YOUR ATTITUDE IN
MARRIAGE MATTERSWhat are you looking for in your marriage?
How do you want to see your marriage
improve? You must hence change your
attitude.
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A good attitude will help your
marriage succeed.
Many times marriages fail, not
because of a lack of love, but
because spouses do not have a
good attitude.
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Your attitude has a huge impact
on your marriage. Unsuccessful
couples seem to find something
wrong, even in good times,
while successful couples strive
for an attitude of gratitude, even
in bad times.
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Marriage is supposed to grow. When people join in marriage, they are both amateurs. The attitude that they will possess can make the marriage grow or die. The big question is: WHAT ATTITUDE DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE?
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Your outlook in marriage begins
with your thinking on what you
allow your mind to dwell on—it
shows up in your attitude.
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Philippians 4:8
‘Finally, brothers, whatever is
true, whatever is noble, whatever
is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable--if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy--think
about such things’. (NIV)
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I would agree with the Apostle
Paul fully. This is fully a positive
attitude. Most people don’t
enter into marriage with a
positive attitude. They come
doubting whether it will work or
not.
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1 Corinthians 13:4-7
‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not
envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps no record
of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres’. (NIV)
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This is really positive attitude. If you love your spouse, you will always go an extra mile to ensure he/she is comfortable. This is the most important person in life. Enjoy times pamoja. (Pamoja is a Kiswahili word meaning together)
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If you come into the marriage
with negative thoughts, I can
assuredly advise you not to try.
It will not work out well. You will
either cause pain or you will
experience pain in that
marriage.
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One reason attitudes are so important is that they affect your actions–that is your behavior and words.
The reality is that you may not be able to control your environment but you are responsible for what you do within your environment. Your attitude will greatly influence your behavior.
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If you want to know your
attitude, look at your words and
behavior. If your words are
critical and negative, then you
have a negative attitude.
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If your behavior is designed to hurt or get back at your spouse, then you have a negative attitude. Guarding the attitude is the most powerful thing you can to affect your behavior. And, your behavior greatly influences your spouse.
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Maintaining a positive attitude
in a troubled marriage may
seem impossible, but the
Christian couple can seek the
Lord’s intervention. Asking the
Lord to help you in your
marriage will see your marriage
succeed.
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The way you view your spouse
and the thoughts that you have
towards your spouse are very
important aspects in improving
your attitude in marriage.
A positive attitude can save a
difficult situation.
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YOUR ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING IN
YOUR MARRIAGE.
If you are expecting and anticipating that your spouse is going to be complaining, that is what you are going to hear more of. Since you are expecting it, it will be what stands out most when your husband or wife speaks to you.
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If you expect your spouse to be
dissatisfied with you then you
are going to prepare an
appropriate response in
advance, even when that might
not have been your intention.
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Your Attitude Determines Your
Feelings and Actions
How you think about your
spouse, and what you think
about your spouse, will
determine your feelings and
actions.
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Attitude is what you get after you
develop a style of thinking
(positive or negative) and then
practice it so well that it seems
like you don't even have to think
it out before you respond.
Having an attitude is like pre-
thinking your next response.
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Negative attitude is what is
killing the marriages and it
brings lots of frustrations in
life. The children, unfortunately
will also be affected by the
negative attitude in the family.
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POSITIVE ATTITUDES IN MARRIAGE
A. Watch out for your own negative attitudes where you predict negative responses from your spouse.
When your spouse has a repetitive negative response to your behavior, think about the criticism and what you can do to make life better for the most important person in your world.
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B. Change your thinking and
your emotions will follow. Erase
your negative expectations and,
as much as possible, meet each
other with a clean attitude.
Expect to enjoy each other and
you're more likely to.
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If you are newly dating you
should try to change your
attitude, adjust your behavior,
and spend more time together,
no matter how busy you are.
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If you are serious about
improving your marriage you
have to examine your own
attitudes and be prepared to
make changes.
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If a negative attitude is wearing
your marriage out, make the
intentional decision to change
it. Identify what causes
negativity in your marriage. The
next time it occurs, try
something different.
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Always seek people that have
great attitudes. Learn from
them. Ask how they keep a
good attitude in difficult
situations.
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The cost of having a bad
attitude is high. Your attitude
affects everything in your life.
It’s the lens through which you
see the world.
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Taking charge of your
relationship in a positive way,
and with a positive attitude, can
lead you to a marriage that is
better than ever.
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