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Presenter:

BUILDING A BOUNCE BACK KID

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

What is Resiliency?

• How do you define resiliency?

What is Resiliency?

• A few definitions:• The ability to positively respond, adapt, and cope

with a stressful experience.

• The ability to bounce back from adversity or life’s challenges.

• “Resilience is the capacity to rise above difficult circumstances, the trait that allows us to exist in this less-than-perfect world while moving forward with optimism and confidence even in the midst of adversity” - K. Ginsburg

What is Resiliency?

• Can you think of a time when you’ve demonstrated resilience?

Werner & Smith

• In the 1950s, studied protective factors in a population of children.

• Found some to be “Vulnerable, but invincible” – but why?

What’s Inside?

Moving from External to Internal Locus of Control

Another Way of Looking At It

“Between stimulus and response, there is a

space. In that space is your power to choose

your response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” - Viktor Frankl

Core Principles

1. Resiliency is a process

2. Resiliency can be cultivated

3. Resiliency is about thriving, not just surviving

Core Principles

Purpose

• Values- how to explore this as a family

• Gifts and strengths

• Structure

• Responsibility

Motivation

• Moving away from the fear incentive:

• Learning from failure

• Reducing perfectionism

• The difference between high achiever and perfectionist

Identity

• Values – what do you stand for and believe in?

• Connecting children to who they come from and where they belong

• Catch kids doing well

• Reflect back what makes them special, when you see grit, when you see effort

Developing confidence

• Opportunities

• Try new things

• Offer genuine praise

• Highlight big and small wins

• Set realistic expectations

• See the strong points in what can be considered “failure”

Decision Making

• Do you feel paralyzed by choice, or excited by the possibilities?

• Do you have a formula or process for making big decisions?

• Chunking technique

Exploring the possibilities

Perception

• Do you have a default view/expectation?

• Challenge

• Opportunity?

• Adversity?

Emotional Intelligence

• What is it?

• Recognizing emotions in yourself and others.

• Reflecting on the triggers for these emotions and your perception of situations vs. the potential perceptions of others.

• Ability to deal with tension,grey areas, and opposingemotions.

Helping children develop EQ

• Notice strong feelings

• Take a few deep breaths

• Name that feeling

• What do I need?

A hug, help, a cry, to talk, etc.

Perceptions

• Cultivating a child's view of self

• Of others

• Default perspectives

• Life is bigger than you think

• Opportunity Vs. adversity

• Excitement Vs. fear

• Courage Vs. bravery

Next Steps

• As a parent, caregiver, educator your self care and ability to prioritize stress management is key

• Take time as a family to explore or reconnect with values, boundaries and routines, have conversations about where you find meaning and purpose

• Connecting with family history, cultural traditions and practices

Resources

Building Resilience in Children & Teens 2nd

Edition Kenneth Ginsburg

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

The Resiliency Workbook Nan Henderson

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