Communication & ConfidenceReal Futures Program
With Heidi Alexandra Pollard& Tina Moore
UQ POWER
Our world is speeding up
• Hyper-connectivity leading to increased screen time
• Accelerating pace of change leading to overwhelm
• Tailored convenience means we want it all and we want it now
Shift happens.
Despite all this change one constant has remained the same – the ability to influence, engage, inspire, relate and build rapport.
The ability to communicate
The One Constant
At the end of the day we have two choices.
Every action, thought and feeling is motivated by an intention and with every intention comes a reaction. What goes out ALWAYS comes back.
FEAR LOVE
Two Choices
Spotlight on USpotlight on UWhat’s your biggest What’s your biggest
communication challenge?communication challenge?When do you feel less When do you feel less
confident?confident?
Spotlight on USpotlight on UWhat skills would you like What skills would you like
to learn?to learn?How do you desire to be How do you desire to be
and feel?and feel?
EXPLORING YOUR SIGNATURE COMMUNICATION STRENGTHS
Understanding your individual communication style strengths and the effect it may have on others.
• No right or wrong scores, no style is better than another.
• One high score (4 pts or more) strong preference
• Two high scores (within 2 pts) may lead with
preferred style and can draw from others
• Three close scores will lead with a preferred
style, may have developed from experience
• Equal scores in all four styles highly
adaptable, may appear inconsistent to others
PSCI Scoring
THE DIRECTING STYLE
Liabilities• Impatient with those
working too slowly• Lone ranger• Can be judgmental• Tendency to dominate
others• Difficulty trusting others
with work• Need to be in control
causes frustrations
Strengths• Fast paced, quick
thinkers• Focus on action
and results• Decisive• Takes responsibility• Natural leaders• Visionary, big picture
Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.
THE PRESENTING STYLE
Liabilities• May not always be
taken seriously• Poor operational
follow through• Easily bored• May overpromise
and underdeliver• Would rather talk
than listen• Does not manage
time well
Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.
Strengths• Knows how to have fun
• Always up, energetic
• Communicates easily
• Motivates others
• Lots and lots of ideas
• Enjoys/prefers new projects
THE MEDIATING STYLE
Liabilities• Likes privacy, may be
difficult to get to know• Focuses on people issues
over business progress• Reluctant to correct
difficult people problems• Doesn’t like risk taking• Doesn’t care for surprises• May avoid centre stage
Strengths• Subtle, gentle, indirect
and inclusive• Good listener• Expert• Loved by everyone• Champion of others• Encourages others
through appreciation
Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.
Strengths• Likes people, not
large groups• Confident if facts
are known• Likes to give advice• Very thorough• Fair and unbiased• Enjoys structure
Liabilities• Difficult to stop pursuing
perfectness• Fear of mistakes creates
time consuming tasks• Tends to be critical• Worries a lot• Slow to embrace new
THE STRATEGIZING STYLE
Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.
Appreciating your style and others
1. The top three positive characteristics of our style are:
2. The three strengths we admire most in people with the opposite style are:
3. The strength of ours that drives others crazy is:
4. We feel most like ourselves comfortable and confident when:
5. We feel least like our style, out of our comfort zone when:
6. Our preference for handling conflict is:
7. Draw a poster to promote your style.
Understanding Energy
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Are You “Batteries Not Included”
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AKA a “Drainer” of energy?
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Are you “Batteries Included”?
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AKA a “Giver” of Energy?
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Feel this moment!
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Feel this moment!
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Getting in state – breathing, posture, voice.
Bio Break
Your personal presence
The best thing you can do to overcome any challenges is to #startwithU and to access and express your authentic powerful self.
This will allow you to be more confident even when you don’t know what the outcome will be.
Of course you can’t confuse arrogance with confidence.
“Arrogance and confidence get conflated but they are not the same things. Arrogance is a wall we put up when we feel threatened.”
“Arrogance is a smoke screen for insecurity. Arrogance is not appealing. It does not serve you.”
Confidence not arrogance
Being confident means being comfortable in yourself and that you don’t put up a smokescreen and you can be open to criticism. It’s when your words and body language match.
“Confidence is not a weapon, it’s a tool.
When you are confident you can be present without arrogance.”
Confidence not arrogance
Developing PresenceWe all know someone with presence when we see it. It’s that feeling you get when someone walks in poised and polished, with the presence of a leader. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi about how they carry themselves, which of course, seems effortless.
We all want it, but how do we get it?
Basically executive presence is comprised of three things:1.Communication: how you talk 2.Gravitas: how you act 3.Perceived identity: how you look
Communication
In recent weeks, there’s been a burst of media attention about women’s words, in particular the “sorrys,” “justs” and other undermining phrases that often show up in what women write and say. It’s a case of foot in mouth daily.
Instead you can communicate clearly and be more lieable by making personal connections, expressing appreciation for others – and showing a strong interest in their points of view.
Gravitas – Confidence Under Pressure
Many of our clients are great leaders, but when presenting in meetings with more senior or powerful people they freeze with anxiety. Their executive presence crashes and burns.
We work with them to then proactively implement a plan before they experience visible signs of stress.
A way to cope with the emotions as they came up in a way that doesn’t put them at a professional disadvantage.
Perceived Identity
Other clients we’ve worked with have impressive credentials, and experience but when they present at conferences, they’re not seen as an expert.
Why? Because they don’t look like one. Often it is that they need to review their look. It may be they need to look more polished, upbeat or sophisticated.
As research from Harvard Medical School proves, “People assess your competence and trustworthiness in a quarter of a second based solely on how you look.”
It’s not fair, but if you want to move forward in your career, you want to look the part so your ideas are the focal point, not your wardrobe. Sometimes you need to dress for the job you want.
Complimenting and Appreciating
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3 compliments eg: physical, personality, attributes, achievements, abilities
Your Unique Power
Then nobody can touch you.
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You do not need external power.
You will feel your unique power when your personality and your soul are in alignment.
The best version of yourself is to line up the little you or
your personality with the big U of your unique power.
Your Unique Power
#StartWithU
Your power is using the energy of your personality to serve your unique power.
When you are depressed, anxious, sad, frightened or uncomfortable that’s when you most need to call on your unique power.
That’s when you need to choose LOVE, the Universal human power.
Your Unique Power
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What are your unique gifts? What are you good at?
Undertake the best of me exercise.
Our Differences
Some of the factors for our differences are..
Experiences Your Perception of Life
Beliefs Creativity
Genetics Body
Relationships Hobbies
Intelligence Emotional Intelligence
Senses Personality
Communication Habits Humour
Goals Intuition
Willingness to be yourself Consciousness
Moral Judgments Curiosity
I’m Alive!
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LUNCH!
What kind of leader do you want to be?
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The most powerful way to engage with and relate to others is to listen first and ask second.
Too many people spend too much time on what they want to TELL others rather than taking the time to stop, LISTEN and ASK.
Leaders Listen First
Extreme Listening Challenge
Stand in 2 circles one inside the other
•My life story…
•Ask 1 question then listen
A GAME OF FOCUS
Stand in 2 circles one inside the other
•My life story…
•A passion I have outside of school is…
•Ask 1 question then listen
A GAME OF FOCUS
Stand in 2 circles one inside the other
•My life story…
•A passion I have outside of study/work is…
•My favourite book / movie at the moment is…
•Ask 1 question then listen
A GAME OF FOCUS
- 7% of meaning is in the words that are spoken
-38% of meaning is paralinguistic – the way we say it
-55% of meaning is in body language & expression
WHY YOU MUST BECOME FLUENT IN A SECOND LANGUAGE
WITHOUT BODY POWER WITH BODY POWER
Lack of self esteem & confidence Feel confident even in challenging situations
Neglect own needs More assertive with needs
No ‘me time’ Say no when you need to
Out of touch with tangible feelings Radiate more energy
When you use your Unique Body Power you are
energetic and magnetic.
Body over mind power
You have to #startwithU by believing in U and your message. If you don’t believe, no one else will because your body will tell them so - every one can spot a phoney!
THE BODY NEVER LIES
The most powerful communication tool at your disposal is not your mouth, it’s your entire body.
What you wear. How you stand. How you walk. How you talk. It all matters!
Become fluent in body language as your second language and watch your results soar.
Use Your Whole Body
Understanding your body language and other physical queues is very important when you are communicating with others.
Your non-verbal communication skills are just as important as your verbal skills.
The most important thing to ensure is congruence – that your messages match your body, your dress, your energy.
Powerful Body Language
Strike a Pose!
Introduce yourself to someone:
Like it’s a waste of your time
Test It In Your Body
Introduce yourself to someone:
Like you really really want to impress them but are a phoney.
Change Your Body
Introduce yourself to someone:
Like they are your long lost best friend
Lead With Love
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“It’s important we get this right.
Things must change around here.”
Powerful Body Language
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The body mind connection – shoot ‘em up, OK
Position 1 Position 2
The Power of A Collective
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Diversity and inclusion – accepting and appreciating others.
FEAR forms around difference, it divides and separates us.
LOVE brings us together as brothers and sisters, we are all one human race.
The Power of a Circle of Women
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Rock this party!
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OUTCOMES and ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS