A Guide to Stress Management
By Inge Dowden
10 Herald Close l Bristol BS9 1DF [email protected]
l 0117 3704204 l 07865 399013 l www.ingedowdencoaching.com
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12 things you can do
to increase your stress levels
followed by
8 things you can do
to reduce your stress levels
Stress is all around us and everybody has heard of it. Most people agree that it’s
bad for you, but some people say that they thrive under stress. What they’re
talking about though is pressure, not stress. A certain amount of pressure can
motivate us and make us perform better, but when it’s going on for too long, or
the amount of pressure is excessive, it will have many negative effects.
These effects include physical ones (high blood pressure, insomnia, fatigue,
headaches etc) as well as mental ones (apathy, loss of confidence, loss of sense of
humour etc). And most importantly, it will affect our ability to make decisions,
which has huge ramifications in both our professional and personal life.
Remember, if you’re an employer, reducing the amount of stress your employees
are under is compulsory under the Health & Safety Laws!
Since loss of humour is one of the signs, I thought I would first give you a
humoristic look at how you can increase your stress levels *, followed by some
ways to help you manage them**.
* with thanks to ArcaMax Publishing ** with thanks to Sureteam and Emotional Intelligence at Work
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1. NEVER EXERCISE
Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying (see point 10). It also
releases endorphins which make you feel happy and positive, so you definitely
want to stay away from them!
2. EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT & GAIN WEIGHT
Hey, if cigarettes can’t cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn’t likely to. Work
hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight, as this will also
help with the high blood pressure, the headaches and fatigue.
3. TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS
No need for hard drugs; the old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar and cola will
do the job just fine. Oh and don’t forget the alcohol!
4. GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM
Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that you concern yourself
with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If people persist in
trying to be your friend, avoid them.
5. PERSONALISE ALL CRITICISM
Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is
mounting a personal attack on you. Don't take time to listen, be offended, and
then return the attack!
6. MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO
Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!
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7. BECOME A WORKAHOLIC
Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and
weekends. Keep reminding yourself that holidays are for sissies and if you do take
one, remember to bring your laptop and blackberry and ensure that you can be
contacted at any time.
8. DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS
Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then
worry about it all whenever you get a chance (see point 10).
9. PROCRASTINATE
Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvellous amount of
stress.
10. WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL
Worry about the stock market, banker’s bonuses, earthquakes and the
approaching Ice Age; you know: all the big issues.
11. BE A PERFECTIONIST
In fact, become not only a perfectionist, but set impossibly high standards......and
either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate
when you don't meet them.
12. THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR
Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one. Don’t
encourage other people either, as laughing is infectious and could spread all
around you, and then where would you be?
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Should you decide that stress is something you want to have as little of as possible,
you can first of all do the opposite of the above, as well as the following 8 things:
1. MANAGE EXPECTATIONS
Expectations are really demands, whether they are your own, or other people’s.
Start by managing your own expectations and then work on others. Learn to say
“no”, and perfectionists: accept that good enough is often good enough
(perfectionism is after all a form of self-importance).
2. PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE
Unless you are a doctor, generally things are NOT life and death. When everything
gets on top of you, take a step back and look at it in the grand scheme of things.
There are things that can wait until tomorrow, you can call your appointment to
tell them you’re going to be late (instead of driving like a maniac) and yes, there
really are children starving in Africa.
3. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES
Fight the important ones, but let the little ones go. Give someone else the
satisfaction of “winning” now and again and your life can be a whole lot easier.
Before you get on your high horse think: “Is this really going to make a big
difference to my life?” and if it is, fight, but if it isn’t, let it go.
4. TRUST PEOPLE
You can’t prove a negative, so until someone has proven to be untrustworthy, it is
a lot less stressful to assume that other people are perfectly capable of doing the
job, are happy to help and have your best interests at heart. Don’t think you’re the
only one who can do something or that everybody is out to get you – most of the
time this is not true anyway.
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5. WORK ON YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Behaviour is driven by emotions and beliefs, which are based on experience. If you
believe that you are not good at presenting (because you messed up a school
presentation when you were 8), this will affect your emotions (you will feel
nervous and lacking of confidence) which in turn will affect your behaviour (the
presentation will probably not go well). If you change your belief, you can change
your emotions and your behaviour. This requires emotional intelligence, which is
something people can work on, preferably with professional help. However, if you
remember that beliefs, emotions and behaviour are connected and that if you
change one, the others will change too, you’re already half-way there.
6. BUILD RELATIONSHIPS
Man is not solitary and we work best when we’re part of a structure of
relationships, whether they are personal or professional. If you make “building
relationships” central to your life, you will find that you will always have help and
support when you most need it. So when you’re presented with a dilemma, always
think “which relationship is served by doing this and which relationship will be
damaged by this?” When you have prioritised your relationships, it will help you
make a decision more easily.
7. TWO IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
Ask yourself regularly “How do I feel?” and “What do I need?” These two simple
questions, when answered honestly, will make a big difference. Once you know
what you need, try and get it (at least you’ll know what to ask for).
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8. REMEMBER THE TRIPLE ‘A’
Accept what you can’t change
Alter what you can alter
Adapt to the situation
When you’re in a situation that is stressful, always ask yourself three questions:
1. Can I change this?
If the answer is YES, then go and change it.
If the answer is NO, then you ask yourself:
2. Can I accept this?
If the answer is YES, then stop complaining, adapt and get on with it (this is easier
when you focus on the positives of the situation)
If the answer is NO, then ask yourself:
3. Can I get away from this?
If the answer is YES, then get away from it
If the answer is NO, focus on the importance of why you can’t get away from it
(because we ALWAYS have a choice).
Now you have 20 ways to manage your stress levels. You will find some more
useful than others, so just pick the things that resonate most with you.
If you find yourself with unacceptable stress levels, please consider suitable
professional help. This could be counselling, health & safety training or coaching,
depending on your needs. Just remember there is plenty of help out there, all you
need to do is ask!
“If you’ve spent all your money, you can always go out and earn some more. If you’ve spent all your time, it’s gone forever.” Make sure you spend your time enjoying yourself!
A little bit about me: I’m Inge Dowden and I’m the Business Growth and Happiness Coach, helping people be happy and successful at work. I offer both business coaching and career coaching, and I specialise in leadership and employee engagement. I believe that when you are happy, you are more motivated, creative and action orientated, which in turn will make you more successful. My typical clients are owners and employees of small businesses who want to grow their business locally, nationally or even internationally and who realise that they need to be at their very best to achieve this. I use the DISC personality profiling system to help people understand themselves and others better, to improve communication and to avoid conflicts in the workplace. I’m also the author of “The Happy Worker: how to find a job you love and love the job you have”, which is available to buy from Amazon or through the website www.thehappyworker.co.uk.
Inge Dowden
“Because you deserve nothing less than happiness and success”
10 Herald Close l Bristol BS9 1DF [email protected]
l 0117 3704204 l 07865 399013 l www.ingedowdencoaching.com