Symbols are Arbitrary and Ambiguous

• Words have different meanings in different cultures

• Meanings of words change over time• What they mean isn’t clear cut• People have different understandings of words

Symbols are Abstract

• Not concrete or tangible• “Cat” is not literally “A Cat”

Meanings Of Language Is Subjective

• Constructing meaning is symbolic• Meanings of words are never absolute

Language Is Rule-Guided

• Being verbal is guided by generally understood rules

• Communication rules: shared understanding of what communication means

• Regulative rules specify when, where and with whom you talk with about certain things.

• Constructive Rules say how to interpret diff. kind of communication

Punctuation shapes meaning

• Helps define when interaction ends and starts• Demand – withdraw Pattern:– One person wants to talk intimately while the

other person avoids it– Causes the demander to feel misunderstood

Symbolic Abilities

• The world is full of meaning and ideas

A Language Defines

• Language Shapes Perception– Labeling will make you overlook other aspects

• Language Can Totalize– Totalize is when we perceive one label is who

someone is• Totaling is defined by a single aspect• Stereotyping are multiple aspects of a group

Language:

• Affects relationships– Pos. or neg. difference

• Language Reflects and Shapes Perception– Things we like: focus on the positive, downplay

flaws and vice versa• Language can be loaded– Strongly influences meanings

Guidelines for Improving Verbal Communication

• Engage in Dual-perspective– Being person-centered to see their

side/perspective– Use both your own and others perspective

• Own your Feelings and Thoughts– Understand that the feeling is yours– Blaming others for your feelings dismisses

personal responses

I language vs You language

• I language takes responsibility, You blames others

• I language is more descriptive• You language is accusatory and abstract• I language provides concrete descriptions of

behaviors we dislike w/o directly placing blame

• I language causes people to not be defensive• You language can be effective when used as

praise• I language is more honest• I language is more empowering

Respect others Feelings

• Effective communicators don’t argue or dispute people’s thoughts and feelings

• Don’t attempt to mind read

Strive for Accuracy and Clarity

• Be aware of Levels of Abstraction– A consciousness of levels of abstraction improves

communication• Abstract language allows us to generalize• Abstract words work when both parties have

concrete knowledge of what is being discussed

• Abstract can lead to misunderstanding when talking about change

Qualify Language

• Assists in clear communication• Qualify generalizations and descriptions• Static Evaluation: assessment that says

something is unchanging or fixed• Indexing: A reminder that our evaluations only

apply during certain circumstances

Language Organizes Perceptions

• The category we put someone in organizes our perception of words

Friend or Enemy

Language Allows Abstract Thought

• Abstract thoughts: Justice, Integrity, Love• Furniture is concrete, the idea of furniture is

abstract

Language can Stereotype

• Abstract can distort thinking– Stereotyping: Generalizing a group– Classifying based on perceptions and overlook

differences (blue collar workers, athletes)• Generalizing creates efficient cognitive thinking– Placing people in categories is a tool for thinking, but

is not objective

Language Allows Hypothetical Thought

• We can think beyond concrete situations– Hypothetical thought uses symbols– Symbolize to remember and reflect on ideas

• We live in 3 dimensions of time– Present is infused with out past and future– Past and future affect our communication

• We can foster personal growth– Hypothetical thinking helps us grow (present: college

future: degree)

Language Allows Self Reflection

• 2 Aspects to the self:– I: Spontaneous, creative self• Acts impulsively from inner needs and desires

– Me: Socially conscious self or the “I moderator”• Me analyzed the I to self reflect

Self Reflection Allows Communication Monitoring and to Manage our Image

• Monitor ourselves and adjust communication to be effective communicators

• We work hard to be perceived in certain ways

Some sort of fucking conclusion I guess

• The end