Post on 13-May-2020
transcript
A Family Mystery Dinner Theater
Written By Neesa Hart
Cartoon Capers, Copyright 2017
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SHOW SYNOPSIS: Everyone’s favorite classic Saturday morning cartoon characters have gathered for SatoonCon, the Saturday morning cartoon characters conference held by the country’s biggest cartoon multi-‐conglomerate, Mega TV Network. Once attendees have had a chance to rub elbows with the likes of Fred & Wilma Flintstone, George & Jane Jetson, Captain Caveman, Popeye & Olive Oyl, Bugs Bunny, and many others, they proceed to the dining hall for the evening’s big keynote dinner. But the company’s CEO is missing! Foul play is suspected and the worst is feared. It will take one of the cartoon world’s greatest criminal minds to unravel this mystery… Inspector Gadget! Even with the help of Velma Dinkley & Daphne Blake (Scooby-‐Doo) will Inspector Gadget get to the bottom of this mystery before the end of the night? Join us for an evening of nostalgia, fun, food, and great detective work by you, the audience.
STORY LOCATION: Local city convention center TIME FRAME: Evening Any time of year.
STAGE SET: Unit Set. Stage is split with stage right being a conference stage set up as an area for presentations and keynote speaking. Stage left is backstage with crates, boxes, tables and barrels etc.
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CAST LIST
Amelia Baze Angelica Pickles
Addie Rose Hendrix Pebbles Flintstone
Aria Cochran Captain Caveman
Bethany Eversole Jane Jetson
Buffi Crouch Granny (with Tweety)
Courtney Cochran Witch Hazel
Ella Grace Van Fleet Betty Rubble
Hailey May Elroy Jetson
Jack Chambers Marvin the Martian
Jenna Moss Brainy Smurf
Joel Whitesell Phil DeVille
Karen Stoll Linda Jamison
Karen West Rosie the Robot
Lacy Lumpkin Wonder Woman
Maxwell Stoll Boris Badenov
Megan Robinson Natasha Fatale
Mia Lucas Judy Jetson
Mia Medlin Smurfette
Olivia Hardy Wilma Flintstone
Ryan Hulsey George Jetson
Ryan Jensen Inspector Gadget
Sarah Grayce Crouch Daphne Blake
Sarah Moss Lillian DeVille
Sierra Whitesell Velma Dinkley
Zach Baze Batman
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Dale Dye Director
Hannah Riddle Stage Manager
Denise Dye Costuming
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CAST By Scene SCENE 1 – Opener Jamison SCENE 2 – The Lights Fell Velma Daphne Granny Witch Hazel George Jetson Jane Jetson Rosie Boris Natasha SCENE 3 – Talk About Contracts Velma Daphne AUDIENCE GAME – Name that CarTUNE 70’s &-‐80’s SCENE 4 – Rugrats & Smurfs Jamison Gadget Smurfette Brainy Smurf Angelica Phil Lil Wonder Woman
SCENE 5 – Caveman was on the Catwalk Gadget Boris Natasha Pebbles Wilma SCENE 6 – Crime Fighters Talk Wonder Woman Batman Captain Caveman SCENE 7 – The Spider Scene Jamison Velma Marvin George Judy Elroy Rosie Wilma Betty AUDIENCE GAME – Name that Car-‐TUNE 90’s – 2000’s SCENE 8 – Pink Slips Gadget Smurfette Brainy Smurf Granny Hazel Boris Natasha
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SCENE 9– Staff Meeting Jamison Gadget Velma Daphne George Boris Natasha Wilma Betty Batman SCENE 10 – Mom’s Unite Jane Judy Betty Wilma Pebbles Marvin SCENE 11 – Jamison is Missing Gadget Velma Daphne Witch Hazel Boris Natasha Betty Wonder Woman SCENE 12 – Fixing Rosie Daphne Brainy Smurf Granny George Elroy Rosie
SCENE 13 – Settling Everyone Down Gadget Velma Daphne Batman SCENE 14 – Questioning & Suspicions Gadget Velma Daphne Marvin George Jane Judy Elroy Boris Natsha Wilma Pebbles Betty AUDIENCE INTERROGATIN Q&A’s with all characters SCENE 15 – Hiding Backstage Marvin Witch Hazel Phil Lil Boris Natasha SCENE 16 – The Reveal
Entire Cast
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SCENE 1 1 2 (STAGE NOTE: All characters on stage with CEO front and 3 center addressing audience.) 4 5 JAMISON (CEO): -- (taps mic, use feedback sound fx) 6 Attention. Everyone. Can I have your attention please. 7 Take your seats. Yes, you – take your seat. Yes sit. 8 Everyone sit. Ahem. I am pleased to welcome you all to 9 our inaugural SatoonCon – 10 11 (STAGE NOTE: Characters on stage lead wild applause) 12 13 As you know, I am Linda Jamison, the Head of Mega TV 14 Network. I want each and everyone of you to know that we 15 here at MT Network are committed to bring Saturday 16 morning programming back to the Golden Age – when kids 17 around the world get up early on Saturdays and spend the 18 ENTIRE morning in front of the TV following the lives of 19 these (she indicates the characters on stage) amazing 20 actors and actresses who bring their stories to life 21 every week. 22 23 Later Tonight – I will be giving the keynote address 24 about the future of cartoons in our programming. This 25 evening we will also have some fun with some audience 26 members selected to play “Name the CarTUNE”! So for now, 27 enjoy your meal as we continue to prepare for the rest of 28 this evenings festivities. 29 30 (STAGE NOTE: Lights down. Single light up on CEO who is 31 on her cell phone.) 32 33 JAMISON: …because I told you I had to take care of some 34 things first. Of COURSE I can handle it. I have handled 35 it. Yes. Yes. No. No. Yes. It’ll be done tonight, I 36 promise you. No matter what, I won’t let this deal fall 37 apart. 38 39 (STAGE NOTE: LIGHTS DOWN) 40
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SCENE 2 41 42 (STAGE NOTE: Jane Jetson runs on stage where Boris, 43 Natasha, Witch Hazel, Granny, Daphne, George and Rosie 44 are assembled.) 45 46 JANE: George! George! Thank goodness you’re here. You’d 47 better come quick. 48 49 (STAGE NOTE: George has some sort of space mechanical 50 device that he cannot turn off) 51 52 GEORGE: Jane! Stop this crazy thing! 53 54 JANE: George, there’s been a terrible accident. Several 55 lighting fixtures fell from the trusses and nearly hit 56 Linda Jamison. 57 58 ROSIE: Oh Dear. 59 60 NATASHA: How dreadful. Isn’t it dreadful Boris? 61 62 BORIS: Dreadful. I hope no one was hurt. 63 64 WITCH HAZEL: A thing like that could kill a person. 65 66 GRANNY: Oh dear. That would be unfortunate. 67 68 (STAGE NOTE: There is a long pause while the characters 69 look at each other.) 70 71 NATASHA: No one was killed... I hope? 72 73 JANE: No, no. No one was hurt, but everyone is badly 74 shaken. Batman and Wonder Woman are checking the 75 integrity of the other lights now – and they’ve relocated 76 the fans to another part of the building. 77 78 GEORGE: I hope that none of those lights used any Spacely 79 Sprockets. Mr. Spacely will not be happy. 80
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81 DAPHNE: Hmm. Where was Miss Jamison when it happened? 82 83 JANE: Only a few feet away. Daphne it was terrible. She 84 was having what looked to be a very heated discussion 85 with Marvin the Martian inside the control room when we 86 heard this creaking noise from the catwalks – and then, 87 CRASH! Three fixtures came down almost on top of her! 88 89 GRANNY: It’s amazing she wasn’t seriously hurt. 90 91 DAPHNE: We should check and see if there were any signs 92 of foul play. 93 94 BORIS: I am certain that is not necessary. It is just an 95 accident. 96 97 DAPHNE: It never hurts to take a look. I’ll see what I 98 can find out. 99 100 WITCH HAZEL: Perhaps we should leave that to the 101 professionals, dear. 102 103 GRANNY: I’m certain there’s nothing to worry about. Let’s 104 go see if everyone is OK. 105 106 (STAGE NOTE: Everyone exits except Daphne.) 107 108 DAPHNE: Jeepers! 109 110 (STAGE NOTE: Lights down.) 111
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SCENE 3 112 113 (STAGE NOTE: Velma and Daphne are on stage.) 114 115 VELMA: There has to be something going on, Daphne. I 116 don’t believe it’s a coincidence. 117 118 DAPHNE: Didn’t you say that Batman and Wonder woman are 119 already looking into it? 120 121 VELMA: Jane Jetson said they were inspecting the lights. 122 Everyone seems convinced it’s an accident. 123 124 DAPHNE: Well, Jeepers, Velma. Maybe it is. 125 126 VELMA: I don’t think so. I think we should look around. 127 I wish the boys were here. We could split up. 128 129 DAPHNE: Fred, Shaggy and Scooby are at Scooby Land for 130 the Grand opening. I was surprised Miss Jamison was able 131 to get us out of it so we could be here. 132 133 VELMA: I wasn’t. Linda Jamison does what she wants – if 134 something like a contract gets in her way, she just 135 breaks it! 136 137 DAPHNE: Well, have you noticed that she’s holding 138 EVERYONE to their original contracts – even the ones that 139 are 30 or 40 years old? 140 141 VELMA: There’s a reason she doesn’t have any friends in 142 the industry. Come on, Daphne, it’s time we have a look 143 at those lights. (Looks down at her watch.) Jinkies, look 144 how late it is. (Showing Daphne the watch.) 145 146 DAPHNE: Oh jeepers. Tonight’s entertainment should have 147 already started. We need to get the game show MC out 148 here. (They Exit.) 149 (Granny enters to conduct the first round of “Name that 150 carTUNE”. 151
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SCENE 4 153
(STAGE NOTE: Angelica, Phil, Lil, Smurfette and Brainy 154 Smurf enter.) 155 156 ANGELICA: All right you dumb babies – I am going to tell 157 Jamison exactly what we discussed and you’d better back 158 me up. 159 160 PHIL: We’re with you Angelica 161 162 LIL: All the way. 163 164 PHIL: Yeah. Especially if you can get Jamison to buy us a 165 kitty. 166 167 LIL: A brown one. With spots. 168 169 SMURFETTE: I think we can just explain to Miss Jamison 170 what our concerns are and she’ll understand. 171 172 ANGELICA: Yeah, well, she better. 173 174 (STAGE NOTE: Jamison enters with Wonder Woman and 175 Inspector Gadget.) 176 177 JAMISON: (cranky) You didn’t have to escort me. I told 178 you I was fine. 179 180 GADGET: Well, I, for one, am very appreciative. Those 181 lights falling that way was very unsettling. Someone 182 could have been killed. 183 184 WONDER WOMAN: We’re just being extra cautious. The Super 185 Friends are patrolling the perimeter. Aqua Man is 186 covering the river. Batman has the loading docks and main 187 entryways, and Superman is on aerial surveillance. 188 Nothing will get by us, I assure you. Now, I am going to 189 do a security sweep of the convention hall. 190 191
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(STAGE NOTE: She exits. Angelica approaches Gadget and 192 Jamison.) 193 194 SMURFETTE: Miss Jamison – if you don’t mind. We’d like a 195 moment of your time. 196 197 ANGELICA: Yeah. I have a complaint. (To Phil and Lil) 198 Come on, you dumb babies. Back me up. 199 200 LIL: That’s right, a complaint. 201 202 PHIL: A big complaint. 203 204 BRAINY SMURF: Now, now. We all need to smurf down! As 205 complaints go, it’s probably not the biggest, but it is 206 rather significant. 207 208 JAMISON: Take it up with Human Resources, then. I don’t 209 have time for this. 210 211 ANGELICA: I like to go straight to the top. 212 213 SMURFETTE: We spoke with Human Resources already and they 214 suggested we should talk to Management. 215 216 JAMISON: Well, you’ll have to find someone else then. (To 217 Gadget) I need you to go cover the workshop in the East 218 Room – the fans want you and Rosie the Robot to show them 219 how your electronics work. Elroy Jetson will be there to 220 assist. 221 222 PHIL: (Tugs on Angelica’s sleeve) This isn’t working. 223 224 LIL: You’d better do something. Talk about the kitty. 225 226 ANGELICA: All right you two, start crying. 227 228 BRAINY SMURF: I don’t think that’s necessary. 229 230 PHIL: What? 231
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232 ANGELICA: Crying. It drives adults crazy. She’ll do 233 anything to get rid of us. 234 235 LIL: if you say so. 236 237 (STAGE NOTE: The pair starts to cry loudly. Smurfette 238 steps around them to address Jamison directly.) 239 240 SMURFETTE: I’m sorry, Miss Jamison, I really just need a 241 moment. 242 243 JAMISON: (turns on them angrily.) Really? You’re going to 244 do this now? 245 246 ANGELICA: They’re going to do that until you hear our 247 complaint, because we’re quitting. All of us. Isn’t that 248 right Lil? 249 250 LIL: Yes. 251 252 ANGELICA: Phil? 253 254 PHIL: Yes. 255 256 ANGELICA: (crosses her arms) We’re quitting. All of us. 257 This place isn’t safe and we’re walking away if you don’t 258 fix it. 259 260 SMURFETTE: Oh… my… Smurf! 261 262 GADGET: Not safe? You mean the light fixtures. 263 264 PHIL: Those weren’t light fixtures. 265 266 BRAINY SMURF: Angelica and the babies seem to think 267 something smurfy has happened. 268 269 LIL: They were aliens. 270 271
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JAMISON: This is ridiculous. 272 273 ANGELICA: It’s true. We saw them in the catwalks 274 yesterday. Creeping around. Their eyes were glowing. 275 276 LIL: And they dropped their missiles on you. 277 278 GADGET: Aliens did you say? Interesting. We may have to 279 look in to that. 280 281 JAMISON: There are NO aliens. It was an accident. That’s 282 all. Now all of you --- go back to the workshop rooms. I 283 have tonight’s announcement to prepare for. 284 285 ANGELICA: That’s not the only problem. 286 287 JAMISON: What now? 288 289 PHIL: There’s nothing in the break room but a vegetable 290 tray. 291 292 LIL: And someone ate all the carrots. Every last one. 293 There’s nothing left but broccoli. 294 295 PHIL: And… we need a kitty. 296 297 ANGELICA: We can’t work under these conditions. 298 299 JAMISON: That’s it – Take whatever complaints you have 300 and go see Human Resources. I have a network to run here. 301 I can’t be worried about who ate all the carrots. 302 303 (The Rugrats and Smurfs exit one direction. Jamison the 304 opposite. Gadget is left on stage.) 305 306 GADGET: Ate the carrots? Interesting. 307 308 (STAGE NOTE: Lights out.) 309
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SCENE 5 310
(STAGE NOTE: Gadget is on stage inspecting one of the 311 broke fixtures. Elroy Jetson, Pebbles and Betty Rubble 312 enter.) 313 314 ELROY: Say, Gadget – do you still have time to show me 315 how those elevator boots work? 316 317 GADGET: Of course, Go Go Gadget – 318 319 PEBBLES: (interrupts him) Before you do that, there’s 320 something we think you should know. 321 322 GADGET: Really? 323 324 WILMA: I was talking to Betty and Pebbles and they said 325 that late yesterday afternoon, while they were waiting 326 for a costume adjustment, they saw Captain Caveman up in 327 the catwalks above the control room. 328 329 GADGET: Is that a fact? 330 331 (STAGE NOTE: Boris and Natasha enter in disguise.) 332 333 BORIS: Hello, allow me to introduce myself. 334 335 EVERYONE: (slightly bored) Helloooo Boooris. 336 337 BORIS: Fine! Gadget – you are just the man we’ve been 338 looking for. 339 340 NATASHA: We have small business proposition for you. 341 342 GADGET: I’m a detective, not a banker. (Looks at Pebbles) 343 Now, did you happen to see what Captain Caveman was doing 344 in the catwalk? 345 346 PEBBLES: We saw him up there stomping around with his 347 club. 348 349
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WILMA: It seemed very strange. We just thought you should 350 know. 351 352 BORIS: I am sure there is perfectly good explanation. We 353 can ask him later. 354 355 NATASHA: Perhaps he lost something. Perhaps he was trying 356 to see what set looked like from that angle. There are 357 any number of reasons he could have been up there. 358 359 GADGET: True – but it does seem suspicious, doesn’t it? 360 361 BORIS: Not at all – why is everyone so suspicious all of 362 sudden? Nothing terrible happened 363 364 GADGET: Elroy, my boy, this gives me an idea. Would you 365 see if you could round up Caveman for me? I’d like to ask 366 him a few questions. 367
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SCENE 6 368
369 (STAGE NOTE: Wonder Woman and Batman are on stage.) 370 371 WONDER WOMAN: Have you seen anything out of the ordinary? 372 373 BATMAN: Nothing. Though I hear there were aliens in the 374 catwalk yesterday. 375 376 WONDER WOMAN: I’m not sure how reliable that report is. 377 Velma, Daphne, and Gadget are looking into it. 378 379 BATMAN: If you ask me, if there’s foul play here, someone 380 should look at Boris and Natasha. They’re up to no good. 381 382 WONDER WOMAN: Aren’t they always? 383 384 (STAGE NOTE: Captain Caveman enters wielding his club.) 385 386 CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Captain CAAAAVEMAAAAAAAN ! 387 388 WONDER WOMAN: I see undercover work isn’t your strong 389 suit. 390 391 CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Unga Bunga, Me know you not only 392 superheroes here. I have (poses) skills. 393 394 BATMAN: How many crimes have you solved with that magic 395 club? 396 397 CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Me solve lots of crimes. If there is 398 criminal, Captain CAAAAVEMAAAAAAAN find him. 399 400 WONDER WOMAN: We can use all the hands we can get. 401 402 BATMAN: I’m not so sure about that. 403 404
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CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: You think you so good because you got 405 cape. Well, I got fur and club. (spins the club above his 406 head) First hero to find bad guy wins new contract! (Runs 407 off stage) 408 409 BATMAN: That guy. 410 411 WONDER WOMAN: He’s harmless. 412 413 BATMAN: Maybe. But… I’m Batman. If there’s a criminal 414 here – he’s mine. 415 416 WONDER WOMAN: You go take another look at the catwalks. 417 I’m going to check the rigging. We must be missing 418 something. 419
(STAGE NOTE: Batman and Wonder Woman exit.) 420
(STAGE NOTE: Natasha enters to MC the next round of “Name 421 that CarTUNE” with the audience members.) 422
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SCENE 7 423
(STAGE NOTE: Lights up on Elroy and Marvin.) 424 425 ELROY: Yes sir, Mr. Martian. I am a fully decorated Space 426 Cub and I sure would appreciate if you could tell me how 427 to make my cadet ship travel faster. 428 429 MARVIN: You need two ingredients for faster space travel. 430 One is eludium which is found inside the common earth 431 lamps that are used in the theater. The other is the 432 Martian element, pu36, only available in small quantities 433 inside network television studios. I have been trying to 434 locate it since I was forced to make an emergency landing 435 here years ago so I can return to Mars. 436 437 ELROY: Wow! It must be SOMETHING to travel all the way 438 from Mars. 439 440 MARVIN: Our planet is far superior, Earthling. You should 441 see it for yourself before I disintegrate your planet 442 because it obstructs my view of Venus. 443 444 (STAGE NOTE: A scream is heard off stage.) 445 446 MARVIN: Oh Dear. It seems there has been a horrible, 447 earth shattering kaboom. 448 449 (STAGE NOTE: Judy Jetson runs in holding Captain 450 Caveman’s club and Paul, Witch Hazel’s pet tarantula.) 451 452 JUDY: Someone did it on purpose. On purpose I tell you. 453 454 (STAGE NOTE: Wilma Flintstone, Betty Rubble and Rosie 455 Robot enter.) 456 457 WILMA: Are you alright, Judy? 458 459 BETTY: We heard you scream. 460 461
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JUDY: Spiders. Everyone knows I’m afraid of Spiders. I 462 tripped on this stupid club as I was leaving my dressing 463 room and fell face first on to this…. This …. (She holds 464 up the squished Paul.) 465 466 ROSIE ROBOT: He seems flat. I believe he’s dead now. 467 468 (STAGE NOTE: Witch Hazel enters with George.) 469 470 GEORGE: Judy. Are you alright? 471 472 WILMA: She’s fine. She had quite as scare. 473 474 (STAGE NOTE: Rosie takes the spider and begins to walk in 475 circles.) 476 477 ROSIE: Who would leave a spider? Who would leave a 478 spider? 479 480 GEORGE: Jane! Jane! Would you turn this crazy thing off? 481 482 JUDY: I nearly broke my ankle tripping on that club. He 483 needs to be more careful with that thing. 484 485 (STAGE NOTE: Velma and Daphne enter.) 486 487 VELMA: (points to the spider) Someone is definitely up to 488 foul play here, Daphne. 489 490 (STAGE NOTE: Jamison Enters) 491 492 JAMISON: Everyone back to work. Back to work I say. We 493 have a building full of eager fans and a network to run. 494 (she checks her watch) and we have a staff meeting in 495 five minutes. 496
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SCENE 8 497 498 (STAGE NOTE: Smurfette and Brainy Smurf on stage.) 499 500 SMURFETTE: I can’t understand why she’s so unpleasant. 501 502 BRAINY SMURF: Me either, Smurfette. She’s like Grouchy 503 Smurf all the time. 504 505 (STAGE NOTE: Witch Hazel and Granny enter waving pink 506 slips.) 507 508 WITCH HAZEL: You won’t believe this. You won’t believe 509 this. A pink slip. Jamison has sent me a pink slip. 510 511 GRANNY: Me too. (shakes her cage) Don’t worry Tweety, 512 we’ll be fine. 513 514 SMURFETTE: A what? 515 516 WITCH HAZEL: A pink slip. I’ve been fired. Re cast. 517 518 GRANNY: She is getting rid of our characters because she 519 says we’re old and irrelevant. 520 521 BRAINY: Oh dear. 522 523 WITCH HAZEL: Oh dear is right. She is getting rid of me 524 because she says I no longer appeal to younger audiences. 525 I knew this was coming. She’s been downsizing my part for 526 months. 527 528 GRANNY: Tweety and I haven’t had screen time in weeks. 529 530 STAGE NOTE: Gadget enters 531 532 GADGET: Go Go Gadget -- 533
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WITCH HAZEL: (interrupts him.) Gadget. Stop that nonsense 534 and focus on something truly important. (Waves the pink 535 slip at him.) Did you know anything about this – Jamison 536 is letting people go? 537 538 GRANNY: A clear case of age discrimination. 539 540 (STAGE NOTE: Boris and Natasha enter talking, not yet 541 noticing the group.) 542 543 NATASHA: Finally, Boris, we are rid of Moose and 544 Squirrel. We will have our own show like we always 545 dreamed. 546 547 BORIS: Jamison could not have … (he stops when he notices 548 the group) Hello, let me introduce myself... 549 550 WITCH HAZEL: She got rid of Rocky and Bullwinkle. First 551 the elderly, then the Witch, then the animals. (She looks 552 at the Smurfs) You two better watch out. Seems anyone not 553 young and human is on the chopping block! 554 555 GADGET: Now, now, calm down. Everyone calm down. There’s 556 a little thing called a studio contract. Jamison can’t do 557 anything unless the studio is sold. She has to abide by 558 the contract. I’m sure there’s a simple explanation for 559 all of this. 560 561 NATASHA: Oh there is. Jamison assures me she’ll let us 562 all know in staff meeting. 563
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SCENE 9 564
(STAGE NOTE: Staff meeting with Jamison, Daphne, George, 565 Wilma, Betty Rubble, Boris, Batman, Gadget and Marvin.) 566 567 JAMISON: All right listen up. I’m only going to say this 568 one time. I’m making some changes around here, and 569 everybody might as well like it because I’m the boss and 570 this is how I want it. We need ratings. And to get 571 ratings, we have to be relevant. To be relevant, we’re 572 going to change some story lines. This is how I want it 573 done: 574 575 George – that infernal Robot has to go. She’s outdated 576 and ancient. I want her and Elroy recast. Rosie needs to 577 be a droid and Elroy – older and better looking. Judy can 578 stay. She appeals to the tween boy demographic. 579 580 GEORGE: I can’t get rid of my own son, Jamison. Surely 581 you’re not suggesting – 582 583 JAMISON: It’s not a suggestion, Jetson. Make it happen. 584 (she looks at Daphne) Daphne, you have the most 585 successful show on this network, so we need more of it. 586 We’re going to broadcast you and that gang of meddling 587 kids 5 days a week. 588 589 DAPHNE: Five Days? We can’t be on set that many hours. 590 591 JAMISON: You’ll have to be if you want to work here. I’m 592 sure I’ll have no trouble replacing you – the good 593 looking girl next door – or your geeky friend. She’s out 594 dated anyway. That frumpy turtleneck sweater has to go. 595 (Turns to Wilma and Betty.) 596 597 Wilma. Betty. You’ll be divorcing Fred and Barney. 598 Everyone knows you’ve always been the brains of the 599 operation. I want the show to focus on your struggle as 600 single parents of Pebbles and Bam-Bam. 601 602 WILMA: Oh Dear. I don’t think I can. 603
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604 BETTY: That’s not going to work at all. 605 606 JAMISON: (continues undeterred) Boris – you’re out. You 607 and your girlfriend. 608 609 BORIS: Now wait one minute. 610 611 JAMISON: Americans are no longer afraid of Russians. I 612 need Wall Street executives stalking the Moose and the 613 Squirrel to make your show appeal to modern audiences. 614 615 Batman – the entire justice league needs a makeover. 616 Starting with you. This is the 21st century. Feelings 617 matter. Nobody has time or patience for your brooding. 618 You need to tap into a kinder, gentler man who understand 619 the need for safe spaces. 620 621 BATMAN: But – I’m Batman 622 623 JAMISON: We might want to think about changing that to 624 BatPerson – it’s more relatable. 625 626 And Gadget – you’re just an idiot. You’ve always been an 627 idiot. Everyone knew it was your niece, Penny, who 628 actually solved all the crimes. I need you to step up 629 your game – you need to be more Terminator and less 630 Edward Scissorhands. 631 632 Does everyone understand? 633 634 GADGET: Now see here Jamison – you can’t – 635 636 JAMISON: Oh, I can and I will. And I will be making the 637 announcement about all of this to the fans at the keynote 638 dinner tonight. So you’ll do it or you’ll get ready to go 639 back to the storyboards. One quality eraser and I could 640 do away with you all if I wanted to. 641
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Scene 10 642 643 (STAGE NOTE: Lights up on Jane, Judy, Betty, Wilma, and 644 Pebbles.) 645 646 JANE: I can’t believe Jamison thinks she can split up our 647 families with one stroke of her pen! 648 649 JUDY: You can’t let dad get rid of Elroy. If it weren’t 650 for him I never would have met Jet Screamer! (swoons 651 dramatically) 652 653 JANE: Judy, this is not the time to be thinking about 654 rock stars! This is our life she is talking about, not 655 just her ratings. 656 657 BETTY: I would never divorce Barney! Our marriages are 658 the bedrock of our show. 659 660 WILMA: I know Betty. But, don’t worry... Jamison was 661 right about one thing. We are the brains of our operation 662 and we can fix this somehow. 663 664 PEBBLES: What do you have in mind, Mom? 665 666 WILMA: It looks like we only have two choices…either we 667 are out, or Jamison is out. 668 669 (STAGE NOTE: Marvin the Martian enters murmuring to 670 himself and looking around. Wilma stops talking to the 671 ladies and they all turn to look at him.) 672 673 BETTY: Can we help you, Marvin? 674
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675 MARVIN: (suddenly realizing they are staring at him) 676 With you Earthlings running around and interrupting the 677 assembly of my space modulator, I seem to have misplaced 678 something very important. All of you are concerned about 679 television shows, but that will not be a problem soon. 680 You should be deciding how to leave the Earth before it 681 is disintegrated. 682 683 (Marvin leaves continuing to look around and murmur) 684 685 PEBBLES: He is so weird. 686 687 WILMA: We don’t have time to worry about him now. We must 688 take action to save our families. I need some time to 689 think, but we can’t just stand by and watch Jamison ruin 690 us. 691 692
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SCENE 11 693
694 (STAGE NOTE: Everyone is on stage anxiously and angrily 695 awaiting Jamison’s arrival.) 696 697 VELMA: She’s late. She’s never late 698 699 DAPHNE: It’s the only thing I ever liked about her. 700 701 BORIS: How long should we be waiting. 702 703 NATASHA: We will not stand for this disrespectful 704 treatment. Of course America is afraid of Mother Russia. 705 How absurd! 706 707 WITCH HAZEL: I won’t be able to find new work. How many 708 jobs do you think there are for 40 year old quirky 709 witches? 710 711 BETTY: I can’t leave Barney. I just can’t. 712 713 GADGET: Now everyone just calm down. Calm down. I’m sure 714 we can reach a reasonable compromise. 715 716 DAPHNE: Well, until someone finds Jamison, there will be 717 no compromise. 718 719 WONDER WOMAN: I’ll go. (exits) 720 721 BETTY: I don’t know what we’re going to do. This is 722 terrible. 723 724 BORIS: I was born to be a super villain. I’ve always been 725 a super villain. What will become of me? 726 727 NATASHA: Don’t worry, Boris, we will outsmart her. I’m 728 sure of it. 729 730 (STAGE NOTE: Wonder Woman Enters) 731 732
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VELMA: Well, did you find Jamison. 733 734 WONDER WOMAN: I went to her office. 735 736 GADGET: Well get her in here. 737 738 WONDER WOMAN: That’s going to be a problem. 739 740 NATASHA: Why? 741 742 WONDER WOMAN: Her office has been ransacked and she’s 743 missing. I can’t find her anywhere. I’m afraid that that 744 she met with foul play. 745 746 GADGET: Well, well, well, a mystery. Don’t fear. 747 Inspector Gadget’s on the case. 748 749 DAPHNE: Looks like you were right, Velma. There is foul 750 play. Inspector Gadget we can help you get to the bottom 751 of this mystery. 752
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SCENE 12 753 754 (SCENE NOTE: Lights up on Granny, George, Rosie, Elroy, 755 Captain Caveman, Daphne, and Brainy Smurf.) 756 757 GRANNY: You’ve got to do something about her! She’s been 758 acting strange all day, but it was just too much when she 759 nearly vacuumed Tweety right out of his cage! He was 760 already worried about losing our job and now he’s too 761 frightened to even sing to me! 762 763 GEORGE: Don’t work Granny, we will figure out what’s 764 wrong. She’s never acted like this before. 765 766 ROSIE: Gee, Mr. J, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s 767 happening to me! But what can you expect from wiring as 768 old as mine? 769 770 ELROY: Dad, maybe I should open her control panel and 771 check her sprockets and cogs. (Elroy climbs up on a box 772 to reach the back of Rosie’s head.) 773 774 CAVEMAN: Unga bunga, me can help. One hit with club 775 should fix problem. (Raises his club to hit Rosie but 776 George catches the club mid swing.) 777 778 GEORGE: No! Thanks a lot, Captain Caveman, but between 779 Elroy’s sprocket knowledge and Brainy Smurf’s knowledge 780 about... well, most everything else, they will solve this 781 problem. 782 783 (STAGE NOTE: Brainy climbs up on the box with Elroy.) 784 785 DAPHNE: Maybe she is overworked. Can you just shut her 786 down and let her rest for a few days? You could even send 787 her back home for a tune up instead of opening her right 788 here. 789 790
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BRAINY: No, no, Daphne. We have every confidence that we 791 can correct her faulty wiring. If you could smurf back 792 for a minute, I can open the panel for Elroy. 793 794 (STAGE NOTE: Brainy opens panel) 795 796 ELROY: Wow! I think I found the problem! What is all 797 this? 798 799 (STAGE NOTE: As Elroy removes the gun, potion, and ray 800 gun, Daphne comments on each.) 801 802 DAPHNE: Jeepers, I recognize that! I’m sure I’ve seen 803 Boris with that gun... 804 And, Witch Hazel was working on her potions while 805 preparing a workshop for the convention... 806 Where’s Marvin? That looks like his eludium pu36 space 807 modulator that he keeps talking about. 808 809 CAVEMAN: (Looking at the ray gun) Me glad me didn’t hit 810 robot. Space man say this make big kaboom! 811 812 ROSIE: Sorry I blew a fuse Sir. BUT I’m feeling much 813 better. Never fear while Rosie is here. 814 815 BRAINY: Rosie, you didn’t do anything wrong and it 816 doesn’t take a genius to see that this mystery is even 817 worse than we thought! 818 819 GRANNY: Daphne, you better tell Inspector Gadget about 820 this! 821 822
823
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SCENE 13 823 824 GADGET: We finally got everyone to calm down. They’re all 825 in their dressing rooms waiting to hear from us. 826 827 BATMAN: The police are here. Superman and Aquaman are 828 briefing them now. Wonder Woman and I will go patrol the 829 perimeter while you investigate. 830 831 (He exits with Wonder Woman) 832 833 GADGET: Well, Ladies. It looks like we have our work cut 834 out for us. 835 836 DAPHNE: I think we should split up. Daphne and I will 837 talk to the Jetsons, The Flintstones, the Smurfs and 838 Captain Caveman. 839 840 GADGET: And I’ll take the Looney Tunes, Boris, Natasha 841 and the Rugrats. When Wonder Woman and Batman return, 842 perhaps they’ll have more information. 843 844 VELMA: Jinkies. I sure hope so. 845 846 (STAGE NOTE: Lights down.) 847
848
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848
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SCENE 14 848
849 (STAGE NOTE: Velma and Daphne are with Judy, Jane, 850 Marvin, George, Elroy and Rosie) 851 852 DAPHNE: So, George – you’re [saying] upset that Jamison 853 wanted you to get rid of Rosie and Elroy for the sake of 854 ratings. 855 856 GEORGE: Yes. But I wouldn’t kill her – I mean, I wouldn’t 857 even know how to do that. 858 859 MARVIN: All you would need is an eludium pu36 space 860 modulator. That would do it. 861 862 JANE: George gets frustrated, but he’s not a violent man. 863 864 JUDY: I’m telling you, girls, you’re barking up the wrong 865 tree. 866 867 DAPHNE: Why do you say that? 868 869 JUDY: You should be looking at the Russians. They had the 870 most to lose and the most access. They’d already met with 871 her earlier that day. I think they knew what she was 872 planning all along. 873 874 ELROY: It’s true. I heard them talking about how she was 875 getting rid of Rocky and Bullwinkle. (Looks at Rosie.) 876 Don’t worry, Rosie. We’re not going anywhere. 877 878 JUDY: If anyone had a reason to kill her, it’s those two. 879 Where are two former Russian Super Villains going to go 880 if she puts them out on the street? 881 882 ELROY: Plus, they are always masterminding elaborate 883 traps for the Moose and Squirrel. It would be just like 884 them to try to kill her off with those lights. 885 886
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(STAGE NOTE: Lights down. Lights up on Gadget with Boris 887 and Natasha.) 888 889 BORIS: How dare you accuse us in this manner, Gadget. 890 891 GADGET: No one is being accused. 892 893 NATASHA: We only hunt Moose and Squirrel. Never humans. 894 Anymore. 895 896 BORIS: We are far too intelligent to be outsmarted by 897 that Jamison woman. She only thought she had the upper 898 hand. We were already working a deal to change networks, 899 and Russia will soon be the enemy of America again! 900 901 NATASHA: It’s true. If you want to talk to someone – you 902 should talk to Caveman. He and Wilma Flintstone were 903 planning REVOLT! – a new network entirely committed to 904 prehistoric television. 905 906 BORIS: But to do it, they must first break contract with 907 MT Network and Jamison. That’s powerful motive if you ask 908 me. 909 910 (STAGE NOTE: Lights Down. Lights Up on Velma, Daphne and 911 the Flintstones.) 912 913 PEBBLES: We would never do anything like that. You can’t 914 blame us. 915 916 BETTY: We’re just a peaceful cave community. 917 918 WILMA: I wonder what Fred would say if he were here. 919 920 PEBBLES: Yabba Dabba Don’t. That’s what he’d say. 921 922 WILMA: You have to believe me. I’d leave the network 923 before I’d divorce Fred. It’s really that simple. 924 925
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PEBBLES: The person you should be looking at is Witch 926 Hazel. She’s been complaining for weeks that Jamison is 927 phasing her out. 928 929 VELMA: So there’s no truth to the rumor that you and 930 Caveman are planning a new network? 931 932 WILMA: Of course not. We’d never leave MT Network… unless 933 we were forced out. (Wilma takes Pebbles by the hand and 934 walks off the stage along with Betty. Leaving Velma and 935 Daphne on stage.) 936 937 (STAGE NOTE: Gadget enters joining Velma and Daphne). 938 939 GADGET: Wowzers! So many suspects! So little time! 940 941 VELMA: We may need to bring in reinforcements to question 942 all the suspects. 943 944 DAPHNE: Jeepers! I know what we can do. Why don’t we have 945 the audience question some of the suspects. 946 947 GADGET: Great idea Daphne. I normally solve these cases 948 alone but we can turn to the attendees for help. Maybe 949 they will see something that we don’t.(TO AUDIENCE) We 950 need you to question the suspects for us. 951 952 VELMA: On your table you will find an envelope with a 953 list of questions we have prepared. We will send out the 954 suspects and they will take turns coming around to your 955 tables. 956 957 DAPHNE: When a suspect approaches your table, your table 958 must agree on which 3 questions from the list to ask that 959 suspect. You may ask different questions of each suspect 960 or the same questions of everyone but they must be from 961 our list. 962 963 GADGET: When the table is finished questioning the 964 suspects, each person needs to take an accusation slip 965 and fill it out stating whom they feel is the perpetrator 966 of the crime, 967
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968 VELMA: how they did it, 969 970 DAPHANE: and what the motive was for their crime. 971 972 GADGET: Once completed our staff will come by and collect 973 those. I will now send out the suspects for questioning. 974 975 976 END SCENE 977 978 All suspects will go out to the tables. Move around 979 taking turns answering questions at different tables. 980
981
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SCENE 15 981
(STAGE NOTE: Witch Hazel, Marvin, Boris and Natasha are 982 on stage.) 983 984 WITCH HAZEL: Well, I didn’t kill her, but I can’t say I’m 985 sorry she’s gone. 986 987 BORIS: You had reason to kill her. More than anyone. 988 989 NATASHA: She had already notified you she was canceling 990 your contract. 991 992 WITCH HAZEL: I’m a witch. Not a killer. I use spells to 993 put people in misery. I’ve never been violent. You two 994 on the other hand… 995 996 NATASHA: Only with moose and squirrel. Only moose and 997 squirrel. 998 999 BORIS: I suppose it is good thing she is gone. No one 1000 could get along with her. 1001 1002 WITCH HAZEL: I wonder what will happen to the network, 1003 though. 1004 1005 MARVIN: Whatever happens, I must find what I need for my 1006 spacecraft before it shuts down. Without it I will be 1007 stuck here with you Earthlings forever. 1008 1009 NATASHA: Whatever it is, it can’t possibly be worse. We 1010 just have to make sure all of her notes are gone and no 1011 one knows what she was planning to do to all of us. 1012 1013 (STAGE NOTE: They leave together. Lights stay up. Phil 1014 and Lil come out of hiding.) 1015 1016 LIL: That was a great hiding spot Phil. 1017 1018 PHIL: Tommy and Chuckie still haven’t found us. 1019 1020
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LIL: And now we know what the grown ups have been talking 1021 about. 1022 1023 (STAGE NOTE: The box shakes and we hear TAZ sounds.) 1024 1025 PHIL: KITTY! (Points to the box) Hey, look Lil – it’s a 1026 kitty. 1027 1028 LIL: I want to pet the kitty. 1029 1030 (STAGE NOTE: they spend several seconds trying to figure 1031 out how to get into the box. They open the box some, peek 1032 in and look stunned and surprised. Lights down.) 1033 1034
1035
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SCENE 16 1035
1036 (STAGE NOTE: Everyone is gathered on stage. Velma enters 1037 with Phil and Lil.) 1038 1039 VELMA: All right, everyone, we have figured out what 1040 happened to Linda Jamison. 1041 1042 WILMA: You have? 1043 1044 GADGET: We used our brilliant powers of deduction and 1045 we’re ready to name a culprit. 1046 At first, I thought it had to be Boris and Natasha. They 1047 were the most obvious choice – they were being cancelled 1048 by the network and they have a long history of trying to 1049 dispose of their enemies. 1050 1051 VELMA: But we ruled them out because they were in a 1052 workshop on American Political Realities when Jamison 1053 went missing. 1054 1055 GADGET: Then we thought it must be the Martian. 1056 1057 MARVIN: If I had done it, she would have been obliterated 1058 in an earth shattering kaboom!. 1059 1060 VELMA: Captain Caveman – there was the report we heard 1061 that you were in the catwalks the day before the 1062 accident, and that you left your club outside Judy 1063 Jetson’s dressing room. 1064 1065 GADGET: It all seemed very suspicious until we realized 1066 that you were distracted by the meetings you’ve been 1067 having with Global Cartoon Network to launch your own 1068 series. You were in the catwalks because you were 1069 listening to Jamison’s conversation with Network 1070 Executives to see if she knew what you had planned. 1071 1072 CAPTAIN CAVEMAN: Captain Caveman is detective and catches 1073 criminals. He not one. 1074
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1075 VELMA: You left your club knowing that Judy would be 1076 headed for makeup at precisely the time you were meeting 1077 Global Cartoon Network Executives in the Breakroom – you 1078 needed to distract her. 1079 1080 GADGET: We looked at Witch Hazel and Granny too. 1081 1082 GRANNY: Oh dear. I’ve never been accused of anything like 1083 that. 1084 1085 GADGET: But we ruled it out. You might be upset that your 1086 roles were being recast. 1087 1088 VELMA: But at your age, retirement seems smarter than 1089 murder. 1090 1091 GADGET: Then we turned to the show mothers. Jamison 1092 wanted to break up their families for ratings and Wilma 1093 wanted to devise a plan to eliminate her. 1094 1095 BETTY: We would have never hurt anyone! 1096 1097 JANE: Shoot them into space maybe. 1098 1099 WILMA: All I wanted to do was get Jamison fired from her 1100 job and expose her for the horrible person she is. She 1101 should not be in control of what our children see on TV. 1102 1103 GADGET: We also looked at the other possibilities, but it 1104 was something I heard from Lil and Phil that finally 1105 convinced me who the culprit was. 1106 1107 PHIL: Was it the thing about the aliens? 1108 1109 GADGET: No. Actually, it was the thing about the carrots 1110 being missing from the break room. 1111 1112 LIL: Carrots. Kitties like carrots. 1113 1114
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VELMA: Well, carrots are also good for eyesight. So I 1115 started thinking who would have the best reason to be 1116 worried about improving eyesight 1117 1118 GADGET: Exactly. So someone could think it might be me, 1119 but I didn’t have a motive. However, the person who 1120 committed the crime was concerned about holding on to her 1121 image as an attractive member of the cast. Without her 1122 looks, she might be replaced. 1123 1124 GEORGE: It’s a woman?! 1125 1126 GADGET: Yes. Actually, a woman who still wants to hold on 1127 to her youthful good looks – but is ready for another 1128 stage of life. And I hate to say this – but… it’s Daphne. 1129 1130 (STAGE NOTE: Cast Reacts) 1131 1132 DAPHNE: (crumbles) It’s true. It’s true. I did it. I 1133 couldn’t face the idea of having to film 5 days a week. 1134 Of having to spend all of my time as the mostly useless 1135 girl next door while Velma and Fred and Shaggy solved all 1136 the crimes. 1137 1138 Don’t you see? Since the show went off the air, I’ve been 1139 awarded a PhD in astrophysics. I’ve won a Nobel Prize. I 1140 have finally been recognized for my mind and my 1141 abilities, but all Jamison wants from me is the young and 1142 pretty but witless member of the Scooby Doo Team who 1143 exists only to boost ratings. I just couldn’t do it. I 1144 couldn’t. 1145 1146 I even put all those things into Roise the Robot to throw 1147 off suspicion and make it look like everyone was hiding 1148 their murder weapons. 1149 1150 (STAGE NOTE: Batman steps forward to take her into 1151 custody.) 1152 1153
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BATMAN: I’m afraid we’ll have to take you in, Daphne. I 1154 am sure justice will prevail. 1155 1156 VELMA: But that leaves one question – where IS Miss 1157 Jamison? 1158 1159 (STAGE NOTE: The box rocks and noises are heard coming 1160 from inside.) 1161 1162 PHIL & LIL: Kitty! 1163 1164 (STAGE NOTE: Wonder Woman approaches the box. Opens it to 1165 reveal Jamison inside bound and gagged.) 1166 1167 JAMISON: Finally. You bumbling idiots! I’ve been in that 1168 box this whole time. 1169 1170 GADGET: Sooooo, Daphne replaced Taz with Miss Jamison 1171 planning to ship her out of the country once the 1172 conference was over. 1173 1174 DAPHNE: That was my plan – I was going to ship her to 1175 Tasmania where she’d never be heard from again. 1176 1177 BATMAN: Diabolical. Let’s go. Justice can’t be delayed 1178 for anyone. 1179 1180 (STAGE NOTE: As they walk off – she looks at Phil and 1181 Lil.) 1182 1183 DAPHNE: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it 1184 weren’t for you meddling kids! 1185 1186 THE END 1187
AngelicaPickles1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwasgivingCynthiathetourofthisjoint2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Ilikeher!Sheputthosedumbbabiesintheirplace!3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? I’mnota-posedtohavetathinkthishard.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk?‘ Causehe’sthreatenedbyworkingwomen!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Well,justlikeItoldChuckiethatonetime.Thereare2kindsofpeopleinthisworld. Peoplewhomakethingshappen,likeME.Andpeoplewhojustseemto…well, getintheway.Likethosebabies!6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Areyouadumbbabyorsomething?Somebodyshoveditinthere.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Alltheshowswillbeaboutme–theprettiest,smartest,bestestgirlintheworld!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Well,everygoodbusinesswomanneedsaspirationandmineiscookies.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Thatmeanoldladywiththatweirdhat!Shewasamixingallkindsofstufftogether… Ithinkshegaveherfoodpoisionin’10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
Batman1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Tryingtohidefromthosesmalladultswhohadbeenchasingmecallingme“Kitty!”2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? ItisthedutyofeverygoodcitizenofGothamCitytoreportsuspiciousactivity andIhadanotebookfullonJamison.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Jamisonwasrewritingscriptswithoutproperproofingandeveryoneknows thatgoodgrammarisessential!4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Thetruecrimefighteralwayscarrieseverythingheneedsinhisutilitybelt. ForCavemantoleavehisclubisunacceptable.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Ibelievethatanylargecontingentofsuspectsmightcreateunnecessaryconfusion.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? It’sobvious.Onlyacriminalwouldhideevidenceontheirperson.Orwouldshe?7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Theyhavestrictlicensinglawsinthiscountry.Theshowsshouldstayinsyndication andweshouldreapthebenefitsofthehoursspentsolvingthecrimesofthepast.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. That’sonetroublewithdualidentities,sir.Dualresponsibilities.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Abitofadvice.Alwaysinspectarobotcarefully.Thesemachinescanbedeadly.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
BettyRubble1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? TalkingwithBoris&Natashaabouttheirworldtravels.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shewasaforcetobereckonedwith.Ihavealotofrespectforher.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Why,fortryingtotakeoverthecartoonworld,obviously! Somepeoplearejustthreatenedbyastrongwoman!4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? SometimesIjustdon’tknowwhat’sthematterwithmen!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Youknow,lifeisfunny.Oneminutepeopleareyourbestfriendsandthenext you’refantasizingthatyouhaveyourownshow…6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? IknowwhenBarneycomeshomefromalongday,ItrytocleanupasquicklyasIcan. Itlookslikesomeonewastryingtohidesomething…7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? IhopethatMs.Jamisonhasn’tsharedherplanswiththenetworkoranyoneelse. Idon’tthinkherplansshouldgoforward.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. I’mexcitingtobebackinthebox.MaybethenFredandBarneycouldtakeaday offfromtheSlateRockandGravelCompany.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Well,IwoulddefinitelylookattheMartian.Ijustdon’ttrustanyonethatisn’t fromthe3rdrock.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
Boris&NatashaApproachingthetable: Boris:Hello.Allowmetointroducemyself. Mynameis______________andthisis_________________my______________,___________. (Havefunandfillinwithwhateveryouwant.)1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? N:TalkingwithBettyRubble B:Aboutworlddomination,ofcourse.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? B:Shecouldbesupervillain. N:Idon’tknowifsheiscompetitionorifweshouldaskhertojoinourteam.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? B:Nooneeverlikesasupervillain.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? B:Whatisthis‘catwalk’?Ihaveseennocats. N:Butmaybecavemanisalargecat.Hehaveenoughhairtobecat.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? N:Thebestsupervillainsworkinpairs,ofcourse.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? B:IfIfindout,Iwillshowyouwhatarealvillaindoesto someonewhotakeshisweapons.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? N:Wedonotcareaboutthoseothershows. B:MotherRussiawillmakesurewealwayshaveaplacetopracticeworlddomination.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV N:Wearehappytohavemoreshowstotakeover. B:WewillshowyouthatWallStreetisnotasfrighteningasMotherRussia.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? B:IthinkyoushouldlookatthatGrannyandtheBird. N:Anyonewhopretendstobesosweetisalwayshidingsomething. Itisgoodcoverstory.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Boris&Natasha:Maybe
BrainySmurf1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwastalkingwithElroyaboutbuildingrobots.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Sheissmurfysmart.IthinksheandPapaSmurfwouldgetalongsmurfily.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Everyoneisjealousofthoseofuswithahigherintelligence.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? JustsmurfingaroundIsuppose.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Isasmurf’sbottomblue?6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? IntalkingtoElroy,I’mnotsurehowthatstuffevensmurfedinthere.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Ohmysmurf.Ihopewewillbeabletogobackontheair.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Ireallydon’tremembertheearlyyears…IwasonlyaSmurfling… soIwaslookingforwardtosmurfingallthatknowledge.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? It’sanySmurf’sguessbutbewareofthosetwocavewomen.Theyhuntinpacks.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
CaptainCaveman1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? CaptCavemanflyingroundprotecting.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? UngaBunga..CaveylikeyLindee.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? OtherladiesjealousofCaveman’sattention.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? CaveytrytowatchoutforLindee…trytomakeloveconnection.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Maybe…MyLindeebetallwoman.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Openend,stuffinside,closeup.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? CaptCavemannowgettoputonhimsnetwork.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Goodidea…wishCaveythoughtoffirst.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? MethinksPebbles…SherockcrushonCavey.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
DaphneBlake1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwaswithagroovygroupofactorsdiscussingoptionsandstyles.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? SherecognizedmytruetalentandbeautybybringingmetotheSatoonCon ratherthanShaggyandScooby.Ithinksheneededmetobringasenseofstyle totheconvention.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Ithinkshehadthisplannedallalongasapromotionalgimmick.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? CaptainCavemanhadbeenstalkingMsJamisonallweek.Whereveryousaw MsJamison,youknewthatCaptainCavemanwascloseby.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Ithinkbehindeverycrimeisamastermind.Idon’tthinkthissmalldisappearance requiredmorethanoneverysmartperson.Itdoesn’ttakeadegreeinastrophysicsto getridofsomeone.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Jeepers–thattrulyisamystery.Itsureiscuriousthatthosegadgets showeduptherethough!7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Myguessiswewillallbepaidfortheconventionandthenseewhathappens8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. IthinkthereisenoughrealityTVtoday…bachelors,housewives,teenmoms… bringbacksmartmysteriesandshowswithdomestichelp.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? IthinkI’venarroweditdowntoRussians,WitchHazelorMarvintheMartian. It’sjustsocurioushowtheiritemsshowedupinRosie.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? No.
ElroyJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwasinthebreakroomwiththeRugRatsandPebbles.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Awe,shewasabigmeanlady.KindaafemaleMr.Spacely.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? EepOppOrkAhAh.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? It’skindastrangethathewasupthere.MaybehehastheVenusVirus.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Asaspacecubwearetrainedtoconsidereverypossibility.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? AsamastertinkererIcanassureyouthatsomeonehadtoputthosethingsinsideRosie.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? I’mhopingwecanalltravelbacktothemoonandstayattheMoonhattenTiptonHotel.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Itwouldbegreataslongaswewerestillallowedtohavefunontheset.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? I’dnormallysayitwasoneofthoserockstarsmysisterlikeslikeJetScreamerbut IthinksomeonemoredowntoearthlikeWonderWomanmightbeguilty.Shesneaks aroundintheinvisibleairplaneallthetime.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.
GeorgeJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwasmakinganintergalacticcalltoMr.Spacelyaboutneedingtotakeahalfdayoff fromworktomorrow.Ijustcan’tworkanentire4hourswhilewestraighten thismessout!2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Ifyouaskme,thelittleladyshouldn’tberunningamulti-conglomerate. Ihopedthatshewouldgetulcersinhercylotron.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Herheadwasjustoutinspace.HerideaswerewayoutthereandIdon’tthink theywereagoodidea.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Ijustdon’tundertheprehistoricsclimbingeverywherewiththeirbarefeetandclubs. WhenIneedtogetuphighIjustuseahoverlift.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? ItcouldhavebeenthatgangfromOuterPlutonia. 6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? I’mnotsure.It’snotlikeRosietotakethings.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? I’mhopingthattheJetson’swillmakeabigcomebackjustlikewewere. Well,wecoulddowithoutthatJetScreameronourshow.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Slavedriver!Imagineputtingusbackonafourdayworkweek.Whatdoesshe thinkthisis?The20thcentury?ButI'vegotawife,twokidsand10finance companiestosupport,soIwouldhavedoneit.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? HaveyoutakenalookatthatBatfellow?Imeanhe’salwayswearingamask. What’shehiding?10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
Granny1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? HunnyIwastakingalittlenapinthegreenroomandmissedthewholething. Whenyougettobemyagedailynapsareveryimportant.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? IthinksheneededaTasmanianDevilsetlooseinherbritches.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Landsakes,hun.Whenyoutreatpeoplethewayshedidyoube4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Idon’tknowbutIthinkthatharrylittlebeastneedssomeclipperstakentothat headofhis.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Landsakesit’sanyone’sguessbutinmyexperienceonelittlecatcanget intoalotallbythemselves.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Ithinkshe’salittlecleptoroboifyaaskme.Andforgetfultoo. Probablyhidthatstuffinthereandthenforgotwhereshehidit.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? WellI’mhopingIgetalittlemoreairtime.Ihavealotofcatfoodandbirdfoodtobuy.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV Landsakesalivehoney.I’mlikethatenergizerbunnyfella. I’lljustkeepgoin’andgoin’andgoin’aslongastheywillputmeontheair.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Wellifyou’relookingforbrainsbehindanoperationIwouldn’toverlookthatlittle spaceboy,Elroy.He’saboyandinmyexperienceboysarejustasmischievousascats.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
InspectorGadget1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswithseveralothercharacterswhenWonderWomancameinandtoldus shewasmissing.Ifearshe’smetwithfoulplay.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Wowzers!Jamisonwasn’tverylikeable.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Haveyoumetthewoman?She’saboutaspleasantasacoiledrattlesnakeorDr.Claw.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Heseemstobeharmlessbutgetshimselfintotroubleeverywherehegoes.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? That’saverygoodquestion.I’mgoingtohavetoconsultmyniecePennyand seewhatshehastosayaboutthat.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? WellasanadvancedbionicinspectorIhavefoundthemoregadgetsyoucan incorporateintoyoursystemthemoreefficientyoubecome.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Isuspectthatwillbeuptothenewheadofthenetwork.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV? Ithinksit’sagrandplan!Nostalgiaisawonderfulthing.I’msureeveryonewouldenjoymanymoreseasonofmyshow.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? BetweenyouandmeIfindthosetwoRussianstobehighlysuspicious.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.Afteryourlastquestionsay:Youallmakeagoodpoint!IneedtocallChiefQuimby.Go,GoGadgetphone!(Puttingyouhandtoyourheadandsaying)Hello…..Hello…(asyouwalkaway.)
JaneJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? OurhomefooddispenserbrokeandIhadtowait20secondsatthe checkoutcounter,suchinefficiency.Iwastiedupallafternoon.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shereallydidn’tunderstandtheimportanceofthenuclearfamily. Sheshouldn’tbeinchargeoffamilyTVprogramming.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Haveyoumether?4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Prehistoriccharactersoftenhaveahardtimeadjustingtothemoderntechnologies.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? WhereI’mfromallittakesisaperson,agarbageshootormalfunctioning vacuumrobottomakethathappen.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Shecouldhavemalfunctionedandhidthestuffthereherself.Sheisanolder modelXB-500inhomemaidbutshewastheonlyoneleftat U-Rent-A-Maidthatwecouldafford.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Theywillgoontolivetheirlivesandtakecareoftheirfamilies.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Itwouldbewonderfultobringourwholesome,futuristicfamilybackto thesmallscreenagain.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Welltheprehistoricbabygirljustrunsamokanddoeswhatevershelikes. Ithinkshe’salittlemoresneakythanpeoplegivehercreditfor.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
JudyJetson1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? WaitinginlineforthelatestJetScreameralbum!He’sjustsodreamy!2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Ican’tevenbelieveshewantsustogetridofRosie!Imean,whowillhelpat ourhomethen?Oh,yeah,andit’sprobablynogoodthatshewantsElroytoleavetoo.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Icouldn’ttellyou.Imean,Iknowmomanddadwereupset,buttheideaofgetting someoneolderandmoredreamytotakeElroy’sspotdoesn’tbothermeatall! MaybetheycouldgetSkyRockertoplayElroy!He’ssodreamy.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Thatcavemanisneedstoletmeputhiminoursalonmachineathome. Ifwecouldgetthathairstyledthenmaybehecouldbeonarealcatwalk!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? DoristoldSusieandSusietoldMaryandMarytoldFrancieandFrancietoldmethatit alwaystakesmorethanonepersontocommitacrime!6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? You’llhavetoaskElroyaboutthat.He’salwaysconnectinganddisconnecting thingsinsideherhead!7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Iwilljustcry!Imean,howelsewillIgettomeetCosmicCosmoifnotona superspecialepisodeofourshow?!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV? AslongasIgettomeetnewboysandgotospaceconcerts,I’mhappytobeonas manytimesasshewantsmeto!9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? MaybeyoushouldtalktothatVelmagirl.I’venevermetanotherteenagegirlwho doesn’tjustlovemoviestarsandrockmusicians!Somethinghastobewrongwithher!10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
Phil&LilDeVille1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Phil:Wewereinthebreakroom. Lil:WithPebblesandElroy.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Lil:Shewasn’tverynice. Phil:Shewouldn’tgetusakitty!3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Lil:Sheneverlistenedtoanyone. Phil:Shealwaysorderedotherpeoplearound.KindalikeAngelica.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Phil:Itwasn’tthecaveman. Lil:Itwasaliens!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Lil:Thingsareeasierwithabunchofbabies. Phil:Likeopeningdoorsandstuffyou’retooshorttoreach.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Lil:Itlookslikeaplacetohidestuff. Phil:Yeahlikewhenyouhideyourtoysinyourdiaper.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Phil:Wegoon. Lil:Forever.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. Phil:Whatdoyoumean?We’restillon. Lil:Somewhere.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Phil:I’dcheckoneofthosebluepeople.Especiallythatsmartone. Lil:Theyaresostrange.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Phil&Lil:Maybe
MarvintheMartian)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwasworkingonmyeludiumpu36spacemodulator.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shewasapowerfulwomanandpowerfulpeoplemakeimportantallieswhen youareworkingonaproject.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Shehadmanyplansforchangeandearthlingsdonotlikechange.ButIwillsolve allthoseproblemswhenIreturntoMarswithmyfaithfulcompanionK-9.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Ihadaskedhimtohelpmecollecteludiumfromthecommontheaterlamps buthewasallthumbs.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Thebestwaytotakecareofaproblemiswithanarmyofinvaders. IalwayscallouttheMartianreserves.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? IfindhertechnologytobemuchmoreinferiortoMartiantechnology. Ourrobotsnevermalfunctioninthatway.It’smuchtoodangeroustotheinhabitants.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Thatisanirrelevantquestionearthling.BecauseassoonasIreturntoMars IwilldisintegrateyourplanetinanEarthshatteringKABOOM!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV? Please sir, do not interrupt my chain of thought, with silly questions like this. I'm a busy Martian.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Ifindthatbumblingroboticinspectorhighlysuspicious.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? MaybeAfteryouansweryour3rdquestionasyouleavesay:
Idonothavetimeforthisyouearthlings…..Delays.Delays.
PebblesFlintstone1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswiththeRugRatsandElroyhangingoutinthebreakroom.Butthere weren’tanygoodsnacks.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Shewasameenie!Ididnotlikeher.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Um,becauseshewasameenie!4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? He’salwaysshowingupinstrangeplaces.ButtheRugRatssaidthatthere werealiensinthecatwalks.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Welliftheyweremysizetheywouldneedseveral.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Ithinkshewentalittlebitbonkersandstuffedallthatstuffintoherself.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Ihopethatweliveonforeverinreruns.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV I’myoungsoitwouldhavegivenmejobsecurity.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Idon’ttrustthosefuturisticspacetravelers.ThatJetson’smotherisalways bossingkidsaround.Ithinkshelikesbeingincharge.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
RosietheRobot1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwasinaworkshop.No.No.Iwasinthebreakroom.No.Iwas...confused.
Iwasconfused2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Myprotocolsdonnotallowmetofeel.IfIstartedfeelingIwould
besentbacktotheU-Rent-A-Maidstore.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Itappearsthatmanypeopledidnotcareforher.Notatall.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Thatisagoodquestion.Averygoodquestion.Heissuchaverystrangelittlecreature.
Heseemstobeuptosomething.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Well,Iitisstrangethatitemsfrom3differentpeoplewerehiddeninsideof
meforsomereason.Daphnefindsitsuspicious.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Idonotknowhowallofthosethingsendedupinsideofme.IknowthatIhave
notfeltmyselfallday.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Welleveryoneseemshappythatshe’sgone.Theyallthinkthiswillsolvetheirproblems.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV Itseemsthatitissomethingthatpeoplelikeyouwouldenjoyandsupport.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? Ithinkthatscreaming,little,hairy,man10)DidyoukillLindaJamison?
Maybe
Smurfette1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance?Iwassmurfingmyhairinmydressingroom.Ittakesalotofworktobethissmurfyallthetime.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison?Well,eventhoughshecouldbemean,westrongwomenshouldsmurftogether.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted?Peopleareoftenjealousofsmurfywomen.Theyunderestimateusandwhenweshowhowsmurfywecanbe,theydon’talwayslikeit.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk?Catwalk?Idomybesttosteerclearofcats!HaveyouseenAzraelaroundhereanywhere?Ihatethatcat!5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance?Peoplewhoarereallysmurfydon’tneedanyhelp.Theycanhandlethingslikethatallbythemselves.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot?Whoknows?Ican’tbeexpectedtosmurfotherpeople’sthings.Ihavetodothatformyvillagealready.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone?Ohmysmurf!Ijustdon’tknow,butIreallyhopesomeonekeepusontheair!8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTVIthoughtitwasjustsmurfy!KidseverywherewillgettoseemeandmyvillageofSmurfseveryweek!9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison?IthinkyoushouldlookatDaphne.Shethinkssheissosmurfy.She’snottheonlyprettyfacearoundhere,youknow!10)DidyoukillLindaJamison?Maybe
VelmaDinkley1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswiththeotherinvestigatorswhenWonderWomantoldusshewasmissing.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Well,manypeopleareintimidatedbystrongintelligentwomen.Iwasn’tintimidatedby herbutshewasnotapleasantpersontobearound.Andsheknewnothingabout fashion-thissweaterisaclassic.Frumpymy…astrophysics!3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Itseemedlikeshedidn’tlikewhatanyonewasdoingontheirshowsexcept Daphnemaybe.Everyonehadtheirreasonsfornotlikingher.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Heseemstodoalotofsneakingaround.Andhe’scarelesswiththatclubofhis.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? Intheepisodesofourcrime-fightingcartoonitwasalmostalwaysoneperson. IftherewasadisgruntledfarmerorcarnivalworkeraroundhereI’dbesureitwashim.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Idon’tknow.Ididn’tgetachancetoinvestigatethatbecausemyglasses weremissingandIwastryingtofindthem.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Hopefullytheywillcontinueforyearstocomeinpeacefulharmony.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV IthinkthatJamisonwastakingthingstoofar.Peopleenjoytheoriginalformatsoftheir childhoodcartoons.Herchangesweregoingtotakeittoofar. Imean,thissweaterisn’tfrumpy.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? I’mgettingclosertofindingtheculprit.I’msureitwasanotherfemale.Ifindteenage spacegirlswithrockstarobsessionstobehighlysuspect.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe
WitchHazel1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? IwaswithGadgetandtheotherswhenWonderWomancameinandsaid Jamisonwasmissing.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? Jamisonwasanidiot!Firingsomeonewithmyabilitiesandhistorywiththe LooneyTuneswasjuststupid.Ihadalittlepotionaroundhereforjustsuchan occasionbutIcan’tfinditanywhere.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Didyoumeether?Ifyoudidyouwouldnothavetoaskthatquestion.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? Ihavenoclue.Hethinkshe’sThororsomethingflyingaroundwiththatclubofhis.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? OhhoneyIwouldn’tneedanyhelpifIweregoingtomakeherdisappear.Justone dropofmyspecialpotionand“POOF”!”She’dbegone.NowifIcanjustfindthat potionbottle.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Stuff?Whatstuff?Insidetherobotyousay.I’llhavetoseewhat’sgoingon.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Hopefullywewillgobacktonormal.Doingourshowsandkeepingourjobs.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV. IthinkbringingbackSaturdayMorningCartoonsisagreatidea…aslongasIamstill ontheLooneyTunes.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? HaveyoutakenalookatthatGeorgeJetsonfellow?Forafuturisticmanheseemstobe alittleoldfashionedinthewayhethinksaboutpowerfulwomen.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.
WonderWoman1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Um.Iwastheonewhodiscoveredshewasmissing.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? InmylineofworkIdealwithallsortsofdifficultpeoplesoIhavegottenused tothattype.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Idon’tthinkshewaslikedbyanyoneandshewantedtomakealotofchanges. Peopledon’tnormallylikechange.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? He’sjustastrangelittlecaveman.I’veheardthatfromthereyoucanseeandhear everythinggoingoninthecontrolroomandonthestage.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? It’smucheasiertopulloffacrimewithanaccomplice.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Iworkmorewithmagicalitemslikemylassooftruthandinvisibleairplane. Idon’tknowanythingaboutfuturisticelectronics.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Hopefullytheywillcontinueoninsyndicationforever.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV IthinkrestarttheSaturdayMorningcartoonsisagreatideaaslongasthe JusticeLeagueweretogetthebesttimeslot.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? I’mnormallysuspiciousofthecriminaltypesbutthatAngelicagirlisvicious. Shescaresme.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.
WilmaFlintstone1)WherewereyouwhenyouheardaboutLindaJamison’sdisappearance? Iwasintheexhibithalldemonstratinghowouroctopusdishwasherworks.2)HowdidyoureallyfeeltowardLindaJamison? HowcouldanyonefeelanythinggoodaboutMiss.Jamison?Shewasanawfulperson.3)WhydoyouthinkLindaJamisonwastargeted? Everyonedislikedher.Sheshouldhavejustwalkedaroundwithatargetonherback.4)WhydoyouthinkCaptainCavemanwasonthecatwalk? He’sastrangelittlecaveman,nothinglikethoseofusfrombedrock. Idon’thaveanyideawhyhewouldclimbupthere.5)DoyouthinktherecouldhavebeenmorethanonepersoninvolvedwithJamison’sdisappearance? It’sverypossible.Inacavecommunitythebestwaytotakecareofaproblemis withthehelpofothers.6)HowdoyouthinkallthatstuffendedupinsideRosietherobot? Ican’timaginewhysuchafuturisticcharacterwouldhaveaproblem. Allourhousehelpismucheasiertofix.7)WhatwillhappentoalltheshowsnowthatJamisonisgone? Ihopethatwecanalljustgobacktotakingcareofourfamiliesanddoingourshows.8)HowdoyoufeelaboutJamison’splanstobringSaturdayMorningcartoonsbacktoTV IthinkthatSaturdayMorningcartoonsarethebest.Weneedtobringthemback,but thewaytheywere…notwithallthoseupdates.9)WhodoyouthinkreallydidawaywithLindaJamison? WellifIwereyouI’dbelookingatthosetwins.Theygivemethecreeps. Alwaystogether,standingaround.Theyremindmeofsomethingfromahorrormovie. Theyarealwayssneakingaround.10)DidyoukillLindaJamison? Maybe.