Optimist International1 Mentoring HOW TO BUILD & NURTURE A RELATIONSHIP.

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Optimist International 1

Mentoring

HOW TO BUILD & NURTUREA RELATIONSHIP

Optimist International 2

ICE BREAKER –Soap Opera Name

First name = your middle name

Last name = your street’s name

EXAMPLE:

Sara Michelle Evans who lives on Sycamore Drive =

Michelle Sycamore

Let’s get acquainted!

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WHAT WE WILL COVER

How Mentoring Creates Success

When Mentoring Works

Communication is the Key

Personality StylesRight/Left Brain

ThinkingChoosing a

Mentor/Protégé

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Mentoring in the Past

Odysseus asked his TRUSTED friend, MENTOR, to look after his son.

MENTOR watched over him for almost ten years; this is how the word MENTOR was derived.

WISE and TRUSTED TEACHER or COUNSELOR.

Traditionally role fulfilled by Father

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Protégé

Old French Word “proteger”

To protect

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Past Mentors

Sigmund Freud to Carl Jung

Merlin to King Arthur

Aristotle to Alexander

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Motivation – 1920’s

Mayo asked teams “What do you want?”

Answer:1. Sense of

Purpose2. Feeling of

Success3. Happiness

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Motivation – 1930’s-40’s

Maslow asked individuals “What do you want?”

Answer:1. Sense of

Purpose2. Feeling of

Success3. Happiness

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Motivation – 1950’s

General Foods Corporation combined philosophies by encouraging teamwork with focused interpersonal communication.

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Motivation – 1990’s

Teenage boys asked

“What do you want?” Answer:

1. Pizza

2. Car

3. Brittany Spears

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Types of Mentoring

Primary & Secondary Structured &

Informal Active & Passive Short & Long Term Group Mentors Societal Vocational

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Modern Day Examples

Sandra Day O’Conner – Harry Rathburn

Everett Koop – Ray Nash

Bill Blass – Baron Nicholas De Gunzburg

Tom Landry – Mike Ditka, Dan Reeves

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For Protégé, a Mentor Can

OPEN DOORS

SAVE TIME & MONEY

REDUCE FRUSTRATION

SHARING

COACH & ADVISOR

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For Mentors …

A WAY OF GIVING BACK

ENHANCE PERFORMANCE

SOW SEEDS OF LEADERSHIP

KEEP MENTOR SHARP AND CURRENT

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Mentoring –WHEN IT WORKS

Needs to be a REWARD - does not need to be monetary. WIIFM - What’s In It For Me?

Protégé – knowledge, contacts Mentor – help future leader

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COMMUNICATION IS KEY

Mentoring works best when mentor and protégé are compatible. Use an informal PERSONALITY CHECK prior to agreement.

Two-way communication is necessary.

Mentor – adviseProtégé - goals

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Tips to Listen Better

A. Listen Between Words

B. Active/Visual Listening

C. Be involved – ask questions

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TO BE A BETTER SPEAKER

Ask open questions

Mentors need to learn how to confront proteges in non-threatening, constructive manner

Concentrate on how you make your protege feel rather than teaching a lesson.

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THREE MODES OF LEARNING

1. Visual - allows the protégé to acquire information with his/her eyes (visual cues, likes to read books and receive email)

2. Auditory - processing information with the ears (personal stories, motivational tapes)

3. Kinesthetic/experiential - enjoy tours, field trips and other types of interpersonal networking, such as Optimist meetings.

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Personality Styles

Importance• Develop relationship• Motivation• Understanding

Tests• Myers-Briggs• Leadership Styles &

Profiles

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Spectrum of Human Behavior

Non-direct Direct

Non-Direct is shy or hesitant

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Personality Test

Supportive Empathic Cheerleader

Controlling Hide emotions Dictate rather

than reactControlling

Supportive

No right or wrong!

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Four Styles - Example

Non-direct

Controlling

Supportive

Direct

R S

T D

X

X

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R – “Relater”

Friendly – big hearts Concerned with

feelings Good encouragers Tell you what you

want to hear Avoids Bad News

Half full – would you like some?

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S – “Socializer”

Like to have FUN

Good Time Party people Not taken

seriously

Who cares?

Let’s drink it!

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D – “Director”

Leaders; in charge Concerned with:

Efficiency Productivity

Sometimes lacking: People skills Etiquette Tact

Look into this and get back to me!

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T – “Thinker”

Best decisions Strengths

Analysis Critical

Thinking Weakness

OveranalyzesNo enemies, but

friends hate them.

It’s too close to tell.

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LEFT/RIGHT BRAIN THINKING

Judging Perceiving

Seeks closure Seeks open options

Prefer filing systems Prefers piling systems

Makes lists, uses them Makes lists, loses them

Organized Comfortable

Problem oriented People oriented

Prefers clarity Prefers harmony

Rationally based Emotionally based

Male Female

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Choosing a Mentor

1. Personal Examination Goals Kind of person Personal or

Email

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Choosing a Mentor

2. Ideal Mentor is compatible with: Personality

Style Learning Mode Left or Right

Brained

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Choosing a Mentor

3. Create a list

4. Investigate

5. Ask someone Identify their WIIFM Follow up Recognize

6. Formalize agreement

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Why Choose a Protégé

“You can get what you want if you help enough people get what they want.”

Zig Zigler

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Choosing a Protégé

Self Examination

1. Skill or Experience

2. Willing to give time

3. Able to commit

4. Former Protégé

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Choosing a Protégé

Best Qualities of Protégé1. Defined Goals2. Willing to be directed3. Asks & accepts help4. Listens to others5. Follows instructions6. Grateful7. Self-confident8. Follows through

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CONGRATULATIONS

You are on your way to one of the most satisfying and productive relationships you will ever experience.

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In Closing

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