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Summary:
Touwa who was born without his sense of hearing has been living his life
supported by his family, friends and over protective brother, until he met the
good-looking model, Shigeto, who is also studying in his university. Shigeto begins
making effort to communicate with Touwa and soon they both become a source
of encouragement for each other.
Touwa gradually finds himself drawn to the charismatic Shigeto, but becomes
unsure of what to do as he doesn't want to be burden to anyone.
DISC 1
Track 01
// Makino Touwa: In my world, there is no sound. I was born without my sense of
hearing. Although there were times I was in danger, and felt insecure, my family
and friends were always there to support me. That's why I'll keep on trying my
best.
It's okay... it'll be okay. //
*music*
// University life has started for about 3 months now. I came to the campus cafe
as usual. But on this day, the club's members have not arrived.
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I have always attended schools for the deaf and mute. So I was rather lost when I
entered a regular university. However, I received help from my friends and
seniors in the Sign Language Club. Through their support, I was able to carry on.
*sits down*
I'm still in the midst of my battle, living each day uneasily.
*sighs*
I wonder if I can continue university studies like this. But, instead of that, I should
be thinking about the coming exams. //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// Ahh, what a lovely scent. It's coming from behind.
As if to compensate for my lack of hearing, my other senses are quite sensitive.
The scent is refreshing, but mixed with a tinge of sweetness. There is no one I
know who carries this scent.//
Honda Shigeto: Eh.
Makino Touwa: Ah.
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// He looks like a model. I was tapped on the shoulder from the back, and when I
turn to look, the person before me, is very beautiful... man. //
Honda Shigeto: Konnichiwa! Are you alone? Can I sit next to you?
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// I am lost in his gentle eyes, kind mannerism and moving lips. On a piece of
paper, I wrote "I can't hear" and passed it to him. //
Honda Shigeto: Okay... then we'll communicate through writing. [ Writing: Pardon
me if I'm wrong, but are you Makino Touwa? ]
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// My bewildered self nodded slightly, and he continued writing. //
Honda Shigeto: [ I've always wanted to meet you. You're just like what he said. I
have a friend who knows you. And I'm just like you, a first year, but in a different
faculty. Nice to meet you. ]
Makino Touwa: ...
// My hand, that had slightly touched his as the note was passed, was suddenly
held by his.
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Ahh, somehow, my heart is beating really fast. He's good looking, treats people
well, and even though we're both males, I am still mesmerized by him. //
Honda Shigeto: [ I'm Honda Shigeto, a first year in Economics. But I rarely come to
the campus. Have you prepared for the exams? ]
Makino Touwa: Eh...
// In place of answering, I shook my head furiously. And he... //
Honda Shigeto: Me too! ... I'm sorry.
// After he spoke, he hastily wrote it down on paper. //
Honda Shigeto: [ I'm hopeless too. So which club are you in? ]
Makino Touwa: [ The Sign Language Club. What about you Honda-kun? ]
Honda Shigeto: [ I'm too busy with my work, so I've no time for club activities. I'm
already having difficulties with my credits. ]
Makino Touwa: [ What type of work? ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Modeling. ]
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// Ahh, so he's a real model. //
Honda Shigeto: [ Hey, Touwa, are you dating anyone? ]
Makino Touwa: Ah.. uhh. *shakes head*
// This is the first time someone whom I've just met, called me by my first name.
And it's also the first time someone is asking me this kind of question. My eyes
are wide with surprise. //
Honda Shigeto: No one? Really?
// He keeps looking at me. Why is he having that kind of reaction? //
Takeshi: [ Sign language: Ohayou! It's really humid today. ]
// It's Takeshi! He's using sign language to greet me. I nod with a smile.
Takeshi who sat next to me, began eyeing Honda-kun and conversing with him
about something. But, Honda-kun remains smiling. //
Takeshi: { Sign: Touwa, this person is my friend. Since he only comes to school
once in a blue moon, I lectured him. The exams are just around the corner, if he
still doesn't come to school regularly, he'll be in trouble later. Touwa, you're
meeting him for the first time right? }
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Makino Touwa: { Un. Just now he told me his name and his job as a model. }
// Takeshi was looking at Honda-kun as if he is suspicious. Honda-kun made a
peace sign while he continued smiling. //
Takeshi: Sigh. { Sign: This guy may be laid back when it comes to love, but he is a
good person. So I hope you get along with him. }
Makino Touwa: Un...
// Takeshi is a good friend I knew since high school. It's with his support that I
decided to come to university, and through his recommendations, I chose my
faculty. We entered the same university and club. Takeshi who is always helpful,
has many friends, and he often introduces them to me. //
Student A: Yo!
Takeshi: Ah, senpai.
Student B: Eh? Takeshi, who's that sitting over there?
Takeshi: That's my friend.
Honda Shigeto: I'm Honda Shigeto. Nice to meet you.
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Student B: Woah! Yoroshiku! Ne ne, Honda-kun, you're a model right?
Student C: I saw you in a recent mag!
// Honda-kun is now surrounded by the senior girls. He must be, really popular. //
Honda Shigeto: [ I want to enter the Sign Language Club as well. I want to be able
to talk to Touwa about many things. Oh, and can you give me your phone's mail
address? I'll write mine down here. Ah, but please keep this a secret from
everyone. ]
// Honda-kun is truly a kind person. He has only just met me and yet is able to
converse with me... I wrote my mail address down on corner and tore the paper
before passing it to Honda-kun. //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
Honda Shigeto: [ After classes end tomorrow, the three of us should go for a
meal. I hope to form a good friendship with Touwa. ]
Makino Touwa: ... [ Texting: Thank you, I want to know about Honda-kun as well. ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Just call me Shigeto. Shall we eat at Shinjuku? ]
Makino Touwa: [ It's okay. The club members went there recently for drinks too. ]
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Honda Shigeto: { Touwa, the speed you're responding is fast! }
Makino Touwa: { That's because the mobile phone is my necessity. I can talk to
people with it, so it's really convenient. }
Takeshi: Oi Shigeto! Time to go!
Honda Shigeto: Alright!
Takeshi: Touwa, you too!
Makino Touwa: Eh...
Honda Shigeto: [ Without knowing , I became engrossed (with you). ]
// Takeshi is beckoning us over with his waving. But all I hope for is to be able to
get along with Shigeto... that is what I thought. //
==============================
Track 02
Makino Touwa: { Sign: I've been invited by a friend for a meal tomorrow, can I go?
}
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Makino's mother: { Sure, but be careful. Send us a text when you're coming home.
}
// During dinner, I used sign language to communicate with okasan. She repliedme with a smile. Otousan was smiling as well. In my family, I'm the only one with
a hearing disability. As I am shy and timid, my parents were worried, and always
tells me that there things that I can do even if I can't hear, and encourages me by
saying, "If there's anything you'd like to do, go ahead and do it."
*tapping on table*
Makino Teru: {Call me once you've reached the station, I'll pick you with the car.}
// Looking with his firm eyes, Niisan, who is 5 years older than me, is always
worried about me. //
Makino Touwa: { I can come home on my own. Don't worry. }
Makino Teru: { Even in daylight, it's dangerous for you. So I'll be more worried if
it's at night! }
Makino Touwa: { I'll be cautious of my surrounding when coming home. I don't
want to bother you at night. }
Makino Teru: It's not a bother at all! I'm just worried. So let me do it.
Makino Touwa: { Alright, I'll text you. }
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// There are many people supporting me, and they are all gentle and kind. I am
always grateful towards them.
But, is it okay to carry on like this? Am I being a burden to everyone?
Everyone says that I am a serious and hardworking child. But that is because I am
always uncertain and have no confidence about the things I do. If I were to stop
and look back, I may not be able to move forward anymore. That's why I am
pushing on with all I've got.
It's okay...
*mobile phone vibration*
Ah! A text! It's from Shigeto! //
Honda Shigeto: [ I've just ended a photo shoot. Going back to school after such a
long time, makes me kinda tired now. Made quite a lot of mistakes today, so I'm a
little down now. Working and studying at the same time is tough~ Sounds like I'm
being whiny... sorry! I'll be a-okay tomorrow! So let's talk about something
happier! ]
// What a coincidence. We're both feeling down at the same time, it makes me
feel a little closer to Shigeto. //
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Makino Touwa: [ It must have been tough on you to work until this time. There
are also times when I have no confidence in myself, but I will still do my best.
Although I know it must be difficult for you to work and study at the same time,
let's try our best together! But, do look after your health! Rest well for today. ]
Ah...
Honda Shigeto: [ Thank you. I feel much better after seeing your text. During
difficult moments, let's encourage each other and do our best! Well, see ya
tomorrow! ]
Makino Touwa: [ Goodnight. ]
// It's okay...
Dai...jyou...bu... (It's okay)
I used my right hand and wrote out the words over the left side of my chest. Thisis like a good luck spell, for me to recover my spirits for tomorrow. And so I cast
this spell, to be able to do my best with Shigeto, and everyone else. I must keep
on doing my best, push on! //
==============================
Track 03
// There seems to be many people gathered at the cafe's terrace today. From the
entrance all the way to the seats, there are more girls than usual crowding around
Shigeto.
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It's amazing... After knowing him for two weeks, I came to realize how popular he
is. But today it is exceptionally overwhelming. Although it's nothing unusual, I feel
as if I shouldn't be sitting next to him. What should I do? //
Takeshi: Eh... { Touwa, I'll go talk to Shigeto, so let's go elsewhere. }
// After telling me that with sign language, Takeshi headed towards Shigeto's
direction and waved at him. Shigeto threw us a smile when he noticed us. And
after that, the two of them began talking.
What are they talking about? As I looked at them, I began spacing out.
It is a (conversation) I can't place myself into. Although I am already used to it,
and it's something that can't be helped... yet at this moment, I still feel lonely. //
Makino Touwa: Ah.
// There is a fashion magazine on the table with pictures of Shigeto's smiling face
amidst a cool backdrop . //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// Wah, he looks so cool!
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It's the first time I'm seeing Shigeto as a model and I ended up being engrossed in
it. While seeing this side of him, I began feeling the distance between the two of
us. //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
Honda Shigeto: Morning!
// Shigeto spoke with clear lip movements and smiled. As those lips were so close,
my heart started beating fast. //
Honda Shigeto: { Good morning... I've been wanting to speak to you. }
// Shigeto used his hands, to say "good morning" in sign language. While being a
little hesitant, he slowly formed the words (through sign language) with his gentle
expression to communicate with me. He has just picked up sign language, but he
is now able to use it to have simple conversations with me. //
Honda Shigeto: { There are... empty seats there... Pass me your tray... I'll hold it
for you... }
Makino Touwa: *passes tray* { Thank you }
Takeshi: { Shigeto, have you eaten? }
Honda Shigeto: [ Writing: Yeah, but because it's been so rowdy, doesn't feel like
I've eaten anything. Touwa, let me have a bit of your Chinese noodles. ]
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Makino Touwa: [ You can have half of it. ]
Honda Shigeto: [ No no, Touwa, you need to have a proper meal! ]
Makino Touwa: *eats*
// It's embarrassing to have him staring at me like this. //
Honda Shigeto: Cute...
// Uh... I saw him mouth the words "cute"... Cute?! Did I see wrongly? Or is he
teasing me? //
Takeshi: *whacks*
Honda Shigeto: Ouch!
Takeshi: Hey you! Don't be hitting on him for fun!
// So he was teasing me...
I know that he means no harm, but to have someone who is in the same year, and
so handsome, to say such things... As a boy, I feel kinda confused... //
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Honda Shigeto: O-ooouch...
Makino Touwa: [ Does it hurt? Are you okay? ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Touwa, you're really kind. ]
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// I suddenly felt flustered by his gaze, but I'm unable to look away. //
Takeshi: *whacks*
Honda Shigeto: That hurts~!
Takeshi: { Sorry, Touwa. This guy acts fast. If you don't like it, be sure to rejecthim! Or else he'll get ahead of himself. }
// He said that I'm cute, and kept looking at me. To have Shigeto treating me like
this, is almost a crime. Even if he was joking, there will be many girls who will take
him seriously.
But, I guess such people do exist... //
Honda Shigeto: [ Writing: Touwa, do you have any plans on Friday? ]
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Makino Touwa: [ Nope. ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Do you want to come visit me at my photo shoot site? ]
Makino Touwa: [ For your modeling work? ]
Honda Shigeto: [ You saw the magazine I was in just now right? So I was
wondering if you were interested. If you're okay with it, do come and visit me at
work. ]
Makino Touwa: [ Won't I be in the way? ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Don't worry, I've had many friends coming to visit, so don't hold
back. I'll draw the map and address for you here. ]
// I nod slightly and Shigeto smiles happily. Although I'm a little nervous, I'm reallylooking forward to it.
Shigeto wrote down the address and meeting time on the notebook. I sat at the
side looking, while feellng a sense of elation, with my heart beating excitedly. //
==============================
Track 04
// Is it okay? Will I really not be in the way? //
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Honda Shigeto: Touwa!
// Ah! It's Shigeto! //
Honda { Sign: Shigeto: You didn't get lost, did you? }
Makino Touwa: { Nope. }
Honda Shigeto: { The studio is... at the basement of this building. I'll bring you in,
follow me. }
// Shigeto pulled me along by the hand and after entering the studio, people who
looked like the staff and the other models, turned to look at me.
Since it is the first time I'm in a studio, I got nervous and began looking around
warily. Shigeto pulled me by his side and smiled gently.
With that warm smile, I let out a sigh of relief. //
Makino Touwa: Haa...
Honda Shigeto: [ It'll be my turn for the shoot, so just wait here okay? ]
Makino Touwa: Un.
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// I nodded. Shigeto gave a slight wave before walking towards the bright lights.
The moment he stepped in front of the camera, Shigeto became a different
person.
Standing before the staff, he moves so gracefully, posing together with the other
models, according to the photographer's instructions. //
Makino Touwa: Haa...
// It's amazing...He's cool yet beautiful, this is the aura exuding from Shigeto. He is
so dazzling that I can't help looking at him. //
~
Makino Touwa: Ah... { You looked really cool! Shigeto, you're amazing! }
Honda Shigeto: Hehe. { Not at all! } [ Texting: Instead of that, everyone is saying
that you're cute. ]
Makino Touwa: { No way... }
Honda Shigeto: [ It's true. Hey, shall we take a photo together for keepsake? ]
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// Eh?! //
Honda Shigeto: [ The stylist will do your hair up and doll you up a little. Since it's
such a rare chance, we should make you more adorable. But this is just for fun, doyou don't have to be too bothered by it. ]
// Is it really okay to do all these? //
Honda Shigeto: [ You don't have to be so worried. Just relax. ]
Staff A: Alright just take a sit here.
Makino Touwa: Ah.
// One of the staff did my hair and make-up... Wow, I can't even recognize myself.
//
Honda Shigeto: Hehe! { You look really cute! }
Makino Touwa: { I'm a little shocked. }
Staff A: Isn't this boy just cute!
Staff B: Yeah, I think we'll be able to take some good shots!
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// Everyone is looking at me... //
Honda Shigeto: { Don't worry, just smile. }
// It's okay... it's okay!
I repeated the 'spell' in front of myself a few times while taking deep breaths. //
*camera / shutter clicks*
Honda Shigeto: Un. { It's over. Good job. Were you nervous? }
Makino Touwa: Ahh...{ Yep, but I had fun! }
Honda Shigeto: [ Texting: Everyone said that they have turned into your fan. ]
// That can't be true. It must be because they are Shigeto's friends that they said
such things.
But, I am still happy to hear that. //
Honda Shigeto: [ You must be tired. I'll be done soon, so would you like to come
over to my place? It's close by and we can take our time to go there. ]
Makino Touwa: Ahh...
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Honda Shigeto: [ Are you surprised? I live alone so you don't have to worry about
bothering anyone. Just come over and hang out. ]
==============================
Track 05
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// Somehow I feel really nervous. Just looking across the room, I can see that
Shigeto's room is painted a deep shade of blue. //
Honda Shigeto: { Are you tired? }
Makino Touwa: { I'm okay. Shigeto was really cool! ... Shigeto, do you like blue? //
Honda Shigeto: [ Texting: It's calming. Most of my clothes are blue as well. And if I
see something I like during the shoots, I'll buy them.
*opens wardrobe*
If you like, feel free to take any clothes that's to your liking. I've received plenty of
them during work, and there are some which I think are suitable for you. I usually
give them to my friends, so don't hold back. //
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Makino Touwa: [ Such trendy clothes... will be wasted on me. ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Don't say that. Have you got a brand that you like? ]
Makino Touwa: [ Niisan usually picks my clothes. He tells me not to wear fanciful
clothes, but rather those that are neat and decent. ]
// Niisan who is always worried, strictly forbids me from revealing too much skin.
On top of that, he suggests me to wear plain clothes that makes me look older.
That's why I don't have any colorful clothes, let alone tank tops or sleeveless tops.
//
Honda Shigeto: [ You really should try on more types of clothes!] Hm... [If it's
something like this, your brother should approve of it? Go on try it~ ]
// The top that Shigeto has chosen is really cool, but will it be suitable for me? //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// Shigeto brought me over to large mirror, and held the shirt in front of me. A
refreshing yet sweet scent lingered in the air, what is the name of this cologne? //
Makino Touwa: .Ah..
Honda Shigeto: It suits... you.
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// Shigeto gazed at me and gently took my left hand, writing the words "it suits
you" with his finger.
This delicate action of his, made my heart flutter a little.
"I want to tell him. I want him to hear my words." Shigeto's eyes seems to be
reflecting those thoughts.
It is the first time I have felt such honest feelings from him. //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// After that, we began using sign language and mobile texts to communicate. //
Honda Shigeto: { Which one do you like you? }
Makino Touwa: Uh...
Honda Shigeto: [ Don't hold back, go ahead and choose something. ]
Makino Touwa: { It's okay. }
Honda Shigeto: { "It's okay" ... This sign language, is something that you use
often... Is this how you always encourage yourself? }
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// Shigeto...
Being wrapped by Shigeto's warmth and scent, I took deep breaths.
I have always been rushing around, and never felt something as peaceful as this.
I'm always working too hard, tiring myself... it is exhausting... //
Makino Touwa: *breathes*
// Shigeto is hugging me tightly! What should I do?! My heart is beating fast! //
Honda Shigeto: Hehe. { Rely on me... and tell me more... Oh yes... Come by the
studio again? Everyone is looking forward (to seeing you again. }
// Being by Shigeto's side, makes me feel at ease. Not just his appearance, but
even his inner self is special too. He must be loved by everyone. How nice if I can
always stay by his side. I'd feel happy everyday and be able to carry on. //
==============================
Track 06
Makino Touwa: ...
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Takeshi: { Sign: Yo, Touwa! Alone? }
Makino Touwa: { Yep, where's Shigeto? }
Takeshi: { Over there. He's being held up by someone. }
// Following the direction of where Takeshi is pointing at, the sight of Shigeto
talking to a girl came into my vision.
A rather petite and cute girl... someone whom I've seen around before.
As I've hanging around Shigeto quite often these days, I've seen her around. //
Makino Touwa: { That girl, is someone Shigeto knows well? }
Takeshi: { They dated for a while before... }
// Dated Shigeto? Well it is normal, for Shigeto to have a girlfriend. Be it in the
past, or present... perhaps he is now... //
Honda Shigeto: { Touwa, how were your exam papers? }
Makino Touwa: { I have no confidence in them. }
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// I answered with an awkward smile, while my sight shifted to the girl who is
sitting inside.
Sadness is reflecting on her face, as she keeps looking this way. There areprobably many who feels the same way as her. //
Female student: Honda-kun~! You'll join us for the gathering tonight right?
Honda Shigeto: Hi senpai! Of course I'll be there.
// Shigeto uses the same smile he shows in front me, towards everyone he speaks
to. I wonder if he has a special person. If he does, what kind of person is (she)? To
have Shigeto like (her), (she) must surely be a wonderful person. //
Takeshi: { Are you bothered by Shigeto? }
Makino Touwa: { A little... }
Takeshi: { Shigeto is a kind person. There are many times when he is unable to
turn down invitations. So it gets a little troublesome. }
Makino Touwa: { These kind of things do happen I guess. Since he is very popular.
He probably has a girlfriend right? }
Takeshi: { Ah, about that-}
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Friend: Ah, Takeshi! There you are! I've been looking for you! Can you spare me
minute?
Takeshi: What is it? ... { Touwa, sorry, can you wait a while? }
Makino Touwa: { Okay. }
// Does Shigeto have a girlfriend. or does he not? After my conversation with
Takeshi was interrupted, being unable to talk to neither Shigeto nor Takeshi, the
club meeting began. //
Student A: { Touwa, are you working hard? If there's anything that's inconvenient
for you, do let us know. }
Makino Touwa: { Thank you very much. Everyone treats me nicely, so everything
is fine. }
Student A: { Touwa is adorable. *pats head* }
// Everyone in the sign language club is kind, but the physical contacts are a little
awkward for me. Even now, the seniors will come and pat or stroke my head. I
think this is their way of showing me affection, but I'm always worried over what
kind of response I should give in return. //
Female Student B: Touwa's cheeks are smooth! I'm so envious!
Female Student C: His eyes are big, no matter how I see them, they're so cute!
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// While getting teased as usual by the seniors, I looked around and saw Shigeto,
who is surrounded by girls, looking this way. He is having this stern look which I've
never seen before.
Why... is he having such a scary expression? //
Female Student B: [ We prefer Touwa. ]
Female Student C: [ Honda-kun is good looking. But it seems like even if we getalong, it's gonna be difficult. ]
// Difficult? //
Makino Touwa: [ Writing: What do you mean? ]
Female Student B: [ He is already popular since he is a model. And since he
doesn't turn people down, he is liked by everyone... The rivalry is intense. ]
// Rivalry... //
Student C: [ Have you heard about his ex-girlfriend? ]
// Ex-girlfriend... //
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Female Student C: [ I heard that even they break up, there are many who still
wants to go back to him. And recently, there is always this girl we see around him.
]
// No matter where he goes, Shigeto is indeed a popular person. Everyone surely
likes him a lot, and even if it's just for a while, they all want to stay by his side.
I am just one of the many. I know that... but my heart... still hurts... //
==============================
Track 07
// Somewhere within me, the impact of Shigeto's existence is growing.
Unconsciously, I'm always thinking about him. Where is he now? Who is talking to
and smiling at? Who is he thinking of?
After the gathering, Shigeto went do Hokkaido for a modeling job, and has now
texted me saying that he'll be returning to Tokyo tonight. He asked if we can meet
tomorrow and I replied "Okay". But, I wonder how should I face him? //
Makino Touwa: ...
// I am happy to get Shigeto's concern, and it makes me a little excited.
There has never been anyone who has affected me to this extent. I really like him.
But, the word "like" is not enough to express all the feelings I have towards him.
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Just staying by his side warms my heart, yet it aches. Looking at his smile, my
heart skips a beat.
What's this? It's as if... //
Girl: [Note pad: You're Makino Touwa? ]
Makino Touwa: Ah!
// A girl shows me a note on the table. When I look up, I realized that this is
Shigeto's ex-girlfriend, the one whom I've seen recently. //
Girl: [ Writing: I have something to tell you, but it'll be quick. ]
Makino Touwa: Ah...
Girl: [ Return Shigeto back to me. ]
Makino Touwa: Ha... ?
Girl: [ He told me that we can no longer be together. That he wants to be with you
and be of help to you. But Makino-kun, you have many others who will look after
you right? It doesn't matter even if Shigeto is not the one right? ]
Makino Touwa: ...
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Girl: [ Everyone says that he is being a "volunteer" out of his generosity. But
Shigeto belongs to everyone, so stop relying on him and being so pampered. ]
// That's mean. Even if she's been dumped, why does she have to say these to
me, a person whom she's never even met before. //
Makino Touwa: [ I'm not always clinging on to him. Furthermore, I have no
intentions of keeping him to myself. ]
Girl: [ Shigeto is gentle, so he is unable to leave behind a person like you. That's
why, you should be the one leaving him. Everyone is saying that since he met you,
his friendships with the others has deteriorated. Bet you didn't know that? Letting
someone stay by his side out of pity is something he can't help. Just be more
cautious (in handling this) and everything will end smoothly. If you call yourself a
friend, you should be helping him fall in love instead. ] *walks away*
// That girl... hates me... And it's not just her, but many others who thinks I'm inthe way. Am I a hindrance to Shigeto? Did I become too pampered because of his
kindness? He's probably staying by my side out of pity.
I should only become one of the many who hangs around him. Since when, have I
become so reliant on him. But I want to stay by his side, because I like him.
Yes... I like him, I love Shigeto! And that is why it hurts this much inside. His smile
that always pushes me on, and his hands that reaches out, they made me happy.
I've realized it now that I'm at the point where I'm afraid of losing him. What
should I do? What must I do do make things better? //
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*phone vibrating*
Honda Shigeto: [ How are you? The work ended early so I'm already back in
Tokyo. Would you like to meet up later? ]
// Are these his real thoughts? Or are they... //
Makino Touwa: [ I'm sorry, it's a little inconvenient for me now. ]
// I can't face him now. My heart is throbbing and I just can't think properly. If I
were to face him in such a state, I might end up saying things like a pampered
person. //
Honda Shigeto: [ You have classes today right? Are you still in the university? ]
Makino Touwa: [ I am, but I'm going back now. I will contact you again. ]
// I am probably a burden to Shigeto. And if that's so, it'll definitely be better... to
maintain a distance. //
*phone vibrates*
// Another text... It may be from Shigeto... I want to meet Shigeto, and yet... I
don't want to... //
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*phone vibrates*
// What should I do? I... //
*gets up*
// I should go home. //
*walks*
// It's Shigeto! I can see his back, with a big bag over his shoulders... and in his
arms, is the girl who just came to me. I don't want to be peeping, but my eyes
refuse to look away from the two of them.
Her hands pulled Shigeto's face towards her... And they kissed.
Ahh... It hurts... I can't breathe... I'm trembling all over...
Just at this moment, Shigeto caught sight of me. //
Honda Shigeto: Ah!
// He is able to do such a thing to someone he has broken off with. So he probably
is able to be like that towards anyone... It's just as what the girl has said. Shigeto
belongs to everyone. I have to be more aware of this. Even so, the moment he
treats me kindly, I will just... //
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Honda Shigeto: *runs over* Touwa!
// Shigeto... I am happy whenever I'm with Shigeto. But, it is very painful at the
same time. I am glad that we can be friends. Shigeto's smile, his kindness,
embraces me warmly. But I have realized... this feeling that I have for him, is not
merely friendship. Since when, did I...
Girl: "Shigeto is gentle, so he is unable to leave behind, a person like you... Letting
someone stay by his side out of pity is something he can't help."
I want to stay with him, but there is no place for me! What should I do? The tears
keep flowing, I can't stop them... //
Makino Touwa: *crying*
Honda Shigeto: Ahh! Touwa!
// Please, just leave me alone! My heart hurts, and it's choking me, to be treated
kindly by you. I should be happy but why am I becoming miserable. To be held by
Shigeto, his sweet scent and warmth, is a torment for me now! //
Makino Touwa: { Please don't come near me out of pity! }
Honda Shigeto: Ah!
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Makino Touwa: { I'm sorry... I'm sorry to have caused you trouble. I'm sorry that I
didn't realize it sooner. I'm sorry to have fallen in love with you...} *pushes
Shigeto away and runs*
Honda Shigeto: Ahh!
// He was so kind to me, and yet I pushed him away. But my current self can only
choose to escape, from Shigeto's kindness... and my own love... ]
==============================
Track 08
// Makino Touwa: It's been 3 days. Since then, I have not spoken to anyone else
besides my own family. After I switched my phone off, it has remained only in my
bag.
Takeshi: "This guy may be laid back when it comes to love, but he is a good
person."
Oh right, that was what Takeshi had told me before. To only remember it now...
Shigeto treats everyone with the same kindness and yet I... became attracted to
him, who was only trying to convey his feelings and to understand me. But we will
not meet again, because of me, I have left unpleasant memories behind for manypeople. Just thinking about this hurts me. //
Mother: { Takeshi just called. }
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Makino Touwa: ...
Mother: { He said he couldn't get through to your mobile phone. He wants me to
tell you that he's trying to contact you. Did something happen? }
Makino Touwa: Uh...
*Mother leaves*
// Okasan, I'm sorry. Takeshi and my family are all worried for me... I better turn
my phone on... //
*phone vibrates*
Takeshi: [ I can't get through to you so I'm worried. Shigeto said that he's being
disliked by you, so he doesn't dare to meet you. //
// Eh? //
Takeshi: [ I don't know what happened between the two of you, but if there's
something you want to say, it's better to be honest about it. It'll be bad to leave it
as a misunderstanding right? //
// But... how should I tell him? I don't dislike him! I love him... I love him so much!
But, to convey this to him... I just can't do it! //
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Takeshi: [ Shigeto may be quitting university. ]
// Quitting?! //
Takeshi: [ His modeling job is going well. He said he wants to work as hard as
Touwa, so he's putting all his heart into it. Perhaps he wants you to know that
he's not being half-hearted about it. But we won't be able to see him as often. So
before that happens, you should have a proper talk with him. ]
// I won't be able to see Shigeto... Is it okay to let it be and have Shigeto
misunderstand this whole thing? I was shocked by what that girl said, but... even
so, I still love Shigeto. If I won't be able to meet him (because I let it be), I'll
definitely regret it! I must tell him! I must talk to Shigeto properly! //
Makino Touwa: Ah... *walks down steps* ... { I'm going out, please don't worry. }
Mother: { What happened? }
Makino Touwa: { I had a quarrel with my friend. But I want us to make up. If I
don't go now, I'll regret it. I want to convey my feelings properly. }
Mother: { I see. It's already dark out there, so be careful. }
*train sounds*
*walking*
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// How should I begin? There is so many things I want to let him know. I must first
thank him, and apologize, then... no matter how laid back he may be when it
comes to love, even if he treats everyone as kindly, it's okay. Even if I'm not a
special person for him, he has been supporting me and urging me on! That's why
I'm drawn to him, and by the time I realized it, I've fallen in love with him.
I feel so happy, yet miserable, I'm about to cry...
*walking*
It's Shigeto! I see Shigeto on the opposite platform! I put my hand into my
pocket... Ah! My phone is not here! I must have left it at home in my rush! What
should I do?! I want to call out to him! I want to tell him how I feel right now! //
Makino Touwa: ...igeto!
Honda Shigeto: ?!
Makino Touwa: ...igeto!
Honda Shigeto: Touwa!
==============================
Track 09
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Honda Shigeto: { Can you speak? }
Makino Touwa: ... Little... but... not... good...
Honda Shigeto: { It's good. You called my name... I'm happy... ...} Sorry...
Makino Touwa: I am... sorry... too.
Makino Touwa: [ Texting: I guess you must have heard many things about me. It's
true that I don't reject people who come to me. I said it before, things just fall into
my hands somehow, and I'm satisfied with that. Even when it comes to love, if
they offer themselves, I'll just live in that moment of happiness. But because I
treat everyone the same way, they usually can't accept it and leave me. ]
Makino Touwa: More... tell me more...
Honda Shigeto: [ But after I met you, Touwa, I finally came to my senses. I can't be
like this. I must change if I want you to be with me. //
// Why was I wavering? The Shigeto in front of me, has always been honest in
telling me his feelings. //
Makino Touwa: *breathes*... [ I was drawn to your straightforwardness and
kindness. And I like you, so I was hoping to always be by your side. But... I know
we can't together anymore. ]
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// Without knowing it, I came to love Shigeto. If I were to say this, Shigeto might
leave me. But, I mustn't lie anymore. //
Makino Touwa: [ The "like" I have for you, is probably more than friendship.Whenever I think about you, it's as if my heart is burning, and it hurts. When I saw
you kissing another person, I felt miserable. When you touch me, I get all
flustered. ]
// That's why... I'm sorry. //
Honda Shigeto: *holds Shigeto*
Makino Touwa: Haa...
Honda Shigeto: [ If it's not "friendship", then what kind of "like" do you mean? ]
Makino Touwa: Ah...
Honda Shigeto: [ As for me, it was love at first sight the moment I saw you. ]
// Shigeto likes me? Since the first time we met?! //
Honda Shigeto: [ I've been hearing about you from Takeshi way before. He was
always reprimanding my laid back ways and thus wanted me to meet you. He said
that you're serious, hardworking and brave... and that you're an extremely good
person. And so I've always wanted to meet you. ]
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// I read on, as the words on Shigeto's phone appeared one by one. //
Honda Shigeto: [ But, I just didn't know how you looked like. The first time we
met, you kept looking at me. Your eyes were gazing into me, as if you were
sounding me out. At that moment, it was embarrassing, and yet suffocating... I
felt a squeeze in my heart... because there Touwa was (in front of me). Just the
thought that you are the person I've always wanted to meet... made me fall in
love in with you. ]
// As each word continue appearing, I felt as if I am in a dream. //
Honda Shigeto: [ Before that, be it females or males, I'd just shamelessly be with
them, and think that it's stupid to be tied down by love. But now, it's okay even if
I'm being thrown around by you. Even if it's unsightly, greedy, I don't care
anymore because I yearn for you so much.
Makino Touwa: ...
Honda Shigeto: [ My ex-girlfriend said she wanted a final goodbye kiss and so I
gave in. But I'll never do that anymore, I don't want to do that, to anyone else
besides you, Touwa. ]
// Shigeto placed his phone on the table, and started using sign language to
communicate. //
Honda Shigeto: { I love you. What about you? }
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Makino Touwa: Love... you...
Honda Shigeto: Touwa. *kiss*
Makino Touwa: Ah!
*kiss*
Honda Shigeto: { Touwa... Is it okay, being kissed by a guy? }
Makino Touwa: I don't... know... never kissed... anyone before... But... if it's
Shigeto... it's okay.
Honda Shigeto: { If it's not a just a kiss... can I do more than that? }
// More than that? //
Makino Touwa: Shi...ge... to...
Honda Shigeto: { If you don't like it, tell me. }
// I don't dislike it. I'm so happy that my heart is pounding. Although I'm afraid of
how I'll react, but if it's Shigeto, it'll be okay. //
Makino Touwa: *moan*
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// Shigeto's hand is touching my body. What should I do?! //
Makino Touwa: { It's embarrassing, with the lights on. }
Honda Shigeto: { If it's dark, I won't be able to talk to you. }
*kiss*
*moan*
Honda Shigeto: { Touwa, open your eyes, or you won't be able to see what I want
to say. }
Makino Touwa: ... Ahh... no...
Honda Shigeto: No... Touwa...Touwa...
// Shigeto's lips are calling out my name over and over again. Please... stop! I
want to say that but the words just won't come out. I want to control myself so
that I won't dirty him, but I can't hold back anymore... //
Makino Touwa: *breathing heavily* I'm... sorry...
// I've dirtied Shigeto's hand. It's embarrassing, I can't look at Shigeto in the face!
//
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*kiss*
// No... no! If he continues touching me like this, I will start feeling strange! As he
kissed my skin, he starting moving his hand. //
Makino Touwa: *moan*
// Shigeto lifted my legs into his arms and in one breath, pushed himself in.
Illegible sounds came gushing from my mouth, as I was under his control. Just thethought that I was fully exposed, made me incredibly embarrassed.
His damp skin, his usual scent, his touch... and his moist eyes that are watching
me... everything that he is giving to me... drives me crazy... //
Makino Touwa: Shige... to...
*moan*
*climax*
Honda Shigeto: { Are you... okay? }
// It feels as if I'm about to melt. A throbbing pain runs through my body. He sees
my breathing, my tear-laden face, and naked body... all of which embarrasses me.
But, I am happy to become one with Shigeto. //
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Honda Shigeto: { Can we... do this... again? }
Makino Touwa: Yes...
Honda Shigeto: { Always... stay... with me. I'll work hard, so... watch me. }
// Even I will work hard if Shigeto is around. Although I may become lost and
depress, but if I'm with Shigeto, I know I can move forward. Therefore even if it's
just by a little, I want to become a person who can support Shigeto.
I won't be lost. I believe in myself. I'll use my heart and feel Shigeto's words. I'll
always stay by his side and look to him. //
Makino Touwa: Shigeto... Love... I love... you...
==============================
Track 10
Makino Touwa: Haa... *puts down drink*
// Two weeks ago, I got myself a lover who is gentle, handsome, and an extremely
nice person.
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The person I love, told me that he loves me too. He always uses that sweet
expression and words to tell me to stay by his side. Just thinking about it, fills my
heart to the brim. //
Honda Shigeto: [ Texting: What's going on? Suffering from the heat? You're
spacing out. ]
Makino Touwa: [ I'm fine. Just thinking that you really are good looking. ]
Honda Shigeto: Hehe. { Sign: Falling in love with me all over again? Love me? Do
you want me? }
// He's making fun of me... //
Honda Shigeto: Hehe. { Touwa, you're adorable. } [ Texting: What did you do
today? ]
Makino Touwa: [ I was studying at home. It's hot, so I stayed at home the whole
time. ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Was Teru-san at home? ]
Makino Touwa: [ No... Niisan wasn't back yet. ]
Honda Shigeto: [ Teru-san seems to be wary of me. Is he that way towards all your
friends? Or am I the only one? ]
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Makino Touwa: [ Niisan is always worried about me. Since I entered highschool,
his concern has increased. He is extremely wary of outsiders, so I think it left quite
a negative impression on Takeshi and my other friends. That attitude he has isn't
just towards you. ]
// Although that was how I answered, there is an obvious difference between the
way Niisan treats Shigeto and my other friends.
When Shigeto came over to my house, Niisan had a stern expression while looking
at Shigeto, as if inspecting him. He didn't look welcoming at all.
I wonder why... I don't think that Shigeto did anything unpleasant. ]
Makino Touwa: [ I'm sorry, to have left you such an unpleasant memory. ]
Honda Shigeto: [ It's natural that Teru-san is protective of you. You look
vulnerable afterall. This is probably how he has always been protecting you. ]
Makino Touwa: *breathes out*
// To be embraced and enveloped by Shigeto's scent puts me at ease. If Shigeto
wants to break up with me, I'll surely be miserable. No, I have to put more faithinto the myself, the person whom Shigeto said he loves. //
Honda Shigeto: Shigeto, you're just adorable.
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// The embarrassment I felt when he made love to me began permeating through
my mind. I can't help but to look away. //
Honda Shigeto: { Touwa, you're blushing. }
Makino Touwa: Ah!
Honda Shigeto: { What are you thinking of? }
Makino Touwa: { About you, Shigeto. }
Honda Shigeto: { Me too. My mind is full of you, Touwa. }
*kiss*
Honda Shigeto: Touwa...
Makino Touwa: Shigeto...
*kiss*
Makino Touwa: Turn off... lights...
Honda Shigeto: *kiss* { Let me see all of you... I want to know more about you... }
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*kiss*
Honda Shigeto: { I want to see more of you... }
Makino Touwa: Stop... Ah... no...Shigeto... please... stop... Ahh... let me... go...
// Oh no, I'm already at my limit! //
Makino Touwa: Ahh! Shigeto! *climax* ...I'm... so..rry...
Honda Shigeto: { Why... are you... apologizing? }
Makino Touwa: I... couldn't... hold... back... I'm... so..rry...
Honda Shigeto: { I was the one who did it... I... wanted... all of Touwa... }
Makino Touwa: Shi...ge... to...
Honda Shigeto: { Did it... feel good? }
Makino Touwa: *gasp*
// I can't answer that! //
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Honda Shigeto: { Tell me... please. }
// If he keeps biting on my fingers like this... I won't be able to reject! //
Makino Touwa: It... felt... good...
Honda Shigeto: { Do you... want me to carry on? }
Makino Touwa: *gasp*
Honda Shigeto: { No? Why? }
Makino Touwa: I don't want... Shigeto to ... get dirty...
Honda Shigeto: *kiss* { I want more of you. Touwa, I want you. I want you so
much that it drives me insane. } *enters*
Makino Touwa: *moan*
// Shigeto! Shigeto! Even I want you that I'm unable to stop myself! //
*climax*
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Honda Shigeto: *heavy breathing* I love you...
Makino Touwa: *heavy breathing* I... love you too...
*kiss*
DISC 2
Track 01
// Makino Touwa: Yesterday I stayed over at Shigeto's apartment, and today we
spent our time together till night. When I went home, Shigeto sent me to the
station. //
Honda Shigeto: [ Texting: I'm thinking of buying a car, so that we'll be able to
travel around. And when we go on dates, I'll be able to pick you up. Just look
forward to it. I want to be with you as much as possible. I want to create more
time for the both of us to be alone. ]
// Shigeto! //
Honda Shigeto: [ I will work harder to let Teru-san understand that I treasure you.
To be disliked by him is depressing, and I don't want to cause him unnecessary
worries. On top of that, it makes you uneasy right? ]
Makino Touwa: Thank you...
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// I love you! I don't want to leave! If only I can always stay with him like this
forever. //
Honda Shigeto: { I'll contact you soon. }
Makino Touwa: { Okay. Do your best at work. }
// When will be the next time we meet? I should also start doing my best in what I
Can do. //
~
Makino Touwa: { Niisan, I'm home. }
Makino Teru: { Welcome back. Yesterday you went out and stayed at your friend's
place too right? Even though it's the summer vacation now, aren't you staying outtoo much? }
Makino Touwa:{ I've been studying properly. }
Makino Teru: { Touwa, you've changed nowadays. The type of friends you're
hanging out with and your dressing has gotten rather stylish. It must be under the
influence of that model called Shigeto right? He is quite a flashy person. He is
good with talking and is sociable, he probably has a wide social circle. He isn't the
type you should trust. You should think about the way you're hanging around
him. }
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// Niisan dislikes Shigeto. //
Makino Touwa: { Shigeto is a trustworthy person. Besides he has always
respected and looked after me. }
Makino Teru: { The timing at which you leave the house and all your overnight
staying... your actions have gotten quite audacious. If you don't want to cause our
parents and I to worry, choose better friends. This is all for your sake, Touwa.
Have I ever given you wrong advice? }
Makino Touwa: *shakes head*
Makino Teru: If you're just friends, don't you think you're sticking to close to him?
It's only natural that I'm warning you now, after seeing how you're being
influenced by him.
// That's right, if we're only friends, the time that we're spending together isperhaps too much. Because up till now, I've never had a friend that I can spend so
time with. But, Shigeto is my lover. If I can, I want to stay by his side as much as I
can. Even so, I don't have the courage to tell niisan. //
Makino Touwa: { Please don't speak ill of Shigeto. I hang around him because I
enjoy it. }
Makino Teru: { If you don't want me to say bad things about him, then Touwa,
you should stay away from him. }
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// I didn't expect Shigeto to give niisan such a bad impression. They've only met
once! Why does niisan hates him this much? //
Makino Touwa: Shigeto...
// What will niisan think, if he finds out that Shigeto is someone special for me.
[Flashback]
Makino Teru: If you don't want me to say bad things about him, then Touwa, you
should stay away from him.
I don't want to leave him! //
*phone vibrates*
// It's from Shigeto! //
Honda Shigeto: [ Text: I'm glad we could we are able to spend our time leisurely.
It's difficult whenever we have to be apart. Actually I've just received a role for a
commercial. I'm so happy so the first person I wanted to tell is you. I will probably
be getting busier. Although it's tough not being able to see you, but I'll keep
working harder so that Teru-san will come to understand someone like me.
// Shigeto is bothered by niisan... //
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Honda Shigeto: [ I'll text you everyday without fail! Even if we're apart, please
don't forget you're the most important person to me. I love you. //
// I must work harder! But... we won't be able to meet for a while. I've had morechances seeing him on magazines, and I'm glad that he is getting recognized. But,
I feel lonely that we aren't able to meet as much.
Sorry Shigeto... that you have such a willful lover. //
Makino Touwa: [ Text: Thank you. I'm glad that I can stay by your side. Congrats
on your new commercial role! I'll be looking forward to it! I will also do my best in
what I can do. I guess you'll be getting busy, but please look after your health.
I will also text you everyday. I love you, Shigeto. So even if we're not together, it
still feels as if you're right next to me.
*phone vibrates*
// I didn't expect to be so deep in love with someone.. to the point where I can't
imagine life without him.
I miss his touch and scent... What should I do? I am already feeling lonely. I want
to see him so badly.
I mustn't feel lonely over such a trivial matter...
It's okay... //
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==============================
Track 02
Female Student: { Touwa, it's been a while! }
Female Student B: { Doing fine? }
// Makino Touwa: Not seeing each other for a week, the club's members
welcomed me smiles. My heart warmed up as I soaked in the cheerfulness.
Though this activity is held for the summer vacation, I am indulging myself in this
harmonious atmosphere and having an enjoyable time. //
Takeshi: { The seniors are all fussing over you saying "Touwa has gotten cuter!".
Even as I see it, you've changed. Your appearance look more stylish. You seem to
be having fun everyday. Hee, is it because of Shigeto? }
Makino Touwa: Uh!
Takeshi: { Ah, you're blushing! Bulls-eye? Even that guy has changed. He seemsmore serious over the way he handles things, and is passionate over his work.
During his free time, he is properly studying the university's notes. When he can't
understand something, he'd text me to ask questions. He's really working hard.
Honestly, I was in quite a bit of shock. }
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// I'm so happy to hear that! //
Takeshi: { But since he is so busy, you can't really get to see him right? Even I'm
only communicating with him through texting.}
Makino Touwa: { Un, I haven't been able to see him much. }
Takeshi: { Shigeto did say, that he's lonely because he can't see you. And, he also
asked me many things about Teru-san. He wanted me to tell him how Teru-san is
like. }
// Shigeto is bothered by niisan... //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
Takeshi: { I heard that he met Teru-san? I can imagine how the situation was like...but I can also understand Teru-san's concern for you, because he has always
treasured you all these while. And now that you suddenly introduced someone as
flashy as Shigeto, it's understandable that he'd get a shock. }
Makino Touwa: { Niisan was very harsh on Shigeto. }
Takeshi: { Of course he would be. If I was your brother, I'd also get worried. So
now it's all up to Shgieto's efforts. But he's been working hard these days, so I
guess it'll take some time. But I'm sure that Teru-san will one day come to realize
Shigeto's good points. }
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Takeshi: { Of course! }
// I mustn't hesitate, and just search for the thing I want to do. Like Shigeto, I
want to find something that I can pursue. For now, let me just with what is infront of me. //
~
Makino Touwa: *flipping magazine*
// Ah, Shigeto... this photo looks really good. But, he's hugging a female model...
*sigh*
I must learn to get used to it... //
*phone vibrates*
Honda Shigeto: [ Text: I'm in the middle of a break now. The shoot will continue
after this, so I won't be able to text you for a while. These winter clothes are hot
and tiresome, but I'll get by with my will-power! Whenever I get worn out, I think
of your face and get all motivated. I look forward to the next time we meet! I will
find find time (to meet you), so please wait. Love you! ]
// No matter how busy he is, Shigeto always encourages me. So I can't get depress
over this... Shigeto, sorry. //
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And with Takeshi's invitation into his sign language circle, I have begun my new
chapter with the children there. Working as a staff there made my confidence
grow and I'm very happy. //
Makino Mama: { Touwa, you look like you're having fun these days. What a big
difference since your timid and crybaby days. But are you okay joining two clubs
at the same time? }
Makino Touwa: { Un, I'm okay. I receive help in studies from the seniors at the
university's club. And in the club that Takeshi introduced me to, I get to teach
them sign language and converse with them. I think I'll continue going there. }
// I can be useful too. I can teach others, and be of help. With that in mind, I felt a
change in me. //
Makino Teru: { How are you getting along with Shigeto. You two were hanging out
together so often before. But I don't even hear you talk about him recently. }
Makino Teru: { He is busy with his work, and working really hard now. He is on
many magazines, and even appearing in a commercial. }
Makino Papa: { Who is this Shigeto? }
Makino Mama: { A friend he made from university. He is a fine looking model, anda cheerful boy! Touwa, do call him over to visit sometime! }
Makino Teru: { Okasan, it'll look bad on Touwa if (Shigeto) doesn't want to.
Afterall he's so busy, he won't have time to play around. }
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// He is still spiteful towards Shigeto. //
~
*knocking door*
Makino Touwa: { Niisan, can I have a talk with you? }
Makino Teru: { Sure. }
Makino Touwa: { Uh, what's this 10,000 yen for? }
Makino Teru: { You're going out more often, so your allowance probably isn't
enough right? I'm concerned, since you're getting serious in doing your things
recently. }
Makino Touwa: { Thank you, niisan! }
Makino Teru: { You finally got into university, so be a good student and enjoy your
club activities. If you're to get influenced by bad company like Shigeto, you'll be
lead astray. }
Makino Touwa: { Shigeto is bad company?! }
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Makino Teru: { Whoever who'll corrupt Touwa is bad company. }
// Corrupt... //
Makino Touwa: { He is not corrupting me! }
Makino Teru: { You've changed ever since you got to know him. He is the type of
person who is sociable and treats everybody nicely, only on the surface. Even if
you look up to him, he thinks nothing of you. }
Makino Touwa: { Why must you say that?! }
Makino Teru: { Because I understand this kind of things. I have been fooled by
someone who is like Shigeto before. He puts on a kind face to get near you, and
when he loses interest in you, he gives you the cold shoulder. If you get any more
involved with him, you'll end up hurt. }
Makino Touwa: ...
Makino Teru: { I don't want you to be treated like a play thing by him. }
Makino Touwa: ...
Makino Teru: { Calm down and think over it carefully. When he's free, he drags
you around without sparing a thought for your condition. And now that he's busy,
he uses work as an excuse and makes no contact. What a self-centered man. }
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Honda Shigeto: *awkward laugh*
// Did I say something weird? //
~
Waiter: Welcome.
Honda Shigeto: [ Everyone will be here soon, let's take a seat first. ]
Makino Touwa: Uh...
Friend A: Evening!
Sei: Waited long?
Friend B: Yo!
A: [ Do you still remember us? We said we hope to see you again. ]
Sei: [ Shigeto just doesn't want to arrange it. Let's meet again without Shigeto
next time. ]
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B: [ Do come to the studio to hang out again, and join us in the shoot. ]
Honda Shigeto: *whacks all 3*
// What's going on with Shigeto? //
Waiter: Sorry to keep you waiting.
Sei: [ You can call me Sei. It must be tough to stay around a self-centered person
like Shigeto. He is more childish than he looks. But this is probably his charm point
as well. ]
Makino Touwa: [ I never knew he had a childish side. I only know that he is very
reliable and kind. ]
Sei: [ You're being deceived. He is serious when it comes to work, but other thanthat, he's always like a kid. Recently he lost in a game during our break time, and
he was really upset about it. ]
Makino Touwa: [ Really? Seems hard to believe! ]
Honda Shigeto: { Sign: What are you talking about? }
Makino Touwa: { About you, Shigeto. }
Honda Shigeto: { Let's have a toast. You can talk later. }
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Honda Shigeto: { I'm going to the toilet. } *walks off*
Sei: [ Hey Touwa, give me your mail address. ]
A: [ Ah, me too, me too!]
B: [ Tell me too! ]
Makino Touwa: *types in address*
A: [ Shigeto told us not to lay a finger on Touwa and was really wary of us. ]
Sei: [ I didn't expect him to be such a passionate guy, since he doesn't usually
reject people who goes to him and projects this cool image. ]
B: [ Although Touwa's looks and vulnerability is rather seductive, but we're not
that type of bad people. ]
Makino Touwa: [ I understand. ]
A: [ Let's be friends. ]
Makino Touwa: Ah. [ Sure, I am also happy that I can be your friend. ]
Honda Shigeto: *returns*
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Makino Touwa: Shigeto? What-
Honda Shigeto: *kiss*
// A very rough kiss... Unlike his usual self, he is being violent... What should I do?!
Shigeto is scary! //
*kiss*
Makino Touwa: Shige...to!
// Shigeto's movements are forceful. Please, say something! Scold me or blame
me, I want to hear Shigeto's words!
I don't even know if this is love or violence. Just show me your usual smile and I
won't feel this insecure! //
Makino Touwa: Ah!
// I can't see anything, I can't hear anything! //
*climax*
Honda Shigeto: *kiss* Touwa... { I'm sorry. }
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// I'm so afraid. I'm unable to express my fears and pains... it saddens me. //
Honda Shigeto: { I'm really... sorry. }
Makino Touwa: Did I.. do... something wrong?
Honda Shigeto: { You didn't... it's not... Touwa's fault. }
// Why? I don't know what happened to Shigeto, and what he's thinking? //
Honda Shigeto: *kiss*
// That night, Shigeto's desire for me was insatiable. I felt his erratic breath as my
body trembled. As our bodies were bounded deeply, I found myself losing
consciousness. //
~
Makino Touwa: *wakes up*
// In the morning, I woke up on Shigeto's bed. A soft blanket covers my naked
self. As I rise up, a dull pain ran through my body. At a glance, I saw red marks all
over my skin. //
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Honda Shigeto: [ Text: I'm sorry for being so reckless. How you feeling okay? I
couldn't control myself after being apart from Touwa for so long. I feel really sorry
for being so forceful on you. ]
Makino Touwa: [ I was a little shocked, but I'm okay. ]
// Why was Shigeto so unhappy yesterday? What is the reason? Was it because of
something I did to his friends? I want to ask, but I don't know how... //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
Honda Shigeto: [ All my insecurities were shown in front of everyone yesterday.
But Touwa, no matter who it is, you must be more wary. It worries to see you so
unguarded. ] *kiss*
Makino Touwa: Ah...
Honda Shigeto: [ Once you're ready, I'll send you to the station. I wish to send you
all the way home, but I've got to rush to work. Sorry. ]
// After he sees me nodding, he let out a smile as if in relief. He has always been
so gentle, but yesterday, he was a totally different person.
The way people see Shigeto varies. A bad company, childish, or a flirt... perhaps
what I know is only a small part of Shigeto.
Have I looked carefully enough at Shigeto? //
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Train station announcement: The train will be arriving shortly, please stand
behind the white line.
// Oh no, there are texts from niisan. I forgot to check my phone as I was in
Shigeto's room last night. //
Makino Teru: [ Despite my warning, I guess you must have gone and meet
Shigeto. It's about time you open your eyes. All my advice have only been for your
good. You should cut off all ties with that man soon. No matter what time, call me
once you're reaching home. I'm worried about you, Touwa. ]
// Niisan, have I mistaken? Is Shigeto really a bad person? //
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// I feel giddy... I must get a grip of myself!
It's okay... it's okay! //
==============================
Track 05
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// Makino Touwa: It has been 4 days since then, and I continued being with
Shigeto as we always did. When we can't meet, we'd text each other, making silly
talks. But, in Shigeto's text, his words of concern for me has increased. //
*door opens*
Makino Teru: { How are you feeling? }
Makino Touwa: { I'm okay, today I feel a lot better. }
// I had fever and had to stay in bed. Niisan knew that I had fallen ill after meeting
up with Shigeto. Though I had been trying to get him to understand Shigeto, the
situation just isn't getting any better. //
Makino Teru: { Don't overload yourself. Are you going somewhere today?}
Makino Touwa: { I'm heading to the library. There's a book I have to return today.
}
Makino Teru: { I see. You didn't make any plans to meet with Shigeto right? I have
my reasons for not wanting you to see Shigeto, you understand right? }
// Along the way, I have become someone who keeps defending Shigeto. At the
beginning when we were both in love, it was blissful and fun, and all I felt was
happiness. But now after a month, I have nothing but fears and insecurities. I
should think about this carefully, about Shigeto and about niisan. //
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// Playing around? //
Sei: [ Well he is popular so he knows plenty of people. ]
// So it wasn't just because of work that Shigeto is busy? //
Sei: [ Let's talk again next time. I'll tell you more about Shigeto. ]
Makino Touwa: *gets off car*
Sei: [ See ya~ ]
*car drives off*
// Is Shigeto doing anything behind my back? Is it because he doesn't want me toworry unnecessarily? Or is it something that he doesn't want me to know? I want
to know... and yet I don't. I'm afraid of finding out. I don't know how Shigeto feels.
I don't know what I should do... //
*foot steps*
Makino Touwa: { Niisan, welcome home. }
Makino Teru: { Who was that just now? }
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Makino Touwa: { He is Shigeto's friend, and also a model. He's also a friend of
mine... }
Makino Teru: { Is it something so important that he has to meet when you're stillunwell? Or were you forced to go out, under that man's orders. }
Makino Touwa: { It's not like that! This has nothing to do with Shigeto! I was just
invited out for a drink by his friend. }
Makino Teru: { Why are you so unguarded? By the time something happens it'll
be too late! That man's friend can't be decent people either. Don't put your trust
in them that easily! Let's go home. } *pulls Touwa along*
*door opens*
Makino Teru: { People like Shigeto, won't feel any sense of guilt dumping people
aside after they get bored of them. And the type of friends around them won't beany better. Once you let your guard down, you'll never know what you're getting
yourself into. }
Makino Touwa: { Why must you say things like that? Shigeto is a very kind person!
}
Makino Teru: { You're not the only person he's being kind to. If you fall in toodeep, you'll get hurt. }
Makino Touwa: { Are you talking about Maruyama-san? Shigeto is not the same as
Maruyama-san! }
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Makino Teru: !!!
// Niisan's expression has changed. So that is really the reason.//
Makino Touwa: { Niisan, did something bad happen? Are the two of them that
alike? }
Makino Teru: { It's something that I don't even want to remember. To me, they're
the same type of people. I know you just can't tell yet. You should think carefullyover what a dangerous position you're putting yourself in now. }
// Shigeto... //
==============================
Track 06
// Makino Touwa: A few days after that, I spent my days as usual. But the words
of niisan and Sei lingers in my mind, and my heart gets heavier.
I was having such enjoyable and fulfilling days before this... //
*phone vibrates*
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Makino Touwa: Ah.
Honda Shigeto: [ Text: Is it true that you met up with Sei?! Why didn't you tell
me? I only heard from the staff today that you guys met up. There are manypeople in my field who fools around. If something happens when I'm not around,
even I won't be able to protect you! ]
// Was what I did that terrible? //
*phone vibrates*
Sei: [ Want to go for a drive later? I'll tell you more about Shigeto, I can send you
home after that. ]
// What should I do, it's Sei. But if I can know more about Shigeto... //
Makino Touwa: *texting*
~
Sei: [ Sorry to keep you waiting. Actually there's something I wanted to tell you
about Shigeto. Let's go to a place where we can slowly talk about it. ]
*drives off*
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Makino Touwa: *kicks*
Sei: Argh!
Makino Touwa: *runs off / panting*
// I'm scared... I didn't expect him to do such a thing! I... was deceived! //
~
*car stops by*
// Shigeto?! //
Honda Shigeto: { Get on. } *pulls Touwa*
Makino Touwa: Ouch!
*car door closes*
Honda Shigeto: { Where were you? Who did you meet?! } *grabs Touwa*
Makino Touwa: *gasp*
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Honda Shigeto: { Who gave you this kiss mark?! Is it Sei?! }
Makino Touwa: *gasp*
Honda Shigeto: *bangs* Why won't you listen to me!? I heard from the staff, that
Sei had his eyes on you! That's why I came here worried, and wanted to tell you
myself! I was very worried the whole time at work, but I had believed that you
wouldn't ignore my warnings!
Makino Touwa: I'm...sorry...
Honda Shigeto: { This is so frustrating... am I not dependable? Do you hate me? ]
// This is all my fault... it's because I did not listen to niisan and Shigeto. //
Makino Touwa: *gasp*
// Shigeto has a bitter expression as he caresses my neck. Just then, the thought
of Sei touching me came into my mind, and I forcefully push Shigeto away. //
Makino Touwa: Hah! *runs out from car*
Honda Shigeto: Ah! *runs after Touwa* Touwa! Wait! Let's talk!
Makino Teru: Get yours hands off Touwa! *punches Shigeto*
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Makino Touwa: Ah! { Niisan, niisan! That's too much! Why are you hitting him!?
Shigeto is a model! }
Makino Teru: { I saw him forcing you into the car! How do you expect me to
remain calm after seeing that?! And why do you have a kiss mark on your neck!? }
Makino Touwa: { This isn't from Shigeto! Shigeto was- }
Makino Teru: { So it was the other guy?! Then he (Shigeto) is just a bastard whojust gives you away to his friends easily! He has never given a thought about you! I
won't allow anyone to play around with my brother any further! Get lost! Don't
come close to my brother anymore! }
Makino Touwa: Shigeto!
// How did things end up like this!? //
Makino Teru: { Do you understand now? If it wasn't for that man, you wouldn't
have gone through this. Do you know upset I feel? }
Makino Touwa: { I'm sorry. }
Makino Teru: { I can support you and protect you from any further harm. Don't
get involved with that person anymore. }
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//
~
Lecturer: That's all for today, see you next week. Well done everyone.
Takeshi: { Sign: Touwa, got time to spare? I'd like to talk to you. }
Makino Touwa: Uh. { Sure. }
Takeshi: { I got a call from Shigeto yesterday. He said he had something to
discuss... shall we go for a drink somewhere? }
~
Takeshi: { Since this is a karaoke, it's private and we can talk freely... He is quite
depressed now. It's the first time I've seen such a down side of him. I tried to talk
to him, but he seems to be feeling worse. }
// I can only bite on my lips, unable to say anything in return. //
Takeshi: { He said that he has hurt Touwa, and is hated by Teru-san. Teru-san
seems to be really angry. I think it can't be helped since he cherishes you... but
the one who is hurting the most is you right? }
Makino Touwa: Ahh...
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Takeshi: { Won't you forgive Shigeto? Do you hate him already? }
Makino Touwa: { I thought that Shigeto is the one who hates me and can't forgive
me. My actions which were suppose to not let them worry about me, has ended
up hurting them. I'm the one... at fault. }
Takeshi: { Shigeto hasn't even thought about not forgiving nor does he hates you!
It's just that he loves you so much that he is unable to calm down. Shigeto is really
in love with you. On top of that, he has lost control and let jealousy get the better
of him. It's the first time I've seen him hate himself this much. }
// Jealousy? Hate himself? Shigeto is... //
Takeshi: { I feel really glad that he got to know you! For him, you're a very
important existence. And of course, he still feels the same right now. }
// Really? Does Shigeto still likes me? //
Takeshi: Hehe, un. { That's why he was sobbing as he spoke to me over the phone.
Shigeto was really regretting causing you harm. It's better for the two of you to
have a proper talk. The both of you like each other, so isn't it lonely to let things
continue this way. }
// Can we really start all over again? //
Makino Touwa: { That you, Takeshi! I'll think over things carefully. }
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Takeshi: { Un! Do your best! }
~
// The communication between us wasn't enough. Even though not being able to
spend time together made it harder for us to understand each other, I wasn't
trying hard enough to express my thoughts too.
I must let Shigeto know. I want him to hear me. And, I want to hear his words! //
Makino Touwa: *begins texting* [ I want to have a proper talk with you, Shigeto.
It'll just take a while, can you spare some time to meet? I'll be there no matter
what time and venue. I'll meet at your convenience, please. }
// I might have become too dependent on Shigeto's kindness and trust along the
way. I'm sorry... Shigeto. //
==============================
Track 08
*phone vibrates*
Honda Shigeto: [ Text: Would you like to meet later? If it's impossible, tomorrow
will be fine too. I want to apologize to you... ]
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Makino Touwa: [ I want to meet you too. I'll go and meet you now. ]
// Shigeto's reply came that night. //
Makino Touwa: *leaving house* Ah...
Makino Teru: I'm home.
Makino Touwa: Ha... { Niisan, I'm going to meet Shigeto. I want to have a proper
talk with him. I appreciate niisan's concern for me, but I love Shigeto! I have
changed after getting to know Shigeto. Shigeto has also said that he has changed
after knowing me! He said that he used to be flamboyant, but he is different now!
And he wants niisan to see that too! }
Makino Teru: { I can't trust his words. }
Makino Touwa: { Then believe in what I say! I will never do things that will cause
you to worry! For my own sake, I will treasure myself. }
// I don't want to walk out on niisan under this situation. //
Makino Touwa: { Shigeto wants to apologize to me, and I want to do the same.
There isn't enough communication between us, I want us to communicate more
and understand each other! }
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Honda Shigeto: [ Texting: This isn't from Teru-san. I met Sei just now. I couldn't
remain calm and ended up fighting with him. I just couldn't hold myself back at
the thought of him hurting you. But, he has promised not to touch you. ]
Makino Touwa: { What about your work? }
Honda Shigeto: { This little thing can be covered up so it's okay. But I was
reprimanded by the office. }
Makino Touwa: Ah...
// This is the smile that I've always liked about Shigeto. //
Makino Touwa: { All this while, I have never talked about my troubles or worries,
because I didn't want to worry you. But, by not talking, I wasn't able to express
my feelings. I want to convey them to you, and I want to know your feelings too. }
Honda Shigeto: { Let's talk... a whole lot more. Even I want to know more and
more about you, Touwa. }
// And we went to Shigeto's apartment. //
Honda Shigeto: [ I'm sorry for causing you so much hurt, will you listen to me? ]
Makino Touwa: { Of course. }
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Honda Shigeto: [ Actually I didn't want you to meet my modeling friends. And
seeing you trying so hard to befriend them made me unhappy. Although everyone
was having fun watching me getting irritated, they knew how much I treasure
you... But Sei was different. He used to be like how I was, flirting around and
laying his hands on anyone around him. I never expected him to hit on you. I was
too naive. It must have been scary... I'm sorry. ]
Makino Touwa: { It's okay. }
Honda Shigeto: { I have been over reliant on your "It's okay" spell. }
// What does he mean? //
Honda Shigeto: [ Ever since we got together, I have changed. I want to work hard
and study hard, and better my abilities. Due to work requirements, there were
obstacles. I couldn't meet you, and was worried if I was being hated by you... But
Touwa, you were always considerate, and always told me "It's okay". I relied onthose words, and never asked about your troubles and the friction with Teru-san.
]
// Shigeto was troubled as well... he felt the same as me. //
Honda Shigeto: [ I was too preoccupied with my own things, and never took into
consideration about your feelings. Even Takeshi was angry. He said that you've
never complained about feeling lonely, and have been silently keeping it to
yourself. He asked me how long was I going to keep you waiting, and said that I've
failed as a lover. So I was overjoyed, getting your text today. ]
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Makino Touwa: { I was also regretting not talking to you, and I should have
listened to you more. If I had, things wouldn't have become this complicated. But
being able to hear so much from you... I'm really happy. }
Honda Shigeto: [ I will turn into a man that everyone approves of. That is my wish.
But in reality, I'm just a petty person who gets flustered with too much work, and
vexed when I'm unable to see you. I get jealous, and possessive, what a pathetic
person I am. But no matter how long it takes, I will keep on trying to become the
ideal man I hope to be. I love you, Touwa. You're what I need. ]
Makino Touwa: ... { I have always been trying my best silently, to not cause you
any worries. But honestly, I felt alone and uneasy. I couldn't understand what youwere thinking, and got all depressed by myself. But from now on, I want to convey
more of my feelings. To make up for the time we're unable to meet, let's keep on
communicating. I love you Shigeto. Be it the good points, or the bad points, I love
everything about you. }
*kiss*
// It's a calm and warm feeling... //
Makino Touwa: Shige...to...
// I don't want to go through that kind of sadness and regret anymore. To not
cause any more misunderstanding and worries, I must let Shigeto know my ownthoughts. //
Makino Touwa: I love you so much.
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*kiss*
Honda Shigeto: Touwa, I love you.
Makino Touwa: Shigeto... Shigeto... *moan*
// I don't want anyone else besides Shigeto! //
Honda Shigeto: Will you lick it...
Makino Touwa: *lick*
*moan*
// It feels... really good. //
*climax*
Honda Shigeto: { I won't... hurt you anymore. I will.. treasure you... }
*kiss*
==============================
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Honda Shigeto: { O-okay! I will! }
Makino Touwa: { Okasan, we'll go greet niisan now. }
*knocks on door / enters*
Honda Shigeto: { My name is Honda Shigeto. I am now dating Touwa. Thank you
for letting me meet you today. I'm sorry that I've hurt your brother, and caused
you to worry. I deeply regret it. }
// Shigeto was never able to use sign language to form such long sentences. In
order to converse not only to niisan, but to me as well, Shigeto begins using sign
language. //
Honda Shigeto: { I am not perfect. And I'm immature and unable to support
Touwa yet. But I'll work harder and become a pillar of strength to Touwa. I've
grown a lot because of Touwa. I'm so grateful to him and his existence is
important to me. I want to always be by his side. }
// Oh no, I'm so thrilled that it's suffocating. Niisan does not speak a word and just
looks at Shigeto. I guess he is still angry... //
Makino Teru: { I still don't know much about you, and can't judge if your words
are true. But Touwa trusts you, and I since he is dear to me, I trust him. Don't you
ever do anything that will hurt him in future. At least promise me this now. }
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Honda Shigeto: { I promise. I will not let myself or anyone else cause him harm! }
Makino Teru: { Touwa, I want to speak to Shigeto. Please go back to your room
first. It'll be quick. }
Makino Touwa: { Niisan, Shigeto has work after this, so please... }
Makino Teru: { I won't punch him anymore, so don't worry. }
Makino Touwa: *leaves*
~
Makino Touwa: Ah! { Shigeto, are you okay?! }