© 2010 Jones and Bartlett Publishers, LLC
Umiker's Management Skills for the New Health
Care Supervisor, Fifth Edition
Charles McConnell
© 2010 Jones and Bartlett Publishers, LLC
Chapter 20
Conflict and ConfrontationConflict and Confrontation
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Disagreements?
Disagreements can be healthy as
long as they culminate in positive
solutions or force second looks at
questionable situations
When resolved, disputes can foster
improved relationships.
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Principal Causes of Conflict
Unclear Expectations or Guidelines Poor Communication Lack of Clear Jurisdiction Differences in Temperaments or
Attitudes Individual or Group Conflicts of
Interest Operational or Staffing Changes
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When Conflict is Suppressed
It rarely goes away on its own.
It invariably worsens.
It eventually becomes more difficult
to resolve.
It is more likely to result on long-
lasting damage.
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Strategies for Coping with Conflict
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Avoidance
Avoidance may be appropriate when: The problem is not yours There is nothing you can do about it It is inconsequential and not worth the effort You need more information One of you is emotionally upset The possible disruption outweighs the
benefits n You can see it will change if you can wait it
out
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Fight
If you fight, you could lose.
If you win a skirmish, it’s still not over.
Your opponents may become saboteurs.
Choose to fight when someone is
violating an important rule or
committing an ethical or legal violations.
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Surrender
Surrender can be appropriate when: You know the other party is right. You have no stake in the issue. Your chance of winning is infinitesimal. Harmony and stability can be achieved. Giving in on a minor item now can
mean winning a more important one later.
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Compromise
Compromise may be appropriate when:
Opposing goals are incompatible.
A temporary settlement to complex
issues is called for.
Time constraints dictate the need for
an expedient solution.
Discussions have stalled.
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Collaboration
The parties attack the problems rather than each other.
Problems are resolved through honest and open discussion.
Collaboration uncovers information, challenges false assumptions or perceptions, and promotes improved understanding.
It leads to better decisions
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Win-Win
This true win-win approach is
usually the best alternative, but
it customarily requires more
creative solutions
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Confrontation Guidelines: Ask
What do I want to accomplish?
What is the most I will give up?
What do I believe the other person
wants?
What false assumptions or incorrect
perceptions might the other party hold?
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Confrontation Guidelines: Ask
Which strategy should I apply?
What are my “hot buttons,” and
what should I do if they are pushed?
If I plan to use a collaborative
approach, what special precautions
should I take?
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Gearing up for Confrontation
• Practice success imagery.
• Adjust your self-talk.
• Rehearse.
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When Confronting
Avoid sitting across a desk or table from the person.
Open the discussion by saying something like “Let’s see how we can solve this in a way that satisfies both of us.”
Outline the problem, then move to areas of agreement
Listen attentively, asking pertinent questions.
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When Confronting
It often pays to ask the person what
he or she wants
Let the person know that you hear
and understand content and feelings.
Use the person’s name frequently.
Seek a win-win solution.
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When Confronting
Emphasize your inability to change the past
and affirm that you want to focus on the
present and future.
Stay cool and avoid rhetorical or emotional
escalation.
Let the other party save face; he or she
should come away with something.
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To Be More Effective:
Be prepared, just as you would be for a
debate.
Choose the best time and place.
Regard the other person not as an enemy
but as a partner in problem solving.
Clarify the other person’s viewpoint as
well as your own.
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To Be More Effective:
Focus first on a point of agreement,
then move on.
Be assertive, not aggressive.
Attack the problem or the behavior and
its results, never the other person
Do not cause your opponent to lose
face; use no threats or ultimatums.
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To Be More Effective:
Do not be sarcastic or critical.
Avoid using the word “you.” It is
frequently followed by an attack on
the person’s ego.
To avoid retaliation, use the straw
man technique.
Be aware of your body language
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To Be More Effective:
Control your voice. Keep its volume,
pitch, and rate under control.
Be diplomatic and tentative when
facing firm resistance.
When you are cornered or upset,
escape by pleading stress.
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To Be More Effective:
Do not get stuck believing that your
solution is the only workable one
Promise realistic rewards that you
can deliver (“If you will…, then I
will…”).
End on a positive note.
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Coping with an Angry Person
Never lose your cool Make no comments about the other
person’s anger or tell him or her not to be angry.
Do not patronize or lecture. When a person approaches you and
you sense that he or she is angry, greet the individual as a friend.
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Coping with an Angry Person
Ask questions. The person who asks the
most pertinent questions controls the
agenda.
Listen to the person’s outbursts without
interrupting.
Make certain that you understand the
problem.
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Coping with an Angry Person
Avoid becoming defensive or
argumentative.
Empathize by paraphrasing what you
think the person is angry about and
why he or she feels that way.
Assure the person that something will
be done.