Being Precise
How upset [Max Planck] was whenever he inadvertently gave out the wrong information, whether in scientific publication or casual conversation, since despite all efforts at retraction, he knew that at least some untruth would always persist.
Lise Meitner
Concise
Familiar
Clear
Fluid
Precise
Forthright
Precision means choosing the right words and appropriate level of detail
detaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetail
choosing the right word
choosing appropriatelevel of detail
wordwordword
right wordright wordwordwordwordwordwordwordword
Provide Specific Detail
BAD:
“Put enough air in your tires.”
(How much air is “enough”?)
GOOD:
“Fill your tires to 32 pounds per square inch.”
Specific detail
Vague word
Choose words carefully because many scientific terms have specific meanings
The last decade has seen a rapid developmentof new techniques for studying the enormouslycomplex phenomena associated with the develop-ment of sparks and other gas discharges.
The last decade has seen a rapid developmentof new techniques for studying the enormouslycomplex phenomena associated with the develop-ment of sparks and other gas discharges.
spark: the transient irreversible event from one steady state of the electrical breakdown process to another.
gas discharge: any of the three steady states of the electrical breakdown process.
Voltage
Current
spark
discharge
Another consideration in choosing the correct word is the connotation
Denotation
dictionarymeaning
adequate:sufficient; enoughfor what is required
Connotation
suggested meaning
adequate:sufficient
adequate:insufficient
Words have both denotations andconnotations
inexpensive
unusual
simple
clear
cost-effective
novel
streamlined
cheap
strange
simplistic
Negative Neutral Positive
obvious
Precision means choosing the right words and appropriate level of detail
detaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetail
choosing the right word
choosing appropriatelevel of detail
wordwordword
right wordright wordwordwordwordwordwordwordword
R.I.P.
Complex wording also buries ideas
This study will consider why current solar energysystems, such as Solar One, have not reached thecommercial stage and will explore the steps we can take to make these systems commercial.
The goal of this study is to develop a commerciali-zation strategy for solar energy systems by analyzingfactors impeding early commercial projects (i.e., SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential actionsthat can facilitate the viability of the projects.
Stacking adjectives before nouns swallows the ideas
Solar One is a solar-powered pilot plant located near Barstow, California. Solar One produces 10 megawatts of electricity by capturing solar energy in a central receiver design.
Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar thermal electric central receiver Barstow power pilot plant.
Complex sentences misdirect readers
The goal of the work was to confirm the nature of electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields at high pressures and electrode gaps which approach those obtained in engineering practice, prior to the deter-mination of the processes which set the criterion for breakdown in the above-mentioned gas in uniform and non-uniform fields of engineering significance.
At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gapdistances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied inuniform fields.
The more muddled the original, the more revisions are needed to streamline it
At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gapdistances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied inuniform fields.
In our study, we examined the electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields. For these experiments, the electrode gap distances were typical (1 mm), while the pressures were relatively high (760 torr).
The "Big Bang" is the most credible theory for the creation of the universe. Nevertheless, it explains the creation of only helium and hydrogen. What about the other elements? Many scientists believe that those elements came from nuclear reactions in the life and death cycles of stars.
Archaic structures sound unnatural
In that the "Big Bang," currently the most credible theory for how the universe was created, explains only hydrogen and helium, we are left to theorize as to how all the other elements came into being. Having studied the nuclear reactions that constitute the life and death cycles of stars, many scientists believe that there lies the key.
Generalities that are not anchored with specifics are soon forgotten
After recognizing some problems with the solar mirrors, we took subsequent corrective measures.
Trash
After finding that high winds (and not hail) had cracked the ten solar mirrors, we began stowing all mirrors in a horizontal position during thunderstorms.
For precise language, you should avoid over-specifying details
The number of particular hydrocarbon combinations in our study is enormous. For example, the number of possible C20H42 is 366,319 and the number for C40H82 is 62,491,178,805,831.
The number of hydrocarbon combinations in our study is enormous. For example, the number of possible C40H82 is more than 62 trillion.
Eliminate Unnecessary Expressions
Instead of this
We are of the opinion that
Please feel free to
In addition to the above
At this point in time
Despite the fact that
Try this
We think
Please
Also
Now
Although
Limit Long Lead-ins
Instead of this
This memo is to inform you that all employees meet today.
I am writing this letter to say thanks to everyone who voted.
Try this
All employees meet today.
Thanks to everyone who voted.
Drop Unnecessary Fillers Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there is/was and it is/was when used merely to take up space.
Instead of this
There was only one employee who should be promoted.
It was Lisa and Jeff who were honored.
Try this
Only one employee should be promoted.
Lisa and Jeff were honored.
Remove Redundant Words
Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What words could be omitted in these expressions?
advance warningclose proximityexactly identicalfilled to capacityfinal outcomenecessary requisitenew beginningpast historyrefer backserious danger
Omit Trite Expressions
Trite and Outdated
as per your request
pursuant to your request
attached hereto
under separate cover
Modern
at your request
at your request
attached
separately
Avoid Slang and Clichés Avoid informal expressions that have changed meanings.
Avoid clichés. Substitute more precise words.
Try this
We could go no further.
Instead of this
We had reached the end of our rope.
For precision, you must choose theappropriate level of detail
Operations at the plant stopped momentarilybecause the thermal storage charging systemdesuperheater attemperator valve was replaced.
Operations at the plant stopped for 1.5 hoursso that a valve in the thermal storage systemcould be replaced.
Choose the right word….
affect or effect
affect = verb: means to influenceeffect = noun: means a result.
comprise or compose
comprise = to include; to consist ofThe whole comprised the parts.NOT: The whole is comprised of the parts.
compose = to make by combining things
Choose the right word….
continuous or continual
continual = repeatedly; frequently recurring
continuous = without interruption
fewer or less
fewer: for items that can be countede.g., fewer errors, fewer fish, fewer cells
less: for items that cannot be counted.e.g., less air, less water, less
Choose the right word….
compliment or complement
compliment = an expression of praise
complement = something that completes; one of two things that go together
farther or further
farther: location
further: time, intensity, depth of meaning
Choose the right word….
that or which
that: Use “that” for defining clauses
We will select the option that has the highest thermal efficiency.
The clause “that has the highest thermal efficiency” defines the choice.
which: use “which” for non-defining clauses
We will select option A, which has the highest thermal efficiency.
Which clauses are separated by a comma.