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Published on Wednesdays byTracy Randall Patrick
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Page 4, The Estill County Tribune, October 29, 2014
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Stranger In The Window JuniorandHowardareheadedupthecreeklateonenightinPa’spickup,whensuddenlyanoldmanappearsinthepas-sengerwindowandtapslightly.“Look,there’sanoldghost’sfaceinmywindow!”screamsHoward. Juniorhitsthegaspedalbuttheoldman’sfacestaysinthewindow.Halfscaredtodeath,Howardrollsdownthewindowawaysandsays,“Whatdoyouwantwithus?” Theoldmansoftlyreplies,“Yougotanytobacco?” Theygivehimsome tobaccoand start to calmdownandlaughaboutit.“Idon’tunderstandit,”saysJunior.“Thespeed-ometersaysweweredoing80!” Allofasuddenthereisalighttappingonthewindowandtheoldmanreappears.Howardrollsdownthewindowandtheoldmanquietlyasks,“Doyouhavealight?” Howardthrowsalighteroutthewindowsays,“Steponit!”Thespeedometerstarts to top100milesanhourwhensud-denlytheyhearmoretapping.Rollingthewindowdownagain,Howardscreamsout,“Nowwhat?” “Youwantsomehelpgettingoutofthemud?”
Soiled Sheets AmanwholivesonthethirdflooronMainStreetishavingabadcaseofthe“trots.”Hegetsupandrunstothebathroomseveraltimesbutassoonashegetsbackinthewarmbed,hehastogoagain.Sleepyandtired,hedecideshe’sgoingtoholditthenexttimeandrollsoverandgoesbacktosleep.Whenhedoeswakeup,herealizeshehasmadeaterriblemessinhissheets.Completelylosinghiscomposure,hegathersupthebedsheetsandslingsthemouthiswindowontoMainStreet.AboutthattimeamanfromuponBroadwayiswalkinghomefromapartyafterhavingwaytoomuchtodrink.Thesoiledsheetslandonhimandhestartsyelling,cursingandswinginghisarmsuntilthesheetsfallinatangledpileathisfeet.HetakesoffrunningupBroadwaytowardhomebutisstoppedbythepolice. “What’stheproblem?”asksthepoliceman.“Youlooklikeyou’veseenaghost!” “Idid,”repliestheman.“AndIbeatthecrapoutofhim,too!”
Costume Party AcouplehasplanstoattendamaskedHalloweenPartyandaredressed in their costumesand ready togo.But shegetsaterribleheadacheandurgesherhusbandtogotothepartyalone.Shetakessomeaspirinandafterawhileisfeelingbetteranddecidestojoinhimattheparty.Shequicklyrecognizeshiscostumeashedancesaroundthefloorwithsomeotherwom-en.Shecutsinandafterdancingawhile,hewhispersalittlepropositioninherearandtheyslipofftoabackroomtogether.Justbeforeunmaskingatmidnight,sheslipsawayandgoeshomeandwaitsinbedtoseewhathisreactionwillbe.“Didyouhaveagoodtimedancingtonight?”sheasks. “Nah,”hereplies.“Ineverdancedadance.Meandsomebud-diesslippedofftothebasementandandplayedpokerallnight.But,thatguyIloanedmycostumeto...hesurehadagoodtime.”
Twick or Tweat! OneHalloweenthiswomanopensherdoortofindthemostadorablelittlegirl,withgoldenblondcurlyhairandthebiggestblueeyes.Sheisdressedasanangel,andisjustdelightful.Thewomansays,“Whatareyousupposedtosay,Sweetheart?” The littlegirl looksupat thewomanand says “TwickorTweat!” Thewomanthinksthisisjustadorable,andshecallsherhus-bandtocometothedoor.Thewomansaystothechild,“Goahead,Honey,sayitjustonemoretime.” Once again the little angel looks up and says, “Twick orTweat!” Thehusbandagreeswithhiswife,thislittleangelisjustthecutestthing.Thewomanpicksanapplefromthetreatbowl,shinesitupwithherapron,anddropsitintothelittlegirl’streatbag. Thelittleangellooksinherbagthenlooksupatthewomanandsays,“Youjewk,youjustbwokemyqwookies!”
The Cemetery Shortcut OnedarknightJuniorandHowardarewalkinguptheholleranddecidetotakeashortcutthroughthecemetery.Suddenly,theyarestartledbyatap-tap-tappingnoisecomingfromthemistyshadows.Tremblingwithfear,Howardflickshislighterandtheyfindanoldmanwithahammerandchisel,chippingawayatoneoftheheadstones. “Holycow,Mister,”saysJunior,aftercatchinghisbreath,“Youscaredushalftodeath.Wethoughtyouwereaghost!Whatareyoudoingworkingheresolateatnight?” “Thefools!”theoldmangrumbles.“Theymisspelledmyname!”
Trick or Treat Thedoorbellrings,andamananswersit.Herestandsthisplain,butwell-dressedkid,saying,“TrickorTreat!” Themanasksthekidwhathe’sdresseduplikeforHalloween. Thekidsays,“I’manIRSagent.”Thenhetakes28%oftheman’scandyandleaves.
Letters To The Editor____________________________________________________________________Who makes up Kentucky Family Values? WhomakesupthegroupKentucky Family Values,andwhatdotheyrepresent?I got a call asking me tosupportacertaincandidate.When I asked what valuesthey purport to representandwhoisfundingtheorga-nization,thecallerhungup.
KFV also advertised onthelocalandLexingtonradiostations.Itseemsthatthecan-didatestheyendorseareallofonepoliticalpartyandhavevalues counter to my own. They seem to supportlarger govt., more regu-lations, more spending,
higher taxes, redistributionofwealth(socialism),com-mon core and abortion ondemand. They are anti-tra-ditionalmarriage,antiright-to-work, anti-coal, anti-Constitution(particularlyinreference to guns, religion& states rights) and typi-
callybelieveinthehoaxofman-madeglobalwarming.Theycertainlydonotrepre-sentmyvalues or thoseofmy family. I couldn’t voteforanyoneKentuckyFam-ilyValuesmightendorse.
Sincerely, Charles PeekPhone 723-8423
____________________________________________________________________Try to make the right decision about Merger To the good people of Irvine and Ravenna as you try to make the right decision about a possible merger of the sister cities of Irvine and Ravenna: IwishthatIdidnotfeelthe need to pick up thegauntlet and try in somesmallwaytobringpeacetothetroubledmindsofmanyofthecitizensofIrvineandRavenna.IknowthatalltheIrvine and Ravenna resi-dentsaretryingtomaketheright decision that will bethebestforbothcities. According to The EstillCounty Tribune last week,Ravenna has a debt of$36,252.30.Isthisdebtsoastronomical that Ravennashoulddeclarebankruptcy? AccordingtotheTribunelastweekthecityofIrvinehasadebtofapproximately$500,000.00.Isthisadebtso astronomical that Irvineshoulddeclarebankruptcy? In my humble opinionI think the answer to bothquestionsisabigNO. I would have to believethatthethreatofbankruptcyis a scare tactic that somemight try to use on thosewho are uninformed. Asyou can see by the above
numbers, bankruptcy is nowhere in the foreseeablefuture for either of ourbe-lovedcities. The unknown can be ascarythingbuttobewellin-formedgivesusthestrengthtodotherightthingwithaclear heart and conscience.IrvineandRavennaaresis-tercitiesthathavelivedandlovedandhelpedeachotherevery since theycame intoexistence. They have al-ways worked together andbeen there for each other.Therehasneverbeenatimewhenthesetwosistercitieshave not worked togetheras a family because that iswhatfamiliesdo. The cities of Irvine andRavenna are prime exam-ples of family values. Wecanallbesoproudofhowwehavealwaysworkedandlivedtogether.Inmyheart,Iknowthattherearenoneofuswhowant tobe respon-sibleformakingadecisionthatwewillbesorryforinthefuture. I feel that all the goodpeopleofIrvineandRaven-na only want what is bestforallthepeople.Icannotimpressonyoutoostronglythat ifyouvote todissolve
the city of Ravenna andmakeitapartofIrvine,youcannevergoback.Raven-nawillbegoneforever. Ifyoudecidetovotetoletthetwotownsco-existthenthereisalwaystheoptionofmakingadifferentdecisionin the future. Think aboutyour vote and weigh youroptions. Have you ever made arashdecisionandthenwishthatyouhadwaiteduntilalaterdateoruntilyouknewa little more about it? Weareallthevictimsofacrashcoursein“merger.” Therearesomanyques-tions that need to be an-sweredbeforewedestroyacitythathasco-existedasasistercityforalmostahun-
dred years. Haste makeswaste and in this case itcould spell disaster for mycity and your sister city,Ravenna. Thisisnotadecisionthatcanbetakenlightly.Ionlyhope that you will thinkabout it and pray about itbefore you go to the pollsonNovember4th. HopefullyIhavebeenofsomehelpbygivingheart-feltthoughtsthatcouldpos-siblysaveusallfromgriefinthefuture.Thedecisionis yours and yours alone,doesRavennaliveordie? God Bless each and ev-eryoneofyou,Today,To-morrowandForever.
Sincerely,Beverly Thompson
When Larry Stewartasked me to vote for himforEstillCountyJailerIhadaquestion forhim:didhisplansfor inmatesincludeaPrison Ministry? He said,“Yes,it’salreadyinthemak-ing.”Luke4:18-19 teachesusthisistherightthingtodo.Myanswerwasayesalso. Also, an Estill Countynative is running for Dis-trict 3 Magistrate in Madi-
son County. Mike Chaneywasour1972SeniorClassPresident. We were thefirst graduates of the EstillCounty-IrvineHighmerger,and Mike led us throughthattransitionbecauseofhisconcern for all classmates.Ifyouknowanyoneisthatdistrict please ask them tovoteforMike.
Thank you,Valerie Flinchum
________________________________Do plans for Estill inmatesinclude a prison ministry?
W.J.Noland,acandidatefor mayor, is a true nativeofIrvineandEstillCounty.He’s been a resident frombirthtopresent.Heandhiswifehaveraisedtheirfam-ilyhere.HehasagreatloveforIrvineandit’speople. Good people do goodthings, sometimes greatthings. He knows how towork.Heknowshowgov-ernmentworksandhowtoworkwithpeople.Hewillwork well with all depart-
mentsincitygovernment. He is a good man andwillbegoodforIrvine.Heis the rightman formayorofIrvine,andallitspeople. BesuretovoteNov4andelectWJtobeyourmayor,and thenworkwithhimtomakeIrvineanicewellkeptcityofgoodpeople.
Thanks,Bob and Doris McCray448 Southpoint DrLexington, KY 40515
________________________________WJ Noland is a true native of Irvine and Estill County
