BE A MENTOR, INC.24301 SOUTHLAND DRIVE, SUITE 504HAYWARD, CA 94545

Prospective Mentors’ Training

Welcome!Please take a seat and help yourself to refreshments!

Training manual and other docs are digital and will be

emailed to you after the training. Feel free to use the provided materials to take

notes!

TRAINING GUIDELINES Maintain

confidentiality Be here now: Turn off

cell phones Respect differences Ask questions Respect other

attendees’ time HAVE FUN!!!

WHAT’S TODAY’S TRAINING ABOUT? Be A Mentor program protocols,

expectations, and current projects Better understanding the issues facing

youth Establish the role of a mentor Understand and demonstrate skilled

mentoring practices

We all come from different experiences and lifestyles.What you need to learn could be vastly different from others’ needs.

There’s a lot we can learn from one another.Let’s start with introductions!

INTRODUCE YOUR PARTNER!Introduce yourself to your partner.

Each person will have 3 minutes to ‘interview’ their partner.Once both of you have had an opportunity to interview…

You will introduce your partner to the group and share: 3 things that YOU THINK make your partner a

GOOD MENTOR!

HOW TO BECOME A MENTOR Make an application at beamentor.org Complete mentor eligibility clearance

items Interview with a coordinator Families are interviewed Coordinator contacts you about a

match Match meeting with family and

coordinator Keep activity logs on your weekly

outings

CURRENT PROJECTS

Pending – Mentors for Cox Elementary black boys, 8-12 years old, east Oakland. Need to reduce recidivism for repeated disciplinary action for class disruption and occasional fighting.

Pending – DreamCatcher homeless & trafficked youth shelter. This program would aim to match 10 youths a month with mentors. Still in the works, not much information.

THE ROLE OF THE MENTOR Academic help Goal-setting Career exploration

assistance Emotional support Exposure to new

things Companionship

WHY DO YOUTHS NEED MENTORS? Peer pressure Substance abuse Sexuality Social skills Anger

management Role-modeling

Mental illness Nutrition &

Health Home pressure Goal-setting Failing grades Absenteeism Bullying

BREAK!We’ll be taking a 5 minute break. Please help yourself to

refreshments.

Bathrooms are back in the hall you entered through, on your left.

Women’s bathroom code is 142Men’s bathroom code is 152

IF I HAD A TIME MACHINE…

STAGES IN A MENTORING RELATIONSHIP –

IT’S A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!

“Honeymo

on”

Period

Trust

Friendship

Testing

“Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.”

Test

ing

Trust

Friendship

“Honeymoon period”-

WHAT SHOULD I SAY?

Mentor:How will you deal with your discomfort with the situation? How will you choose to engage your mentee about it?

Mentee:Pretend you are 13 (just like in the time machine activity) and dealing with the mentor’s described uncomfortable situation. What do you think about the mentor engaging you about it?

What would make you upset to see or hear about when you visit with your mentee?

Take a few minutes to share with your partner what would personally upset you.

Examples: the youth’s home is very filthy; the youth curses a lot; the mentor has observed the youth’s parents yelling at them sometimes

Now, one of you will pretend to be the ‘mentor’ and one will pretend to be the ‘mentee’. The mentee will act out the ‘uncomfortable’ issue and the mentor will choose how to engage. Really think about how YOU would FEEL encountering this ‘pet peeve’ of yours, or in the mentee’s case, the situation. You have 5 minutes!

An exercise in active listening

Tell me a story about a girl who doesn’t do well in school, why she doesn’t do well, and what she could do to be better.

Each person will contribute a line.

Let’s start with: “Kara’s 12th birthday was last week, but she didn’t get to have a birthday party because her grades were so low that Mom was

very mad.”

A STORY TO TELL

ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS• Engage yourself• Keep an open mind• Minimize distractions• Focus solely on

speaker• Respond

appropriately• Maintain eye contact• Paraphrase / restate• Ask for clarification

• Check your assumptions

• Summarize• Reflect on content• Make empathic

connections to content

• Give feedback• Use “I” Statements• Ask questions

BREAK!We’ll be taking a 5 minute break. Please help yourself to

refreshments.

Bathrooms are back in the hall you entered through, on your left.

Women’s bathroom code is 142Men’s bathroom code is 152

TOP 8 MENTORING MISTAKES!

1. Failure to communicate or maintain boundaries

2. Sporadic meetings3. Expecting equal

participation4. Imposing personal values5. Not asking for help from

your coordinator6. Expecting gratitude7. Giving cash, used items,

expensive gifts8. Becoming the parent’s

friend, not the child’s

SKILLS OF AN EFFECTIVE MENTOR

Keeps Relationship

Alive

Involves Youth in

DecisionsRespects Youth’s

Viewpoints

Communicates

Authentically

Allows Youth to Make Mistakes

An EffectiveMentor

Is Committed

Separates Expectations

GUIDELINES FOR DIFFICULT SITUATIONS Discuss the problem. Think beforehand about what you want to accomplish. Bring things up early in visit. Separate the behavior from the person. Stay serious but supportive. Discuss sensitive issues in a private place. Consider relating something personal. Reinforce something positive about your Mentee.

CONFIDENTIALITY When do I break it?

How should I break it?

Scenario 1: You pick your mentee up for lunch.

He seems more distracted than usual. After talking about school for a bit, your mentee reveals that he can’t

concentrate because he hasn’t been getting much sleep. He’s been

sleeping on his friend’s couch for the past couple of weeks because his mom kicked him out of the house

after finding out he’s gay.

Scenario 1: Your mentee has mentioned that she

may be going to a party over the weekend. She laughs while telling

you that “it’s gonna be crazy” and “it sounds like some of my boy’s

connects are going to be there.” While she has never received

punishment for substance abuse, she has continuously made comments insinuating that she does drugs.

When asked, she denies it.

MENTOR COMMITMENT Consistent weekly outings (or more) Weekly telephone contact Consistent contact with parents Attend mentor events At least one year of a mentor relationship Log activities with mentee on our site Don’t be afraid to ask for help!!

Please, help make us better! Fill out the evaluation sheet before you leave!

If you haven’t had an interview with a coordinator yet, let’s set one up before you go!

You’ll be followed up with on Monday and be emailed on what to do next, and be given a training resource manual! It’s all

digital so you can access it whenever you want!

THANK YOU FOR COMING!!