Relationships 101 Biblical Courtship and Marriage

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Relationships 101Courtship and Marriage

1.) Dating is in direct contradiction to the Scriptures, that admonish us to "flee youthful lusts" and to "flee fornication." (Eph 4:22; 2 Tim 2:22; 1Cor 6:18)

2.) Dating ignores the biological facts of human sexuality.

At the end of the marriage ceremony the preacher says, “You may now kiss the bride!” This statement seems to assume that the groom has never kissed the woman before that day.

3.) Dating tends to abuse and misuse what doesn’t belong to you.

The baggage remaining from painful dating must be dealt with by the person who takes your leftovers as their wife or husband.

4.) Dating is the starting place for destroying relationships

There is no commitment by either party to continue beyond the first date.

5.) Dating becomes a preparation for handling divorce, not a preparation for building a permanent marriage.

Dating gets one used to the idea of rejecting and being rejected in the search for the perfect relationship.

6.) Dating builds insecurity into relationships.

Imagine a marriage without scars of rejection to overcome because you have been hurt earlier by partners who were unfaithful.

7.) Dating prevents the building of friendships

When you date there is the selectiveness of romantic, sexual relationships that prevent the building of friendships.

So what is the alternative to dating?

The alternative to dating is NOT courtship!

• Courtship is not “going out in groups” or “double-dating.”

• Courting is not what “Christian” teenagers do instead of dating.

• Courting is what a man and woman do in preparation for marriage.

The Father’s Authority &Responsibility

The problem with our culture is not merely sexual immorality, it is also sexual irresponsibility. The Bible teaches there is to be no escape from responsibility. The teenage years were to be years of preparation for responsibility, not for irresponsibility.

• It is not casual dating; it is a relationship with a view to marriage.

• It has a lot to do with manners; there is an appropriate way to behave.

• It also has to do civility, i.e., with law.

• It involved following appropriate procedures.

• It involves a "court".

Preparing a Case for Your Date in Court

Webster’s Dictionary speaks of a synonym for courting - being a suitor.

A man is filing his suit; he is declaring the justice of his claim for the hand of a woman.

Passing Judgment on the Case in Court

The Bible is clear that the daughter’s father is to be heavily involved in this matter. It is the role of a father to give away what is his own, even as God the Father brought Eve to Adam.

They will be perpetually influenced by their in-laws, aunts, and uncles. These relatives will be giving the new family suggestions, recommendations, and advice.

When you spend considerable time in the company of your intended’s family you will learn many things about that person.

Practically speaking, one can’t “front” in the presence of their kid brother or sister.

The father and the son worked along side each other in the family business. The son served as an apprentice and would be his father’s “disciple.” Scripture teaches that a son is to work cooperatively under his father's leadership in the courting of a spouse.

Men are the initiators. If he is really interested in you he will pursue you. Jesus pursued His bride, the church. He left the glory of heaven and went through ridicule and torture—even death—as proof that He loved us.

There will be a tendency to rush ahead of the Lord to find a mate. Don’t do it!! Wait for God’s choice.

“I am going to have to encourage my kids go through something like that?”

“Courtship is God’s ideal way to begin a relationship but don’t dismiss it as unattainable.”

“A foundation needs to be laid first. The main foundation is that of faith in Jesus Christ.”

Relationships 101 Biblical Courtship and Marriage

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