interpersonal

communication

defining

the process

of message transaction between people

to create and sustain shared meaning

components

process: an ongoing, unending, vibrant activity that always changes

message exchange: the transaction of verbal and non verbal messages, or information, being sent simultaneously between people

meaning: what communicators create together through the use of verbal and nonverbal messages

principles

interpersonal communication is:

unavoidable

irreversible

symbolic

rule-governed

and has both:

content and relationship levels

unavoidable

- ‘you cannot not communicate’

as hard as we try, we cannot prevent someone else from making meaning out of our behavior – it is inevitable and unavoidable

even our silence and avoidance of eye contact are communicative

it is this quality that makes interpersonal communication transactional

irreversible

there are times when we wish we hadn’t said something

wouldn’t it be great if we could take back a comment and pretend that id hadn’t been spoken?

the principle of irreversibility means that what we say to others cannot be reversed

symbolic

one important reason interpersonal communication occurs is because symbols are mutually agreed upon by the participants in the process

symbols are arbitrary labels or representations for feelings, concepts, objects, or events

rule governed

rule: a prescribed guide that indicates what behavior is obligated, preferred, or prohibited in certain contexts

rules are important ingredients in our relationships; they help guide and structure our interpersonal communication

we can choose whether or not we wish to follow a rule

learned

people obviously believe that interpersonal communication is a learned process

yet, we often take for granted our ability to communicate

still, we all need to refine and cultivate our skills to communicate with a wide assortment of people; you must be able to make informed communication choices in changing times

content level

each message that you communicate to another contains information on two levels

content level; refers to the information contained in the message

the words you speak to another person and how you say those words constitute the content of the message

content, then, includes both verbal and nonverbal components

relationship level

a message also contains a:

relationship level: how you want the receiver of a message to interpret your message

the relational dimension of a message gives us some idea how the speaker and the listener feel about each other

both

content and relationship levels works simultaneously in a message, and it is difficult to think about sending a message that doesn’t, in some way, comment on the relationship between the sender and the receiver

in other words, we can’t really separate the two; we always express an idea or thought (content), but that thought is always presented within a relational framework

myths about interpersonal communications people operate under several misconceptions about

interpersonal communication

solves all problems

is always a good thing

is common sense

is synonymous with interpersonal relationship

is always face to face

these myths impede our understanding and enactment of effective communication

- solves all problems

when you learn to communicate well, you may communicate clearly about a problem but not necessarily be able to solve it

communication involves both talking and listening …

- always a good thing

dark side of interpersonal communication: negative communication exchanges between people, such as manipulation, deceit and verbal aggression

we need to be aware that communication can be downright nasty at times and that interpersonal communication is not always satisfying and rewarding

- is common sense

consider the following question:

if interpersonal communication is just a matter of common sense, why do we have so many problems communicating with others?

we need to abandon the idea that communication is simply common sense

making the assumption that all people intuitively know how to communicate with everyone ignores the significant cultural differences in communication norms

- synonymous with interpersonal relationships

interpersonal communication cal lead to interpersonal relationships;

but an accumulation of interpersonal messages does not automatically result in an interpersonal relationship

face to face

face-to-face is the primary way that people meet and cultivate their interpersonal skills with each other

mediated interpersonal communication (Internet) requires us to expand our discussion of interpersonal communication beyond personal encounters

communication effectiveness

at the core of communication effectiveness are two behaviors:

communication competency: the ability to communicate with knowledge, skills, and thoughtfulness

civil communication: the acceptance of another person as an equal partner in achieving meaning during communication

competency

when we are competent, our communication is both appropriate and effective

we use communication appropriately when we accommodate the cultural expectations for communicating, including using the rules, understanding the roles, and ‘being other-centered’

civility

civility requires sensitivity to the experiences of the other communicator

when we are civil communicators, we acknowledge multiple viewpoints

time for workshop

communication, perception & the self

source

Littlejohn, S. W. & Foss, K. A. (2008) Theories of Human Communication (9th edition).

thank you very much

for your attention