Constables conflict

transcript

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Conflict Management

Objectives

• Understand and apply conflict management styles.

• Build communication skills for dealing with conflict directly and effectively.

• Build skills in handling difficult conversations.

Conflict Management Styles

Cooperativeness

Assertiveness

Avoiding

Competing

Compromising

Collaborating

Accommodating

Communication Skills

• Active Listening

• Assertive Communication

• I Statements

Active Listening

Encourage

Question

Restate

Reflect

Summarize

Validate

Making Active Listening Work

Be authentic. Be energetic and focused. Be aware of your internal voice. Avoid assumptions. Empathize. Watch nonverbal behaviors. Do not interrupt, offer advice, or make

suggestions.

Assertive Communication

Deal with situation directly.

Start with what matters

Use I statements.

I Statements

• I feel (state your emotion)

• When you (state the specific action that you are

concerned about)

• Because (state the impact on your life)

• And I want (state the change in behavior you want).

Difficult Conversations:

Move from Delivering a Message to a Learning Conversation

What makes conversations What makes conversations difficult?difficult?

Difficult Conversations: Three Conversations in One

What Happened?

Feelings

Identity

What Happened?

The Truth Assumption

The Intention Invention

The Blame Frame

accept multiple perspectives

disentangle intent from impact

move from blame to contribution

Feelings

Difficult conversations are at their core about feelings.

You are not really dealing with the issue if you leave out feelings.

Identity

Ask what is at stake for you:Am I competent?Am I a good person?

Ask what is at stake for the other person.

What can help when your identity is What can help when your identity is challenged?challenged?

Ground your identity.Accept that: You will make mistakes. You are complex. You have contributed to the problem.

Let go of trying to control the other person’s reaction.

Prepare for the other person’s response.

When you deliver a message, you When you deliver a message, you often want to:often want to:

Prove a point.Prove a point. Give the other person a piece of your mind.Give the other person a piece of your mind. Get the other person to do or be what you Get the other person to do or be what you

want.want.

In a learning conversation, you::

Try to understand what has happened from the other person’s point of view.

Explain your point of view. Share and understand feelings Work together to manage the problem in

the future.

Communicating ClearlyDo: Start with what matters most. Speak directly. Acknowledge different perspectives; use “and.”Don’t: Be too simplistic. Present your conclusions as truth. Use “always” and “never.”

Problem Solving Set the stage: purpose of meeting, ground rules. Begin with the Third Story. Listen to the other person’s perspective. Communicate clearly. Define the problem. Brainstorm options. Evaluate options. Develop a solution.

The Third Story:

neutral description of the situation acknowledging differences between your perspectives, with no judgment involved..

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Constables conflict

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