Presenter:

BUILDING A BOUNCE BACK KID

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

What is Resiliency?

• How do you define resiliency?

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

What is Resiliency?

• A few definitions:• The ability to positively respond, adapt, and cope

with a stressful experience.

• The ability to bounce back from adversity or life’s challenges.

• “Resilience is the capacity to rise above difficult circumstances, the trait that allows us to exist in this less-than-perfect world while moving forward with optimism and confidence even in the midst of adversity” - K. Ginsburg

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

What is Resiliency?

• Can you think of a time when you’ve demonstrated resilience?

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Werner & Smith

• In the 1950s, studied protective factors in a population of children.

• Found some to be “Vulnerable, but invincible” – but why?

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

What’s Inside?

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Moving from External to Internal Locus of Control

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Another Way of Looking At It

“Between stimulus and response, there is a

space. In that space is your power to choose

your response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” - Viktor Frankl

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Core Principles

1. Resiliency is a process

2. Resiliency can be cultivated

3. Resiliency is about thriving, not just surviving

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Core Principles

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Purpose

• Values- how to explore this as a family

• Gifts and strengths

• Structure

• Responsibility

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Motivation

• Moving away from the fear incentive:

• Learning from failure

• Reducing perfectionism

• The difference between high achiever and perfectionist

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Identity

• Values – what do you stand for and believe in?

• Connecting children to who they come from and where they belong

• Catch kids doing well

• Reflect back what makes them special, when you see grit, when you see effort

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Developing confidence

• Opportunities

• Try new things

• Offer genuine praise

• Highlight big and small wins

• Set realistic expectations

• See the strong points in what can be considered “failure”

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Decision Making

• Do you feel paralyzed by choice, or excited by the possibilities?

• Do you have a formula or process for making big decisions?

• Chunking technique

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Exploring the possibilities

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Perception

• Do you have a default view/expectation?

• Challenge

• Opportunity?

• Adversity?

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Emotional Intelligence

• What is it?

• Recognizing emotions in yourself and others.

• Reflecting on the triggers for these emotions and your perception of situations vs. the potential perceptions of others.

• Ability to deal with tension,grey areas, and opposingemotions.

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Helping children develop EQ

• Notice strong feelings

• Take a few deep breaths

• Name that feeling

• What do I need?

A hug, help, a cry, to talk, etc.

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Perceptions

• Cultivating a child's view of self

• Of others

• Default perspectives

• Life is bigger than you think

• Opportunity Vs. adversity

• Excitement Vs. fear

• Courage Vs. bravery

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Next Steps

• As a parent, caregiver, educator your self care and ability to prioritize stress management is key

• Take time as a family to explore or reconnect with values, boundaries and routines, have conversations about where you find meaning and purpose

• Connecting with family history, cultural traditions and practices

The Canadian Mental Health Association, Kelowna

Resources

Building Resilience in Children & Teens 2nd

Edition Kenneth Ginsburg

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

The Resiliency Workbook Nan Henderson