

at St Paul s Monastery in Minnesota where Sr Paula is in residence It offers a nationshywide support network of women who are skilled in bringing the MOMS experience to new parishes and offering training for facilitators Sr Paula also offers retreats and workshops for women across the counshytry

More than half of all women who comshyplete the journal program continue to meet with each other MOMS offers other reshysources for continuing the journey includshying MOMStories - inspirational stories which correspond to the Cycle A Sunday scripture readings and also a Prayer Comshypanion for MOMS

Many MOMS groups branch into other ministries at their parishes such as relishygious education or RCIA Some groups move into their communities and practice the corporal works of mercy by working with the homeless abused or infirm

For more information on MOMS conshytact National MOMS Office St Paul Monastery 2675 Larpenteur Ave E St Paul MN 55109 E-mail address is momsusinternetcom

mdashCatherine Keefe

Mothering Magazine favors the natural

Having a baby US style We do not see childbirth in many obstetric units now What we see

resembles childbirth as much as artificial insemination resembles sexual intercourse Ronald Laing

The beauty fashion and drug industries all tell women that they are not good enough as they are They need something more But the birth industry gives the same messhysage that women are not equal to birth and they need drugs or interventions to accomshyplish the natural task This industry preys on womens fear of death or fear of danger to the infant

American insurance companies define pregnancy as a disability obstetrical medishycine practices defensively to ward off malshypractice suits and pharmaceutical compashynies offer incentives to practitioners to try their productsmdashin short birth has become a business So writes Peggy OMara editor of Mothering Magazine in the March April 2002 issue

Some sad stats One-third of women deliver by Caesar-ean section Over 40 percent use drugs while try ing to avoid all forms of drugs during pregnancy Home births are now rare In hospitals women are not allowed to move stand sit squat or walk Some do not have their babies right after birth The president ofthe American College of

Obstetricians and Gynecologists publicly recommends elective Caesareans rather than vaginal births

Mothering Magazine published in Sante Fe NM by Peggy OMara is like no other publication It started 22 years ago out ofthe need for the natural family comshymunity to learn about raising healthy chilshydren

Mothering was the birthplace of the natural family lifestyle Even its ads are environmentally friendly The current isshysue has articles on safe medications for nursing mothers families living in co-housing communities bicycling with a child and ecstasy of childbirth (letting hormones do their job)

Read in more than 65 countries Mothershying addresses topics as diverse as circumshycision vaccinations organic foods childshyhood illnesses home birth ear infections parenting teens web site information midshywifery and homeopathy

This is a great gift for families interested in directing their own families health wwwmotheringcom One year subscripshytion is $1895 8009848116 or Box 1690 Sante Fe NM 87504

When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes ofa child I saw the woman who helped me give birth tO myself Nancy Friday

fluneflutyAugust 2002 Qjetwork for (Womens Spirituality ffiqqe 9

NurturemdashMother Natures way feature

Look at how the mother cat cares for her kittens we are often told when discussing how human mothers should care for their babies Animals instinctively seem to know what to do while human mothers are often bewildered and bemused by the myriad forms of advice thrown their way

In Mother Nature A History of Mothshyers Infants and Natural Selection anshythropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy discusses the science ofhuman evolution with mothshyering a core element Source of ideas

Biologically the word maternity refers to conceiving and giving birth just as paternity refers to siring an offspring But in the West the concept of maternity carshyries with it a long tradition of self-sacrishyfice

The 18th century Oxford Dictionary reads Her charity was the cause of her maternitie Thus moralists ofthe time (1770) who were steeped in God Reason Nature and Man advised women to look to the animals for your example

French physician Jean-Emmanuel Gilibert was convinced that women should follow natures eternal and unchanging precepts by nursing each child they bore Like others Gilibert looked to animals to decide how humans should behave

Gilibert and Swiss Taxonomist Carolus Linnaeus joined together in their belief of what females were for Linnaeus identified an entire class of animals Mammalia by the odd milk-secreting glands that develop in only half the members of that class

The Latin term mammae comes from the plaintive cry mama spontaneously utshytered by young children in widely divershygent linguistic groups By calling mamshymals mammals instead of sucklers (as in German Saugetiere) Linnaeus made his point about nursing as a natural law and that it was unnatural for any woman to deviate by not nursing

Looking to the animals did not prove a healthy modelonce scientific studies on animal maternity began

Social philosopher Herbert Spencer in the 1860s believed that men were made to produce and women to reproduce It was reproduction that stunted their intellectual and emotional growth and thus education of women was wasted effort Charles Darshywin supported the idea that women were equipped to nurture and males excelled at everything else Animal mothering

Looking to the animals did not prove a healthy model once scientific studies on animal maternity began Birds were found to stagger hatching creating situations where the first hatched was stronger than those who followed and was better at grabshybing the food and even eating the siblings (while the mother watched and did not interfere)

Among monkeys studied in 1971 in India unweaned young were attacked and killed by males other than the father Then the hew male drove out the previous one and took over the breeding With their infants gone the mothers soon became sexually receptive and accepted the new male as a breeding partner since they no longer had infants to nurture

Even in the animal kingdom females face choices of whether or not to put energy into a large brood where few survive or into a single birth that will The prize for extreme maternal care goes to one ofthe matriphagous (mother-eating) spiders

After laying her eggs an Australian

social spider continues to store nutrients in a new batch of eggsmdashfar too large to pass through her oviducts As her spiderlings mature the mother turns mushy with her

melting so her young liter-

u p

t i s s u e ravenous ally suck her starting with her legs and then devouring the protein-rich eggs dissolving within her By eating their mother they are less likely to eat each other Mothers early influshyence

The hand that rocks the cradle rarely rules the world But the voice that sings the lullabies and barks cau tionary messages in the first years of life provides critical information about the social niche into which the child has been born

These can have a lasting effect upon the childs mental and emotional outlooks A mother (or substitute) does shape critical assumptions about how the world works what there is to eat who to be afraid of etc

Few geneticists question the importance of maternal effects on early learning since they know the course of evolution (changes in gene frequency) can be altered by ideas imparted to the young Lactation and lifestyle

Mothers milkmdashhow lean or fat it is and how long lactation lasts-reveals much about lifestyle Among small mammals like tree shrews or hares mothers must constantly forage for food and are away for hours from the offspring This milk is unusually rich and high in fat

as well as female to produce crop milk a concoction of partially digested food dishyluted with mucus from the throat which feeds the offspring

The colostrum in the first milk ofhuman mothers can prevent infectionsmdashin a test tube it kills one of the main dysentery-causing amoebas and other diarrhea-causshying parasites Immunological benefits of

mothers milk are well established The hormone oxytocin is present

in large amounts in nursing mothers and accounts for

Early hominids whose mothers carried them had constant access to the nipples Like all primates they could survive on dilute milk with moderate amounts of proshytein and fat but high levels of sugar This milk composed of 88 percent water and like cows milk 3 to 4 percent fat is adapted to the needs of an infant who will nurse every few minutes or hours and nurse for many months No one knows how lactation first evolved

The hormone prolactin however is susshypect Its fingerprints are everywhere Wherever lactation got under way there was prolactin however it was also found in bird and fish species where it never got started

Prolactin is found to increase when stress is present It is also found in males inshyvolved in heavy caretaking such as the California mouse It spikes in mothers when they must defend their infants The higher level of prolactin in either males or females coincides with more atten-tiveness to infant needs

When birds are injected with prolactin they have an increased urge to hover over cover and keep either eggs or the young warm and safe Brooding urges can be so strong they extend to caring for other speshycies as well

Among pigeons doves penguins and flamingos prolactin also stimulates males

the feeling of euphoria that often accompashynies breastfeeding In addition this horshymone of peace and bonding can be passed to the infant calming and soothing the newborn Maternal instinct

In the wild a mouse gathers straw feathshyers fur or whatever and builds a safe nest In the laboratory mice breed in plastic boxes but still feverishly pile sawdust into a soft mound before settling into a warm indentation Immediately after birth the mouse bites off the amniotic sac eats the

Even in the animal kingdom females face choices if whether or not to put energy into a large brood where few survive or into a single birth that will placenta and places the pup in her warm nest At any other time she would just eat the young

Animals studies suggest that there is a gene required to begin the mothering proshycess Mice lackingfos genes (which switch on or activate other genes) neglected their offspring

Fos genes are responsible for one link in the cascade of signals from the mothers brain to other parts ofher body even if all other hormones are present and active in the mother

Excerpted from Mother Nature A History of Mothers Infants and Natural Selection Sarah Blaffer Hrdy Random House 1999 This is a monumental work ofthe study of evolution and natural selecshytion and helps readers find the rightful place of the human species in the animal bull kingdom Learning about other species helps us understand our own human beshyhavior This is a fascinating and easy-to-read volume of more than 600 pages Hrdy is emeritus professor of anthropology at UC Davis and member of National Acadshyemy of Sciences She is author of The Woman That Never Evolved and lives in No California

More or Less than you want to know about infanticide

Just as animals curl up in their nests with their young human mothers took babies to bed with them When an infant was accidentally smothered by her caregiver it was called overlaying An 18th century physician advised Britons to adopt a new invention the Florentine arcutio a three-foot-long wooden cage designed to prevent a woman from suffocating a baby in her bed Italian nurses were obliged to use them under pain of excommunication Even after this first crib was introduced thousands of deaths were attributed to overlaying which today might be called sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)

Of early 20th century mothers admitted to Broadmoor Britains state asylum for the criminally insane 48 percent had committed infanticide Millions of deaths in England Sweden Italy and Azores can be attributed directly or indirectly to maternal tactics to mitigate the high cost of rearing them

Italy kept the best records of infant abandonment By 165022 percent of all children baptized in Florence had been abandoned Between 1500 and 1700 it was never less than 12 percent In the 1840s it was 43 percent of baptized infants (Parents would baptize and then abandon)

In one foundling home in Milan 343406 children were abandoned between 1659 and 1900 Other cities had similar statistics The situation was well-known and open Residents of Brewcia proposed a motto over the gate of one foundling home Here children are killed at public expense

Among Indians in Bolivia following deprivations after the Chaco War 1932-35 nearly every woman in the village had committed infanticide Some 38 percent of babies had been buried alive Social constructs affect womens maternal feelings and care When women distance themselves from babies and dont give immediate care it is easier to desert them When there is family and community support in the raising of children women are more likely to bond and care for the infant If a child was expected to die little care was given Fathers often kept babies from the mothers so they could not bond

A mothers attachment to her infant is not a myth or a cultural construct but it is highly contingent on ecological and historical circumstances

It is not the response of mothers around the world to unwanted babies that is unnatural What is unnatural is the unusually high proportion of very young females or females under dismal circumstances who in the absence of other forms of birth control conceived and carried to term babies unlikely to prosper Males were always valued more than females who were more likely to be abandoned

Wetnursingmdashforerunner of bottle feeding Of 21000 births in Paris in 1780 only five percent were nursed by their own

mothers Mostly it was the higher income women who could afford to keep their babies who farmed them out to often undesirable wetnurses Fertility returned sooner women had more babies and suffered many infections cervical lacerations pelvic infections and prolapsed uteruses Many women died young and the prosperous husband would take another wife and repeat the process with another woman

The above is condensed from Mother Nature bv Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

paae 10 Qfetworlc for Womens Spirituality fluneltJulyugust 2002

creature

Our contemporary myth heaps upon the mother so many duties and expectations that to take it seriously would be hazardous to her mental health shan bdquo Thurer

Mother Love Myths Mother love is powerful stuff Even the least sentimental among us regards

parental affection as a childs birthright It is the mothers kisses and hugs which provide the building blocks to a future of mental health but only if they are bestowed on a child during infancy and early childhood Mothers must then gradually relinshyquish intense attachment The precise dose of mother love is the central factor in the well-being ofthe next generation

So goes the myth of motherhood writes Shari L Thurer in her book The Myths of Motherhood

Each society has its own mythology of motherhood complete with rituals beliefs expectations norms and symbols The way to mother is not writ in the stars our genes or the collective unconscious The good mother is reinvented as each age or society defines her anew in its own terms according to its own mythology

As withmost myths the current Western version is so pervasive that it is unnoticeable The current standards for good motnering are so formidable self-denying elusive changeable and contradictory that they are unattainable Our contemporary myth heaps upon the mother so many duties and expectations that to take it seriously would be hazardous to her mental health

Our current myth holds that the well-being of our children depends almost entirely on the quality of their upbringing (read mother since it is she who usually has primary responsibility for raising children) An intense prolonged loving bond between mother and child is essential Common sense has given way to an obsession with the mother-child relationship Yet this is a linear way of thinking It obscures the importance of family dynamics social environment life events and the character and inner psychodynamics ofthe child

The really good mother is a full-time mother Working outside the home is a necessary evil The truth is that working mothers are doing what mothers have always done Throughout most of history mothers have devoted more time to other duties than to child care and have delegated aspects of child rearing to others except for a brief period after World War II TV shows like Leave it to Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet contributed to the idea that this form of child rearing was good and right and the way things had always been

In her book The Myths of Motherhood psychiatrist Shari Thurer traces the evolution of motherhood from prehistory to the present day Following are some of her revelations

Motheringmdashthe Old Fashioned Way God used to be a mother who worked outside the home From the Old Stone

Age to the closing of the last goddess temples about 500 AD she did it all As the Great Mother she gave birth was transformed experienced death rebirth and everything in-between This maternal goddess was the oldest of all the gods and she was all powerful She made the rules Mother has come a long way down

Archeological evidence indicates that the earliest mothers often had a better chance of freedom dignity and self-actualization compared with her mate than a mother has today She was not burdened by modern ideas of chastity modesty maternal altruism or quality time Prehistoric women nursed their children but the idea of total devotion to the child came much later

While men were the hunters women were gatherers as well as the breeder-feeders They provided more food than the men as they went about their plant gatheringmdasha friendly boisterous activity with other women and children There were no rigid rules for children so they grew up loving creatures Women did not rule but were co-partners with men in daily life

The earliest religious icons were naked female figurines often in advanced stages of pregnancy known more as symbols of fecundity than objects of male sexual desire It was not until the New Stone Age that woman was pictured with a child suggesting that it was the womans capacity to reproduce that inspired worship

History begins Hers to ry ends In the beginning from about 3100 to 600 BC we might see a Near Eastern

mother sing a Sumerian lullaby to her baby as she rocks her to sleep As humans emerged from the darkness of prehistory we see terrified children mostly under two but often 12 years old being placed in the mechanical arms ofa carnivorous deity for sacrifice Thousands of urns of cremated babies have been found in Carthage

What happened during this time was the establishment of partriarchy the universal domination of women by men that has continued in one form or another ever since By 600 BC patriarchy was dominate in Europe Asia and Africa Female virgins and mothers were a commodity since children were needed for labor Women who were raped or barren could be stoned drowned or discarded

Women however have colluded in their own subordination In many cases women had no choices but men often did not have to use overt physical pressure to keep women down Social conditioning that women serve men was accepted by women

Not surprisingly there was a shift in magic ritual and imagery from the womb to the phallus Female figurines gave way to male figures The penis became the primary symbol of generation of power

Illustration bv Jeri Becker

I Classical Mommdashsublime and ridiculous

Today the good mother provides good care for all her children In fifth century Athens the

bull good mother cared only for those children chosen to be reared Her husband did the choosing and unwanted children usually girls were exposed or abandoned with the acceptance of society Only one family in a hundred raised more than one girl

Women who survived infancy were objects of scorn and treated only as child-bearers Homosexuality among men was widespread While the powerful Mother Goddess was revered and worshiped the later Greek goddesses were failures at adequate mothering but known more for sexuality There is an absence of nurturing mothers in Greek mythology which says something about Greek life

Some signs exist from Classical Athens that show parents were devoted to children (grave markers toys artistic renderings of babies) however the use of wet nurses freed women from nursing and thus allowed husbands to resume sexual intimacy with their wives (not allowed during nursing) Roman culture emulated Greek practices but Roman woman was more emancipated and educated Child abandonment continued however

II Medieval Mom Madonna Fever the Original Version The Madonna concept of motherhood dominated European history from

around 500 to the 15th century The selfless devotion ofMary the mother of Jesus to her son had tremendous impact Mary is one of few female characters to havebdquotained the position of archetype Attachment to Mary (Mariolatry) and contempt for Mary (a negative attachment) run very deep Her exaltation has been the cause of wars schisms masochism and impotence as well as songs liturgies and fabulous works of art

The veneration ofMary remains the single greatest obstacle to the eventual reunification ofthe Christian churches Over time her devotion has acquired stories visions shrines miracles and sightings She is the cause of big business that is related to the sites of her miracles It is Marys brand of motherhood that is ingrained in our psyche The virgins way of mothering has become the ideal with her exquisite bond with her son her inexhaustible caring People wanted her form of mothering but did not practice or pass it on

Mary is the dream mom the consummate full and flowing breast but her biography has been so transformed that the current idea of social activist mom is radically different from a socially marginal Jewish mother in the backwater town of Nazareth a remote virgin in the first century

For a child Mary is the perfect mom but for a mother Mary has no self no needs ofher own The only female biological function permitted her is the act of nursing She is modest to the point of prudery servile pious entirely self-erasing a primeval co-dependent believes author Thurer Whose dream was she anyway

Mixed Messages In medieval times infant mortality was so high (30 to 60 percent) that

women did not invest much time in babies Some historians say that it was the treatment of babies by poorly-mothering mothers (unattentive wet nurses poor feeding) which caused the high mortality The family structure was not father mother and children but was so large and extended women were not always in proximity to their infants All adults worked often out in the fields Life took place in the commushynity not at the family level Marriages rarely lasted more than 12 to 17 years with one partner usually dying

In Rome from the eighth century infants were abandoned and by 1480 in all large cities in Europe there were foundling hospitals for abandoned babies

Christianity raised the status of children For a thousand years children were either Holy Innocents or depraved containers of Original Sin Despite mixed messhysages Christianity was concerned with the moral status of children Jesus gave privilege to children women and the disadvantaged but Augustine came along and argued children were born with Original Sin and needed baptism

Baptism originally an entrance in to the church was now needed to keep one out of hell In medieval literature the role of children was to suffermdashtolerating drowning mutilation and abandonment in every literary form It was so pervasive that it must represent some form of psychic if not literary truth

In the Middle Ages marriage was viewed as shameful Christians prohibited intercourse on Sunday Wednesdays Fridays Ember days during Lent and Advent and before communion Sex was forbidden when a woman was menstruating pregnant or postpartum On Tuesdays married couples had to observe the regulashytions governing the proper missionary position Parenthood was damned with faint praise by the early church fathers amp5IH

The]

fluneflulyAuRUst 2002 Network for Womens Spirituality fr11

z Evolution of

tlolherititi Early Modern MommdashFather knows best - 1500-1700

While Shakespeare wrote and Rembrandt painted witches were burned Between 60000 to 200000 women were pricked racked and strappadoed (a torture similar to bungee jumping) on trumped-up charges until they confessed to being witches at which point they were burned at the stake The witch hunts were not during the Dark Ages but during the age of rationalism and scientific revolution In America only 36 women were burned as witches in Salem but the witch craze in Europe was an equal opportunity destroyer of women All grown women were vulnerable and the only exception was for good mothers

Motherhood had come a long way since the Middle Ages when virginity was the more prestigious calling Now maternity was the price of admission to heaven There was no other way to be a good Christian woman than to give birth Family values were invented praised and propagandized

This was an era of sweeping economic and political changes A middle class emerged as peasants moved to cities Early capitalism legitimated people s self-interest and seeds ofthe nuclear family began to sprout Private homes replaced public households Marriage was dignified especially by the Puritans Martin Luther proclaimed marriage a holy thing Marriage was superior to burning and better than celibacy Parents started consulting their children before arranging their marriages

Marriage extolled by Luther and the Protestants was not a partnership model but one based on patriarchy Many fathers ruled as despots and child beatings were considered good parenting The good mother was pious obedient chaste and silent Here began the second shift mentality with women working for wages since domestic work was not considered work Child raising was taken more seriously but children were still sent away to be wet-nursed and trained young as apprentices

It was the bad mothermdashthe unwed sexually-active mother who triggered virulent hatred in her society and was marginalized (In 1500 there was a surplus of women and 40 percent did not marry)

In art the mother image disappeared St Joseph replaced Mary the perfect obedient wife and Protestants tore down Marys portrait altogether in a campaign against images The Reformation dismembered the Virgin leaving her nurturing motherhood but transferring her sexuality to Eve The witch craze came in and witches were scapegoats for all problems related to childbearing For male impotence a woman was burned Witches not men were blamed for illegitimate children

Mostiy witches were accused of having extra breasts by which they nurtured evil Witch hunters sucked on warts birthmarks and freckles on women to see if they were teats and often claimed they were Midwives particularly were a target of witch hunts since they were a threat to male physicians Childbirth was so difficult that many women prepared for their death as they prepared for their delivery

In the medieval world both parents were punished by the church for infantishycidemdashmaybe a few days in the stocks In this world the church zeroed in on mothers with a vengeance especially unwed mothers who were tortured beheaded or otherwise killed

18th and 19th Century MommdashExaltation of Mother After being considered as devils a century earlier mothers now became

angels ofthe house Home was a safe haven with mother as presider the true woman virtuous gentle devoted and asexual who guided her children and tended her husband The Industrial Revolution came along and shattered the traditional structure ofthe family Agrarian life was destroyed and work in the factories sucked up human labor The family changed from a productive unit to a consumer unit Dads role faded as mothers role increased Dad worked long hours in a factory and families started buying ready-made products i-ffM

Clergy poets and politicians put mother on a pedestal She was the balm for the troubled worldmdashthe safe home vs the cruel outside world Womens work in the home became invisible Artists starting painting happy mothers and Mother Goose appeared with her stories

Raising children now relied on the idea that the childs welfare rested mostly in the loving arms ofthe mother excluding the fathers role The idea of children born with Original Sin now evolved into the belief that babies were cherubs

In late 18th century male doctors replaced midwives bringing in the use of forceps surgical techniques and anesthesia Women were not allowed training in developing techniques so male doctors took over deliveries The poor flourished child abandonment was high and human misery was great Women died in great numbers and many children grew up without a mother (Browning Shelley Eliot etc) Women authors of the time were not mothers Almost no mothers created enduring literature

In the 19th century women lost their sex drive to their maternal instinct and the notion that women are biologically more suited to motherhood Women wanted babies and men wanted orgasms Women were seen as dominated by their wombs Sexual desire became the exclusive province of men and lower-class women

Early feminists didnt question womens role as mother They sought support structures for mothers to facilitate their double burden in the home and workplace They did not seek more involvement by the father or sharing ofthe workload with him Abstinence was pushed since feminists thought birth control

creature

Throughout most of history mothers have devoted more time to other duties than to child care and have delegated aspects of child rearshying to others The Myths of Motherhood

might make women mere playthings and more not less dependent on men In the late 19th century the birth rate plunged probably attributable to birth

control although no one talked about it Women could now expect to survive childbirth Children were now viewed as needing loving care and bottle-feeding became safe Women came to believe that like Nora in A Dolls House I no longer believe that (first I am a wife and mother) I believe that before all else I am a human being

20th Century Mom-Fall from Grace Scientific Mom 1900-1940

Mom got her sex drive back as well as the vote but she lost her poetry Her hair and skirts were clipped and so were her Angels wings She was brought down from the pedestal of purity and domesticity The rise of science was the impetus for a womans fall from grace Maternal instinct was no longer enough to raise a childmdashone needed electricity x-rays sulfa drugs the telephone the car movies and many laborsaving devices (in place of servants)

Mothers started using thermometers formulas charts and schedules which gave them an aura of professionalism The New Woman became independent assertive and pleasure-hungry as growing numbers filled the reform movement Women had fewer children and were attending college Husbands and wives were not only lovers but also friends Child study became a sound scientific discipline Mothers tracked babies character traits habits speech etc for studies They had to follow experts as well as monitor their children Strict schedules were in and toilet training started at two to three months Empathic Mom 1940-1980

Once mothers discovered they had been sold a bill of goods (a burdensome unperformable guilt-inducing myth of motherhood) they reduced the number of children born The birthrate went from four to two children per family

No matter what a mother did during the first year ofa childs life she was held responsible for the childs miseries Child-rearing ideas turned 180 degrees and cuddly round-the-clock permissiveness became the norm Formerly suppressed children could now have free rein It was a time the world was reinventing itself after totalitarian insurgence in Germany and Russia and now the free world wanted its children to be free Repression and conflict had becomodirty words Mothers schedule revolved around the child not the other way around Moms read manuals overindulged in buying baby products and saw dads role increase in importance

Reinventing the Myth 1980-90 In this decade 70 percent of educated mothers are in the labor force This

generation is ambitious which is not a maternal trait When a woman nurtures her young the behavior expresses a womans biological nature but when nurturing acts are performed by men it is seen as extraordinary Nurturance provided by houseshykeepers child-care workers or teachers has low value in the marketplace

It is a time of vertigo for women Since most women in the past (except for some time in the 1950s) have not been full-time caregivers we would have to presume that most children are damaged Scientific research on day care has not proved this true (No one knows for sure what is best for children)

The fetus is now usurping the mother in public consciousness most likely from newly-developing reproductive technologies Yet it is a time when womens identities are expanding They are marrying later using contraceptives and abortion having fewer or no children and entering the labor force in high percentages

Women are now finding a voice in literature Women are mentors but they make mistakes They are not wholly fulfilled by motherhood and some are ambivashylent about children Thirty thousand years after her birth mother is leaving the realm of mythology and joing the human race or more accurately rejoining it after the patriarchal takeover Its about time

For thousands of years because ofher awesome ability to spew forth a child mother has been feared and revered She has been the subject of taboos and witch-hunts mandatory pregnancy and confinement She has been the subject of glorious painting chivalry and idealization Through it all she has rarely been consulted She has been an object not a subject

Feature material on these two pages has been compiled by Arlene Goetze

Credits Excerpted from The Myths of

Motherhood How Culture Reinvents the Good Mother by Shari L Thurer Houghton Mifflin Co NY 1994

Shari L Thurer is a professor at BostonUniversity and a psychoanalyticalty trained psychologist with a private practice She has published widely in scholarly journals on the concept of the good mother She lives in Boston with her husband and daughter

Amazing Grace Charlotte Attebery

Did you call

ltpaae 12 Qfetwork for (Womens Spirituality ltJuneguly^ugust 2002

ituaC

Charlotte Attebery

Sacred Pampering to nourish self

Pampering is not self-serving Its conscious self-service

Debrena Jackson Gandy

Pampering is an art which transshyformational speaker Debrena Jackson Gandy learned from her mother Whether her mom was taking her bath bubble soak in the tub or digging deep in her fruitful vegetable garden Debrena learned the skill of doing what brings joy And she has written a delightful book Sacred Pampering Principles as a guide for self-care and inner renewal for African-American women

Pampering is not the same as grooming it is not about adding more things to the to do list in already full lives Pampering is about making a shift to integrate experiences and make more choices which bring one joy peace and pleasure

Debrena challenges the Strong Black Women Syndrome (SBW) and the ingrained images of powerful Mammie and Aunt Jemima which emerged from the days of slavery Mammie was the superlative nurturer the omnipotent caregiver the shoulder for everyone to lean on

This book is written for women who are overextended and here are some of its recommendations Criteria for pampering

The experience is one in which you are the primary beneficiary The experience brings you joy and increases your inner peace The experience nurtures your body mind and spirit A first step toward self-service is to identify your Pampering Gremlinsmdash

the reasons or excuses you give for not tending to yourself These may be your job children family responsibilities laziness lack of time etc

Pampering principles for the Spirit (here are four ofher 12) In this book the soul is considered the center ofyour Essence the core of

your unique being and the spirit is the vital life-giving Godforce that infuses and fills the physical body 1 Fall in love with yourself Like the song we often look for love in the wrong places We look for love outside ourselves We need to first love ourselves with all our flaws and past mistakes 2 Get acquainted with yourself Separate yourself from your name your house your job and all titles you wear Stare at yourself in the mirror and look into yourself rather than at yourself Listen to what is inside you 3 Innercise Toiling up your Spirit This means working on yourself from the inside out It requires self-reflection for inner growth Our ego directs us to defensiveness anger jealousy gossiping conceit and dishonesty Innercise helps us move through these issues and see where we are in need of more love and spiritual work in our lives A simple formula is Pause reflect assess realize learn integrate = Innercise 4 Spirit-nourishing tools Building a house requires supplies (lumber screws cement) and tools (hammer level and saw) Supplies are consumed in the house but tools assist us in building the house Tools include breathing meditation prayer in many forms quiet time and journaling

Pampering Principles for the Body (here are 4 of 12) Your body is your divine packaging There are no trade-ins One per life

Many treat their bodies as if they re practice models a test run Why do we have so many parts we cant accept We are often stuck in the If only my stomach was flatter or my skin were clearer These put our lives on hold Women spend amazing amounts of time energy and money finding ways to camouflage bodily inadequacies 1 Your Body Temple Be at home in your bodymdashit is a temple of God where the Spirit lives Women are often rooted in the pain of thinking their bodies are not okay To be at home requires making peace with our bodies accepting them and affirming them vlaquo 2 Create Sacred Spaces and Places To counter the erosive affects of contemposhyrary living we need to make sacred places where we can relax nurture and love our bodies Here we can make a sacred altar and create sacred ritualsmdashinvite a friend in for a friendship ritual celebrate empowerment gratitude etc alone or with others 3 Create an in-house spa Forego the quick shower for a relaxing bath Egyptian women have bathed at the Nile and Roman women luxuriated in the social settings of lengthy baths Bathing for therapeutic purposes is an art that needs reviving Bring in essential oils for different effects Chamomile for calming Eucalyptus for energy balancing frankincense for revitalizing and lavender for healing 4 Laying On of Hands the Power of Touch Being touched increases health and vitality Pamper yourself with self-massage but also with some of the healing techniques of massage Reiki acupressure reflexology and rolfing

Excerpted from Sacred Pampering Principles An African-American Womans Guide to Self-Care and Inner Renewal Debrena Jackson Gandy William Morrow amp Co NY 1997

This is a truly delightful book and coach to lead readers to pamper themselves to renew and rejuvenate both body and spirit Pamper yourself with a copy for many uplifting ideas

Womens Rites

Connect with Mentors and Mothers

by Sandra Sherman OSU

Setting If alone - a comfortable place to sit with a table or space in which to light candles If in a group - a place large enough for all to sit it a circle with space in the center for lighting candles Several small candles or vigil lights Tape or CD Player Room for walking

If in a group sit it a circle If alone sit in the circle ofyour imagination

Take some quiet time to recall the names and faces of women both living and deshyceased who have mothered nurtured mentored you physically emotionally mentally and spiritually (Play quiet music during this time)

Invite the women who come to mind one at a time aloud by name to join you in the circle Include in your verbal invitation the way in which each woman mothered nurtured or mentored you

Use a formula something like this Name of Woman who nurtured my spirit when it needed feeding I welcome your presence here now Do this for each of the women you wish to invite

If in a group take turns letting each woman name one individual as she feels moved to do so

As you name each woman light a small candle to represent her presence and set in front of you in a small circle ifyou are alone and in the center of the large circle ifyou are in a group

Sit for a while in silence absorbing the light of those who have responded to your

As you name each woman light a small candle to represhysent her presence

invitation Play a song that symbolizes for you what

one of your mother-mentors might say or the gift which she gave you (Some suggesshytions are You Light Up My Life Ann Murray or Hope You Dance LeeAnn Womack)

Stand now and walk meditatively folshylowing in the footsteps of your mother-mentors one at a time How does each move Where does she lead you

If alone end by blowing out each candle and as you do so let the person whom the candle represents bless you What would she say to you

If in a group hold hands in the circle and allow each woman to speak aloud the blessings which her mother-mentors send her When she is finished she blows out the candles which represent them

End with a blessing for each other or with a possible circle dance (suggested is Woman Divine Messenger Europe II reshycording or All You Teachers of the Light Euorope III recording - Dances of Univershysal Peace can be found on web at wwwDancesOfUniversalPeaceorg)

Sandra Jean Sherman OSU is a leader of ritual sacred dance artist and leader ofthe Dances of Universal Peace

Society fails at day care not mothers Starting in the late 1980s day care beshy

came the new dragon in the mothers guilt pack Infants placed in day care were said to be harmed by insecure attachment to their mothers with greater aggressiveness and noncompliance in early childhood

A study by Jay Belsky was found inadshyequate but the continual preaching from the baby gurus (Brazelton Dr Spock etc) and the chorus of magazine articles enshytrenched the attachment theory in Amerishycan conscienceness

Few studies in this area corroborated with other research Each had so many variables that it is nearly impossible to draw broad conclusions on the small numshyber of study subjects

The concept of attachment has become a tool for simplifying the moral dilemmas faced by social workers and the legal sysshytem Attachment of the child is a key factor Behind the mother blaming writes Diane Eyer in her book Motherguilt is the nasty reality No one want to pay for the care of our young children Instead of making child care a priority in this country castigating mothers is the useful smokescreen

American child care is definitely someshything to feel guilty about and it is not mothers who should feel this guilt Women have cobbled together a system flawed as it is as a way to provide for their families welfare

It is no surprise that American child care is the worst in the Western world A 1995 study of 400 child care centers were found to threaten childrens proper growth and education Workers are paid low wages and centers have a 42 percent turnover rate

It really takes a village to raise a child Psychological research hasbeenso focused on mothercare to the extent of other care

American child care is the worst in the Western world amp women are not to blame

that it has woefully failed parents and children Exclusive mothercare is a social anomaly in human history Multiple care-taking is common in societies that show a great deal of concern for children Where mothers alone are charged with child care more neglect appears

Multiple caregiving is here to stay yet there are few adequate guidelines for its organization or even acceptance in conshytemporary America Most other countries in Europe Scandinavia Canada Israel and Japan view child care as a collective responsibility and public funds are allotshyted to subsidize both individual family and collective child care

Universal subsidized preschool for chilshydren from 30 months to six years has clearly emerged as the policy choices ofthe advanced industrial nations

In more than 100 countries women get three months of paid maternalpaternal leave and up to six to 12 months in Euroshypean and Scandinavian countries

Mothers today should be congratulated for the hard task of mothering and working with such little support Blaming them for the ills ofa changing society is scapegoating of the most superstitious kind

If we as a society are to live well we must all become like mothers Only then can we truly understand motherguilt

Condensed form Motherguilt Diane Eyer PhD Times Books Random House 1996 Eyer is author of Mother-Infant Bonding A Scienshytific Fiction and has taught psychology at the U Of Pennsylvania and Rutgers

paae 10 Qfetworlc for Womens Spirituality fluneltJulyugust 2002

creature

Our contemporary myth heaps upon the mother so many duties and expectations that to take it seriously would be hazardous to her mental health shan bdquo Thurer

Mother Love Myths Mother love is powerful stuff Even the least sentimental among us regards

parental affection as a childs birthright It is the mothers kisses and hugs which provide the building blocks to a future of mental health but only if they are bestowed on a child during infancy and early childhood Mothers must then gradually relinshyquish intense attachment The precise dose of mother love is the central factor in the well-being ofthe next generation

So goes the myth of motherhood writes Shari L Thurer in her book The Myths of Motherhood

Each society has its own mythology of motherhood complete with rituals beliefs expectations norms and symbols The way to mother is not writ in the stars our genes or the collective unconscious The good mother is reinvented as each age or society defines her anew in its own terms according to its own mythology

As withmost myths the current Western version is so pervasive that it is unnoticeable The current standards for good motnering are so formidable self-denying elusive changeable and contradictory that they are unattainable Our contemporary myth heaps upon the mother so many duties and expectations that to take it seriously would be hazardous to her mental health

Our current myth holds that the well-being of our children depends almost entirely on the quality of their upbringing (read mother since it is she who usually has primary responsibility for raising children) An intense prolonged loving bond between mother and child is essential Common sense has given way to an obsession with the mother-child relationship Yet this is a linear way of thinking It obscures the importance of family dynamics social environment life events and the character and inner psychodynamics ofthe child

The really good mother is a full-time mother Working outside the home is a necessary evil The truth is that working mothers are doing what mothers have always done Throughout most of history mothers have devoted more time to other duties than to child care and have delegated aspects of child rearing to others except for a brief period after World War II TV shows like Leave it to Beaver and Ozzie and Harriet contributed to the idea that this form of child rearing was good and right and the way things had always been

In her book The Myths of Motherhood psychiatrist Shari Thurer traces the evolution of motherhood from prehistory to the present day Following are some of her revelations

Motheringmdashthe Old Fashioned Way God used to be a mother who worked outside the home From the Old Stone

Age to the closing of the last goddess temples about 500 AD she did it all As the Great Mother she gave birth was transformed experienced death rebirth and everything in-between This maternal goddess was the oldest of all the gods and she was all powerful She made the rules Mother has come a long way down

Archeological evidence indicates that the earliest mothers often had a better chance of freedom dignity and self-actualization compared with her mate than a mother has today She was not burdened by modern ideas of chastity modesty maternal altruism or quality time Prehistoric women nursed their children but the idea of total devotion to the child came much later

While men were the hunters women were gatherers as well as the breeder-feeders They provided more food than the men as they went about their plant gatheringmdasha friendly boisterous activity with other women and children There were no rigid rules for children so they grew up loving creatures Women did not rule but were co-partners with men in daily life

The earliest religious icons were naked female figurines often in advanced stages of pregnancy known more as symbols of fecundity than objects of male sexual desire It was not until the New Stone Age that woman was pictured with a child suggesting that it was the womans capacity to reproduce that inspired worship

History begins Hers to ry ends In the beginning from about 3100 to 600 BC we might see a Near Eastern

mother sing a Sumerian lullaby to her baby as she rocks her to sleep As humans emerged from the darkness of prehistory we see terrified children mostly under two but often 12 years old being placed in the mechanical arms ofa carnivorous deity for sacrifice Thousands of urns of cremated babies have been found in Carthage

What happened during this time was the establishment of partriarchy the universal domination of women by men that has continued in one form or another ever since By 600 BC patriarchy was dominate in Europe Asia and Africa Female virgins and mothers were a commodity since children were needed for labor Women who were raped or barren could be stoned drowned or discarded

Women however have colluded in their own subordination In many cases women had no choices but men often did not have to use overt physical pressure to keep women down Social conditioning that women serve men was accepted by women

Not surprisingly there was a shift in magic ritual and imagery from the womb to the phallus Female figurines gave way to male figures The penis became the primary symbol of generation of power

Illustration bv Jeri Becker

I Classical Mommdashsublime and ridiculous

Today the good mother provides good care for all her children In fifth century Athens the

bull good mother cared only for those children chosen to be reared Her husband did the choosing and unwanted children usually girls were exposed or abandoned with the acceptance of society Only one family in a hundred raised more than one girl

Women who survived infancy were objects of scorn and treated only as child-bearers Homosexuality among men was widespread While the powerful Mother Goddess was revered and worshiped the later Greek goddesses were failures at adequate mothering but known more for sexuality There is an absence of nurturing mothers in Greek mythology which says something about Greek life

Some signs exist from Classical Athens that show parents were devoted to children (grave markers toys artistic renderings of babies) however the use of wet nurses freed women from nursing and thus allowed husbands to resume sexual intimacy with their wives (not allowed during nursing) Roman culture emulated Greek practices but Roman woman was more emancipated and educated Child abandonment continued however

II Medieval Mom Madonna Fever the Original Version The Madonna concept of motherhood dominated European history from

around 500 to the 15th century The selfless devotion ofMary the mother of Jesus to her son had tremendous impact Mary is one of few female characters to havebdquotained the position of archetype Attachment to Mary (Mariolatry) and contempt for Mary (a negative attachment) run very deep Her exaltation has been the cause of wars schisms masochism and impotence as well as songs liturgies and fabulous works of art

The veneration ofMary remains the single greatest obstacle to the eventual reunification ofthe Christian churches Over time her devotion has acquired stories visions shrines miracles and sightings She is the cause of big business that is related to the sites of her miracles It is Marys brand of motherhood that is ingrained in our psyche The virgins way of mothering has become the ideal with her exquisite bond with her son her inexhaustible caring People wanted her form of mothering but did not practice or pass it on

Mary is the dream mom the consummate full and flowing breast but her biography has been so transformed that the current idea of social activist mom is radically different from a socially marginal Jewish mother in the backwater town of Nazareth a remote virgin in the first century

For a child Mary is the perfect mom but for a mother Mary has no self no needs ofher own The only female biological function permitted her is the act of nursing She is modest to the point of prudery servile pious entirely self-erasing a primeval co-dependent believes author Thurer Whose dream was she anyway

Mixed Messages In medieval times infant mortality was so high (30 to 60 percent) that

women did not invest much time in babies Some historians say that it was the treatment of babies by poorly-mothering mothers (unattentive wet nurses poor feeding) which caused the high mortality The family structure was not father mother and children but was so large and extended women were not always in proximity to their infants All adults worked often out in the fields Life took place in the commushynity not at the family level Marriages rarely lasted more than 12 to 17 years with one partner usually dying

In Rome from the eighth century infants were abandoned and by 1480 in all large cities in Europe there were foundling hospitals for abandoned babies

Christianity raised the status of children For a thousand years children were either Holy Innocents or depraved containers of Original Sin Despite mixed messhysages Christianity was concerned with the moral status of children Jesus gave privilege to children women and the disadvantaged but Augustine came along and argued children were born with Original Sin and needed baptism

Baptism originally an entrance in to the church was now needed to keep one out of hell In medieval literature the role of children was to suffermdashtolerating drowning mutilation and abandonment in every literary form It was so pervasive that it must represent some form of psychic if not literary truth

In the Middle Ages marriage was viewed as shameful Christians prohibited intercourse on Sunday Wednesdays Fridays Ember days during Lent and Advent and before communion Sex was forbidden when a woman was menstruating pregnant or postpartum On Tuesdays married couples had to observe the regulashytions governing the proper missionary position Parenthood was damned with faint praise by the early church fathers amp5IH

The]

fluneflulyAuRUst 2002 Network for Womens Spirituality fr11

z Evolution of

tlolherititi Early Modern MommdashFather knows best - 1500-1700

While Shakespeare wrote and Rembrandt painted witches were burned Between 60000 to 200000 women were pricked racked and strappadoed (a torture similar to bungee jumping) on trumped-up charges until they confessed to being witches at which point they were burned at the stake The witch hunts were not during the Dark Ages but during the age of rationalism and scientific revolution In America only 36 women were burned as witches in Salem but the witch craze in Europe was an equal opportunity destroyer of women All grown women were vulnerable and the only exception was for good mothers

Motherhood had come a long way since the Middle Ages when virginity was the more prestigious calling Now maternity was the price of admission to heaven There was no other way to be a good Christian woman than to give birth Family values were invented praised and propagandized

This was an era of sweeping economic and political changes A middle class emerged as peasants moved to cities Early capitalism legitimated people s self-interest and seeds ofthe nuclear family began to sprout Private homes replaced public households Marriage was dignified especially by the Puritans Martin Luther proclaimed marriage a holy thing Marriage was superior to burning and better than celibacy Parents started consulting their children before arranging their marriages

Marriage extolled by Luther and the Protestants was not a partnership model but one based on patriarchy Many fathers ruled as despots and child beatings were considered good parenting The good mother was pious obedient chaste and silent Here began the second shift mentality with women working for wages since domestic work was not considered work Child raising was taken more seriously but children were still sent away to be wet-nursed and trained young as apprentices

It was the bad mothermdashthe unwed sexually-active mother who triggered virulent hatred in her society and was marginalized (In 1500 there was a surplus of women and 40 percent did not marry)

In art the mother image disappeared St Joseph replaced Mary the perfect obedient wife and Protestants tore down Marys portrait altogether in a campaign against images The Reformation dismembered the Virgin leaving her nurturing motherhood but transferring her sexuality to Eve The witch craze came in and witches were scapegoats for all problems related to childbearing For male impotence a woman was burned Witches not men were blamed for illegitimate children

Mostiy witches were accused of having extra breasts by which they nurtured evil Witch hunters sucked on warts birthmarks and freckles on women to see if they were teats and often claimed they were Midwives particularly were a target of witch hunts since they were a threat to male physicians Childbirth was so difficult that many women prepared for their death as they prepared for their delivery

In the medieval world both parents were punished by the church for infantishycidemdashmaybe a few days in the stocks In this world the church zeroed in on mothers with a vengeance especially unwed mothers who were tortured beheaded or otherwise killed

18th and 19th Century MommdashExaltation of Mother After being considered as devils a century earlier mothers now became

angels ofthe house Home was a safe haven with mother as presider the true woman virtuous gentle devoted and asexual who guided her children and tended her husband The Industrial Revolution came along and shattered the traditional structure ofthe family Agrarian life was destroyed and work in the factories sucked up human labor The family changed from a productive unit to a consumer unit Dads role faded as mothers role increased Dad worked long hours in a factory and families started buying ready-made products i-ffM

Clergy poets and politicians put mother on a pedestal She was the balm for the troubled worldmdashthe safe home vs the cruel outside world Womens work in the home became invisible Artists starting painting happy mothers and Mother Goose appeared with her stories

Raising children now relied on the idea that the childs welfare rested mostly in the loving arms ofthe mother excluding the fathers role The idea of children born with Original Sin now evolved into the belief that babies were cherubs

In late 18th century male doctors replaced midwives bringing in the use of forceps surgical techniques and anesthesia Women were not allowed training in developing techniques so male doctors took over deliveries The poor flourished child abandonment was high and human misery was great Women died in great numbers and many children grew up without a mother (Browning Shelley Eliot etc) Women authors of the time were not mothers Almost no mothers created enduring literature

In the 19th century women lost their sex drive to their maternal instinct and the notion that women are biologically more suited to motherhood Women wanted babies and men wanted orgasms Women were seen as dominated by their wombs Sexual desire became the exclusive province of men and lower-class women

Early feminists didnt question womens role as mother They sought support structures for mothers to facilitate their double burden in the home and workplace They did not seek more involvement by the father or sharing ofthe workload with him Abstinence was pushed since feminists thought birth control

creature

Throughout most of history mothers have devoted more time to other duties than to child care and have delegated aspects of child rearshying to others The Myths of Motherhood

might make women mere playthings and more not less dependent on men In the late 19th century the birth rate plunged probably attributable to birth

control although no one talked about it Women could now expect to survive childbirth Children were now viewed as needing loving care and bottle-feeding became safe Women came to believe that like Nora in A Dolls House I no longer believe that (first I am a wife and mother) I believe that before all else I am a human being

20th Century Mom-Fall from Grace Scientific Mom 1900-1940

Mom got her sex drive back as well as the vote but she lost her poetry Her hair and skirts were clipped and so were her Angels wings She was brought down from the pedestal of purity and domesticity The rise of science was the impetus for a womans fall from grace Maternal instinct was no longer enough to raise a childmdashone needed electricity x-rays sulfa drugs the telephone the car movies and many laborsaving devices (in place of servants)

Mothers started using thermometers formulas charts and schedules which gave them an aura of professionalism The New Woman became independent assertive and pleasure-hungry as growing numbers filled the reform movement Women had fewer children and were attending college Husbands and wives were not only lovers but also friends Child study became a sound scientific discipline Mothers tracked babies character traits habits speech etc for studies They had to follow experts as well as monitor their children Strict schedules were in and toilet training started at two to three months Empathic Mom 1940-1980

Once mothers discovered they had been sold a bill of goods (a burdensome unperformable guilt-inducing myth of motherhood) they reduced the number of children born The birthrate went from four to two children per family

No matter what a mother did during the first year ofa childs life she was held responsible for the childs miseries Child-rearing ideas turned 180 degrees and cuddly round-the-clock permissiveness became the norm Formerly suppressed children could now have free rein It was a time the world was reinventing itself after totalitarian insurgence in Germany and Russia and now the free world wanted its children to be free Repression and conflict had becomodirty words Mothers schedule revolved around the child not the other way around Moms read manuals overindulged in buying baby products and saw dads role increase in importance

Reinventing the Myth 1980-90 In this decade 70 percent of educated mothers are in the labor force This

generation is ambitious which is not a maternal trait When a woman nurtures her young the behavior expresses a womans biological nature but when nurturing acts are performed by men it is seen as extraordinary Nurturance provided by houseshykeepers child-care workers or teachers has low value in the marketplace

It is a time of vertigo for women Since most women in the past (except for some time in the 1950s) have not been full-time caregivers we would have to presume that most children are damaged Scientific research on day care has not proved this true (No one knows for sure what is best for children)

The fetus is now usurping the mother in public consciousness most likely from newly-developing reproductive technologies Yet it is a time when womens identities are expanding They are marrying later using contraceptives and abortion having fewer or no children and entering the labor force in high percentages

Women are now finding a voice in literature Women are mentors but they make mistakes They are not wholly fulfilled by motherhood and some are ambivashylent about children Thirty thousand years after her birth mother is leaving the realm of mythology and joing the human race or more accurately rejoining it after the patriarchal takeover Its about time

For thousands of years because ofher awesome ability to spew forth a child mother has been feared and revered She has been the subject of taboos and witch-hunts mandatory pregnancy and confinement She has been the subject of glorious painting chivalry and idealization Through it all she has rarely been consulted She has been an object not a subject

Feature material on these two pages has been compiled by Arlene Goetze

Credits Excerpted from The Myths of

Motherhood How Culture Reinvents the Good Mother by Shari L Thurer Houghton Mifflin Co NY 1994

Shari L Thurer is a professor at BostonUniversity and a psychoanalyticalty trained psychologist with a private practice She has published widely in scholarly journals on the concept of the good mother She lives in Boston with her husband and daughter

Amazing Grace Charlotte Attebery

Did you call

ltpaae 12 Qfetwork for (Womens Spirituality ltJuneguly^ugust 2002

ituaC

Charlotte Attebery

Sacred Pampering to nourish self

Pampering is not self-serving Its conscious self-service

Debrena Jackson Gandy

Pampering is an art which transshyformational speaker Debrena Jackson Gandy learned from her mother Whether her mom was taking her bath bubble soak in the tub or digging deep in her fruitful vegetable garden Debrena learned the skill of doing what brings joy And she has written a delightful book Sacred Pampering Principles as a guide for self-care and inner renewal for African-American women

Pampering is not the same as grooming it is not about adding more things to the to do list in already full lives Pampering is about making a shift to integrate experiences and make more choices which bring one joy peace and pleasure

Debrena challenges the Strong Black Women Syndrome (SBW) and the ingrained images of powerful Mammie and Aunt Jemima which emerged from the days of slavery Mammie was the superlative nurturer the omnipotent caregiver the shoulder for everyone to lean on

This book is written for women who are overextended and here are some of its recommendations Criteria for pampering

The experience is one in which you are the primary beneficiary The experience brings you joy and increases your inner peace The experience nurtures your body mind and spirit A first step toward self-service is to identify your Pampering Gremlinsmdash

the reasons or excuses you give for not tending to yourself These may be your job children family responsibilities laziness lack of time etc

Pampering principles for the Spirit (here are four ofher 12) In this book the soul is considered the center ofyour Essence the core of

your unique being and the spirit is the vital life-giving Godforce that infuses and fills the physical body 1 Fall in love with yourself Like the song we often look for love in the wrong places We look for love outside ourselves We need to first love ourselves with all our flaws and past mistakes 2 Get acquainted with yourself Separate yourself from your name your house your job and all titles you wear Stare at yourself in the mirror and look into yourself rather than at yourself Listen to what is inside you 3 Innercise Toiling up your Spirit This means working on yourself from the inside out It requires self-reflection for inner growth Our ego directs us to defensiveness anger jealousy gossiping conceit and dishonesty Innercise helps us move through these issues and see where we are in need of more love and spiritual work in our lives A simple formula is Pause reflect assess realize learn integrate = Innercise 4 Spirit-nourishing tools Building a house requires supplies (lumber screws cement) and tools (hammer level and saw) Supplies are consumed in the house but tools assist us in building the house Tools include breathing meditation prayer in many forms quiet time and journaling

Pampering Principles for the Body (here are 4 of 12) Your body is your divine packaging There are no trade-ins One per life

Many treat their bodies as if they re practice models a test run Why do we have so many parts we cant accept We are often stuck in the If only my stomach was flatter or my skin were clearer These put our lives on hold Women spend amazing amounts of time energy and money finding ways to camouflage bodily inadequacies 1 Your Body Temple Be at home in your bodymdashit is a temple of God where the Spirit lives Women are often rooted in the pain of thinking their bodies are not okay To be at home requires making peace with our bodies accepting them and affirming them vlaquo 2 Create Sacred Spaces and Places To counter the erosive affects of contemposhyrary living we need to make sacred places where we can relax nurture and love our bodies Here we can make a sacred altar and create sacred ritualsmdashinvite a friend in for a friendship ritual celebrate empowerment gratitude etc alone or with others 3 Create an in-house spa Forego the quick shower for a relaxing bath Egyptian women have bathed at the Nile and Roman women luxuriated in the social settings of lengthy baths Bathing for therapeutic purposes is an art that needs reviving Bring in essential oils for different effects Chamomile for calming Eucalyptus for energy balancing frankincense for revitalizing and lavender for healing 4 Laying On of Hands the Power of Touch Being touched increases health and vitality Pamper yourself with self-massage but also with some of the healing techniques of massage Reiki acupressure reflexology and rolfing

Excerpted from Sacred Pampering Principles An African-American Womans Guide to Self-Care and Inner Renewal Debrena Jackson Gandy William Morrow amp Co NY 1997

This is a truly delightful book and coach to lead readers to pamper themselves to renew and rejuvenate both body and spirit Pamper yourself with a copy for many uplifting ideas

Womens Rites

Connect with Mentors and Mothers

by Sandra Sherman OSU

Setting If alone - a comfortable place to sit with a table or space in which to light candles If in a group - a place large enough for all to sit it a circle with space in the center for lighting candles Several small candles or vigil lights Tape or CD Player Room for walking

If in a group sit it a circle If alone sit in the circle ofyour imagination

Take some quiet time to recall the names and faces of women both living and deshyceased who have mothered nurtured mentored you physically emotionally mentally and spiritually (Play quiet music during this time)

Invite the women who come to mind one at a time aloud by name to join you in the circle Include in your verbal invitation the way in which each woman mothered nurtured or mentored you

Use a formula something like this Name of Woman who nurtured my spirit when it needed feeding I welcome your presence here now Do this for each of the women you wish to invite

If in a group take turns letting each woman name one individual as she feels moved to do so

As you name each woman light a small candle to represent her presence and set in front of you in a small circle ifyou are alone and in the center of the large circle ifyou are in a group

Sit for a while in silence absorbing the light of those who have responded to your

As you name each woman light a small candle to represhysent her presence

invitation Play a song that symbolizes for you what

one of your mother-mentors might say or the gift which she gave you (Some suggesshytions are You Light Up My Life Ann Murray or Hope You Dance LeeAnn Womack)

Stand now and walk meditatively folshylowing in the footsteps of your mother-mentors one at a time How does each move Where does she lead you

If alone end by blowing out each candle and as you do so let the person whom the candle represents bless you What would she say to you

If in a group hold hands in the circle and allow each woman to speak aloud the blessings which her mother-mentors send her When she is finished she blows out the candles which represent them

End with a blessing for each other or with a possible circle dance (suggested is Woman Divine Messenger Europe II reshycording or All You Teachers of the Light Euorope III recording - Dances of Univershysal Peace can be found on web at wwwDancesOfUniversalPeaceorg)

Sandra Jean Sherman OSU is a leader of ritual sacred dance artist and leader ofthe Dances of Universal Peace

Society fails at day care not mothers Starting in the late 1980s day care beshy

came the new dragon in the mothers guilt pack Infants placed in day care were said to be harmed by insecure attachment to their mothers with greater aggressiveness and noncompliance in early childhood

A study by Jay Belsky was found inadshyequate but the continual preaching from the baby gurus (Brazelton Dr Spock etc) and the chorus of magazine articles enshytrenched the attachment theory in Amerishycan conscienceness

Few studies in this area corroborated with other research Each had so many variables that it is nearly impossible to draw broad conclusions on the small numshyber of study subjects

The concept of attachment has become a tool for simplifying the moral dilemmas faced by social workers and the legal sysshytem Attachment of the child is a key factor Behind the mother blaming writes Diane Eyer in her book Motherguilt is the nasty reality No one want to pay for the care of our young children Instead of making child care a priority in this country castigating mothers is the useful smokescreen

American child care is definitely someshything to feel guilty about and it is not mothers who should feel this guilt Women have cobbled together a system flawed as it is as a way to provide for their families welfare

It is no surprise that American child care is the worst in the Western world A 1995 study of 400 child care centers were found to threaten childrens proper growth and education Workers are paid low wages and centers have a 42 percent turnover rate

It really takes a village to raise a child Psychological research hasbeenso focused on mothercare to the extent of other care

American child care is the worst in the Western world amp women are not to blame

that it has woefully failed parents and children Exclusive mothercare is a social anomaly in human history Multiple care-taking is common in societies that show a great deal of concern for children Where mothers alone are charged with child care more neglect appears

Multiple caregiving is here to stay yet there are few adequate guidelines for its organization or even acceptance in conshytemporary America Most other countries in Europe Scandinavia Canada Israel and Japan view child care as a collective responsibility and public funds are allotshyted to subsidize both individual family and collective child care

Universal subsidized preschool for chilshydren from 30 months to six years has clearly emerged as the policy choices ofthe advanced industrial nations

In more than 100 countries women get three months of paid maternalpaternal leave and up to six to 12 months in Euroshypean and Scandinavian countries

Mothers today should be congratulated for the hard task of mothering and working with such little support Blaming them for the ills ofa changing society is scapegoating of the most superstitious kind

If we as a society are to live well we must all become like mothers Only then can we truly understand motherguilt

Condensed form Motherguilt Diane Eyer PhD Times Books Random House 1996 Eyer is author of Mother-Infant Bonding A Scienshytific Fiction and has taught psychology at the U Of Pennsylvania and Rutgers

fluneflulyAuRUst 2002 Network for Womens Spirituality fr11

z Evolution of

tlolherititi Early Modern MommdashFather knows best - 1500-1700

While Shakespeare wrote and Rembrandt painted witches were burned Between 60000 to 200000 women were pricked racked and strappadoed (a torture similar to bungee jumping) on trumped-up charges until they confessed to being witches at which point they were burned at the stake The witch hunts were not during the Dark Ages but during the age of rationalism and scientific revolution In America only 36 women were burned as witches in Salem but the witch craze in Europe was an equal opportunity destroyer of women All grown women were vulnerable and the only exception was for good mothers

Motherhood had come a long way since the Middle Ages when virginity was the more prestigious calling Now maternity was the price of admission to heaven There was no other way to be a good Christian woman than to give birth Family values were invented praised and propagandized

This was an era of sweeping economic and political changes A middle class emerged as peasants moved to cities Early capitalism legitimated people s self-interest and seeds ofthe nuclear family began to sprout Private homes replaced public households Marriage was dignified especially by the Puritans Martin Luther proclaimed marriage a holy thing Marriage was superior to burning and better than celibacy Parents started consulting their children before arranging their marriages

Marriage extolled by Luther and the Protestants was not a partnership model but one based on patriarchy Many fathers ruled as despots and child beatings were considered good parenting The good mother was pious obedient chaste and silent Here began the second shift mentality with women working for wages since domestic work was not considered work Child raising was taken more seriously but children were still sent away to be wet-nursed and trained young as apprentices

It was the bad mothermdashthe unwed sexually-active mother who triggered virulent hatred in her society and was marginalized (In 1500 there was a surplus of women and 40 percent did not marry)

In art the mother image disappeared St Joseph replaced Mary the perfect obedient wife and Protestants tore down Marys portrait altogether in a campaign against images The Reformation dismembered the Virgin leaving her nurturing motherhood but transferring her sexuality to Eve The witch craze came in and witches were scapegoats for all problems related to childbearing For male impotence a woman was burned Witches not men were blamed for illegitimate children

Mostiy witches were accused of having extra breasts by which they nurtured evil Witch hunters sucked on warts birthmarks and freckles on women to see if they were teats and often claimed they were Midwives particularly were a target of witch hunts since they were a threat to male physicians Childbirth was so difficult that many women prepared for their death as they prepared for their delivery

In the medieval world both parents were punished by the church for infantishycidemdashmaybe a few days in the stocks In this world the church zeroed in on mothers with a vengeance especially unwed mothers who were tortured beheaded or otherwise killed

18th and 19th Century MommdashExaltation of Mother After being considered as devils a century earlier mothers now became

angels ofthe house Home was a safe haven with mother as presider the true woman virtuous gentle devoted and asexual who guided her children and tended her husband The Industrial Revolution came along and shattered the traditional structure ofthe family Agrarian life was destroyed and work in the factories sucked up human labor The family changed from a productive unit to a consumer unit Dads role faded as mothers role increased Dad worked long hours in a factory and families started buying ready-made products i-ffM

Clergy poets and politicians put mother on a pedestal She was the balm for the troubled worldmdashthe safe home vs the cruel outside world Womens work in the home became invisible Artists starting painting happy mothers and Mother Goose appeared with her stories

Raising children now relied on the idea that the childs welfare rested mostly in the loving arms ofthe mother excluding the fathers role The idea of children born with Original Sin now evolved into the belief that babies were cherubs

In late 18th century male doctors replaced midwives bringing in the use of forceps surgical techniques and anesthesia Women were not allowed training in developing techniques so male doctors took over deliveries The poor flourished child abandonment was high and human misery was great Women died in great numbers and many children grew up without a mother (Browning Shelley Eliot etc) Women authors of the time were not mothers Almost no mothers created enduring literature

In the 19th century women lost their sex drive to their maternal instinct and the notion that women are biologically more suited to motherhood Women wanted babies and men wanted orgasms Women were seen as dominated by their wombs Sexual desire became the exclusive province of men and lower-class women

Early feminists didnt question womens role as mother They sought support structures for mothers to facilitate their double burden in the home and workplace They did not seek more involvement by the father or sharing ofthe workload with him Abstinence was pushed since feminists thought birth control

creature

Throughout most of history mothers have devoted more time to other duties than to child care and have delegated aspects of child rearshying to others The Myths of Motherhood

might make women mere playthings and more not less dependent on men In the late 19th century the birth rate plunged probably attributable to birth

control although no one talked about it Women could now expect to survive childbirth Children were now viewed as needing loving care and bottle-feeding became safe Women came to believe that like Nora in A Dolls House I no longer believe that (first I am a wife and mother) I believe that before all else I am a human being

20th Century Mom-Fall from Grace Scientific Mom 1900-1940

Mom got her sex drive back as well as the vote but she lost her poetry Her hair and skirts were clipped and so were her Angels wings She was brought down from the pedestal of purity and domesticity The rise of science was the impetus for a womans fall from grace Maternal instinct was no longer enough to raise a childmdashone needed electricity x-rays sulfa drugs the telephone the car movies and many laborsaving devices (in place of servants)

Mothers started using thermometers formulas charts and schedules which gave them an aura of professionalism The New Woman became independent assertive and pleasure-hungry as growing numbers filled the reform movement Women had fewer children and were attending college Husbands and wives were not only lovers but also friends Child study became a sound scientific discipline Mothers tracked babies character traits habits speech etc for studies They had to follow experts as well as monitor their children Strict schedules were in and toilet training started at two to three months Empathic Mom 1940-1980

Once mothers discovered they had been sold a bill of goods (a burdensome unperformable guilt-inducing myth of motherhood) they reduced the number of children born The birthrate went from four to two children per family

No matter what a mother did during the first year ofa childs life she was held responsible for the childs miseries Child-rearing ideas turned 180 degrees and cuddly round-the-clock permissiveness became the norm Formerly suppressed children could now have free rein It was a time the world was reinventing itself after totalitarian insurgence in Germany and Russia and now the free world wanted its children to be free Repression and conflict had becomodirty words Mothers schedule revolved around the child not the other way around Moms read manuals overindulged in buying baby products and saw dads role increase in importance

Reinventing the Myth 1980-90 In this decade 70 percent of educated mothers are in the labor force This

generation is ambitious which is not a maternal trait When a woman nurtures her young the behavior expresses a womans biological nature but when nurturing acts are performed by men it is seen as extraordinary Nurturance provided by houseshykeepers child-care workers or teachers has low value in the marketplace

It is a time of vertigo for women Since most women in the past (except for some time in the 1950s) have not been full-time caregivers we would have to presume that most children are damaged Scientific research on day care has not proved this true (No one knows for sure what is best for children)

The fetus is now usurping the mother in public consciousness most likely from newly-developing reproductive technologies Yet it is a time when womens identities are expanding They are marrying later using contraceptives and abortion having fewer or no children and entering the labor force in high percentages

Women are now finding a voice in literature Women are mentors but they make mistakes They are not wholly fulfilled by motherhood and some are ambivashylent about children Thirty thousand years after her birth mother is leaving the realm of mythology and joing the human race or more accurately rejoining it after the patriarchal takeover Its about time

For thousands of years because ofher awesome ability to spew forth a child mother has been feared and revered She has been the subject of taboos and witch-hunts mandatory pregnancy and confinement She has been the subject of glorious painting chivalry and idealization Through it all she has rarely been consulted She has been an object not a subject

Feature material on these two pages has been compiled by Arlene Goetze

Credits Excerpted from The Myths of

Motherhood How Culture Reinvents the Good Mother by Shari L Thurer Houghton Mifflin Co NY 1994

Shari L Thurer is a professor at BostonUniversity and a psychoanalyticalty trained psychologist with a private practice She has published widely in scholarly journals on the concept of the good mother She lives in Boston with her husband and daughter

Amazing Grace Charlotte Attebery

Did you call

ltpaae 12 Qfetwork for (Womens Spirituality ltJuneguly^ugust 2002

ituaC

Charlotte Attebery

Sacred Pampering to nourish self

Pampering is not self-serving Its conscious self-service

Debrena Jackson Gandy

Pampering is an art which transshyformational speaker Debrena Jackson Gandy learned from her mother Whether her mom was taking her bath bubble soak in the tub or digging deep in her fruitful vegetable garden Debrena learned the skill of doing what brings joy And she has written a delightful book Sacred Pampering Principles as a guide for self-care and inner renewal for African-American women

Pampering is not the same as grooming it is not about adding more things to the to do list in already full lives Pampering is about making a shift to integrate experiences and make more choices which bring one joy peace and pleasure

Debrena challenges the Strong Black Women Syndrome (SBW) and the ingrained images of powerful Mammie and Aunt Jemima which emerged from the days of slavery Mammie was the superlative nurturer the omnipotent caregiver the shoulder for everyone to lean on

This book is written for women who are overextended and here are some of its recommendations Criteria for pampering

The experience is one in which you are the primary beneficiary The experience brings you joy and increases your inner peace The experience nurtures your body mind and spirit A first step toward self-service is to identify your Pampering Gremlinsmdash

the reasons or excuses you give for not tending to yourself These may be your job children family responsibilities laziness lack of time etc

Pampering principles for the Spirit (here are four ofher 12) In this book the soul is considered the center ofyour Essence the core of

your unique being and the spirit is the vital life-giving Godforce that infuses and fills the physical body 1 Fall in love with yourself Like the song we often look for love in the wrong places We look for love outside ourselves We need to first love ourselves with all our flaws and past mistakes 2 Get acquainted with yourself Separate yourself from your name your house your job and all titles you wear Stare at yourself in the mirror and look into yourself rather than at yourself Listen to what is inside you 3 Innercise Toiling up your Spirit This means working on yourself from the inside out It requires self-reflection for inner growth Our ego directs us to defensiveness anger jealousy gossiping conceit and dishonesty Innercise helps us move through these issues and see where we are in need of more love and spiritual work in our lives A simple formula is Pause reflect assess realize learn integrate = Innercise 4 Spirit-nourishing tools Building a house requires supplies (lumber screws cement) and tools (hammer level and saw) Supplies are consumed in the house but tools assist us in building the house Tools include breathing meditation prayer in many forms quiet time and journaling

Pampering Principles for the Body (here are 4 of 12) Your body is your divine packaging There are no trade-ins One per life

Many treat their bodies as if they re practice models a test run Why do we have so many parts we cant accept We are often stuck in the If only my stomach was flatter or my skin were clearer These put our lives on hold Women spend amazing amounts of time energy and money finding ways to camouflage bodily inadequacies 1 Your Body Temple Be at home in your bodymdashit is a temple of God where the Spirit lives Women are often rooted in the pain of thinking their bodies are not okay To be at home requires making peace with our bodies accepting them and affirming them vlaquo 2 Create Sacred Spaces and Places To counter the erosive affects of contemposhyrary living we need to make sacred places where we can relax nurture and love our bodies Here we can make a sacred altar and create sacred ritualsmdashinvite a friend in for a friendship ritual celebrate empowerment gratitude etc alone or with others 3 Create an in-house spa Forego the quick shower for a relaxing bath Egyptian women have bathed at the Nile and Roman women luxuriated in the social settings of lengthy baths Bathing for therapeutic purposes is an art that needs reviving Bring in essential oils for different effects Chamomile for calming Eucalyptus for energy balancing frankincense for revitalizing and lavender for healing 4 Laying On of Hands the Power of Touch Being touched increases health and vitality Pamper yourself with self-massage but also with some of the healing techniques of massage Reiki acupressure reflexology and rolfing

Excerpted from Sacred Pampering Principles An African-American Womans Guide to Self-Care and Inner Renewal Debrena Jackson Gandy William Morrow amp Co NY 1997

This is a truly delightful book and coach to lead readers to pamper themselves to renew and rejuvenate both body and spirit Pamper yourself with a copy for many uplifting ideas

Womens Rites

Connect with Mentors and Mothers

by Sandra Sherman OSU

Setting If alone - a comfortable place to sit with a table or space in which to light candles If in a group - a place large enough for all to sit it a circle with space in the center for lighting candles Several small candles or vigil lights Tape or CD Player Room for walking

If in a group sit it a circle If alone sit in the circle ofyour imagination

Take some quiet time to recall the names and faces of women both living and deshyceased who have mothered nurtured mentored you physically emotionally mentally and spiritually (Play quiet music during this time)

Invite the women who come to mind one at a time aloud by name to join you in the circle Include in your verbal invitation the way in which each woman mothered nurtured or mentored you

Use a formula something like this Name of Woman who nurtured my spirit when it needed feeding I welcome your presence here now Do this for each of the women you wish to invite

If in a group take turns letting each woman name one individual as she feels moved to do so

As you name each woman light a small candle to represent her presence and set in front of you in a small circle ifyou are alone and in the center of the large circle ifyou are in a group

Sit for a while in silence absorbing the light of those who have responded to your

As you name each woman light a small candle to represhysent her presence

invitation Play a song that symbolizes for you what

one of your mother-mentors might say or the gift which she gave you (Some suggesshytions are You Light Up My Life Ann Murray or Hope You Dance LeeAnn Womack)

Stand now and walk meditatively folshylowing in the footsteps of your mother-mentors one at a time How does each move Where does she lead you

If alone end by blowing out each candle and as you do so let the person whom the candle represents bless you What would she say to you

If in a group hold hands in the circle and allow each woman to speak aloud the blessings which her mother-mentors send her When she is finished she blows out the candles which represent them

End with a blessing for each other or with a possible circle dance (suggested is Woman Divine Messenger Europe II reshycording or All You Teachers of the Light Euorope III recording - Dances of Univershysal Peace can be found on web at wwwDancesOfUniversalPeaceorg)

Sandra Jean Sherman OSU is a leader of ritual sacred dance artist and leader ofthe Dances of Universal Peace

Society fails at day care not mothers Starting in the late 1980s day care beshy

came the new dragon in the mothers guilt pack Infants placed in day care were said to be harmed by insecure attachment to their mothers with greater aggressiveness and noncompliance in early childhood

A study by Jay Belsky was found inadshyequate but the continual preaching from the baby gurus (Brazelton Dr Spock etc) and the chorus of magazine articles enshytrenched the attachment theory in Amerishycan conscienceness

Few studies in this area corroborated with other research Each had so many variables that it is nearly impossible to draw broad conclusions on the small numshyber of study subjects

The concept of attachment has become a tool for simplifying the moral dilemmas faced by social workers and the legal sysshytem Attachment of the child is a key factor Behind the mother blaming writes Diane Eyer in her book Motherguilt is the nasty reality No one want to pay for the care of our young children Instead of making child care a priority in this country castigating mothers is the useful smokescreen

American child care is definitely someshything to feel guilty about and it is not mothers who should feel this guilt Women have cobbled together a system flawed as it is as a way to provide for their families welfare

It is no surprise that American child care is the worst in the Western world A 1995 study of 400 child care centers were found to threaten childrens proper growth and education Workers are paid low wages and centers have a 42 percent turnover rate

It really takes a village to raise a child Psychological research hasbeenso focused on mothercare to the extent of other care

American child care is the worst in the Western world amp women are not to blame

that it has woefully failed parents and children Exclusive mothercare is a social anomaly in human history Multiple care-taking is common in societies that show a great deal of concern for children Where mothers alone are charged with child care more neglect appears

Multiple caregiving is here to stay yet there are few adequate guidelines for its organization or even acceptance in conshytemporary America Most other countries in Europe Scandinavia Canada Israel and Japan view child care as a collective responsibility and public funds are allotshyted to subsidize both individual family and collective child care

Universal subsidized preschool for chilshydren from 30 months to six years has clearly emerged as the policy choices ofthe advanced industrial nations

In more than 100 countries women get three months of paid maternalpaternal leave and up to six to 12 months in Euroshypean and Scandinavian countries

Mothers today should be congratulated for the hard task of mothering and working with such little support Blaming them for the ills ofa changing society is scapegoating of the most superstitious kind

If we as a society are to live well we must all become like mothers Only then can we truly understand motherguilt

Condensed form Motherguilt Diane Eyer PhD Times Books Random House 1996 Eyer is author of Mother-Infant Bonding A Scienshytific Fiction and has taught psychology at the U Of Pennsylvania and Rutgers

ltpaae 12 Qfetwork for (Womens Spirituality ltJuneguly^ugust 2002

ituaC

Charlotte Attebery

Sacred Pampering to nourish self

Pampering is not self-serving Its conscious self-service

Debrena Jackson Gandy

Pampering is an art which transshyformational speaker Debrena Jackson Gandy learned from her mother Whether her mom was taking her bath bubble soak in the tub or digging deep in her fruitful vegetable garden Debrena learned the skill of doing what brings joy And she has written a delightful book Sacred Pampering Principles as a guide for self-care and inner renewal for African-American women

Pampering is not the same as grooming it is not about adding more things to the to do list in already full lives Pampering is about making a shift to integrate experiences and make more choices which bring one joy peace and pleasure

Debrena challenges the Strong Black Women Syndrome (SBW) and the ingrained images of powerful Mammie and Aunt Jemima which emerged from the days of slavery Mammie was the superlative nurturer the omnipotent caregiver the shoulder for everyone to lean on

This book is written for women who are overextended and here are some of its recommendations Criteria for pampering

The experience is one in which you are the primary beneficiary The experience brings you joy and increases your inner peace The experience nurtures your body mind and spirit A first step toward self-service is to identify your Pampering Gremlinsmdash

the reasons or excuses you give for not tending to yourself These may be your job children family responsibilities laziness lack of time etc

Pampering principles for the Spirit (here are four ofher 12) In this book the soul is considered the center ofyour Essence the core of

your unique being and the spirit is the vital life-giving Godforce that infuses and fills the physical body 1 Fall in love with yourself Like the song we often look for love in the wrong places We look for love outside ourselves We need to first love ourselves with all our flaws and past mistakes 2 Get acquainted with yourself Separate yourself from your name your house your job and all titles you wear Stare at yourself in the mirror and look into yourself rather than at yourself Listen to what is inside you 3 Innercise Toiling up your Spirit This means working on yourself from the inside out It requires self-reflection for inner growth Our ego directs us to defensiveness anger jealousy gossiping conceit and dishonesty Innercise helps us move through these issues and see where we are in need of more love and spiritual work in our lives A simple formula is Pause reflect assess realize learn integrate = Innercise 4 Spirit-nourishing tools Building a house requires supplies (lumber screws cement) and tools (hammer level and saw) Supplies are consumed in the house but tools assist us in building the house Tools include breathing meditation prayer in many forms quiet time and journaling

Pampering Principles for the Body (here are 4 of 12) Your body is your divine packaging There are no trade-ins One per life

Many treat their bodies as if they re practice models a test run Why do we have so many parts we cant accept We are often stuck in the If only my stomach was flatter or my skin were clearer These put our lives on hold Women spend amazing amounts of time energy and money finding ways to camouflage bodily inadequacies 1 Your Body Temple Be at home in your bodymdashit is a temple of God where the Spirit lives Women are often rooted in the pain of thinking their bodies are not okay To be at home requires making peace with our bodies accepting them and affirming them vlaquo 2 Create Sacred Spaces and Places To counter the erosive affects of contemposhyrary living we need to make sacred places where we can relax nurture and love our bodies Here we can make a sacred altar and create sacred ritualsmdashinvite a friend in for a friendship ritual celebrate empowerment gratitude etc alone or with others 3 Create an in-house spa Forego the quick shower for a relaxing bath Egyptian women have bathed at the Nile and Roman women luxuriated in the social settings of lengthy baths Bathing for therapeutic purposes is an art that needs reviving Bring in essential oils for different effects Chamomile for calming Eucalyptus for energy balancing frankincense for revitalizing and lavender for healing 4 Laying On of Hands the Power of Touch Being touched increases health and vitality Pamper yourself with self-massage but also with some of the healing techniques of massage Reiki acupressure reflexology and rolfing

Excerpted from Sacred Pampering Principles An African-American Womans Guide to Self-Care and Inner Renewal Debrena Jackson Gandy William Morrow amp Co NY 1997

This is a truly delightful book and coach to lead readers to pamper themselves to renew and rejuvenate both body and spirit Pamper yourself with a copy for many uplifting ideas

Womens Rites

Connect with Mentors and Mothers

by Sandra Sherman OSU

Setting If alone - a comfortable place to sit with a table or space in which to light candles If in a group - a place large enough for all to sit it a circle with space in the center for lighting candles Several small candles or vigil lights Tape or CD Player Room for walking

If in a group sit it a circle If alone sit in the circle ofyour imagination

Take some quiet time to recall the names and faces of women both living and deshyceased who have mothered nurtured mentored you physically emotionally mentally and spiritually (Play quiet music during this time)

Invite the women who come to mind one at a time aloud by name to join you in the circle Include in your verbal invitation the way in which each woman mothered nurtured or mentored you

Use a formula something like this Name of Woman who nurtured my spirit when it needed feeding I welcome your presence here now Do this for each of the women you wish to invite

If in a group take turns letting each woman name one individual as she feels moved to do so

As you name each woman light a small candle to represent her presence and set in front of you in a small circle ifyou are alone and in the center of the large circle ifyou are in a group

Sit for a while in silence absorbing the light of those who have responded to your

As you name each woman light a small candle to represhysent her presence

invitation Play a song that symbolizes for you what

one of your mother-mentors might say or the gift which she gave you (Some suggesshytions are You Light Up My Life Ann Murray or Hope You Dance LeeAnn Womack)

Stand now and walk meditatively folshylowing in the footsteps of your mother-mentors one at a time How does each move Where does she lead you

If alone end by blowing out each candle and as you do so let the person whom the candle represents bless you What would she say to you

If in a group hold hands in the circle and allow each woman to speak aloud the blessings which her mother-mentors send her When she is finished she blows out the candles which represent them

End with a blessing for each other or with a possible circle dance (suggested is Woman Divine Messenger Europe II reshycording or All You Teachers of the Light Euorope III recording - Dances of Univershysal Peace can be found on web at wwwDancesOfUniversalPeaceorg)

Sandra Jean Sherman OSU is a leader of ritual sacred dance artist and leader ofthe Dances of Universal Peace

Society fails at day care not mothers Starting in the late 1980s day care beshy

came the new dragon in the mothers guilt pack Infants placed in day care were said to be harmed by insecure attachment to their mothers with greater aggressiveness and noncompliance in early childhood

A study by Jay Belsky was found inadshyequate but the continual preaching from the baby gurus (Brazelton Dr Spock etc) and the chorus of magazine articles enshytrenched the attachment theory in Amerishycan conscienceness

Few studies in this area corroborated with other research Each had so many variables that it is nearly impossible to draw broad conclusions on the small numshyber of study subjects

The concept of attachment has become a tool for simplifying the moral dilemmas faced by social workers and the legal sysshytem Attachment of the child is a key factor Behind the mother blaming writes Diane Eyer in her book Motherguilt is the nasty reality No one want to pay for the care of our young children Instead of making child care a priority in this country castigating mothers is the useful smokescreen

American child care is definitely someshything to feel guilty about and it is not mothers who should feel this guilt Women have cobbled together a system flawed as it is as a way to provide for their families welfare

It is no surprise that American child care is the worst in the Western world A 1995 study of 400 child care centers were found to threaten childrens proper growth and education Workers are paid low wages and centers have a 42 percent turnover rate

It really takes a village to raise a child Psychological research hasbeenso focused on mothercare to the extent of other care

American child care is the worst in the Western world amp women are not to blame

that it has woefully failed parents and children Exclusive mothercare is a social anomaly in human history Multiple care-taking is common in societies that show a great deal of concern for children Where mothers alone are charged with child care more neglect appears

Multiple caregiving is here to stay yet there are few adequate guidelines for its organization or even acceptance in conshytemporary America Most other countries in Europe Scandinavia Canada Israel and Japan view child care as a collective responsibility and public funds are allotshyted to subsidize both individual family and collective child care

Universal subsidized preschool for chilshydren from 30 months to six years has clearly emerged as the policy choices ofthe advanced industrial nations

In more than 100 countries women get three months of paid maternalpaternal leave and up to six to 12 months in Euroshypean and Scandinavian countries

Mothers today should be congratulated for the hard task of mothering and working with such little support Blaming them for the ills ofa changing society is scapegoating of the most superstitious kind

If we as a society are to live well we must all become like mothers Only then can we truly understand motherguilt

Condensed form Motherguilt Diane Eyer PhD Times Books Random House 1996 Eyer is author of Mother-Infant Bonding A Scienshytific Fiction and has taught psychology at the U Of Pennsylvania and Rutgers

fluneflulyAwiust 2002 Qjetwork for Womens Spirituality laquoe 13

(Nurturing ___pound Cfife Nurturing through loss

As a 72-year-old woman I have recently been mothered nurtured sustained and given life by my grown children extended family and my Christian women family

My husband of 40 years died in January and in a very few days I was diagnosed with breast cancer Within six weeks I had lost my husband and my breast

It was my daughter-in-law who took two weeks off from work to be with me during the day a son who moved in with me for six weeks another son who came daily My women friends prayed me through calling or visiting to encourage me and my family and I was fortunate to have a surgeon who prayed with and for me

I have been an independent woman and have been happily humbled by the love and caring of so many remarkable people I can thank them for what they have done but the real thanks is for the life-giving love they have shown

It has been their faith that strengthened my own Their ministry has truly returned life into my body mind and soul I shall forever be grateful

Joyce Prechtel Battle Creek MI

A good mother Did you feel more loved today I asked

my nine-year-old son the day after I acquishyesced to his request to lie next to him as he fell asleep

Yes he said Youve been a better mom today

How have I been better I inquired Youve been loving but you still try to

guide me to do the right things he replied

Ann Reigelman Danville CA

A day in the nursery Here is a real life story from a part of

Washington DC that most people dont know mdash or care about My wife Pat is a nurse working in the nursery at Greater SE Hospital one day a week

After her shift on Fri day and spending 90 minutes stock on the Beltway on the way home she told me about her day First she had a

baby whose mother was 12 years old The girl was in a double room with a woman who was trying to nurse her baby But four big guys in their late teens from the Hood came to visit the 12-year-old They were loud and rude and m-f ing every other word Pat stood up to them and told them three of them had to leave She didnt know how they got past security

Then she had a baby for a woman who was incarcerated She was in handcuffs and had two police guards Cousin asshysured Pat she would not be any trouble because the woman was to be released from jail in May

Next a mother called for her baby but Pat said she could not bring the baby because the baby was on a monitor for cocaine The mother really got angry and screamed at Pat that she was clean since May

Previous drug use by a mother requires a monitor on the baby So when the drug test came back negative Pat took the baby to the mother ~ who now was so happy she was in tears

Finally the woman who is CEO ofthe hospital and whose husband was killed on the plane into the Pentagon on Sept 11 came in to give out teddy bears and Christshymas gifts to new moms Pat told her that some women were still back in the delivery rooms The CEO said she would take care of them too

Happy ending Great day We opened a bottle of wine in spite of all medical advice to contrary

Joe Marrone Severna Park MD

Sisters-in-Detention For almost two years I have been deshy

tained in a county prison awaiting my trial Three things help me cope day-to-day my Christian faith support from my family friends and those on the street and the relationships with my sister inmates Women have incredible nurturing gifts and they set up support systems instantiy

My first few hours in the holding cell demonstrated this intense bond I found out that the reason I wasnt bothered negashytively by anyone was because ofa sister who decided to watch my back because I was fresh Now I look out for her when she needs help with legal questions

In that holding cell she made no proclashymation of what her intent was The cell was packed with four to six women during the few days I was there She set the tone for graciousness which was not present in other nearby cells

Its been a longjourney since that cell I was transferred to another facility and placed in isolation for nine months There were several women in this group who embraced me I learned expected behavior procedures and jail house life from their instruction

They shared with me memories photos and cards from those at home and they expressed the deep emotional pain of being cruelly parted from society We also played games that masked our frustrations We dried each others tears and constantly

struggled to find humor in the everyday routine They were better at it than I but I am stronger because of them

When I entered the regular population of the institution I had no fear but much anxiety But this time I had seen sister inmates living in a nurturing environment

Now I am on a unit with 99 other women in the regular population and cliques form here although I do not belong to one I am different and have slid into the maternal role on the unit I am referred to as Mom and I get along with all

I have seen many random acts of kindshynessmdashwomen give up their trays of food to someone new because she is hungrier than those of us able to buy in the commissary I have done this many times myself I learned mercy acts from the best

I have been on the receiving as well as giving end I have worked in the law library attended classes and tutored in the GED program I spend hours listening to tragedies counseling praying with my sisshyters and suggesting spiritual direction beshyhind these walls We encourage one anshyother and find hope in that I am a mom-in-the-storm to many of my sisters and I depend on them to be my mom-in-the-storm when my walk is too dark We live in a valley of tears and most days the only compassion we receive is from each other

Robyn Maloney-George MHS Philadelphia PA

Women of the Rock

For twenty-five years our commitshyment holds firm like the matter of our 32-ounce lavender amshyethyst crystal carefully selected at a San Francisco

gem shop in 1976 Amethyst was chosen

to protect against addicshytions and to support transshy

formation Two nurses an edushycator and a psychotherapist make

up the Women ofthe Rock From the beginning our mission was

clear and unanimous to support one anshyother in our respective ministries Rooted in the Roman Catholic tradition we first met in the early 1970s through Cursillo team formation

As we matured spiritually we added diversity to our prayer and spiritual pracshytice including Native American ritual Zen and Hindu meditations as well as prayers invoking the feminine face of God

One year we each had three hours to tell heartfelt narratives of our lives evoking laughter tears and the healing of memoshyries Childhood memorabilia included black and white snapshots of chubby toddlers dusty rag dolls and A+ report cards

After ten years of meeting in the Bay Area two of our members moved out of state Their relocation changed our monthly meetings to semi-annual gatherings Most important was to continue our retreat at the Catholic womens monastery For one week each year we enter into monastic life meditating in early morning matins chantshying the psalms praying vespers and compline following the rule of St Benedict

Our monastery time is spent relaxing reading reflecting journaling working in the organic garden eating simple vegetarshyian meals and practicing mindfulness To insure that we will respect one anothers silence at the Monastery we meet beforeshyhand at a nearby hotel for time to share the details of our lives

Our two days are filled with little sleep and much laughter On Monday morning we are ready to enter a week of solitude contemplation and minimal conversation

Our amethyst crystal which spends one quarter ofthe year at the home of each of the Women of the Rock has witnessed many changes We have overcome addicshytions and experienced transformation We have come together to marry our children and to bury our elderly parents and loved ones

Our hope is that every woman might be transformed by such a commumty of lovshying support

Sarah Seybold Mt View CA

Words from Wisdom Carrie McClish

Nurturersr dont talk they just listen

the woman CEO ofthe hospital whose husband was killed on the plane into the Pentagon came in to give out teddy bears to the infants

Joe Marrone

Facilitating womens stories For thirty-one years I have been involved

in an exciting program at Brescia Univershysity Owensboro Kentucky called the Conshytemporary Woman Program

In addition to teaching credit courses each semester I taught non-credit classes on Self-Esteem and Image Building Makshying Friends with Yourself or Contemposhyrary Women In 19951 retired from teaching the credit

classes and began to offer eight or ten non-credit classes each semester For several years I obtained grants so that women who were unable to pay tuition were able to participate of the classes especially the classes on Self-Esteem

The class titles touch on topics such as trauma of divorce legal issues aging phobias healing touch and wellness

These classes are held in a living roomshylike setting with a couch and chairs formshying a circle Wooden panels representing the seasons of the church year adorn the walls of the room

The coffee table in the center ofthe circle has a lighted candle reminding us that the Spirit is among us Many women who attend our programs consider this room a sacred space

It is a sacred space because of womens stories which have been shared here It is a place of tears healing growing and becoming place of love and friendship

I have been blessed with both giving and receiving nurturing and love in this proshygram Though there have been tough times over the years now at the age of 761 thank God every day for the blessings and richshyness that are mine as director of this proshygram

Marita GreenwellOSU Owensboro KY

Delight in religious life Have you ever watched little children

running around at recess They simply run and shriek What would it look like if adults experishy

enced such delight I can tell you what it is for me a woman religious belonging to a commumty of sisters and presently in ministry to a church which in spite of its glitches is one that I love

I delight in being a Sister of Notre Dame because I am continually challenged to look beyond the coziness ofa feel good spirituality to one that continually beckons me daily not only to read the San Jose Mercury News but to hear first hand the Good News about what our sisters are doing throughout the world in addressing the needs ofthe poor

At times I feel guilty thinking I should be working more directly with the poor here at home However the moral imperashytive that I place on myself has undergone conversion as I realize that as a sister in this family of Notre Dame I am with my sisters in international missions while I serve in parish ministry delighted to be here and there at the same time

In other words I feel gifted with a both and (rather than an eithoror) opportunity to express the goodness of God My shrieking and shouting unlike children is a bit inhibited yet my spirit runs free to holler at a pitch that resembles the deshylight they express bounding out to recess delighted just to be

Rosalie Pizzo SND Campbell CA

ffgge 14 Network for cWomen s Spirituality ^une^ulyAugust 2002

Columns From the Inside

Nurture in prisony ^^

by Jeri Becker

Nurturing is something I do a lot of in prison This is where I learned how

Nurturing is not something I got a lot of as a child What I did get was criticism rules discipline and a feeling that I was not very important in the grand scheme of things

I often felt in the way out of place unloved and uncherished Hugging touchshying and listening were things my parents didnt receive as children so did not know how to give as adults What I did learn from my childhood is what didn t work and what makes people feel lonely unworthy anxious and afraid

I never had children of my own I was still an emotionally-needy child in my late 20s when I came to prison Before I had anything at all to give someone else I had to leam to nurture myself and that couldnt happen as long as I was desperately seeking fulfillment outside myself

I looked for love and guidance from men who by their nature are not nurturers Women by their nature are I didnt realize I had all the resources within myself to be self-nurturing until God showed me that I did and how to draw them out

I asked God how one woman in prison could begin to nurture others in this sea of suffering and woundedness How does a mother nurture her children all demandshying crying and needy at the same time

Gods answer was simple just do what you can using your feminine intushyition Start where there is the greatest need And so I did Hand to Hand Last night a new arrival came to ask a question I saw her longingly eyeing the packets of stale peanut butter and crackers (rejected from institutional lunch boxes) on my desk When I offered them to her the look in her eyes and her unabashed gratitude told me it had been far too long since anyone had given this woman something and asked nothing in return

After thanking me she said Me and my bunkie are going to have a feast Now she had enough to share Hands On It is not uncommon here to meet women suffering such deep-seated inexpressible emotional pain that it manishyfests itself in real excruciating skeletal and muscular pam I cannot reach in and heal a broken heart but I can rub a back or massage a shoulder Last week in Yoga class one member had a deadened nerve in

asked God how one woman in prison could begin to nurshyture others in this sea of sufshyfering and woundedness

her foot I pressed the point on the soles of her feet which I learned from Vondas reflexology demonstrations Then I showed others how to massage their own feet and do the same for others Hugs Hugs when we are happy hugs when we are sad hugs between friends and strangers Hugs because it is imporant to feel the human touch Hugs that cut the pain in half Hugs more than words are the language of human love Boundaries Some women here call me mom and I discourage it I am pleased to know they feel the warmth that initiates the thaw which is the beginning of healing But I recognize the error in thinking this is going to come from someone outside themshyselves

No I am not your mom I tell them gently You already have two moms the one who gave you birth and the Divine Mother who lives in your very own heart I am your friend Balance To be an effective nurturer I need nurturing My spirit needs nurturing and nourishment I need space and quiet time for prayer and meditation and Yoga When I need help I ask for it When I am tired I take a nap I can cry when Im sad and ask for a hug when Im vulnerable And someone is-always-there for me -

For God who is all nurturing always provides a real hand to hold a human heart to care a real shoulder to lean on when I need it Jeri Becker offers nurturing in her Yoga

classes and addiction-support groups while serving a life sentence in Corona CA

Words from Wisdom Carrie McClish

Nurturers keep life at arms length

Sowing seeds reaps good fruit by Jeri Becker

Its spring and who can resist pushing some seeds into the earth Watching for that first green bud watering and weedshying Sometimes it is a while before we see the fruits of our effort Vonda and I take part in several self-help

groups to affect the larger community Last Christmas our Mexican American Resource Group (MARA) adopted a secshyond grade class in a school and decided to make the children Christmas presents

One MARA member donated 50 plain egg-sized gourds and set about decorating them as tree ornaments We organized volunteers to work with us in the art room so on the bleak rainy Saturdays of Novemshyber we painted glued and glittered small gourds as we envisioned bringing a little sunshine into the lives of children we had never met

As we worked (played) we talked about

own childhood and our children but mostly we talked about kids who didnt have much The love we invested in the project was nurturing for all of us

One April evening the teacher of these second graders visited our MARA meetshying We were awed to hear her story of how amazed the children were by these tittle gifts as if they contained all the wonderment ofthe abundant Christ mases so many children in this country have

These were children of immigrants of poverty The gifts from prisoners helped the children talk of their own fears gunshyshots in the night intruders immigration and authority figures

These little children had great big worshyries but with this teacher they felt safe She provided nurturing not possible in their own homes The gifts we made gave then a joy beyond our imaginations

And like the little seeds we plant in spring we were awed by the blooms

Window into Prison

The psych unit by Vonda White

It is impossible these days for me to pass the Mental Health Trailer on my way from the Support Care Unit where I work withshyout checking to see if the nasturtiums I planted a few weeks ago are up yet or if the tiny allysum plants need water

Some dry hot spring days I may haul several buckets of water over to the garden strip before going on It reminds me of checking on the baby years back to make sure he was warm clean and dry

It doesnt seem that there is a great deal that can be done for those on the Support Care Unit whose inner babies never reshyceived enough nourishment and whose needs are astronomical Every day I watch several women being

hand-cuffed and taken to an observation cell for days or sometimes weeks Some of these women are basically reacting to too much on-going traumamdashdigging in their heels at a cost that normal people cannot comprehend

Others are depressed and perhaps suishycidal or psychotic All are deeply unhappy and dissatisfied with life

From this treatment they may get a form of atterition that is better than the usual institutional indifference and being herded into meals showers med-lines or outside into caged yards for an hour or so a few times a week

None of this is healing in the sense that most people consider such places should be When the women come back into the unit once more there is always hope they will be normalized enough to respond to the therapy groups and particular kindnesses thatare especially eXteTiaedTcf this group of women There is not a lot of visible success here

in the two years I have worked on the SCU I have seen almost every parolee returnmdash often several times The recidivism rate is probably double or triple what is seen in the general population And these are the short-termers

The prevailing mode among the long-termers (those who dont get parole until found suitable by the Board of Prison Terms) is self-absorption self-indulgence and despair To work here is challenging just about to the point of discouragement nonetheless I would rather be here than

These women are not to be thrown away they are to be nourished until they flower once moremdashand they do

anywhere else I realize that extreme acting-out behavshy

ior requires a degree of confinementmdashbut that is not the end within itself As for the self-absorption and despair I have seen it lighten and change among some over the years Transformation does not always come in one blazing moment of revelation

I have heard staff say that these women arent going to get any better and the best thing for them is to be keep locked in as much a possible In my experience the best thing for them is to be loved and given as much freedom as they can handle

When one is forced to control everyshythingmdashfrom emotions andbehaviorto dress and range of activity then one needs to be absolutely free in choosing what materials to dress the clothespin dolls in at Arts and Crafts or what songs to sing in the music module or what words to play with in writing class

These women are not to be thrown away they are to be cherished and nourished until they bud and flower once moremdashand they do When they come they come wholeheartshy

edly holding nothing back When they are ready to parole with broad smiles hair beautifully braided by a peer helper arms full of craft projects and copies of their writings from the weekly publication to take home with them there is a greater hope for their not returning

If we care about the well-being of the baby then equally important is the well-being of wounded and fragile adults The rewards are commensurate with the effort involved Perhaps the greatest personal reward can be summed up in the words of J M Barrie Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves

Vonda White spiritually nourishes othshyers while serving a life sentence in Coshyrona CA

Jeri Becker went before the parole board on May 21 If you wish to know

the outcome e-mail cwn(rltcatholicwomensnetorg

To donate clothing (casual) shoes sweaters for women leaving C A

prisons email Peggy at pstretch(Sgtmsncom

gtery

Coming in Fall issue

Tell us your stories of Wisdom Share your process of growing in age and grace ow do you live with humor in your older years

as a crone Is there a woman of wisdom whom you admire

What is it about her that demonstrates wisdom (Wisdom is not the same as knowledge)

Send your real life stories (no essays or commentaries please) to CWN by July 25 Use inclusive language

If printed authors will receive a First Class subscription for themselves or as a gift to others Send by mail or email

877 Spinosa Dr Surinyvale CA 94087 E-mail cwn^catholicwomensnetorg

Ifyou wish your writing returned please enclose SASE

gunegulyAuSust 2002 (tyetwortt for Womens Spirituality lttgtage 15

Spirituality in the Arts

Hand Prints by Mary Hubbard

The small carved statue of the birthing mother a quintessential African art theme brought a smile How my supine position confused the midwife when my daughters were born in Ghana

The tribal woman squats often on a stool a practical application of Newtons Law But I remember not this disputed position but the loving ebony hands that guided the girls into that world

Deep inside Aurignacian caves are the hand prints of early artists impressions createdby blowing ground pigment through a tube onto the wall ofthe cave where the hand is pressed The prints say one after another I am here and I am here and I too am here (Roberta Weir)

The affirmation I Am reaches back to Yahweh so naming Godself Artisans proshy

claim their existence through their work Regardless of their original mothering it is their endeavors painting writing sculptshying that sustain and nurture them Michelangelos childhood had been grim

lacking in affection He was placed with a wet nurse in a family of stonecutters where he sucked in the craft of the hammer and chisel with my foster mothers milk

He would walk through the marble quarshyries of Carrara looking listening for a particular piece of marble to speak to him perhaps to whisper I Am Michelangelo said The true work of art is but a shadow ofthe divine perfection

He comes close to that perfection in the compassion of Marys hands in his Pieta enshrined in St Peters Artistic hands abound the negligible hands ofthe 30000 year-old Venus of Willendorf whose feet were also eliminated (perhaps so she could not skip out on the kids) to the cradling of wet-nurses and the plucking of weavers

In Ghana mythical mothers are often honored I was intrigued with the weaving ofthe brilliant red gold and black kente cloth The kente is an Asante ceremonial cloth hand-woven on a treadle loom The magnificent Toku Kra Toma commemoshyrates the soul of an esteemed warrior Queen Mother

A Renaissance master of light and dark both in life and art Caravaggio was inshyvolved in quarrels lawsuits homicide However during this time he painted subshylimely He created at the time ofthe plague in which his father and grandfather died

His mother was preoccupied with five children and constant family feuds In The Lute Player translucent hands and arms lovingly fondle the performers instrument Abrupt movement ofthe hand Boy Bitten By a Spider) allegorically shows pleasure soon transformed to pain An unnaturally long arm may be the reach to death

Rodins hands are masterpieces of intishymacy supplication and drama Yet he had such difficulty reading and writing he was sent away to boarding school literally out of reach of his mother He who freed sculpture from the academic conventions ofthe 19th century was fascinated with hands He produced 1000 such images highlighting this tool which gave voice to his I Am

The artist catches us like the midwives hands and holds us up to see new life

Handspringing to present day LA we are awed by David Hockney master draftsshyman set designer painter Cubist photogshyrapher He had a love affair with the romance of Los Angeles its swimming pools and the men who dove into them

Hockney grew up with a riot of held opinion His father waged campaigns against wars and smoking His mother was a strict vegetarian and very religious He uses photographic collage to show us his multifaceted mother There is no one set shot Multiple frames superimposed speak to her many faces the numerous roles that all mothers experience

In The Scrabble Game there are seven different photos of his mothers hands We know her Parts ofher maternal experience repeat in our soul The most important act of artists mothers is giving birth The drive the talent the necessity to communishycate seems to supersede subsequent matershynal nurturing

The artist catches us like the midwives hands and holds us up to see new life We gasp in this generous gift

Mary Hubbard writes on spirituality and the arts from many artistic experishyences

Tall in Spirit

The Circle of Life by Joni Woelfel

Ancient scholars describe the soul as a circle a universal symbol of completeness and totality with no beginning and no end The circle represents all the never-ending cycles and seasons of life as well as the birth death and rebirth of the journey from the womb to the tomb and back to the womb of everlasting life

I have a beautiful necklace that is a treasure to me A gift from a friend it consists simply and elegantly of three circles within one another suspended on a gold chain I wear it in memory of our son who died a special symbol of comfort that enfolds many layers of meaning to me

It also serves to remind me that when we come full circle in life we come to an understanding of what it means to give of ourselves so that others might live and flourish This message is clearly our greatshyest hope

As we process our challenges through faith we come full circle into the fullness of Gods life within us We learn that God does not want us to live with worry despair and fear as hounds at our heels or as a cold hand at our backs

As we discover new life within and beshyyond our struggles we are able to channel it for the sake of others Never was this illustrated more powerfully than through the life and death of our friend Sharon

There were four of us Sharon Ann Libbie and myself all friends who met on our web site We knew Sharon was dying

Columns

0ok$ that tilt5r)Camp

_bull

CAJNfTICLE OF THE EARTH The Words of Francis of Assisi Celebrated in the photography y

of David amp Marc Muench Master landscape and wilderness photographers David Muench and his son Marc Muench magnificently bring St Francis time-honored song of praise to life through 70 stunning four-color photographs Their captivating images illustrate the sentimental of St Francis that all of nature from Brother Sun to Sister Moon is a gift from the Lord of Creation Readers will find Confide of the Earth lo be a source of inspiration and deep contemplation

ISBN 1-893732-45-2 64 pages full-color photographs throughout $1595

EARTHS ECHO Sacred Encounters With Nature

Robert M Hanuna hr Robert Hamma all of nature - the seashore the river the forest the desert the mountains - is not just a metaphor for God but a form of divine presence Earths Echo is a sacred and awe-inspiring book that is indispensable reading for anyone cttmm spiritual journey

mdash A n n i e Dillard Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Pilgrim at Tinker Crook ISBN 1-893732-46-0 192 pages $1295

SIMPLE DAYS A Journal on What Really Matters

Marlene A Schiwy Marlene Schiwy shares her journey toward living a simpler fife in a journal that she M over the course of a year She offers her reflections on paying attention to what m a f t ^ most and to looking where our lives are heading She encourages readers to ponder such questions as How Moth k Enough How Do I Balance Family Self And Career tad What Matters Most

ISBN 1-893732-30-4 224 pages $1495

- SORIN BOOKS At bookstores or _J_g Notre Dame Indiana 46556-1006 ph 18002821865 fax 18002825681

when we come full circle in life we come to an undershystanding of what it means to give of our selves so that others might live

Shed suffered a massive heart attack and was existing precariously on nitro-glycerin and oxygen

Doctors had not expected her to live but month after month she lingered As her physical body faded her voice of wisdom grew stronger and stronger As a circle of friends we grew as close to Sharon as I believe it is possible to be with a soul friend on this earth each in our own unique way Because Sharons words were so compelshy

ling and expansive I think I forgot she was dying She had such passion and her words were filled with inner vitality amazing creativity descriptions and expressions of her lifes joys sorrows and wounds She held nothing back

As a member of our core group she was devoted to ministering on our web site reaching out to others with uncommon honesty humor depth and commitment even when she was so ill she could barely leave her bed

And yet she was so ready to die She had a profound sense of eternity and the welshycoming arms of God and longed to write of it and often did to all of us We were not prepared when we got the word that she had died rather quickly in her husbands arms

She had prepared us as best she could there was nothing left unsaid but it was heartbreaking to let her go Just a few nights before she died I had a dream of an bull amazing cloud overhead that transformed into hundreds of wings After Sharon died I thought of freedom and the dream Sharon was free

But we three friends left behind felt such a hole in our little circle We were left to carry on knowing we would never hear her voice again in the way in which we were accustomed There had been such a conshynection between us

Through Sharon we learned what it means to be a mentor even in death I asked Libbie and Ann what that meant to them and they both said the same thing Libbie wrote it means having your life be the example of your beliefs sharing your thoughts and experiences with someone else but not forcing them to embrace your truths It means being a teacher rather than a preacher willing to give guidance and yet to know where the line is between guiding and leading

Ann eloquently wrote A mentor is just being the best example of whatever you are trying to mentor the person about being as honest and authentic as you can be that is how another learns from you

Sharon was our mentor in teaching us not only how to die but more importantly howto live grieve and integrate all that we are She taught us what it means to come full circle as a human being and a spiritual being Blessed be her beautiful memory

Joni and her husband have a web site for support for suicide and depression issues www geocities commics message index html

ffqflg 16 Q^gtwork for (Women fs Spirituality ltJuneltJu(ysltugust 2002

just ice ^SUCS

Just Concerns

Moretoworkthanwork by Betty Neville Michelozzi

Work is the way we tend the world once wrote Lance Morrow in Time Magashyzine Tend is a tender word We tend our children our pets our gardens encouragshying them to flourish Work is the way we provide for each other our basic needs for food clothing shelter health safety and our enriching wants beyond needs

Does our work nurture us others the world bringing greater life causing us all to flourish Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people doing walking meditation to imagine each step leaving a flower on the earth What footprints does our work leave behind Is our work proshyfoundly useful

A new concept has been growing since the early 70s socially-responsible investshying People invest in companies that proshyduce safe good-quality affordable prodshyucts excluding militarynuclear weapons and tobacco provide healthy work envishyronments with equal and fair opportunities for all workers respect the ecology and function ethically

Then why not invest not only our money but our lives by choosing socially responshysible workworkplaces

Looking carefully we find many people whose work improves the planet-some exshytraordinary some very humble Hunter and Amory Lovins for example have proven over several decades that with now-available and close-to-benign energy prodshyucts we could cut our dependence on Midshyeast oil and nuclear and fossil-fuel power dramatically while creating abundant wholesome jobs

For example just a 27 mpg better light vehicle fleet would save as much petroshyleum as we import from the Persian Gulf Needless to say our security would be improved the environment cleansed our lifestyles enhanced

Organic farmers and gardeners improve the soil save money and energy using fewer soil amendments provide more jobs and often when sold locally save vast amounts of transportationmdashall the while improving the health ofthe population

Architects design energy-saving buildshyings that nourish those who live and work in them Michael Corbett designed en-

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irreshysponsible work

ergy-efficient Village Homes in Davis Calishyfornia Their natural sewage systems avoid the flooding found in the rest of the city during torrential rains The natural landshyscape is enhanced with walking and bishycycle paths downplaying the need for cars Fruit trees and other food grow in abunshydance in common areas

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irresponsible work But for many the immediate imperative may inshyclude marriage and family and as Zorba the Greek says the whole catastrophe Socially responsible work may be a bit ofa stretch

Like people even the best work has less-than-perfect aspects But people can conshysider small steps toward a new goal taking courses in a different field changing the focus of their existing job working to imshyprove their workplace volunteering

A chiropractor his face alight with joy talks about how much he enjoys seeing people get well His patients are grateful A first-grade teacher encourages a childs discovery Its a its a its a word The child knows delight and is grateful

A manager encourages a timid employee and her self-esteem grows A considerate clerk an honest and caring repair ptprson-many peoples work leave footprints of joy and a more wholesome world behind them

A parent stretches just a little bit more to spend time with a child A seasoned citizen works for peace Not all work produces a paycheck Can we say that they are prophshyets those who show the rest of us a way that brings life enhances life radiates an integrity that uplifts others

Work Theres more to work than work more than meets the eye My yearly retreat gives me time to reflect again on how I spend the days of my life to give life to my days

Betty Neville Michelozzi is a social justice activist and volunter with Habitat for Humanity

Personal Pathways BodyMind Therapy

Brennan Healing Science amp Healing Touch

Surgery Preparation

Marian Webster KN MS 406921-2664 in practice at Center for Integrative Medicine San Jose CA 4082864325

Give this to the Man You Love

JlhAh Come to www3tmichaelrecord8com

for a free bookCD for the man in your life

St Michael Records is a non-profit Catholic Mens Ministry

Fewer Priests-Fewer Parishes

What Can We Do

Future of Priestly Ministry Dialogue Packet

Includes statistics from the US Bishops Catholic teaching on

Eucharist rights of the laity women and the diaconate Also education

prayer and advocacy materials that can be adapted

for your group ($10 donation)

Celebrate the Body of Christi A prayer service for the Feast of Corpus Christi

Modeled after the festive meals Jesus celebrated with marginalized memshybers of his own tradition A great opportunity to educate about the

Generality or Eucharist and potential loss of sacramental identity because

of the priest shortage (FREE)

Projects developed by FutureChurch 15800 Montrose Ave Cleveland OH 44111

216-228-0869 wwwfutiffechurdiorg in partnership with

Call to Action wwwcta-usaorg

Heartbeats

That feeling of home by Regina Cassidy

About ten years ago my husband and I decided that it was time that we either move or add onto our small home in order to accommodate our growing family Buying turned out to be prohibitive so we hired an architect and builder

The day finally came in April when we had to gather all of our belongings toshygether-including furniture-- and move into my in-laws home for a temporary stay Most of our things were stored in a friends garage piled high and definitely inaccesshysible

Ill never forget the feeling I had as I looked around our tight quarters uncertain where anything was cribs pushed into one room clothes in another I felt a mixture of loss and desperation and I thought to myself This must be how it feels to be homeless

Little did I know A few weeks ago at work I received two referrals on the same day for new clients Both were single women with young children who had reshycently been relocated to my borough of New York City due to domestic violence

Their moves had to be hasty and unshyplannedmdashthey received a sudden call from a social worker that a protected and anonyshymous setting had been found for them

This is it they were told Gather your childrens clothes any personal items that you can carry and well pick you up in the mini-van in a few hours

At the point when I received the calls each family had settled into their new places with literally only what they could

carry ^Now thev |ieeded^furmture^-beds ^cribfP-Tliving room sofa a kitchen table some dressers

Does anyone ever donate refrigerators one worker asked or even a small microshywave The oven did not work in her clients apartment I dutifully made a list of what each family

needed and walked upstairs slowly to put it in the inter-office mailbox of the person who handles such requests for my agency I questioned how quickly either would be filled and so I put Urgent on the top of each underscoring the presence and ages of the children in the home

Returning to myoffice I recalled that joyous time when my husband and I brought

Now I know that anything that can be donated should be donated

our family back to our newly-renovated home after an absence of six months My sons ran through the large and empty rooms excited and amazed at all the space Since then we have slowly filled it with our chairs tables and general clutter

(Though to date I still not have found everything that we had before that move) Weve even managed to acquire a few new things and plan more changes in the fushyture Now I know though that when I do anything that can be donated should be donated

A living room set that were tired of A bed mattress thats grown a little soft Dresser drawers that stick And that mishycrowave thats just a little too small or slow There is someone who is waiting for it A mother may need that microwave to heat up a meal for her children

A child may be eager to bounce on that bed to organize his clothes to sit at a slightly battered desk to do his homework in relative peace The family may be ready to gather around that worn kitchen table to celebrate tiieir first night in a new and safe home together

Ten years ago my move was by choice many do not have that privilege If theres a way to make their transition and relocashytion easier lets go for it

Ifyou would lure to^make donations of furniture in your area look in the Yellow Pages for a local charity that handles such requests Any agency that deals with doshymestic violence would welcome such conshytributions as would those that help young single mothers who choose to give birth to their unborn children

Finally soup kitchens food pantries and homeless shelters relocate people to more permanent homes on a regular basis as do transitional programs for the mentally ill and substance abusers

Regina Cassidy is a social worker in Staten Island NY

Its a funny thing about nurturing it seems like most of us are better at doing it than receiving it We are really good at recognizing when others are doing too much and we always seem to have words of wisdom handy to remind these over achievers to take care of yourself

Yet when it conies to recognizing our own needs we have a tendency to downplay the significance of our giving This may then lead to burnout

As a social worker providing assistance to foster children I have many opportunishyties to help heal and nurture others Yet this very system that wants to fix others is broken and in pain Without recognizshying its own need for nurturing how can this system ever begin to help another

I have found that unless I myself heal my brokenness I am unable to reach out honestly and offer real help to others This means I must find ways to care for myself mind body and spirit if I want to be of service and give something of value to another Nurturing begins with me

I find this same brokenness in parish life The church is so busy asking members to

Jeri Becker

serve she seems to forget that these minisshyters need to be nurtured as well Someshytimes the holiest thing one can do is say No when asked to serve And that is precisely why I currently find

myself in the process of offering a new ministry to my parish I have a vision of creating a center that will nurture the nurturers offering education on stress reshyduction and the mindbodyspirit connecshytion offering mini retreats and evening gatherings that will address individual conshycerns and needs

I envision a center that will not ask members to give but rather will give supshyport and encouragement to those in need of refreshment

Verna Fisher Cerritos CA

ffgge 14 Network for cWomen s Spirituality ^une^ulyAugust 2002

Columns From the Inside

Nurture in prisony ^^

by Jeri Becker

Nurturing is something I do a lot of in prison This is where I learned how

Nurturing is not something I got a lot of as a child What I did get was criticism rules discipline and a feeling that I was not very important in the grand scheme of things

I often felt in the way out of place unloved and uncherished Hugging touchshying and listening were things my parents didnt receive as children so did not know how to give as adults What I did learn from my childhood is what didn t work and what makes people feel lonely unworthy anxious and afraid

I never had children of my own I was still an emotionally-needy child in my late 20s when I came to prison Before I had anything at all to give someone else I had to leam to nurture myself and that couldnt happen as long as I was desperately seeking fulfillment outside myself

I looked for love and guidance from men who by their nature are not nurturers Women by their nature are I didnt realize I had all the resources within myself to be self-nurturing until God showed me that I did and how to draw them out

I asked God how one woman in prison could begin to nurture others in this sea of suffering and woundedness How does a mother nurture her children all demandshying crying and needy at the same time

Gods answer was simple just do what you can using your feminine intushyition Start where there is the greatest need And so I did Hand to Hand Last night a new arrival came to ask a question I saw her longingly eyeing the packets of stale peanut butter and crackers (rejected from institutional lunch boxes) on my desk When I offered them to her the look in her eyes and her unabashed gratitude told me it had been far too long since anyone had given this woman something and asked nothing in return

After thanking me she said Me and my bunkie are going to have a feast Now she had enough to share Hands On It is not uncommon here to meet women suffering such deep-seated inexpressible emotional pain that it manishyfests itself in real excruciating skeletal and muscular pam I cannot reach in and heal a broken heart but I can rub a back or massage a shoulder Last week in Yoga class one member had a deadened nerve in

asked God how one woman in prison could begin to nurshyture others in this sea of sufshyfering and woundedness

her foot I pressed the point on the soles of her feet which I learned from Vondas reflexology demonstrations Then I showed others how to massage their own feet and do the same for others Hugs Hugs when we are happy hugs when we are sad hugs between friends and strangers Hugs because it is imporant to feel the human touch Hugs that cut the pain in half Hugs more than words are the language of human love Boundaries Some women here call me mom and I discourage it I am pleased to know they feel the warmth that initiates the thaw which is the beginning of healing But I recognize the error in thinking this is going to come from someone outside themshyselves

No I am not your mom I tell them gently You already have two moms the one who gave you birth and the Divine Mother who lives in your very own heart I am your friend Balance To be an effective nurturer I need nurturing My spirit needs nurturing and nourishment I need space and quiet time for prayer and meditation and Yoga When I need help I ask for it When I am tired I take a nap I can cry when Im sad and ask for a hug when Im vulnerable And someone is-always-there for me -

For God who is all nurturing always provides a real hand to hold a human heart to care a real shoulder to lean on when I need it Jeri Becker offers nurturing in her Yoga

classes and addiction-support groups while serving a life sentence in Corona CA

Words from Wisdom Carrie McClish

Nurturers keep life at arms length

Sowing seeds reaps good fruit by Jeri Becker

Its spring and who can resist pushing some seeds into the earth Watching for that first green bud watering and weedshying Sometimes it is a while before we see the fruits of our effort Vonda and I take part in several self-help

groups to affect the larger community Last Christmas our Mexican American Resource Group (MARA) adopted a secshyond grade class in a school and decided to make the children Christmas presents

One MARA member donated 50 plain egg-sized gourds and set about decorating them as tree ornaments We organized volunteers to work with us in the art room so on the bleak rainy Saturdays of Novemshyber we painted glued and glittered small gourds as we envisioned bringing a little sunshine into the lives of children we had never met

As we worked (played) we talked about

own childhood and our children but mostly we talked about kids who didnt have much The love we invested in the project was nurturing for all of us

One April evening the teacher of these second graders visited our MARA meetshying We were awed to hear her story of how amazed the children were by these tittle gifts as if they contained all the wonderment ofthe abundant Christ mases so many children in this country have

These were children of immigrants of poverty The gifts from prisoners helped the children talk of their own fears gunshyshots in the night intruders immigration and authority figures

These little children had great big worshyries but with this teacher they felt safe She provided nurturing not possible in their own homes The gifts we made gave then a joy beyond our imaginations

And like the little seeds we plant in spring we were awed by the blooms

Window into Prison

The psych unit by Vonda White

It is impossible these days for me to pass the Mental Health Trailer on my way from the Support Care Unit where I work withshyout checking to see if the nasturtiums I planted a few weeks ago are up yet or if the tiny allysum plants need water

Some dry hot spring days I may haul several buckets of water over to the garden strip before going on It reminds me of checking on the baby years back to make sure he was warm clean and dry

It doesnt seem that there is a great deal that can be done for those on the Support Care Unit whose inner babies never reshyceived enough nourishment and whose needs are astronomical Every day I watch several women being

hand-cuffed and taken to an observation cell for days or sometimes weeks Some of these women are basically reacting to too much on-going traumamdashdigging in their heels at a cost that normal people cannot comprehend

Others are depressed and perhaps suishycidal or psychotic All are deeply unhappy and dissatisfied with life

From this treatment they may get a form of atterition that is better than the usual institutional indifference and being herded into meals showers med-lines or outside into caged yards for an hour or so a few times a week

None of this is healing in the sense that most people consider such places should be When the women come back into the unit once more there is always hope they will be normalized enough to respond to the therapy groups and particular kindnesses thatare especially eXteTiaedTcf this group of women There is not a lot of visible success here

in the two years I have worked on the SCU I have seen almost every parolee returnmdash often several times The recidivism rate is probably double or triple what is seen in the general population And these are the short-termers

The prevailing mode among the long-termers (those who dont get parole until found suitable by the Board of Prison Terms) is self-absorption self-indulgence and despair To work here is challenging just about to the point of discouragement nonetheless I would rather be here than

These women are not to be thrown away they are to be nourished until they flower once moremdashand they do

anywhere else I realize that extreme acting-out behavshy

ior requires a degree of confinementmdashbut that is not the end within itself As for the self-absorption and despair I have seen it lighten and change among some over the years Transformation does not always come in one blazing moment of revelation

I have heard staff say that these women arent going to get any better and the best thing for them is to be keep locked in as much a possible In my experience the best thing for them is to be loved and given as much freedom as they can handle

When one is forced to control everyshythingmdashfrom emotions andbehaviorto dress and range of activity then one needs to be absolutely free in choosing what materials to dress the clothespin dolls in at Arts and Crafts or what songs to sing in the music module or what words to play with in writing class

These women are not to be thrown away they are to be cherished and nourished until they bud and flower once moremdashand they do When they come they come wholeheartshy

edly holding nothing back When they are ready to parole with broad smiles hair beautifully braided by a peer helper arms full of craft projects and copies of their writings from the weekly publication to take home with them there is a greater hope for their not returning

If we care about the well-being of the baby then equally important is the well-being of wounded and fragile adults The rewards are commensurate with the effort involved Perhaps the greatest personal reward can be summed up in the words of J M Barrie Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves

Vonda White spiritually nourishes othshyers while serving a life sentence in Coshyrona CA

Jeri Becker went before the parole board on May 21 If you wish to know

the outcome e-mail cwn(rltcatholicwomensnetorg

To donate clothing (casual) shoes sweaters for women leaving C A

prisons email Peggy at pstretch(Sgtmsncom

gtery

Coming in Fall issue

Tell us your stories of Wisdom Share your process of growing in age and grace ow do you live with humor in your older years

as a crone Is there a woman of wisdom whom you admire

What is it about her that demonstrates wisdom (Wisdom is not the same as knowledge)

Send your real life stories (no essays or commentaries please) to CWN by July 25 Use inclusive language

If printed authors will receive a First Class subscription for themselves or as a gift to others Send by mail or email

877 Spinosa Dr Surinyvale CA 94087 E-mail cwn^catholicwomensnetorg

Ifyou wish your writing returned please enclose SASE

gunegulyAuSust 2002 (tyetwortt for Womens Spirituality lttgtage 15

Spirituality in the Arts

Hand Prints by Mary Hubbard

The small carved statue of the birthing mother a quintessential African art theme brought a smile How my supine position confused the midwife when my daughters were born in Ghana

The tribal woman squats often on a stool a practical application of Newtons Law But I remember not this disputed position but the loving ebony hands that guided the girls into that world

Deep inside Aurignacian caves are the hand prints of early artists impressions createdby blowing ground pigment through a tube onto the wall ofthe cave where the hand is pressed The prints say one after another I am here and I am here and I too am here (Roberta Weir)

The affirmation I Am reaches back to Yahweh so naming Godself Artisans proshy

claim their existence through their work Regardless of their original mothering it is their endeavors painting writing sculptshying that sustain and nurture them Michelangelos childhood had been grim

lacking in affection He was placed with a wet nurse in a family of stonecutters where he sucked in the craft of the hammer and chisel with my foster mothers milk

He would walk through the marble quarshyries of Carrara looking listening for a particular piece of marble to speak to him perhaps to whisper I Am Michelangelo said The true work of art is but a shadow ofthe divine perfection

He comes close to that perfection in the compassion of Marys hands in his Pieta enshrined in St Peters Artistic hands abound the negligible hands ofthe 30000 year-old Venus of Willendorf whose feet were also eliminated (perhaps so she could not skip out on the kids) to the cradling of wet-nurses and the plucking of weavers

In Ghana mythical mothers are often honored I was intrigued with the weaving ofthe brilliant red gold and black kente cloth The kente is an Asante ceremonial cloth hand-woven on a treadle loom The magnificent Toku Kra Toma commemoshyrates the soul of an esteemed warrior Queen Mother

A Renaissance master of light and dark both in life and art Caravaggio was inshyvolved in quarrels lawsuits homicide However during this time he painted subshylimely He created at the time ofthe plague in which his father and grandfather died

His mother was preoccupied with five children and constant family feuds In The Lute Player translucent hands and arms lovingly fondle the performers instrument Abrupt movement ofthe hand Boy Bitten By a Spider) allegorically shows pleasure soon transformed to pain An unnaturally long arm may be the reach to death

Rodins hands are masterpieces of intishymacy supplication and drama Yet he had such difficulty reading and writing he was sent away to boarding school literally out of reach of his mother He who freed sculpture from the academic conventions ofthe 19th century was fascinated with hands He produced 1000 such images highlighting this tool which gave voice to his I Am

The artist catches us like the midwives hands and holds us up to see new life

Handspringing to present day LA we are awed by David Hockney master draftsshyman set designer painter Cubist photogshyrapher He had a love affair with the romance of Los Angeles its swimming pools and the men who dove into them

Hockney grew up with a riot of held opinion His father waged campaigns against wars and smoking His mother was a strict vegetarian and very religious He uses photographic collage to show us his multifaceted mother There is no one set shot Multiple frames superimposed speak to her many faces the numerous roles that all mothers experience

In The Scrabble Game there are seven different photos of his mothers hands We know her Parts ofher maternal experience repeat in our soul The most important act of artists mothers is giving birth The drive the talent the necessity to communishycate seems to supersede subsequent matershynal nurturing

The artist catches us like the midwives hands and holds us up to see new life We gasp in this generous gift

Mary Hubbard writes on spirituality and the arts from many artistic experishyences

Tall in Spirit

The Circle of Life by Joni Woelfel

Ancient scholars describe the soul as a circle a universal symbol of completeness and totality with no beginning and no end The circle represents all the never-ending cycles and seasons of life as well as the birth death and rebirth of the journey from the womb to the tomb and back to the womb of everlasting life

I have a beautiful necklace that is a treasure to me A gift from a friend it consists simply and elegantly of three circles within one another suspended on a gold chain I wear it in memory of our son who died a special symbol of comfort that enfolds many layers of meaning to me

It also serves to remind me that when we come full circle in life we come to an understanding of what it means to give of ourselves so that others might live and flourish This message is clearly our greatshyest hope

As we process our challenges through faith we come full circle into the fullness of Gods life within us We learn that God does not want us to live with worry despair and fear as hounds at our heels or as a cold hand at our backs

As we discover new life within and beshyyond our struggles we are able to channel it for the sake of others Never was this illustrated more powerfully than through the life and death of our friend Sharon

There were four of us Sharon Ann Libbie and myself all friends who met on our web site We knew Sharon was dying

Columns

0ok$ that tilt5r)Camp

_bull

CAJNfTICLE OF THE EARTH The Words of Francis of Assisi Celebrated in the photography y

of David amp Marc Muench Master landscape and wilderness photographers David Muench and his son Marc Muench magnificently bring St Francis time-honored song of praise to life through 70 stunning four-color photographs Their captivating images illustrate the sentimental of St Francis that all of nature from Brother Sun to Sister Moon is a gift from the Lord of Creation Readers will find Confide of the Earth lo be a source of inspiration and deep contemplation

ISBN 1-893732-45-2 64 pages full-color photographs throughout $1595

EARTHS ECHO Sacred Encounters With Nature

Robert M Hanuna hr Robert Hamma all of nature - the seashore the river the forest the desert the mountains - is not just a metaphor for God but a form of divine presence Earths Echo is a sacred and awe-inspiring book that is indispensable reading for anyone cttmm spiritual journey

mdash A n n i e Dillard Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Pilgrim at Tinker Crook ISBN 1-893732-46-0 192 pages $1295

SIMPLE DAYS A Journal on What Really Matters

Marlene A Schiwy Marlene Schiwy shares her journey toward living a simpler fife in a journal that she M over the course of a year She offers her reflections on paying attention to what m a f t ^ most and to looking where our lives are heading She encourages readers to ponder such questions as How Moth k Enough How Do I Balance Family Self And Career tad What Matters Most

ISBN 1-893732-30-4 224 pages $1495

- SORIN BOOKS At bookstores or _J_g Notre Dame Indiana 46556-1006 ph 18002821865 fax 18002825681

when we come full circle in life we come to an undershystanding of what it means to give of our selves so that others might live

Shed suffered a massive heart attack and was existing precariously on nitro-glycerin and oxygen

Doctors had not expected her to live but month after month she lingered As her physical body faded her voice of wisdom grew stronger and stronger As a circle of friends we grew as close to Sharon as I believe it is possible to be with a soul friend on this earth each in our own unique way Because Sharons words were so compelshy

ling and expansive I think I forgot she was dying She had such passion and her words were filled with inner vitality amazing creativity descriptions and expressions of her lifes joys sorrows and wounds She held nothing back

As a member of our core group she was devoted to ministering on our web site reaching out to others with uncommon honesty humor depth and commitment even when she was so ill she could barely leave her bed

And yet she was so ready to die She had a profound sense of eternity and the welshycoming arms of God and longed to write of it and often did to all of us We were not prepared when we got the word that she had died rather quickly in her husbands arms

She had prepared us as best she could there was nothing left unsaid but it was heartbreaking to let her go Just a few nights before she died I had a dream of an bull amazing cloud overhead that transformed into hundreds of wings After Sharon died I thought of freedom and the dream Sharon was free

But we three friends left behind felt such a hole in our little circle We were left to carry on knowing we would never hear her voice again in the way in which we were accustomed There had been such a conshynection between us

Through Sharon we learned what it means to be a mentor even in death I asked Libbie and Ann what that meant to them and they both said the same thing Libbie wrote it means having your life be the example of your beliefs sharing your thoughts and experiences with someone else but not forcing them to embrace your truths It means being a teacher rather than a preacher willing to give guidance and yet to know where the line is between guiding and leading

Ann eloquently wrote A mentor is just being the best example of whatever you are trying to mentor the person about being as honest and authentic as you can be that is how another learns from you

Sharon was our mentor in teaching us not only how to die but more importantly howto live grieve and integrate all that we are She taught us what it means to come full circle as a human being and a spiritual being Blessed be her beautiful memory

Joni and her husband have a web site for support for suicide and depression issues www geocities commics message index html

ffqflg 16 Q^gtwork for (Women fs Spirituality ltJuneltJu(ysltugust 2002

just ice ^SUCS

Just Concerns

Moretoworkthanwork by Betty Neville Michelozzi

Work is the way we tend the world once wrote Lance Morrow in Time Magashyzine Tend is a tender word We tend our children our pets our gardens encouragshying them to flourish Work is the way we provide for each other our basic needs for food clothing shelter health safety and our enriching wants beyond needs

Does our work nurture us others the world bringing greater life causing us all to flourish Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people doing walking meditation to imagine each step leaving a flower on the earth What footprints does our work leave behind Is our work proshyfoundly useful

A new concept has been growing since the early 70s socially-responsible investshying People invest in companies that proshyduce safe good-quality affordable prodshyucts excluding militarynuclear weapons and tobacco provide healthy work envishyronments with equal and fair opportunities for all workers respect the ecology and function ethically

Then why not invest not only our money but our lives by choosing socially responshysible workworkplaces

Looking carefully we find many people whose work improves the planet-some exshytraordinary some very humble Hunter and Amory Lovins for example have proven over several decades that with now-available and close-to-benign energy prodshyucts we could cut our dependence on Midshyeast oil and nuclear and fossil-fuel power dramatically while creating abundant wholesome jobs

For example just a 27 mpg better light vehicle fleet would save as much petroshyleum as we import from the Persian Gulf Needless to say our security would be improved the environment cleansed our lifestyles enhanced

Organic farmers and gardeners improve the soil save money and energy using fewer soil amendments provide more jobs and often when sold locally save vast amounts of transportationmdashall the while improving the health ofthe population

Architects design energy-saving buildshyings that nourish those who live and work in them Michael Corbett designed en-

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irreshysponsible work

ergy-efficient Village Homes in Davis Calishyfornia Their natural sewage systems avoid the flooding found in the rest of the city during torrential rains The natural landshyscape is enhanced with walking and bishycycle paths downplaying the need for cars Fruit trees and other food grow in abunshydance in common areas

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irresponsible work But for many the immediate imperative may inshyclude marriage and family and as Zorba the Greek says the whole catastrophe Socially responsible work may be a bit ofa stretch

Like people even the best work has less-than-perfect aspects But people can conshysider small steps toward a new goal taking courses in a different field changing the focus of their existing job working to imshyprove their workplace volunteering

A chiropractor his face alight with joy talks about how much he enjoys seeing people get well His patients are grateful A first-grade teacher encourages a childs discovery Its a its a its a word The child knows delight and is grateful

A manager encourages a timid employee and her self-esteem grows A considerate clerk an honest and caring repair ptprson-many peoples work leave footprints of joy and a more wholesome world behind them

A parent stretches just a little bit more to spend time with a child A seasoned citizen works for peace Not all work produces a paycheck Can we say that they are prophshyets those who show the rest of us a way that brings life enhances life radiates an integrity that uplifts others

Work Theres more to work than work more than meets the eye My yearly retreat gives me time to reflect again on how I spend the days of my life to give life to my days

Betty Neville Michelozzi is a social justice activist and volunter with Habitat for Humanity

Personal Pathways BodyMind Therapy

Brennan Healing Science amp Healing Touch

Surgery Preparation

Marian Webster KN MS 406921-2664 in practice at Center for Integrative Medicine San Jose CA 4082864325

Give this to the Man You Love

JlhAh Come to www3tmichaelrecord8com

for a free bookCD for the man in your life

St Michael Records is a non-profit Catholic Mens Ministry

Fewer Priests-Fewer Parishes

What Can We Do

Future of Priestly Ministry Dialogue Packet

Includes statistics from the US Bishops Catholic teaching on

Eucharist rights of the laity women and the diaconate Also education

prayer and advocacy materials that can be adapted

for your group ($10 donation)

Celebrate the Body of Christi A prayer service for the Feast of Corpus Christi

Modeled after the festive meals Jesus celebrated with marginalized memshybers of his own tradition A great opportunity to educate about the

Generality or Eucharist and potential loss of sacramental identity because

of the priest shortage (FREE)

Projects developed by FutureChurch 15800 Montrose Ave Cleveland OH 44111

216-228-0869 wwwfutiffechurdiorg in partnership with

Call to Action wwwcta-usaorg

Heartbeats

That feeling of home by Regina Cassidy

About ten years ago my husband and I decided that it was time that we either move or add onto our small home in order to accommodate our growing family Buying turned out to be prohibitive so we hired an architect and builder

The day finally came in April when we had to gather all of our belongings toshygether-including furniture-- and move into my in-laws home for a temporary stay Most of our things were stored in a friends garage piled high and definitely inaccesshysible

Ill never forget the feeling I had as I looked around our tight quarters uncertain where anything was cribs pushed into one room clothes in another I felt a mixture of loss and desperation and I thought to myself This must be how it feels to be homeless

Little did I know A few weeks ago at work I received two referrals on the same day for new clients Both were single women with young children who had reshycently been relocated to my borough of New York City due to domestic violence

Their moves had to be hasty and unshyplannedmdashthey received a sudden call from a social worker that a protected and anonyshymous setting had been found for them

This is it they were told Gather your childrens clothes any personal items that you can carry and well pick you up in the mini-van in a few hours

At the point when I received the calls each family had settled into their new places with literally only what they could

carry ^Now thev |ieeded^furmture^-beds ^cribfP-Tliving room sofa a kitchen table some dressers

Does anyone ever donate refrigerators one worker asked or even a small microshywave The oven did not work in her clients apartment I dutifully made a list of what each family

needed and walked upstairs slowly to put it in the inter-office mailbox of the person who handles such requests for my agency I questioned how quickly either would be filled and so I put Urgent on the top of each underscoring the presence and ages of the children in the home

Returning to myoffice I recalled that joyous time when my husband and I brought

Now I know that anything that can be donated should be donated

our family back to our newly-renovated home after an absence of six months My sons ran through the large and empty rooms excited and amazed at all the space Since then we have slowly filled it with our chairs tables and general clutter

(Though to date I still not have found everything that we had before that move) Weve even managed to acquire a few new things and plan more changes in the fushyture Now I know though that when I do anything that can be donated should be donated

A living room set that were tired of A bed mattress thats grown a little soft Dresser drawers that stick And that mishycrowave thats just a little too small or slow There is someone who is waiting for it A mother may need that microwave to heat up a meal for her children

A child may be eager to bounce on that bed to organize his clothes to sit at a slightly battered desk to do his homework in relative peace The family may be ready to gather around that worn kitchen table to celebrate tiieir first night in a new and safe home together

Ten years ago my move was by choice many do not have that privilege If theres a way to make their transition and relocashytion easier lets go for it

Ifyou would lure to^make donations of furniture in your area look in the Yellow Pages for a local charity that handles such requests Any agency that deals with doshymestic violence would welcome such conshytributions as would those that help young single mothers who choose to give birth to their unborn children

Finally soup kitchens food pantries and homeless shelters relocate people to more permanent homes on a regular basis as do transitional programs for the mentally ill and substance abusers

Regina Cassidy is a social worker in Staten Island NY

Its a funny thing about nurturing it seems like most of us are better at doing it than receiving it We are really good at recognizing when others are doing too much and we always seem to have words of wisdom handy to remind these over achievers to take care of yourself

Yet when it conies to recognizing our own needs we have a tendency to downplay the significance of our giving This may then lead to burnout

As a social worker providing assistance to foster children I have many opportunishyties to help heal and nurture others Yet this very system that wants to fix others is broken and in pain Without recognizshying its own need for nurturing how can this system ever begin to help another

I have found that unless I myself heal my brokenness I am unable to reach out honestly and offer real help to others This means I must find ways to care for myself mind body and spirit if I want to be of service and give something of value to another Nurturing begins with me

I find this same brokenness in parish life The church is so busy asking members to

Jeri Becker

serve she seems to forget that these minisshyters need to be nurtured as well Someshytimes the holiest thing one can do is say No when asked to serve And that is precisely why I currently find

myself in the process of offering a new ministry to my parish I have a vision of creating a center that will nurture the nurturers offering education on stress reshyduction and the mindbodyspirit connecshytion offering mini retreats and evening gatherings that will address individual conshycerns and needs

I envision a center that will not ask members to give but rather will give supshyport and encouragement to those in need of refreshment

Verna Fisher Cerritos CA

gunegulyAuSust 2002 (tyetwortt for Womens Spirituality lttgtage 15

Spirituality in the Arts

Hand Prints by Mary Hubbard

The small carved statue of the birthing mother a quintessential African art theme brought a smile How my supine position confused the midwife when my daughters were born in Ghana

The tribal woman squats often on a stool a practical application of Newtons Law But I remember not this disputed position but the loving ebony hands that guided the girls into that world

Deep inside Aurignacian caves are the hand prints of early artists impressions createdby blowing ground pigment through a tube onto the wall ofthe cave where the hand is pressed The prints say one after another I am here and I am here and I too am here (Roberta Weir)

The affirmation I Am reaches back to Yahweh so naming Godself Artisans proshy

claim their existence through their work Regardless of their original mothering it is their endeavors painting writing sculptshying that sustain and nurture them Michelangelos childhood had been grim

lacking in affection He was placed with a wet nurse in a family of stonecutters where he sucked in the craft of the hammer and chisel with my foster mothers milk

He would walk through the marble quarshyries of Carrara looking listening for a particular piece of marble to speak to him perhaps to whisper I Am Michelangelo said The true work of art is but a shadow ofthe divine perfection

He comes close to that perfection in the compassion of Marys hands in his Pieta enshrined in St Peters Artistic hands abound the negligible hands ofthe 30000 year-old Venus of Willendorf whose feet were also eliminated (perhaps so she could not skip out on the kids) to the cradling of wet-nurses and the plucking of weavers

In Ghana mythical mothers are often honored I was intrigued with the weaving ofthe brilliant red gold and black kente cloth The kente is an Asante ceremonial cloth hand-woven on a treadle loom The magnificent Toku Kra Toma commemoshyrates the soul of an esteemed warrior Queen Mother

A Renaissance master of light and dark both in life and art Caravaggio was inshyvolved in quarrels lawsuits homicide However during this time he painted subshylimely He created at the time ofthe plague in which his father and grandfather died

His mother was preoccupied with five children and constant family feuds In The Lute Player translucent hands and arms lovingly fondle the performers instrument Abrupt movement ofthe hand Boy Bitten By a Spider) allegorically shows pleasure soon transformed to pain An unnaturally long arm may be the reach to death

Rodins hands are masterpieces of intishymacy supplication and drama Yet he had such difficulty reading and writing he was sent away to boarding school literally out of reach of his mother He who freed sculpture from the academic conventions ofthe 19th century was fascinated with hands He produced 1000 such images highlighting this tool which gave voice to his I Am

The artist catches us like the midwives hands and holds us up to see new life

Handspringing to present day LA we are awed by David Hockney master draftsshyman set designer painter Cubist photogshyrapher He had a love affair with the romance of Los Angeles its swimming pools and the men who dove into them

Hockney grew up with a riot of held opinion His father waged campaigns against wars and smoking His mother was a strict vegetarian and very religious He uses photographic collage to show us his multifaceted mother There is no one set shot Multiple frames superimposed speak to her many faces the numerous roles that all mothers experience

In The Scrabble Game there are seven different photos of his mothers hands We know her Parts ofher maternal experience repeat in our soul The most important act of artists mothers is giving birth The drive the talent the necessity to communishycate seems to supersede subsequent matershynal nurturing

The artist catches us like the midwives hands and holds us up to see new life We gasp in this generous gift

Mary Hubbard writes on spirituality and the arts from many artistic experishyences

Tall in Spirit

The Circle of Life by Joni Woelfel

Ancient scholars describe the soul as a circle a universal symbol of completeness and totality with no beginning and no end The circle represents all the never-ending cycles and seasons of life as well as the birth death and rebirth of the journey from the womb to the tomb and back to the womb of everlasting life

I have a beautiful necklace that is a treasure to me A gift from a friend it consists simply and elegantly of three circles within one another suspended on a gold chain I wear it in memory of our son who died a special symbol of comfort that enfolds many layers of meaning to me

It also serves to remind me that when we come full circle in life we come to an understanding of what it means to give of ourselves so that others might live and flourish This message is clearly our greatshyest hope

As we process our challenges through faith we come full circle into the fullness of Gods life within us We learn that God does not want us to live with worry despair and fear as hounds at our heels or as a cold hand at our backs

As we discover new life within and beshyyond our struggles we are able to channel it for the sake of others Never was this illustrated more powerfully than through the life and death of our friend Sharon

There were four of us Sharon Ann Libbie and myself all friends who met on our web site We knew Sharon was dying

Columns

0ok$ that tilt5r)Camp

_bull

CAJNfTICLE OF THE EARTH The Words of Francis of Assisi Celebrated in the photography y

of David amp Marc Muench Master landscape and wilderness photographers David Muench and his son Marc Muench magnificently bring St Francis time-honored song of praise to life through 70 stunning four-color photographs Their captivating images illustrate the sentimental of St Francis that all of nature from Brother Sun to Sister Moon is a gift from the Lord of Creation Readers will find Confide of the Earth lo be a source of inspiration and deep contemplation

ISBN 1-893732-45-2 64 pages full-color photographs throughout $1595

EARTHS ECHO Sacred Encounters With Nature

Robert M Hanuna hr Robert Hamma all of nature - the seashore the river the forest the desert the mountains - is not just a metaphor for God but a form of divine presence Earths Echo is a sacred and awe-inspiring book that is indispensable reading for anyone cttmm spiritual journey

mdash A n n i e Dillard Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Pilgrim at Tinker Crook ISBN 1-893732-46-0 192 pages $1295

SIMPLE DAYS A Journal on What Really Matters

Marlene A Schiwy Marlene Schiwy shares her journey toward living a simpler fife in a journal that she M over the course of a year She offers her reflections on paying attention to what m a f t ^ most and to looking where our lives are heading She encourages readers to ponder such questions as How Moth k Enough How Do I Balance Family Self And Career tad What Matters Most

ISBN 1-893732-30-4 224 pages $1495

- SORIN BOOKS At bookstores or _J_g Notre Dame Indiana 46556-1006 ph 18002821865 fax 18002825681

when we come full circle in life we come to an undershystanding of what it means to give of our selves so that others might live

Shed suffered a massive heart attack and was existing precariously on nitro-glycerin and oxygen

Doctors had not expected her to live but month after month she lingered As her physical body faded her voice of wisdom grew stronger and stronger As a circle of friends we grew as close to Sharon as I believe it is possible to be with a soul friend on this earth each in our own unique way Because Sharons words were so compelshy

ling and expansive I think I forgot she was dying She had such passion and her words were filled with inner vitality amazing creativity descriptions and expressions of her lifes joys sorrows and wounds She held nothing back

As a member of our core group she was devoted to ministering on our web site reaching out to others with uncommon honesty humor depth and commitment even when she was so ill she could barely leave her bed

And yet she was so ready to die She had a profound sense of eternity and the welshycoming arms of God and longed to write of it and often did to all of us We were not prepared when we got the word that she had died rather quickly in her husbands arms

She had prepared us as best she could there was nothing left unsaid but it was heartbreaking to let her go Just a few nights before she died I had a dream of an bull amazing cloud overhead that transformed into hundreds of wings After Sharon died I thought of freedom and the dream Sharon was free

But we three friends left behind felt such a hole in our little circle We were left to carry on knowing we would never hear her voice again in the way in which we were accustomed There had been such a conshynection between us

Through Sharon we learned what it means to be a mentor even in death I asked Libbie and Ann what that meant to them and they both said the same thing Libbie wrote it means having your life be the example of your beliefs sharing your thoughts and experiences with someone else but not forcing them to embrace your truths It means being a teacher rather than a preacher willing to give guidance and yet to know where the line is between guiding and leading

Ann eloquently wrote A mentor is just being the best example of whatever you are trying to mentor the person about being as honest and authentic as you can be that is how another learns from you

Sharon was our mentor in teaching us not only how to die but more importantly howto live grieve and integrate all that we are She taught us what it means to come full circle as a human being and a spiritual being Blessed be her beautiful memory

Joni and her husband have a web site for support for suicide and depression issues www geocities commics message index html

ffqflg 16 Q^gtwork for (Women fs Spirituality ltJuneltJu(ysltugust 2002

just ice ^SUCS

Just Concerns

Moretoworkthanwork by Betty Neville Michelozzi

Work is the way we tend the world once wrote Lance Morrow in Time Magashyzine Tend is a tender word We tend our children our pets our gardens encouragshying them to flourish Work is the way we provide for each other our basic needs for food clothing shelter health safety and our enriching wants beyond needs

Does our work nurture us others the world bringing greater life causing us all to flourish Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people doing walking meditation to imagine each step leaving a flower on the earth What footprints does our work leave behind Is our work proshyfoundly useful

A new concept has been growing since the early 70s socially-responsible investshying People invest in companies that proshyduce safe good-quality affordable prodshyucts excluding militarynuclear weapons and tobacco provide healthy work envishyronments with equal and fair opportunities for all workers respect the ecology and function ethically

Then why not invest not only our money but our lives by choosing socially responshysible workworkplaces

Looking carefully we find many people whose work improves the planet-some exshytraordinary some very humble Hunter and Amory Lovins for example have proven over several decades that with now-available and close-to-benign energy prodshyucts we could cut our dependence on Midshyeast oil and nuclear and fossil-fuel power dramatically while creating abundant wholesome jobs

For example just a 27 mpg better light vehicle fleet would save as much petroshyleum as we import from the Persian Gulf Needless to say our security would be improved the environment cleansed our lifestyles enhanced

Organic farmers and gardeners improve the soil save money and energy using fewer soil amendments provide more jobs and often when sold locally save vast amounts of transportationmdashall the while improving the health ofthe population

Architects design energy-saving buildshyings that nourish those who live and work in them Michael Corbett designed en-

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irreshysponsible work

ergy-efficient Village Homes in Davis Calishyfornia Their natural sewage systems avoid the flooding found in the rest of the city during torrential rains The natural landshyscape is enhanced with walking and bishycycle paths downplaying the need for cars Fruit trees and other food grow in abunshydance in common areas

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irresponsible work But for many the immediate imperative may inshyclude marriage and family and as Zorba the Greek says the whole catastrophe Socially responsible work may be a bit ofa stretch

Like people even the best work has less-than-perfect aspects But people can conshysider small steps toward a new goal taking courses in a different field changing the focus of their existing job working to imshyprove their workplace volunteering

A chiropractor his face alight with joy talks about how much he enjoys seeing people get well His patients are grateful A first-grade teacher encourages a childs discovery Its a its a its a word The child knows delight and is grateful

A manager encourages a timid employee and her self-esteem grows A considerate clerk an honest and caring repair ptprson-many peoples work leave footprints of joy and a more wholesome world behind them

A parent stretches just a little bit more to spend time with a child A seasoned citizen works for peace Not all work produces a paycheck Can we say that they are prophshyets those who show the rest of us a way that brings life enhances life radiates an integrity that uplifts others

Work Theres more to work than work more than meets the eye My yearly retreat gives me time to reflect again on how I spend the days of my life to give life to my days

Betty Neville Michelozzi is a social justice activist and volunter with Habitat for Humanity

Personal Pathways BodyMind Therapy

Brennan Healing Science amp Healing Touch

Surgery Preparation

Marian Webster KN MS 406921-2664 in practice at Center for Integrative Medicine San Jose CA 4082864325

Give this to the Man You Love

JlhAh Come to www3tmichaelrecord8com

for a free bookCD for the man in your life

St Michael Records is a non-profit Catholic Mens Ministry

Fewer Priests-Fewer Parishes

What Can We Do

Future of Priestly Ministry Dialogue Packet

Includes statistics from the US Bishops Catholic teaching on

Eucharist rights of the laity women and the diaconate Also education

prayer and advocacy materials that can be adapted

for your group ($10 donation)

Celebrate the Body of Christi A prayer service for the Feast of Corpus Christi

Modeled after the festive meals Jesus celebrated with marginalized memshybers of his own tradition A great opportunity to educate about the

Generality or Eucharist and potential loss of sacramental identity because

of the priest shortage (FREE)

Projects developed by FutureChurch 15800 Montrose Ave Cleveland OH 44111

216-228-0869 wwwfutiffechurdiorg in partnership with

Call to Action wwwcta-usaorg

Heartbeats

That feeling of home by Regina Cassidy

About ten years ago my husband and I decided that it was time that we either move or add onto our small home in order to accommodate our growing family Buying turned out to be prohibitive so we hired an architect and builder

The day finally came in April when we had to gather all of our belongings toshygether-including furniture-- and move into my in-laws home for a temporary stay Most of our things were stored in a friends garage piled high and definitely inaccesshysible

Ill never forget the feeling I had as I looked around our tight quarters uncertain where anything was cribs pushed into one room clothes in another I felt a mixture of loss and desperation and I thought to myself This must be how it feels to be homeless

Little did I know A few weeks ago at work I received two referrals on the same day for new clients Both were single women with young children who had reshycently been relocated to my borough of New York City due to domestic violence

Their moves had to be hasty and unshyplannedmdashthey received a sudden call from a social worker that a protected and anonyshymous setting had been found for them

This is it they were told Gather your childrens clothes any personal items that you can carry and well pick you up in the mini-van in a few hours

At the point when I received the calls each family had settled into their new places with literally only what they could

carry ^Now thev |ieeded^furmture^-beds ^cribfP-Tliving room sofa a kitchen table some dressers

Does anyone ever donate refrigerators one worker asked or even a small microshywave The oven did not work in her clients apartment I dutifully made a list of what each family

needed and walked upstairs slowly to put it in the inter-office mailbox of the person who handles such requests for my agency I questioned how quickly either would be filled and so I put Urgent on the top of each underscoring the presence and ages of the children in the home

Returning to myoffice I recalled that joyous time when my husband and I brought

Now I know that anything that can be donated should be donated

our family back to our newly-renovated home after an absence of six months My sons ran through the large and empty rooms excited and amazed at all the space Since then we have slowly filled it with our chairs tables and general clutter

(Though to date I still not have found everything that we had before that move) Weve even managed to acquire a few new things and plan more changes in the fushyture Now I know though that when I do anything that can be donated should be donated

A living room set that were tired of A bed mattress thats grown a little soft Dresser drawers that stick And that mishycrowave thats just a little too small or slow There is someone who is waiting for it A mother may need that microwave to heat up a meal for her children

A child may be eager to bounce on that bed to organize his clothes to sit at a slightly battered desk to do his homework in relative peace The family may be ready to gather around that worn kitchen table to celebrate tiieir first night in a new and safe home together

Ten years ago my move was by choice many do not have that privilege If theres a way to make their transition and relocashytion easier lets go for it

Ifyou would lure to^make donations of furniture in your area look in the Yellow Pages for a local charity that handles such requests Any agency that deals with doshymestic violence would welcome such conshytributions as would those that help young single mothers who choose to give birth to their unborn children

Finally soup kitchens food pantries and homeless shelters relocate people to more permanent homes on a regular basis as do transitional programs for the mentally ill and substance abusers

Regina Cassidy is a social worker in Staten Island NY

Its a funny thing about nurturing it seems like most of us are better at doing it than receiving it We are really good at recognizing when others are doing too much and we always seem to have words of wisdom handy to remind these over achievers to take care of yourself

Yet when it conies to recognizing our own needs we have a tendency to downplay the significance of our giving This may then lead to burnout

As a social worker providing assistance to foster children I have many opportunishyties to help heal and nurture others Yet this very system that wants to fix others is broken and in pain Without recognizshying its own need for nurturing how can this system ever begin to help another

I have found that unless I myself heal my brokenness I am unable to reach out honestly and offer real help to others This means I must find ways to care for myself mind body and spirit if I want to be of service and give something of value to another Nurturing begins with me

I find this same brokenness in parish life The church is so busy asking members to

Jeri Becker

serve she seems to forget that these minisshyters need to be nurtured as well Someshytimes the holiest thing one can do is say No when asked to serve And that is precisely why I currently find

myself in the process of offering a new ministry to my parish I have a vision of creating a center that will nurture the nurturers offering education on stress reshyduction and the mindbodyspirit connecshytion offering mini retreats and evening gatherings that will address individual conshycerns and needs

I envision a center that will not ask members to give but rather will give supshyport and encouragement to those in need of refreshment

Verna Fisher Cerritos CA

ffqflg 16 Q^gtwork for (Women fs Spirituality ltJuneltJu(ysltugust 2002

just ice ^SUCS

Just Concerns

Moretoworkthanwork by Betty Neville Michelozzi

Work is the way we tend the world once wrote Lance Morrow in Time Magashyzine Tend is a tender word We tend our children our pets our gardens encouragshying them to flourish Work is the way we provide for each other our basic needs for food clothing shelter health safety and our enriching wants beyond needs

Does our work nurture us others the world bringing greater life causing us all to flourish Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people doing walking meditation to imagine each step leaving a flower on the earth What footprints does our work leave behind Is our work proshyfoundly useful

A new concept has been growing since the early 70s socially-responsible investshying People invest in companies that proshyduce safe good-quality affordable prodshyucts excluding militarynuclear weapons and tobacco provide healthy work envishyronments with equal and fair opportunities for all workers respect the ecology and function ethically

Then why not invest not only our money but our lives by choosing socially responshysible workworkplaces

Looking carefully we find many people whose work improves the planet-some exshytraordinary some very humble Hunter and Amory Lovins for example have proven over several decades that with now-available and close-to-benign energy prodshyucts we could cut our dependence on Midshyeast oil and nuclear and fossil-fuel power dramatically while creating abundant wholesome jobs

For example just a 27 mpg better light vehicle fleet would save as much petroshyleum as we import from the Persian Gulf Needless to say our security would be improved the environment cleansed our lifestyles enhanced

Organic farmers and gardeners improve the soil save money and energy using fewer soil amendments provide more jobs and often when sold locally save vast amounts of transportationmdashall the while improving the health ofthe population

Architects design energy-saving buildshyings that nourish those who live and work in them Michael Corbett designed en-

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irreshysponsible work

ergy-efficient Village Homes in Davis Calishyfornia Their natural sewage systems avoid the flooding found in the rest of the city during torrential rains The natural landshyscape is enhanced with walking and bishycycle paths downplaying the need for cars Fruit trees and other food grow in abunshydance in common areas

Socially responsible work The opposite is socially irresponsible work But for many the immediate imperative may inshyclude marriage and family and as Zorba the Greek says the whole catastrophe Socially responsible work may be a bit ofa stretch

Like people even the best work has less-than-perfect aspects But people can conshysider small steps toward a new goal taking courses in a different field changing the focus of their existing job working to imshyprove their workplace volunteering

A chiropractor his face alight with joy talks about how much he enjoys seeing people get well His patients are grateful A first-grade teacher encourages a childs discovery Its a its a its a word The child knows delight and is grateful

A manager encourages a timid employee and her self-esteem grows A considerate clerk an honest and caring repair ptprson-many peoples work leave footprints of joy and a more wholesome world behind them

A parent stretches just a little bit more to spend time with a child A seasoned citizen works for peace Not all work produces a paycheck Can we say that they are prophshyets those who show the rest of us a way that brings life enhances life radiates an integrity that uplifts others

Work Theres more to work than work more than meets the eye My yearly retreat gives me time to reflect again on how I spend the days of my life to give life to my days

Betty Neville Michelozzi is a social justice activist and volunter with Habitat for Humanity

Personal Pathways BodyMind Therapy

Brennan Healing Science amp Healing Touch

Surgery Preparation

Marian Webster KN MS 406921-2664 in practice at Center for Integrative Medicine San Jose CA 4082864325

Give this to the Man You Love

JlhAh Come to www3tmichaelrecord8com

for a free bookCD for the man in your life

St Michael Records is a non-profit Catholic Mens Ministry

Fewer Priests-Fewer Parishes

What Can We Do

Future of Priestly Ministry Dialogue Packet

Includes statistics from the US Bishops Catholic teaching on

Eucharist rights of the laity women and the diaconate Also education

prayer and advocacy materials that can be adapted

for your group ($10 donation)

Celebrate the Body of Christi A prayer service for the Feast of Corpus Christi

Modeled after the festive meals Jesus celebrated with marginalized memshybers of his own tradition A great opportunity to educate about the

Generality or Eucharist and potential loss of sacramental identity because

of the priest shortage (FREE)

Projects developed by FutureChurch 15800 Montrose Ave Cleveland OH 44111

216-228-0869 wwwfutiffechurdiorg in partnership with

Call to Action wwwcta-usaorg

Heartbeats

That feeling of home by Regina Cassidy

About ten years ago my husband and I decided that it was time that we either move or add onto our small home in order to accommodate our growing family Buying turned out to be prohibitive so we hired an architect and builder

The day finally came in April when we had to gather all of our belongings toshygether-including furniture-- and move into my in-laws home for a temporary stay Most of our things were stored in a friends garage piled high and definitely inaccesshysible

Ill never forget the feeling I had as I looked around our tight quarters uncertain where anything was cribs pushed into one room clothes in another I felt a mixture of loss and desperation and I thought to myself This must be how it feels to be homeless

Little did I know A few weeks ago at work I received two referrals on the same day for new clients Both were single women with young children who had reshycently been relocated to my borough of New York City due to domestic violence

Their moves had to be hasty and unshyplannedmdashthey received a sudden call from a social worker that a protected and anonyshymous setting had been found for them

This is it they were told Gather your childrens clothes any personal items that you can carry and well pick you up in the mini-van in a few hours

At the point when I received the calls each family had settled into their new places with literally only what they could

carry ^Now thev |ieeded^furmture^-beds ^cribfP-Tliving room sofa a kitchen table some dressers

Does anyone ever donate refrigerators one worker asked or even a small microshywave The oven did not work in her clients apartment I dutifully made a list of what each family

needed and walked upstairs slowly to put it in the inter-office mailbox of the person who handles such requests for my agency I questioned how quickly either would be filled and so I put Urgent on the top of each underscoring the presence and ages of the children in the home

Returning to myoffice I recalled that joyous time when my husband and I brought

Now I know that anything that can be donated should be donated

our family back to our newly-renovated home after an absence of six months My sons ran through the large and empty rooms excited and amazed at all the space Since then we have slowly filled it with our chairs tables and general clutter

(Though to date I still not have found everything that we had before that move) Weve even managed to acquire a few new things and plan more changes in the fushyture Now I know though that when I do anything that can be donated should be donated

A living room set that were tired of A bed mattress thats grown a little soft Dresser drawers that stick And that mishycrowave thats just a little too small or slow There is someone who is waiting for it A mother may need that microwave to heat up a meal for her children

A child may be eager to bounce on that bed to organize his clothes to sit at a slightly battered desk to do his homework in relative peace The family may be ready to gather around that worn kitchen table to celebrate tiieir first night in a new and safe home together

Ten years ago my move was by choice many do not have that privilege If theres a way to make their transition and relocashytion easier lets go for it

Ifyou would lure to^make donations of furniture in your area look in the Yellow Pages for a local charity that handles such requests Any agency that deals with doshymestic violence would welcome such conshytributions as would those that help young single mothers who choose to give birth to their unborn children

Finally soup kitchens food pantries and homeless shelters relocate people to more permanent homes on a regular basis as do transitional programs for the mentally ill and substance abusers

Regina Cassidy is a social worker in Staten Island NY

Its a funny thing about nurturing it seems like most of us are better at doing it than receiving it We are really good at recognizing when others are doing too much and we always seem to have words of wisdom handy to remind these over achievers to take care of yourself

Yet when it conies to recognizing our own needs we have a tendency to downplay the significance of our giving This may then lead to burnout

As a social worker providing assistance to foster children I have many opportunishyties to help heal and nurture others Yet this very system that wants to fix others is broken and in pain Without recognizshying its own need for nurturing how can this system ever begin to help another

I have found that unless I myself heal my brokenness I am unable to reach out honestly and offer real help to others This means I must find ways to care for myself mind body and spirit if I want to be of service and give something of value to another Nurturing begins with me

I find this same brokenness in parish life The church is so busy asking members to

Jeri Becker

serve she seems to forget that these minisshyters need to be nurtured as well Someshytimes the holiest thing one can do is say No when asked to serve And that is precisely why I currently find

myself in the process of offering a new ministry to my parish I have a vision of creating a center that will nurture the nurturers offering education on stress reshyduction and the mindbodyspirit connecshytion offering mini retreats and evening gatherings that will address individual conshycerns and needs

I envision a center that will not ask members to give but rather will give supshyport and encouragement to those in need of refreshment

Verna Fisher Cerritos CA

ltJuneltJuly^ugust 2002 Network for Womens Spirituality foflg I

I Nourishment of mindfulness

A flower nurtures and gives life by just being It stands gallantly in the present moment come what may It gives of itself just by being what it is Its beauty shines forth because it lives in oneness with God

I too nurture and give life by standing in the present moment at one with God Nurshyturing life-giving actions flow from the intense gratitude love and joy that fill me to overflowing

This outpouring abundance is a result of the nurturing I receive from Life I have been a member of the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur since 1963 and a practitioshyner of Zen Awareness Meditation for the past 20 years

For ten of those years I was privileged to live as a Zen Monk at a Monastery that I helped create in the Sierra Nevada footshyhills

As a Catholic I embrace Zen Meditation as a process that gives rise to living in the Presence of God It is this meditation contemplation practice of Mindful Comshypassionate Awareness which along with the Gospels of Jesus sustains and nourishes me

Phyllis DAnna SNDdeN Mountain View CA

Charlotte Attebery

Loving attention When Mother Therese was asked How

can I help mdash her simple reply was just look around you

My opportunity to find the Way came at just such a least expected moment During my 25 years in San Mateo CA I was introduced to daily practice of Tai Chi Chi I realized more and more the value of preserving flexibility mobility balance and focus

Now living in Richmond VA some of the residents in this community likewise experience stiff sore joints and even imshymobility which can accompany aging

When approached on the subject of my present agilitymdashat age 80++ I gave credit to the gentle slow controlled movements of Tai Chi practice By word of mouth a group of 30 or more

organized and of course I gladly volunshyteered to lead practice each week Presshyently even in my absence one of the regulars takes the lead

An invitation from the Little Sisters of the Poor encouraged me again to volunteer where a few follow Tai Chi as best they can while seated They further maintain that the mild exercise has limbered their arthritic joints

The practice sessions have taken on a new dimension of mutual support quiet meditation concern and contentment Surrounding Senior Centers offer similar

classes at a substantial price While here the only price is to give loving attention to the aches and pains of our close neighbors and friends

Virginia Drozd Richmond VA

Inner Gardenins

Summer Wisdom by Diane Dreher

In summer the miracle of life is all around us Long sunny days invite us outshydoors to cultivate contemplate and celshyebrate the season

There are many garden tasks this time of year planting summer annuals herbs and warm weather vegetables staking tomashytoes gladioluses and dahlias weeding watering deadheading the roses and enshyjoying summers bounty of herbs fruits and vegetables

Easy to grow in pots as well as in garden plots most familiar herbs have long tradishytions of nurturing and healing Basil (Ocimum basilicum) was used in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance to flavor sauces and strewn around the house to sweeten the air

Sage (Salvia officinalis from the Latinmdash Salvare to heal) was used in medicine and cooking by the Romans Medieval and Renaissance men and women used sage to flavor soups and poultry mixed it in potshypourris chewed it to clean their teeth and blended it into lotions to soothe aches and pains

Thyme (Thymus) was cooked in soups and pottages strewn around the house and drunk in a tea to inspire courage and heal indigestion colds and depression Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis) was a favorite Renaissance herb associated with love and friendship used to celebrate wedshydings and to flavor meats and wine

Rosemary tea was drunk as a tonic to cheer the heart To heal sore throats and

Our lives are our gardens We can plant seeds for new projects or healthy new habshyits for ourselves

colds herbalists still recommend this tea made with a teaspoon of dried rosemary leaves steeped in a cup of boiling water

Like herbs many varieties of tomatoes grow well in containers Native to Central and South America tomatoes were brought to Europe during the Renaissance

Believed to cause illness or insanity they were grown in Europe as orshynamentals until reshysourceful Italians began cooking them with herbs and olive oil

Today they are prized for their

health-giving vitamin nCari-Tlycopene and nothshy

ing tastes more like summer than a sweet vine-ripened tomato

As you cultivate your summer garden remember to be water wise Most plants need at least one inch of water a week (either rain or irrigation) To conserve moisture water in the early morning or late afternoon and insulate your soil with a two-to three-inch layer of mulch

Some plants have special watering needs Roses need to be deep-watered with at least one gallon per bushmdasheven more in hot weather Tiny seedlings germinating seeds and new bedding plants need extra watershying to get established Plants also need more water when theyre

setting buds flowering and bearing fruit

Gardening

as well as when theyre growing in containshyers or in hot sunny or windy areas

Like the plants in our gardens our own nurturing needs differ according to our personal development and the situation around us When we go through periods of intensive growth challenge and stress we need more nurturing more time for whatshyever brings us peace joy and renewal

We develop through life in response to our needs According to psychologist Abraham Maslow we not only have basic needs for air water food and shelter essential for our physical survival

We also have higher needs for beauty order justice simplicity and meaning without which our spirits languish as surely as plants wither from lack of water

This summer as we nurture ourselves our families and friends with ripe summer fruits and vegetables let us also remember to nurture our spirits taking time for beauty meaning and the other gifts of life that cultivate greater peace within and around us

Diane Dreher PhD is the author of Inner Gardening A Seasonal Path to Inner Peace in a new paperback edition available at your bookstore Antaz0neom or HarperCollins 1800331-3761 Diane teaches Renaissance literature and Creshyative Writing at Santa Clara University

Menopause Naturally (Health

In India few women have hot flashes or other unpleasant symptoms of menopause In some Muslim cultures women are thought to be holier after their change of life In Indonesia menopause is undershystood as the entrance into midlife and is marked by ceremonies of celebration

Among many other cultures the elder woman is treasured as a source of wisdom but in America menopause is treated as a disease It is the end of beauty and the beginning of irreversible physical and mental decline

In his book Reclaiming Our Health author John Robbins points out that the American Medical Assn does not treat this normal life transition as healthy The belief prevails that Mother Nature made a mistake in designing women and arranged life after 50 as a time with little purpose The medical professions infatuation with

estrogen began in 1938 when the worlds first synthetic estrogenmdashdiethylstilbestrol (DES) was discovered

The founder Dr Charles Dodds did not take out a patent on the drug but gave it away freely With visions of dollars in their heads the pharmaceutical industry took out many patents and began marketing the drug The AMA played along

In the 1960s Wyeth-Ayerst who made Estrogen Replacement Therapy (ERT) fishynanced the work of gynecologist Robert Wilson MD who published his book Femishynine Forever in which he heralded ERT as the savior that would rescue women from the horrors of old age

For a culture which sees wrinkles as a calamity ERT became one of the best selling drugs in the U S The bubble burst in the late 1970s when women discovered ERT increased their chance of uterine canshycer more than tenfold All the more reason to have a hysterectomy and doctors and women complied Few were told their chances of breast cancer would increase

Today advertising extols the virtues of hormones making women feel less confishydent in themselves Some alternatives Hot flashes Estrogen usually reduces hot flashes but they will return when the estroshygen is stopped Some women see hot flashes as energy surges and learn to see them as part of a positive experience in transition Women who exercise regularly and eat a healthy vegetarian diet have less frequent and less severe hot flashes One controlled study of 94 women found that taking 200 mg of vitamin C along with 200 mg of bioflavonoids six times a day provided complete relief for 67 percent of women and partial relief for an additional 21 percent Wayne State University studies found that a combination of progressive muscle relaxation and deep slow breathing reshyduced womens hot flashes by 50 percent Use of Vitamin E acupuncture hypnosis yoga meditation homeopathic remedies ginseng and other herbs (black cohosh and chaste tree) were also found effective Osteoporosis Worldwide osteoporosis is only a problem among meat- and dairy-eating peoples In the US female meat-eaters at the age of 65 have lost an average of 35 percent of their bone mass while female vegetarians of the same age have lost only 18 percent

Diary products are not the best source of calcium since they are accompanied by animal protein that leaches calcium from the bones The five countries with the highest dairy intake have the highest rates of osteoporosis Exercise is important as is the avoidance of excessive alcohol salt-caffeine cola drinks and sugar

The use of natural progesterone cream (not to be confused with the progestins such as Provera) applied to skin has been found by John R Lee MD to be effective in reversing bone loss when used in con-

the American Medical Assn does not treat this norshymal life transition as healthy

junction with diet and exercise ( Since many creams are sold it is important to do research or have qualified help in selecting a cream Some list the amount of progesshyterone in the cream and some do not or have too small a level to be effective) Reclaiming Menopause Why is it that many women feel they have

to masquerade as younger women While there are women who have a difficult menoshypause it is not always because of hormonal imbalances Drug companies trivialize womens lives by implying that hormones are the answer

Some 90 percent of women taking esshytrogen along with progestins experience monthly bleeding and those taking it with or without progestins are at risk for liver and gallbladder disease

Premarin which is advertised as being natural comes from pregnant mares urine Female horses are made pregnant each year tethered so they can hardly move kept dehydrated so their concentrated urine can be collected Each year 90000 foals are disposed of as unwanted by-products

Not all ERT drugs stem from such crushyelty some come from plant estrogens

Condensed from Reclaiming Our Health Exploding the Medical Myth and Embracing the Source of True Healing John Robbins HJ Earner Inc Tiburon CA 1996

This book includes alternative insights into childbirth fertility medical moshynopoly cancer and partnership in heal-ing John Robbins has receivedthe Rachel Carson Award and his work featured in a PBSspecial Diet for a NewAmerica He lives in Santa Cruz CA

__ f l e 18 Qfetwork for Women fs Spirituality Juneflutyaugust 2002

ON tfte Shelf This is not about finding your

soulmate it is about finding the soul in yOUr mate Marriage from the Heart

Give to Your Hearts Content Without Giving Yourself Away Linda R Harper Innisfree Press Philadelphia PA 2002 $1495 8003675872

God loves a cheerful giver so scripture tells us But Jesus also reminds his disciples to accept hospitality from others so they may nurshyture themselves for their own mission Amerishycans especially women are noted for giving but for what reason Three types of giversmdash-the trader the martyr and the controllermdashall foshycus on die outcome of their giving which deshyprives them of die real joy of giving from the heart Joyful giving on the other hand expects no return Challenges for joyful giving are authenticity acceptance and appreciation

This is not a book about giving moremdashbut about giving authentically from your deepest self your soul It has no strings attached no expectations

This book offers a five-lesson guide designed to put your soul back into your experiences of everyday giving Give wholly to yourself Unconditionally choose to give Integrate your unique gifts Delight in the act of giving Experience the expanding capacity to give

The book contains self-inventories contemshyplations practices and rewards to help the read evaluate her style of giving and explore ways to prevent depletion and burnout It has a five-session outline for church groups

Marriage from the Heart Eight Comshymitments of a Spiritually Fulfilling Life Together Lois Kellerman and Nelly Bly Penguin Putnam Inc New York NY 2123662000 $2395

Marriage is not about finding our soul mate it is about finding die soul in our mates Psychologist and nationally-known human relashytions leader Lois Kellerman draws up eight commitments for a Spiritually Fulfilling Life Together for married couples 1 Centering I will create a warm loving home life and place my marriage it its center

2 Choosing I will cultivate the discipline of choosing wisely 3 Honoring I will have reverence for my partner and myself 4 Caring I will be a source of loving care for my partner setting my heart upon what matters most 5 Abiding I will have faith patiently persistshying through lifes many changes 6 Repairing I will work to mend what is broken in my partner and myself 7 Listening I wilt stay open to new insight however unlikely the source 8 Celebrating I will celebrate spiritual values with my partner and others

This small volume (260 pages however) conshytains insightful quotesreflection questions keys and stories to make very interesting reading It is an all-encompassing lesson for how to acshytively celebrate life and love with the person vou love most

Jeri Becker

Practicing Your Path A Book of Intenshytional Retreats Holly Whiteomb Innisfree Press Inc Philadelphia PA 18003675872 $1595

Just as you can choose to walk by yourself in meditation or hike with a group for support and encouragment so too can you make a retreat Holly Whitcomft has crafted a book of seven-retreats with suggestions for how to make a retreat alone or with a group The main reason for a retreat is to gain perspective which brings with it wisdom and discernment

The focus is on the process of practicing the path of holiness not on a product This book invites you to practice Sabbath hospitality

The Nurturer by Judith McWalter-Santi

Richmond CA

Because she planted seeds and watered and weeded through dirt and thorny bushes She brought forth life Flowers filled with beauty and delicious food for us to eat

Because she played a flute And took a mass of clay and molded it gendy with her hands And sang her song She added to the sweetness of creation

Because she prepared and fed others at her table She nurtured life and helped to ward off pangs of hunger

Because she drew with her artistic brush And clicked the shutter ofthe cameras eye She reproduced the miracle of living For so many others to see

Because she held her friends and rocked them through their tears of pain She was a gentle healer and helped to make life more bearable

Because she ran a marathon for herself and you and me and stood in darkness though dared to light a candle She brough forth courage

Because she took the time to patiently listen to visit to speak Or simply to smile back She encouraged life itself

Beccause she believed in her own powers She stretched her body and her mind Challenged herself with Inew things And in her way commanded life to grow to fullness

Because she prayed She courageously journeyed to the source of all of life And thus came to understand herself and others a little better

It was sometimes a lonely journey Because for so long she was taught and did believe that to be a mother one must physically bear a child through her vagina It was difficult sometimes to hold up the invisible treasures of her making And stand strong and proud But slowly ever so so slowly She began to understand that to be a mother was to give and care for all of life And that by her presence and in so many different kinds of ways She most surely did

prayer and action the fast giving back to God your call and accountability

Each retreat suggests ways to create sacred space welcome the morning center meditate reflect sing breathe pray and create rituals It includes scripture readings and art as meditashytion

A very helpful book for groups or individushyals

What Brings You to Life Beverly Eanes Lee Richmond and Jean Link Paulist Press Mahwah NJ 2001 wwwpaulistpresscom $1495

This is a treasure of inspiration It is an invitation to connect with the things that bring you to life by learning to connect and nurture your own self

Through delightful short stories insightful quotes from men and women highlights and personal reflections these three authors help you reach deep inside and find yourself in your heartfelt yearnings

You come to life by dancing the rhythms of life valuing your true essence connecting with memories and experiences touching the sacred and your own woman soul with creativity and mirth

A lovely gift for yourself or others as well as discussion material for a group

Tai Chi According to the I Ching Stuart Alve Olson Inner Traditions Rochester VT 2001 wwwInnerTraditionscom $1995

Tai Chi the Chinese art of gentle moveshyment mental tranquillity and harmonious breathing is familiar to many Americans It is a system of exercise based on adapting to change yet embracing the fixed like a willow tree whose branches sway easily in the wind while its trunk and roots remain unmoved

Perhaps not so familiar to many Americans is the I Ching a 5000-year-old book of divination or enlightenment also known as the Book of Changes This book takes on the challenging task of relating the eight basic postures of Tai Chi to the eight Diagram images of the I Ching

Tai Chi postures include warding-off rollshying-back pressing pushing pulling splitting

elbowing The I Ching eight Diagrams are heaven valley fire thunder earth mountain water and wind

This book is written for the serious student of Tai Chi or I Ching The author uses more than 250 photographs and a step-by-step guide to each posture to help guide the reader in learning to master the practice of Tai Chi so as to access all the health and philosophical benefits of Tai Chi as well as to gain insight into the philosophy of the I Ching

The Holy Order of Water Healing Earths Waters and Ourselves William EMarks Bell Pond Books Great Barrington MA wwwbellpondbookscom 2000 $1800

We are at a crucial turning point If we do not change the way we respect and manage our freshwater supplies within the next ten years we might as well as write off civilization as We KltOW it Gilberts Grosvenor National Geographic Society 1998

Water touches each of us every day for it is a mystery on which our very lives depend believes author William Marks longtime advocate for protecting water In this book he taps into the mystery of water admitting that at times he believes he was actually able to communicate with water

As he studied water he learned he was not the first Marks explores the idea that where there is water there is life since water is now being found in cosmic clouds around black holes and in the tails of comets Water on the scales of fish is much like brands on cattlemdashthey give clues to the pond where the fish are born This book provides more information than you ever dreamed about watermdashit is an Aha moment in valuing this resource we often take for granted

Just as water is the blood of the earth flowing through its muscles and veins (Kuan Tsu) so also is it the lifeblood of human bodies Our very act of thinking is possible because our brains float in water This book tells fascinating tales of water along with the crisis we face in water pollution deforestation and dams and water wars One chapter deals with the healing powers of water both for humans and the earth He describes the healing power of dew the healing sound of water and the therapeutic role of water during and after sexual experience Yet at the same time water is the medium in which almost all chemical reactions take place which are the source of many health problems on earth

The final chapter ends on a hopeful note pointing out that history teaches us how humans and all life forms are always evolving and that as we evolve we will learn how water was is and always will be the source of our awakening and survival He believes that as we learn to care for water we will find peace

Words from

_ fe j

Wisdom

^vT

isect )

Belly laughs nurture both body and soul

Carrie McClish

bull l l yy$fL^ 5B5si51|_(g=5jf

) BBSR

Pass one on

ltJuneltJu(ys4jtgust 2002 Qjetwork for Womens Spirituality ffaflg 19

ffihoto Reflection

Our dresses Our dresses Our dresses are alike

I do so want to be different I do so want to be me

Do you suppose Oh could it really be

that maybe its whats inside me

that makes me unique Arlene Goetze Sunnyvale CA

You didnt send me an invitation to your birthday party

My mother even bought you a gift I thought we were friends I guess were

not So long Oh what did I say to her Im so very

sorry Im sad for saying that I wonder if we can ever be friends again

Im going to ask her Lillian Silver

Walnut Creek CA

I thought we were going to have fun this afternoon

Now she says she has to babysit her little brother

What a bummer We were hoping for a great time

together Mom says I need a Plan B

when things dont go my way Well maybe I could offer to help

with her brother I think we have to go with Plan B

Charlottle Attebery Santa Monica

The bride pictured them gorgeous in green-

pretty maids all in a row But one confused colleen

distressed by the delay awaits in anticipation

her own trip down the aisle As for little brother in satin vest-

snakes and snails and puppy dog tails

Nancy Battilega Littleton CO

Websites wwwwomen-churchconvergenceorg Women-Church Convergence has launched its first website and hopes to attract womens organizations to membership in the conshyvergence

The convergence has sent mailings to bishops around world to condemn sexual abuse of nuns by African clergy and intershycede with the government against the war in Afghanistan

Peace Liturgies Timely prayerful and provocative Seven

liturgies are available ($15 each) from WATER Womens Alliance for Theology Ethics amp Ritual 8035 13th St Silver Spr ing MD 20910 301 589 2509 waterherscom

HEALING TOUCH

DONNA BELL RN Certified Holistic Nurse

Certified Healing Touch Practioner

(408) 267-5580 351 S Baywood Sar J o s e

Reduce Stress Increase Energy Prevent Disease Reduce Pain

Enhance Inner Peace

Balance your energy fields Enhance your personal health

_ spiritual development

Grant application available Marys Pence now 15 years old seeks

collections in order to fund womens minshyistry projects especially those with ecoshynomically disadvantaged women and chilshydren Since its founding in Chicago by Maureen

Gallagher OP on April 29 the feast of Catherine of Siena Marys Pence has dishyrected about $800000 to 400 women-led ministries

Funds have boosted womens spirits and ministries in Nicaragua and Haiti in Brashyzil and Mexico in California and Tennesshysee and many places inbetween They go to co-ops and shelters to abused women and childrens health projects

Marys Pence was formed to provide aid to women much as Peters Pence goes to support the Vatican Ifyou would like an application to apply for a grant or just to donate to the organization 7324529611 or 402 Main St 210 Metuchen NJ 08840 M a r y s P N J a o l c o m or wwwMarysPence org

Study grants are available to women preparing for ministry Deadline is June 1 but you can connect you for next deadline

Customized Editorial We shape ideas with words

Calendar

Planning editing positioning nonficton

Family memoirs Business articles Spiritual diaries letters amp more

Ieditmcnorg wwwmarshasinetarcom 7075755555

Redondo Retreat Center Jemez Springs N M

ANCIENT LANDS RETREAT Walk and pray in the sacred ruins of Chaco Canyon

and Bandelier homes of the Ancient Ones the Anasazi and lodge in the beautiful Jemez Mts of NM

Four Days$450 includes ground transportation meals lodging and trips plus options such as Native American led sweats

drumming natural hot pools and introduction to Celtic Spirituality Extra days are also an option at cost

Call Sharon for dates 1 505 8293185 e m a i l r e d o n d o j e m e z c o m

June 2 - Day of P rave r for Healing Future Church invites all to take part in a national day of prayer on the Feast of Corpus Christi to help heal the broken Body of Christ in light of the national scandal of clergy sexual abuse of children They ask all to wear a green lapel ribbon as a sign of healing and hope for the churchs renewal June 7-9 - Annual conference of the Catholic Network for Womens Equality (CNWE) in Canada in Edmonton Alberta Featuring Mary Malone author of Women and Christianity Vol I The First One thousand Years for more informationmdash wwwccnweorgconferenceshtm J u n e 7-16 - Explore the Sacred Universe Sunrise Ranch Loveland CO hosted by Earth Literacy Companions of Colorado Piedmont bioregion A ten-day Earth Literacy immersion experience focusing on integrating intellectual understanding of the Great Work and the Unishyverse Story with primary experience of the natural world Contact Susan Maus 3038413660 johncmausaolcom June 17-22 - Contemplative Ear thweek Retreat Santa Sabina Center San Rafael CA led by Kym Farmer Therese Grumley and Mary Ellen Hill An experiential retreat offershying an immersion in the deep realities of Earth home and cosmic beginnings Contact 4154577727

June 24-29 - Embrac ing the Hear t of Nature at Mercy Center Burlingame CA A contemplative in-depth exploration into the spriituality of the Earth 6503407474

June 26-28 - Summer re t reat Call to Action Next Generation at Cabrini Retreat Center Desplaines IL Out ofthe Ordinary-Discover the fire ofthe Spirit burning within us 7734044004 or ctacta-usaorg wwwcta-usaorg

July 7-12 - Summer Institute for Liturgy and Worship Seattle Univeristy School of Theology and Ministry Join in theological and pastoral conversation with speakers musicians and others Call 2062955984 or email bergerpseattleuedu July 20-21 - in Mar in County CA Gods and Goddesses are Playing Live in Each of Us Colors mandalas and heavenly Sounds with Mayumi Oda and Silvia Nakkach voxmundiyahoocom or 4158682145 wwwvoxmundiprojectcom

August 12-16 - 9th International Women and Health Meeting in Toronto Canada Health activists from around the world will advocate for essential health resources and the rights of women and girls It will focus on sexual and reproductive rights violence against women and environmental health Registrashytion form online at httpiwhm-rifsorgeng registerhtm Aug 24-25 on the Pacific Ocean Embody and Dancing the Divine Energy Focus on the creative power of East Indian and Afri-Brazilian Musical Deities through visualshyization movement sound and ritual voxmundiyahoocom or 4158682145

Summer Lectures Santa Clara University

Santa Clara CA at 730pm in Williman Room June 19 Forms of Violence and the Vioshylence of Forms Gina Hens-Piazza PhD June 26 Quranic Scripture amp Womens Issues in Islamic Society D Pinault PhD July 17 Gender and Justice The Bordershylands Reality and Challenge Daisy Machado PhD July 24 Lay Ecclesial Ministry A New Flowering in Our Church Amy Hoey RSM

$10 at door 4085544831

^infcs S a n t a C l a r a C o u n t y

Womens Group 9 -1130 am Second Monshyday of each month at CWN office 877 Spinosa Dr Sunnyvale Prayer discussion and ritual Call in advance 4082458663 Spiritual Growth Group Mornings in south San Jose Calle Kate 4082691092 Book Discussion Groups Two groups meet monthly to discuss books Morning group in San Jose Call Kathy for time and place 4089786687 Evening group in Sunnyvale Call Gerry at 4087363521

Fresno CA Lvdias House monthly meeting for prayer friendships sharing and ritual Call 5594491281

Cazadero CA 95421 Womens sharing group Call Sara at 7076325757 rvrdancesonicnet If you wish your sharing group publicized send notice to CWN

Network for (Womens Spirituality ltJuneltJulysigust 2002

Ccyyr(^ (programs

Zen and the Heart of Jesus Sat July 27 - 915to 12 noon Sunny Mew Retirement Community 22445 Cupertino Rd Cupertino CA

$15 (Low Income $8)

Who does not want to live in joy Who does not want to feel united in love Who does not want to be happy Both Jesus and the Buddha are constant reminders to us that we do not have to live hard suffering lives that joy peace love happiness and all the wonderful qualities of life that we seek are our birthright As a matter of fact we already have what we seekmdash this realization is enlightenment

In this workshop we will explore and learn ways to practice the secret to a happy enlightened life Compassionate Mindful Awareness Waking up to the Present Moment in compassionate awareness is what enables us to realize that we are whole complete lovable children of God

Led by Phyllis DAnna SNDdeN Sister Phil is a spiritual teacher whose

enthusiasm for the spiritual life is contashygious She has been a Sister of Notre Dame de Namur for 38 years and has practiced Zen for 20 of those years

She lived and practiced for ten years at the Zen Monastery Practice Center in Murphys CA under the direction ofher teacher Cheri Huber Phil literally helped build the Monastery doing carpentry plumbing and needed electrical work while she was there At the Monastery as head monk she was responsible for overseeing the monastic training as well as facilitating Zen Retreats and workshops

Since 1997 she has lived in the Bay Area and is working on the sisters Health and Wellness Team giving spiritual and emotional support to the sick dying and

elderly sisters Her personal ministry is making the moment-by-moment awareshyness practice of Zen available to Chrisshytians

She facilitates Zen Christian meditashytion evenings in the Bay Area and is coshyauthor of two daily practice workbooks Advent Season of Joy and Lent Seashyson of Compassion She is co-founder of Living Compassion a non-profit orshyganization seeking to deepen each individuals relationship with God through the practice of awareness and meditation

Register on form below Deadline July 22 Late registration call 4082458663

Program cancelled June 22 How vour House Affects Your Health Clues from

Fen2 Shui has been cancelled Watch this space for time for rescheduling

C(W(^(IcJjgistration ^orm

Please register me for

Sat July 27 Zen and the Heart of Jesus (SI5 $8 low income) $_

Confirmation lettermaps will be sent a week in advance of event

Name Phone

Address

Citv Zip

E-Mail

Mail to Catholic Womens Network 877 Spinosa Dr Sunnyvale CA 94087

Extra copies postage

6 copies 12 18 24 30

of this issue are Priority $350 400 515 635 755

available for the cost of Media Mail $200 $200 250 300 350

If your baby is beautiful and perfect never cries or fusses sleeps on schedule and burps on demand an angel all the time you We the grandma

Teresa Bloomingdale

ast issues Our past issues are mighty good reading So is our book Wisdom Along the Way a collection of past themes plus Wholly Mother Church cartoons Photo Reflections and the poems and essays of 55 women |y_j_

Please send me the following super reading Wisdom Along the Way (1998) Back issues of CWN are $125 each

78 Fear Not 77 Sacred Art of Dying 76 Ways Women Lead 75 God Beyond 74 This Body is Holy 73 Sacred Space 72 (65) Ask the Animals 71 The Chains of Greed 70 Feminine Principle Holding Up the World 69 Peace is Flowing like a River 68 Styles of Thinking 67 Create Create (Imagination) 66 Hope A Sense of the Possible 65 Change Ready Set go 64 Music the Power of Sound 63 Love Whats It All About 62 Values Treasures of Worth 61 Soul Sweet Mystery of Life 60 Amazing Grace 58 Justice the Virtue of Fairness 57 Honesty and Integrity 55 Mysticism Seeing with an Inner Eye 52 Earth a Living Being 51 Mary Who is She 49 Healing an Inner Glow (Nov 96) 48 Let my Prayer Rise Like Incense (Sep 96)

Total number of copies

x $ 9 = $

x $125 each = $ Special prices 5 or more of same issue mdash $50 each

Name_

Street

Total enclosed $_

Hphone

City

E-mail Mail to CWN 877 Spinosa Dr Sunnyvale

State

94087 or

Zip

FAX 4087382767

Ifyou would like to have this paper delivshyered to your home please tell us how

Please send NETWORK for one year by First Class Mail (1 -2 day delivery) $ 1800 Bulk Mail (2 days to 2 weeks delivery) $ 1200 Please put me on the list not able to donate now

Bundles of each issue are available for postage 3-15 copies $25 yr 16-24- $30 25-40 $35 Send copies of each issue $

Please send copy of Wisdom along the Way $ 900 (Great 1998 collection of past articles cartoons poems etc)

Total enclosed $

Name Phone

Address

City

E-mail

State Zip

Start with Mar June Sept Dec

Mail to Network 877 Spinosa Drive Sunnyvale CA 94087 602