LOOKING THROUGH A GENDERED LENS
The family is the first, and most influential social structure through which individuals form gendered
identities. It is through the family that each member of society learns to conform to societal gender expectations and to communicate their
gender. Families are organized by distinctly gendered roles. In the same way that individuals create their own
identity through the performance of identity, so too does a society's communication of and about family create acceptable cultural ideas
regarding the structure of family. It is the collection of individual family units that make up the fabric of a society. In
this way, it can be said that "the state of the family is an indicator of the state of society. "(DeFrancisco and Palczewski p. 153)
The Family as a Social Institution
WHAT DO YOU IMAGINE WHEN
YOU THINK OF THE WORD
FAMILY?
A family is a group of people who live together as parents and children. There is one thing in common among then and that is they are members who share common goals. It is the basic unit in a society which together natures the future interests of the group.
Merriam-Webster contributed definition from Vincentt Makokha · Chaplain at Administration Police
fam·i·ly (fm-l, fml)
n. pl. fam·i·lies
1.a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.
b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.
2. All the members of a household under one roof.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/family
Definitions of FAMILY
Merriam-Webster:
The basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family <a single-parent family>
Medical Definition
HOW DO YOU DEFINE FAMILY?
FAMILY
The concept of the nuclear family emerged during the Industrial Revolution in the 1800's along with
traditional stereotypical ideas of masculinity and femininity. Although the nuclear family and its associated roles for males and females has never actually
been the predominant family structure for Americans, it has come to be perceived as the ideal; one for which all
should strive. In this model, the mother stays in the home and nurtures the family. The father is the head of the
household and the breadwinner. In reality, this idealized concept of the nuclear family has been attainable only for a small segment of the population.
Historically, very few family units have had the resources to allow a single wage earner to provide all of the
earnings while another adult stays home and assumes a caretaker's role. At the same time, developing
technology has added both money and time demands on families. Still, the concept of the nuclear family has become the assumed standard for all
American families. Anything outside of this structure is seen as an exception to the rule.
Honey, I'm home!
RECIPE FOR A NUCLEAR FAMILY
COMBINE TOGETHER:
TWO PARENTS - ONE MALE AND ONE FEMALE
CHILDREN - BIOLOGICAL, IDEALLY AT LEAST ONE MALE
ADD FOR GOOD MEASURE:
ONE DOG, ONE CAT, A HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS, AND A PICKET FENCE
WARNING: DON'T MIX TOO VIGOROUSLY. FOLD TOGETHER GENTLY TO KEEP FEMALES AND MALES IN THEIR PROPER ORDER!
A QUESTION POSED ON "YAHOO ANSWERS": DOES THIS DESCRIBE THE "IDEALIZED" VERSION OF A NUCLEAR FAMILY?
WHAT IS THE PICTURE PERFECT FAMILY?
BEST ANSWER - CHOSEN BY VOTERS
THE PICTURE PERFECT FAMILY IS THE ONE THAT PRETENDS TO BE PERFECT AND PRESENTS A SHALLOW IMAGE OF THEMSELVES AS BEING HAPPY AND SMILING WHEN IN REALITY THEY FIGHT CONSTANTLY AND AREN'T HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER. THE PICTURE PERFECT FAMILY IS ONE THAT IS PRESENTED FOR OTHERS TO SEE PUBLICLY, BUT PRIVATELY IT'S FAR FROM THE TRUTH.
THE NUCLEAR FAMILY
PERCEPTION VS. REALITY
C AN A NON-TRADITIONAL FAMILY BE A HAPPY FAMILY?
THE PERPETUATION OF THE IDEAL NUCLEAR MYTH LEADS TO A CULTURAL CONFLICT. EVEN THOUGH SUCH A FAMILY IS NOT
ATTAINABLE TO MOST MEMBERS OF SOCIETY, BEING PART OF ONE IS THOUGHT TO BE THE ONLY PATH TOWARD HAPPINESS.
Early TV families helped to define the traditional definition for an ideal nuclear family
TV FAMIL IES
LEAVE IT TO BEAVER 1957-1963
THE FLINTSTONES 1960-1966
TV FAMILIES INSTITUTIONALIZE IDEA OF NUCLEAR FAMILY AS BEING IDEAL......
HAPPY DAYS1974-1984
MODERN FAMILY2009-PRESENT
During the economic boom of the
1950's widespread availability of
television helped to institutionalize
the idea of the nuclear family.
Early television shows portrayed
ideal families in ideal
environments. The commercial
advertisements accompanying
those shows, further influenced
Americans to strive for this ideal.
Throughout the years there have
been many traditional families
portrayed on television. Modern
Family is one such show. It
features a traditional family with
Phil (working father), Claire (stay
at home mother), and three
children all living in a beautiful
suburban home. But Modern
Family is a truly modern television
show. Featured alongside Phil and
Claire's family are two other family
units: one with two gay fathers,
and another with a mixed race
couple. Hopefully, Modern Family
will help modern audiences
become more accepting of all
types of family structures.
TV FAMIL IES BROADEN OUR VIEW
EVEN THOUGH ELLEN WAS A WELL LOVED STAR, AMERICAN AUDIENCES IN 1997 COULD NOT SUPPORT THE IDEA OF A GAY LEADING LADY IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. HER SHOW WAS CANCELLED IN THE SEASON AFTER SHE CAME OUT. HOWEVER, ELLEN PAVED THE WAY FOR OTHER OPENLY GAY CHARACTERS. SHOWS SUCH AS WILL AND GRACE AND FRASIER (FEATURING GAY BROTHER, NILES) SERVED AS STEPPING STONES FOR BROADER LEVELS OF ACCEPTANCE. CURRENTLY, THE SHOW MODERN FAMILY, FEATURING A GAY COUPLE AND THEIR CHILDREN IS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR SITCOMS ON TV. IT RECEIVED AN EMMY AWARD IN 2012 FOR BEST TELEVISION SERIES, AND ERIC STONESTREET, WHO PLAYS CAM, A MELODRAMATIC GAY FATHER, HAS RECEIVED NOMINATIONS FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, THREE SEASONS IN A ROW.
ONE DAY AT A TIME 1975-1984
MODERN FAMILY2009-PRESENT
ELLEN1994-1997
NEW IDEAS...In the same way that original TV families served to institutionalize the notion of the ideal nuclear
family, modern TV families have helped (albeit slowly) to broaden our definitions of acceptable family units. The
Brady Bunch featured a blended family. One Day at a Time showed viewers a strong-
minded, divorced, single mother, head of household. The Cosby show highlighted a prominent
African American family with two highly educated wage earners.
COSBY1984-1992
THE BRADY BUNCH 1969-1974
Interlocking Social Institutions
The family unit is an integral part of other larger social institutions within the grater society. These relationships with other
institutions can perpetuate traditional definitions of family and gendered role expectations thus creating gendered scripts. These scripts lead to gendered
personality and behavioral expectations.
A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE KITCHEN!
REAL MEN DON'T EAT QUICHE
Modern ideas of gender roles and expectations do not always fit with traditional structures:Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. , renowned relationship expert and author of The
Mother Dance, writes that in order for parents to achieve true equality in both parenting and career roles, they should
share equally in parenting. She suggests that both parents take equal time off for child rearing and spend equal amounts of
time building their careers. While this concept sounds ideal, our social work structures don't support a system of two
parents being part time wage earners, as Ms. Lerner suggests. Part time work for either individual doesn't allow access to the health care benefits or wage increases
that all young families need. Current social institutions leave American families struggling to juggle work and child care. If
a family has the means to survive on a single income, one partner (often the woman) inevitably sacrifices career growth
and wage earning opportunities while the other (often the male) increases career opportunities and sacrifices parenting relationships. This imbalanced structure
perpetuates traditional gendered roles.
WHO WEARS THE PANTS?
AS WE GROW AND ADVANCE AS A CULTURE, WE CHALLENGE TRADITIONAL IDEAS OF GENDERED SCRIPTS. THIS CAN CREATE A BACKLASH THROUGH WHICH NEGATIVE GENDERED TERMS ARE CREATED. THE 1970'S BROUGHT: CRAZY WOMAN DRIVER AND MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
NEW YORK TIMES 1960
LOIS RABINOWITZ, A 28-YEAR-OLD SECRETARY APPEARS IN TRAFFIC COURT WEARING SLACKS. THE JUDGE SCOLDS HER, SAYING, "YOU'RE TOO ATTRACTIVE TO DRESS LIKE A MAN." MRS. RABINOWITZ, SAYS SHE FEELS FLATTERED AND ADMITS THAT THE JUDGE IS RIGHT.
HUFFINGTON POST
JULY 13 , 2013
IOWA CITY, IOWA -- THE IOWA SUPREME COURT ON FRIDAY STOOD BY ITS RULING THAT A DENTIST ACTED LEGALLY WHEN HE FIRED AN ASSISTANT BECAUSE HE FOUND HER TOO ATTRACTIVE AND WORRIED HE WOULD TRY TO START AN AFFAIR.
CURRENT INSTITUTIONAL SHIFT
Traditionally, hospitals restricted visitation rights "to a narrow interpretation of family that excludes
those not legally or biologically related to the patient. "(http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/sample-visitation-policies ) This definition does not fit all
family units and has resulted in painful experiences for those people who have been separated from their loved ones at
a time of great need. Public outcry has resulted in new interpretations of who an individual can regard as "family" while
undergoing medical care. The term Family Centered Care was developed to
allow patents more freedom of choice in designating family. At the Conley Clinic at The University of Maine, all
speech therapy is family centered. At this clinic, family is defined as "anyone who is important to the client. " At the Conley Clinic, the therapists know that
the communication impairments of an individual affect all members of a family. In order to provide effective therapy, it
needs to be inclusive. Hospitals too, are beginning to find that inclusive definitions of family result in better
healing for patients.
Concept of Family Centered Care helps to redefine the term "family"
FAMILY - A NEW DEFINITION
“Family” means any person(s) who plays a significant role in an individual’s life. This may include a person(s) not legally related to the individual. Members of “family” include spouses, domestic partners, and both different-sex and same-sex significant others. (http://en.wikipedia.org/Family_centered_care)
The Function of the Family:The family serves to teach and maintain cultural norms - including gender norms and rules. Parents teach their children,
through modeling, interacting, and the placement of expectations.
CHILDREN ACQUIRE A GENDER IDENTITY BETWEEN AGES 2 AND 3 (DEFRANCISCO AND PALCZEWSKI P. 164)
Modern Gender Conundrum:Since the 1970's with the onset of the Women's movement, expectations,
responsibilities, and opportunities have been expanding for women. Women are now more educated (making up more
than 50% of most college campuses) and their career opportunities are limitless. Women continue, though, to be
responsible for more household labor and childcare responsibilities than men. This leads women to feel as though they must "do it all."
Traditional ideas of masculinity, though, have limited opportunities for men to expand their roles. Women have "crossed
over" into realms traditionally reserved for men, but it has been less acceptable for men to enter traditional "boxes"
reserved for women, This may be because the idea of moving into a feminine role construes ideas of both giving up masculinity and giving up power. As a
result, men tend to be stuck in traditional roles and women feel burdened with the need to be "super woman."
Think About It:More and more names once reserved for boys are becoming female names. As soon as a name is construed as "feminine," it is
less acceptable as a boy's name: Kelly, Ashley, Brook, Courtney, Tracy, Jordan...
THE SUNSHINE FAMILY
FAMILIES TEACH GENDER AND ROLE EXPECTATIONS THROUGH THE TOYS THEY PROVIDE FOR THEIR CHILDREN. THE SUNSHINE FAMILY WAS MY FAVORITE TOY IN THE 1970'S. WHILE THE DOLLS DO NOT SEXUALIZE INDIVIDUALS, AS DO BARBIE DOLLS, THEY EXEMPLIFY THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY.
PERFUME AD 1980
CHRISTINA: I CAN PUT THE WASH ON THE LINE, FEED THE KIDS, GET DRESSED, PASS OUT THE KISSES AND GET TO WORK BY 5 TO 9.
'CAUSE I'M A WOMAN, ENJOLI!
(ANNOUNCER): CHARLES OF THE RITZ CREATES ENJOLI. THE NEW 8 HOUR PERFUME FOR THE 24 HOUR WOMAN.
CHRISTINA: I CAN BRING HOME THE BACON!
CHORUS: ENJOLI.
CHRISTINA: FRY IT UP IN A PAN!
CHORUS: ENJOLI.
CHRISTINA: AND NEVER, NEVER, NEVER LET YOU FORGET YOU'RE A MAN!
'CAUSE I'M A WOMAN!
CHORUS: ENJOLI!
HTTP://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/
IS ANDROGYNY INCLUDED IN THE DEFINITION OF FAMILY ?
Heteronormativity refers to the assumption that everyone is heterosexual and wants to be married.
In the US, heternormativity remains the predominant cultural expectation. Our language and society require that anything outside of a heterosexual
relationship must be explained. We do not have neutral words to explain a different type of relationship. Children
are socialized from the very beginning to want to date and be married. Despite social crises with mounting
levels of debt, the traditional white wedding, costing many thousands of dollars, is considered to be a peak experience in an individual's life.
Modern couples include engagement photos in their "wedding dossiers" that are more romanticized than at any
other time in history. Modern ad campaigns dictate acceptable dating partners and acceptable grooming
behaviors. The heterosexual romantic bond is maintained as the only way that men and women can connect (DeFrancisco and Palczewski p. 165). In
our culture, platonic adult same sex friendships are given less value than heterosexual romantic relationships.
Media representations of dating couples tend to be romanticized, often portraying what would be considered
stalking in real life (DeFrancisco and Palczewski p. 166). Couples are still looking for the fairy tale "happy ending." The only problem with this is
that the so, called happy ending means "getting the girl" and far too often that means "possessing" her.
The Formation of Family: Friendships and Dating Relationships
IDEALS:
ENGAGEMENT PHOTO
FAIRY TALE WEDDINGS
KRAFT ZESTY MAN
SCHICK QUATTRO AD FOR FEMALE GROOMING
SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE DATING PARTNERS?
One of the most fiercely fought cultural battles in recent times has been the political wars waged in every state regarding marriage rights for same sex couples. Each state
has had to make a decision about whether the word marriage pertains to a man and a woman, thus legitimizing only those types of unions, or if same sex couples can also claim
ownership of legal marriage, thus legally legitimizing other types of marriages and their resulting families. In
November, Maine became the 13th state to legally allow same-sex marriage. In June, the Supreme Court made two important decisions regarding the institution of marriage
when it declared the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional and also granted federal benefits to same sex couples whose states allow same sex marriage. These legal actions will allow us as a culture to rapidly expand our
ideas about marriage.
A POLITICAL YEAR FOR MARRIAGE
THE AD ON THE LEFT, FOR A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE, USES A TRADITIONAL FAMILY IMAGE TO PERPETUATE THE IDEA THAT THE NUCLEAR FAMILY IS THE ONLY WAY TO BE A FAMILY.
SKIING IN WHISTLER ELSIE’S BIRTHDAY CAMPING IN OREGON
WHAT IS A PROPER MARRIAGE?
WHO BENEFITS FROM MARRIAGE?
DURING THE TIME THAT THE IDEA OF THE NUCLEAR FAMILY BECAME INSTITUTIONALIZED, THERE WAS A POTENTIAL BENEFIT FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN IN SUCH FAMILY STRUCTURES. WOMEN NEEDED MEN TO BE WAGE EARNERS. MEN NEEDED WOMEN TO BE THE NURTURERS AND TO TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY HOME. NOW THAT WOMEN HAVE MORE EQUAL ACCESS TO EDUCATION AND EARNING POTENTIAL, THERE MAY BE AN IMBALANCE OF BENEFIT IN THE TRADITIONAL NUCLEAR FAMILY STRUCTURE; WOMEN DON'T
NEED TO BE MARRIED IN ORDER TO CHOOSE TO HAVE CHILDREN OR TO BE FINANCIALLY STABLE. THE DECISION TO MARRY IS BASED LESS ON NEED AND MORE ON FEELINGS OF LOVE. PERHAPS THIS CHANGE IN RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC WILL IMPACT THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE IN THE UNITED STATES?
ADVICE FOR A MODERN MAN?
Example of modern gender scripted advice found on the internet:
Whipped to a pulp:from: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/36_dating_advice.html
"Some men will do anything for their
women. Unfortunately, women will see this as a sign of weakness. And then before a man knows it, his woman will be wearing
the pants in the relationship.
Jimmy is an example (albeit an extreme example) of what can happen to most men who let their women make the rules.
Unfortunately for Jimmy, there is not much he can do -- he's whipped. Yes, we've all heard it. The dreaded seven letter word
whipped . And believe it or not, if you're not careful with how you behave with your love, you too might be the next man
who's cat-whipped to a pulp.
When it comes to relationships, the ideal situation involves communication and equal partaking in both the decision-
making and responsibilities. But this is not the case with most couples. In general, it is usually one spouse who ultimately takes
control.
This is why I highly recommend that you wear the pants before your wife does.
Otherwise, before you know it, you'll be wearing a skirt around the house while dusting the furniture.
I believe that it is the man's fine duty to
control the decision-making process of all family related decisions -- or at least pretend he does. Why? Because like it or
not, it is probably the only thing left in life that we men can still lay claim to. Once you lose it, you no longer have anything to
look forward to."
GENDER SCRIPTS
WOMEN TAKE PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY FOR RELATIONSHIP MAINTENANCE
WOMEN SHOW AFFECTION BY TALKING. MEN SHOW AFFECTION BY DOING
SOME (POTENTIALLY GENDER BIASED) RESEARCH CLAIMS THAT MEN ARE NOT GOOD LISTENERS AND CANNOT DO OR VALUE TALK AS MUCH AS WOMEN DO ( TEXT P. 167)
THE SURRENDERED WIFE
"THIS CONTROVERSIAL APPROACH TO MARRIAGE HAS TRANSFORMED THOUSANDS OF RELATIONSHIPS, BRINGING WOMEN ROMANCE, HARMONY, AND THE INTIMACY THEY CRAVE.
LIKE MILLIONS OF WOMEN, LAURA DOYLE WANTED HER MARRIAGE TO BE BETTER. BUT WHEN SHE TRIED TO GET HER HUSBAND TO BE MORE ROMANTIC, HELPFUL, AND AMBITIOUS, HE WITHDREW -- AND SHE WAS LONELY AND EXHAUSTED FROM CONTROLLING EVERYTHING. DESPERATE TO BE IN LOVE WITH HER MAN AGAIN, SHE DECIDED TO STOP TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT.
WHEN DOYLE SURRENDERED CONTROL, SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENED. THE UNION SHE HAD ALWAYS DREAMED OF APPEARED. THE MAN WHO HAD WOOED HER WAS BACK.
COMPASSIONATE AND PRACTICAL, THE SURRENDERED WIFE IS A STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE THAT TEACHES WOMEN HOW TO:
• GIVE UP UNNECESSARY CONTROL AND RESPONSIBILITY
• RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO CRITICIZE, BELITTLE, OR DISMISS THEIR HUSBANDS
• TRUST THEIR HUSBANDS IN EVERY ASPECT OF MARRIAGE -- FROM SEXUAL TO FINANCIAL" WWW.AMAZON.COM
GENDER SCRIPTED MARITAL
COMMUNIC ATION
Traditional Power Structures Can Lead to Domestic Violence
In traditional views of male and female relationships, the power is given to the male. Males are biologically stronger than females and traditionally use their strength to exert their power while women use communication. The institutionalized model of the nuclear family gives the power in a relationship to the male. In some cases, a power imbalance can lead to physical violence.
"Those with power never willingly concede their control."
-- Elizabeth LesserBroken Open
Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
TOYS FOR BOYS
The Toy Industry Targets Stereotypes of Male Strength and Female Weakness
Words taken from television toy advertisements marketing to boys aged six to eight show that toy makers capitalize on stereotypical boy behaviors and interests. Boy toys tend to feature action or aggression.
Word collage created by:http://www.achilleseffect.com/2011/03/word-cloud-how-toy-ad-vocabulary-reinforces-gender-stereotypes/
In her book, The Achilles Effect, Crystal Smith discusses the affect of gender stereotyping on boys. Her project using words taken from toy advertisements marketing to boys and girls paints a striking picture. In this project, the font size of each word reflects the number of times the word was used in television advertisements. For boys, the most used word was BATTLE. For girls, the most highly used word was LOVE.
"The Achilles Effect explores gender bias in the entertainment aimed at primary school boys, focusing on the dominant themes in children’s TV shows, toy advertising, movies, and books: gender stereotypes of both sexes, male dominance, negative portrayals of fathers, breaking of the mother/son bond, and the devaluing of femininity. It examines the gender messages sent by pop culture, provides strategies for countering these messages, and encourages discussion of a vitally important issue that is rarely talked about—the impact of gender stereotypes on boys."
http://www.achilleseffect.com
Domestic Violence in the Media Escalates over the Decades:
THEN: SUNDAY MORNING FUNNIES DEPICT PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IN 1957
NOW: POPULAR MUSIC IN 2013 DEPICTS PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Song discovered on my 15 year-old nephew's iPhone.
Want to make it your ringtone?
IS THE NUCLEAR FAMILY SUCH AN IDEAL IDEA?
THIS EXAMINATION OF THE GENDERED IDENTITIES WITHIN THE IDEALIZED VERSION OF THE SOCIAL INSTITUTION OF THE NUCLEAR FAMILY BEGS US TO ASK SOME QUESTIONS:
Is this structure... ideal? normal? secure? romantic? safe? equitable?
IN THE IDEAL GAME OF LIFE, YOU GET TO CHOOSE.
FOR MANY YEARS, AMERICAN CULTURE HAS BEEN STUCK IN A FOCUS ON THE IDEALIZED VERSION OF THE NUCLEAR FAMILY. THIS SOCIAL INSTITUTION HAS GENDER-DESIGNATED ROLES FOR EACH FAMILY MEMBER. MEDIA AND INTERLOCKING SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS HAVE SERVED TO MAINTAIN THIS TRADITIONAL VIEW OF THE FAMILY. WHILE THIS FAMILY STRUCTURE MAY HAVE BEEN IDEALIZED IT MAY NOT BE IDEAL. IT IS NOT ACHIEVABLE FOR MOST AMERICAN FAMILIES, AND WORSE, THE TRADITIONAL STRUCTURE PERPETUATES "SEXED IDENTITIES OF DIFFERENCE AND INEQUALITY" (DEFRANCISCO AND PALCZEWSK P. 174) THAT MAY EVEN CONTRIBUTE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
FROM MY VANTAGE POINT, HOWEVER, MUCH IS CHANGING. THERE IS GREATER AWARENESS AND ACCEPTANCE OF MANY MORE TYPES OF DATING RELATIONSHIPS AND FAMILY UNIONS. RECENTLY I PLAYED THE GAME OF LIFE WITH MY TWO NIECES, AGES SIX AND EIGHT. AINE, THE EIGHT-YEAR-OLD WAS IN CHARGE OF PASSING OUT CARS AND PEOPLE. EVERY TIME A PLAYER GOT MARRIED, SHE WOULD ASK, "DO YOU WANT TO MARRY A BOY OR A GIRL?" AINE HERSELF HAD TWO CARS, ONE WITH A "GIRL AND A BOY" AND ONE WITH "TWO GIRLS." MAEVE CHOSE A CAR WITH TWO BOYS AND A GIRL-BOY CAR.
THESE TWO YOUNG GIRLS ALREADY KNOW THAT THEY HAVE A CHOICE. ISN'T THAT THE WAY LIFE SHOULD REALLY BE?!