RAISING TEENS IN THE 21 ST CENTURY James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

transcript

RAISING TEENS

IN THE 21ST CENTURY

James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

TEXTING, SEXTING

& CELL PHONES

James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

• Internet

• Technology

• Sex

• Stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional athletes and . . .)

• High school romance

• “Anonymity”

THE PERFECT STORM

www.DrJamesWellborn.com

SEXTING STATS

Frequency

• 4% sent images (Girls=65%)

• 15% received images from Pew

Why teens sext:

• Fun or flirtatious = 66% (most common response)

• Sexy present to boyfriend = 52% girls

• Responding back = 44%

• A joke = 40%

• Feel sexy = 34% girls

• Pressured = 12% girls

TEXTING INFO

Kids who text 120+ times a day:

• 3 ½ times more likely to have had sex

• More likely to have been in a physical fight

• More likely to binge drink, use illegal drugs

• Decreased importance of moral, aesthetic, and spiritual goals

• Greater importance of wealth and image

• Greater explicit prejudice toward a broad range of social outgroups.

What’s a parent to do?

TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES

Educate yourself

Have the talk.

Set ground rules

Make them earn it

Computers in common areas

Webcams

Monitor devices and accounts monthly

Test their readiness

Warning signs.

Consequences

INTERNET

Have the talk

Don’t exaggerate the dangers Teach about privacy and personal information Emphasize trust and good judgment Complete transparency Permanent record Sex, flirting, pornography and sexual harassment Sexual Communication and the law

Set the ground rules

• Parents have all passwords• Personal information• Acceptable words and information• No sexting or chat rooms visits• All apps must be preapproved• Pictures (and tagging)• Private vs Public information• Friends vs friends• Online bullying/harassment• Language• Sending or receiving aggressive messages

Educate yourself

Have the talk

Make them earn it.

Webcams

Monitor devices and accounts monthly.

Test their readiness

Warning signs.

Consequences

ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST

Novice 6 months of appropriate internet use

Knows internet and social network account rules

Texts responsibly

Remains trustworthy

Owns up to violations and mistakes

ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST

Expert 6 months as Novice

Resists social pressure

Assertive

Self-control

Media savvy

Talks to you about problems (optional)

After 17 years old, give up

Educate yourself

Have the talk

Make them earn it

Webcams

Monitor devices and accounts monthly.

Warning signs.

Consequences

Monitor devices & accounts monthly

• Review pictures• Check for rogue apps• Review texts

WARNING SIGNS

Use computer parents don’t check

Close/minimize browser when parents are around

Furtive, suspicious behavior/innocent, loving behavior

Privacy settings to limit access

Lie/omit details of online activity

Hide/delete instant messages/texts

Use private browsing modes

Clears browser history

Apps that hide apps

Ghost email and social networking profiles

adapted from TRU Insights and McAfee, 2012

SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES

• First violation

• 1 month probation• Supervised electronic media use• Daily talks for 7 straight days• Return to previous level if successful

SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES

• First violation

• If violation is • visiting chat rooms• sexting • ghost accounts

• Shut down all forms of electronic communication.

• Disable camera.

SOCIAL MEDIAGROUND RULES

• Second violation

• Lock them out of their accounts• Drop them to pre-Novice level for 3 months

• Third violation in 12 months

• Close their accounts permanently• Lock out internet use from home• Cancel phone texting and internet• Check for Ghost accounts• Consult

www.DrJamesWellborn.come.g., 5 part series on Sexting

There’s A Stranger In My House WWW.BrentwoodHomePage.com

Parenting Teens Newsletterwww.drjameswellborn.com/newsletter

RESOURCES

RAISING TEENS IN THE 21 ST CENTURY James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

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