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The Secret Charisma Chronicles

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Want to know how to be irresistibly charismatic? Learn 10 ways to have more people love you, listen to you and respect you; clients want to work with you; media to choose you and just generally have the world pay more attention to you. Cultivate your own brand of charisma here.
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1 THE SECRET CHARISMA CHRONICLES The power of charisma. Learn the art of becoming irresistibly charismatic
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Page 1: The Secret Charisma Chronicles

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THE SECRET CHARISMACHRONICLES

The power of charisma. Learn the art of becoming irresistibly charismatic

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Do you light up a room?

Do you crave more respect than the average person?

Do you want people to adore you without huge effort?

Do you want to exude bucket loads of self confidence?

Do you want to seem extremely powerful without force?

Do you want to easily get what you want?

Well, read on......

Many people can name charismatic people, but rarely can they say why they are charismatic, its like trying to define charisma!

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Why, charisma?

Do you have the “c” factor?

So who has got it?

How can you get it? confidence

have a bold vision

be passionate

communicationstylevisibility

mystery and enigma

Inner gamecelebrate your uniqueness

get into your body and know it

Now, go cultivate charisma

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Why, charisma? Charisma is probably THE most sought after personality trait in the world.

Some people just fascinate us! Really fascinate us all. Some people, no matter what they look like, or how much money they have or their background, just captivate everyone they speak to. ey can merely walk into a room and instantly are a hit. Charismatic people have something about them that just makes you like them!

Its a mysterious sort of magnetism that inspires confidence and respect. Like beauty, luck and social position, charisma can open many doors in life, However unlike these other qualities, anyone can become more charismatic. e whole premise of the world famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, Dale Carnegie’s hugely successful book, is that you can learn and cultivate charisma.

Here’s the deal. We all have access to that energy. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what you look like, or what size you are. is powerful, enticing, delicious energy is your birth right. Charisma is more than just eye contact and listening and remembering names.

In this e-book, I am looking it from a foundational perspective - to create lasting and permanent charisma, not just a ‘fake style you turn on and off’. Because truly

charismatic people aren’t only that way when they want to be, or want something - that is who they are.

I think that being charismatic is about being the best version of yourself.

Charisma is a fascinating topic, and a very sought after skill by everyone!! It might have a few other titles, like ‘x factor’ ‘more likeable’ ‘popular’ or many others.

We all have a degree of charisma. Why waste such a potentially valuable asset. With some education and insights, all of us, in whatever walk of life we find ourselves, can develop and enjoy this most exciting gift in ourselves and others.

So this fresh and comprehensive little document will show you how to be as charismatic as you can possibly be. Its an art!

Charisma is about living the life without resisting what is, living the life you want to live on your terms, doing the job or business that lights you up, really liking other people, really going out and experiencing all life has to offer, unashamedly giving your opinions without fear of disapproval, doing the things that you desire to do, being someone who is sought after for something, caring about others,and of course really liking yourself, to name but a few. Charisma is a big and open field.

I have researched the globe and looked at everything available, hanging out with and studying some truly charismatic people, I have found the most important elements that make up a delicious dose of charisma.

I have put it all on the table here for you. Do as much or little of it as you want, remember if you are serious about it – then do what is recommended. Note, people who are successful do everything they can to make it happen. I am giving you the information, all you have to do is commit and do it.

So, who has got it?

Are you born with it or can you create it? n

Do you have it?

How can you get it? What are the Keys to Charisma?

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Do you have the “c” factor?How do you know if you have the “C Factor”?

e ‘c factor’ or ‘x factor’ as it is sometimes called, is the difference between Margaret atcher, e Iron Lady and John Major; Obama from John McCain; and Madonna from her many imitators.

Some interesting synonyms for charismatic are alluring, bewitching, captivating, fascinating, charming, enchanting, engaging, magnetic and seductive.

Does anyone describe you that way?Charisma is powerful, and charismatic people can make others ‘do anything’ they want them to do. When possessed by people like Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson and David Koresh, charisma is dangerously powerful. But when it’s used for good, the ‘anything’ is really really sweet.

Simon Baker who plays Patrick Jane in e Mentalist TV show is someone that is often described as having the ‘c factor’. He always looks at the person he is communicating with; he has a little cheeky grin on his face

which makes people intrigued; he often playfully touches someone on the arm to emphasise a point; he looks like he is having a great time and that he thinks he is pretty great; he makes jokes and likes to be funny, he compliments others.... lots of things that make a person seem charismatic. e most interesting to me is that he smiles with his mouth and eyes, that speaks ‘genuine’!! He means it.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you are utilising this skill:

Do you easily network and build contacts for your job or business?

Do you enjoy and are comfortable going out and socialising?

Do you feel empowered and uplifted in your relationships?

Are people drawn to you?

Are you a ‘connector’?

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Barack and Michelle Obama, and Hillary and Bill Clinton all have it. Bill, who in my humble and many others opinion has it in bucket loads. He is one of the most famous people who have been described as been deeply charismatic. Many say its cause he makes you feel like you are (if you are a woman) the sexiest woman in the world, or if a man that he has known you for years and whatever you say is fascinating.

Sean Connery! Most of us remember Sean Connery for many movie roles, from his James Bond, which shot him to stardom, to Ecco`s “Name of the Rose”. Even though he is in his 80’s, he lives with style, loves whiskey and drinks martini’s, plays golf, seems to love women, is a hypochondriac, wants Scotland`s independence, lives in the Bahamas, Los Angeles and Spain. Who would not want to grow old with him?

Jon Bon Jovi has been renowned for being and making the most of his appeal. ose eyes and the way he carries himself.

Oprah Winfrey’s key to charisma seems to be her vulnerability and visibility. She allows us to see everything that is going on with her.

Bono, of the band U2 is also well-known for being charismatic. He regularly consults with presidents and prime ministers using his celebrity for exceptional good. Even previous President George W Bush, whom, one suspects, is a little less into the cult of rock celebrity

says 'Bono has a willingness to lead, to achieve what his heart tells him, and that is nobody - nobody - should be living in poverty and hopelessness'. at is a man who lives his vision with passion.

Nelson Mandela led a whole nation – enough said!

Who do you know that has it?

‘Charisma is a sparkle in people that money can't buy. It's an invisible energy with visible effects."

Marianne Williamson

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How you can get it: The Keys:

Now this is a big topic. I say you do anything to make yourself feel good, hence making you feel more confident. If you like yourself, others will be drawn to you. Like attracts like – I’m sorry but its true. Believe in you and others will follow. I know its not that easy for everyone. e thing is we are all born with it, (there are not confident babies, and unconfident babies) and the key is to keep it and not let it get knocked out of us along the way. Its got to be reinforced and nurtured by people in your environment.

Here are some big ideas to try –

- if you don’t feel confident, seek out some way to help you. Get a coach, do a course, read a book, do something. Cause this is a foundational piece of not only being charismatic but being human. Don’t complain about it, find a solution that suits you.

- Feel good physically. If you feel good on the outside, it shows. Take care of your skin, nails and hair. If you have to get a pedicure, do it – feel good from the ground up and pick a fab colour and wear some sandals to show it off. Get a facial, buy some products that make YOU feel good. ere are no excuses here, the range of products from low to higher in price is abundant. When you look good, you feel good. Enough said!

- one really great thing I have found to make you feel amazing is get a signature scent. at’s right, smell great. Now there are so many fragrances out there, but imagine being unique and having one made for you. ere are a few great places to get these made I recommend it highly. Scent is something that evokes memories and emotions, if you want people to remember you(charismatic people are definitely memorable) then this is a great way. It will make you feel fabulous. I have one that is a mix of Egyptian musk, amber, sandalwood and vanilla with a little tangerine thrown in! Bliss!

-STOP worrying about what people think. When you do this worrying, you are not feeling confidence in yourself or your own ability. is will, hands down, cripple you and stop what you are doing. Sometimes confidence means daring to be different, after all if you don’t think you are the greatest being that ever walked the earth, then no one else will. Do one thing every day that is hard – cold call someone, wear something different to what you normally do. AND, the more you are confident in you, the less you care a pig’s hoot about what others think of you! I used to aspire to this for a long long time, and let me tell you, its possible to get there.

cultivate confidence

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Do you know what you want your world to be like? Your reality? Finding your vision is truly important, its very grounding and also allows you to know where you are going. Cause you can’t know how to get somewhere unless you know where you are going.

ey say the most important and first key to manifesting anything in your life is clarity, knowing what it is you want.

Remember “Life is not coming at you, its coming from you’ by Jason Mraz, the singer. So whatever you have within you, your vision. will become your ‘life experience’. So it might be a good idea to create one you want, rather than just go along with the one the status quo has.

Having a vision inspires others, heck, it inspires you. Communicating it is key as well. Share it.

One of the most famous examples of communicating a bold vision comes from legendary entrepreneur Steve Jobs. Jobs convinced one-time Pepsi CEO John Scully to take the helm of Apple by asking him, "Do you want to sell sugared water the rest of your life, or do you want a chance to change the world?" Scully didn't take long to take up the challenge.

What do you want your life to stand for? You have to stand for something, so choose what it is rather than just being a sheep and following along with everyone else is doing. Fine out what makes you joyful and fired up, and create a life around it.

Try this:

Write your own eulogy. What do you want people to say about when you are gone. Its kind of a confronting but insightful exercise. If you know what you want to be and to achieve by the end of your life, then you have a better idea of what to do NOW.

Passion is infectious. Passion also inspires, motivates and uplifts. Passionate individuals establish and convey an emotional connection with their topic. the founder of Starbucks Howard Schultz once related that he communicates by telling stories. For example, when he tried to get skeptical investors to back the concept behind the "Bean Stock" program offering health benefits and stock options to part-timers, he told the story of his father who was left without a safety net when he broke his leg at work. Schultz is committed to building a company that treats employees with dignity and respect. Underlying this commitment emotionally helps convey its impact, and his passion.

What to do:Know your passions, the only way to do this is try lots of things and see what resonates.

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be passionate

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is is the most prized gift of the charismatic person. e best communicators interact with passion, energy and enthusiasm. It’s not only your mouth that talks, its you whole being that broadcasts a message. Also, its not what you say, its the way you deliver it.

ey also do more the following:

Smile more. Make it a genuine smile from within. You know if you smile and put your hand across your mouth, look at your eyes - that is where you can tell if someone is being genuine. A true smile is found in the eyes as well. Don’t insult us with a fake smile. In fact a UC Berkley study showed that women who smiled from the inside; that is eyes and mouth, stayed married for longer and had a more solid sense of wellbeing. at is enough incentive for me!!

Listen and look at people in the eyes. Listen actively. Give them your undivided attention. e best way to retain information is to ask questions. ere is nothing like the feeling of being ‘truly listened’ to. I find it a rare quality in people these days. Human beings crave being listened to without judgement. Also people tend to remember good listeners as positive people. Looking at people in the eye just shows you acknowledge them, and its courteous as well as making them feel you are there.

Be light hearted and amused. I know it sounds odd but it truly is a great tip. Look at Simon Baker on the hit show “e Mentalist” he always looks amused, and is seriously charismatic. George Clooney is also someone else who always looks amused by life. You will come across as more relaxed and fun, and ‘lighter’, and others will feel that lightness around you.

Don’t take life too seriously, it really is like a beacon you send out; if you are too serious and uptight about everything, it ain’t fun to be around you.

Be you and be socially free. is is about being less self conscious and inhibited. Don’t allow what you ‘think’ others are thinking of you to stop you doing what you want. Don’t think everyone is looking at your socks that don’t coordinate. Or girls, don’t think that everyone thinks your hair needs dying or your skirt is too short. Or that people are talking about you, or judging you or thinking you are not good at something. Most people have a full time job worrying about themselves and judging themselves. Its important to remember when you are overly concerned about what other people may think of you and the way you look or what you do, you then often act in reaction to what you think they might say or do. erefore you can’t be your most genuine and best self.

‘Another name for charisma could be chutzpah’

communicate like a star

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Be present. People like Bill Clinton and Oprah have this down to a fine art. ey command respectful attention because being present creates an intense focus. If you stop thinking about the past, and the future when you are engaged in conversation with others, this will be easier for you.

Don’t look over your shoulder to see if there is anyone else better to talk to you, or to find an exit. If you make the effort to actually be genuinely interested in people you often find interesting things. Focus on what’s right in front of you. Or around you. Or on you. Use your senses, all of them; touch, sense, smell, feeling or intuition, hearing etc. Just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel. When you do something, do it with your whole heart, with all your attention and focus, and you will find you get so much more out of it. And people will feel that attention and focus.

Covet Curiosity. A childlike curiosity about life is a luscious quality that shows warmth and charm. Laugh at yourself! Kids can laugh so hard at themselves and others, its beautiful to watch. When you are stuck in fear you are closed up. You tend to create division in your world and mind. You create barriers between you and other things/people. When you shift to being curious the world just opens up. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear.

Look like you are enjoying yourself. People who look like they are enjoying themselves are hugely magnetic. Back to old Bill Clinton, he really looks like he enjoys the company of both men and women; evident cause they both seem to love his company too.

Use social contact If you’ve ever watched Bill Clinton in action, you’ve seen his effective use of social contact. With the skill of a seasoned politician, Clinton is constantly patting people on the back and enthusiastically shaking hands. He radiates positive energy; he’s both kinetic and magnetic. You can channel some of Clinton’s legendary charisma by using social contact too. You don’t want to be too touchy-feely but don’t hesitate to shake hands or pat someone's back for a job well done.

Tell stories Charismatic people inspire others by telling stories, these create emotion and feelings. Involve people in the storytelling, and create atmosphere, tension and excitement. Create a real experience for people with power packed language, sights, sounds and smells - get them totally engaged in your vision.

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When we refer to style its about what you wear, how you speak, how you carry yourself and what you possessions you choose.

Style is about being unique and different, standing out from the crowd and charismatic people are courageous and don’t care what others think. they are not like anyone else, super unique, one in a million!! at is the aim! Don’t copy other peoples style, use them only as an influence, but when you copy someone else you deny your own style.

"Don’t be someone else’s slogan, cause you are poetry” Gwen Cummings

Don’t aimlessly adopt the dress, expressions and behaviour of anyone else in a desperate attempt to be charismatic. Get to know what you like and don’t like, and make up your own style. Don’t become a slave to fashion and wearing the latest styles and colours. I can tell you, if I did i would look ridiculous. Instead learn what your body shape is, and the colours that suit you - and for goodness sake wear them. Its like knowing that orange is a bad colour on you, but buying and wearing it anyway cause its in fashion.

A few suggestions for you:-It is personal and unique and is meant to be enjoyed. choose your style by instinct; you know what you like. Take sometimes to listen to yourself versus other people

- when you are uncomfortable in your clothes, others can tell from the way you

carry yourself. So only choose what you love and are comfortable with.

- - if you are unsure of your body shape and what suits you, for goodness sake hire an image consultant.

- - you don’t have to wear Gucci and Prada to have great style either. You can do it on a budget for sure!

- - as mentioned style is not just about what you wear; its about how to carry yourself and what possessions you buy etc. Remember it all goes together to create your unique style.

- - Remember there are no style rules in the world, you can create anything you want, as long as it is uniquely you. If you have trouble finding your style, do a little research in magazines, videos, people watch in the street, go sit in a cafe in a busy area and just watch.... you will get truly inspired. Look at what celebrities wear that are the same size, skin tone as you.... not the ones that are the opposite to you. be real, and that is where your style will evolve from.

- ‘true charisma is something quite different from the kind of dazzle, the kind of instant appeal," he said. "True charisma leaves a much warmer and much more lasting light."

Nelson Mandela’s biographer.-

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When people describe charismatic people, they often say they have that certain something that can’t be described, that mystery! Don’t give it all up, and don’t be a ‘secret agent’ either.

Don’t tell everyone, everything little thing about yourself straight away, let it unfold organically. Mystery is a positive attribute in the case of charismatic people, it sets them apart from the rest. ere is nothing cooler than seeing what makes people tick....

Charismatic people are energetic, intriguing, exciting, enigmatic and mysterious.

Some suggestions:- You don’t always have to tell people everything that you think, give them some of your experiences or thoughts...... let them talk too. Silence can be powerful.

-Work out where your charm lies, or in other words, where or what you shine at, then do that as much as you can.

-People who have charisma have real magic, they can inspire you to do things that we wouldn’t normally do, just with a look sometimes.

"There can be no power without mystery. There must always be a 'something' which others cannot altogether fathom, which puzzles them, stirs them, and rivets their attention.... Nothing more enhances authority than silence. It is the crowning virtue of the strong, the refuge of the weak, the modesty of the proud, the pride of the humble, the prudence of the wise, and the sense of fools."— Charles de Gaulle

e most charismatic people in this world empower others when you are near them. ey make people around them feel happy, funny, heard and good about themselves. e trait of empowerment is a typical one for charismatic people, they allow you to feel you can relate to them and their journey. Will Smith, the actor is truly masterful at this.

One of the most important things to remember in this world is that the more power you give others, the more they will perceive you as being powerful. Ask others about themselves, rather than always talking about yourself. Make them feel good about what they are doing, offer some valuable comments. Make them feel like when they walk away from you, that you really made a difference to their life. Making people feel special, allows you to feel the same way about yourself.

ere is a famous story of a woman who had dinner with two English statesmen Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone: “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.”

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You have got to have a strong inner game, another word for that is ‘mindset’. It should be strong, clear and clean.

It has been said that in order to magnetising, you have to immerse your brain with oxytocin (the feel good hormone), causing your mindset to magically change, then your behaviour will change and people will be magnetised to you and seek you out. It starts in the mind.

In order to get to that place, its important to do a few things:- you have to let go of regrets. is is such a heavy load on your mind and acts as a point of orientation - you are always mentally referring back to the regrets stopping you from living and enjoying life now, and chances are you are the only one fixated on it. Apologise for it in whatever way you can, and to whoever needs it and then let it go..

- Forgive and forget – you have to find a way to do this. ere are so many options available to you; try some therapy, write a letter, make a video to the person concerned (you don’t have to send it); write in your journal about it UNTIL you feel it has shifted somewhat. Its like a heavy load you carry. Get some help from a psychologist, counsellor or coach.

-Just be an optimist! Be positive and create a positive environment around you. Hang with those that make you feel good about you, and don’t’ doubt your dreams.

- "There is no personal charm so great as the charm of a cheerful temperament."

— Henry Van Dyke

- Focus on what you actually have control over. you can’t control the weather, you can’t control what other people will do or how they will react to what you say or do; you only have control of your own actions, and how you react or respond to anything. Do what you think is right, and that is your only responsibility.

- Expect everyday of your life to be the best. What you expect, is what you’ll get. Expecting is different to wishing, mind you. Just expect it cause you know its going to happen. Wishing infers it might go either way. People with strong inner game always expect life to be good.

Practice your inner game

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We have all at one point or another other felt like an outcast, the black sheep.... Its only natural in the society we have constructed.

Up until now, society has not really allowed us to celebrate our special talents or uniqueness. But we live in an amazing time now, there are so many changes that are occurring in the world; and there is a shift where we are seeing more and more people being who they are, being their kooky and unique selves.

Its my belief that this began with the avalanche of popularity that reality TV had. ink about it, here are people just being themselves and having millions and millions of people watching them of their own volition. It introduced us to this concept of ordinary people being interesting, or that everyone has some that is interesting about them. ere is the concept now of the ‘everyday celebrity’. ere is youtube where you can upload you doing anything you like, it doesn’t even have to be interesting; there are talent shows on every network from cooking to singing; you can self publish a book; make a very professional movie on the software program iMovie on a Mac computer, even put out an album made on programs like ‘garageband’. Whatever you want to do, there is some way to do it.

I like to think of it as us celebrating just being who we are.

Do you just want to fit in? Well what we realise now is that through our uniqueness and acceptance of our own ‘weirdness’ or uniqueness, that we do in fact become popular and liked.

What are some ways to celebrate your uniqueness:-create a youtube channel and do some little videos about whatever you want to talk about.

-stop wearing black clothes. wear clothes that reflect who you are.

-write a book, don’t worry about it getting published, just write your life story. Include pictures in it and quotes, live as if the book will be published. Celebrate your life, with all the crazy moments, painful and difficult events...

- - Say ‘no’ to something you really want to say no to.

- - buy something to wear that you really really love, don’t worry about whether its cool, fashionable or whatever. Just buy it.

- - get some photos taken of yourself, dancing at the beach, climbing trees, kissing someone at sunset, dressed in a beautiful dress, with a trophy like you have won something.

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Confidence breeds confidence. People who are confident know themselves and most importantly know their body, and are confident and comfortable in their own skin. ere comes a time when you either have to accept the body you have or commit to do something about it.

My best suggestions are:- buy underwear that fits you and is

beautiful. Doesn’t have to be either/or. Actually buy clothes that fit you, don’t look at the size EVER. ere is no standardisation in clothing sizing, you can be a size 8 in one label and a size 14 in another, so what does it matter anyway.

- Seek out a fab tailor to make sure your clothes fit you perfectly. Off the rack clothing does not fit everyone EVER so make it fit you.

- Move your body. Go sweat to the beat - Go dance OR go commune with nature for a walk, or even jump on a treadmill, do some Pilates. Moving your body moves the energy around and this produces the oxytocin mentioned earlier. Moving is vital to humans. Key for me is great music, put your headphones on and get into your favourite music. ere are so many websites out there now where you can get great playlists. No excuses.

- Stand in front of the mirror (I know the thought might make you cringe but do it). Learn to appreciate each part of your body. Get some awesome smelling body lotion and massage each part of your body and say how much you love and appreciate it. I promise you it works.

- Want to look good naked? at is the ultimate form of confidence in your self. Body confidence. Start to affirm to yourself the good things about your body: do you have beautiful breasts, or long and lean arms. Find something you like and say “i love my strong and fit shoulders”. I remember in “Pulp Fiction” the movie, there was a scene with Bruce Willis and his girlfriend, and she actually says she wants a little pot belly. She says: “If I had a little pot belly, I would wear a T-shirt two sizes too small, to accentuate it.'' A little later she observes, ``It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye are seldom the same.'' at is paradoxical don’t you think, particularly with our current society’s obsession with ‘thin’.

- Be open and easily approachable. Practice walking up to someone and smiling, making eye contact and shaking their hand and introducing yourself.

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Now, you know a lot about being charismatic is about making the other person/people feel good. And you inspire that and transfer that into them by being more you, socially uninhibited and genuine, by being fully present, by being positive and open and confident in yourself.So maybe the lesson here is being yourself and bringing out these qualities we have looked at here, you bring more of these or other positive qualities in yourself, and as a consequence, in other people. Cause really being around a charismatic person often makes you feel like the only person in the room

You do have these qualities, but you have to practice, bring awareness to it and have the courage to make them stronger and bring them out more consistently. Practice makes permanent!

Remember, probably the most important point about charismatic people, is that they like themselves, and they like other people.

So, start cultivating charisma now, but only aim to have your own style of charisma, don’t copy others.

And the most important one of all........ be true to yourself and like yourself, that is the most charismatic quality you need

NOW, GO CULTIVATE CHARISMA

“If you are absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success”. Will Smith

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