Assertiveness Training by Kaori &

Hisashi

What is ASSERTIVENESS?

ASSERTIVENESS is… The art of saying “NO”

  The ability to communicate one's

own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and

non-aggressive way

3 KINDS of COMMMUNCATORS

PASSIVE…Passive

Allowing someone else’s rights to overshadow one’s own

Easily forced into thinking like someone else

Difficult to express opinions and ideas

Put the tutees needs before one’s self

PROBLEMS with PASSIVENESSA passive tutor…

May feel hurt, anxious, or even angry

May not get the most out of a session, because he or she compromise too much with wishes of tutee

May cause inability to communicate needed information effectively

AGGRESSIVE… Aggressive

No regard for the rights of others May give threats (verbal or physical)

Viewing oneself as superior Refusing to listen to the thoughts and opinions

of others

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PROBLEMS with AGGRESSIVENESSAn aggressive tutor

May cause a conflict between the tutee and themselves

May say things that they do not mean

May make an uncomfortable situation and make tutee a silent type of person

May not take the tutee’s learning style into account or other unique needs

So lets see again WHAT is Assertiveness… ?

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ASSERTIVENESS is …Being able to express oneself without violating the rights of others In other words you are putting yourself in the leadership position without abusing your role or neglecting your responsibilities

WHY Assertiveness?To be able to refuse requests from students when necessary

To avoid being overwhelmed by the demands of others

Keep in mind your responsibilities as tutors, before the needs of your tutees

Being MORE Assertive Be honest without trying to make the other person feel guilty or responsible

Begin statements with “I” rather than “you”

Listen actively Share opinions about some trouble in order to solve the problem together

Learn from bad experiences to handle things differently the next time

Assertiveness and BODY Language

Eye contactUpright postureRelax the shoulders and faceBreath normallyTry to maintain a steady tone of voice during conversation

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SITUATIONS Make pairs, think of and write down the situations where the assertiveness is extremely needed as a skill!!!

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REFERENCES CRLA, ITPC, samples Level 3: Chapter 16, “ASSERTIVENESS”

LLC, Training by Manager Junko Tsukayama “Assertiveness”, January 2011