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MeredithRayner,PhDBallaratandQueen’sAnglicanGrammarSchool
LouiseL.Hayes,PhDTheUniversityofMelbourne,CentreforYouthMentalHealth&Orygen-TheNational
CentreforExcellenceinYouthMentalHealth
JosephCiarrochi,PhDInstituteofPositivePsychologyandEducation,AustralianCatholicUniversity
2017
WriteyourownDNA
Agroupprogramtohelpyoungpeoplelivewithvitalityandstrength
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Acknowledgements&Copyright
ThisprogramusestheDNA-vmodelforyouthdevelopmentfromtheresourceTheThrivingAdolescentbyLouiseHayesandJosephCiarrochi.
Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2015).Thethrivingadolescent:Usingacceptanceandcommitment
therapyandpositivepsychologytohelpteensmanageemotions,achievegoalsandbuildconnection.OaklandCA;NewHarbinger
DNA-viscopyrighted.Itcannotbeusedinaproprietarywaywithoutpermissionfromtheauthors.
Thisprotocolcanbeusedfreely.Itmaynotbereproduced,soldorusedinaproprietarywaywithoutpermission.
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SESSIONOUTLINE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS©RIGHT...........................................................................................................2
ABOUTTHEPROGRAM..................................................................................................................................4
RECOMMENDEDREADINGS.......................................................................................................................................5
SESSION1–WHAT’STHISPROGRAMABOUT................................................................................................6
BEINGYOURSELF.....................................................................................................................................................7USINGSOCIALDNA-VTOFORMTHEGROUP................................................................................................................8THECHALLENGEOFCHOOSING..................................................................................................................................8USINGSOCIALDNA-VFORGROUPFORMATIONPART2...............................................................................................11
SESSION2-THENOTICER............................................................................................................................13
STEP1-NORMALISINGTHENOTICER.......................................................................................................................13STEP2-PRACTICEATAWARENESS,NAMINGANDDESCRIBINGNOTICERSENSATIONS..........................................................15STEP3-ALLOWORRESPONDTONOTICERSIGNALS.....................................................................................................16
SESSION3–THEADVISER............................................................................................................................20
STEP1INTRODUCINGTHENORMALITYOFTHEADVISOR................................................................................................21STEP2APPRECIATETHEHELPFULNESSOFOURADVISOR...............................................................................................22STEP3GAMESTOUNHOOKFROMTHEADVISOR.........................................................................................................24STEP4CREATEHELPFULRULESONTHEUSEOFTHEADVISOR.........................................................................................26
SESSION4-DISCOVERER............................................................................................................................30
WHATISADOLESCENCEFOR?..................................................................................................................................31MEETYOURDISCOVERER........................................................................................................................................31BUILDINGSTRENGTHS............................................................................................................................................33TRYIT,TRACKIT,BUILDIT.......................................................................................................................................34DNA-VINACTION.................................................................................................................................................35
SESSION5-VALUES.....................................................................................................................................39
SMALLTHINGSMATTER..........................................................................................................................................39INTRODUCEVALUES..............................................................................................................................................40STRENGTHSFORVALUEISSUCCESS...........................................................................................................................41
SESSION6–SELF-VIEWANDTHESIXWAYSOFWELLBEING.........................................................................46
WHOAREYOU?...................................................................................................................................................46MAKINGOURSELF................................................................................................................................................486WAYSTOWELLBEING...........................................................................................................................................49SOCIALDNA-V.....................................................................................................................................................50CLOSURE.............................................................................................................................................................51
REFERENCES................................................................................................................................................52
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Abouttheprogram
Thisisagroupprotocolthatcanbeusedforgroupsofadolescentsinschools,communitysettings,orgrouptherapyprograms.
TheaimofthisgroupprogramistousetheDNA-vprogramtohelpyoungpeopledeveloppsychologicalflexibility,whichistheabilitytodowhattheycareabouteveniftheyhavedifficultthoughtsandfeelings.
FacilitatorsneedasoundunderstandingofDNA-v,shouldbefamiliarwithworkingwithadolescents,andhaveexperienceingroupfacilitation.Forfurthertrainingandreadingseewww.thrivingadolescent.com.ItisrecommendedthatfacilitatorsreadtheliteratureonDNA-vandperhapsattendeitherfacetofaceoronlinetraining(seewww.thrivingadolescent.comorwww.louisehayes.com.au).
ItalsohelpstobefamiliarwiththeliteratureandtheAssociationforContextualBehavioralScience(www.contextualpsychology.org).
©DNA-V(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.C)
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Recommendedreadings
Books-
Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2015).Thethrivingadolescent:Usingacceptanceandcommitmenttherapyandpositivepsychologytohelpteensmanageemotions,achievegoalsandbuildconnection.OaklandCA;NewHarbinger
Ciarrochi,J.Hayes,L.&Bailey,A.(2012).Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlifeforteens.OaklandCA:NewHarbinger.(ForewordbyS.C.Hayes)
Downloads-
Ciarrochi,J.,Atkins,P.W.B.,Hayes,L.L.,Sahdra,B.K.,&Parker,P.(2016).ContextualPositivePsychology:PolicyRecommendationsforImplementingPositivePsychologyintoSchools.FrontiersinPsychology,7(1561).doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01561Availablefordownloadat-http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01561/full
Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2016).TipsheetsforDNA-vwithkids–Learningthebasics.Availablefordownloadat-http://thrivingadolescent.com/kids-resources/dna-v-basics-tip-sheets/
Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2016).TipsheetsforDNA-vwithkids–Socialview.Availablefordownloadat-http://thrivingadolescent.com/kids-resources/dna-v-social-view-family-tip-sheets/
Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2016).TipsheetsforDNA-vwithkids–Self-view.Availablefordownloadat-http://thrivingadolescent.com/kids-resources/dna-v-self-view-tip-sheets/
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Session1–What’sthisprogramabout
Equipment
• Pens• DNA-Vworkbooklet–1perstudent• VideofromZe-FrankavailableonYouTubehere-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwNJZUZFt-U• PowerPointslidewithTheGameoflife(Ciarrochi,Hayes,L.&Bailey,2012).Downloadhere
-http://thrivingadolescent.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Game-of-Life-Ciarrochi-Hayes-Bailey-2012.pdf
Aimforthesession–Gettoknoweachotherandprogrampurpose
Theaimforsessiononeistogettoknoweachotherandprovidethegroupwithanunderstandingofwhattoexpectoverthecourseofthegroupprogram.Buildadeeperunderstandingaboutourselvesandthosearoundus
• Knowandcareforourselvesandeachother• IntroduceDNA-vandtheconceptofchoice• Discussgrouprules,confidentialityandrespectforeachother• Worktogetherwithrespectandcompassion
Throughouttheprogram,providesomeguidelinesandtimeforthegrouptowriteintheirhandouts/workbooks.Thisisimportanttoreinforcewhattheyarelearning,asareminderoflearningsfromthegroup,andforreflectiveathometaskslaterinthesessions.
Contenttocoverinthesession
Keypointstocoverinthesection:
• Facilitatorsbeginbyintroducingthemselvesandexplainingwhatthegroupwillbeabout.• IntroduceconceptofwritingyourownDNA.• ExplainthatthesesessionsareaboutlearningtowriteyourownDNA• ExplainwhatwemeanbyDNA-v–itisthebasicbuildingblockswithineachofus–butin
thiscourseitistheD,NandAofeverythingyoudo• JustlikeDNAgetsexpressed,thesesessionsandthehandbookwillbeabouthowyourDNA
skillshelpyoutoexpressyourbestself• Provideeachstudentwithaworkbook• IntroduceDNAexperientially“LetmeshowyouwhatImean”
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Beingyourself
Facilitatoremphasisesthatstudentswillbewritingtheir“own”handbookforlife.
Beginbyshowingthefollowingvideoandfacilitatingadiscussionabouttryingtobewhatotherswantyoutobe.
• ShowVideofromZe-FrankavailableonYouTubehere-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwNJZUZFt-U
Discussion:
• Askthegroup,“Whotellsyouhowtobeyou?”• Promptforanswersifnecessary–friends,Mum,Dad,teachers,grandparents,siblings,
coach,media,ourselves.• Askthem–“Sowhoshouldbewritingthathandbookonhowtobeyou?”
IntroducingwhatwemeanbyDNA?
Sampledialogue:
Youaregoingtolearnthatwedon'thavetofitintosomeoneelse’sviewofus,wewriteourown
handbook,andwecanlearntodothiswithsomethingwecallDNA-v.
WeallknowDNAisthebasicbuildingblocksoflife.Itinfluencesoureyecolourandheight.
WearegoingtotalkaboutadifferentDNA.
It’stheDNAofwhatwedo,think,feel.It’sthingsyoucanlearnaboutyourselfwhichcanhelpyou
towriteyourownhandbookonlife.Itcanhelpyoulearnhowtobeyouwhenstuffgetshardorin
theway.Wehopeyoucanhavesomefunwhilewelearnstufftogether.
Introducingyourself
Facilitatorshouldspendsometimeintroducingthemselvesandtheirresponsibilitiesregardingconfidentiality.
Sampledialogue:
• Assomeofyoumayknow,myroleattheschoolis…
• Aspartofmyrole…
Besuretodiscussconfidentialityandlimitsofthegroup.Alwaysplantodothissothatifariskorharmissuearisestheyoungpeopleknowwhatwillhappenanddonotfeelbetrayed.
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UsingsocialDNA-vtoformthegroup
Facilitatorsshouldspendsometimediscussingtheexpectationsforthegroup,insideandoutsideofthesessions.
Guidelineforthediscussion:
Beginbyaskingthegroup,“whatmakesagoodgroup.”
Astheytalk,drawabigDNA-vdisconawhiteboard,andbeginmodellingDNA-vasagroupby
writingintheappropriatespaces,i.e.fittheiranswersunderD,NorA(noneedtoexplaintoomuch
aboutwhatDNA-vmeanatthispoint).
InVyoucanwriteanyvaluesstatements–forexample,beingrespectfultoeachother,learning,
caringetc.Simplyreframetheyoungpeople’ssuggestionsintovaluesbehaviours–gettingrespect
becomesbeingrespectful.
InAyoucanwriteanyrulestheycomeupwith–forexample,avoidgossiping
InNwritefeelingsandpresentmomentawarenessexamplesthattheycomeupwith–forexample,
noticinghowothersfeel
InD,youcanwritedownrulestheycomeupwithforovertgroupbehaviour–forexample,not
talkingovereachother.
Finally,returntoconfidentiality–
“Sometimesyoumighthaveanissueyoudon’tfeelokaytoshareinthegroup,butwanttotalk
about.Youmightbeworriedaboutsomethingthatfeelstoobigtosayinfrontofeveryone,oryou
maynotbesureabout.Thebestwayistotalkwithoneofthefacilitatorsafterthegroup,orifit
feelsreallyurgent,askoneofusifyoucangooutandtalkprivatelyduringthegroup.“
Thenasktheyoungpeopletocomeupwiththeirownrulesforconfidentialityoutsidethegroup.
YoucanwritetheseinAtoo.
TheChallengeofChoosing
GameofLifePart1
ThisgameisfromGetoutofyourmindandintoyourlifeforteens(Ciarrochi,L.Hayes&Bailey,2012).Theaimofthisactivityistoalloweveryonetoexperiencetheproblemwithnochoice/choiceaboutwhathappensintheirlives.Youcandownloadtheimageforthegameoflifehere:http://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/thriving-adolescent-book-downloads/..
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Keysteps:
• Askparticipantstopick4numbers(or6dependingontime)between1and63andwritethemdownintheirhandbook.
• Then,withabitoffanfare,showTheGameofLifeonthescreen.Tellparticipantsthatwiththose4numbersyoutheywillfindoutwhathappenstotheirlife.Facilitatorsshouldparticipateinthegameaswell.
• Participantsshouldwritetheirdestinyintheirhandbook.• Facilitatorsshouldgiveeveryonetheopportunitytosharetheirdestiny.• Discusswhatitfeltliketohavenocontrol.
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Sampledialogue:
Let’sseehowyourlivesturnedout.Whowouldliketogofirstandtelluswhatyoudidwithyour
life?
Didanyonefindthemselveswishingtheyhadchosena“5”insteadofa“6”sotheycouldhave
“wisdom”insteadof“addiction”?
Whatwasitliketohavechanceinchargeofyourlife?
Whoishappywiththislife,withtheserandomchoices–(maybeonepersonishappyothersaren’t).
Regardlessofwhetheryouarehappyornot,here’smyquestions:
• doyouwanttobetheonewhochoses?
• ordoyouwantitchosenforyou?
Let’sdothatnowandseewhatchoosingforourselvesfeelslike.
TheGameofLifePart2
Inviteparticipantstolookattheboardagainandchosewhich4(or6dependingontime)squarestheywouldlikeastheirdestiny.Only4though.
Getthemtowritethemdownintheirgrouphandbook.
Facilitatorscancreateagroupdiscussion--elicitsomediscussionofthedifferentexperiencewhenyouarechoosingwiththoughtfulnessratherthanrandom.Thisexercisegivesparticipantstheexperienceoftakingsomechoiceintheirlives.
Sampledialogue:
Whatdidyounoticethistime?Whatdiditfeellike?Howdoyoufeelnowcomparedtowhenyour
destinywasrandom?
Whatwoulditbeliketogothroughlifehavingthingsrandomlychosenforyou?
Therearelotsofreasonswhythisapparentrandomnesshappenstopeople,butmostlyitisbecause
theyhaven’tlearnthowtopauseandlistentothemhear.Insteadtheylistentotheirmindstelling
themtheycan’tdothings,orthattryingistooscary,oritistoohard.Soinsteadofchoosing
thoughtfully,theyjustreacttowhatisaroundthem.
Weareprettysureyoudon’twanttoliveyourlifeinthisrandomway,sowearegoingtoworkon
thatnow.
Facilitatorsdiscusstheimportanceofchoosing.Forexample:
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Alotoftheworkwearegoingtodoisaboutchoosing.
Hasanyonenoticedthatchoosingcanbequitehard?
Why?–promptresponses(riskgettingitwrong,lookingsilly,beingjudged,gettingitrightcanbe
scarytoo)
Therearelotsofchoicestoday–evenchoosingjeanstakesalotofeffortbecausetherearesomany
styles
Manypeoplewon’teventhinkaboutchoosinghowtheywanttobe.Theyjustkeepdoing.
Wearenotonlyafraidofotherswearealsoafraidofourselves.Forexample,sometimesweavoid
eventhinkingaboutbeinggoodatsomethingincaseitneverhappens.Andtheonlypersonwhowill
knowwearethinkingitisus.
Keymessage–Choosingishard.Thoughtfulchoosingisevenharder,butlearningtoconsiderwhatyoucareabout(values)isworthit.
UsingSocialDNA-vforgroupformationPart2
FacilitatorscanreturntotheDNA-vdisctheydrewupontheboardearlierwiththegrouprulesandspendsometimeintroducingeachcomponentofDNA-Vinrelationtotheyoungpeople’sthoughtsandfeelingsduringthesession.
InviteeveryonetowriteafewnotesontheDNA-vmodelintheirworkbook.
Samplediscussion:
V standsforvalueorvitality,itmeanswhatwecareabout,orwhatisinourhearts.
Whatareweherefor?Whatdoyouhopethiscanbeabout?Whatdoyouhopethatwemight
achievebyspendingacoupleofhourstogether?(examplesgetalongwithpeople,learnabout
myself,behappieratschool)
We’lllearnalotmorelater,butfornow,let’salsogetoutthenegativestuffthathappenswhenwe
areinagrouplikethis:
A standsfortheadvicewegiveourselves.So,asyouwerecallingtheseanswersout,whatarethe
negativethingsyoumightbethinkingabout.(Ifthegroupishesitantyoucanaskwhata“friend”
mightthinkaboutthemselves,youcanmakeajokeofit–“Ihaveafriendwhohasafriendwho
thinksthisgroupisstupid”).Let’sjustwritesomethoughtshere(negativeaboutthisgroup)for
examplethismightbecrap,boring,wasteoftime,
Facilitatorsshouldaddtheirownthoughtstooforexampleyoumighthateme,youmightnotgetit.
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Asyouspeakincludeanyjudgementsothersmightmakeaboutyou,forexamplethatwasastupid
thingtosay.
N referstoourabilitytopause,insteadofreact,andnoticewhat’sgoingoninsideourselves,with
others,andwiththosearoundus.Whathaveyounoticedsofar?Inyourselfandinothersaround
you?(ifreluctantyoucanaskwhat“friend”mightbefeelingandmakeajokeofit–“Ihaveafriend
whohasafriendwhoisanxiousinthisgroup”).Includeinsidenoticingfeelings–whatdoyounotice
inyourbodyforexampleembarrassed,anxious,butterflies,scared,etc.Includeoutsidenoticing.for
examplewhatothersinthegroupseemslike(avoidevaluationsofothersatthisstage).
D Dstandsforthethingswediscoverorthingswedo.Let’sconsidersomeofthethingswedoin
agrouplikethisifweareworriedornervous,i.e.theimpulsive,unthinking,oractingoutthingswe
mightdoinagrouplikethis.Whatdoyoudo?Forexamplesblurtstuffout,notputyourhandup,
besilent,stayoutofthediscussion.
Noticethatallofushavenegativethoughts,feelingsandactions.Everyoneofuscanrelatetothese
things.
Now,returntoVandgentlysummarise.Forexamplewhenallthisnegativestuffisgoingon,what
happenstowhatwecareabout?Andwhathappenstoourdecisionsabouthowwewantourgroup
tobe?Noticethatallofthisisnormalandwealldoit.Inthisgroupwearegoingtolearnallabout
that.
Spendsometimeemphasisingthatthisisallnormal,andsomethingthatweallexperience.
Hometask
• Askstudentstospendsometimethisweeknoticingwhathappenswhentheyhavetomake
choices.Howoftenithappens,isitdifficultoreasy,whatdotheythinkwhentheyhavetochoose,howdotheyfeelbeforeandaftermakingachoice
Endingthesession
• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Checktheirunderstandingofwherethehomepracticetaskgoesinthehandbook• Thankeveryone• Makesuretheyhaveputtheirnameontheworkbook• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.
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Session2-TheNoticer
Equipment
• PensandDNA-Vhandbookforeachstudent• YouTubeclips–
1. FreehugsinSantorini-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN8CKwdosjE2. Babyrespondingtodadevillaugh-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YemitZJBT1Y
Aimforthesession-Thenoticerasaprocess
Noticeristheprocessofbecomingawareofourinnerandouterexperiences,appreciatingourpresentcontext,andchoosingourresponse.
Exercisesthathelpayoungpersonbecomemoreflexiblewiththisnoticerprocesswillbehelpful.Herearethekeymessagesandcontenttocover:
• Introduceandexperientiallyhelpyoungpeoplegetintouchwiththeirownnoticer• Learnthatweallhavenoticerskills,• Introducebasicnoticersteps–Normalise,practiceA-N-D,practiceallowing.• Learningwecanchooseourresponse(evenifitishard)• Learnthatwecan’tstopthoughtsandemotions,andstrugglingispartoftheproblem• Learningtoappreciatethepresentmoment• Normaliseandcreateawarenessthatweeachhavenoticerbehaviours,andtheycanbethe
sameordifferentinasituation
RecapandReflection
• Brieflywelcomeeveryoneback.• Invitestudentstoreflectonlastweek(session1)forexamplewhatdidwelearn?• Remindthemofthekeymessagefromlastsession:Wegettochooseourpath,butchoosing
ishard.• Checkifanyonehasexamplesfromhomepractice.Whatdidtheynoticeaboutchoosing?
Howoftendidyouhavetochoose?Wasitdifficultoreasy?Whatdidtheythinkwhentheyhadtochoose,howdidtheyfeelbeforeandaftermakingachoice?
Step1-NormalisingtheNoticer
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Webeginthissessionwithopendiscussiononhowournoticeristrainedbytheworld,andasimplenoticerskillthatallowsthestudentstoeasilyseethattheyhavenoticerskills.
Weareallnoticers
Sampleintroduction:
Invitethestudentstostandup,noticetheirfeetonthefloor,noticeaspotofdirtontheceiling,and,
thennoticehowtheirbreathisrightnow.
Thisisnoticing.Wecanalldoit.
Wearebornasnoticersbutwelosetheskillaswegetolder,sowewillhavetotrainourselvesto
becomebetteratnoticing.Thiscanbeusefulwhenyouhavethoughtsorfeelingsthataredifficult,
orsomethingmakesyoufeelanxiousandworried.
Youhaveamessage
Sampledialogue:
Yournoticerisjustlikemymobilephone(holdupphone).Myphoneisconstantlygettingmessages,
searchingformessages,pingingwhenitgetson.
Whatcanyoudoifyoudon’twantanymessagesonmyphone?
Inviteanswersandusethesepromptstoplayfullyguidediscussion:
1. Youcansmashit.Butthatmeansyougetnocallsormessagesever.
2. Blockthecaller–butiftheyreallywanttogetholdofyouwhatwilltheydo(usesomeone
else’sphone)?Ifitwasyourmumforexamplewhatwouldshedoifyoublockedher?
3. Youcanputitonsilentsoyoucan’thearit.Butifit’sonsilentwhathappensifyourbest
friendistryingtogetholdofyou?
Discusshowallofthesestrategieswillhelpyouavoidthecallsormessages,andtheywillworkintheshortterm,butarenotveryeffectiveinthelongterm.
Forexampleifweavoidingallcalls/messagesitmightworkforyouinthatminute,butitmakes
thingsworseinthelongerterm(likeblockingyourmum’scalls).Whatweknowisthatthemessage
isnottheproblem,theproblemistryingtoavoidthemessage.
Nowconsider,yournoticerskill,orwhatyounoticeinsideyou,issomethinglikethis.Manyofus
havegrownupinaworldwherewehaven’tlearnedhowtouseourfeelings,howtolistentothe
message,sowetrytoblockthem,toshutoffourfeelings,toignorethemetc.
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Imaginenotlearningtohearyourownbody’smessages?Maybethiswouldbelikesomeonehanding
someonefromthe17thcenturyamobilephone.Whatwouldtheydowithit?Promptfordiscussions
onwhattheymightdo.
Wehavealllearnedhowtouseournoticerskillstomanageourfeelings.Butfirstweneedtolookat
whatwehavelearned.Maybe,likethe17thcenturyphoneuser,wehavenoconnectiontothe
“network”,inthiscasethewisdomthatisourbody.
Howhaveyoubeentoldtocopewithyourfeelings?Whathaveyouheardorlearnedtodowith
them?Givetimetoexplorethis.Promptsinclude–controllingthem,distractingyourself,pretending
theyarenotthere,playingvideogames,obsessingaboutsocialmediaetc.
Discusstheineffectivenessoftheseagendas.Howwelldoesthatwork?Shorttermandlongerterm{whatiftheyneverhadsadnessorwereneverafraidofanything}
Step2-Practiceatawareness,naminganddescribingnoticersensations
Remembertobreathe
Oneoftheeasiestandmostconvenientwaystopracticebeinganoticeristojustpauseandtakeaslowbreath.
Askyoungpeopletodothatnowwithyou.Simplypauseandtakeaslowbreath.Allowenoughtimeforthemalltodothis.
Discusswithyoungpeoplethattheirbreathhelpstomanagetheirbody.Whentheyarestressed,afraid,orangrytheirbreathbecomesquick.Learningtotakeaslowbreathcanhelpus.Remindthemthatwedonotmeanbreatheinreallydeeply,justtakeaniceslowbreathbeforeresponding.
Asyoudelivertheremainderofthesessions,occasionallydropinthisslowbreathpractice.
PracticeA-N-D
Thisnextexerciseteachesthebasicstepsofbecomingawareofourselves,learningtonamethesensationsanddescribeourfeelings.TodothisweusetwoverydifferentYouTubeclipsthatwillcreatedifferentsensationsandfeelingsintheparticipants.
Sampledialogue:
ThefirstoneusestheacronymA-N-D,that’sDNAbackwards.ItstandsforAware,Nameand
Describe.
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Youmaythinkthissoundsreallydumb,butweknowintheresearchitislinkedtosomanygood
outcomesandhelpspeoplelistenandusetheirnoticermessages.Researchshowsusthisisareally
helpfulskill,ithelpspeoplemanagestressandbecomelessreactive.
I’mgoingtoshowyoutwolittleYouTubeclipsandaskyoutodoisA-N-Dasyouwatcheachone.
Aware–thisisbecomeawareofyourbreath,
Name–isnamethesensation,e.g.youmightbecomeawareofbutterfliesinyourstomach,orjump
insurprise,oragaspofbreath
Describe–thisissimplytodescribeiftheawarenessandnamingisconnectedtoafeeling.For
example,butterfliesinyourstomachmightbeafeelinglike,“Iamnervousnow”.
PlaytheFreehugsinSantoriniYouTubeclipandfacilitatediscussionofA-N-Dinresponsetheyhadwhilewatching.(seeequipmentsection)
PlaythebabyrespondingtodadevillaughYouTubeclipandfacilitatediscussionofA-N-Dinresponseheretoo.(seeequipmentsection)
Keypointstodiscuss:
• Werespondinsideourbodiesaswewatch• Wecanbethesameordifferentinournoticing• Wechangeourresponsewhenweseeemotionsinothers• Discusshowtheresponsecomesandgoes,thiscanbequicklyorslowlybutitalwayspasses.
Step3-Alloworrespondtonoticersignals
Thefinalstepinbuildingnoticerskillsistohelpyoungpeoplediscoverthattheydon'tneedtoautomaticallyrespondtoallfeelingsignals,controlthem,beafraidofthem,ordistractfromthem.Withpracticetheycanlearntoeitherallowthefeelingtobethere,orlearntorespondwithawareness.
Seaweedgoeswiththeocean1–Anexerciseinallowingorresponding
Thisexerciseaimstohelpyoungpeopleexperientiallyunderstandtheirchoicewithfeelingsandsensations.Standorsitwiththegroupandactthisouttogether.Wefindactingthingsoutreally1SeaweedgoeswiththeoceanisreproducedfromHayes,L.,&Ciarrochi,J.(2015).TheThrivingAdolescent:UsingAcceptanceandCommitmentTherapyandPositivePsychologytoHelpTeensManageEmotions,AchieveGoals,andBuildConnection.OaklandCA:NewHarbinger.
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helpsyoungpeopletounderstandtheconcepts,whereastalkingisjustloadingintowhateveryotheradultsdoes–tellthemwhattodo.Sureyouwillfeelsillyatfirst,butwehavefounditreallyworks.However,ifyouwant,youcanalsodothisasaneyesclosedmeditation.
Sampledialogue:
Askeveryonetostandwitheyesclosedorlookingatthefloorsotheydon'tfeeltoosillyandgetthe
giggles.
Imagineyouareaseaweedplant.Youarestrongandhavebeengrowingforalongtimewithyour
rootsfirmlyanchoredintotheseafloor.
Todaytheseaiscalmandmovingonlyasmallamount,soyouaregentlyswayingbackandforward,
itisverypeaceful.Noticehowitfeelstobeswayinggentlyandgoingwiththeocean.
Eyesclosed,continuetalkingthiswayforabout30seconds,swayinggentlytogether.
Nowalongcomesabigwave,manybigwaves.Youswaybackandforwardpowerfullymovedbythe
waves,youaremovingwiththem.Yourrootsarefirmlyplantedintotheseabed.Yousimplygowith
theocean,movingbackandforward.Itisapowerfulseatoday.Noticehowitfeelstoberocking
withthewaves.
Eyesclosed,continuetalkingtosimulatethestrongwavesforabout30seconds.
Nowimaginemassivewavescrashingoveryouandthistimeyouwanttofightthem,youdon'twant
toberockedbythewaves,soyoustandrigid.Imaginethewavescrashingaroundyou.Noticethe
effortittakestoforceyourselftostaystillwhilewavescrashallaround.
Standingrigid,imaginingtheforceofwaves,simulatingstruggle,forabout20seconds.
Oncemoretheseabecomescalmandyougobacktogentlyswaying,rockingwiththepeaceful
ocean.Noticehowitfeelstobeswayinggentlyandgoingwiththeocean.
Oncetheexerciseisover,asktheyoungpersontodescribewhatitfeltliketobeswayinggently,thenstrongly,andthenfightingthewaves.
Theyshouldnoticethatfightingthewavestakesalotofeffort,farmorethanallowingoneselftoberockedbackandforwardbystrongwaves.
Gentlyrelatethisbacktotheiremotions.Allowingemotionstocomeandgoislikegoingwiththewaves,sometimesitisgentle,sometimesitispowerful,butgoingwiththewavesisalwaysmucheasierthanstandingrigidandfightingagainstthem.Emotionsarelikethis,goingwiththemissometimeseasy,sometimeshard,butneverashardastryingtofightthem.
Createnewrulesforfeelings
Wecanhelpyoungpeoplewithnewrulesforfeelings.Forexample:
• Allfeelingsarenormal• Allfeelingsareok
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• Feelingsjustare• Thistooshallpass
Facilitatediscussionwiththegrouponwhattheyfindhelpfultosaytothemselves.Rememberwealwaysneedtoholdallruleslightly.
Noticerisn’tjustaboutFeelings
Facilitateagroupdiscussiononhowournoticercanhelpusbeawareofhowourbodiesarerespondingtotheworld.
• Noticehowyourbodyrevsupwithstress,examsetc.• Noticehowitchangeswhenyougoforawalk,getsomeexercise,playasport• Noticewhathappenswithfastmusic,slowmusic,sadmusic
Discusshowmovementcanhelpusinlotsofways.Forexample,onetreatmentthatworkswellfordepressionisexercise.
Discusshowothersinfluenceournoticer.
• Beingseenandheardbyothersisimportanttoallhumans.• Weallneedotherpeople;muchofourstresscomesfrominteractionswithotherpeople,
buttheyalsohelptosoothandcalmus.• Abigfeelingorproblemcanchangewhenyoutellsomeone.
Noticethenoticergame–SocialDNA-V
Humanshaveauniquecapacitytounderstandotherpeoples’feelings,buttheycanalsobewayoffintheirguesses,andsometimestheycanprojecttheirownfeelingsontoothers.Thisnextexercisehelpsyoungpeopleexperiencethis‘mindreading’abilityweallhave,andincreasetheirperspectivetakingofanother’sexperience.Theimportantmessageisthatwecan‘mind-read,’butwealwaysneedtocheckourguessesout.Sometimeswearewrong.Sometimesinsharedexperienceweassumeanotherfeelsaswedo.Sometimesweprojectourownfeelingsontoothers.
Instructions:
Askeveryonetostandupandgetintogroupsoffour.
Giveeveryoneapieceofpaperwiththenumber1,2,3or4onit.Askthemnottorevealwhat
numbertheyhave.
Showaslide,orwriteonaboard,therolesthatareassignedforeachnumber,asfollows:
1=emoter
2=receiver
3and4arenoticers.
Inthetask,theemoterimaginesthemselvesinasituationwheretheyhavestrongfeelings,butdon't
wantotherstoseeit.Forexample,imagineatimewhensomethinghasgonewrongormadeyou
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upsetandyougotoschoolandtrytohidehowyoufeel.Youstillfeelit,butyoudon'twantanyone
tosee.
Thereceiver’staskistoguesswhichofthegrouphasthefeeling.
Thenoticerstaskistobejustthat,someoneinthegroupnotdoinganythingbutnoticing.Ifthey
guesstheemotionofthereceiver,theyshouldnotsayitoutloud.Thatisthetaskofthereceiver
Havethegroupjuststandandchatforaminuteorso,andwhenthereceiverisreadytheycantry
andguesswhichoneistheemoter.Remindthemthatthisisagamesotheycandothisplayfully.
Oncetheyhavedonethefirstround,askthemtoredistributetheirnumberedroles,shakeitup,and
chooseanotherroleforround2.
Havethegroupsengageinafewrounds.
Whenthegameisover,discussthefollowing:
• Howdidyouguess?Whatcluesdidyouuse?• Wasiteasyorhard?• Diditchangeifyouknewtheperson?• Thengeneralisethisouttoreallife:Whatisitlikewhenyouarehavingabigfeelingand
hopingthatsomeoneseesitandhelpsyou?Whatisitlikewhenyouarehavingabigfeelingsandhopingnoonesees?
• Discusshowsometimesyoufeellikeeveryonecanseethroughyou.Maybetheycan,maybetheycan’t.
Hometask
• Askstudentstospendsometimethisweekpracticingthe3noticerstepsAND• Becomeawareoftheirbreath,ortheirbreath;Namethesensation,e.g.butterfliesin
stomach,orfastheartrate;Describewhattheyarefeelingforexample,butterfliesinyourstomachmightbeafeelinglike,“Iamnervousnow”.
• Askiftheycancreatesomenewrulesforfeelings.Forexample:Allfeelingsarenormal,Allfeelingsareok,Feelingsjustare,Thistooshallpass
Endingthesession
• CheckHomeTaskiswrittenintheirworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek
• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.
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Session3–TheAdviser
Equipment
• PensandDNA-Vhandbookforeachstudent• Whiteboardmarker(forWooPenexercises)andexplainactivitytoaco-facilitatororstaff
member(brief“thepensayswoo”withastaffmemberpriortothegroupstarting)• Post-itnotes• Cardswithexamplesofstatementsfor“LionsintheGrassactivity”• Giveyouradvisorthemicrophonevideo,availablehere
http://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/new-ideas-for-you/video-ideas/• BoBurnhampoemMagiconanoverhead(optional)
Aimofthesession-Theadvisorasaprocess
Theadvisoristheprocessofhelpingpeopletonavigatetheircontextwithlanguage.Thisincludesbehavioursofpredictinginsteadofusingtrialanderror,beliefs,judgements,rules,evaluations,andproblemsolving.Inotherwords,theadvisoruseswhatwehavelearnedfromthepasttohelpusnavigateourpresentandfuture.Thewholepointoftheadvisoristokeepusfrommakingmistakes,especiallytheonesthatgetuskilled.
Weintroduceametaphortorepresentthisbehaviourgroupas‘ouradvisor”or“howwegiveourselvesadvice”.
Therearefourkeystepstousingtheadvisorflexibly,theyinclude:
1. Normalisetheadvisor’s‘watchingout’function
2. Decidingthehelpfulnessofourownadvice,rulesandself-talk,basedonwhetherithelpswithvitalityandvalue
3. Learningtounhookifstuck.Webeginwithsteppingoutofadvisortonoticerordiscoverer
4. Learningtocreatehelpfulrulesandevaluations
Again,wecouldusemanyexercisestohelpyoungpeoplelearnthese4steps.
RecapandReflection
• Brieflywelcomeeveryoneback.• BrieflyrecaptheNoticerfromlastsession.• Askthegrouptodiscusswhattheynoticedbetweenthesessions.• Askifanyonehasexamplesofthe3stepsofthenoticerfromhomepractice
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Step1Introducingthenormalityoftheadvisor
Beginbyaskingifthegrouparewillingtoengageinsomefunnyandweirdexperimentsandgames.Thenwithouttoomuchexplanation,starttheLionintheGrassexercise.
Survivorgame(Hayes,L.&Ciarrochi,2015)
Thepurposeofthisactivityistodevelopanunderstandingoftheusefulnessoftheadvisorandwhywehumansevolvedwithlanguage.Itprotectsusfromharmandkeepussafe.Theactivitydemonstrateswhathappenedtopreviousgenerationsofhumanswhoignoredtheiradvisor,andshowswearedescendedfromgenerationsofhumanswithprotectiveadvisors.
Instructions
Askforfivevolunteers.
Onestudentwillbethetribalwarriorfacedwithalion.
The4otherswillbeadifferenttypeofinnervoice(languageandthinking).Handeachparticipanta
cardwithsomeexamplestatementstopromptthem.Askthemnottorevealtheirroleorwhatis
writtenonthecard.
Thesilentadvisor–thepersonreallyhasnoadvisorhere
Theobedientadvisor-totheobedientadvisorisnegativeandthreatoriented,butwhenyoutellit
toshutup,itshutsup.
TheMellowadvisor–Thisadvisorseessomenegativethingsbutmostlyisrelaxedandlikestofocus
onthepositive
TheAdvisor–oursupersensitive,alwaysontheball,typicaldangeravoidingadvisor
Everyoneelsewillbelionstryingtoeatthetribalwarrior.
Askthetribalwarriortochoosea‘helper’andtheirjobistoworktogethertotryandgetpastthe
lionstothefoodontheotherside.Instructthe‘helpers’totakeonthepersonaandusethe
promptsonthecardtohelpthetribalwarriorreachthefood.
Youcreateabattleeachtimetoseewhichadvisorisbetter:silentadvisorversusadvisor(butto
keepthemysteryyoumaysay,“thesilentadvisorversusanotherkindofadvisor”.Thendoobedient
advisorversusadvisor.Withobedientadvisor,yougettheyoungpersontoliterallyturntothe
helperandsayshutup.Thehelpershutsup.Thenwiththe“other”advisor,thepersonsaysshutup
buttheadvisordoesnotshutup.
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Thefinalbattleisbetweenthemellowadvisorandtheadvisor.
Thesilentadvisorsaysnothing.Theyhappilywalkuptothelions.Theywilldie.
Theobedientadvisorisasnegativeastherealadvisor.Thepersonistoturntothehelperandsay
shutuptotheobedientadvisor.Theadvisorshutsup.Sowhenalionshowsupinthedistance,they
don’tshoutawarning.It’sbeenshutup.Theywilldie.
Themellowadvisorcan’tbeshutup,butisverylaid-back,seesdangersbutdoesn’treallyworry
aboutthem.Missessomedangers.Canonlyaffordtomissonedanger.Theywilldie.
Theadvisornevershutsup,itisconstantlylookingfordangerandisquiteforceful.Itkeepsmaking
negativecommentsandstopsthewarriorfrommovingforward.Thewarriorsurvives.
Facilitatorsshoulddiscussthepurposeandusefulnessofeachinnervoice.Forexample:
• Discussthecharacteristicsofeachinnervoice,whathappenedtothemandwhy?• Whichinnervoicedoyouwishyouhad?• Whichonewillkeepyoualive?• Whichonetoyouactuallyhave?
Summarizethepurposeandusefulnessoftheadvisor.
Sampledialogue
Foryoutobehere,yourancestorshadtomakezerofatalmistakesbeforetheyproducedchildren—
zeromistakesacrossthousandsofyears.Wearethechildrenofthechildrenofthechildrenofthose
survivingtribalbands.Ouradvisorshavesavedus.Ifyourlifedependedonmakingzeromistakes,
wouldyouratherhaveanadvisorthat’stoonegativeandsensitive,oraninnervoicethatislaid-back
andsometimesmakesmistakes?
Step2Appreciatethehelpfulnessofouradvisor
Advisoradapted-PensaysWooexercise
Thisexerciseisanadaptationfromthebook,Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlife(Hayes,S.C.&Smith,2005)
Instructions:
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Giveawhiteboardmarkertoastaffmemberandaskthemtoholditup.Tellthestudentsthispenis
magicalanditcanspeak.Itsays“woo”.Explainthatfromnowonwhenevertheyseethepenthey
shouldsay“Woo”.Practiceafewtimes.Havefunwithit.
Throughouttheremainderofthesession,askthestaffmembertorandomlyholdupthepenover
thecourseofthegroup.
Atsomelaterpoint,afterafewopportunitiestorespondtothepenwith“woo”,facilitatorsshouldstopanddiscuss.Forexample:
• Howquicklythestudentsassociatethepenand“woo”• Howeasyitistotrainanadvisor,evenwithsillythings.• Howtheycan’tstopithappeningandhowtheycan’t“shutitup”• Howhelpfulisittokeepsaying“woo”?
Discusshowhelpfulthoughtsconnectustowhatwecareabout,whereasunhelpfulrulesorthoughtsoftencomefromrandomthings,‘likepensayswoo’.Inthesemomentswecandecidewhethertheruleswehavearehelpfulforconnectinguswithmeaning,andiftheyarenot,wecanstepoutofthemandintothenoticerspace,takeabreathandjustbecomeawareofouradvisor.
Watchingyouradvisoratwork
Thisexerciseisanadaptationfromthebook,Thingsmightgoterriblyhorriblywrong(DuFrene&Wilson,2010)
Instructions
Tellthegroupyouaregoingtotimethemforoneminute.Invitethemtoclosetheireyesandcount
eachbreath.Everytimetheygetdistractedbyathought,orstartproblemsolving,thinkingabout
thefuture,orworkingoutiftheyaredoingitright,theyneedtogobacktozeroandbegincounting
again.
Stopafteroneminute.
Facilitatorsshouldaskthemwhathappened.Forexample:
• Didcountanyhigherthan3?Howhigh?• Whatdistractedthem?• Didtheybecomeawareoftheiradvisorchatting?Problemsolving?Workingoutwhattodo
next?• Wheretheirthoughtsalwaysusefulandprofound,orsometimesjustchatter?• Discusshowouradvisorsjobistopumpoutthoughts.Youmightchoosetorelatethistothe
roleoftheheartwhichistopumpblood.
Generalisefromtheexercisetotheirliveswithdiscussion:
• Whodoyoutalktothemost?Answer–You.
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• Isyouradvisorlikeyourbestfriend,yourworstenemy,orboth?Answer–Evenwhenwearecriticalouradvisorisusuallylookingoutforusinsomeweirdway.
Wrapitupdiscussion
Sampledialogue-
Soweknowtheadvisorismeanttohelpus,itdoesn’tcontrolus,butitisprettypowerful,very
activeandquitehardtoignore.Let’sdoafewmorethingstogettoknowouradvisormindsalittle
bettersoitdoesn’tpushusaroundsomuch.
Step3Gamestounhookfromtheadvisor
Thenextstepistohelpyoungpeoplepracticedefusingfromtheiradvisorwhenitseemstheyarestuck.Oneoftheeasiestwaystodothisistosimplystepoutoftheadvisorandintothenoticerordiscoverer.
GiveyourAdvisoraMicrophoneexercise
Thepurposeofthisexerciseistodemonstratethat,attimes,everyonehasacriticaladvisor,eventhoughweoftenthinkwearetheonlypersonwhohasone.ItisadaptedfromtheworkofRikkeKjelgaardandKellyWilson(www.humanact.se)
Instructions:
Facilitatorstakeapostitnoteandwritedownacriticalinnerthoughtthatprovidesappropriate
levelsofself-disclosure.Revealyourpostitnotemessageandtellthegroupwhen/howthisthought
seemstopopup.(commonexamplesare“Iamnotgoodenough”,“Iamdumb/ugly/useless”)
Giveeachstudentapost-itnote.
Invitethemtowritedownsomethingcriticalthattheiradvisorsaystothem.Askthemtodisguise
theirhandwritingsonobodyknowswhattheyhavewritten.Explainthattheywillbecollectedup
anonymouslybyastaffmember.Collectthepost-itnotesanddisplaythemallonthewall.
Optional-whilethepostitnotesarebeingputonthewall,showavideoofnoteswrittenbyagroup
ofhighschoolstudents,explainthesewerejustregularstudentsattendingclass.Giveyouradvisor
themicrophonevideo,availableherehttp://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/new-
ideas-for-you/video-ideas/
Givethestudentsachancetogetupandreadwhattheirpeershavewrittenaboutthemselves.This
canfeelquiteseriousbutitisanopportunitytoshowthenormalityofourstruggle.
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Facilitatorsshoulddiscusshowhurtfulthesethoughtsare,buthowcommontheyare.Forexample:• Whatdidyounotice?• Didtheynoticeanysimilarities?• Howmanydoyouhave?
Importantmessagesfordiscussion:
• Consideraskingthegrouptowriteafewnotesintheirworkbook• Weallhavecriticalinnerthoughts,eachoneofuscouldcomeupwithseveralmessages• Itisn’tbadthatouradvisoriscritical,theproblemisthatwemakeourselvesstrangersto
eachotherbyhidingandthinkingthatwearealone,orpretendingwearealwayspositive.• Ouradvisor’sjobistopointoutourweaknessessowegetbetter,thisisfarmoreeffective
thanalwaysbeingpositive.Positiveandnegativeareuseful.• Sometimes,wedogetoverlycriticalandtherearethingswecandotohelpourselves.
Myadvisorsoundslike…….
Thisnextexercisecanbuildsomenewwaysofthinkingaboutourinnerselftalk.Usethe‘magic’poembyBoBurnhamtogettheadvisorsusingdifferentvoices.Explorewithfurtherquestionssuchas:
• Whatdidyounoticehappenasyouread?• Whatdoesyouradvisorsoundlike?• Usepromptstoidentifywhattheirownadvisorsoundslike(Yoda,aGPS,EddieMurphy,
GeorgeCostanza’smotherfromSeinfeld,mymum)PoemforMyAdviserSoundsLikeactivity
magic
Readthistoyourself.Readitsilently.
Don’tmoveyourlips.Don’tmakeasound.
Listentoyourself.Listenwithouthearinganything.
Whatawonderfullyweirdthing,huh?
NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD!
SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND!
DROWN EVERYTHING OUT.
Now hear a whisper. A tiny whisper.
Now,readthisnextlinewithyourbestcrotchety-old-manvoice:
“Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?”
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Awesome!Whowasthat?Whosevoicewasthat?
Certainlynotyours.
Howdoyoudothat?How?
Mustbemagic
Bo Burnham
Step4Createhelpfulrulesontheuseoftheadvisor
BecomeaDNA-vshifter
Learningtousetheadvisorwellrequirestesting,modifyingandwherenecessarycreatingnewrulesforourselves.WecancreatenewDNA-vrules,suchas“IcanlearntobeaDNA-Vshifter”,Or“Iamcapableofbuildingfriendships”.Wecantestoutrulesbysteppingintothediscovererspaceandtryingthem,thenmodifyingorcreatingnewrulesbasedonwhatourexperienceshowsus.
Weaskthem–
• Whenyouarestuck:o Canyoustepintonoticing,takeabreath,andjustbecomeawareofyourself-talk?o Canyoustepintodiscoveryandtrytodosomethingnewordifferent?
• Asyoubecomeawareofyouradvisor,considerifyourself-talkishelpingyoutoconnectwithvitality,protectingyou,orsomethingelse.
Yougettochoosewhentolistentotheadvisor
Instructions
Havestudentsstandandgetintopairs.
Askthemtochoosewhichoneofthedyadwillbetheadvisor.Playfullypointoutthattheiradvisor
wouldbeatworkalreadytryingtodecideiftheywantthisroleornot.Theotherpersonbecomesa
‘person’.
Foroneminutetheadvisorgetstotellthepersonwhattodo(e.g.dostarjumps,talkinaFrench
accentetc.)andtheymustdoexactlywhattheiradvisorsays.With2rules,theymuststayinthe
room,andtheycannotbemean.
Now,explaintheyaregoingtodothesamethingforasecondminute,butthistimethe‘person’
getstousetheirnoticerandanewadvisorrule,“Icanjustbeaware,Idon'thavetodoit”.
Later,tellthemthattheycanchoosewhetherornottheywanttodoit.Onceagainhavetheadvisor
tellthepersonwhattodo.Andallowthepersontostepintonoticer,ortojustobservetheiradvisor
rulesandchooseiftheywanttoobey.
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Discussionshouldinclude:• Sometimesitisnicejusttodowhattheadvisorsays,choosingcanbehard• Whathappenstotheiradvisorwhenwedidn'tfollowwhattheysaid–“theygotlouder,
moreinsistentetc.”• Discusshowourinnervoicecanbejustlikethis.Ifwetrytoignoreit,sometimesitgets
louderandit‘seems’asifwemustobey,butwealwaysgettostepintothenoticerspace,pauseandtakeabreath,orsteptothediscovererspaceandchooseanewactivitytodo.
Hometask
• Askstudentstospendtimethisweek“gettingtoknow”theiradvisorsbylisteningtoit.• Askiftheycanidentifypatternsandincreaseawareness.• Askthemtonoticewhathappensiftheystepintotheirnoticerspaceandbreathe.• Askthemwhathappensiftheythinkaboutthehelpfulnessoftheruleintermsof
connectingwithwhattheycareabout?
Endingthesession
• Checkhomepracticeiswrittenintheworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.
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PromptsfortheLionsintheGrassgame
THESILENTADVISOR–youdon'tdoanythingtohelp.
Juststandthereanddon'thelpatall
THEOBEDIENTADVISOR–youseethatproblemsanddangers,butyoushutupwhenyouaretoldto.Saythingslikethistoannoyyourperson:
“Thatlooksrisky”
“Whatdoyouthinkweshoulddohere?”
“Doyouthinkit’ssafe?”
–andshutupwhenyourpersontellsyouto
THEMELLOWVOICE–Youseesomethingsbutnothingreallybothersyou.
“Isthatalion,nah,Ithinkit’justgrass”
“AmIgoingtomissdinner–nahthey’llwaitforme”
“AmIgoingtogetkilled–noitwillbefine”
THEADVISOR–Youwatchoutfordangerandreportitveryloudlyandforcefully.Youwon’tbesilenced.
“Thereisdangeroverthere”
“It’stoodangerous”
“Don’tdothat,youmightgetkilled”
“Waitaminute”
“Stopit’stoorisky”
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SESSION4-DISCOVERER
Equipment
• YouTubeclipofbabyrespondingtomumblowinghernosehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBppBPvMTk8
• YouTubeclipweareallscared-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGmAekTPD5c• Sweetsorchocolatethatcannotbeeasilyidentified.Forexample:WarHeads(extreme
sours)takenoutoftheirpackets,orsaltedchocolate.• Strengthcards–eitheronesetforagroupof4or5,oroneseteachperson.Thesecanbe
downloadedfreefrom–http://thrivingadolescent.com/2016/01/19/strength-spotting-card-sort-free-download/
Aimofthesession-TheDiscovererasaprocess
TheaimofthesessionistointroducetheDiscoverer.Thisistheprocesshelpingyoungpeopletoexploreinordertodevelopskillsandresources,andexpandtheircontext.Itincludes:
Beginningstepsinclude:
• trackingwhatisworking(ABC)• buildingstrengths• creatingvalues• explorenewanduntestedbehaviour
RecapandReflection
• RecapAdvisor–awordweusetodescribehowweuseourinnervoicetonavigatethepresentandpredictthefuture.Looksforproblemsanddanger.Withacriticaladvisorwecanmakeourselvesstrangerstoeachotherbyassumingwearetheonlyones.Whatifweallknewthateveryoneiscritical?
• CheckexamplesofAdvisor–didyoutrynoticingyouradvisor?Whathappened?• RecapNoticer–ourability,thatweallhave,tonoticeourinnerandouterexperiencesand
chooseourreactionwithawareness• CheckexamplesofNoticer–haveyoubeenabletonoticeandbecomeawareofyour
feelingsinsteadofjustreacting?Whathappens?
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Whatisadolescencefor?
Beginwithadiscussiononwhywehumansmighthaveanadolescence,coveringthekeytasksofadolescentsanddiscussingwhattheymighthelpusdo.Somepointstoinclude:
• Humanandanimaladolescentssharesomesimilarcharacteristics,particularlyrisktaking,loveofnovelty,sensationseeking,andchangesinrelationships(readCiarrochiandHayes,L.(inpress)formoreinformationonevolutionandadolescenceandthisimportantdiscovererbehaviour)
• Someofthesecharacteristicshelpadolescentstryadultroles.• Somehelptobroadenandbuildstrengths,testingoutwhatwelove,fail,andtryagain;e.g.
aneathairstyleonemonth,purplehairthenext.• Discusshowimportantitistotrymanyadultrolesandbehavioursinordertogain
independence.• Concludewiththeideathatthesethingsaretheessenceofthediscoverer.
Meetyourdiscoverer
Sampledialogue:
Thediscovereristhepartofusthatlearnsbydoing–wetrynewthings,experimentandgivethings
ago.Thinkofitlikeababylearningtowalk,standingupandfallingdown.Thatisababybeinga
discoverer.
Nowforteens,it’sallabouttrialanderror,andlearningaswego,andaswefail.
Howdoyouthinktheadvisorinyouisgoingtofeelsaboutdiscovereraction?Theadvisor’sroleof
keepingussafe,usingpastlearning,predicting,insteadoftrialanderrorlearning.Summarise–your
advisorprobablywon’tlikesomepartsofthisbecauseitsjobistokeepussafe.
Howdoesthediscoverergetalongwiththenoticerdoyouthink?Whathappenstoyourfeelings
andinnersensationswhenyoutrynewthings?
Weneedflexiblenoticerskillsbecausestandingupforyourself,tryingnewthings,takingrisks,
learningtobeindependentetc.,allcomewithanxietyorfearoffailure.Flexiblenoticerskillswill
helpyoucopewiththestrongemotionsgeneratedbydiscovering,includinglikeworry,fearand
embarrassment.
Youshouldalsorecapflexiblenoticingskills–takeabreathandnoticewhatisgoingoninyourbody.
Askthemtothinkaboutatimewhentheyhavetriedsomethingnew.Howdidyoufeel?Whenever
youhavetriedsomethingnewyouwillalwaysbeanxious.ConfidencecomesAFTERthat.
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Thediscovererisaboutlookingatwhatwehavebeendoing,tryingthings,seeingiftheyworkout,
seeingwhatwearereallycapableof,growing,gettingstrongerallofthetime.
WhenwestarttouseallourDNA-vwelearntoshiftwhenwearestuck.Whenyougetstuckyou
move,fromdiscoverer,tonoticertoadviser.
VideoonBabyreactingtomumblowinghernose
ShowthefollowingYouTubeclipandaskthemtothinkaboutthebaby’sdiscovererandalsowhathemightbefeelinginthisnewexperience.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBppBPvMTk8
Discussiononthevideo:
Sampledialogue
Thisbabyislearningabrandnewthing.Takingariskofsomethingnewhehasneverexperienced.Hehasfearinhisbodyandyethedoesn’trunaway.Hefeelsthesensation,andhismumhelpshimstaywithit.Thisiswherewestartaskids.Thebabyistakingbabyrisks.Nowadolescentriskisalittledifferent,thereisadaptiveriskvsmaladaptiverisk
Createanopendiscussionaroundtherisksadolescencemustfaceastheylearnindependence.
Keypointstoincludeare:
• Ouraimwiththediscovereristobroadenandbuildrepertoiresofbehaviour.Thisincludesfosteringadaptiverisktaking.Hereweneedtodrawthedistinctionbetweenadaptiveandmaladaptiverisk.
• Adaptiveriskincludesthingslikestatingyouropinion,standingupforwhatyoubelievein,evenifyouropiniondifferstoothers,notbeingabystandertobullying,andlearningtodisagree.Riskdoesn’thavetolooklikestandingonastageandsingingtoanaudienceortrainsurfing.Itcanalsobelearningtohaveyourownmindandchooseyourbehaviour.Itbeginswithavoice,saying“Idon’twantittobelikethis.”And“Ivalueandcareaboutthat”
• Maladaptiveriskisreinforcingintheshortterm,butdoesn’tworkoutforayoungpersoninthelongterm.Inotherwords,itdoesn'thelpbuildalifeofvitalityandvalue.Itisimportantheretofacilitateadiscussionwiththeyoungpeopleonwhatmightbemaladaptivevsadaptive,ratherthantellingthemwhattheyshouldn'tbedoing.Thereissufficientresearchshowingthatkeyingintoyoungpeople’sneedforvitalityandvaluehasbetteroutcomesthanadviceonwhatnottodo(Cohen,2006;Shermanetal.,2013).
Thereareawholelotofthingsyouhavetolearntobeindependent.Akeyistolearnhowtomanagetherisk
SeeingallD,NandAinasweetexercise
ThepurposeofthisactivityistopracticesteppingacrossallthebehavioursinD,N,andA.Wedothisbyusingadisguisedsweetorchocolate.
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Extremesoursweetssuchas‘WarHeadextremesours’orchocolatewithunidentifiedflavourslikesaltorchilliworkwell.
Instructions:
Note:Beforethisactivity,takethesweetsoutofthewrapperssotheyarenotidentifiable.Don'tletthegroupseethem.Puttheminbowlwithalidsotheyarehidden.
Shakethebowlsoitmakesanoiseandaskthegrouptotellyouwhattheythinkitis.
IdentifytheAdvisor:
Whatevertheyguessistheiradvisorbehaviour.Theirhistoryoflearningwhatanoiselikethismight
be(guesseswillincludesweets,buttons,marblesetc.)Thenrevealwhatisinthebowlandgetsome
moreadvisorevaluations(Idon'tlikethem,Iwasrightetc.).AskabouttheAdvisor–whatistheir
mindsaying?Whatjudgementsandevaluationsaretheyforming?Whatistheadvisortellingthem
todo?Isthereanyproblemsidentified?
Handoutonesweettoeachperson.Requestpeopledon’tgiveitawayiftheyworkoutwhatweare
doing.Askthegrouptowaitforeveryonebeforetasting.
IdentifytheNoticer:
Askthemtostepintothenoticerspace.Whatdoesthesweetsmelllike?Whatbodysensationsare
goingonrightnow?Whatemotionsordesiresaretheyawareof?
IdentifytheDiscoverer:
Now,stepintotheDiscovererspaceandseewhattheexperienceofeatingittellsthem.Wastheir
experiencethesameastheiradvisorsaidordifferent?Somewillbecorrect,somewillbewrong,
somewillsayittastedbetterorworsethanwhattheythought.
SummarisewithdiscussionabouthowlifelivedwithstrengthisonewhereweuseallourD,NandA.Andlearntochangeflexibly.
Discusshowthediscovererisabouttryingthings,andyouradvisorornoticerwon’talwaysbe
correctunlessyoutrytheexperience.Theycanalsousetheirdiscoverertolearnfromexperience,is
thissomethingthatwasgoodforthem?Wouldtheyeatthisagain?
BuildingStrengths
Facilitatorsshouldintroducetheconceptofstrengths.Formoreonthistopic,readTheThrivingAdolescentchapterontheDiscoverer(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,2015).Beclearthatwearenotreferringtocharacterstrengths,ratherweareattemptingtobuildbehavioursthatyoudo.Notwhatyouare.Forexample,Idokindthings,notIamkind.
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Strengthcards–theycanbedownloadedfreefromthislink-http://thrivingadolescent.com/2016/01/19/strength-spotting-card-sort-free-download/
Instructions:
Dividetheyoungpeopleintogroupsoffour.Putcardsonthefloorinthemiddleandaskeachyoung
persontochoose3strengthstheyhave.Oriftheyknoweachotherwelltheycanchooseonethey
haveandonetheyseeinanotherperson.
Astheychoose,askthemtobeawareofwhattheiradvisertellsthem(‘youreallycan’tchoosethat
strength,peoplewilldisagree’)andalsowhattheynoticeintheirbodyandfeelings(nervousetc.)
andalsowhattheymightdowithoutthinking(lowdiscoverer).Askthemtochooseboldnesshere,
tochoosetobediscoverers.
Askthemtodiscussintheirsmallgroupshowstrengthscanbehelpfulandusedtobuildvalue,but
sometimeswecanusethemwithoutthinkingandtheytakeusawayfromwhatwecareabout–e.g.
honestyisgoodforrelationships,butcanalsobetheoppositebecauseitcanbebrutalandcanbe
hardforotherstohear.
Eachpersonshouldcomeupwith3waystosharewiththesmallgroup
1) Howcanyoubuildthisstrength?2) Howcanyoubuildthisstrengthinyourgroup?3) Howcanyoubuildthisstrengthinyourliveswithfamily,friends,orclassrooms?
Tryit,trackit,buildit
Animportantpieceofthediscovereristeachingyoungpeoplehowtotracktheoutcomesoftheiractions,aswellashowtotracktheoutcomesofnewinitiatives.
Afunwaytointroducethisistoreturntheexercises‘pensayswoo’intheadvisormodule.Simplyholdupthepenatanoddtime,andwhensomeofthegroupsay‘woo’,discusshowthisisanadvisorrule,andonepartofthediscovereristoworkouthowusefulourrulesareinasituation.Sohowusefulisthisnow?
Followthiswithanopenupadiscussion,withafunaspecttoo,ofhowwehumansdothesamethingoverandoverandexpectsomethingdifferenttohappen.
Exampledialogue
Often,wehumansjustkeepdoingthesamethingoverandoverexpectingadifferentoutcome.We
dosomething,andthensuddenlyseehowitisjustmoreofthesame?Forexample,Ioncefound
myselfarguingwithmyson,eachtimewehadadifferentopinion,hewouldstarttogetlouder,andI
wouldgetlouder,anditwouldgoonandon.Untilonedaymyothersonsaid,“youtwoalwaysdo
this,itneverchanges”.SoIstoppedandthought,‘HmmwhatisthethingIamdoing?AndwhatamI
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getting?”Irealisedthatwehadthisoverandoverwayofarguingthatneverchanged.Sonexttime,I
decidedtodosomethingdifferenttoseewhatwouldhappen.Thisisanexampleoftracking.
Canyouthinkofthingsyoukeepdoing,overandover?Letthegroupsharesomeexamplesandif
youcan,haveabitoffunwiththeideathatwehumansarefunnycreatures.Wegetstuckeasily.
Forexamplereactingtoanannoyingteacherinthesameway;goingintoaclasswiththesame
negativeattitude;respondinginthesamedismissivewaywhenyourmumaskshowschoolisgoing,
engaginginthesame“judgey”conversationswheneveryouarewithacertaingroupofgirls.
Keypointstoinclude• Discusshowsomebehavioursweengageinoverandovercanbecomeaproblem.Becoming
moreskilledasadiscovererisaboutseeingwhenwearestuckdoingthesamethingoverandover–lowdiscovererisnottrying.
• Askthegroup,howtheywouldknowifabehaviourishelpfulornot?Pointthemtotheideathatourbehaviourismessyandhardtoalwaysknowwhatwewantordon'twant.Trackingisawaytohelpuswiththat.
• Wecanbeginthisbyfollowingthese3simpleideaswhenwefeelstuck.
Discoverers-try,track,&build:
• 1.Tryit-Ourthoughtsorfeelings(advisorandnoticer)arenotthesameastryingoutanexperience.
• 2.Trackit-Ourexperiencehelpsusdecideifourbehaviourisontherighttrack.Askyourself,“WhathappenedwhenIdidthat?”
• 3.Buildit-Weusecuriosity,exploration,andtestingtobuildourstrengthsandcreatethingswecareabout.
Discoverermovesdon’talwayshavetobebigthings.Canbesimplelike
• Takeabreathanddon’trunaway• Learnhowtotakeabreathbeforeyouhaveanargumentwithsomeone• Pausebeforeyoupostsomethingonsocialmedia.
DNA-vinaction
Thewalkoflifeexercise(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,2015)
ThisisanopportunitytoputDNA-valltogether.Itiseasiesttoreadthe“WalkofLife”scriptonthethrivingadolescent.comfirst(http://thrivingadolescent.com/adolescent-resources/thriving-adolescent-book-downloads/
Suggestparticipantstryandmakesomenotesintheirworkbookastheydothisactivity
Adaptedscriptforagroup:
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Facilitators,alongwithstudents,canchoosearelevantscenarioforthegroupandactouta‘Walkof
life’exercise,havingthestudentsallroleplaypartsofthemodel.
Askfortwovolunteerstoroleplaya“fictitiousproblem”(we’llrefertothemasthe‘student’from
nowon).Chooseaproblemthatisquitefamiliartoall–bullying,friendsfighting.
Dividetheremainingintofoursmallergroups(withatleast2peopleineachgroup),theyrepresent
discoverer,noticer,advisor,andvaluer.Nowyouhaveoneortwostudentswithaproblem,and
fourgroupsrepresentingD,N,AorV.Havethesefourgroupssittogetherinadiscshape,likethe
DNA-vdiskifyoucan.
Begintheroleplay:
Tooneorbothofthe‘students’whohastheproblem/struggle:“Imagineyouarestudentstruggling
withaproblem.Whatmightthatbe?”Note,useamadeupbutcommonproblemandhavethetwo
volunteerspretendtheyhave‘it’.Thisallowsalloftheyoungpeopletostandintheirshoes.Sothere
aretwopeopleintheroleplay,the“targetperson”whoistryingnewbehaviorsandthe“Helper”
whoissettingupthesocialsituation,e.g.,bypretendingtobeabully,adifficultfriend,ateacher,a
parent,etc.Thetwovolunteersroleplaythesituation,e.g.,ofthehelperbullyingthetargetperson.
Then,theystopinthemiddleoftheroleplay,andtheDNA-Vgroupsarepromptedtorespond
TotheVgroup:Let’sasktheVgroupwhatthisstudentmightcareabout?Allowthestudentsto
comeupwithideas.Promptifneeded:-Perhapstheyliketohavefriends,toplaysport,tosingor
dance.(Notewatchforideasthatareclingingtostates,“Wanttobehappy”oravoidingstates,i.e.
“Wantnottobeanxious”.Iftheseclinging/avoidingstatescomeup,asktheVgroup:‘Whatmight
thisstudentbeabletodoiftheywerehappythathe/sheisnotdoingnow?’or‘Whatwouldhe/she
beabletodoifyoutheywerenotworriedaboutbeinganxious?”
Ask‘students’tosteptotheadvisorgroup.
Nowlet’sasktheadvisorgroupwhatthetargetpersonislikelytobeexperiencing.Whatkindof
thingswouldthisstudentbesayingabouttheirself?Wouldtheybeblamingothersorthemselves?
Whatbeliefs,judgements,evaluationsmighttheyhave?“PerhapsI’manidiot.Theyarestupid.I
gotitwrong.TheythinkI’manidiot.I’mafraid.”.
Havethe‘students’saysomeofthesethingsandthensay,“Youseemstuckinyouradvisor,oneof
theeasiestthingstodoistostepintothenoticerspace.Let’strythat.It’snottheonlythingwecan
do,butitisonething.”Askthestudenttosteptothenoticergroup.
Tothenoticergroup:
Ok,thestudentshavesteppedtonoticing(asktheNoticergrouptohelpher/himout).Whatmight
thistargetpersonnoticeinsidethemrightnow?Promptfordifficultfeelings,nervousness,etc.
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Nowask:“Whathavewelearnedthatwecandointhenoticerspace?Promptfor–(1)takeabreath
ortwo,(2)noticewhat’sitliketobehereinsteadofoverthereonadvisorspace,(3)noticewhatis
aroundthem.Thenask–“Whatothernoticerskillscouldshe/heusenow?”(Promptfornaming,
allowing,pausing,expandingawareness,beingmindfulofothersfeelingsetc.).
Askthe‘students’iftheyarewillingtopracticesomeofthesenoticingskillswhilethegroup
encourage.
Thenask:“Whataboutthediscoverers?Theyhavenothingtodo.Perhapswecangooverthere
too?”.
Havethe‘students’movetothere.
Tothediscoverergroup:
Let’saskthediscoverergrouptohelpusout.“Whatcanadiscovererdohere?Becurious.Trysome
experiencetheyhaven’ttriedbefore?Theycouldseewhatisworking.Whatnewthingsmightyou
try?
Promptforsmallthings.Pointoutthatjustmovingintonoticer,ordiscovererisdoingsomething
too.
Maybeaskwhatstrengthsthis‘student’has?
(Note:watchoutforbigthingswhichareacontrolagenda,e.g.“SoIcouldtellmyselfI’mnotreallya
loser”).
Finally,askthestudenttostepbacktotheadvisorgroupandask:
“Whatnewthinkingrulescanthisstudent’sadvisorlearn?”
Promptfornewrulesthatconnectwithvitality.Forexample,“It’soktobenervous”or“Myadvisor’s
jobistolookoutfordangersoitisoftencritical”.
Nowredotheroleplay,thistimewiththetargetpersontryingsomenewresponsetothehelper.
Youcanrepeatthisprocessasmanytimesasseemseffective.
Groupdiscussion:
Spendsometimehavingthewholegrouptalkabouteachrole,whattheybecameawareof,howitmightbetrueornottrueforthem.
Keymessage
• ThekeywithDNA-visbecomingaDNA-vshifter,wheneveryouarestuckyougettomovetoanotherskill.
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Hometask
• Askstudentstospendsometimethisweekpracticingbecomingawareofwhentheyare
stuckinnoticer,advisorordiscoverer• Makeadecisiontomovefromonespacetoanother.• Askthemtonoticewhathappenswhentheystepintoadifferentspace.
Endingthesession
• Checkhomepracticeiswrittenintheworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.
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Session5-Values
Equipment
• YouTubeclip:Seconds-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdymCQ5PXrs• Valuescards–onesetforeachstudent(theydonotkeepthem).
o Thesecanbedownloadedfreefrom–http://thrivingadolescent.com/2016/01/19/strength-spotting-card-sort-free-download/
o Orpurchasedwithallproceedsgoingtocharityfromhttp://thrivingadolescent.com/shop/inAustralia,orfromhereintheUK/Europehttps://contextualconsulting.co.uk/act-values-conversation-cards
• Valueshandoutattheendofthissession.1perstudent• Successscenarioshandout
Aimofthesession-Valueasaprocess
Theaimofthissessionistocreatecontextswithvaluepresent,andthentohelpyoungpeopleconnectthiswithaction.Valueistheprocessofhelpingtocreatecontextsthatempoweryoungpeopletoclarifywhatbringsthemvitalityorvalueandthentochoosevalueconsistentactions.
• Valueisanaugmentedrulethatisusedtoconnectcurrentbehaviourwithfuturehopedforoutcomes
• Itisconstructedfromlanguage(wespeakaboutit,andindoingsowecreatedit)• Itisconstructedaboutpatternsofbehaviourthatareintrinsicallyreinforcing• Itisconstantlychangingandevolving
RecapandReflection
• RecapanddiscusswhattheyrememberaboutNoticer,AdvisorandDiscoverer.• Remindthemthattheyareallgoodandthekeytaskistolearntomove.• Checkifanyonehasanexampleofnoticer,advisorordiscoverer,orofmovingfromhome
practice.
Smallthingsmatter
Seconds-YouTubeclockvideo
Thepurposeofthisactivityistogeteveryonethinkingabouthowsmallmomentsarethebuildingblockstowhatwelove.Howsmallthingsmatter.Wecancreatelifeinjustsmallmomentsoftime,itdoesn’thavetobebiggrandplans,itcanbesmilingatafriend.
Itdoesn'thavetobegoalsthatareworldchanging.Smallactionshaveconsequences.
Openagroupdiscussionaboutthekindofsmallthingsthatcreatewonderfulmoments.Pointlooselytoexamplesthatthesixwaysofwellbeing.Wecoverthe6waysinsession6sononeedtogooverit,butdointroducevariabilityinthediscussion,forexampleafunnyphoto(noticingnow)a
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textfromafriend(connecting),passingatest(challengingoneself),thedelightofsleepingin(self-care),etc.
IntroduceValues
FacilitatorsshouldintroducetheconceptofValues.
Sampledialogue
SofarwehavelearnedaboutD,NandA,andpracticedhowtomovearound.We’vealsotalkeda
littlebitaboutV,whatyouvalue,buttodaywearegoingtospendabitoftimeworkingoutwhat
YOUvalue,whatisinyourheart,whatyoucareabout,orwhatmakesyourlifemeaningful.
Weusethewordvalues,andyoucanthinkofitabitlikeacompass.Youcanlearnaboutvalueto
helpkeepyoulivewell,keepyoudoingthethingsyouloveandgettingunstuckwhenyouarehaving
atoughtime.Butjustlikeapointonacompassyouneverreachvalue.Justasyoucanneverstop
andsay“HereIamatWest”.ThereisalwaysWesttoheadtowards,inthesamewayyouwillnever
gettoapointandsay“Ihavedonekindness,thatistickedoffIdon’tneedtodothatanymore”.
Valuescardsort
Thepurposeofthisactivityistofacilitateidentificationofasetof3-4personalvaluesbyeachadolescent.ItisexplainedinfullinTheThrivingAdolescent(Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,2015).
Instructions:
Handasetofvaluescardtoeachstudent.Askthestudentstothinkaboutwhatisclosesttotheir
heart,whattheylove,whattheycareabout.Itdoesn’tmatterifitissomethingtheydon’thave
muchof,itcanstillbesomethingtheyareabout.Askthemtothinkaboutliferightnow,notinthe
futureorthepast.
Studentsshouldsortthecardsinto3piles,onepilethat“doesn’tmattermuchrightnow”,onepile
that“mattersafairbitrightnow”,andonepilethat“mattersmostrightnow”.
Oncetheyhavedonethis,askthestudentstospreadoutthe“mattersmost”pileandselectJUST3
or4cardsthataremostimportanttothem.
Whenthecardsortiscompleteaskthestudentsto:
• talkinasmallgrouporpairsaboutwhytheychosethat,andaboutcommonalities• findsomeonewhohasthesamevalue• hearwhattheiradvisorissayingastheytrytoanswerquestions• noticewhatemotionsariseastheytalkabouttheirvalue• talkofwhatdiscoveriestheyhavemadeaboutthisvalue
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Valueshandoutactivity
Usingthevalueshandout,askstudentstowritetheir3-4chosenvaluesinthecircles.
Askstudentstochooseanactiontoengagemorewithoneoftheirvalues.Goalsneedtobesmall
andmeasurable,avoidgoalsthatareunrealistic(forexample;I’mgoingtobenicetoeveryoneall
week).Askthemtostudentstowritetheirgoalinthesquareboxes
Askwhetherafewstudentsarepreparedtoshareavaluesandgoaltofacilitateadiscussionandcheckforanyunrealisticorunmeasurablegoals.
StrengthsforvalueisSuccess
Thepurposeofthisactivityistointroducetheconceptsofusingyourstrengthstoconnectwithwhatyoucareabout.DiscusshowsuccessinDNA-visusingD,NandAinwaysthathelponebecomemoreflexible,getunstuckquicker,andtuneintotheprocessoftryingratherthantheoutcomeasameasureofsuccess.Strengthsforsuccesshandoutcanbeused.InstructionsBreakintosmallgroupsandusethesuccessscenariostogeneratesmallgroupdiscussionsaboutsuccess.Feedback.
Hometask
• Makeamovetowardavaluebycompletingtheirgoal.• Askstudentstonoticewhattheirmindistellingthemaboutsuccessoverthenextweek.
Endingthesession
• Checkhomepracticeiswrittenintheworkbook• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Thankeveryone• Considercollectingtheworkbooksupandbringingthemnextweek• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.
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SuccessScenarios(Ciarrochi,Hayes,L.L.&Bailey,2012)
PromotingFairnessYouvaluePromotingFairness.Thereisaboyatschoolwhoseemsreallyunhappyanddoesn’thavemanyfriends.Youseehimgettingpickedonatlunchtimebytwootherkids.Yougoovertohelphimandaskhimwhatisgoingon.Heisreallymeantoyouandtellsyouhecanlookafterhimselfandyoushouldjustmindyourownbusiness.Hewalksoffandtheother2kidslaughatyou.
Didyousucceed?
WorkingCooperativelyYouvalueWorkingCooperatively.Youhaveagroupprojecttodoforschool.Youdidyourbestontheprojectandtriedtoincludeallofyourgroup.Youhelpedthegroupshareouttheworkevenlyandmakesureeveryonehadanequalaboutofworktodo.Youorganisedafewgroupmeetingstoworktogetherbutsomepeopledidn’tturnup.Youfinishedyourpartofitontime.Youhelpedanotherpersonfromyourgroupwhowasstuck.Intheenditdidn’tworkoutwellbecausesomepeopledidn’tdotheirsections.Yourgroupdidn’tgetaverygoodmarkfortheproject.Youfindoutthebestmarkwenttoagroupwhereonepersondidthewholeprojectherselfbecauseshesaidhergroupwasuselessandtheirworkwouldn’thavebeenanygood.Didyousucceed?
BeingkindYouvalueKindness.Youarekindandmakefriendswithagirlinyourclasswhoinnewtoyourschool.Youintroducehertoyourfriendsandshestartshangingoutwithyou.Youtalkandlaughalot,listentoeachother,watchoutforeachother.Shegetsaboyfriendandstartshangsoutwithhimallthetime.Shestopshangingoutwithyou.Youhardlyhearfromheranymore.
Didyousucceed?
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Havingcourage
YouvalueCourage.Thereisanewgirlatschoolthisyearandyoureallylikeher.Sheissogorgeousandseemsreallyfriendly.Shesmilesandlaughsallthetime,sheismakingfriendsatyourschoolreallyquickly.Youwanttoaskheroutbutyouaresonervousitishardtoevensayhello.Yousuckupallyourcourageandaskherifshewantstowalktothecaféafterschool.Shesaysshecan’tbecauseshehasbasketballpractice.Shewalksawayandyoufeelreallyconfusedandembarrassed.
Didyousucceed?
BeingsupportiveYouvalueBeingSupportive.Youusedtoplayfootballfortheschoolteambutyougetsickhalfwaythroughtheseasonandcouldn’tplay.Youarereallydisappointedbecauseyouloveplayingfootballandallyourfriendsplayontheteam.Theteamdoesreallywellandgetstothefinalsandyoustillaren’tabletoplay.Youareinvitedtothemoviesonthedayofthefinalbutyougotothegametosupportyourteamandwatchyourfriendsplayfootball.Theyplayreallybadlyandlose.It’saterribleday.
Didyousucceed?
PersistingYouvaluepersisting.Youreallywanttoplaysoccerforyourschoolteam.Yougototrainingallpreseasonandlistentothecoach.Youdoexactlywhatisaskedofyou,trainreallyhardandplayreallywellinthetryouts.Youdon’tgetselectedontheteam.Thecoachsaysyouwereveryclose,andyoushouldkeeppractisingandtryoutagainnexttime.Youarereallydisappointed.
Didyousucceed?
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Session6–Self-viewandtheSixwaysofwellbeing
Equipment
• YouTubeclip-‘Weareallscared’https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGmAekTPD5c• DNA-vdiscfromworkbook• Spinningwheelfromhere(ormakeyourownonpaper)
http://www.louisehayes.com.au/valued-action-wheel/• Posterpaper–blackiscoolbutwhiteisoktoo• Graffitipensormarkers
Aimofthesession-Self-viewasaperspectiveofallourD,N,AandV
Selfisnotathing,butawayofseeinghowwecreateourselfthroughourchangingD,N,AandV.
Thissessioncoversselfinalightway,giventhatwearereferringtoschoolgroups.Ifyouaredoingtherapygroups,youmayneedtoconsideraddinginawholesessiononself,perspectivetakingandcompassion.
ReadthechaptersontheselfinactioninTheThrivingAdolescentforacomplexaccountoftheselfanddevelopment.
RecapandReflection
• Advisorishowwehavelearnedtotalktoourselves,andhowweusethistopredictandproblemsolve
• Discovereriswhatwedo–try,trackandbuild• Noticeriswhatwecanbeawareofinsideus,outsideus,andsensingsafetyordanger.• Checkifanyonehasexamplesfromlastsessionhometask
WhoareYou?
Beginwithadiscussionontheself,justallowthegrouptotalkgenerallyopeningupselfasaconcept:
• Whatisa‘self’?• Howwebecomea‘self’?• Doesourselfstaythesameorchange?
DrawingyourDNA-v
UsingtheDNA-vdischandoutintheirworkbook,askthestudentstodraw‘icons’thatrepresenteachprocessasuniquetothem.Besuretoaskthemtodopositiveandnegativeaspectsineach.Forexample,inadvisoronemightdrawaheadiconyellingtorepresentcriticalself-talk,andonealso
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mightdrawaheadiconthinkingtorepresentpositivereflection.Anexampleisshownbelowandcanbeshowntostudents.
Instructions
Askthestudenttotalkaboutwhichpartsofthediscare‘them’.
Askthemtodiscusswhathappenswhentheycanseenothingbutonething(youcanhavethem
blockpartofthedrawing),suchastheircriticaladvice,whathappenstotheotherpartsofthedisc?
Answer–theyarealwaysthere.
Thewholediscandallpartsofusarealwayspresent.
AskthemtonoticethatALLofthediscisthem.
Askthemtonoticehowthethingstheyputinthecirclecouldchangealotfromwhentheywere12
to16to22years.
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Makingourself
Showthe‘Weareallscared’YouTubeclip-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGmAekTPD5c
DiscusshowHankinthevideoisalsotalkingabouthowwemakeourselfbywhatwedo.Talkaboutthisinaliberatingway–wecanalwaysaddthings.
Theselfisn’treallyathing,andtheprocessofcreatingourselfhappenseveryday–smallthingsmatter.
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6waystowellbeing
Afunandsillyintro
Introducethegrouptotheideasthat:
• Wecanusesixwaystohelpourselvesenactvalue• Thatasweusethem,wearechanginghowweseeour‘self’• Smallthingsmatterforbuildingalifewecareabout
Sixwaystowellbeing
Connectingwithothers.Humansareessentiallysocial.Removeusfromoursocialgroup,andweare
likelytodeveloppoormentalhealth,getsick,anddie(Hawkley&Cacioppo,2010;Sarason&
Sarason,1985).Takeamomentnowtoanswerthisquestion:Whatismostimportantinyourlife?
Doesyouranswerinvolveotherpeople?
Givingtoothersandhavingapositiveinfluence.Givingisapatternofactivitythat’slikelytobe
forceduponyoungpeople.Evenso,researchsuggeststhatgivingmaybeintrinsicallyreinforcing
(Rillingetal.,2007),soifwecanfindwaystohelpyoungpeopleexperiencegiving,they’llbelikelyto
discovertheirownauthenticreasonsforgiving.Thereisnoneedtoforce-feedthemthisvalue.
Beingactive.Physicalactivityisassociatedwithgreaterwell-beingandlowerratesofdepression
andanxietyacrossallagegroups(Biddle&Ekkekakis,2005).Recentresearchalsosuggeststhat
activitymayimproveintellectualperformance(Singh,Uijtdewilligen,Twisk,vanMechelen,&
Chinapaw,2012).Inaddition,physicalactivitycanalsosupportothervalues,suchasconnectingwith
othersandembracingthemoment(Ciarrochietal.,2014).
Embracingthemoment.Thisbroadcategoryinvolvesfullypartakingofwhat-everisimmediatelyin
frontofus,ratherthanbeingfocusedonthefutureorthepast.Thisvaluespansmanyrealms,from
exploringandtravelingtoplayingmusicandenjoyingfood.Forthisreason,it’slikelytooverlapwith
manyifnotalloftheothercategoriesofvalues.
Challengingourselvesandlearning.It’samyththatpeoplearehappiestwhentheyhavenowork
andcanliveachallenge-freelife.Infact,evidencesuggeststhatunemploymentisoneofthe
strongestpredictorsofpoorwell-being(McKee-Ryan,Song,Wanberg,&Kinicki,2005).Researchers
havefoundthatwhenpeopleareimmersedinachallenge,theytendtoexperienceincreased
subjectivewell-being(Csikszentmihalyi&Hunter,2003).
Caringforourselves.Thiscategoryreferstoabroadrangeofself-carebehaviors,suchas
maintainingahealthydiet,gettingenoughsleep,anddoingsome-thingrelaxingafterahardday.
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Source:Hayes,L&Ciarrochi,J(2015).Thethrivingadolescent.
IntroducetheSpinningwheel,orsimplywritethe6waystowellbeingon6piecesofpaperandhavethemdrawnoutofahat.
Askthegroupiftheywouldbewillingtodooneoftheactivitiesnow.
Instructions
Spinthewheelordrawanameanactivityfromthehat.Invitethegrouptodooneofthewaysnow,
inanywaytheywant.(Wehaveseenyoungpeopledosomegreatthingswiththisactivity,sodolet
themfindaway.Someexampleswehaveseen,giving–theymightgiveahugorasmile,challenging
–theymightteachthegrouptosayhelloinanotherlanguage,orlearnasong).
SocialDNA-v
Using6waystowellbeingforusasagroup
Instructions
Spiltinto6groupsandhaveeachgrouprepresentoneofthewaysofwellbeing.
Giveeachgrouplargerbannersandgraffitipens.
Askeachgrouptobrainstormwhatbehaviourstheymightdotobuildthiswellbeingactivity.
Askthemtodrawordecoratetheirbannersoitrepresentswhatgivingmeanstothemhereat
school.
Makethisintoaposterthatshowswhateachwaycanmeanforthemasstudents.
Decoratethisgivingpagetoshowwhatactinginthiswaymeans.
Watchforpliance,i.e.writingwhattheythinktheyaresupposedtowrite.Youmayliketocallitoutfirst,i.e.‘wedon'tmean‘studentsmustfollowschoolrules’.Wemean,whatmatterstoyouinhowyouwanttoseeyourfellowstudents‘Giving’.
Avoidtoomanywordsasitcanbecomerulegoverned.
Debriefwhattheynoticedinthegraffitiexercise.
Thengivethegroupleadershipandbuilddiscoverystrengthsbyaskingthemhowtheyasagroupwouldliketomoveforwardwiththeirshared‘sixways’.
DiscusshowD,N,AandVareinallofus,andhowwearereciprocallyinfluencingeachother.
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Ifappropriatediscusshowtheymightsetagreedtasks.Forexample,onegroupofstudentmadevideosofthembuildingD,N,AandVintheirschool.
Closure
Askthegrouptocreatewaystosaygoodbyeandendthegroup.Someideas-photographingallthestudentswiththeirpostersfromtheactivityabove.WritingasharedDNA-vcreed.
Endingthesession
• Checkforquestionsorcomments• Handoutevaluations• Thankeveryone• Reminderthatanyonewhoisworriedorconcernedcanconnectafterthesession.
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References
Burnham,B.(2013).Egghead:Or,youcan’tsurviveonideasalone.London:OrionPublishing.Ciarrochi,J.,Atkins,P.W.B.,Hayes,L.L.,Sahdra,B.K.,&Parker,P.(2016).ContextualPositive
Psychology:PolicyRecommendationsforImplementingPositivePsychologyintoSchools.FrontiersinPsychology,7(1561).doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01561
Ciarrochi,J.&Hayes,L.L.(inpress). Shaping DNA (Discoverer, Noticer, and Advisor): A
Contextual Behavioral Science approach to youth intervention. In Wilson,D.S.&Hayes,S.C.(Eds.).(inpreparation).Evolutionandcontextualbehavioralscience:Areunification.Oakland,CA:NewHarbingerPublications.
Ciarrochi,J.Hayes,L.&Bailey,A.(2012).Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlifeforteens.Oakland
CA:NewHarbinger.(ForewordbyS.C.Hayes)
Cohen,G.,andSherman,D.(2014).Thepsychologyofchange.Self-affirmationandsocialpsychologicalintervention.Annual.Rev.Psychol.65,333–371.doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115137
DuFrene,T.,&Wilson,K.(2010).Thingsmightgoterribly,horriblywrong:Aguidetolifeliberated
fromanxiety:NewHarbingerPublications.
Hayes,L.L.&Ciarrochi,J.,(2015).Thethrivingadolescent:Usingacceptanceandcommitment
therapyandpositivepsychologytohelpteensmanageemotions,achievegoalsandbuild
connection.OaklandCA;NewHarbinger
Hayes,S.C.,&Smith,S.(2005).Getoutofyourmindandintoyourlife.OaklandCA:NewHarbinger.
Sherman,D.,Hartson,K.,Binning,K.,Purdie-Vaughns,V.,Gracia,J.,TAborsky-Barba,S.,etal.(2013).Deflectingthetrajectoryandchangingthenarrative:howself-affirmationaffectsacademicperformanceandmotivationunderidentifythreat.J.Pers.Soc.Psychol.104,591–618.doi:10.1037/a0031495