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NEIU CESA Newsletter Counselor Education Student Association Vol. 6 No. 3
W I N T E R I I 2 0 1 5
In This Issue Upcoming Events 2 CESA / NEIU Events 3 Theoretical Dating Advice 4 Laura Tejada APA Style: What You Need To Know 6 Nicole Debnar CESA Internship Workshop Experience 9 Jonathan Cornell Being My Own Valentine 10 Sue Schwendener Body Language of Attraction 13 Rachel Sonberg
Get Involved! Suggestions, Comments, Questions, Idea for an article?
NEIUCESA@gmail.com / https://facebook.com/groups/NEIUCESA/
Or talk to one of your officers in class…
Leslie Contos – President l-contos@neiu.edu
Bill Harrison – Vice President (Newsletter Editor) W-Harrison1@neiu.edu
Melissa Erickson – Secretary Mericks1@neiu.edu
Katie Petty – Treasurer Kepetty1@neiu.edu
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Upcoming Events
IAMFT Annual Conference 2015 Illinois Association for Marriage &
Family Therapy
March 5, 6, 7 2015 NIU Conference Center Naperville, IL
http://www.iamft.org/ohana/
2015 IL-APT Conference Illinois Association for Play Therapy
February 26 - 27, 2015
The Holiday Inn & Suites Chicago - O'Hare/Rosemont
http://www.ila4pt.org/training-and-conferences/
ISCA Annual Conference 2015 Illinois School Counselors Association
April 24th
North Shore Holiday Inn – Skokie, IL
http://www.ilschoolcounselor.org/conference/registration.html
Illinois Counseling Association NCMHCE/LCPC Test Prep – IMHCA
February 21-22 9AM - 4PM
Chicago, IL
2015 ICA Annual Southern Conference
March 20, 2015
Doubletree Hotel, Collinsville, IL
IMHCA Annual Conference 2015 Illinois Mental Health Counselors Association
March 6, 7, 8 2015
Doubletree Inn – Skokie, IL http://www.imhca.org/Annual-Conference
ACA Annual Conference 2015 American Counseling Association
March 12 - 15 2015
Orlando, FL
https://www.counseling.org/conference/orlando-aca-2015
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Upcoming CESA Events Monthly Meetings (All are welcome!)
NEIU Campus – Student Union SU-217
Thursday, March 5th 6:30 – 7:30 PM Book Swap – Bring a counseling book to sell or trade
Thursday, April 2nd 6:30 – 7:30 PM Thursday, May 7th 6:30 – 7:30 PM
Play Therapy Workshop April 1st Time and Location TBA
Coming Soon: Licensure Workshop - Spring 2015
Here’s why you should join CESA:
• Be in the know about events happening through the Counseling Department. • Network! Get to know your fellow classmates and other counselors in the field. • Add it to your resume. • Have the opportunity to discuss courses with classmates.
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Theoretical Dating Advice: Forming a Relationship with Counseling Theory
by Laura Tejada, Ph.D., LCPC, LMFT, RPT-S
Hello, all you students of counseling theories! Still haven’t found your theoretical home?
Tired of watching all your fellow students settle down with Mr. or Ms. Perfect Theoretical
Partner, while you are still flipping through your Little Black Textbook hoping you can
find a theory that’s willing and available for a one-assignment stand? Do you despair of
ever finding a theoretical orientation you can live with AND practice with for the
foreseeable future? You’re in luck. Dr. Laura of the CESA Theoretical Relationship Center
will answer your theoretical dating questions.
Q: Will I ever find the perfect theoretical orientation?
A: No. (C’mon! You knew the answer to that question when you asked it!) Finding the
perfect theory is like finding the perfect partner. They don’t exist. What you will find once
you stop looking for THE theory is a theory that you are more comfortable with than
others, one that reflects your worldview, and has limitations or drawbacks that you can live
with and work around. Most important, though, is to seek a theory that helps you be
yourself in session while being true to the foundations of your profession. Give up the idea
of The Perfect Theoretical Orientation, and start looking for the theoretical orientation that
is a good fit for you.
Q: I like a different theory every week. Each chapter I read in the COUN 403 or COUN
420 textbook has me convinced that it is THE ONE. Am I theoretically promiscuous?
A: No, not if you are in the early stages of the Counselor Ed program. It is normal for
students who are in their first year of coursework to have a crush on a different theory each
week or month. By the time you work your way into your Internship, you will begin to find
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yourself more selective. If this doesn’t happen, and you are still playing the theoretical field
during your internship semesters, consult a trusted clinical supervisor or professor for
guidance.
Q: I can’t find a theory that I really, really like. I read them and they interest me, but none
of them get me hot and bothered. Am I lacking some sort of theoretical libido?
A: No. You are normal. In fact, it’s best to make a theory selection with a cool head rather
than with a hot body. The theoretical orientation pairings that work best over the long term
are those that you one day realize were there in your world view all along, but you didn’t
know the words for the theoretical concepts. Shop around. Go out with more than one
theory, and take some time before you settle down. You are looking for a relationship with
your theoretical orientation, not a fling.
Q: I really, really like one theory and it fits for me. It’s the one that I adhere to in all my
written assignments, but I find myself trying out other theories at my internship when my
supervisor isn’t watching and I’m not taping the session or transcribing for my internship
class. I try to use the two theories separately and not mix them together—school is school
and internship is internship. But I feel guilty. Is this theoretical infidelity?
A: The element of secrecy is a dead giveaway. Espousing one theory publically and
using another in private is only good until one of them finds out. It is not uncommon for
practitioners to have open relationships with two different theories, mindfully integrating
the two into a personal model of therapy which they refine with experience. The key is to
be open and honest with both theories and admit to each one AND yourself that you are
integrating them. It is then on you as the future professional to make sure that they share
your theoretical household harmoniously.
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I can hear the sighs of graduate students after the instructor reads off the syllabus that
APA Style is a class requirement. For something that is supposed to make things easier for
people in our field, it appears that not everyone adopts the same mentality. I am going to
try to change that by sharing a few tips and resources about APA Style.
Before we delve in to the nitty gritty about APA Style, lets take a look back on its
history and purpose. APA Style dates back to 1929 when a group of psychologists,
anthropologists, and businessmen gathered to create a simple set of style rules that would
codify the many nuances of scientific writing (“What is,” n.d.). Their hope was that this
standardization would make the creation, comprehension, and proliferation of scientific
writing easier for everyone in the field of social sciences (“What is,” n.d.). Essentially, the
purpose of APA is to help us all organize our papers in a uniform fashion. That way we are
able to scan for information a lot more quickly by sifting through the headers and
paragraphs that make up our manuscripts. Once you know APA Style, you will become a
pro at skimming these articles when completing your literature review and annotated
bibliography assignments for class.
So how do we come to master APA Style? Know where to find the
information! Your professors do not expect you to memorize all the standards of APA
Style, but they do expect you to know where to find them or who to go to for assistance.
You can begin by locating the Publication Manual of the American Psychological
Association, Sixth Edition. This is a great resource for those of you taking an Experimental
Course and any of you writing up your findings from a research project. The Manual goes
through the entire scientific writing process from breaking down the different types of
articles to getting your manuscript ready for publication. Perhaps you do not feel like
APA Style: What You Need to Know and Where You Can Find It
by Nicole Debnar
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dropping $30 on purchasing this book, no worries, it is available in the reference section at
NEIU’s library! What are you to do with over 270 pages of jargon? I’ll help get you started
by directing you to a few of my go-to chapters of the Manual.
Chapter 2, “Manuscript Structure and Content” is a good starting point for any of
you completing a research and evaluation course that may require you to write a paper
summarizing your findings from a study. The chapter breaks down the sections of a
manuscript (e.g., cover page, introduction, method, and discussion). Page 40 is my favorite
page of this section because it provides a sample manuscript in standard APA form. I
always use this page to ensure my final product follows the style of this example.
Chapter 3, “Writing Clearly and Concisely” is an excellent resource for everyone as
it will teach you that how to make your paper flow. First, it will teach you that less is more
-- knowing what you need to say and how to say it clearly. Moreover, it will teach you how
to avoid redundant and flowery writing. Second, it will go over how to format and use the
different levels of headings to organize your paper. Finally, it will teach you how to be
sensitive to any labels you may use when writing about different subgroups of people.
Chapter 6, “Crediting Sources” is an essential chapter that will help you cite your
sources within your paper and also demonstrate how to compose your reference list. This
chapter will save you from inadvertently plagiarizing and getting docked points for not
citing a certain source in the correct format! First, it will teach you how to paraphrase.
Second, it will go over how to use direct quotations. A word to the wise on this, avoid
direct quotations at all costs! You are in graduate school! Please use that noggin of yours to
digest the material and paraphrase the information. Too many direct quotations in a paper
will not send the greatest message to your instructor. They want to see that you are able to
synthesize the information and repeat it back in your own words. With that being said, do
not forget to tack on the in-text citation! Finally, the chapter will give you many examples
on how to cite various sources (e.g., journal articles, interviews, film clips, etc.).
And there you have it! Those are my quick tips on how to sift through the
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Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, Sixth Edition.
For those of you not wanting to make a trip to the library and/or not wanting to drop
$30 the Manual, my favorite online resource is Purdue Owl! It’s my other go-to for a
quick and easy rundown on all things APA!
References
APA Style (n.d.). Retrieved January 31, 2015, from Purdue Online Writing Lab
website, https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/2/10/
Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, Sixth Edition.
Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2010.
What is APA Style? (n.d.). Retrieved January 31, 2015, from American Psychological
Association website, http://www.apastyle.org/learn/faqs/what-is-apa-style.aspx
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CESA Internship Workshop Experience by Jonathan Cornell
I attended the CESA sponsored internship meeting for prospective 2015-2016
practicum/internship students. The first portion of the meeting contained a quick but very
comprehensive and well organized Powerpointand overview of the internship application
process. Then the floor was opened for questions and concerns. This portion was great,
and I was able to gain a little more perspective about some specific concerns I had and
especially get a good idea of realistic timelines and expectations.
The next segment of the meeting was devoted to a roundtable discussion with six
current interns which was followed by a question and answer session with all of them
responding. This was great! Each student described their process and experience while
applying, their interview experiences and ultimately getting a site. Each experience was
different and some had a site chosen early on, and others had the "nightmare scenario", but
in the end everything still turned out well for the entire panel. This was somewhat
reassuring for all of us present, as the anxiety and urgency to find a good site is something
we are all feeling to some degree. Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the meeting and highly
recommend any prospective interns to attend the CESA internship information meeting.
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The number of adults in America who consider themselves “single” has outweighed
the amount of people who say they have a partner for almost 10 years now. Actually, we’re
all single.
Recently, I’ve come across several psychologists, sociologists, and mainstream
media who celebrate the single life and talk about its benefits for individuals and our
society. All note the difference between being lonely and living alone. So, in celebration of
Valentine’s Day 2015, I wanted to share some of their thoughts on how to nurture our inner
selves and celebrate our singleness.
Singing and dancing
Eric Klinenberg is a sociology professor at New York University and the author of
the 2012 book “Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living
Alone.” Klinenberg and colleagues assembled a playlist of songs that celebrate being
single. Here are several of the songs on the list:
• Rolling Stones, “Get off of My Cloud”
• Beyoncé, “All the Single Ladies”
• Bob Marley, “No Woman, No Cry”
• Tom Waits, “Better off without a Wife”
• Rufus Wainwright, “One Man Guy”
• Gloria Gaynor, “I Will Survive”
• Billy Idol, “Dancing with Myself”
Good food
The BBC’s Good Food website, magazine and TV show showcase the art of cooking
Being My Own Valentine by Sue Schwendener
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for one with their “Meals-for-one” segment. Among their current list of recipes, I found:
• Super steak with cheat’s Béarnaise
• Melting tomato and basil omelet
• Leek and sage risotto with crisp bacon
• One-pot chicken pilaf
• Noodle broth with Thai flavors
• A risotto for early summer
Stillness
Lauren Mackler, a life coach and author, notes in her book “Solemate, Master the
Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life,” that happiness can be elusive if we are the
“mercy of every situation and every stranger” we meet. Instead, she offers tips to help us
reconnect with our internal source of joy or our higher self. Among her suggestions:
• Take a daily walk in nature and be conscious of the surrounding stillness and beauty.
• Sit quieting by the fire, look at the stars, or take a candlelit bath.
• Pray, meditate or make time for spiritual practice every day.
• Practice yoga or deep breathing exercises.
• Make room in your life for laughter. Nurture it in friendships and look for it in your
entertainment.
Connections
Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist, author of “Singled Out: How Singles are
Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After” and “Single with
Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and
Friendship,” also writes the “Living Single” blog for Psychology Today, the “Single at
Heart” blog for Psych Central and has her own blog at www.belladepaulo.com/blog.
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Throughout her work, she cites studies that show the multitude of connections that singles
often develop.
In a 2010 blog for Psychology Today, she writes, “my bottom line is this: If you have a
friend, a sibling, a parent, a child, a cousin, a coworker, a neighbor, or just about any other
person in your life, and you maintain a connection with that person, you have a relationship.
You are in a relationship. I feel the same way about love . . . it is a word with a big, broad
meanings. Let’s celebrate all of them.”
And so, whether you enjoy time with yourself or with others on February 14, whether
you do any of the above activities or something else, I hope at some point you will also take a
second to think about the importance and joy of being our own Best Valentine.
References:
BBC Good Food, Retrieved from www.bbcgoodfood.com
De Paulo, B. (2010). The meaning of ‘relationship;’ Notes from a party. Psychology Today
website. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-
single/201003/the-meaning-relationship-notes-party.
Mackler, L. (2009). Solemate: Master the art of aloneness and transform your life. Carlsbad,
CA: Hay House, Inc.
Klinenberg, E. et al. Playlists for some of the greatest songs on Going Solo. Retrieved from
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005GSYYIU?btkr=1
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For decades, our culture has emphasized sexuality, and there is no doubt that body
language play a huge part in sexual attraction. A primary example of this is Marilyn
Monroe. What is it that makes her “sexy”? I challenge you to look at a picture of this
famous star and see for yourself. Marilyn Monroe, like a lot of today’s famous models,
utilizes the body language of attraction - looking up at you through lowered lids, lips
slightly parted, eyebrows raised high. This is the look some females exhibit right before
an orgasm, which is why it subconsciously attracts men’s attention. However, how do
you attract another person’s attention without showing such intimate body language?
Most people know by an early age that if you want to catch someone’s attention
all you have to do is stare at them. Over 90% of the time, women are the instigators of
courtship. However, women do this so subtly through body language (eye contact, facial
expressions, body posture) that men often believe themselves to be the instigators.
Therefore, it is no surprise that when a woman wants to catch a man’s attention she will
look across the room and meet his gaze for approximately three seconds before looking
away. Research indicates that men generally do not pick up on this message of conveyed
interest until the third or forth time the woman looks over. According to Allan and
Barbara Perce, men tend to be worse at reading body language than women, often
mistaking friendliness and smiling for sexual interest and flirtation. This is due to the
high amount of testosterone men have (over ten to twenty times more than a woman),
which increases men’s tendency to think about sex more often than women. Another
common form of body language used by women is the head tilt. This gesture makes the
woman appear submissive and nonthreatening (due to the exposure of the neck) which is
hugely attractive to most men. Hair flicks are another common form of body language
used in courtship. A woman might toss her hair over her shoulder or away from her face,
Body Language of Attraction by Rachel Sonberg
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whether her hair is long or short. This gesture also causes her armpit to be exposed briefly,
which releases her pheromones. As Marylyn Monroe often exhibits in her photographs,
having wet, open lips shows sexual invitations. Self-touching is another subtle attraction
signal, such as when a woman strokes her neck or leg. Men may subconsciously think to
themselves if they “play their cards right” they will be able to touch her the same way.
Women may also glance over their shoulder, which emphasizes female curves and gives
the impression of caught vulnerability. Last but not least, perhaps women’s greatest assets
are their hips. Women naturally have wider hips then men for childbearing and because of
that women’s hips roll when they walk. You will see this often when models sashay side to
side as they walk. Marylyn Monroe in fact used to cut the heel of her left shoe in order to
further emphasize the roll of her hips when she walked.
Men and women both tend to play with objects such as jewelry or a wine glass,
which gives away their unconscious desire and attraction to another person. Both men and
women find “bedroom eyes” attractive. Bedroom eyes occur when a person’s pupils are
enlarged when they are interested in someone. However, low lights can also cause this
effect, which is why dimly lit restaurants tend to seem romantic. When you are attracted to
another individual, blood rushes to the surface of your skin causing your body to heat up,
which often results in blushing.
The “proper” attraction process using body language goes in five stages: eye contact,
smiling, preening, talk and touch. The eye contact stage is simple - the woman scans the
room and catches the gaze of a man or woman. Then, the woman smiles to invite approach.
Next is the preening step in which the woman will stand or sit up straight to show off her
breasts, cross her legs, tilt her head to one side and play with her hair or jewelry. The man
will respond by straightening up, pulling in his stomach, adjusting his clothes, and pointing
his feet or body towards the woman. Then, he might walk over and begin a conversation.
Finally, the woman or man may reach out and touch the other person on the arm or hands.
Perhaps these steps sound familiar to you.
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Not sure if the person is interested back? Both women and men tend to point their
feet in the direction of the person they are interested in or attracted to. However, if his or
her feet are pointed towards the door, he or she is looking for a quick exit! If the woman
is holding a handbag tightly between the two of you, she is using this gesture as a barrier
to prevent you from getting any closer. Are his or her hands in their pockets or are their
hands open at their sides? Hands in front pockets indicate an unwillingness to talk. If the
person’s eyes are constantly darting around the room, he or she is looking for an escape
route. So, if the person you are interested in has their feet pointed towards the door, their
hands completely in their pockets, is holding a handbag between the two of you and their
eyes are constantly darting around the room, chances are he or she is not interested.
For more information please reference The Definitive Book of Body Language by
Allan and Barbara Pease.