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transcript

THE BORN LOSERr ~Glf>.,DYS, THAT OOE.S IT! WE:. VE.

FINN.LY ~VEJ) UP moue,/-{MONE:.Y TO BUY I Wl-\~T

WE: 5Tf'..R.IE.D

~VING FOR.BALK IN1979!

by Art Sansom

- - - -- -----~----

by Art Sansom

NOT/-{ING! YOO

N(VER p.(,Rf£ TO

GIVE Mf... MY I

v . ~TOD'\Y Ir~ ~5 YE5TE.RD"YIT wtO

'7 $S U6T Wf£K.1T ~

~ WfQ $S!..:vST k1AAT f00 YW INTEND TO c:o IWIT1-\ ML TI1lSMDNe,y7 j-'1 ~~

I He BORN LOSER

1-\('( FOp, MAY rI-\P-,VE FIVE. e~n:')~

HAUAH THE HORRlBl"::

~f.,VS F A MAN CAN Gi,AN£7'IHI~ AI A ~A~ Fo12 HOIJ12~,..

fUZZLe:

By Chris Browne

... WHY CAN'T H~ 6HOP WrfH ~ I::; WIFeI.-ON~g12 IriAN 16 MINUie.6 't

MISTER BOFFO by Joe Maztin

By Mort Walker

WE'RE GOINGTHREE DUST CLOUP5

ANP TWO SPEEDLINES

~ ..•~T flOW 00 TI-\E.YKNOWWl-\~T

SiZe: TV We. Kf>..VE.?

by Art sansom

DyAn~nsom

r MUST BE. .,

(£1TI~(' <1&.TTE:.R. ...

ITU~1O&:'tNE. MINUTE Hi

by Art Sansom~ ~H~VE:N/T r TCX-D YOU A MllLlCN

ITf I'AES~T TO EXN:hE.RA."IE ?§

50 MllfS ,AN HOUR?

by Art Sansom~ r ~ ~ ,

I'VE OCE.N~TI NG IN OCD \.JElL, mE.:RE'~ YOJR.. PROei£M!

FO~sevEN t»-.Y5me> t ~T\LL ! Dt~'T you KNOW"ffit\T ~€N

FEEL DRAINEt> \ I t»..Y~ IN BED f'AAK£~ ONe:§ WEAK?!~

THE BORN LOSER

THORNAPPLE!I!\

rHE BORN LOSERP'

1 JJ~T CAA'T 5j.{t\~E.m\~ e1JG,~.~TOtU. ...

BEETLE BAILEY

OUR 5PEEDOMETE~IS 8ROI<EN. 1-40WFAST DO YOU THIN/<WE'RE GOI NG,BEETLc~

WIZARDOFID

~ATWA~THe ~eATe7T~UMMATroNyoU ~V~~

ClE-L./Vf:P.eti W

A oJU,"Y,peTTYr

WIZARD OF 10

By Brant parkerand Johnny Hin

By Brant Parker and Johnny Hart

BEETLE BAILEY

WE'RE HAVING AMEETING, CAROL,AND I NEED TWODOZEN 170ueHNUT6

BEETLE BAILEY

6TRANGf,r'M JU~T

NOTHUNGRYTODAY

~A! HA~ ANPHOW MANY FOR

THE OTHERPEOPLE~

BE6IDE5, J: DON'TLIKE ANY OF THI6

By Mort Walker

ANOTHER 170ZENWOULD DO IT

By Mort Walker

). 50 JU5T GIVE ME Il-I"iONe HELPING OF

J EVERYTHINGIiIJIJ;IQ

WIZARD OF 10

-mE vlsm NC1

f'A'NT~ft- /S,

M£fC.G AG1A / N ,..

lMty DON'T

tbu POS~ foRA f'OHRtlITi

By Brant Parker and Johnny Han

~I(ilyoueVf;~ ~'(

HOL.-r/,NrfJ IN

YOUR. 5ToMAvHfO~ TH~[;

WIZARD OF 10

1,1 "ON6'flATU~ATION'I'"I YoU HAVG we lfeAltrANP THG 60C7Y Of A .1lf IfC.rr YeA It OL-/1!

WIZARD OF 10

------------_ .. --By Brant Parker and Johnny Hart

BV Brant Parker and Johnny Hart

... IM DOINb THeWO({ ~ OF TWO M B"N

Aft..oUNC7 He~e!

-_eo.~ - _ --- "-e'_ --.-. _ -

by Jeff Millar & Bill Hinds-

BUr IF ~ W'T au? ~-IAEGI'~'T BY :30 PO~'T~ AF'TER

. ~/D BEA'TElJ OUR FIR~'T-WEa:ClF'POtJE»'TBY 60 PO~'T~ AtJD 'T~

POlL~'TER~ GIVE lJI;. ~IX FE'WE'RFR~'T -PLACE' VO'Te::~. . . .

P"CANUTS by Cheri •• M. SChulz

AND TJ.lEN,RIG~T AHE~

SCI100L TODAIf,

OUR CLASS /5GOING TO ROA5TWIENER5 ANDMARSHMALLOWS ..

EEKANDMEEK

1M REALLY AGAlt\lsr 11-\15

CASltvO GAMBUOO e,(Ll ~srA~ IS PRQPoSIf\)G...

TH~ CCDS H<,£Th.t) 10 OU6.IT's GO/U3'ID

PASS ••.

-- -._---------_.-ROSE IS ROSE

~~~.iT·~~.~~~\~.., ~P\.ICA IS ~.

By Pet Bl'lldy

FOII.'ld 01 FORWORSEby Lynn Johnston

FOX 1IOT by Bill Amend

MOM, DAD, WOULD IT BEOle FoR ME To GET ANADVANcE oN MY ALLOWANCE:'

FOX 1IOT by Bill Amend

AN'!SUGGESTioNS?

RIGHT. THAT'S 52 WEEkS WITH

....J 'You AS HER BoYFRIEND •••52 WEEkS WITH 'You

AS A PIVoTAL PlAYER INHER LIFE ••• 52 WEEI<S WITH YoUAS THE CENTER oF HER EMd1'IoNAL

UNIVERS~. Cll;.

LET'S SEE••

'You'VEBEEN

DATING foRONE YEAR,

RIGHT:'

PAIGE, ,",ELf ME ouT. ICAN'T DECIDE WHAT ToGET DENISE FoR ouRANNIVERSAR'f.\

• __ •••• ., £.I.a.&.1.~'J~--- -~---~~

3"3 .3"~ .3"5.I ,

WHAT A WDNDERfVl

ANNlV£RSMY &IFT,PE1tR - A kiSS FOREVERY DAY WE'VEBEEN lb&E1HER.

\.\0/.'\. 't'

LJICED

.-'cD,- ~.

NoT THAT"HouRS" oR

THE BORN LOSER

~ 7rnoRNAPPl£, YOU'vE.~ IT ~utYOU!<FIC:JJ~ ~ roc RAMl~Z

KCOJ~T WE wr<a~!

by Art StInaom

r~\ ..mT~~T KaJf1\L(.H

(t\~€X (W~T!

by Art StInaompo 'O:l po ~

C:OYOUREALIZE nus I~ nEFiFTH ~K.~ l~ FRIC»--Y?Dl\Y IN '" ~ YOJ'Vf.. EDILHED ~

~INGUP?WaL, tWAAT 00 YOO AAI£ 10 1Y-..Y~ '1OU~! Ii

~~z~!o

"~ ,(£"". r OlD '(~~

Soto\E~IN6 SEI.fI.N>~tS~GOOD.' 'flE.~ I':>1\\£~ .T~l\{\tlG .l,,"C¥.\lO"l" ~ OF ~ .'fIER'C Tt>.I...\(.\NG se.soN .'MUl"l"IPLE. TR\I'S

fROM~~£ll) ~\lL \r I\Ll!

--- ---------------------By Brant Parker and Johnny H.rt

THE BORN LOSERyo ~

(11\ (.()t.(£R~t> ABOUTTH€~R1T'( (Jr M.Y1~~MEN5DUE.Tn m£·DEC.L.ININ~VN.J£

~ 'ffi£ DOU.~!

SHOE by Jeff MacNelly

CH..CHIEF, I Tl\INK 't'OO~WORRYINU N£E.[X£~LY ...

by Art =:iIanaom

THE: U6T I H£ARD IT W~

STIU- WORrH 100 c.err5

50 TJ.IE WINOOlL1.

FAC.TOR WILL MAKE IT FEEL

UKE 74 OVTTJ.IERE...

----------------CALVIN AND II088ES by Bill Watterson

MOM SOI'tS IF I STI\'< UP I-\£REf=OR T'flCl \-looR'S. nlREE DA't5 to. W£E~.t \X:)~T "PONE 10 T~KE. AtII'(

LE'S50~C;. IHIS S\lMM~R.

CARL SA6AN SAYS TI-IERE ARE AHUNDRED 61LLlON STARS IN OUR6ALAXV,AND TIlERE ARE A~UNDREDBilliON GALAXIES,AND EAC~ 6ALAX'r' CONTAINSA ~UNDREDBILLIONSTARS ~SORT OF PUTS THIN65 IN

PERSPECTIVE, DOESN'T ITC~ARLJE BROWN?

CURTIS by Ray Billingsley

HOW MANY 11ME17 DO

1. HA"e 'to 1ELL '(OU,C\l~'t\~'l

ONEDA,( 'fOu'~eGOING 'to COM&.10 Me ctUwlL.INGON 'fOUlt HAN~AND".!

THE BORN LOSERr ~

WI~I-\ ME; HN'PY Bli~{"J.~D,A..V/C.KILD•.•

nus I~M.,ySlm'~DBIR'ffiO,A..V!

BLONDIE

by Art Sanaomr'

N.L MYetmD~Y5 ~rTWENT'{·fOORHOO~

by Young and Drake

Ii WAS so GOOD. I I-IAOiI-II=tEE' PIECES

BEETLE BAILEY

HOWLONG WILL.YOU &EGON~,51 R'?-

IT USUALl.YTAI<EG FOURHOU~GTO 170

IS HOL.E=

By Mort Walker

"THEIR SALARIES PReALMOn fJLl R)R,K " '

I (Af.ST Uf.JD£RSrMD'Ut-IY CCU3R€.SS GETI'9JUJRt::fD I.R MR R:T<F:

11J!HE. BlJCGE,T

WHEN iJ.tREATENE~ ITeXPANI'S'TO FIF'TY 'TIM£~

ITS SIZE:

BvJlmDaYiI

GARF1n.D by Jim Davis

Chari.aM. SchutzPEANUTS

,~~' '. '!t .~i,' .;-"\.,~" c-t't

,Z·8 0 ,••.•U~ F-. .• SyndlCllle:lnc.,,' ,-,P."

~:I, ,;;1 ;;;:';;l 'i! d'r,'~r'·,:,.' ;,:"'J' ." ;';',q/,,/."i:, ,,,,.,i··.r.: ,~~~.~.J,,;.i r

HAGAR THf HORRIBLE

GINCe vJeVe E3S'E:NM,AJZ~15~J: FI@LJJZG "tbLJ'vG·6'A/NE:D 100POUN~ ANC7

YOlJ'v'~golJeHi'25 NeWBoAT6

Bv Chrla Browne

,riA, PIGtJl2l36 oilT ~e "~COMIt-J6

,0 A Nevv [x)A-r I t.lP WITH NeWffve/ZY 4 PotltJP6. 'I'IA'(6 To MAtLeMe- Feel, GUll:rY!

NIZARDOFID~--------- ------- ----- -- - ------'=-

1J.l/7 MAN WA'7 TAKI~b HOM~ PRo~rJY

Of /HE: K'N~M fROM 1He: 5TA8L..E7

GARFIELD By Jim D.vla.~

II CANT DO THIS MATHPROBLEM .. IT 14A5 T14REE'S

AND FOUR'S IN IT ....

I CAN'T DO PROBLEMST14AT j.{AVE Tj.{REE'S AND

FOUR'S IN Tj.{EM ..

W~ATILL '(OU DOWI-4EN '(au GET

TO EI6l-4T'SAND NINE'S?

WIZARDOFID

GARFIELD

I'M GOING TO THE. KliCHENTO BAKE. 'to t70ZE.N C.OOKIE.SI

By Brant Parker and Johnny Har t

BvJlm Davis

AND FIX lrlOURSE.LFA LITTLE. SOME.THINCs!

::stroE-- ------ --e-- ayW8IT MacN811y

HoW M(){;ff I~iH~.~ ~ &ON~T~IC.Tofl.r

""-'" I READ -ruI\T TI\E AvtR.6GEOOUSEHOLD W~TQ\ES7 Yz

HOVRS OF i\' EVER'i t»-'(,

MOM'St-,'{S~E~T WATG\

l'J AT I\\.L WHILE

I'M ~T9:.\100L...

..$:) IF r GET \-lOME. AI3:00, I S\t)\JLD BE ABLE

m 'N~TC\i If SlRNG\.\t TIlL10:.3:),R\~T?

by Art Sansom

5HOE---

I'M CAlkINGIT It 0Al(.

~ -by Jeff MacHelly

A Me~C ~12I<~'C':

THE BORN LOSERpo ~GRmDMA ~ 5A.Y5 51-\E.~

39 Yf.J>..R.-::'OlD ... DOE.S TAAT

). ~D Rl(,l.{TTO

HAGAR THE HORRIBLE

TON 1<:;0.-4.,- WeOFPfSFZ A

-rWO-FOf2-0NG&'INNerz

:sPeCIAl-

by Art Sansomp ~eDT REMf..N-&R, YOO AAVE. TO

MQTlPl Y TJ.IATBY ~vrnTO (£T

~E.R(>.(£ I~ I-\U~

/- YE:M:~~ ~ J;

By Dlk Brown.

ArJt'ILL..HAve: THE:

FORTY· SEVEN __,'Io4OWCAN ""ERE

BE AN ODONUMBER?

'fY1""nu vr IIJ ----------------..,bll'lly"'BUtWlan--t' "mer ana oIonnny "an

TANK McNAMARA

FaX T-.r by Bill Amend,,- -WEll.. Irs TAI<fN

'TWo DAYS •••IBoT I'VE FINALLY

fl~ISHED •••,

tlXTGAs J44M1LES . -

••• by Jim Unger

r.!lfto

••••••••• _ 2.2 •••••• "

ClOSE TO ••• by John McPherson

Accurately ..-..- •••• ., till CIIIIIcrani Isa •••••••• ,..,.. pol ••••

"Take 4 eggs. No, better make it 6. Well,let's say 9. Beat these 11 eggs ... "

NATIONAL ENQtJJD:Il

CLOSETO HOME by John McPherson

"Could I •••••••••••• six or •••• extra airsIckn •••••••• 1"

"Your weight is okay, but you"re too short forit.H

fit. tr\ON'rn OF SUNDAES,I PRESUME?

By Jeff M.cNeily

PEANUTS

ASK '(OUR D06 IFHE WANTS TO COME

OUT AND PLA\( ..

I - D:\\\\\i\l.

- ~---- ---- ---_.~~..~_.. __ .__ ._-

WI76an ru: In

by Chari •• M. Schulz

TWO OUT O~THREE ..HEADS 60

o OUT..TAIL5, 5TA,(~ IN ... ONE MORE3' TIME ..• OKAI(, ONE~ MOR'E TIME ...

By Brant ParKer ana ••onnny n_n

BEETLE BAILEY

BEETLE, '10U'~E ONE OFTWO THINGG,ANC' 1CAN'T

C'ECIDE WHICH

BEETLE BAILEY

By Mort Walk ••.

YOU'RE fElTHER A FIR5T-RATE 1-10NOTHING OR A TENTH- RATE

SOMETHING

By Mort Walk ••

WIZARDOFID

HOW 170 You

AITo(l.N~Y7&GT PA(() i'

------ .__--- I'TI---r-. I•.••I·-~---

OllAr, I W~OT~ AHATe: t.eTTett To TMe

~rN& ANI? t;,(?Ne17 IT

By Pat Brady

By Brant Parkir and JOhnny Man

BLONDIE

I'M ANSWERING THIS ~OODQUIZ, AND T~E FI~STQUESTION IS WHAT ~,. ~15 MY ~A'JO~ITe

MEA!. ... ~7-'~\:-~b

A THICK JUICY ST~IPSTeAK,? L.ASAGNA?8AReEQUED RIBS? .•

• • T( ~

by Young and DrakeTHIS IS HOPEL.ESS.' I'veGO" 23 'T"I-IINGS INA TieFOR FII<S'" pL.ACe-~~

WIZARDOFID

Ho w t.-o~(? HAVe :L 9EXN

IN Hf3~e, TUfl..t-lf'.eYf

--~ •••••••••••••• CATt. IMe

By BranrParker and Johnny Hart

By Scott Aoams

DY ",nartes M. Schul:

5Tf\i"!5TtCSDON'T lIE,

DOGBE.RT. UNLESS BAD

J STATISTICSWENT TOJAIL - THENTIiE OTHERS

(. WOULD LlE.

o\;;;.I, .,.

50, '<OUR THE.ORY 15

e THAT WHEN CAREERoJ CRIMINALS ARE INi JAIL} OTHER PEOPLE~ COMMIT MORE. CRIMES

~ TO KEEP THE AVERAGE.;; UP, ..i•••

I GUESS MA\(6ETHEI{'RE RIGHT ..GOLF 15 A

G GAME OF.Jf lNC~ES ..'4

«.{~l:,:1'-~

;:£~;?6-13

DILBERT

I OPPOSE PUTTING CAREERCRIMINALS IN JAIL FORLIFE. THERE'S NOEVIDENCE. T~AT LONGER

S~NTENCES )REDUCE CRIME.

HAGAR THE HORRIBLE

THE:I2E? Wlf.,/... £3SA~IJT A TweNTY

MINu,e WAIT

DILBERT by Scott Adams

U5E.INK.

YOU'R.E Tl\'(lNGTO TRICK US

INTO QUInING)MEN'T YOU7

"E.I"\PLOYEE ELECTION TO

NOT RE5CIND TKEOf'P05ITE .ACTION OFDECLINING THE REVERSE ~

INCLINATION TO NOT DIS- jCONTIN UE. Er\PLOYI"\ENT •

WITH THE. ICOMPANY," I;

ALL EMPlOYEES

MU5T FILL OUTTHIS FOR.M.

)- ..•.

BLONDIEOI>6WOO'O, 'r'OU SIolOUL.DN''T"EAT PEANU'T"S~I~TtoJ=TER DINNER.'

t GIVE UP! 'r'OU DON'TUNOERST~D ~E !=lRST~ING ABoUT NUTRITION.'!J

by Young.nd G••.• h.r1 UNO&RSTAND~ING!SIoIE G.6JHEO TWO POUNDSOVER TIolE 1olOI..1 DA VS Ilt.ND

1 DIDN'T GAIN A ~ING

fOX TROT by Bill Amena

MEAI'ITlME

IT'S SPRM .•.\

&aaD fblI\&T.I PlDlMLY

9HoULDACOXJIoIT

FoR AIR1M'!M1URE.

IFAMILYCIRCUS by Bil Ke:ane

. "No, I don't grade on a CUm. ••1t'11M CI •••• a••••••"

/ ---. ,•.. 0.......-, ...

AMYby Jack Tippit

"The Bruisers$qlJeaked by ustoday ...72 to 7."

..•.

~'J -4J!l1rJw'

-nil ..., is ••••••••••.••••••• 17•• nlllS, •••.••• Is 147 •••••••• "

't-lO,,··,;,·'.VIII O;~:-.: ••••=", .••~-----

~~ d~nf~rtunately, Bernice didn't read the wash~lAg ~nstructlons on her new blouse until shegot it home.

.••_ •••• ,. •••••••.•• e'lll f."

SQjw/li)~ . - '-"NlOmtEIl-I't &Dr>.ROIN8l..AT Mol!.£ "TI/AN I'Z."., NoR. A ~DE~ AT MO~

11fAN '9 %, BE." ,

CLOSE: TO HOME: by John McPherson

At ••••• to hulth-c:oMCioul customers,maar ......, doni ••••••••••• __ rs .•..-•....•....- .

"It cost $45, but you shoIIIdn't •••••• to., deodonat ••• 11IIIIIJOII',. 681"

PWIIED by Jeff MacNelly

••••••• ••• a•••••.• ..,. •••• to break at131,.' ••••. .

ClOSE TO HOME by John MePhersor

SUHJ.I... LE.T HII"'\

ENJOY THE MOMtNr.11 CAN ONI.Y 60

ONE WAY FROM

UE.RE .

CLOIE10 ••• by John McPhersonI' "'\

Deep down inside, Coach Knott had alwawanted to be a math teacher.

• 6.20 DAYSUNTIL

RETIREMENT

•.•........•. ........--

CLOSE TO HOlE by John McPherson•.-••••••••._ ..•m

CLOSETO 110. by John McPhersono

,.v;.~ HIManaee-t WI tMt tile __ cIuIrt washelpful in detectInc. ~~plo,... wIIo•••.•

CLOSE TO HOME by John McPherson,'.'::.,,':

Mftgets 169 miles per pilon, but it's sort ofa pain when it comes to dati ••• and clttlncgroceries."

~ ~nMWe're ••••••••• troIIIIIe willi our

lea••.••.•••••••• ., t.biI.., 37.21."

WHAT 1fI£.••?ACCMlVN67b 71115 liE o.we 2:W

•••••• •••••• clip coupons like HelenStruman.

WILL t«xJ HaPME. WITH NH

~1lME~1MlE5,DfAR BROTHER?

"Go straight for 65 cents, left for a dime, then right for $1.10."

CLosE TO •••• by John MePherson-

\ //-/9 . o•• __ ••_·_~_ ~~

"Ed u,s this mobile is a necessity ifshe's going to have any chance of getting

into Hanard Medical School In 2014."

"lie's not a perfect ••••• bat •••••••• ,.. ...., 01feedback."

Farmer &b's VWittPle'Slrden is 20 feet wille ll:f~o feet lon'6. Calculate itsarea in 5q.uare footaC6e.

\30= 201-

: [()'0)(30)-()'0)(0)]

= 1000ft"

oaClOSE TO HOME by John MePher

There are times when being a whiz atphysics can be a deftnite drawback,

.~'~~.:::':\\;S;i\L~;,~,;'.

I ALWAYS fOOlE D

I\ROUN D au Rr NGMATI'\ CLASSES. NOWr CAN'T DO MY OWNTAXES.

ACCORDING TO TI"II5)

YOU OW E YOUR TI\X ; ~

PREPAR.ER. AN Jtl !I\DDlTIONf\L TWO . j ITIiOUSAND DOLLI\R.S. L-jI;

FARCUS by Waisglass and CoUlthart

ClOSE TO HOME by John McPherson

"Something tells me that the IUJ in the roomabove me isn't doing so well."

....._'-~ .."-- .....•.•.•."".4IS6I-A'S/~Tf4IItA..,.

••••.••It'.30 ••••.•• ..., IIIIt It com40 •••••• .,.,.'"Of COI8'M I Iinow m, credIt-eal'd ••••••••• It •• 7-8-4...

He" wan • minute"

O --.~-CAPE COD 11MESPINION SANtDAY,_17,1_

I'V~ GOT IT.WE'LL. cur TA)(ES

BELOW Z:SB0 so wE'~eACTUALLY tOIVIN6 OJJ.T N\otJE~

THEN WE'LL CJJT SPE.ND/NG

BELOW ZERO So we'REAc.TUAu.."i TAkING

IN MONE.~.-

...,!!!!!'"""'------------

1JIIS IS HoW ,r($)T1D8Eus ~G4'NSTOEM. "

"Good news.. The judge reduced yo..- sentencefrom 7000 y••••• to 5000 y"""

""14'.-wI\' lIT,-.4'''- MI.IDB

OPINION SUNDAY CAPE COD TIMESJANUARY 15, 1995

"I'M GOING Sf.40PPING. I'LL BE BACK IN A SIX-PACK'

• Q ~hy did NetJt say t.heQUESTION .. Contrac.t. ~jt.h. America

BO~ was cfle~ible.'? -B.R.,Buffalo

A. It would have to be .

. '- ~]'t\~f\l-4'to~ht.'n~LOl't"f~'0' t,ofiY\t.1"'e... \)i" .~

"Well, this f. Just gotng from bMI to worse."

OPI NION SUNDAYCAPECODTIMESJANUARY 1, 1••

OPINION CAPE COD TIMES

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 27, 1994

$S U6T I -'1 - · PDF filefast do you thin/< we're goi ng, beetlc~ wizardofid ... fac.tor...

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