What Is Expected Of Me As A Mentee?
MENTEE
________Expected_to:_________
Initiate and drive the relationship Identify initial development goals Seek feedback Take an active role in your
learning Initiate monitoring and closure
sessions Allocate time and energy Follow through on commitments
or renegotiate appropriately
Not Expected to:_____
Be an expert Know all the questions you
should ask Get things right the first time Fit all learning into one mentoring
relationship Look to the mentor for all
answers about their work Be submissive in your
relationship Develop a friendship with the
mentor
What Is Expected Of Me As A Mentor?
MENTOR
Expected to:_________
Develop a level of trust within the relationship
Have reasonable expectations of the mentee
Be a resource…coach, advise develop
Provide feedback & coaching
Allocate time and energy
Help the mentee develop an appropriate development plan
Follow through on commitments or renegotiate appropriately
Not Expected to:______
Act like the mentee’s manager
Help extensively with personal problems.
Guarantee promotion opportunities or influence the evaluation process
Be an expert in every imaginable development area
Develop a friendship with the mentee
Drive the relationship
Do the work for the mentee
Reflectors
Like to learn by viewing situations from multiple angles.
Prefer to gather multitudes of information, use their imaginations, understand people, brainstorm, and incorporate perspectives from multiple cultures.
Prefer to learn by reflection, observation, reactions to feelings, and personal involvement with people.
Examples of development activities Reflectors enjoy include:
Reading Journaling Watching a video Interviewing others Observing others’ behaviors and reactions Role-plays and simulations Attending lectures
MENTEE
Activist
Learn best from hands-on experiences.
Enjoy taking on new and challenging experiences, and they possess an open-mindedness that helps them be adaptable to change.
Prefer finding concrete solutions rather than theoretical ones, and they often act on gut feelings rather than logical analysis.
Examples of development activities Activists enjoy include:
Targeted projects and assignments Job rotations On-the-job tips and training Self-paced learning activities Small group discussions Games Training courses
MENTEE
Pragmatists
Find practical uses for ideas and theories.
Enjoy making decisions, are good at systematic planning, and prefer learning by developing theories and using new ways of thinking to solve problems.
Examples of development activities Pragmatists enjoy include:
Case studies
Studying theories to solve problems
Individual study
Small group discussions
Projects
Self-paced learning activities
Job aids
MENTEE
Theorists
Prefer combining large amounts of information into models and concepts.
Use logic & ideas to understand situations, engaging in objective thinking.
Strengths include planning, defining problems, developing theories, and working with abstract ideas.
Examples of development activities Theorists enjoy include:
Examining others’ models
Operating on a joint task force
Attending lectures
Observing others
Reading and studying theories
Engaging in self-paced study
Using audio and videotapes.
MENTEE
Strategies for Successfully Managing Conflict
Develop a supportive rather than defensive environment.
Clearly understand what you want to happen.
Explicitly express why you feel there is conflict.
Listen openly and accurately to feedback.
Check the meaning behind the messages you are giving and receiving.
Seek to identify a common goal through compromise.
Discuss the issues (use facts rather than opinions).
Stay solution-focused.
MENTEE
Steps for Managing Conflict
1. Write down what you think the area(s) of conflict are. Be clear and specific.
2. Write down why you think these are area(s) of conflict. Identify the mentor’s perspective and how it differs from yours.
3. Prepare for your conversation with your mentor . Set a supportive climate. Do not be defensive.
4. Be prepared to listen. Use active listening techniques: paraphrasing, asking clarifying questions, etc.
5. Be prepared to move forward in a healthy, positive way.
6. Determine how future conflicts will be addressed.
The following steps are suggestions for preparing to successfully manage conflict.
MENTEE
Best Practices
Withhold Judgments
Suspend personal judgments. Keep an open mind during your discussions and not project an
attitude of condescension. You do not have to agree with your mentor’s position, but you
must acknowledge its legitimacy and at least agree to disagree. Use “I” statements since they describe your thoughts and
feelings, instead of “you” statements, which carry a tone of judgment that can be misunderstood as censure.
Speak Precisely
Be specific and avoid speaking in generalities. Resist the urge to drag a negative past into the present
situation. To accomplish this, reference present circumstances without restating previous misgivings.
Best Practices (cont)
Remain Considerate
Be careful not to speak down to or insult the intelligence of your mentor/mentee.
Be patient with learning; Do not interrupt or project frustration
Focus Your Discussion
Clarify points of agreement before dealing with disagreements. This helps to build common ground of understanding, save discussion time, and locate the focus of your discussion.
Attempt to focus on one issue at a time to help avoid confusion.
Balance Your Commun-ications
Express your thoughts and needs clearly, directly and in a balanced manner, respecting the thoughts, needs and rights of your mentee/mentor.
Mentee Skills
Embracing Feedback and Coaching
6 Steps
1. Seek out Feedback
2. Show Receptiveness
3. Explore the Feedback
4. Summarize the Feedback
5. Convey Appreciation
6. Use the Feedback
MENTEE
Listening
Hear what is being said
Verbal Responses
Non-Verbal Responses
Am I really listening OR am I waiting to talk?
93% of all communication is nonverbal. That means you have 7% left for actual words
MENTEE
Verbal Responses--Tips
Paraphrase -- put in your own words what the person said and meant
Use questions -- repeat key words or phrases in question form to further define what the person is saying
Use acknowledgment responses -- use short comments to indicate that you heard and understood the speaker - “That’s a good point”, “I think I can understand your concern about...”
MENTEE
Questioning
Asking effective questions
creates higher level of participation and opens new possibilities for ideas, solutions
explores perceptions and assumptions
demonstrates willingness to listen and desire to understand other’s point of view
MENTEE
Ask open-ended questions
Use interrogative words
+ use: ‘who, what, where, when, how, which and why’
+ when using ‘why’-- pay attention to the tone you use
Begin by asking general questions and become more specific
Place questions appropriately within the conversation in order to draw out and clarify
Dialogue Skills: Questioning
MENTEE
What tactics does a Mentor use?
MENTOR
Empathic Listening
Routine, frequent, direct communication
“Assignments” of development initiatives
Reference on protocols and [product] knowledge
Focus individuals energies on business priorities
Stimulate and reinforce through: Feedback, advise, high-gain questions
Install winning attitudes and standards Effectively confront negative intentions and behaviors Teach and reinforce the values needed to achieve company vision / mission
Build self-esteem through encouragement
Characteristics of Successful Mentors
Sees people as individuals and therefore deals with them as such
Encourages mentee to take responsibility for own development and encourages individuals to stretch themselves
Provides support & guidance, when necessary
Gives people relevant amount of time
Sets and agrees realistic targets and action plans with the mentee regularly
Monitors and reviews the progress of the mentee & themselves on a regular basis
Questions and actively listens to the mentee
Provides feedback to the mentee
Coaches the individual when appropriate
Able to communicate well and build rapport with mentee
Evaluates the process and own performance at the end of the program
MENTOR
Becoming an Effective Mentor?
Guide: to understand the corporate culture, expectations, and taboos.
A Leader: of the exploration of ideas and reasonable risk taking in learning.
(Assistant) Coach: Assist the mentee to identify and solve problems
Role Model: of ethical, productive behaviors
Counsel: confront negative intentions or behaviors.
Trainer: repeat, practice, demonstrate, clarify, fill in gaps skills training.
Story-teller: to share new paradigms
Confidante: in times of personal and work-related crisis.
Advisor: of rare, appropriate and timely advice.
Observer: of behaviors, shared through feedback
Champion: of standards, values, mission, goals, and results
MENTOR
Mentor Skills
Feedback is….. Providing individual with information about their current behavior and
performance based on observations. Feedback tells individual what the are doing well and what they need to improve.
Coaching is….. Unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.
By providing direction and guidance, coaching is helping them to learn and discover how they can develop themselves and improve performance.
MENTOR
Assessment Skills:Descriptive vs. Judgmental Feedback
Descriptive -- Detailed description of what happened. Includes the
behavior and indicates the outcome.
“You are adding value by consistently bringing new ideas to the
team.”
Judgmental--Subjective conclusions. Includes outcome but does not
include the behavior.
“You are valuable to this team.”
MENTOR
Examining the Current Situation
What is the present situation in more detail?
What is your concern about it?
What action steps have you taken on it so far?
What barriers might you have to consider?
What resources do you already have? Skill, time, enthusiasm, money, support, etc.?
What other resources will you need? Where will you get them from?
What has worked?
What could have been better?
Dialogue Skills: Asking Effective Questions
MENTOR
Exploring Options and Alternatives
What are all the different ways in which you could approach this issue?
What other ideas do you have for how to …?
What difference would that make?
What else might you consider?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of each of these?
What would give the best result?
How might that help to improve your performance?
Which of these solutions appeals to you most, or feels best to you?
Which would give you the most satisfaction?
Have you thought about trying …?
MENTOR
Dialogue Skills: Asking Effective Questions
Determining Future Course of Action
Which option or options do you choose?
To what extent does this meet your objectives?
What are your criteria and measurements for success?
When are your timeframes for starting and finishing each action step?
How will you approach that situation in the future?
How can I further support you?
MENTOR
Dialogue Skills: Asking Effective Questions
Dealing with Reactions
How do you deal with an individual who:Disagrees
Becomes defensive
Rationalizes examples
– Do not argue back. Try rephrasing your feedback in different terms. Withhold judgments.
– Explain how the behavior affected you. Speak precisely. Be considerate.
– Encourage the person to think about the feedback & postpone the session until another time.
– Rephrase your feedback to ensure your phrasing is not too harsh.
– Explain how the behavior affected you.
– Provide feedback on the defensive behavior and coach on how to re-examine the feedback.
– Go back to beginning of the model and ask if this is a good time to share some feedback…if not, then postpone the session until another time.
– Emphasize they could be “even more effective if….”
– If the individual continues to rationalizing, you are probably encountering defensiveness.
MENTOR
Ensuring a Successful Relationship
Respect Schedule a time to meet with your mentee to discuss the importance of mutual respect. Openly discuss with your mentee your perception of the respect level in your relationship. Reflect on what changed in your mentoring relationship to result in the loss of respect, and then determine
what it will take to get it back. Adopt an attitude of generous thinking - assume the best intentions on behalf of your mentee.
Responsiveness Review if your requests are important or merely urgent. Communicate openly to your mentee about the seeming lack of responsiveness, and seek new solutions. Ask your mentee to help you schedule meetings that are more conducive to both of you. Prioritize requests so that your most important needs are met.
Accountability Ask your mentee what s/he expects of you and see if you both have the same understanding. Help your mentee understand your needs and perceptions. Provide your mentee with more specific feedback on his/her performance. Help your mentee determine more measurable areas of performance.
MENTOR
Why the mentoring process could result in poor development, progress or performance.
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Situation 1
A mentor continues to give a mentee pleasantries rather than any firm feedback on their strengths or improvement areas.
What might be the cause of this ?
Situation 2
During your mentoring sessions you feel that your mentee is being flippant about the whole process. He tends not to undertake the various action points that have been mutually agreed.
What might be the cause of this ?
Situation 3
Throughout the sessions a mentor has limited a mentee’s working through of possible solutions to situations. The mentor tends to make their opinions known quickly about what should be done and about their suggestions.
What might be the cause of this ?
A Final Word On Mentoring...
Mentoring is a relationship. Based on mutuality—you and your mentor collaborate in your development. There needs to be collaborative negotiation and joint accountability about what is to
be learned, how the transfer of learning will take place, and how the learning will be monitored and evaluated.
Must be able to express respect to respond freely and honestly about strengths, weaknesses, goals and concerns, the learning will be greatly enhanced.
Mentoring involves sharing. Involves freely giving thoughts, opinions, concepts, ideas, experiences, hunches,
techniques and learning to one another.
Mentoring involves the development of the Mentee (and Mentor). Keep the mentee’s professional and personal development goals at the center of
your activities and conversations. However, two-way development is encouraged through the sharing of resources and
time with each other, which benefits both you and your mentor.