To recap: This is my attempt at a Polyamory Project Challenge, created by princedeej28,
full rules available here. The point of the challenge is to romance more than one Sim and
earn enough points to make Hugh Hefner jealous.
Last time, there were various assorted low-level romantic interactions (plus points), a
slapfest (minus points), and two weddings and a birth. (No points whatsoever.) My
current total is 145.
All caught up? Good! Let’s get started. When we last left off, Bertie and Corey were
having serious difficulties.
Corey is not dealing with this very well.
COREY: Spy on me, will you? Well, I’ve had about enough of this lack of respect, and I
won’t put up with it anymore, do you hear me, you stupid old broad?
He should really pick the targets for his frustration a bit better.
JASMINE SCOTT, CRIMINAL MASTERMIND: Excuse me? All I have to do is say the
word, and your body will never be found, young man. You’ll be the next Jimmy Hoffa or
Amelia Earhart. (darkly) You don’t want to know what really happened to her, trust me.
Although Corey might be furious at them, there are still people who care about him and
don’t want to see him disappear.
Oh, you know what I mean.
That’s why the name of the game is Apologize To Corey Early And Often.
Emphasis on “Often.”
VANESSA: Corey, I’m really, really sorry –
COREY: Yeah, okay, Vanessa. I get it. Thank you for your apology. Again. Can I pee
now?
VANESSA: Oh. Sorry.
Vanessa is focused on regaining her friendship with Corey to the exclusion of much else.
Seriously. She taught Little Bertie to talk, because I forced her to, but most of her
autonomous interactions are either Put In Crib (which any adult within a two-mile radius
of a tired toddler will do) or a pre-programmed response to Little Bertie’s autonomous
Ask… interactions.
Bertie spends just as much time playing Apologize to Corey.
BERTIE: Cowey, I compwetewy see youw point. It’s just not faiw to tweat my lovews
diffewentwy.
COREY: Well, it depends on who’s getting the better deal…
BERTIE: No, no, it’s not faiw at aww. I need to be even-handed with evewyone.
COREY: You could be biased in my favor, you know. I am your husband.
BERTIE: No, no – that’s a swippery swope. If I’m biased towawds my husband, then
what about the mothew of my chiwd? What about –
VANESSA (grumpily): Are you guys going to keep this up all night? Some of us have to
work in the morning, you know.
COREY and BERTIE (together): Good night, Vanessa.
Bertie seems pretty committed to treating all his partners equally, though. The anti-
gravity device on that car won’t last much longer if this keeps up.
And unlike some people I could mention, Bertie spends lots of time with his son.
BERTIE: Hey thewe, big guy! Awe you paying attention? Huh? Because I think I see the
tickwe monstew coming!
ALBERT: (shrieks of delighted laughter)
And now it’s time for some Little Bertie picspam! Music, maestro…
My lord the Marquis of Carabas
My lord the Marquis of Sauerkraut
My lord the Marquis of Nowhere-At-All
(Mmm-hmm)
My lord the Marquis has rabbits plump
My lord the Marquis has a castle fine
My lord the Marquis has the sense to learn
My lord the Marquis is mine
Who raised him up
And guided him to you?
Who made him fine
And taught him all I knew?
Oh…
A word of thanks is all I ask
I love my Marquis with a love so rare
That’s why I found him you
My lord the Marquis of Carabas
My lord the Marquis of Sauerkraut
My lord the Marquis of Nowhere-At-All
(Mmm-hmm)
COREY (softly): There, see, Albert? See those three stars in a row, right there?
ALBERT (sleepily): Free starz.
COREY (softly): That’s right. Those three stars in a row, those are Orion’s belt. And
there’s his left shoulder, and that’s his right shoulder, and that’s the tip of his sword, and
that star there is his left knee. See? Orion is right outside the window.
ALBERT (barely audible): ‘wion… (yawns, snuggles into Corey’s shoulder, and starts
to snore gently)
COREY (to himself, really): Your daddy taught me to recognize Orion when we were in
college. We lay on the grass and looked at the stars, and he put his arm around me and
pointed out Orion’s belt – Esme, I miss him.
COREY: Bertie, I – I’m still mad at you, okay? Really mad. I just want to be clear about
that.
BERTIE: Okay…
COREY: But I miss you, too. I miss you something awful. I want to try again. If you’ll
let me.
BERTIE: Of couwse! But… awe you suwe?
COREY: I do miss you. I do want to try again. But – I want to be the one who sets the
pace this time.
And I guess it’s true that a rising tide lifts all boats.
In the middle of all the dramaz, Little Bertie Grew Up Well, for a cool 20 points.
That got him a hug from his mother.
At my prodding, unfortunately. And only after autonomously canceling it out of her
queue a few times. Vanessa’s lucky Bertie likes her, because I sure don’t.
COREY: You did good with Albie, hon. He’s growing up so well.
BERTIE: Me? I think it was you. You’we the one who spends aww that time with him. I
think he thinks you’we his daddy.
COREY: You spend time with him too. And he knows you’re his real daddy.
BERTIE: Cowey…
COREY: Just a little more time, okay? I’m sorry – it must be… difficult… for you…
BERTIE (V.O.): Oh… Don’t wowwy about me. Weawwy.
COREY (V.O.): Really?
BERTIE (V.O.): Weawwy. Take aww the time you need.
I’d feel bad about using Robert if he wasn’t so enthusiastic about being used. I really
need to find out what his aspiration is.
And eventually…
COREY: Bertie, I think I’m ready to try starting again.
BERTIE: You awe?
COREY: Yes, I am. You’re still the man I fell in love with, and you just get more
attractive everyday.
BERTIE (coquettishly): Oh, stop it! I’m getting old is what I’m getting.
COREY: I like older men.
COREY: So I’ll have you back if you’ll have me.
BERTIE: Of couwse I’ww have you!
COREY: Oh, I’ve missed you so much, Bertie!
BERTIE: But we wiv in the same house.
COREY: Not missed you like that – I’ve missed you missed you. And in fact…
COREY: How long do you think it would take us to warm up the car?
BERTIE: With owe without the keys?
ALBERT (coming into the room unexpectedly): Why do you need to warm up the car?
Are you going for a drive? Where are you going? Can I come? I want to go for a drive
too!
(Bertie and Corey look at each other and sigh resignedly)
COREY: Sure, monkeybutt. Where do you want to go?
And here is where I will leave you, with this pleasant picture of Little Bertie being a
refined and polite little boy.
This chapter’s song was “The Marquis,” by Prince of Charming. I spent all of ten minutes
on it, and it no doubt shows. However, if you make any money off it, just remember that I
get 50% of the gross.
Until next time, Happy Simming!
Score for this round
Woohoo x 2: 60
Kissing x 5: 20
Assorted romantic interactions x 8: 40
Offspring Grew Up Well: 20
TOTAL: 140
Score as of last round: 145
GRAND TOTAL: 285
I have now beaten the official high score of 200 points. Let’s see just how much I can
beat it by, shall we?
Relationship standings (Daily/Lifetime)
Albert > Bertie: 98/100. Best friends.
Albert > Corey: 98/85. Best friends.
Albert > Robert: 0/0
Albert > Vanessa: 66/65. Best friends.
Bertie > Albert: 98/98. Best friends.
Bertie > Corey: 98/98. Married, best friends.
Bertie > Robert: 100/100. Love.
Bertie > Vanessa: 98/98. Love.
Corey > Albert: 90/43. Friends.
Corey > Bertie: 100/75. Married, best friends. Portrait is 3/8 red.
Corey > Robert: 0/0
Corey > Vanessa: 98/60. Friends.
Vanessa > Albert: 58/58. Best friends.
Vanessa > Bertie: 98/100. Love.
Vanessa > Corey: 96/98. Friends.
Vanessa > Robert: 0/0
