transcript
- 1. BillClinton MyLife ALFREDA.KNOPFNEW YORK 2004
Tomymother,whogaveme aloveoflife
- 2. ToHillary,whogavemea lifeoflove ToChelsea,whogavejoy
andmeaningtoitall Andtothememoryofmy grandfather,
whotaughtmetolookupto peopleotherslookeddown on,
becausewerenotso
- 3. differentafterall
- 4. PROLOGUE WhenIwasayoungmanjust outoflawschoolandeager
togetonwithmylife,ona whimIbrieflyputasidemy
readingpreferenceforfiction andhistoryandboughtoneof
thosehow-tobooks:Howto GetControlofYourTimeand
YourLife,byAlanLakein.
- 5. Thebooksmainpointwas thenecessityoflistingshort-,
medium-,andlong-termlife goals,thencategorizingthem
inorderoftheirimportance, withtheAgroupbeingthe
mostimportant,theBgroup next,andtheCthelast,then
listingundereachgoal specific activitiesdesignedtoachieve
- 6. them.Istillhavethat paperbackbook,nowalmost thirty
yearsold.AndImsureI havethatoldlistsomewhere
buriedinmypapers,thoughI cantfindit.However,Ido remembertheAlist.I
wantedtobeagoodman, haveagood marriageandchildren,have
- 7. goodfriends,makea successfulpoliticallife,and writea
greatbook. WhetherImagoodmanis, ofcourse,forGodtojudge.I
knowthatIamnotasgood asmystrongestsupporters believeorasIhopeto
become,norasbadasmy harshest
- 8. criticsassert.Ihavebeen gracedbeyondmeasureby
myfamilylifewithHillary and Chelsea.Likeallfamilies
lives,oursisnotperfect,but ithasbeenwonderful.Its flaws,
asalltheworldknows,are mostlymine,andits continuingpromiseis
groundedintheir
- 9. love.NopersonIknowever hadmoreorbetterfriends.
Indeed,astrongcasecanbe madethatIrosetothe presidencyontheshoulders
ofmypersonalfriends,the now legendaryFOBs. Mylifeinpoliticswasajoy.
IlovedcampaignsandI lovedgoverning.Ialways
- 10. tried tokeepthingsmovinginthe rightdirection,togivemore
peopleachancetolivetheir dreams,toliftpeoples
spirits,andtobringthem together.ThatsthewayI keptscore.
Asforthegreatbook,who knows?Itsureisagood story.
- 11. ONE Earlyonthemorningof August19,1946,Iwasborn
underaclearskyaftera violent summerstormtoawidowed
motherintheJuliaChester HospitalinHope,atownof aboutsixthousandin
southwestArkansas,thirty- threemileseastoftheTexas
- 12. borderat Texarkana.Mymother namedmeWilliamJefferson
BlytheIIIaftermyfather, William JeffersonBlytheJr.,oneof
ninechildrenofapoor farmerinSherman,Texas, whodied whenmyfatherwas
seventeen.Accordingtohis
- 13. sisters,myfatheralways triedtotake careofthem,andhegrewup
tobeahandsome, hardworking,fun-loving man.Hemet mymotheratTri-State
HospitalinShreveport, Louisiana,in1943,whenshe wastraining
tobeanurse.Manytimes
- 14. whenIwasgrowingup,I askedMothertotellmethe storyof
theirmeeting,courting,and marriage.Hebroughtadate
withsomekindofmedical emergencyintotheward whereshewasworking,and
theytalkedandflirtedwhile the otherwomanwasbeing
- 15. treated.Onhiswayoutofthe hospital,hetouchedthe fingeron
whichshewaswearingher boyfriendsringandasked herifshewasmarried.She
stammerednoshewas single.Thenextdayhesent theotherwomanflowersand
her heartsank.Thenhecalled
- 16. Motherforadate,explaining thathealwayssentflowers when
heendedarelationship. Twomonthslater,theywere marriedandhewasoffto
war.Heservedinamotor pool intheinvasionofItaly,
repairingjeepsandtanks. Afterthewar,hereturnedto
- 17. Hopefor Motherandtheymovedto Chicago,wherehegotback
hisoldjobasasalesmanfor the ManbeeEquipment Company.Theyboughta
littlehouseinthesuburbof ForestParkbut couldntmoveinforacouple
ofmonths,andsinceMother
- 18. waspregnantwithme,they decidedsheshouldgohome
toHopeuntiltheycouldget intothenewhouse.OnMay 17,
1946,aftermovingtheir furnitureintotheirnew home,myfatherwasdriving
from ChicagotoHopetofetchhis wife.Lateatnighton
- 19. Highway60outsideof Sikeston, Missouri,helostcontrolof
hiscar,a1942Buick,when therightfronttireblewout ona
wetroad.Hewasthrown clearofthecarbutlandedin,
orcrawledinto,adrainage ditch dugtoreclaimswampland.
- 20. Theditchheldthreefeetof water.Whenhewasfound, aftera
two-hoursearch,hishand wasgraspingabranchabove
thewaterline.Hehadtried but failedtopullhimselfout.He
drowned,onlytwenty-eight yearsold,marriedtwoyears
andeightmonths,onlyseven
- 21. monthsofwhichhehadspent withMother.
Thatbriefsketchisaboutall Ieverreallyknewaboutmy
father.AllmylifeIhave beenhungrytofillinthe
blanks,clingingeagerlyto everyphotoorstoryorscrap of
paperthatwouldtellme moreofthemanwhogave
- 22. melife. WhenIwasabouttwelve, sittingonmyuncleBuddys
porchinHope,amanwalked upthesteps,lookedatme, andsaid,YoureBill
Blythesson.Youlookjust likehim.I beamedfordays.
In1974,Iwasrunningfor
- 23. Congress.Itwasmyfirst raceandthelocalpaperdida
featurestoryonmymother. Shewasatherregularcoffee
shopearlyinthemorning discussingthearticlewitha
lawyerfriendwhenoneof thebreakfastregularsshe knew
onlycasuallycameuptoher andsaid,Iwasthere,Iwas
- 24. thefirstoneatthewreckthat night.HethentoldMother
whathehadseen,including thefactthatmyfatherhad retainedenough
consciousnessorsurvival instincttotrytoclawhimself upandoutofthe
waterbeforehedied.Mother thankedhim,wentouttoher
carandcried,thendriedher
- 25. tearsandwenttowork. In1993,onFathersDay,my
firstasPresident,the WashingtonPostranalong investigativestoryonmy
father,whichwasfollowed overthenexttwomonthsby other
investigativepiecesbythe AssociatedPressandmany
smallerpapers.Thestories
- 26. confirmedthethingsmy motherandIknew.Theyalso
turnedupalotwedidnt know, includingthefactthatmy
fatherhadprobablybeen marriedthreetimesbeforehe met
Mother,andapparentlyhad atleasttwomorechildren.
Myfathersothersonwas
- 27. identifiedasLeon Ritzenthaler,aretiredowner ofa
janitorialservice,from northernCalifornia.Inthe
article,hesaidhehadwritten me duringthe92campaignbut
hadreceivednoreply.Idont rememberhearingabouthis
letter,andconsideringallthe
- 28. otherbulletswewere dodgingthen,itspossible thatmy
staffkeptitfromme.Or maybetheletterwasjust misplacedinthemountains
ofmailwe werereceiving.Anyway, whenIreadaboutLeon,Igot
intouchwithhimandlater met
- 29. himandhiswife,Judy, duringoneofmystopsin
northernCalifornia.Wehad ahappy visitandsincethenweve
correspondedinholiday seasons.HeandIlookalike, hisbirth
certificatesayshisfatherwas mine,andIwishIdknown
abouthimalongtimeago.
- 30. Somewherearoundthistime, Ialsoreceivedinformation
confirmingnewsstories aboutadaughter,Sharon Pettijohn,bornSharonLee
BlytheinKansasCityin 1941,toa womanmyfatherlater
divorced.Shesentcopiesof herbirthcertificate,her parents
- 31. marriagelicense,aphotoof myfather,andalettertoher
motherfrommyfather asking aboutourbabytoBetsey
Wright,myformerchiefof staffinthegovernorsoffice. Im
sorrytosaythat,for whateverreason,Ivenever mether.
- 32. Thisnewsbreakingin1993 cameasashocktoMother,
whobythenhadbeen battling cancerforsometime,butshe
tookitallinstride.Shesaid youngpeopledidalotof
thingsduringtheDepression andthewarthatpeoplein anothertimemight
disapproveof.
- 33. Whatmatteredwasthatmy fatherwastheloveofherlife
andshehadnodoubtofhis loveforher.Whateverthe
facts,thatsallsheneededto knowasherownlifemoved
towarditsend.Asforme,I wasntquitesurewhatto makeofitall,butgiventhe
life Iveled,Icouldhardlybe
- 34. surprisedthatmyfatherwas morecomplicatedthanthe
idealizedpicturesIhadlived withfornearlyhalfa century.
In1994,asweheadedforthe celebrationofthefiftieth
anniversaryofD-day,several newspaperspublishedastory
onmyfatherswarrecord, withasnapshotofhimin
- 35. uniform.Shortlyafterward,I receivedaletterfrom
UmbertoBaronofNetcong, New Jersey,recountinghisown
experiencesduringthewar andafter.Hesaidthathewas a
youngboyinItalywhenthe Americansarrived,andthat
helovedtogototheircamp,
- 36. whereonesoldierin particularbefriendedhim,
givinghimcandyand showinghimhow enginesworkedandhowto
repairthem.Heknewhim onlyasBill.Afterthewar, Baron
cametotheUnitedStates, and,inspiredbywhathehad
learnedfromthesoldierwho
- 37. calledhimLittleGIJoe,he openedhisowngarageand
startedafamily.Hetoldme he hadlivedtheAmerican dream,withathriving
businessandthreechildren. Hesaidhe owedsomuchofhissuccess
inlifetothatyoungsoldier, buthadnthadthe opportunity
- 38. tosaygood-byethen,andhad oftenwonderedwhathad
happenedtohim.Then,he said, OnMemorialDayofthis
year,Iwasthumbingthrough acopyoftheNewYork Daily Newswithmymorning
coffeewhensuddenlyIfelt asifIwasstruckby lightning.There
- 39. inthelowerleft-handcorner ofthepaperwasaphotoof
Bill.Ifeltchillstolearnthat Bill wasnoneotherthanthe
fatherofthePresidentofthe UnitedStates. In1996,thechildrenofone
ofmyfatherssisterscame forthefirsttimetoour annual
- 40. familyChristmaspartyatthe WhiteHouseandbroughtme
agift:thecondolenceletter myaunthadreceivedfrom
hercongressman,thegreat SamRayburn,aftermyfather
died.Itsjustashortform letterandappearstohave
beensignedwiththeautopen ofthe day,butIhuggedthatletter
- 41. withallthegleeofasix- year-oldboygettinghisfirst train
setfromSantaClaus.Ihung itinmyprivateofficeonthe
secondflooroftheWhite House,andlookedatitevery night.
ShortlyafterIlefttheWhite House,Iwasboardingthe
USAirshuttleinWashington
- 42. forNewYorkwhenanairline employeestoppedmetosay
thathisstepfatherhadjust toldhimhehadservedinthe
warwithmyfatherandhad likedhimverymuch.Iasked fortheoldvetsphone
numberandaddress,andthe mansaidhedidnthaveitbut would
getittome.Imstillwaiting,
- 43. hopingtherewillbeone morehumanconnectionto my father.
Attheendofmypresidency, Ipickedafewspecialplaces
tosaygoodbyeandthanks totheAmericanpeople.One
ofthemwasChicago,where Hillarywasborn;whereIall
- 44. butclinchedtheDemocratic nominationonSt.Patricks
Day1992;wheremanyofmy mostardentsupporterslive andmanyofmymost
importantdomestic initiativesincrime, welfare,andeducationwere
provedeffective;and,of course,wheremyparents wentto
- 45. liveafterthewar.Iusedto jokewithHillarythatifmy
fatherhadntlosthislifeon that rainyMissourihighway,I
wouldhavegrownupafew milesfromherandwe probably
neverwouldhavemet.My lasteventwasinthePalmer HouseHotel,sceneofthe
only
- 46. photoIhaveofmyparents together,takenjustbefore
MothercamebacktoHopein 1946.Afterthespeechand
thegood-byes,Iwentintoa smallroomwhereImeta woman,MaryEttaRees,and
hertwodaughters.Shetold meshehadgrownupand gone
tohighschoolwithmy
- 47. mother,thenhadgonenorth toIndianatoworkinawar industry,
married,stayed,andraised herchildren.Thenshegave
meanotherpreciousgift:the lettermytwenty-three-year-
oldmotherhadwrittenonher birthdaytoherfriend,three
weeksaftermyfathers death,morethanfifty-four
- 48. yearsearlier.Itwasvintage Mother. Inherbeautifulhand,she
wroteofherheartbreakand herdeterminationtocarry on:It
seemedalmostunbelievable atthetimebutyouseeIam
sixmonthspregnantandthe thoughtofourbabykeepsme
goingandreallygivesmethe
- 49. wholeworldbeforeme. Mymotherleftmethe weddingringshegavemy
father,afewmovingstories, andthe sureknowledgethatshewas
lovingmeforhimtoo. Myfatherleftmewiththe feelingthatIhadtolivefor
twopeople,andthatifIdidit
- 50. wellenough,somehowI couldmakeupforthelifehe
shouldhavehad.Andhis memory infusedme,atayoungerage
thanmost,withasenseofmy ownmortality.The knowledgethatI,too,could
dieyoungdrovemebothto trytodrainthemostoutof every
- 51. momentoflifeandtogeton withthenextbigchallenge.
EvenwhenIwasntsure where Iwasgoing,Iwasalwaysin ahurry. TWO
Iwasbornonmy grandfathersbirthday,a coupleofweeksearly,
weighinginata
- 52. respectablesixpoundseight ounces,onatwenty-one-inch
frame.MotherandIcame hometoherparentshouse onHerveyStreetinHope,
whereIwouldspendthenext four years.Thatoldhouseseemed
massiveandmysteriousto methenandstillholdsdeep
memoriestoday.Thepeople
- 53. ofHoperaisedthefundsto restoreitandfillitwithold
pictures,memorabilia,and periodfurniture.Theycallit
theClintonBirthplace.It certainlyistheplaceI
associatewithawakeningto lifetothesmellsofcountry food;to
buttermilkchurns,ice-cream makers,washboards,and
- 54. clotheslines;tomyDickand Janereaders,myfirsttoys,
includingasimplelengthof chainIprizedabovethem all;to
strangevoicestalkingover ourpartylinetelephone;to
myfirstfriends,andthework mygrandparentsdid.
Afterayearorso,mymother
- 55. decidedsheneededtogo backtoNewOrleansto
CharityHospital,whereshe haddonepartofhernursing
training,tolearntobea nurse anesthetist.Intheolddays,
doctorshadadministered theirownanesthetics,so therewas
ademandforthisrelatively
- 56. newwork,whichwouldbring moreprestigetoherand more
moneyforus.Butitmust havebeenhardonher, leavingme.Ontheother
hand,New Orleanswasanamazing placeafterthewar,fullof
youngpeople,Dixieland music,and
- 57. over-the-tophauntslikethe ClubMy-Oh-My,wheremen
indragdancedandsangas lovelyladies.Iguessit wasntabadplacefora
beautifulyoungwidowto movebeyond herloss. IgottovisitMothertwice
whenmygrandmothertook meonthetraintoNew
- 58. Orleans. Iwasonlythree,butI remembertwothingsclearly.
First,westayedjustacross Canal StreetfromtheFrench
QuarterintheJungHotel,on oneofthehigherfloors.It wasthe
firstbuildingmorethantwo storieshighIhadeverbeen
- 59. in,inthefirstrealcityIhad ever seen.Icanremembertheawe
Ifeltlookingoutoverallthe citylightsatnight.Idont
recallwhatMotherandIdid inNewOrleans,butIll neverforgetwhathappened
oneof thetimesIgotonthetrainto leave.Aswepulledaway
- 60. fromthestation,Mother kneltby thesideoftherailroadtracks
andcriedasshewavedgood- bye.Icanseehertherestill,
cryingonherknees,asifit wereyesterday. Formorethanfiftyyears,
fromthatfirsttrip,New Orleanshasalwayshada special
- 61. fascinationforme.Iloveits music,food,people,and
spirit.WhenIwasfifteen, my familytookavacationto
NewOrleansandtheGulf Coast,andIgottohearAl Hirt,the
greattrumpeter,inhisown club.Atfirsttheywouldnt letmeinbecauseIwas
underage.
- 62. AsMotherandIwereabout towalkaway,thedoorman
toldusthatHirtwassitting inhis carreadingjustaroundthe
corner,andthatonlyhecould letmein.Ifoundhimin his
Bentleynolesstappedon thewindow,andmademy case.Hegotout,tookMother
and
- 63. meintotheclub,andputus atatablenearthefront.He
andhisgroupplayedagreat setitwasmyfirstlivejazz
experience.AlHirtdied whileIwasPresident.Iwrote his
wifeandtoldherthestory, expressingmygratitudefora
bigmanslong-agokindness to
- 64. aboy. WhenIwasinhighschool,I playedthetenorsaxophone
soloonapieceaboutNew OrleanscalledCrescentCity
Suite.IalwaysthoughtIdid abetterjobonitbecauseI
playeditwithmemoriesof myfirstsightofthecity. WhenIwastwenty-one,I
wona
- 65. RhodesscholarshipinNew Orleans.IthinkIdidwellin
theinterviewinpartbecause I feltathomethere.WhenI
wasayounglawprofessor, HillaryandIhadacoupleof great
tripstoNewOrleansfor conventions,stayingata quaintlittlehotelinthe
French
- 66. Quarter,theCornstalk.When IwasgovernorofArkansas,
weplayedintheSugarBowl there,losingtoAlabamain
oneofthelegendaryBear Bryantslastgreatvictories. At
leasthewasbornandgrew upinArkansas!WhenIran
forPresident,thepeopleof New
- 67. Orleanstwicegaveme overwhelmingvictory margins,assuring
Louisianaselectoral votesforourside. NowIhaveseenmostofthe
worldsgreatcities,butNew Orleanswillalwaysbe specialforcoffeeand
beignetsattheMorningCall ontheMississippi;forthe
- 68. musicof AaronandCharmaine Neville,theoldguysat
PreservationHall,andthe memoryofAl Hirt;forjoggingthroughthe
FrenchQuarterintheearly morning;foramazingmeals ata
hostofterrificrestaurants withJohnBreaux,Sheriff
- 69. HarryLee,andmyother pals;and mostofall,forthosefirst
memoriesofmymother. Theyarethemagnetsthat keep pullingmedownthe
MississippitoNewOrleans. WhileMotherwasinNew
Orleans,Iwasinthecareof mygrandparents.Theywere
- 70. incrediblyconscientious aboutme.Theylovedme
verymuch;sadly,much betterthan theywereabletoloveeach otheror,inmy
grandmotherscase,tolove mymother.Of course,Iwasblissfully
unawareofallthisatthe time.IjustknewthatIwas loved.Later,
- 71. whenIbecameinterestedin childrengrowingupinhard
circumstancesandlearned somethingofchild developmentfromHillarys
workattheYaleChildStudy Center,I cametorealizehowfortunate
Ihadbeen.Foralltheirown demons,mygrandparents and
- 72. mymotheralwaysmademe feelIwasthemostimportant
personintheworldtothem. Mostchildrenwillmakeitif
theyhavejustoneperson whomakesthemfeelthat way.I hadthree.
Mygrandmother,Edith GrishamCassidy,stoodjust
overfivefeettalland
- 73. weighed about180pounds.Mammaw wasbright,intense,and
aggressive,andhad obviouslybeen prettyonce.Shehadagreat
laugh,butshealsowasfull ofangeranddisappointment and
obsessionssheonlydimly understood.Shetookitall
- 74. outinragingtiradesagainst my grandfatherandmymother,
bothbeforeandafterIwas born,thoughIwasshielded from
mostofthem.Shehadbeena goodstudentandambitious,
soafterhighschoolshetook a correspondencecoursein
- 75. nursingfromtheChicago SchoolofNursing.Bythe timeIwas
atoddlershewasaprivate- dutynurseforamannotfar fromourhouseonHervey
Street. Icanstillrememberrunning downthesidewalktomeet
herwhenshecamehome from
- 76. work. Mammawsmaingoalsfor mewerethatIwouldeata
lot,learnalot,andalwaysbe neatandclean.Weateinthe
kitchenatatablenexttothe window.Myhighchairfaced
thewindow,andMammaw tackedplayingcardsupon
thewoodenwindowframeat
- 77. mealtimessothatIcould learntocount.Shealso
stuffedmeateverymeal, because conventionalwisdomatthe
timewasthatafatbabywas ahealthyone,aslongashe
bathedeveryday.Atleast onceaday,shereadtome fromDickandJanebooks
untilI
- 78. couldreadthemmyself,and fromWorldBook Encyclopediavolumes,
whichinthose daysweresolddoor-to-door bysalesmenandwereoften
theonlybooksbesidesthe Bible inworkingpeopleshouses.
Theseearlyinstructions probablyexplainwhyInow reada
- 79. lot,lovecardgames,battle myweight,andneverforget
towashmyhandsandbrush my teeth. Iadoredmygrandfather,the
firstmaleinfluenceinmy life,andfeltpridethatIwas
bornonhisbirthday.James EldridgeCassidywasaslight
man,aboutfiveeight,butin
- 80. thoseyearsstillstrongand handsome.Ialwaysthought
heresembledtheactor Randolph Scott. Whenmygrandparents
movedfromBodcaw,which hadapopulationofabouta
hundred,tothemetropolis Hope,Papawworkedforan
icehousedeliveringiceona
- 81. horse-drawnwagon.Inthose days,refrigeratorsreally
wereiceboxes,cooledby chunks oficewhosesizevaried
accordingtothesizeofthe appliance.Thoughhe weighedabout
150pounds,mygrandfather carriediceblocksthat weigheduptoahundred
poundsor
- 82. more,usingapairofhooks toslidethemontohisback,
whichwasprotectedbya large leatherflap. Mygrandfatherwasan
incrediblykindandgenerous man.DuringtheDepression,
whennobodyhadanymoney, hewouldinviteboystoride
theicetruckwithhimjustto
- 83. getthemoffthestreet.They earnedtwenty-fivecentsa
day.In1976,whenIwasin Hope runningforattorneygeneral,
Ihadatalkwithoneofthose boys,JudgeJohnWilson.He grewuptobea
distinguished,successful lawyer,buthestillhadvivid
memoriesofthose
- 84. days.Hetoldmethatatthe endofoneday,whenmy
grandfathergavehimhis quarter, heaskedifhecouldhavetwo
dimesandanickelsothathe couldfeelhehadmore money.Hegotthemand
walkedhome,jinglingthe changeinhispockets.Buthe jingled
- 85. toohard,andoneofthe dimesfellout.Helookedfor
thatdimeforhourstono avail. Fortyyearslater,hetoldme
hestillneverwalkedbythat stretchofsidewalkwithout
tryingtospotthatdime. Itshardtoconveytoyoung
peopletodaytheimpactthe Depressionhadonmy
- 86. parentsandgrandparents generation,butIgrewup
feelingit.Oneofthemost memorablestoriesofmy childhoodwasmymothers
taleofaDepressionGood Friday whenmygrandfathercame
homefromworkandbroke downandcriedashetoldher he
- 87. justcouldntaffordthedollar orsoitwouldcosttobuyher
anewEasterdress.Shenever forgotit,andeveryyearof
mychildhoodIhadanew EasteroutfitwhetherI wanteditor
not.IrememberoneEasterin the1950s,whenIwasfatand
self-conscious.Iwentto churchinalight-colored
- 88. short-sleevedshirt,white linenpants,pinkandblack Hush
Puppies,andamatchingpink suedebelt.Ithurt,butmy
motherhadbeenfaithfulto her fathersEasterritual.
WhenIwaslivingwithhim, mygrandfatherhadtwojobs
thatIreallyloved:herana
- 89. littlegrocerystore,andhe supplementedhisincomeby
workingasanightwatchman ata sawmill.Ilovedspendingthe
nightwithPapawatthe sawmill.Wewouldtakea paper bagwithsandwichesfor
supper,andIwouldsleepin thebackseatofthecar.And on
- 90. clearstarlitnights,Iwould climbinthesawdustpiles,
takinginthemagicalsmells of fresh-cuttimberandsawdust.
Mygrandfatherloved workingthere,too.Itgothim outof
thehouseandremindedhim ofthemillworkheddoneas
ayoungmanaroundthetime
- 91. ofmymothersbirth.Except forthetimePapawclosedthe
cardooronmyfingersinthe dark,thosenightswere perfectadventures.
Thegrocerystorewasa differentsortofadventure.
First,therewasahugejarof Jacksonscookiesonthe
counter,whichIraidedwith gusto.Second,grown-upsI
- 92. didnt knowcameintobuy groceries,forthefirsttime
exposingmetoadultswho werent relatives.Third,alotofmy
grandfatherscustomerswere black.ThoughtheSouthwas
completelysegregatedback then,somelevelofracial
interactionwasinevitablein
- 93. small towns,justasithadalways beenintheruralSouth.
However,itwasraretofind an uneducatedruralsoutherner
withoutaracistboneinhis body.Thatsexactlywhatmy
grandfatherwas.Icouldsee thatblackpeoplelooked
different,butbecausehe
- 94. treated themlikehedideverybody else,askingaftertheir
childrenandabouttheir work,I thoughttheywerejustlike
me.Occasionally,blackkids wouldcomeintothestore and
wewouldplay.Ittookme yearstolearnabout
- 95. segregationandprejudice andthemeaning
ofpoverty,yearstolearnthat mostwhitepeoplewerent
likemygrandfatherand grandmother,whoseviewson racewereamongthefew
thingsshehadincommon with herhusband.Infact,Mother
toldmeoneoftheworst
- 96. whippingssheevergotwas when, atagethreeorfour,she
calledablackwoman Nigger.Toputitmildly, Mammaws
whippingherwasanunusual reactionforapoorsouthern
whitewomaninthe1920s. Mymotheroncetoldmethat
afterPapawdied,shefound
- 97. someofhisoldaccount booksfromthegrocerystore
withlotsofunpaidbillsfrom hiscustomers,mostofthem
black.Sherecalledthathe hadtoldherthatgoodpeople
whoweredoingthebestthey coulddeservedtobeableto
feedtheirfamilies,andno matterhowstrappedhewas, he
- 98. neverdeniedthemgroceries oncredit.Maybethatswhy
Ivealwaysbelievedinfood stamps. AfterIbecamePresident,I
gotanotherfirsthandaccount ofmygrandfathersstore.In
1997,anAfrican-American woman,ErnestineCampbell,
didaninterviewforher
- 99. hometownpaperinToledo, Ohio,abouthergrandfather
buyinggroceriesfromPapaw onaccountandbringing
herwithhimtothestore.She saidthatsheremembered
playingwithme,andthatI wastheonlywhiteboyin thatneighborhoodwho
played withblackkids.Thanksto
- 100. mygrandfather,Ididnt knowIwastheonlywhite kidwho didthat.
Besidesmygrandfathers store,myneighborhood providedmyonlyother
contactwith peopleoutsidemyfamily.I experiencedalotinthose
narrowconfines.Isawa
- 101. house burndownacrossthestreet andlearnedIwasnotthe
onlypersonbadthings happenedto. Imadefriendswithaboy
whocollectedstrange creatures,andonceheinvited meoverto
seehissnake.Hesaiditwas inthecloset.Thenheopened
- 102. theclosetdoor,shovedme intothedarkness,slammed
thedoorshut,andtoldmeI wasinthedarkalonewith the snake.Iwasnt,thank
goodness,butIwassure scaredtodeath.Ilearnedthat whatseems
funnytothestrongcanbe cruelandhumiliatingtothe
- 103. weak. Ourhousewasjustablock awayfromarailroad
underpass,whichthenwas madeof roughtar-coatedtimbers.I
likedtoclimbonthetimbers, listentothetrainsrattle
overhead,andwonderwhere theyweregoingandwhether
Iwouldevergothere.
- 104. AndIusedtoplayinthe backyardwithaboywhose
yardadjoinedmine.Helived with twobeautifulsistersina
bigger,nicerhousethanours. Weusedtositonthegrass for
hours,throwinghisknifein thegroundandlearningto
makeitstick.Hisnamewas Vince
- 105. Foster.Hewaskindtome andneverlordeditoverme
thewaysomanyolderboys did withyoungerones.Hegrew
uptobeatall,handsome, wise,goodman.Hebecamea greatlawyer,astrong
supporterearlyinmycareer, andHillarysbestfriendat theRose
- 106. LawFirm.Ourfamilies socializedinLittleRock,
mostlyathishouse,where hiswife, Lisa,taughtChelseatoswim.
HecametotheWhiteHouse withus,andwasavoiceof calmandreasoninthose
crazyearlymonths. Therewasoneotherperson outsidethefamilywho
- 107. influencedmeinmyearly childhood.Odessawasa
blackwomanwhocameto ourhousetoclean,cook,and watch
mewhenmygrandparents wereatwork.Shehadbig buckteeth,whichmadeher
smile onlybrighterandmore beautifultome.Ikeptup
- 108. withherforyearsafterIleft Hope.In 1966,afriendandIwentout
toseeOdessaaftervisiting myfathersandgrandfathers
graves.Mostoftheblack peopleinHopelivednearthe
cemetery,acrosstheroad from wheremygrandfathersstore
hadbeen.Irememberour
- 109. visitingonherporchfora good longwhile.Whenthetime
cametogo,wegotinmycar anddroveawayondirt streets.
TheonlyunpavedstreetsI sawinHope,orlaterinHot
SpringswhenImovedthere, were inblackneighborhoods,full
- 110. ofpeoplewhoworkedhard, manyofthemraisingkids like
me,andwhopaidtaxes. Odessadeservedbetter. Theotherlargefiguresinmy
childhoodwererelatives:my maternalgreat- grandparents,mygreat-aunt
Otieandgreat-uncleCarl Russell,andmostofall,my
- 111. great- uncleOrenknownas Buddy,andoneofthelights
ofmylifeandhiswife, AuntOllie. MyGrishamgreat-
grandparentslivedoutinthe countryinalittlewooden housebuilt
upofftheground.Because Arkansasgetsmore
- 112. tornadoesthanalmostany otherplacein theUnitedStates,most
peoplewholivedinvirtual stickhousesliketheirsduga holein
thegroundforastormcellar. Theirswasoutinthefront
yard,andhadalittlebedand a smalltablewithacoal-oil
- 113. lanternonit.Istillremember peeringintothatlittlespace and
hearingmygreat-grandfather say,Yes,sometimessnakes
godowntheretoo,butthey wontbiteyouifthe lanternslit.Ineverfound
outwhetherthatwastrueor not.My onlyothermemoryofmy
- 114. great-grandfatheristhathe cametovisitmeinthe hospital
whenIbrokemylegatage five.Heheldmyhandandwe posedforapicture.Hesina
simpleblackjacketanda whiteshirtbuttonedallthe
wayup,lookingoldasthe hills, straightoutofAmerican
- 115. Gothic. Mygrandmotherssister OpalwecalledherOtie
wasafine-lookingwoman with thegreatGrishamfamily
laugh,whosequiethusband, Carl,wasthefirstpersonI knew
whogrewwatermelons.The river-enriched,sandysoil
- 116. aroundHopeisidealfor them,and thesizeofHopesmelons
becamethetrademarkofthe townintheearlyfiftieswhen the
communitysentthelargest melonevergrownuptothat
time,justundertwohundred pounds,toPresidentTruman.
Thebetter-tastingmelons,
- 117. however,weighsixtypounds or less.ThosearetheonesIsaw
mygreat-uncleCarlgrow, pouringwaterfroma washtub
intothesoilaroundthe melonsandwatchingthe stalkssuckituplikea
vacuumcleaner. WhenIbecamePresident,
- 118. UncleCarlscousinCarter Russellstillhada watermelon
standinHopewhereyou couldgetgoodredorthe sweeteryellowmelons.
Hillarysaysthefirsttimeshe eversawme,Iwasinthe YaleLawSchoollounge
braggingtoskepticalfellow studentsaboutthesizeof
- 119. Hopewatermelons.WhenI was President,myoldfriends
fromHopeputona watermelonfeedonthe SouthLawnofthe
WhiteHouse,andIgottotell mywatermelonstoriestoa
newgenerationofyoung peoplewhopretendedtobe
interestedinasubjectI
- 120. begantolearnaboutsolong ago fromAuntOtieandUncle Carl.
Mygrandmothersbrother UncleBuddyandhiswife, Ollie,weretheprimary
membersofmyextended family.BuddyandOlliehad
fourchildren,threeofwhom were
- 121. gonefromHopebythetimeI camealong.Dwaynewasan
executivewithashoe manufacturerinNew Hampshire.ConradandFalba
werelivinginDallas,though they bothcamebacktoHope
oftenandlivetheretoday. Myra,theyoungest,wasa rodeo
- 122. queen.Shecouldridelikea pro,andshelaterranoffwith
acowboy,hadtwoboys, divorced,andmovedhome, wheresheranthelocal
housingauthority.Myraand Falba aregreatwomenwholaugh
throughtheirtearsandnever quitonfamilyandfriends. Im
- 123. gladtheyarestillpartofmy life.Ispentalotoftimeat
BuddyandOllieshouse,not just inmyfirstsixyearsinHope,
butforfortymoreyearsuntil OlliediedandBuddysoldthe
houseandmovedinwith Falba. Sociallifeinmyextended
family,likethatofmost
- 124. peopleofmodestmeanswho grew upinthecountry,revolved
aroundmeals,conversation, andstorytelling.They couldnt
affordvacations,rarelyif everwenttothemovies,and
didnthavetelevisionuntil the mid-tolate1950s.They
- 125. wentoutafewtimesayear tothecountyfair,the watermelon
festival,theoccasional squaredanceorgospel singing.Themenhuntedand
fishedand raisedvegetablesand watermelononsmallplots
outinthecountrythattheyd keptwhen
- 126. theymovedtotowntowork. Thoughtheyneverhadextra
money,theyneverfeltpoor aslongastheyhadaneat house,cleanclothes,and
enoughfoodtofeedanyone whocameinthefrontdoor. They
workedtolive,nottheother wayaround.
- 127. Myfavoritechildhoodmeals wereatBuddyandOllies,
eatingaroundabigtablein theirsmallkitchen.Atypical
weekendlunch,whichwe calleddinner(theevening meal
wassupper),includedhamor aroast,cornbread,spinach
orcollardgreens,mashed potatoes,sweetpotatoes,
- 128. peas,greenbeansorlima beans,fruitpie,andendless quantities
oficedteawedrankinlarge goblet-likeglasses.Ifelt
moregrownupdrinkingout of thosebigglasses.Onspecial
dayswehadhomemadeice creamtogowiththepie. When
- 129. Iwasthereearlyenough,I gottohelppreparethemeal,
shellingthebeansorturning the crankontheice-cream
maker.Before,during,and afterdinnertherewas constanttalk:
towngossip,familygoings- on,andstories,lotsofthem.
Allmykinfolkscouldtella
- 130. story,makingsimpleevents, encounters,andmishaps
involvingordinarypeople come alivewithdramaand laughter.
Buddywasthebest storyteller.Likebothofhis sisters,hewasverybright.I
often wonderedwhatheandthey
- 131. wouldhavemadeoftheir livesiftheyhadbeenborn intomy
generationormydaughters. Buttherewerelotsofpeople
likethembackthen.Theguy pumpingyourgasmighthave
hadanIQashighastheguy takingyourtonsilsout.There
arestillpeoplelikethe GrishamsinAmerica,many
- 132. ofthemnewimmigrants, whichis whyItriedasPresidentto
openthedoorsofcollegeto allcomers. Thoughhehadaverylimited
education,Buddyhadafine mindandaPh.D.inhuman
nature,bornofalifetimeof keenobservationanddealing
withhisowndemonsand
- 133. those ofhisfamily.Earlyinhis marriagehehadadrinking
problem.Onedayhecame home andtoldhiswifeheknewhis
drinkingwashurtingherand theirfamilyandhewasnever
goingtodrinkagain.Andhe neverdid,formorethanfifty years.
- 134. Wellintohiseighties,Buddy couldtellamazingstories
highlightingthepersonalities ofdogshedhadfiveorsix
decadesearlier.He rememberedtheirnames, theirlooks,
theirpeculiarhabits,howhe camebythem,theprecise
waytheyretrievedshotbirds. Lotsofpeoplewouldcome
- 135. byhishouseandsitonthe porchforavisit.Afterthey left
hedhaveastoryaboutthem ortheirkidssometimes funny,sometimessad,
usually sympathetic,always understanding. Ilearnedalotfromthe
storiesmyuncle,aunts,and
- 136. grandparentstoldme:thatno one isperfectbutmostpeopleare
good;thatpeoplecantbe judgedonlybytheirworstor
weakestmoments;thatharsh judgmentscanmake
hypocritesofusall;thatalot oflifeis justshowingupandhanging
on;thatlaughterisoftenthe
- 137. best,andsometimestheonly, responsetopain.Perhaps
mostimportant,Ilearned thateveryonehasastoryof dreams
andnightmares,hopeand heartache,loveandloss,
courageandfear,sacrifice and selfishness.AllmylifeIve
beeninterestedinother
- 138. peoplesstories.Ivewanted toknow them,understandthem,feel
them.WhenIgrewupand gotintopolitics,Ialwaysfelt the
mainpointofmyworkwas togivepeopleachanceto havebetterstories.
UncleBuddysstorywas gooduntiltheend.Hegot
- 139. lungcancerin1974,hada lung removed,andstilllivedtobe
ninety-one.Hecounseledme inmypoliticalcareer,andif
Idfollowedhisadviceand repealedanunpopularcar-tag
increase,Iprobablywouldnt havelostmyfirst gubernatorialreelection
campaignin1980.Helived
- 140. toseemeelected Presidentandgotabigkick
outofit.AfterOlliedied,he keptactivebygoingdownto
hisdaughterFalbasdonut shopandregalingawhole
newgenerationofkidswith his storiesandwitty observationsonthehuman
condition.Heneverlosthis
- 141. senseofhumor. Hewasstilldrivingat eighty-seven,whenhetook
twoladyfriends,aged ninety-oneand ninety-three,fordrives
separatelyonceaweek. Whenhetoldmeabouthis dates,I
asked,Soyoulikethese olderwomennow?He
- 142. snickeredandsaid,Yeah,I do.Seems liketheyrealittlemore
settled. Inallouryearstogether,I sawmyunclecryonlyonce.
OlliedevelopedAlzheimers andhadtobemovedtoa nursinghome.Forseveral
weeksafterward,sheknew whoshe
- 143. wasforafewminutesaday. Duringthoselucidintervals,
shewouldcallBuddyand say, Oren,howcouldyouleave
meinthisplaceafterfifty- sixyearsofmarriage?Come get
merightnow.Hewould dutifullydriveovertosee her,butbythetimehegot
there,she
- 144. wouldbelostagaininthe mistsofthediseaseand didntknowhim.
Itwasduringthisperiodthat Istoppedbytoseehimlate
oneafternoon,ourlastvisit at theoldhouse.Iwashoping
tocheerhimup.Instead,he mademelaughwithbawdy jokes
- 145. anddrollcommentson currentevents.When
darknessfell,ItoldhimIhad togoback hometoLittleRock.He
followedmetothedoor,and asIwasabouttowalkout,he
grabbedmyarm.Iturnedand sawtearsinhiseyesforthe
firstandonlytimeinalmost fiftyyearsofloveand
- 146. friendship.Isaid,Thisis reallyhard,isntit?Ill
neverforgethis reply.Hesmiledandsaid, Yeah,itis,butIsignedon
forthewholeload,andmost ofit wasprettygood.Myuncle
Buddytaughtmethat everyonehasastory.Hetold hisin
- 147. thatonesentence. THREE AftertheyearinNew
Orleans,Mothercamehome toHopeeagertoputher anesthesia
trainingintopractice,elated atbeingreunitedwithme,
andbacktoheroldfun- loving
- 148. self.Shehaddatedseveral meninNewOrleansandhad
afinetime,accordingtoher memoir,LeadingwithMy
Heart,whichImsurewould havebeenabestsellerifshe had
livedtopromoteit. However,before,during,and afterhersojourninNew
Orleans,Motherwasdating
- 149. one manmorethananyoneelse, theownerofthelocalBuick
dealership,RogerClinton. She wasabeautiful,high-spirited
widow.Hewasahandsome, hell-raising,twice-divorced
manfromHotSprings, ArkansasSinCity,which
forseveralyearshadbeen
- 150. hometo thelargestillegalgambling operationintheUnited
States.Rogersbrother Raymond ownedtheBuickdealership
inHotSprings,andRoger, thebabyandbadboyofa familyoffive,hadcometo
Hopetotakeadvantageofthe waractivityaroundthe
- 151. SouthwesternProving Groundandperhapstoget
outofhisbrothersshadow. Rogerlovedtodrinkand partywithhistwobest
buddiesfromHotSprings, Van HamptonLyell,whoowned
theCoca-Colabottlingplant acrossthestreetfromClinton
Buick,andGabeCrawford,
- 152. whoownedseveral drugstoresinHotSpringsand onein
Hope,laterbuiltHotSprings firstshoppingcenter,and
wasthenmarriedtoRogers gorgeousniece,Virginia,a
womanIvealwaysloved, whowastheveryfirstMiss Hot
Springs.Theirideaofagood
- 153. timewastogamble,get drunk,anddocrazy,reckless
thingsincarsorairplanesor onmotorcycles.Itsawonder
theydidntalldieyoung. MotherlikedRogerbecause
hewasfun,paidattentionto me,andwasgenerous.He
paidforhertocomehometo seemeseveraltimeswhen
shewasinNewOrleans,and
- 154. he probablypaidforthetrain tripsMammawandItookto
seeMother. PapawlikedRogerbecause hewasnicebothtomeandto
him.Forawhileaftermy grandfatherquittheicehouse
becauseofseverebronchial problems,heranaliquor store.
- 155. Neartheendofthewar, HempsteadCounty,ofwhich
Hopeisthecountyseat, votedto godry.Thatswhenmy grandfatheropenedhis
grocerystore.Ilaterlearned that Papawsoldliquorunderthe
countertothedoctors, lawyers,andother respectablepeople
- 156. whodidntwanttodrivethe thirty-threemilestothe
nearestlegalliquorstorein Texarkana,andthatRoger washissupplier.
Mammawreallydisliked Rogerbecauseshethoughthe wasnotthekindofmanher
daughterandgrandson shouldbetiedto.Shehada
darksideherhusbandand
- 157. daughter lacked,butitenabledherto seethedarknessinothers
thattheymissed.Shethought RogerClintonwasnothing
buttrouble.Shewasright aboutthetroublepart,butnot the
nothingbut.Therewas moretohimthanthat,which
makeshisstoryevensadder.
- 158. Asforme,allIknewwas thathewasgoodtomeand
hadabigbrownandblack Germanshepherd,Susie,that
hebroughttoplaywithme. Susiewasabigpartofmy childhood,andstartedmy
lifelongloveaffairwith dogs. MotherandRogergot
marriedinHotSprings,in
- 159. June1950,shortlyafterher twenty- seventhbirthday.OnlyGabe
andVirginiaCrawfordwere there.ThenMotherandIleft
herparentshomeandmoved withmynewstepfather, whomIsoonbegantocall
Daddy, intoalittlewhitewooden houseonthesouthendof
- 160. townat321ThirteenthStreet atthe cornerofWalkerStreet.Not
longafterward,Istarted callingmyselfBillyClinton.
Mynewworldwasexciting tome.NextdoorwereNed andAliceWilliams.Mr.Ned
wasaretiredrailroadworker whobuiltaworkshopbehind
hishousefilledwithalarge
- 161. sophisticatedmodelelectric- trainsetup.Backthenevery
littlekidwantedaLionel train set.Daddygotmeoneand
weusedtoplaywithit together,butnothingcould compareto
Mr.Nedslargeintricate tracksandbeautifulfast
trains.Ispenthoursthere.It waslike
- 162. havingmyownDisneyland nextdoor. Myneighborhoodwasa
class-Aadvertisementforthe postWorldWarIIbaby boom.
Therewerelotsofyoung coupleswithkids.Acrossthe
streetlivedthemostspecial child ofall,MitziPolk,daughter
- 163. ofMinorandMargaretPolk. Mitzihadaloudroaring laugh.
Shewouldswingsohighon herswingsetthepolesofthe
framewouldcomeupoutof theground,asshebellowed
atthetopofherlungs,Billy sucksabottle!Billysucksa
bottle!Shedrovemenuts. Afterall,Iwasgettingtobe
- 164. abigboyandIdidnosuch thing. IlaterlearnedthatMitziwas
developmentallydisabled. Thetermwouldnthave meant
anythingtomethen,but whenIpushedtoexpand
opportunitiesforthedisabled as
- 165. governorandPresident,I thoughtoftenofMitziPolk.
AlothappenedtomewhileI livedonThirteenthStreet.I
startedschoolatMissMarie PurkinsSchoolforLittle
Folkskindergarten,whichI loveduntilIbrokemyleg oneday
jumpingrope.Anditwasnt evenamovingrope.Therope
- 166. intheplaygroundwastiedat oneendtoatreeandatthe
otherendtoaswingset.The kidswouldlineuponone side
andtaketurnsrunningand jumpingoverit.Alltheother
kidsclearedtherope. OneofthemwasMack McLarty,sonofthelocal
Forddealer,latergovernorof
- 167. Boys State,all-starquarterback, statelegislator,successful
businessman,andthenmy first WhiteHousechiefofstaff.
Mackalwaysclearedevery hurdle.Luckilyforme,he always
waitedformetocatchup.
- 168. Me,Ididntcleartherope.I wasalittlechunkyanyway,
andslow,soslowthatIwas oncetheonlykidatanEaster egghuntwhodidntgeta
singleegg,notbecauseI couldntfindthembut becauseIcouldntgetto
themfastenough.Ontheday Itriedto jumpropeIwaswearing
- 169. cowboybootstoschool.Like afool,Ididnttaketheboots off
tojump.Myheelcaughton therope,Iturned,fell,and
heardmylegsnap.Ilayin agony onthegroundforseveral
minuteswhileDaddyraced overfromtheBuickplaceto get
- 170. me. Ihadbrokenmylegabove theknee,andbecauseIwas
growingsofast,thedoctor was reluctanttoputmeinacast
uptomyhip.Instead,he madeaholethroughmy ankle,
pushedastainlesssteelbar throughit,attachedittoa
- 171. stainlesssteelhorseshoe,and hung mylegupintheairovermy
hospitalbed.Ilaylikethat fortwomonths,flatonmy back,
feelingbothfoolishand pleasedtobeoutofschool andreceivingsomany
visitors.Itook alongtimegettingoverthat
- 172. legbreak.AfterIgotoutof thehospital,myfolksbought me
abicycle,butIneverlostmy fearofridingwithoutthe
trainingwheels.Asaresult,I neverstoppedfeelingthatI
wasclumsyandwithouta normalsenseofbalance until,at
theageoftwenty-two,I
- 173. finallystartedridingabikeat Oxford.EventhenIfella few
times,butIthoughtofitas buildingmypainthreshold.
IwasgratefultoDaddyfor comingtorescuemewhenI brokemyleg.Healsocame
homefromworkatimeor twototrytotalkMotherout
ofspankingmewhenIdid
- 174. somethingwrong.Atthe beginningoftheirmarriage
hereallytriedtobetherefor me.I rememberonceheeventook
meonthetraintoSt.Louis toseetheCardinals,thenour
nearestmajorleaguebaseball team.Westayedovernight
andcamehomethenextday. I
- 175. lovedit.Sadly,itwasthe onlytripthetwoofusever
tooktogether.Liketheonly time weeverwentfishing
together.Theonlytimewe everwentoutintothewoods tocutour
ownChristmastreetogether. Theonlytimeourwhole
familytookanout-of-state
- 176. vacationtogether.Therewere somanythingsthatmeanta
lottomebutwereneverto occuragain.RogerClinton
reallylovedmeandheloved Mother,buthecouldntever quitebreakfreeofthe
shadowsofself-doubt,the phonysecurityofbinge drinkingand
adolescentpartying,andthe
- 177. isolationfromandverbal abuseofMotherthatkept him
frombecomingthemanhe mighthavebeen. Onenighthisdrunkenself-
destructivenesscametoa headinafightwithmy motherI
canteverforget.Mother wantedustogotothe
- 178. hospitaltoseemygreat- grandmother, whodidnthavelongtolive.
Daddysaidshecouldntgo. Theywerescreamingateach
otherintheirbedroominthe backofthehouse.Forsome
reason,Iwalkedoutintothe halltothedoorwayofthe
bedroom.JustasIdid,Daddy pulledagunfrombehindhis
- 179. backandfiredinMothers direction.Thebulletwent
intothewallbetweenwhere she andIwerestanding.Iwas
stunnedandsoscared.Ihad neverheardashotfired before,
muchlessseenone.Mother grabbedmeandranacross
thestreettotheneighbors. The
- 180. policewerecalled.Icanstill seethemleadingDaddyaway
inhandcuffstojail,wherehe spentthenight. ImsureDaddydidntmean
tohurtherandhewouldhave diedifthebullethad
accidentallyhiteitherofus. Butsomethingmore
poisonousthanalcoholdrove himto
- 181. thatlevelofdebasement.It wouldbealongtimebeforeI
couldunderstandsuchforces in othersorinmyself.When
Daddygotoutofjailhehad soberedupinmorewaysthan one
andwassoashamedthat nothingbadhappenedfor sometime.
- 182. Ihadonemoreyearoflife andschoolinginHope.I
wenttofirstgradeat Brookwood School;myteacherwasMiss
MaryWilson.Althoughshe hadonlyonearm,shedidnt
believeinsparingtherod,or, inhercase,thepaddle,into
whichshehadboredholesto cutdownonthewind
- 183. resistance.Onmorethanone occasionIwastherecipient ofher
concern. Inadditiontomyneighbors andMackMcLarty,Ibecame
friendswithsomeotherkids whostayedwithmefora lifetime.Oneofthem,Joe
Purvis,hadachildhoodthat made
- 184. minelookidyllic.Hegrew uptobeafinelawyer,and
whenIwaselectedattorney general,IhiredJoeonmy
staff.WhenArkansashadan importantcasebeforethe U.S.
SupremeCourt,Iwent,butI letJoemaketheargument. JusticeByronWhizzer
White
- 185. sentmeanotefromthe benchsayingthatJoehad
doneagoodjob.Later,Joe becamethe firstchairmanofmy
BirthplaceFoundation. Besidesmyfriendsand family,mylifeonThirteenth
Streetwasmarkedbymy discoveryofthemovies.In
1951and1952,Icouldgofor
- 186. adime:anickeltogetin,a nickelforaCoke.Iwent
everycoupleofweeksorso. Backthen,yougotafeature film,
acartoon,aserial,anda newsreel.TheKoreanWar wason,soIlearnedabout
that.Flash GordonandRocketMan werethebigserialheroes.
- 187. Forcartoons,Ipreferred BugsBunny, CaspertheFriendlyGhost,
andBabyHuey,withwhomI probablyidentified.Isawa lot
ofmovies,andespecially likedthewesterns.My favoritewasHighNoonI
probably sawithalfadozentimes
- 188. duringitsruninHope,and haveseenitmorethana dozentimes
since.Itsstillmyfavorite movie,becauseitsnotyour
typicalmachowestern.I loved themoviebecausefromstart
tofinishGaryCooperis scaredtodeathbutdoesthe right
- 189. thinganyway. WhenIwaselected President,Itoldan
interviewerthatmyfavorite moviewasHigh Noon.Atthetime,Fred
Zinnemann,itsdirector,was nearlyninety,livingin London.I
gotagreatletterfromhim withacopyofhisannotated
- 190. scriptandanautographed picture ofhimselfwithCooperand
GraceKellyinstreetclothes ontheHighNoonsetin1951.
OverthelongyearssinceI firstsawHighNoon,whenI facedmyownshowdowns,I
oftenthoughtofthelookin GaryCooperseyesashe
staresintothefaceofalmost
- 191. certaindefeat,andhowhe keepswalkingthroughhis
fearstowardhisduty.It works prettywellinreallifetoo. FOUR
Inthesummeraftermyfirst- gradeyear,Daddydecidedhe
wantedtogohometoHot Springs.HesoldtheBuick
- 192. dealershipandmovedustoa fourhundredacrefarmout on
WildcatRoadafewmiles westofthecity.Ithadcattle,
sheep,andgoats.Whatit didnt havewasanindoortoilet.So
fortheyearorsowelived outthere,onthehottest summer
- 193. daysandthecoldestwinter nights,wehadtogooutside
tothewoodenouthouseto relieveourselves.Itwasan
interestingexperience, especiallywhenthe nonpoisonous
kingsnakethathungaround ouryardwaspeeringup throughtheholeatmewhen
Ihad
- 194. togo.Later,whenIgotinto politics,beingabletosayI
hadlivedonafarmwithan outhousemadeagreatstory,
almostasgoodasbeingborn inalogcabin. Ilikedlivingonthefarm,
feedingtheanimals,and movingamongthem,until one
fatefulSunday.Daddyhad
- 195. severalmembersofhis familyouttolunch, includinghis
brotherRaymondandhis children.Itookoneof Raymondsdaughters,Karla,
outinto thefieldwherethesheep weregrazing.Iknewthere
wasonemeanramwehadto avoid,
- 196. butwedecidedtotemptfate, abigmistake.Whenwewere
aboutahundredyardsaway fromthefence,theramsaw
usandstartedtocharge.We startedrunningforthefence.
Karlawasbiggerandfaster andmadeit.Istumbledover abigrock.WhenIfellI
could seeIwasntgoingtomake
- 197. thefencebeforetheramgot tome,soIretreatedtoa small
treeafewfeetawayinthe hopeIcouldkeepawayfrom himbyrunningaroundthe
tree untilhelpcame.Anotherbig mistake.Soonhecaughtme
andknockedmylegsout from
- 198. underme.BeforeIcouldget uphebuttedmeinthehead.
ThenIwasstunnedandhurt andcouldntgetup.Sohe backedup,gotagoodhead
start,andrammedmeagain as hardashecould.Hedidthe
samethingoverandoverand overagain,alternatinghis
targetsbetweenmyheadand
- 199. mygut.SoonIwaspouring bloodandhurtinglikethe
devil.Afterwhatseemedan eternitymyuncleshowedup,
pickedupabigrock,and threwithard,hittingtheram
squarebetweentheeyes.The ramjustshookhisheadand
walkedoff,apparently unfazed.Irecovered,left withonlyascaronmy
- 200. forehead,which graduallygrewintomyscalp.
AndIlearnedthatIcould takeahardhit,alessonthatI
wouldrelearnacouplemore timesinmychildhoodand laterinlife.
Afewmonthsafterwe movedtothefarm,bothmy folksweregoingtotownto
work.
- 201. Daddygaveuponbeinga farmerandtookajobasa
partsmanagerforUncle Raymonds Buickdealership,while Motherfoundmore
anesthesiaworkinHot Springsthanshe couldhandle.Oneday,onthe
waytowork,shepickedupa womanwhowaswalkingto
- 202. town.Aftertheygot acquainted,Motheraskedher
ifsheknewanyonewho wouldcome tothehouseandlookafter
mewhilesheandDaddy wereatwork.Inoneofthe great
momentsofgoodluckinmy life,shesuggestedherself.
HernamewasCoraWalters; she
- 203. wasagrandmotherwith everygoodqualityofanold-
fashionedcountrywoman. Shewas wise,kind,upright,
conscientious,anddeeply Christian.Shebecamea memberofour
familyforelevenyears.All herfamilyweregoodpeople,
andaftersheleftus,her
- 204. daughterMayeHightower cametoworkforMotherand
stayedthirtymoreyearsuntil Motherdied.Inanotherage,
CoraWalterswouldhave madeafineminister.She made
meabetterpersonbyher example,andcertainly wasntresponsibleforanyof
mysins,
- 205. thenorlater.Shewasatough oldgal,too.Onedayshe
helpedmekillahugeratthat was hangingaroundourhouse.
Actually,Ifounditandshe killeditwhileIcheered. Whenwemovedouttothe
country,Motherwas concernedaboutmygoingto asmall
- 206. ruralschool,sosheenrolled meinSt.JohnsCatholic
Schooldowntown,whereI attendedsecondandthird
grade.Bothyearsmyteacher wasSisterMaryAmata McGee,a
fineandcaringteacherbutno pushover.Ioftengotstraight
Asonmysix-weekreport cardandaCincitizenship,
- 207. whichwasaeuphemismfor goodbehaviorinclass.I lovedto
readandcompeteinspelling contests,butItalkedtoo much.Itwasaconstant
problemin gradeschool,andasmy criticsandmanyofmy
friendswouldsay,itsoneI neverquite
- 208. gotover.Ialsogotintrouble onceforexcusingmyselfto
gotothebathroomand staying awaytoolongduringthe
dailyrosary.Iwasfascinated bytheCatholicChurch,its rituals
andthedevotionofthenuns, butgettingonmykneeson theseatofmydeskand
leaning
- 209. onthebackwiththerosary beadswasoftentoomuchfor
arambunctiousboywhose only churchexperiencebefore
thenhadbeenintheSunday schoolandthesummer vacation
BibleschooloftheFirst BaptistChurchinHope. Afterayearorsoonthe
- 210. farm,Daddydecidedtomove intoHotSprings.Herenteda
bighousefromUncle Raymondat1011Park Avenue,intheeastendof
town.Heled Mothertobelievehedmade agooddealforitandhad
boughtthehousewithhis income andhers,butevenwiththeir
- 211. twoincomes,andwith housingcostsaconsiderably smaller
partoftheaveragefamilys expensesthannow,Icant seehowwecouldhave
afforded it.Thehousewasupona hill;ithadtwostories,five
bedrooms,andafascinating little
- 212. ballroomupstairswithabar onwhichstoodabigrotating
cagewithtwohugediceinit. Apparentlythefirstowner
hadbeeninthegambling business.Ispentmanyhappy hours
inthatroom,havingparties orjustplayingwithmy friends.
Theexteriorofthehousewas
- 213. whitewithgreentrim,with slopingroofsoverthefront
entranceandthetwosides. Thefrontyardwasterraced onthreelevelswitha
sidewalk downthemiddleandarock wallbetweenthemiddleand
groundlevels.Thesideyards weresmall,butlargeenough
forMothertoindulgeher
- 214. favoriteoutdoorhobby, gardening.Sheespecially
lovedtogrowrosesanddid soinallherhomesuntilshe died.
Mothertannedeasilyand deeply,andshegotmostof hertanwhilediggingdirt
around herflowersinatanktopand shorts.Thebackhadagravel
- 215. drivewaywithafour-car garage,anicelawnwitha
swingset,and,onbothsides ofthedriveway,sloping lawns
thatwentdowntothestreet, CircleDrive. Welivedinthathousefrom
thetimeIwassevenoreight untilIwasfifteen.Itwas
- 216. fascinatingtome.The groundswerefullofshrubs,
bushes,flowers,longhedges laced withhoneysuckle,andlotsof
trees,includingafig,apear, twocrabapples,andahuge oldoakinthefront.
IhelpedDaddytakecareof thegrounds.Itwasonething
wediddotogether,though
- 217. asIgotolder,Ididmoreand moreofitmyself.Thehouse
wasnearawoodedarea,soI wasalwaysrunningacross spiders,tarantulas,
centipedes,scorpions,wasps, hornets, bees,andsnakes,alongwith
morebenigncreatureslike squirrels,chipmunks,blue jays,
- 218. robins,andwoodpeckers. Once,whenIwasmowing
thelawn,Ilookeddownto seea rattlesnakeslidingalongwith
thelawnmower,apparently captivatedbythevibrations. I
didntlikethevibes,soIran likecrazyandescaped unscathed.
- 219. AnothertimeIwasntso lucky.Daddyhadputupa
hugethree-storybirdhouse for martins,whichnestin
groups,atthebottomofthe backdriveway.OnedayI was
mowinggrassdownthereand discoveredithadbecomea
nestingplacenotformartins
- 220. butforbumblebees.They swarmedme,flyingallover
mybody,myarms,myface. Amazingly,notoneofthem stungme.Iranofftocatch
mybreathandconsidermy options.Mistakenly,I assumedtheyhaddecidedI
meantthemnoharm,soafter afew minutesIwentbacktomy
- 221. mowing.Ihadntgoneten yardsbeforetheyswarmed me
again,thistimestingingme allovermybody.Onegot
caughtbetweenmybellyand my belt,stingingmeoverand
over,somethingbumblebees candothathoneybeescant.I
wasdeliriousandhadtobe
- 222. rushedtothedoctor,but recoveredsoonenoughwith another
valuablelesson:tribesof bumblebeesgiveintruders
onefairwarningbutnottwo. More thanthirty-fiveyearslater,
KateRoss,thefive-year-old daughterofmyfriends Michael
- 223. RossandMarkiePost,sent mealetterthatsaidsimply:
Beescanstingyou.Watch out. Iknewjustwhatshemeant.
MymovetoHotSprings gavemylifemanynew experiences:anew,much
largerand moresophisticatedcity;a newneighborhood;anew
- 224. school,newfriends,andmy introductiontomusic;my
firstseriousreligious experienceinanewchurch; and,of
course,anewextended familyintheClintonclan. Thehotsulfursprings,for
whichthecityisnamed, bubbleupfrombelowground ina
- 225. narrowgapintheOuachita Mountainsalittlemorethan
fiftymileswestandslightly southofLittleRock.The
firstEuropeantoseethem wasHernandodeSoto,who came
throughthevalleyin1541, sawtheIndiansbathingin
thesteamingsprings,and, legend
- 226. hasit,thoughthehad discoveredthefountainof youth.
In1832,PresidentAndrew Jacksonsignedabillto
protectfoursectionsofland around HotSpringsasafederal
reservation,thefirstsuchbill Congresseverenacted,well before
- 227. theNationalParkService wasestablishedor
Yellowstonebecameourfirst nationalpark. Soonmorehotelssprungup
tohousevisitors.Bythe 1880s,CentralAvenue,the main
street,snakingamileanda halforsothroughthegapin
themountainswherethe springs
- 228. were,wassproutingbeautiful bathhousesasmorethan
100,000peopleayearwere taking bathsforeverythingfrom
rheumatismtoparalysisto malariatovenerealdiseaseto
generalrelaxation.Inthe firstquarterofthetwentieth
century,thegrandest bathhouses
- 229. werebuilt,morethana millionbathsayearwere
taken,andthespacity becameknown aroundtheworld.Afterits
statuswaschangedfrom federalreservationto nationalpark,
HotSpringsbecametheonly cityinAmericathatwas actuallyinoneofour
national
- 230. parks. Thecitysattractionwas amplifiedbygrandhotels,an
operahouse,and,beginning in themid-nineteenthcentury,
gambling.Bythe1880s, therewereseveralopen gambling
houses,andHotSpringswas onitswaytobeingbothan
- 231. attractivespaandanotorious town.Fordecadesbeforeand
duringWorldWarII,itwas runbyabossworthyofany bigcity,MayorLeo
McLaughlin.Heranthe gamblingwiththehelpofa mobsterwho
moveddownfromNewYork, OwenVincentOwney Madden.
- 232. Afterthewar,aGIticketof reformersheadedbySid
McMathbrokeMcLaughlins powerinamovethat,soon
after,madethethirty-five- year-oldMcMaththe nations
youngestgovernor. NotwithstandingtheGI reformers,however,
gamblingcontinuedto
- 233. operate,withpayoffstostate andlocalpoliticiansandlaw-
enforcementofficials,well intothe1960s.Owney
MaddenlivedinHotSprings asarespectablecitizenfor therest
ofhislife.Motheronceput himtosleepforsurgery.She
camehomeafterwardand laughinglytoldmethat
- 234. lookingathisX-raywaslike visitingaplanetarium:the twelve
bulletsstillinhisbody remindedherofshooting stars.
Ironically,becauseitwas illegal,theMafianevertook overgamblinginHot
Springs; instead,wehadourownlocal
- 235. bosses.Sometimesthe competinginterestsfought, butin
mytime,theviolencewas alwayscontrolled.For example,thegaragesoftwo
houses werebombed,butatatime whennoonewashome.
Forthelastthreedecadesof thenineteenthcenturyand
- 236. thefirstfiveofthetwentieth, gamblingdrewanamazing
arrayofcharacterstotown: outlaws,mobsters,military
heroes,actors,andahostof baseballgreats.The legendarypoolshark
MinnesotaFats cameoften.In1977,as attorneygeneral,Ishotpool
withhimforacharityinHot
- 237. Springs.Hekilledmeinthe gamebutmadeupforitby
regalingmewithstoriesof long- agovisits,whenheplayed
thehorsesbyday,thenate andgambledupanddown Central
Avenueallnight,addingto hispocketbookandhis famouswaistline.
- 238. HotSpringsdrewpoliticians too.WilliamJenningsBryan
cameseveraltimes.Sodid TeddyRooseveltin1910,
HerbertHooverin1927,and FranklinandEleanor Roosevelt
forthestatescentennialin 1936.HueyLonghada secondhoneymoonwithhis
wife
- 239. there.JFKandLyndon Johnsonvisitedbeforethey
werePresidents.SodidHarry Truman,theonlyonewho
gambledatleasttheonly onewhodidnthideit. Thegamblingandhot-water
attractionsofHotSprings wereenhancedbylarge
brightlylitauctionhouses, whichalternatedwith
- 240. gamblingspotsand restaurantson CentralAvenueontheother
sideofthestreetfromthe bathhouses;byOaklawn
racetrack,whichofferedfine Thoroughbredracingfor
thirtydaysayearinthe spring,the onlylegalgamblinginthe
city;byslotmachinesin
- 241. manyoftherestaurants, someof whichevenkidswere
allowedtoplayiftheywere sittingontheirparentslaps; andby
threelakesnearthecity,the mostimportantofwhichwas
LakeHamilton,wheremany of thecitysgrandees,including
- 242. UncleRaymond,hadlarge houses.Thousandsofpeople
flockedtothelakesmotels forsummervacation.There
wasalsoanalligatorfarmin whichthelargestresident
waseighteenfeetlong;an ostrichfarm,whoseresidents
sometimesparadeddown CentralAvenue;Keller BrelandsIQZoo,fullof
- 243. animalsand featuringtheallegedskeleton ofamermaid;anda
notoriouswhorehouserunby Maxine Harris(laterMaxineTemple
Jones),arealcharacterwho openlydepositedherpayoffs in
thelocalauthoritiesbank accountsandwhoin1983
- 244. wroteaninterestingbook abouther life:CallMeMadam:The
LifeandTimesofaHot SpringsMadam.WhenIwas tenor eleven,onacoupleof
occasionsmyfriendsandI entertainedourselvesfor hoursby
callingMaxinesplaceover
- 245. andover,tyingupherphone andblockingcallsfromreal
customers.Itinfuriatedher andshecursedusoutwith
saltyandcreativelanguage wed neverbeforeheardfroma
woman,oraman,forthat matter.Itwashilarious.I thinkshe
thoughtitwasfunny,too,at
- 246. leastforthefirstfifteen minutesorso. ForArkansas,astate
composedmostlyofwhite SouthernBaptistsandblacks, Hot
Springswasamazingly diverse,especiallyforatown
ofonly35,000.Therewasa good- sizedblackpopulationanda
- 247. hotel,theKnightsofthe Pythias,forblackvisitors. There
weretwoCatholicchurches andtwosynagogues.The
Jewishresidentsownedsome of thebeststoresandranthe
auctionhouses.Thebesttoy storeintownwasRickys, named
- 248. bytheSilvermansaftertheir son,whowasintheband
withme.Laurays,the jewelry storewhereIboughtlittle
thingsforMother,was ownedbyMartyandLaura Fleishner.
AndtherewastheBnai BrithsLeoN.Levi Hospital,whichusedthehot
springsto
- 249. treatarthritis.Ialsometmy firstArab-AmericansinHot
Springs,theZorubsandthe Hassins.WhenDavid Zorubsparentswerekilled
inLebanon,hewasadopted byhis uncle.Hecametothis
countryatnineunableto speakanyEnglishand eventually
- 250. becamevaledictorianofhis classandgovernorofBoys
State.Nowheisa neurosurgeon inPennsylvania.Guido
Hassinandhissisterswere thechildrenoftheWorld WarII
romanceofaSyrian- AmericanandanItalian woman;theyweremy
neighborsduring
- 251. highschool.Ialsohada Japanese-Americanfriend,
AlbertHahm,andaCzech classmate, RenDuchac,whosemigr
parentsownedarestaurant, TheLittleBohemia.There was
alargeGreekcommunity, whichincludedaGreek Orthodoxchurchand
Angelos,a
- 252. restaurantjustaroundthe cornerfromClintonBuick.It
wasagreatold-fashioned place, withitslongsodafountain
likebarandtablescovered withred-and-whitechecked
tablecloths.Thehouse specialtywasathree-way:
chili,beans,andspaghetti. MybestGreekfriendsbyfar
- 253. weretheLeopoulosfamily. Georgeranalittlecafon
BridgeStreetbetween CentralAvenueand Broadway,whichweclaimed
wastheshortest streetinAmerica,stretching allofathirdofablock.
Georgeswife,Evelyn,wasa tiny womanwhobelievedin
- 254. reincarnation,collected antiques,andlovedLiberace, who
thrilledherbycomingtoher housefordinneroncewhile
hewasperforminginHot Springs.Theyounger Leopoulosson,PaulDavid,
becamemybestfriendin fourthgrade andhasbeenlikemybrother
- 255. eversince. Whenwewereboys,Iloved togowithhimtohisdads
caf,especiallywhenthe carnivalwasintown,because
allthecarniesatethere.Once theygaveusfreeticketsto
alltherides.Weusedevery oneofthem,makingDavid
happyandmedizzyandsick to
- 256. mystomach.AfterthatI stucktobumpercarsand
Ferriswheels.Weveshared alifetime ofupsanddowns,and
enoughlaughsforthree lifetimes. ThatIhadfriendsand
acquaintancesfromsucha diversegroupofpeoplewhen Iwas
- 257. youngmayseemnormal today,butin1950sArkansas,
itcouldhavehappenedonly in HotSprings.Evenso,most
ofmyfriendsandIledpretty normallives,apartfromthe
occasionalcallstoMaxines bordelloandthetemptation
tocutclassesduringracing season,whichIneverdid,but
- 258. whichprovedirresistibleto someofmyclassmatesin high
school. Fromfourththroughsixth grades,mostofmyliferan
upanddownParkAvenue. Our neighborhoodwas interesting.Therewasarow
ofbeautifulhouseseastof
- 259. oursallthe waytothewoodsandanother rowbehindourhouseon
CircleDrive.David Leopoulos livedacoupleofblocks
away.Myclosestfriends amongthenearneighbors werethe
Cranefamily.Theylivedina bigoldmysterious-looking
- 260. woodenhousejustacross from mybackdrive.EdieCranes
AuntDantooktheCrane kids,andoftenme, everywheretothemovies,
toSnowSpringsParkto swiminapoolfedbyvery cold springwater,andto
WhittingtonParktoplay
- 261. miniaturegolf.Rose,the oldestkid,wasmy
age.Larry,themiddlechild, wasacoupleofyears younger.Wealwayshada
great relationshipexceptonce, whenIusedanewwordon
him.Wewereplayingwith Rosein mybackyardwhenItoldhim
- 262. hisepidermiswasshowing. Thatmadehimmad.ThenI
toldhimtheepidermisesof hismotherandfatherwere
showingtoo.Thatdidit.He went home,gotaknife,came
back,andthrewitatme. Eventhoughhemissed,Ive beenleery
ofbigwordseversince.
- 263. MaryDan,theyoungest, askedmetowaitforherto growupso
thatwecouldgetmarried. Acrossthestreetfromthe frontofourhousewasa
collectionofmodest businesses. Therewasasmallgarage
madeoftinsheeting.David andIusedtohidebehindthe
- 264. oak treeandthrowacornsagainst thetintorattletheguyswho
workedthere.Sometimeswe wouldalsotrytohitthe
hubcapsofpassingcarsand, whenwesucceeded,itmade aloud
pingingnoise.Onedayone ofourtargetsstopped
suddenly,gotoutofthecar,
- 265. sawus hidingbehindabush,and rushedupthedrivewayafter
us.Afterthat,Ididntlobso manyacornsatcars.Butit wasgreatfun.
Nexttothegaragewasa brickblockthatcontaineda
grocery,aLaundromat,and Stubbys,asmallfamily-run
- 266. barbequerestaurant,whereI oftenenjoyedamealalone,
justsittingatthefronttable bythewindow,wondering
aboutthelivesofthepeople in thepassingcars.Igotmy
firstjobatthirteeninthat grocerystore.Theowner, Dick
Sanders,wasalreadyabout
- 267. seventy,and,likemany peoplehisagebackthen,he thought
itwasabadthingtobeleft- handed,sohedecidedto changeme,adeeplyleft-
handed person.Onedayhehadme stackingmayonnaiseright-
handed,bigjarsof Hellmanns
- 268. mayonnaise,whichcost eighty-ninecents.I
misstackedoneanditfellto thefloor, leavingamessofbroken
glassandmayo.FirstI cleaneditup.ThenDicktold mehed
havetodockmypayforthe lostjar.Iwasmakinga dollaranhour.Igotupmy
courage
- 269. andsaid,Look,Dick,you canhaveagoodleft-handed
groceryboyforadollaran hour, butyoucanthaveaclumsy
right-handedoneforfree. Tomysurprise,helaughed and
agreed.Heevenletmestart myfirstbusiness,aused
comic-bookstandinfrontof the
- 270. store.Ihadcarefullysaved twotrunkloadsofcomic
books.Theywereinvery good conditionandsoldwell.At
thetimeIwasproudof myself,thoughIknownow thatifId savedthem,theydbe
valuablecollectorsitems today.
- 271. Nexttoourhousegoingwest, towardtown,wasthePerry
PlazaMotel.Ilikedthe Perrysandtheirdaughter Tavia,whowasayearortwo
olderthanI.OnedayIwas visitingherjustaftershed
gottenanewBBgun.Imust havebeennineorten.She threw
abeltonthefloorandsaidif
- 272. Isteppedoveritshedshoot me.Ofcourse,Idid.Andshe
shotme.Itwasaleghitsoit couldhavebeenworse,andI
resolvedtobecomeabetter judgeofwhensomeones bluffing.
Iremembersomethingelse aboutthePerrysmotel.It wasyellow-bricktwo
stories
- 273. highandoneroomwide, stretchingfromParkAvenue
toCircleDrive.Sometimes people wouldrentroomsthere,and
atothermotelsandrooming housesaroundtown,for weeks
orevenmonthsatatime. Onceamiddle-agedmandid thatwiththebackmostroom
on
- 274. thesecondfloor.Onedaythe policecameandtookhim
away.Hehadbeen performing abortionsthere.Untilthen,I
dontthinkIknewwhatan abortionwas. FartherdownParkAvenue
wasalittlebarbershop, whereMr.Brizendinecutmy hair.
- 275. Aboutaquartermilepastthe barbershop,ParkAvenue
runsintoRambleStreet, which thenledsouthupahilltomy
newschool,Ramble Elementary.InfourthgradeI started
band.Thegradeschoolband wascomposedofstudents fromallthecitys
elementary
- 276. schools.Thedirector,George Gray,hadagreat,
encouragingwaywithlittle kidsaswe squawkedaway.Iplayed
clarinetforayearorso,then switchedtotenorsaxophone
becausethebandneededone, achangeIwouldnever regret.Mymostvivid
memoryof
- 277. fifthgradeisaclass discussionaboutmemoryin
whichoneofmyclassmates, Tommy ONeal,toldourteacher,
Mrs.Caristianos,hethought hecouldrememberwhenhe was
born.Ididntknowwhether hehadavividimaginationor
aloosescrew,butIlikedhim
- 278. andhadfinallymetsomeone withanevenbettermemory thanmine.
Iadoredmysixth-grade teacher,KathleenSchaer.
Likealotofteachersofher generation,shenevermarried
anddevotedherlifeto children.Shelivedintoher late
eightieswithhercousin,who
- 279. madethesamechoices.As gentleandkindasshewas,
MissSchaerbelievedin toughlove.Thedaybefore
wehadourlittlegradeschool graduationceremony,she
heldmeafterclass.Shetold meIshouldbegraduating firstin
myclass,tiedwithDonna Standiford.Instead,because
- 280. mycitizenshipgradeswere so lowwemighthavebeen
callingitdeportmentby thenIhadbeendroppedto atie
forthird.MissSchaersaid, Billy,whenyougrowup youreeithergoingtobe
governor orgetinalotoftrouble.It
- 281. alldependsonwhetheryou learnwhentotalkandwhen to
keepquiet.Turnsoutshe wasrightonbothcounts. WhenIwasatRamble,my
interestinreadinggrewandI discoveredtheGarland
CountyPublicLibrary,which wasdowntown,nearthe
courthouseandnotfarfrom
- 282. ClintonBuickCompany.I wouldgothereforhours,
browsingamongthebooks and readinglotsofthem.Iwas
mostfascinatedbybooks aboutNativeAmericansand read
childrensbiographiesof Geronimo,thegreatApache;
CrazyHorse,theLakota Sioux
- 283. whokilledCusterandrouted histroopsatLittleBighorn;
ChiefJosephoftheNez Perc, whomadepeacewithhis
powerfulstatement,From wherethesunnowstands,I will
fightnomoreforever;and thegreatSeminolechief Osceola,whodevelopeda
written
- 284. alphabetforhispeople.I neverlostmyinterestin
NativeAmericansormy feelingthat theyhadbeenterribly mistreated.
MylaststoponParkAvenue wasmyfirstrealchurch,
ParkPlaceBaptistChurch. ThoughMotherandDaddy
didntgoexceptonEaster
- 285. andsometimesatChristmas, Motherencouragedmetogo,
andIdid,justaboutevery Sunday.Ilovedgetting dressed
upandwalkingdownthere. FromthetimeIwasabout
elevenuntilIgraduatedfrom high school,myteacherwasA.B.
SonnyJeffries.Hisson
- 286. Bertwasinmyclassandwe becameclosefriends.Every
Sundayforyears,wewentto Sundayschoolandchurch
together,alwayssittinginthe back,ofteninourownworld.
In1955,Ihadabsorbed enoughofmychurchs teachingstoknowthatIwas
asinnerandtowantJesusto save
- 287. me.SoIcamedowntheaisle attheendofSundayservice,
professedmyfaithinChrist, andaskedtobebaptized.The
ReverendFitzgeraldcameto thehousetotalktoMother
andme.Baptistsrequirean informedprofessionoffaith
forbaptism;theywant peopleto knowwhattheyaredoing,as
- 288. opposedtotheMethodists infant-sprinklingritualthat took
Hillaryandherbrothersout ofhellsway. BertJeffriesandIwere
baptizedtogether,alongwith severalotherpeopleona Sunday
night.Thebaptismalpool wasjustabovethechoirloft.
- 289. Whenthecurtainswere opened, thecongregationcouldsee
thepastorstandinginawhite robe,dunkingthesaved.Just
aheadofBertandmeinthe linewasawomanwhowas visiblyafraidofthewater.
She trembleddownthestepsinto thepool.Whenthepreacher
- 290. heldhernoseanddunkedher, shewentcompletelyrigid.
Herrightlegjerkedstraight upintheairandcametorest on
thenarrowstripofglassthat protectedthechoirloftfrom
splashes.Herheelstuck.She couldntgetitoff,sowhen
thepreachertriedtolifther up,hecouldntbudgeher.
- 291. Since hewaslookingather submergedhead,hedidnt
seewhathadhappened,sohe justkept jerkingonher.Finallyhe
lookedaround,figureditout, andtookthepoorwomans leg
downbeforeshedrowned. BertandIwereinstitches.I
- 292. couldnthelpthinkingthatif Jesushadthismuchofa
senseofhumor,beinga Christianwasntgoingtobe sotough.
Besidesmynewfriends, neighborhood,school,and
church,HotSpringsbrought mea newextendedfamilyinthe
Clintons.Mystep-
- 293. grandparentswereAland EulaMae CornwellClinton.PoppyAl,
asweallcalledhim,came fromDardanelle,inYell County,
abeautifulwoodedplace seventymileswestofLittle
RockuptheArkansasRiver. He metandmarriedhiswife
- 294. thereafterherfamily migratedfromMississippiin the1890s.
Wecalledmynew grandmotherMamaClinton. Shewasoneofahuge
Cornwellfamily thatspreadoutallover Arkansas.Togetherwiththe
Clintonsandmymothers relatives,
- 295. theygavemekinfolkin fifteenofArkansasseventy-
fivecounties,anenormous asset whenIstartedmypolitical
careerinatimewhen personalcontactscounted morethan
credentialsorpositionson theissues. PoppyAlwasasmallman,
- 296. shorterandslighterthan Papaw,withakind,sweet spirit.
ThefirsttimeImethimwe werestilllivinginHopeand
hedroppedbyourhouseto see hissonandhisnewfamily.
Hewasntalone.Atthetime, hewasstillworkingasa parole
- 297. officerforthestateandhe wastakingoneofthe
prisoners,whomusthave beenouton furlough,backtothe
penitentiary.Whenhegotout ofthecartovisit,theman was
handcuffedtohim.Itwasa hilarioussight,becausethe
inmatewashuge;hemust have
- 298. beentwicePoppyAlssize. ButPoppyAlspoketohim
gentlyandrespectfullyand the manseemedtorespondin
kind.AllIknowisthat PoppyAlgothismansafely backon time.
PoppyAlandMamaClinton livedinasmalloldhouseup
- 299. ontopofahill.Hekepta gardenoutback,ofwhichhe
wasveryproud.Helivedto beeighty-four,andwhenhe
wasovereighty,thatgarden producedatomatothat weighedtwoandahalf
pounds.Ihad tousebothhandstoholdit. MamaClintonruledthe
- 300. house.Shewasgoodtome, butsheknewhowto manipulate
themeninherlife.She alwaystreatedDaddylikethe
babyofthefamilywhocould do nowrong,whichisprobably
onereasonhenevergrewup. ShelikedMother,whowas
betterthanmostoftheother
- 301. familymembersatlistening toherhypochondriacaltales of
woeandatgivingsensible, sympatheticadvice.She
livedtobeninety-three. PoppyAlandMamaClinton
producedfivechildren,one girlandfourboys.Thegirl,
AuntIlaree,wasthesecond- oldestchild.Herdaughter
- 302. Virginia,whosenickname was Sister,wasthenmarriedto
GabeCrawfordandwasa goodfriendofMothers.The older
shegot,themoreofan idiosyncraticcharacterIlaree
became.OnedayMotherwas visitingherandIlaree
complainedshewashaving
- 303. troublewalking.Sheliftedup herskirt,
revealingahugegrowthon theinsideofherleg.Not
longafterward,whenshemet Hillaryforthefirsttime,she
pickedupherskirtagainand showedherthetumor.Itwas a
goodbeginning.Ilareewas thefirstoftheClintonsto
- 304. reallylikeHillary.Mother finally convincedhertohavethe
tumorremoved,andshetook thefirstflightofherlifeto the
MayoClinic.Bythetime theycutthetumoroffit weighedninepounds,but
miraculously ithadnotspreadcancercells
- 305. totherestofherleg.Iwas toldtheclinickeptthat amazing
tumorforsometimefor study.WhenjauntyoldIlaree gothome,itwasclearshe
had beenmoreafraidofherfirst flightthanofthetumoror thesurgery.
TheoldestsonwasRobert.
- 306. Heandhiswife,Evelyn, werequietpeoplewholived in
Texasandwhoseemed sensiblyhappytotakeHot Springsandtherestofthe
Clintonsin smalldoses. Thesecondson,UncleRoy,
hadafeedstore.Hiswife, Janet,andMotherwerethe
- 307. two strongestpersonalities outsidethebloodfamily,and
becamegreatfriends.Inthe early fiftiesRoyranforthe
legislatureandwon.On electionday,Ihandedout cardsforhimin
myneighborhood,ascloseto thepollingstationasthelaw
- 308. wouldallow.Itwasmyfirst politicalexperience.Uncle
Royservedonlyoneterm.He wasverywelllikedbut didnt
runforreelection,Ithink becauseJanethatedpolitics.
RoyandJanetplayed dominoes withmyfolksalmostevery
weekforyears,alternating
- 309. betweenourhomeandtheirs. Raymond,thefourthchild,
wastheonlyClintonwith anymoneyorconsistent involvementinpolitics.He
hadbeenpartoftheGI reformeffortafterWorld WarII,
althoughhewasntinthe servicehimself.Raymond
Jr.,Corky,wastheonly
- 310. onewho wasyoungerthanI.Hewas alsobrighter.Heliterally
becamearocketscientist, witha distinguishedcareerat NASA.
Motheralwayshadan ambiguousrelationshipwith Raymond,becauseheliked
torun
- 311. everythingandbecause,with Daddysdrinking,weoften
neededhishelpmorethatshe wantedit.Whenwefirst movedtoHotSprings,we
evenwenttoUncle Raymonds church,FirstPresbyterian,
thoughMotherwasatleasta nominalBaptist.Thepastor back
- 312. then,theReverend Overholser,wasaremarkable
manwhoproducedtwo equally remarkabledaughters:Nan Keohane,whobecame
presidentofWellesley, Hillarysalma mater,andthenthefirst
womanpresidentofDuke University;andGeneva Overholser,
- 313. whowaseditoroftheDes MoinesRegisterand
endorsedmewhenIranfor President, andwholaterbecamethe
ombudsmanforthe WashingtonPost,whereshe airedthe
legitimatecomplaintsofthe generalpublicbutnotthe President.
- 314. NotwithstandingMothers reservations,Iliked
Raymond.Iwasimpressed withhis strength,hisinfluencein
town,andhisgenuine interestinhiskids,andin me.His
egocentricfoiblesdidnt bothermemuch,thoughwe
wereasdifferentasdaylight and
- 315. dark.In1968,whenIwas givingprocivilrightstalks
tocivicclubsinHotSprings, Raymondwassupporting GeorgeWallacefor
President.Butin1974,when Ilaunchedan apparentlyimpossible
campaignforCongress, RaymondandGabeCrawford co-signeda
- 316. $10,000notetogetme started.Itwasallthemoney
intheworldtomethen. Whenhis wifeofmorethanforty-five
yearsdied,Raymondgot reacquaintedwithawidowhe had
datedinhighschoolandthey married,bringinghappiness
tohislastyears.Forsome
- 317. reasonIcantevenremember now,Raymondgotmadat
melateinhislife.Beforewe couldreconcilehegot
Alzheimers.Iwenttovisit himtwice,onceinSt. Josephs
Hospitalandonceina nursinghome.Thefirsttime ItoldhimIlovedhim,was
sorryfor
- 318. whateverhadcomebetween us,andwouldalwaysbe
gratefulforallheddonefor me. HemighthaveknownwhoI
wasforaminuteortwo;I cantbesure.Thesecond time,I
knowhedidntknowme,but Iwantedtoseehimonce moreanyway.Hediedat
eighty-
- 319. four,likemyauntOllie,well afterhismindhadgone.
Raymondandhisfamily livedinabighouseonLake Hamilton,whereweusedto
go forpicnicsandridesinhis bigwoodenChris-Craftboat.
WecelebratedeveryFourth of Julytherewithlotsof
- 320. fireworks.Afterhisdeath, Raymondskidsdecidedwith sadness
thattheyhadtoselltheold house.Luckilymylibrary andfoundationneededa
retreat,so weboughttheplaceandare renovatingitforthat
purpose,andRaymondskids and
- 321. grandkidscanstilluseit. Hessmilingdownonme now.
Notlongafterwemovedto ParkAvenue,in1955Ithink,
mymothersparentsmoved to HotSpringstoalittle
apartmentinanoldhouseon ourstreet,amileorso towardtown
- 322. fromourplace.Themove wasmotivatedprimarilyby
healthconcerns.Papaws bronchiectasiscontinuedto advanceandMammawhad
hadastroke.Papawgotajob ata liquorstore,whichIthink
Daddyownedapartof,just acrossfromMr.Brizendines
barbershop.Hehadalotof
- 323. freetime,sinceeveninHot Springsmostpeopleweretoo
conventionaltofrequent liquorstoresinbroad daylight,soIoftenvisited
himthere.He playedalotofsolitaireand taughtmehow.Istillplay
threedifferentkinds,often when Imthinkingthrougha
- 324. problemandneedanoutlet fornervousenergy. Mammawsstrokewasa
majorone,andinthe aftermathshewasrackedby hysterical
screaming.Unforgivably,to calmherdown,herdoctor
prescribedmorphine,lotsof it.It waswhenshegothookedthat
- 325. Motherbroughtherand PapawtoHotSprings.Her
behaviorbecameevenmore irrational,andindesperation
Motherreluctantly committed hertothestatesmental
hospital,aboutthirtymiles away.Idontthinkthere wereany
drug-treatmentfacilitiesback
- 326. then. OfcourseIdidntknow anythingaboutherproblem
atthetime;Ijustknewshe was sick.ThenMotherdroveme
overtothestatehospitalto seeher.Itwasawful.Itwas
bedlam.Wewentintoabig openroomcooledbyelectric
fansencasedinhugemetal
- 327. meshtokeepthepatients fromputtingtheirhandsinto
them.Dazed-lookingpeople dressedinloosecotton
dressesorpajamaswalked aroundaimlessly,muttering to
themselvesorshoutinginto space.Still,Mammaw seemednormalandgladto
seeus,and
- 328. wehadagoodtalk.Aftera fewmonths,shehadsettled
downenoughtocomehome, and shewasneveragainon
morphine.Herproblemgave memyfirstexposuretothe kindof
mental-healthsystemthat servedmostofAmericaback then.Whenhebecame
governor,
- 329. OrvalFaubusmodernizedour statehospitalandputalot
moremoneyintoit.Despite the damagehedidinotherareas,
Iwasalwaysgratefultohim forthat. FIVE In1956,Ifinallygota
brother,andourfamily finallygotatelevisionset.
- 330. Mybrother, RogerCassidyClinton,was bornonJuly25,hisfathers
birthday.Iwassohappy. MotherandDaddyhadbeen tryingtohaveababyfor
sometime(acoupleofyears earliershedhada miscarriage).Ithinkshe,and
probablyhetoo,thoughtit mightsave
- 331. theirmarriage.Daddys responsewasnotauspicious.
IwaswithMammawand Papaw whenMotherdeliveredby
caesareansection.Daddy pickedmeupandtookmeto see
her,thenbroughtmehome andleft.Hehadbeen drinkingforthelastfew
months,and
- 332. insteadofmakinghimhappy andresponsible,thebirthof
hisonlysonpromptedhimto runbacktothebottle.
Alongwiththeexcitementof anewbabyinthehousewas thethrillofthenewTV.
Therewerelotsofshowsand entertainersforkids:
cartoons,CaptainKangaroo and
- 333. HowdyDoody,withBuffalo BobSmith,whomI
especiallyliked.Andthere was baseball:MickeyMantleand
theYankees,StanMusialand theCardinals,andmyall-
timefavorite,WillieMays andtheoldNewYorkGiants.
Butstrangeasitwasforakid oftenyearsold,whatreally
- 334. dominatedmyTVviewing thatsummerwerethe
RepublicanandDemocratic conventions.Isatonthe floorrightin
frontoftheTVandwatched themboth,transfixed.It
soundscrazy,butIfeltright at homeintheworldofpolitics
andpoliticians.Iliked
- 335. PresidentEisenhowerand enjoyed seeinghimrenominated,but
wewereDemocrats,soI reallygotintotheir convention.
GovernorFrankClementof Tennesseegavearousing
keynoteaddress.Therewas an excitingcontestforthevice-
- 336. presidentialnomination betweenyoungSenatorJohn F.
Kennedyandtheeventual victor,SenatorEstes Kefauver,whoserved
Tennesseeinthe SenatewithAlGoresfather. WhenAdlaiStevenson,the
nomineein1952,accepted his
- 337. partyscalltorunagain,he saidhehadprayedthiscup
wouldpassfromme.I admired Stevensonsintelligenceand
eloquence,buteventhenI couldntunderstandwhy anyone
wouldntwantthechanceto bePresident.NowIthink whathedidntwantwasto
lead
- 338. anotherlosingeffort.Ido understandthat.Ivelosta
coupleofelectionsmyself, thoughI neverfoughtabattleIdidnt
firstconvincemyselfIcould win. Ididntspendallmytime
watchingTV.Istillsawall themoviesIcould.Hot Springs
- 339. hadtwoold-fashionedmovie houses,theParamountand
theMalco,withbigstageson whichtouringwesternstars
appearedontheweekends.I sawLashLaRue,alldecked out
incowboyblack,dohis trickswithabullwhip,and GailDavis,whoplayed
AnnieOakley
- 340. onTV,giveashooting exhibition. ElvisPresleybegantomake
moviesinthelatefifties.I lovedElvis.Icouldsingall his
songs,aswellasthe Jordanairesbackgrounds.I admiredhimfordoinghis
military serviceandwasfascinated
- 341. whenhemarriedhis beautifulyoungwife, Priscilla.Unlike
mostparents,whothought hisgyrationsobscene, MotherlovedElvis,too,
maybeeven morethanIdid.Wewatched hislegendaryperformanceon
TheEdSullivanShow together,andlaughedwhen
- 342. thecamerascutoffhislower bodymovementstoprotect us
fromtheindecency.Beyond hismusic,Iidentifiedwith
hissmall-townsouthern roots. AndIthoughthehadagood
heart.SteveClark,afriendof minewhoservedasattorney
generalwhenIwasgovernor,
- 343. oncetookhislittlesister, whowasdyingofcancer,to see
ElvisperforminMemphis. WhenElvisheardaboutthe
littlegirl,heputherandher brotherinthefrontrow,and
aftertheconcerthebrought heruponstageandtalkedto her
foragoodwhile.Inever
- 344. forgotthat. Elvissfirstmovie,LoveMe
Tender,wasmyfavoriteand remainsso,thoughIalso
likedLovingYou,Jailhouse Rock,KingCreole,andBlue
Hawaii.Afterthat,his movies gotmoresaccharineand
predictable.Theinteresting thingaboutLoveMeTender,
- 345. a postCivilWarwestern,is thatElvis,alreadyanational
sexsymbol,gotthegirl, Debra Paget,butonlybecauseshe
thoughthisolderbrother, whomshereallyloved,had been
killedinthewar.Attheend ofthefilm,Elvisgetsshot
- 346. anddies,leavinghisbrother with hiswife.
IneverquiteescapedElvis. Inthe92campaign,some membersofmystaff
nicknamedmeElvis.Afew yearslater,whenIappointed KimWardlawofLos
Angeles
- 347. toafederaljudgeship,she wasthoughtfulenoughto
sendmeascarfElvishad wornand signedforheratoneofhis
concertsintheearly seventies,whenshewas nineteen.Istill
haveitinmymusicroom. AndIconfess:Istilllove Elvis.
- 348. Myfavoritemoviesduring thistimewerethebiblical
epics:TheRobe,Demetrius and theGladiators,Samsonand
Delilah,Ben-Hur,and especiallyTheTen Commandments,
thefirstmovieIrecall payingmorethanadimeto see.IsawTheTen
Commandments
- 349. whenMotherandDaddy wereonabrieftriptoLas
Vegas.Itookasacklunch andsat throughthewholething
twiceforthepriceofone ticket.Yearslater,whenI welcomed
CharltonHestontotheWhite HouseasaKennedyCenter
honoree,hewaspresidentof
- 350. theNationalRifle Associationandavirulent
criticofmylegislative effortstokeepguns awayfromcriminalsand
children.Ijokedtohimand theaudiencethatIlikedhim better
asMosesthaninhispresent role.Tohiscredit,hetookit ingoodhumor.