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Quiz #1Description WritingPrewrite & Plan
FragmentsRun-onsSentence VarietyEnglish 100BC
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Answer the following on a separatesheet of paperGroup 1
What is description?
Why record sense impressions in words?
Group 2
How do objective and subjective description differ?
What do you include or exclude from a description?
Group 3
How do you describe an object or a place?
How do you describe a person?
Group 4
How do you organize a description?
How do you revise a description?
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Writing Description
What is description?
records and re-creates senseimpressions by translating them intowords
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Writing DescriptionWhy record sense impressions in words?
descriptions in words should never attempt tocapture a photographic reality
writer evokes feelings, senses, memories andemotions
writer of description records what was seen
as important in the scene two distinct advantages of translating sense
impressions into words
isolates most important aspects of theexperience, ruling out anything else thatmight distract a reader’s attention
translating into words makes experiencesmore permanent (sensory impressions decayin seconds)
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Writing Description
How do objective and subjective
description differ?
objective
record details without making any personal
evaluation or reaction few descriptions outside of science or
technical writing achieve entirely
subjective
free to interpret details for reader
uses figurative language
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Writing Description
What do you include or exclude from a
description?
cannot record every detail about a person,object, place, or landscape
Answer - what am I trying to describe andwhy?
remain focused on purpose
- solely to record facts
- evoke an atmosphere
- support subjective purposes
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Writing
How do you describe and object or a place?
be fresh and perceptive
keep details and arrangement relevant and
purposeful
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Writing
How do you describe a person?
avoid excessive descriptions of physicalattributes
decide what it is about the person that isworth describing
character best revealed through actions,speech, and what character considersimportant
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Writing
How do you organize a description?
spatial (description moves as a camera would)- front to back
- side to side
- outside to inside
- top to bottom
- general to specific
order of importance
- Most important to least
- Least important to most
chronological order
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Revising
How do you revise a description?
use precise, vivid nouns and verbs
- avoid using too many adjectives and adverbs
use figurative language sparingly
- point of description is not to displaycleverness as a writer
- avoid clichés
keep focused- don’t attempt to describe everything aboutperson, scene, object
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Sensory List
Sight Sound Smell Touch Taste
1. Black 1. Thingscrashing
1. Litter 1. Soft 1.
2.0Yelloweyes
2. Cooing 2. Garbage 2. Sticky 2.
3. Cobwebs 3. Purring 3. Dryer
sheets
3. Wiry 3.
4. Dandruff 4. Scratching 4. Tuna 4. Dirty 4.
5. Feathers 5. Whining 5. Grass 5. Grainy(he’s alicker)
5.
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Answer the questions
What are you trying to describe and why?
I am trying to describe my cat Niles because he is quiteeccentric.
What is the most vivid and important to you about this
topic?
The most important and vivid aspect about Niles is hisability to break and enter into just about anything.
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Writing a topic sentence
What is most vivid and important to meabout this topic is...
Topic – A vandalized car
Statement – The vandalized car onthe side of the highway was battered.
Descriptive topic sentence – The shellof a car on the side of the road wasdented all over, apparently from a bator club, and surrounded by brokenglass.
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Planning
I. Topic Sentence (gives main impression)
II. Body
A. First example to support main impression
1. detail to create picture of first example
2. detail to create picture of first example
B. Second example to support main impression
1. detail to create picture of second example
2. detail to create picture of second example
B. Third example to support main impression
1. detail to create picture of third example
2. detail to create picture of third example
III. Concluding Sentence (reminds readers of main impression
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Eng 100BCFragments
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Fragments
A sentence is a group of words that has three
elements:
Subject
Verb
And a Complete thought
A fragment seems to be a complete sentence butit lacks either a
Subject
Verb
Or a complete thought.
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Fragments
What are the two basic ways to correct sentencefragments?
Add what is missing (subject, verb, or both)
Attach fragment to sentence before or after it
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Fragments
What are the five trouble spots that signalpossible fragments?
A word group that begins with a(n)
Preposition
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Spotting Fragments
A word group that begins with a preposition
I pounded as hard as I could. Against thedoor.
*correct by joining*
I pounded as hard as I could against the door.
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Spotting Fragments
What are the five trouble spots that signalpossible fragments?
A word group that begins with a(n)
Preposition
Dependent word
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Spotting Fragments
A word group that begins with a dependent word
Since I moved. I have eaten out every day.
Common Dependent words: after, although, as/as
if/ as though, because, before, how, once,since, that, unless, while, until, etc.
*Correct by joining*
Since moving, I have eaten out every day.
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Spotting Fragments
What are the five trouble spots that signalpossible fragments?
A word group that begins with a(n)
Preposition
Dependent word
“-ing” verb form
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Spotting Fragments
A word group that begins with an “-ing” form verb
I ran as fast as I could. Hoping to get there on time.
*Correct by joining*I was running as fast as I could, hoping to get there on
time.
*correct by adding missing elements*
I was running as fast as I could. I was still hoping to getthere on time.
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Spotting Fragments
What are the five trouble spots that signalpossible fragments?
A word group that begins with a(n)
Preposition
Dependent word
“-ing” verb form
“to” and a verb
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Spotting Fragments
A word group that begins with “to” and a verb
Cheri got underneath the car. To change the oil.
*correct by joining*
Cheri got underneath the car to change the oil.
To change the oil, Cheri got underneath the car.
*correct by adding elements*
Cheri got underneath the car. She needed to changethe oil.
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Spotting Fragments
What are the five trouble spots that signalpossible fragments?
A word group that begins with a(n)
Preposition
Dependent word
“-ing” verb form
“to” and a verb
an example or explanation
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Spotting Fragments
Word groups that are examples or explanations
Freecycle.com recycles usable items. Such asclothing.
*correct by joining*
Freecycle.com recycles usable items such asclothing.
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Ex. 3.1 Sentence Fragments
1. There are older and more valuablemanuscripts. Than the Voynich.
There are older and more valuable manuscriptsthan the Voynich.
2. However, there is none more mysterious. TheVoynich still puzzling scholars many yearsafter its discovery.
However, there is none more mysterious. The
Voynich is still puzzling scholars many yearsafter its discovery.
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Ex. 3.1 Sentence Fragments
3. This manuscript was written in a code. So farunable to solve it.
This manuscript was written in a code. So far noone has been able to solve it.
4. Because the origins of the manuscript areunclear; the puzzle is doubly difficult.
Because the origins of the manuscript areunclear, the puzzle is doubly difficult.
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Ex. 3.1 Sentence Fragments
7. Handwriting specialists can only guess at its
age. It may date back to the Middle Ages.
correct
8. The writing does not resemble. Any letters
that can be traced to a known alphabet.The writing does not resemble any letters that
can be traced to a known alphabet.
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Ex. 3.1 Sentence Fragments
9. The manuscript which contains manybeautiful illustrations. Of plants, people, andother seemingly unrelated images.
The manuscript contains many beautifulillustrations. It depicts plants, people, andother seemingly unrelated images.
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Ex. 3.1 Sentence Fragments
10. Because the Voynich manuscript is such an
intriguing mystery. That some scholars mightactually be disappointed to learn all of itssecrets.
The Voynich manuscript is such an intriguing
mystery that some scholars might actually bedisappointed to learn all of its secrets.
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Eng 100
Run-onsStudents will be able toIndentify and correct run-on
sentences.
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Run-Ons
1. What’s another name for a sentence?
Independent clause
2. What term describes two completesentences joined without any punctuation?
Fused sentence
All of us went to the movies Jack and Joan didnot stay long.
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Run-Ons
4. What are the five ways to correct run-ons?Add a period
All of us went to the movies. Jack and Joan didnot stay long.
Add a semicolon
All of us went to the movies; Jack and Joan didnot stay long.
Add a semicolon, a conjunctive adverb, and acomma
All of us went to the movies; however, Jackand Joan did not stay long.
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Run-Ons
4. What are the five ways to correct run-ons?
Add a comma and a coordinating conjunction
All of us went to the movies, but Jack and Joan
did not stay long.Add a dependent word
Although all of us went to the movies, Jack andJoan did not stay long.
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Ex. 4.1 Run-On Sentences
1. Mae West began as a child star the career of“Baby Mae” took off when she performed at alocal Brooklyn theater’s amateur night.
Mae West began as a child star. The career of
“Baby Mae” took off when she performed at alocal Brooklyn theater’s amateur night.
2. At the age of nineteen, West beganperforming on Broadway she shocked
audiences in 1911.
At the age of nineteen, West began performingon Broadway; she shocked audiences in 1911.
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Ex. 4.1 Run-On Sentences
3. The voluptuous West became known for hersuggestive clothing, even more famous wereher suggestive wisecracks.
The voluptuous West became known for hersuggestive clothing and even more famous for
her suggestive wisecracks.4. Attending black jazz clubs had introduced her
to a new dance movement she performed this“shimmy” on Broadway, and it became a
trademark for her.Attending black jazz clubs had introduced her to
a new dance movement. She performed this“shimmy” on Broadway, and it became a
trademark for her.
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Ex. 4.1 Run-On Sentences
5. West was not satisfied for long with thetheatrical roles she was offered writing herown plays was one way to find good parts.
West was not satisfied for long with the
theatrical roles she was offered; writing herown plays was one way to find good parts.
6. In 1925, she wrote a play called Sex , noproducer she contacted would bring it to the
stage.In 1925, she wrote a play called Sex , but no
producer she contacted would bring it to thestage.
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Ex. 4.1 Run-On Sentences
7. The following year, West produced the play
herself, advertisements for Sex were banned.The following year, when West produced the
play herself, advertisements for Sex werebanned.
8. Nevertheless, the show played for ninemonths until it was closed down by the Societyfor the Suppression of Vice, West was arrestedand spent eight days in jail.
Nevertheless, the show played for nine monthsuntil it was closed down by the Society for theSuppression of Vice. West was arrested andspent eight days in jail.
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Ex. 4.1 Run-On Sentences
9. In the 1930s and 1940s, Mae West took her naughtyhumor to Hollywood, while there she made a series ofhit films and often wrote her own screenplays.
In the 1930s and 1940s, Mae West took her naughty
humor to Hollywood. While there she made a series ofhit films and often wrote her own screenplays.
10. West made her final films in the 1970s by that time,Americans found her less scandalous, but her name wasstill a household word.
West made her final films in the 1970s. By that timeAmericans found her less scandalous, but her name wasstill a household word.
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Sentence Variety
P idi S t V i t
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Providing Sentence Variety
Use a variety of sentence structures
Move adverbial modifiers A few drops of sap eventually began
to trickle into the bucket.
Eventually a few drops of sap beganto trickle into the bucket.
Move adjectives and participial phrases
Edward, dejected and withdrawn,nearly gave up his search for a job.
Dejected and withdrawn, Edward
nearly gave up his search for a job.
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Providing Sentence Variety
Use a variety of sentence structures
Simple - A sentence with one independent clause and nodependent clauses
My aunt enjoys eating cake.
Compound - A sentence with multiple independent clauses but nodependent clauses.
The clown frightened the little girl, and she ran off screaming.
Complex - A sentence with one independent clause and at leastone dependent clause.
After Mary added up all the sales, she discovered that the
lemonade stand was 32 cents short.
Compound-complex - A sentence with multiple independentclauses and at least one dependent clause.
Although I like to go camping, I haven't had the time to golately, and I haven't found anyone to go with.
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Providing Sentence Variety
Try inverting sentence occasionally
A refrigerated case of mouthwatering cheeses isopposite the produce section; a friendly attendant willcut off just the amount you want.
Opposite the produce section is a refrigerated case ofmouthwatering cheeses; a friendly attendant will cut off
just the amount you want.
Huge lavender hearts outlined in bright white lights
were set at the top two corners of the stage. Set at the top two corners of the stage were huge
lavender hearts outlined in bright white lights.
For next week
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For next week...
Rough draft of either narrative ORdescription
(suggested) Sentence outlines of narrative &description
Read chapter about compare/contrastRead in glossary definitions of conclusion
and introductions