Bringing the Best Out of People
Presented by:Dr. Adrienne Pasek
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Outline of the day• Navigating emotions• Perceptions, feelings, absolutes• Communication • Ten Commandments for resolving conflict • Neutrality • Techniques for disagreeing without taking a
position• Negotiating• Finding common ground
Navigating Emotions• Perceptions
• Feelings
• Absolutes
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ABSOLUTESThings will happen that you cannot control
You cannot change that which is out of your control
The only change you can make is within yourself and
Things will happen that you cannot control
PerceptionsReality is just a perception
Perception is a combination of beliefs, values, experiences
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SCHEMASUnderlying cognitive
structures and rules that consist of core beliefs and that determine how we codify, categorize, interpret experiences
Develop early in life
Beck, (1967, 1984)
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DYSFUNCTIONAL SCHEMAS
impair reality and the ability to think reasonably
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Six Universal Feelings
Anger
Disgust
Fear
Happiness
Sadness
Surprise
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CommunicationSpeaking
Conveys meaning
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ListeningInterpretation of what was heard
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Communication Research• 7% of meaning is derived from the spoken
word
• 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way the words are spoken)
• 55% of meaning is derived from facial expression
Rules of Engagement
What is the purpose of the message?
(Why do I need to know this?)
informational, educational, personal
What do you need me to feel?
(universal feelings)
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More Rules of Engagement• Behavior is an outward
expression of feelings/thoughts/perceptions
Neutrality• Techniques
• Tactics
• Strategies
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Negotiation Finding Common
Ground
Sandbox 101