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Written by:
Jaclyn DArcy
Illustrated by:
Sumi Tatsui
Clueless Teens
Guide To Dating
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Published by Merit Educational Consultants, LLC
Copyright ** Merit Educational Consultants, LLC
DArcy, Jaclyn, 2006
ISBN:
Printed in the United States of America
Except in the United States of America, this book is sold
subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade
or otherwise, be lent, copied, re-sold, hired out, orotherwise circulated without the publishers prior
consent in any form of binding or cover other than that
in which it is published and without a similar condition
including this condition being imposed on the
subsequent publisher.
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Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Introduction ......................................... 5
Chapter 2: Initial Sparks ....................................... 11
Chapter 3: Going Out and Commitment................ 39
Chapter 4: About Sex ......................................... 71
Chapter 5: Contraception .................................... 83
Chapter 6: STDs ................................................. 93
Chapter 7: Conclusion ........................................ 99
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IntroductionIm sure you have been here before: you re at a party,
and you see a really cute guy sitting on the couch. Youwant to go talk to him, but you dont know how.
Youre anxious and excited about meeting him, so you
decide to go with your friend to talk to him and his
friends. Youre enthralled at the chance to meet him.
Act on your feelings; if you dont, youll regret it later.
You may not get any second chances.
You may be thinking about what to say--after all, you
want to come up with the perfect opening. Typically,
girls say Hey, whats up? Hows agoin? These are
common and casual greetings that can break the ice.
Usually, if the guy is at all interested, hell answer andask you questions to keep the conversation going. Its
important to not read into his response because, unlike
you, he hasnt had time to think of questions and decide
what to say. Guys arent always sure of what to do
when theyre being approached. Theyll most likely feel
even more awkward and nervous than you will.
How do you know if this is going well? What does his
response mean? The answer to these questions and
many more are in this book. Clueless Teens Guide to
Datingis a guide for teens about how to best handle
awkward relationship situations. By reading this book,
you can use these tips to improve your relationships
with your friends and significant others.
The target audience for this book includes teenagers
from ages thirteen to eighteen. The information is
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Side Bar: Teenage dating is
misunderstood by the general public
because of the medias depiction of a
dangerous alcohol and drug-filled world
packed with threats from car wrecks tointernet predators (...because of the mediasdepiction of a dangerous world filled with drugs
and alcohol, and packed with threats from
everything from car wrecks to internet predators).
I want to demonstrate to both parents and
teens the reality of the events that occur in
modern dating scenes. Teenage lifestyles
are often described negatively and are notdepicted accurately. The stories of teenage
dating, drugs, violence, and random sex do
not apply to most teens. Even teens get most
of their information from the popular media.
Media depictions that include controversial
behaviors are not as frightening to teens who
live in this world as they might be to theoutside. To find out what really goes on in
the world of teens, keep reading. Parents
may be restricting their kids more than
necessary.
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specifically written for girls; however, it may prove to be
interesting to boys as well.
One of the keys to dating is knowing what you dontwant. Everyone knows what they do want: handsome,
generous, smart, sensitive, good sense of humor,
attentive, gentlemanly, respectful, etc
Although everyone wants those qualities in their guy, its
really more important to know what you dont want.
Being a teenager, youre going to be experimental.
Knowing what you dont like in a guy will help you
narrow down the type of guy you will get along with best.
Personally, there are several things that I cant stand
about guys (other girls might not find these so
offensive). For example, I dont like it when a guy makes
disparaging comments about girls hes hooked up with
before. Or guys who think its cool to get poor grades inschool, get high before classes, and to get drunk on a
weekday because theyre bored. One thing that I had a
hard time dealing with was when my ex told me that he
hunted animals for sport. Other girls might not be
bothered by it, but I dont like my friends hurting
animals. Knowing what you dont like helps you
understand yourself, as well as what kind of guy youwant to date.
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Sidebar: Make a list of things you dont like in a guy.1. Arrogant personality
2. Nipple and tongue piercing
3. Guys who flirt with everyone
4. Guys with hickeys
Sidebar: Hanging out versus Hooking up.
Hanging out is an activity that people do together when
they are just friends. Hooking up adds a one night
stand context and has a very negative connotation. It
doesnt always mean having sex. In fact, it rarely
means having intercourse. When people hook up it
usually involves making out with a lot of physical contact.
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Be honest; you dont have to have a rational reason for
your sensitivity. Evaluate the list to better understand
yourself as a person. In many cases, you may want a
guy who is just like you; in other cases you will notbutby clarifying what you dont want, you will figure out
what you do want.
This book is divided into four chapters that will
chronologically cover advice spanning from the initial
sparks to the end of the relationship. There is also
information about contraception, pregnancy, STDs, and
birth control.
I will discuss typical scenarios that you and your friends
may have already encountered and some you may have
not. Fictional stories are also added to illustrate the
reasoning for my tips.
The information in this book is useful and practical. Thestatistics on teenage problems were gathered from
surveys taken by teenagers across the United States.
With both the surveys and my own personal experience,
I try to create helpful and informative advice to guide
teenagers through a challenging and exciting time in
their lives.
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Initial Sparks
2. Initial SparksAlright, youve seen him, now what do you do?
-How do you let him know that you like him?Sometimes you might not know how to approach the boy
youre interested in. You may want to wait for your
crush to come to you so that you do not have to go out
of your normal comfort zone.
You want to impress him and make a good impression
on him, but you dont know how. This can make a
conversation that you would normally have with a boy
awkward and difficult especially if you are meeting him
for the first time. Even if you have known him for
several years, you may not know how to handle
becoming attracted to him in a new way. If you feelanxious, stressed, and/or nervous, dont fret, youre not
alone.
Sometimes, a boy will not approach you because he
might think that if you were interested in him, you would
have already approached him. Also, boys can simply
be oblivious to your desires even if they share yourfeelings.
The best way to get his attention is to approach him with
a smile and talk to him about things that you have in
common. If youre already friends, then youll need to
send him some kind of message that youre interested in
being more than friends.
Flirt and smile, but make him come to you; let him make
the first move. Be subtle, dont throw yourself on him
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because hell most likely not respond well to your
actions. By aggressively pursuing a guy, you may
succeed in hooking up with him. However, that does not
ensure his respect or a long-term relationship. Its bestto not hook up too soon. The chase is fun for both
people, so enjoy the sparks of the new relationship.
Waiting for someone usually makes you want him even
more, and, in the end, itll make having him all the more
worthwhile.
So, girls, dont trip over yourself trying to get some
guys attention. Usually the more reserved and classy
girls stand out and are more attractive to guys than the
loud and obnoxious girls who are all over them.
Its important to realize that girls often have an
advantage over boys in the initial meetings. Were more
social and have an ability to make both casual
conversation as well as physical communication. Girlstend to be more skilled when it comes to perceiving
natural moments, such as the right time to touch him (be
physically close). After all, girls are friendly and
emotional with their girlfriends. These are natural skills
that most girls acquire through time. If hes interested in
you, he can take your signals as an interest in him. If
hes not interested in you, he can easily ignore themwithout actually rejecting you.
Girls are good at body language. You can start making
eye contact and making more light physical contact with
him by tickling or nudging him. If youre only
acquaintances, or have never met him, look for a
connection between the two of you that can open thedoor to more dialogue.
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Do you have mutual friends? Do your friends know any
of his friends? Do you have any of the same classes as
him? If so, then take the chance to talk to him in a
group setting. This will make it easier to talk to him one-on-one in the future.
Once this friendship is established, you can take it to
another level. The next level is finding a way to get in
contact with him again after this initial talk or meeting.
One way of indicating that the relationship is going
somewhere is to get his phone number, screen name,
email, and/or MySpace name. Personalized web
spaces like MySpace are ideal because you can look up
other people and send messages to them. Because it
might be too forward to call him directly, sending him a
quick message is a harmless way to communicate with
him. It serves as both a protective barrier and a buffer
that helps take the edge off the initial meetings. Its thestep before contacting him through other friends or
calling him on the phone.
Be wary when socializing on the internet. One in four
teens have been sexually solicited online.
If you know that a guy likes you, and you feel the same
way, talk to him online, on the phone, at school, orwherever you see him. Flirt with him and make eye
contact with him when talking. If he doesnt ask you to
hang out with him, then you might have to take the
initiative to ask him to hang out with you. On weekends,
invite him to join you and your friends at a movie or fun
activity. Or you can invite him to a big social gathering;
a party or a bonfire would be an easy way to spend time