How to Win Friends and Influence People
Lionel MilanAteneo Graduate School of BusinessSpecial Report
Dale Breckenridge Carnegie was an American writer, lecturer, and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills.
Born in poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), a massive bestseller that remains popular today.
It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 16 million copies in 36 languages. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated.
Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people."
He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated.
"You can't believe what I was like if I had to give a talk. I was so terrified that I just couldn't do it. I would throw up. In fact, I arranged my life so that I never had to get up in front of anybody…. [Carnegie] changed my life”- ?
Warren Buffett Warren was very influenced
by the book How To Win Friends and Influence People. The book lists 30 rules of behaviour. The first is: "Don't criticise, condemn, or complain." This idea riveted Warren, who hated criticism. In his early twenties, he signed up for a Dale Carnegie course in public speaking.
The course was a success and Warren has been teaching, lecturing and explaining everything he can to anyone who will listen ever since.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain. 2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. 3. Arouse in the other person an eager
want.
Six Ways To Make People Like You
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.3. Remember that a man's name is to him the
sweetest and most important sound in the English language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other man's interest.6. Make people feel important, and do it
sincerely.
Twelve Ways Of Winning People To Your Way Of Thinking1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.2. Show respect for the other man's opinions. Never tell a
man he is wrong.3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.4. Begin in a friendly way.5. Get people saying "yes, yes" immediately.6. Let other people do a great deal of talking.7. Let other people feel that the idea is theirs.8. Try honestly to see things from the other man's point of
view.9. Be sympathetic with other people's ideas and desires.10. Appeal to the nobler motives.11. Dramatize your ideas.12. Throw down a challenge.
Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save face? He didn't ask for your opinion. He didn't want it. Why argue with him? You can't win an argument, because if you lose, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior, you hurt his pride, insult his intelligence, his judgment, and his self-respect, and he'll resent your triumph. That will make him strike back, but it will never make him want to change his mind. "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment 1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the
other man.4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.5. Let the other man save face.6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every
improvement.7. Give people a fine reputation to live up to.8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to
correct.9. Make other people happy about doing the thing you
suggest.
Begin in a friendly way
Here's a fable about the sun and the wind. They quarrelled about which was the stronger, and the wind said, "I'll prove I am. See that old man down there with a coat? I bet I can make him take his coat off faster than you can." So the sun went behind a cloud and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado, but the harder it blew the tighter the old man wrapped his coat about him. Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up. The sun came out from behind the cloud and smiled kindly on the old man. He mopped his brow and pulled off his coat. The sun then told the wind, "gentleness and friendliness were always stronger than fury and force." Friendliness and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than storming at them can.
Begin in a friendly way
How to influence people
How to influence people
How to influence people :Kids When 3 year old refused to eat. A bully next door kept
knocking him off his tricycle. He was told if he eats his food, he could wallop the daylights out of the bigger kid someday.
When he wet his bed, he was wearing a nightgown in his Grandma's bed. He wanted pajamas like Dad and his own bed. So, when he got them, he promised not to wet the bed because his pride was involved. He wanted to act like a man, so he did.
A 3 year old daughter wouldn't eat breakfast. She loved to imitate her Mom. So, one morning they let her cook breakfast and she ate it, because she was interested in it, she achieved a feeling of importance, and found an avenue of self-expression.
How to influence people :Kids
Avoid Arguments
(If you're a Ford salesman) When someone says, "What? Ford's cars are no good! I wouldn't take one if you gave it to me. I'm going to get Chevrolet cars." Say, "Brother, listen, Chevrolet's cars are good cars. Their cars are made by a fine company and sold by good people." He's speechless then. There's no room for an argument. If he says Chevrolet's cars are the best and I say sure it is, he has to stop. Just agree with him. He can't go on all afternoon when I'm agreeing with him. We then get off the subject of Chevrolet's cars and I begin to talk about the good points of Ford's cars.
Never tell a man he is Wrong
If a man makes a statement that you think, or know, is wrong, begin by saying, "Well, I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let's examine the facts." You'll never get into trouble by admitting you may be wrong. That'll stop all arguments and inspire the other fellow to be just as fair and broad-minded as you are. It'll make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong.
When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. And if we are handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and broadmindedness. But not if someone else is trying to ram the fact down our throat.
Throw down a challenge Charles Swabb said, "The way to get things
done is to stimulate competition. Not in a sordid, money grabbing way, but in a desire to excel." The challenge! An infallible way of appealing to men of spirit. The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his worth, to excel, to win. The desire for a feeling of importance.
How does this help us as future entrepauners?1. Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts,
new visions, new ambitions. 2. Enable you to make friends quickly and easily. 3. Increase your popularity. 4. Help you to win people to your way of thinking. 5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to
get things done. 6. Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep
your human contacts smooth and pleasant. 7. Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining
conversationalist. 8. Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your
associates.9. More promising approach to human relations
Bibliography
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People
"How To Win Friends and Influence People” – Dale Carnegie
