Agenda
Universal supports:for all children through relationships environments.
Prevention: targeted social emotional strategies to prevent problems.
Intervention: individualized intensive interventions
Reinforcement: The 5:1 rule
Gottman, J. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. New York: Simon and Schuster.
Relationships with tough parents
Note: these are not tough parents. They are my in-laws, and they are lovely.
PBS, it’s all about relationships
Build a relationship with every familyProvide info about child developmentGive parents a person to turn to if they are
ever ready to learn more about parenting.Help plan for the next transition. Report suspected abuse and neglect.
Barriers:
They are not that friendly
Your hardest kids probably have your hardest families.
Stuff that makes kids misbehave sometimes make adults misbehave.
Some parents are worried about your judgment, have a problem with authority, or have had past negative experiences in school.
Solutions:They are not that friendly.
5:1 rule phone calls, voicemail, email, bravo cards, photos, certificates, awards
Face time
Barriers: They don’t have time for you
Parents may be struggling with getting basic needs met.
Parents can’t get work off, don’t have transportation.
Solutions: They don’t have time for you.
Home-visitMeet them on their lunch breakMake plans months in advance, then
give reminder calls/notes/stickersGo out that dayOpen house v. graduation
Barriers: We don’t have time for them
•Many agencies don’t give staff members adequate time to build family relationships•Too much to do during the work week!
Solutions: We don’t have time for them.
• Once in a while deliver a forgotten coat• More Parent-Teacher Conferences• Open house• School productions/plays• Art shows• Graduation parties• Parents come in for a class party/event, etc. • Bravo cards• Photos home • Certificates or awards
Solutions:We can’t get a hold of them
My business card laminated with my photo and a magnet for fridge
Communication notebooksTape notes to backsCall their emergency numbers
Barriers:We are mad at them
Its hard not to judge! We love their kid and we’re mad that they are making his life hard.
“I’m not trained for this!” A recipe for a home-visit
Let simmer. Repeat.
1. Hi! (add positive story)
2. How are you? Last time we talked we talked about… How’s that going?
3. Encourage and build on their efforts!
4. Summarize “we have a plan. I will.. You…”
Prevention with At-Risk Kids
Social skills preschoolers needKnowing and liking your selfUnderstanding and managing feelingsMaking and keeping friends
Knowing and Liking Yourself
Same and different: stand up (or thumbs up or line up) if you have a sister.
Permission to like/dislike things
(Koplow, 2007). Read a “book” about a child
Knowing and Liking Yourself Compliments
Compliments“I like the way you…” Teach the song to the tune of Frere
Jacque (I do it on instrument day):
Hello Candice
How are you?
Compliment a friend and we’ll clap for you!
Knowing and Liking Yourself : Jobs
Meaningful jobs help children feel responsibility and belonging Every child has a job? Sharing jobs?
Managing Feelings: Solve Problems Together
Have a class meeting• “Put it on the agenda” (Nelsen, et at., 2007).
• Time out was going badly: Sad coffee break
Act it out with puppets (Derman-Sparks,1989).
• Ask a child before hand if the puppet can use his problem.
• Children act out positive examples. Only puppets act out negative.
Making and Keeping Friends
Making friends: Know the kids names (including middle and last names)
• Up and down is the name of the game.
Practice finding a role (Nelsen, et at., 2007).
Keeping friends: What can you say when you don’t want to
play? CSEFEL
Making and Keeping Friends
Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning
http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/
Mistaken Goals
Nelsen, J., Erwin, C., Duffy, R. A., (2007).
Positive Discipline for Preschoolers.
New York: Three Rivers Press.
Special Service
I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me.
AnnoyedIrritatedWorriedGuilty
We usually try:Doing things for the child that she could do herself, Reminding, Coaxing
The behavior stops temporarily but later resumes
The ABCs
Antecedent BehaviorAttention:Notice me!
Involve me!
In this situation… I do this… to get this need met!
Special Service
A: Avoid special service, plan special time.
Set up routines.
Set up a signal.
B: Problem solve with the child
C: Redirect with a useful task.
Ignore
Misguided Power
I’m important when I’m keeping you busy with me.
We usually respond by: Fighting, Giving in, Wanting to be right Thinking “you can’t get away with this”
The Child responds by:Intensifies behavior, Acts defiant
AnnoyedIrritatedWorriedGuilty
The ABCs of Misguided Power
Antecedent Behavior
Attention:Let me help!
Give me choices!
In this situation… I do this… to get this!
Misguided Power
A: Ask for help
Offer limited choices
Tell the child what you will do and do it.
Develop mutual respect.
B: Songs, books, social stories,
Conversations where you draw at the same time.
C: Be firm and kind at the same time
Let routines be the boss
Leave and calm down.
Revenge
Hurt
Disappointed
Disbelieving
Disgusted
I don’t feel like I belong, so I’ll hurt others. I can’t be liked here.
Revenge
We usually try:Retaliating, Getting even, Thinking “How could you do this to me?”
The Child:Retaliates/ Escalates Chooses another weapon
Hurt
Disappointed
Disbelieving
Disgusted
I don’t feel like I belong, so I’ll hurt others. I can’t be liked here.
The ABCs of Revenge
Antecedent Behavior
Attention:Express that I’m hurting.
In this situation… I do this… to get this!
Revenge
A: Build trust
Use active listening
Show you care, Encourage strengths
B: Songs, books, social stories, Conversations where you draw at the same time
C: Acknowledge hurt feelings
Avoid punishment and retaliation
Make amends
Act-don’t talk.
Assumed Inadequacy
Despair
Hopelessness
Helplessness
Inadequate
I’m helpless and unable. It’s not worth trying because I can’t do anything right.
Assumed Inadequacy
DespairHopelessnessHelplessnessInadequate
We usually try:Giving up, Doing for, Over helping
The Child:Retreats, Acts passiveNo improvement/ No response
I’m helpless and unable. It’s not worth trying because I can’t do anything right.
The ABCs of Assumed Inadequacy
Antecedent Behavior
Escape attention and tasks I could fail
In this situation… I do this… to get this!
Assumed Inadequacy
A: Stop all criticism
Encourage any positive attempt.
Show faith in child’s abilities
Enjoy the child. Build on his interests.
B: Teach/show how.
Break task down into small steps
C: Don’t give up
Encourage, encourage, encourage
Empathize
Work with family and team
List strengths and motivators
•To brainstorm rewards•To make our teaching tools kid-specific•To start meetings on a positive note
Recommended Reading
Unsmiling Faces, Lesley Koplow Positive Discipline, Jane Nelsen Unbias Curriculum, Louise Derman-Sparks Bully Proofing in Early Childhood, Kayla McCarnes, Karin I.
Nelson, Nancy W. Sager http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/
References Carr, E.,Dunlap, G., Horner, R., Koegel, R., Turnbull, A., Sailor, W., Anderson, J., Albin, R., Koegel, L., & Fox, L.
(2002). Positive Behavior Support: Evolution of an Applied Science. Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 4(1), 4-17.
Crone, D., & Horner, R. (2003). Building Positive Behavior Support Systems in Schools: Functional Behavioral Assessment. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
Derman-Sparks, L., (1989). Anti-bias Curriculum. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Gilliam, W. S. (2005). Prekindergarteners left behind: Expulsion rates in state prekindergarten systems. Retrieved March 12, 2007, from http://www.fcd_us.org/PDFs/NationalPreKExpulstionPaper03.02_new.pdf.
Gottman, J. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. New York: Simon and Schuster.
Koplow, L. (2007). Unsmiling Faces: How Preschools Can Heal. New York: Teacher’s College Press.
McCarnes, K., Nelson, K. I., Sager, N. W., (2005). Bully Proofing in Early Childhood,Building a Caring Community. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
Nelsen, J., Erwin, C., Duffy, R. A., (2007). Positive Discipline for Preschoolers. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Squires, J., & Bricker, D., (2006). Activity-based Approach to Developing Young Children's Social Emotional Competence. Baltimore: Brookes Publishing Company.
Stormont, M., Lewis, T., & Beckner, R. (2005). Positive Behavior Support Systems: Applying Key Features in Preschool Settings. Teaching Exceptional Children, 37(6), 42-49.
http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/, 2009