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Supe Up Your Supervisor Skills
Training and Development for theFrontlines Hidden Heroes
PART 3:VALUES/CONFLICTS
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Perception: What Do You See?
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Values: Yours and Mine
Use of time
Policies
Age
Gender
Friends
Health
Love
Money
Differences between our values and thoseof others can be a source of conflict. Areasfor values clarification include:
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Defining What You Value
1. It must be prized and cherished
2. It must be chosen from among alternatives
3. It must be chosen freely, without coercion
4. It must be chose after thoughtfulconsiderations of the consequences
5. I/We must be willing to publicly affirm it
6. We must act on it repeatedly
7. It must be consistent with other values weprofess
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Example: Values Conflict
Employer wantsemployee to work
overtime a lot,
even at short
notice
Family comes first;
employee does not
want to work extra
hours
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A
ssertiven
ess
CooperationLow
High
Denial/Avoiding
Power/Competing
Compromising
Negotiation/
Collaborating
Accommodating
5 Conflict Handling Styles
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Conflict Handling Style:
Compromising What Happens:
Negotiation with give and take of each party
Solution is somewhere in the middle
Appropriate to Use When:
Individuals are committed to the process
Willing to give enough to make solution work
Confidence that a solution can be reached
Inappropriate to Use When:
Individuals not willing to give in a little Original positions are too far from the middle
Parties dont believe in negotiating
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Conflict Handling Style:
Denial/Avoiding
What Happens: Nothing is said; no effort to talk Unsure of what to do Fearful of what might happen
No commitment to improve the relationship Appropriate to Use When:
Issue is not very important Emotions too strong or timing not right Need to gather more information
Inappropriate to Use When: Issue is really important Not resolving will escalate and make it worse,
or more difficult to resolve later on
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Conflict Handling Style:Accommodating
What Happens: Suppress or smooth over conflict Downplays differences Emotions are controlled Goals are unclear
Appropriate to Use When: Issue is not very important Timing is not right Relationship is more important, as long as
both parties take turns
Inappropriate to Use When: Issue is important Others are willing to work towards resolution Minimizing problem will escalate the issue
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Conflict Handling Style:
Power/Competing
What Happens:
Relies on authority that comes from onesposition
Appropriate to Use When:
Individuals unable to settle themselves
Speed is of the essence
Inappropriate to Use When:
When those in conflict have no opportunity to
express their needs or fulfill their self-interest Parties may not be committed to act on adictated solution
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Conflict Handling Style:
Negotiation/ Collaborating What Happens:
Reach consensus Usually a creative solution that makes everyone happy Emphasis is on finding solution to the problem by talking at
length until one is found that each person can accept
Appropriate to Use When: Everyone committed to process Know and follow guidelines and time to devote Healthy desire to work together
Inappropriate to Use When: No commitment or training in the process
Not enough time to see process through Highly competitive people would have a difficult time to use
this method
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Case Studies-Conflict Styles
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Feedback Model
CARE Feedback
Clearly describe behavior
Address reactions to behavior
Realistic expectations shared
Expected result identified
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Example Using CARE Model:Let someone know how helpful theyve been
meeting a difficult deadline.
Clearly describe behavior
Ingrid, Im very grateful for the extra time you put inlast week to finish coding the statements for ourproject.
Address reactions to the behavior
You not only saved everyone time and preventedconfusion, your methodical approach is also easy foreveryone to grasp
Realisticexpectations shared
I know I can count on you in the future.
Expected results
Ill keep my eyes open for other opportunities for you toshine!
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Example Using CARE Model:Let Josh know he missed an opportunity to win
over an upset customer.
Clearly describe behavior
Josh, Id like to share a way you can handle an angry customerby paraphrasing what he said right at the beginning of the call.
Address reactions to the behavior
This will let your customer know youve heard his concern andcare about him
Realistic expectations shared
You could say something like, Mr. Jones, I can appreciate howupset you are about xxx not arriving on time.
Expected results
Ill e-mail you several words to use when paraphrasing. Trythem during your calls today, and Ill check back with youtomorrow to see how its going.
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Practice Example: Worksheet
Use the CARE Model to let someone know they used the wrongscreens in the system, and gave out inaccurate info.
Clearly describe behavior
Address reactions to the behavior
Realistic expectations shared
Expected results
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Practice: Possible Answer
Clearly describe behaviorI just observed your last call and Id like to give you thecorrect process to follow for shipping xyz product.
Address reactions to the behaviorYouve put the customer address in the wrong screen, soshipping will not have the correct information, and thecustomer will be upset when they dont receive xyz.
Realistic expectations sharedLet me show you now the process and well correct theinformation from your last call, and show you in theknowledge base where to check the process the nexttime.
Expected resultsPlease print out the process from the knowledge base,and go through your other records to be sure youve putin the information correctly. Gretchen on your team canhelp you immediately if you run into any problems.
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Guidelines for Managing Conflict
Separate Individuals from Position Taken
The point being made here is.
Focus on Interest, Not Position
So what you really would like to see happen is Create Options for Mutual Gain
What if you did x and I did y,. That would work forme. Would it work for you, too?
Agree When There is a Win
So, then, we are all comfortable with the solution,right?
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Self-Mediation Technique*
Find a Time to Talk
Plan the Context
Talk it Out
Make a Deal
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Find a Time to Talk
Ask
When can wemeet to discussour opinions?
Identifyspecifically whatyou want to talkabout
Respectfullyrequest time
Jo, do you have a minute to
talk about our earl ier
conversation about the work I
did for the team? Imuncomfortable with not
understanding what you found
unacceptable. Are you wil l ing
to meet to talk about this so we
can reach an agreement for
future work?
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Plan the Context
Open with an expressionof appreciation andoptimism
Agree on cardinal rules No interruptions
Agree on stop time
No power or force for
one sided solution State issue
I appreciate your
willingness to meet
with me to talk thisout. Im hopeful well
have a solution that
will benefit both of
us. Please tell me
how you see the work
I did wasnt
complete.
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Talk It Out
Restate to clarify whatyou heard from theother person
Ask Questions toClarify
Non-judgmental tone
Check in for accuracy?
What I hear you
say is that youre
concerned I didntinclude opinions
of our part time
staff in the survey.
Is that correct?
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Make a Deal
Possible Alternatives
What I will do
What you will do
Okay, so Ill repeat the
survey for the part time staff.
You will get me a list of theirnames, including third shift,
by tomorrow. Ill share the
results at our next results
meeting on the 25th.
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Expressing Feelings and Listening
Express Feelings with IMessages:
I feel
I am upset by
I do not like itwhen
Express What You Want
I want you to
I wish you would
Express Appreciation of
I appreciate yourposition
I imagine you feel
Express What HeardBefore Respond
I understand.
I heard you say
Express what will do.. I can
I will
I plan to.
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The Defensive Reaction
Defensiveness Often OccursWhen:
1. Person feels evaluated vs
2. The persons attitude isindifference vs
3. The other person acts superior vs
4. You feel like theres a strategy vs
5. The other person has control overyou and your life vs
6. No trust exists! vs
Defensiveness is LESS LIKELY toOccur When:
1. A persons behavior is describedwithout judgment or evaluation
2. The persons attitude is empathetic
3. The other person appears to be equalto you
4. Information is available and freeflowing
5. People want to work together toresolve the conflict
6. Trust is demonstrated